Till death do us part
chapter 28
(c) 2024 by ihatemilk
_#
The kitchen was neat and white; a bit like as if freshly painted; spacious, with a huge, wooden table in the middle and the cozy smell of dinner in the air. A bit like one of those places you entered for the first time and felt like you'd spent days of your life there before.
As soon as they approached the white table, Ares moved one of the blue chairs back for her. She rolled her eyes at it, as usual when he did that – and he always did – and she always secretly hated herself for loving those little caring gestures that made it hard to remember that she still needed to be on guard with him.
And right there, leaning over the pots and pans steaming on the stove top, was her – the woman, whose one motherly look made her feel like a little girl, made her eyes well up, and drew her close like a magnet.
"I'm sorry, we haven't been properly introduced. My name's—"
"Xena, I know," the woman's green eyes smiled at her.
She glanced over her shoulder to see Ares raising his brows guiltily.
"It's actually Ann – Xena's my middle name."
"My name's Elena – but your name is Greek, too – your parents are Greek?"
She swallowed hard, a lump forming in her throat. "My mother… her name was Cyrene."
Elene gazed at her, blinking. "I'm sorry, dear… don't stand here, take a seat, you're tired."
Blinking back tears, she headed back to the table and sat down, resting her elbows on the table, fiddling with her fingers. He took her hand in his, his thumb brushing against her knuckles, making another wave of tears come.
"Where was she from, your mother?"
"From here."
Elene let go of the wooden spoon, leaving it in the pot. "Oh… That's why you came here, to visit," she added. "From Amphipolis? What did she do? I might have known her, the town is small…"
"Are you okay sitting or wanna lie down?" he asked, saving her; suddenly at her side, stroking her head. "I'll get you some water."
"Thanks." Grateful for the diversion, she squeezed his hand and glanced up at him, meeting the smug gaze telling her he got her back.
"The dinner is almost ready," Elena announced happily, turning to look at them – or rather at Ares, to be specific – and she didn't know if it was more surreal or comical, but the only thing more disturbing than Elena being a clone of Cyrene was how she was eyeing Ares with such unbridled adoration that it was almost annoying.
She couldn't help but imagine what her mother would say if she saw her with Ares now. Well, Cyrene wouldn't be that delighted; to see her daughter with the god who once played with their lives in a way that had almost cost Cyrene her life. Though, once upon a time, when a certain temple wall exploded and Cyrene caught her with Ares in flagranti, her only comment was that she would rather it was Hermes, or something equally silly along those lines.
To her slight dismay and against all logic, now that she thought of it, she couldn't actually recall a single time where Cyrene manifested hostile feelings towards the God of War. But then again, she'd never seen her daughter pregnant and in love with him.
She sighed at the sudden realization. Sometimes, she forgot who he was. Sometimes, she just didn't want to remember.
She shook her head, realizing there was a full plate of soup in front of her and a conversation going on that she completely missed out on.
"It's fine, she always waits for the food to cool down a bit," he explained.
"You know her so well," Elena beamed in response.
"I've known her for a while," he smiled.
"How long do you know each other?"
She frowned, seeing as the question was directed to Ares instead of both of them. On the other hand, watching him of all people engaging in a chit-chat with the mother-in-law was more than hilarious.
The resemblance wasn't just physical, though; as it soon turned out, Elena was no less mother-like nosy than Cyrene, and somehow, the fact that she only just met them wasn't an obstacle whatsoever.
"Is this your first child?"
She felt her brows twitch, the memory of Eve and Solan making her heart tighten; and then she felt his touch on her hand.
"Yes," he said without a second of hesitation.
Well, he didn't lie. It was their first child together. Her third child, technically, and his – she didn't even want to go there – the sudden realization of how much of his seed must have walked the Earth made her queasy.
"But don't worry, baby, we'll have as many as you want," he said reassuringly, a playful glimmer in his eyes. With the tip of her shoe, she found his ankle under the table and kicked it; though apparently not hard enough. "She always wanted a big family," he added, turning to Elena, who was now eyeing him with even more adoration. "You know, to be honest, I never wanted children, but I guess it changes when you meet the right person."
"You are a perfect husband…" Elena mused dreamily. "Oh, no, I'm sorry, you said you're not married yet."
"I'm still waiting for her to say yes. You know, if it was up to me, we'd be getting married right now. I'm a traditional kind of guy, you know – I want our kids to be born into a married family."
"She will come to her senses after you have the second child, you'll see."
"That's what I'm hoping for," he nodded with raised eyebrows. "Baby, you'll get wrinkles from all that frowning."
"Weren't you supposed to chop wood?" she spoke once she regained her voice.
"Oh, that – yeah."
"I will do it," Elena chimed in.
"Oh, no need, he's very handy with an axe. He will chop you all the wood you need for the next two winters," she said, the corner of her mouth rising as she looked him in the eye. "Isn't that right, honey?"
"I love it when you call me that," he winked at her.
She drilled him with a venomous glare, then turned back to their hostess. "In fact, if there's anything you need done around here, he'll be more than happy to help – flooring, painting, you name it. I'm so lucky to have him," she smiled sweetly, enjoying the shade of panic on his face.
"I'm afraid there ain't much I can do in a day…"
"It's a good thing we're staying the whole week, then."
"You know I have work to get back to."
