Chapter 7

BushClan/Fawnpaw

As days passed and blurred together, Fawnpaw found herself struggling to keep up with her duties. Nothing in particular was more difficult than before, she just was feeling a little more like a shadow of her former self. In some ways she wanted to prove that she was who she always claimed to be, but that nagging feeling kept being squashed down that she had to prove it to no one. She supposed it was because of the meeting she agreed to with Brightpaw, but it was hard to imagine for her.

No cat had shown an interest like that and she wasn't sure why it bothered her. She wasn't against it, she welcomed it since most cats she first met, whether they were a passing loner or aggressive cat, often didn't want anything to do with her. It troubled her, but so far no one seemed aware of it. She did her duties as planned, double checked to make sure there were no thorns or splinters in the new bedding, or even made sure to catch prey.

All the while, Fawnpaw struggled to understand what was bothering her entirely. Was it the way Brightpaw had looked at her with those big round eyes? Was it the fact she chose a time and place so soon? It was getting hard for her to place it. Brightpaw wasn't a terrible cat, or at least she didn't think so. Then again, she thought Cootpaw's brothers were cool until they started practically bullying her about the things she was most self-conscious about.

Yet, as the days passed and the moon began to reach for it's familiar half-silver face for the medicine cats, she knew that it was coming closer and closer. She even spent time helping Icepath gather herbs like the other apprentices have to help her provide for so many cats. The blind white she-cat was strange, she usually stuck to the shadows and nighttime, but when she needed things she requested an apprentice and their mentor to lend her a paw. It was hard to not see why, her ears and nose often turned a burning red color and looked uncomfortable for their healer.

She could recall the way the stark white she-cat squinted against the sunlight, trying to see with her limited vision. Sometimes, when it was just her and Icepath, they would have deep talks about what it meant to be part of the Clan. Icepath, with her vast knowledge despite barely being older than Fawnpaw, spoke from a truth within her own heart. The healer and her siblings had to grow up fast and mature far faster than any cat before them. Icepath had tried to become a warrior, but as fate would have it, her anxious thoughts and failing vision slowed her progress.

Icepath chose to become a healer, even if it was her destiny to do so, she made that final choice for her own sake. However, Fawnpaw had heard it many times how Applemist and Foxgaze forced Poppyclaw to retire and left Icepath without a mentor to guide her paws for many seasons. Truth be told, Icepath still consulted the former medicine cat, but she kept it in secrecy. Especially when it came to Fawnpaw's unique situation. With Poppyclaw's care and Jasminepetals thoughtfulness, they managed to combine ideas for Fawnpaw to feel comfortable with herself.

However, it all seemed to be far from it now. Icepath assured her that she was no different from any she-cat, but Fawnpaw could easily disagree. Despite it, she found solace in learning more on what made her no different, even if it was hard for her to see or feel it that way. She felt too big to be a she-cat, but Icepath assured her otherwise. She even once brought up the width of her shoulders, comparing it to more like a toms, but the healer was quick to debunk her dysphoria and brought up Gingerstrike, a cat she had never had the chance to meet.

As it turned out, Icepath's mother had wide shoulders for a she-cat, but it never made her any less of one. Somehow, that actually helped. The slim-shouldered healer even pointed out that in some ways, it was as though Gingerstrike had returned in that way, giving Fawnpaw her shoulders so she could be strong enough to face the world. It was something that slowly gave her confidence that she did have a she-cat's shoulders all along. She was just like Gingerstrike, ready to shoulder the problems of her future mate or even her Clan when the time came.

It was after these musings, these thoughts to bring her back down from feeling like a shell of the she-cat she wished she could be, that she felt more at peace with herself. Sure, she still felt off and not quite like the other she-cats; but she was still a she-cat at the end of the day. She wasn't lying to herself or anyone else, that was something she knew deep down. She was a she-cat, even if some days her mind was cruel like the teasing-like bullying from Auburnpaw and Rustpaw.

"Seems like you're feeling better today." Jaggedcloud called from across the clearing, snapping Fawnpaw from her thoughts.

"Yeah, I guess I really just needed some time to relax." She replied, rising to her paws with a stretch.

"You looked so troubled, I was getting worried I might have to have your mother speak to you." Her mentor went on as she approached.

"Tumbleheart doesn't need to." She pointed out, "I just needed time to get my head on straight."

"Well, since it seems to be now, want to join me for a hunting patrol? You can show off to Flametuft and Rustpaw." She pointed out warmly. "Amberhawk will be joining us as well."