"Is work more important than me?" she asked sweetly, relishing the way Elene looked at him with anticipation.
"Of course not."
"Will we stay however long I want?"
She saw his jaw twitch as he drew a slow breath in. "We will."
"You promise?"
"We'll stay as long as you want, baby," he said, lowering his voice in a way that sent a little chill down her back.
"See? He's the best," she flashed him a smile of victory and turned to Elena – and frowned – the woman was staring at him, mesmerized.
"You should marry him right now, my dear."
She almost choked on the sip of water she was taking.
"We have a very nice little chapel here…"
"Thanks, but we'd rather have a private thing, no church. Ain't that right, baby?" he grinned as she shot daggers at him with her eyes.
"I'm gonna go lie down," she hissed through clenched teeth, getting up and resting her palms on the table for support as she felt her head spin.
"It's no problem, my child – I can find you an officiant in – how long did you say you are staying?"
"How long did you say we're staying?" he echoed the question, taking her in his arms with a smug grin.
"Just until I kill you," she whispered against his mouth.
#
Later, when she was standing at the kitchen window overlooking the sunlit backyard and the shed, watching him chop wood, wondering why he wouldn't turn his back to the setting sun instead of squinting against it, she felt Elena's presence behind her – quiet, for a change – not for long, though – and, for a moment, couldn't shake the feeling that she was back in her grandparent's farmhouse.
"You're scared to marry. It means you are smart."
She was silent for a while, pondering why the words didn't sound like a compliment at all, and instantly remembering how it used to piss her off whenever Cyrene would do that. At the same time, she tried to stifle some little voice in her head telling her that tying herself to him was anything but smart.
"You don't trust him."
She froze, taken off guard. It wasn't even a question, it was a statement. Like the woman read her mind.
"He was unfaithful?"
She breathed in abruptly, her heart racing. She couldn't allow herself to dwell on those thoughts, not when she was still pregnant. "It's not your damn business."
After a short silence, Elene spoke, her voice softer than before. "I am sorry, you're right."
Remorseful about her rough tone, tears coming to her eyes, she turned around. And that was it. Standing in front of this stranger she had only known for an hour, she was staring at her mother's face; the face softening with such care and concern that she couldn't hold it in anymore. "I'm sorry," she whispered, catching little breaths as tears streamed down her cheeks, letting herself sink into the warmth of the familiar embrace.
"It's okay, my child," the soothing voice made her cry on and on, till she was out of breath. "Come, I will make you a cup of melissa tea. Don't worry, at that speed he will be busy for another half an hour," the woman added, catching her steal a glance through the window. "And we can sit and you tell me everything."
She sighed with reluctance; she didn't feel talking, least of all about him, but as soon as they both sank into the sofa cushions in front of the fireplace, and she took the first sip from the steaming mug warming her hands, she was in another place; a place where she was safe and protected, where it was okay to be scared.
"I'll never be able to trust him. I thought I would, I tried, and I can't," she said, sniffling, "and I can't think about it now, it's bad for the baby," she added hastily, her fingers spreading across her stomach.
Elena smiled, and spoke, as if not hearing her. "I only once seen a man so in love… how he smiles when he talks about you…" the woman said, a dreamy look on her face. "I always dreamed to have a man look at me like that."
"It's not worth much if you can't trust him," she said bitterly.
"And then I met a man. He was the same. Tall and beautiful. Very charming. A math teacher." She smiled. "When he looked at me, I felt like I was the only woman in the world. I felt so beautiful…" Elena trailed off, her pursing her lips. "He didn't mind that I had children. He asked me to marry him…"
"What went wrong?"
"A week before wedding," Elena said, the smile frozen on her face, tears flowing from her eyes as she took a shaky breath in, "he went to Athens to join student protests against government. He was… uhm…" Elena paused, covering her eyes with her palm.
"I'm so sorry…" she whispered, feeling her own eyes getting watery.
"I don't know if he was a good man, if he would be faithful… maybe not. I wonder about it, every day for the last twenty years... I think maybe… maybe I'm just jealous, that you are lucky to know it," the woman chuckled through tears. "I am sorry, I don't make no sense."
"You do…" she said, fighting the sudden urge to pull Elena into a hug, another wave of tears filling her eyes as the words echoed in her ears. Lucky. On the one hand, it did make sense. But, was she lucky, really? Was it actually better? Being with him and suffering, rather than never having gotten into this and just wondering what if?
Was this question even relevant now? Now, when feeling the warmth of his presence was like oxygen, when the thought of losing him made her heart stop, when seeing him struggle with the problems he was ashamed to share with her only made her love him more than ever… now was a bit too late. She was in too deep.
"You're in pain because you love him. And need him," Elena said knowingly, a sad smile etching on her face; and she wasn't wrong, really.
Maybe just a bit. Because, whether she needed him or not, it didn't matter right now.
What mattered was that he needed her.
And as long as he did, she wasn't going anywhere.
"I'll be right back." She put her empty mug on the table and headed to the garden.
As soon as he saw her, he tossed the axe to the ground and stepped towards her. "You okay?" he asked, sliding his hands around her waist.
"Mmm," she hummed, holding his face and pressing a tender kiss onto his lips, which he returned with equal softness. "I am, now," she whispered into his mouth, closing her eyes as he hugged her tighter.
She was.
Right now, she was.
#