"I guess it wouldn't hurt." She murmured, trying to feel upbeat about it. She didn't like Rustpaw very much, but she was certain with Flametuft and Jaggedcloud there, the young tom wouldn't do or say anything bad to her.

The older she-cat beckoned her to follow. "It'll be fine." She promised softly, "And if anything happens, you let me or Flametuft know."

The light brown and white she-cat nodded as she followed, keeping her amber gaze trained on her mentor's white-tipped tail. Everything had been tough, but she knew she needed to have faith that things will be different. Even for a moment, just so she could feel more and more like she belonged.

The thin-tree forest rustled around the apprentice as she followed Jaggedcloud, her amber eyes wide to take in as much as she could. Ahead of them was Flametuft, the red tabby twitched his stub of a tail, which looked a little like a fluffy tuft of fur. She supposed the tomcat had gotten his name from it somehow. His long fur collected burrs and twigs and leaves often, but his head was raised high as he kept an eye on Rustpaw.

The older apprentice flicked his tawny ticked-tabby tail. His yellow eyes focused on being a proper warrior. She supposed he was too focused to be in a teasing manner. Still, she could only watch as the young tom reported to his mentor, his yellow gaze flickering to her with a flash of mischievousness. After a quick word and Flametuft nodding, the older apprentice slowed his steps to fall beside her.

"So, what's a big girl like you have going on up there?" Rustpaw asked, his tone surprisingly curious.

Fawnpaw's pelt ruffled, but she looked away. "Just thinking on how well you seemed to be doing."

"Really?"

"Well, you can be a brat, but you at least know when to focus." She admitted softly.

Rustpaw gently nudged her. "Well, I guess you can say I just grew up better with Flametuft teaching me. And the cuffs around the ears from Jaggedcloud do put a number on me."

"Well deserved ones." She reminded him as she spared him a glance.

"I won't deny that." He told her softly, "I know it probably doesn't mean much, but I am sorry. I was young and stupid and didn't think how much words could hurt. Flametuft was able to explain how I should be more careful. I know I'll fall back into old habits and, you know... but I wanted to at least apologize. I will try to do better, but I can't promise I won't slip up."

"I'd rather you try." She told him firmly.

"Then I will. Even if I stumble and slip, I'll still try." Rustpaw murmured, "I hope you could forgive me someday."

Fawnpaw looked away. "Maybe."

Ahead of them, Jaggedcloud called over her shoulder. "We're almost to the hunting spot, so you two better hurry up now before you scare off the prey."

Rustpaw called back. "We're coming!" He looked at Fawnpaw before racing ahead to catch up.

The light brown and white she-cat watched, uncertain what to do with the conversation from before. Rustpaw could try, but like before it always fell flat. At least this time he actually apologized, but Fawnpaw wasn't so sure it would be enough. Taking a steadying breath she picked up her pace to catch up with the rest of the hunting patrol.

The brush swayed gently in the breeze as they arrived at the northernmost point of their sheltered territory. Not much further would be the moorland that stretched to the thunderpath. It was a popular spot in late newleaf and the thick of greenleaf. It was shaded by the thin-trees, although these ones were pine and often dropped pinecones at certain times of the season, making it a nice spot for them to hunt birds and squirrels. Some bushes had tiny red berries that blackbirds tended to enjoy. She just hoped they could find something as they crept through the brush carefully.

A few squirrels were there, foraging for their food while the birds chirped and sang like nothing was wrong. All the while, Fawnpaw and her Clan-mates slowly spread out to try and surprise the small flock and the squirrels. It would be tricky, but it was worth trying to get whatever prey they could from here before heading south to check the tall-puddles where the birds played in the shallow water.

Fawnpaw waited, twitching her ears as she heard Jaggedcloud's tiniest movements in a nearby bush. She could almost imagine her mentor's reddish-brown tabby patches blending into the shade and dapples of sunlight with the sharp focus in her yellow eyes. Refocusing back on her task, she trained her gaze on a bird that fluttered down, unaware of the gentle rustles of the cats prowling into position.

At last, Fawnpaw crept into the brush before her, making sure to freeze when the breeze stopped to make it seem like she was nothing but the wind. Her amber eyes narrowed as she picked up the more faraway impatient shifting of Rustpaw, getting more comfortable. A squirrel looked over, their beady eyes watching with nervous flicks of their tail, but no warning chitter. Their prey was suspicious and alert, just as their Clan needed. Another breeze picked up and slowly Fawnpaw stalked closer into position, laying on her belly to hide in the weeds and wildflowers that were in the brush, her eyes keenly focused as the birds hopped around, scratching at the grasses and pecking up whatever bugs they could find.

She adjusted her back legs and paws under her body, making sure they were ready to spring the moment Jaggedcloud or Flametuft gave the signal. Her ears swiveled as she waited with baited breath before she heard the small flick of a tail against a leaf that didn't match the gentle hiss from the breeze. Bunching her muscles, she leaped out, her paws landing squarely on the bird before her while the other songbirds took to the sky with a flutter of wings and alarm calls that echoed through their portion of the thin-tree forest.

Nearby, Jaggedcloud had a starling in her jaws, it's speckled plumage drifting around her. Ahead, Fawnpaw could see Rustpaw with a somewhat large squirrel in his jaws, while Flametuft had somehow found a vole that must have gotten confused in the chaos. Pride in her Clan filled her chest, birds were her favorite to catch due to their difficulty, but she supposed every prey was difficult in their own way. After all, she would have struggled to catch a squirrel. Rustpaw's tail lifted with pride, his yellow eyes glinting in the sunlight as he began to head towards Jaggedcloud.

Fawnpaw followed his lead, turning and padding to return out of sight of the Twolegs that would soon come. Living so close to them made hunting difficult, but their strange addition of seed-holders and even tall-puddles were able to encourage birds to come in flocks during certain times of the day and seasons. Close behind her and Rustpaw was Flametuft as he pushed through into the shroud of brush and bushes.

Rustpaw put his catch down. "I guess this is why we're called BushClan." He purred in pride.

Jaggedcloud dropped her starling, managing to spit out a feather that was caught in her mouth. "You'd think that, but it's because of Bushstar and the Clan of cats that guided us to freedom from Willowstar's mother's anger and hatred. Although, this territory is unique and has plenty of bushes and bunches of flowers to push through, so I'd think we are growing into the name as we learn how to navigate and hunt to provide for the Clan."

"I know, but how many cats would try to be part of the flowers? I mean, I know Fawnpaw would," The tawny tom glanced at Fawnpaw, quickly adding in, "And you did hide there very well, I didn't even know you went into them."

Fawnpaw blinked, unsure what to do with such a compliment of her stalking skills as she stammered out, "I... I just, you know. The flowers are strong so if the wind changed I thought it would be a good spot either way."

"It was an excellent choice." Jaggedcloud murmured, "I'd have thought the yellow dust they make would make a cat sneeze and expose themselves."

"Fawnpaw probably is immune." Rustpaw pointed out.

"Immune or not, it was a risky thing to try." Flametuft reminded the patrol, although his amber eyes glinted with admiration. "But I'd expect nothing less of an apprentice only a moon behind my own."

"She is a smart one." Her mentor meowed warmly, "She still has lots to learn and hone, but she has grown into the skills her paws have. My expectations from the beginning have only grown with each accomplishment. I'm positive Fawnpaw will earn her name right on schedule and be a wonderful warrior."

"Thank you." Fawnpaw mewed shyly, ducking her head as she looked away.

"And me?" Rustpaw asked eagerly.

Jaggedcloud flicked her tail, "You're a bumbling goofball, but I'm sure Flametuft will make sure you finish in time with your siblings."

"Hey, why does Fawnpaw get all the good praises?" Rustpaw frowned.

Flametuft couldn't help but trill softly in amusement. "Well, your mother isn't teaching you. But I'm sure she's pleased that you are making nice with Fawnpaw for once and caught a good sized squirrel."

"That is true." Jaggedcloud added in, "If I was watching for your final assessment, I'm sure you would make me proud to be your mother. Besides, you're already full of pride and confidence. I'd expect nothing less of my sons and daughter, the most I wish is for your success, no matter how long it takes. The same goes for Fawnpaw. I want her to succeed, but at her own pace. Some things are easier for a cat to pick up and others struggle. As a mother and a mentor, I just wish for the success of my kits and apprentice, even if it takes several more moons than what others think is normal. After all, there is no rush in learning to be a proper warrior."

"It's not like there is any real danger around." Rustpaw pointed out dryly.

Flametuft shook his head. "Oh, you never know that for sure. Yes, the Fragment is in hiding and has been quiet, but there are still foxes and who knows what else out there. Hunting keeps us fed while mock-battles keep our fighting skills strong. If there was anything I learned when I was your age, there is always something in the forest that can come out of the blue. Sometimes it's something easy like an aggressive cat passing through, or it's something awful like a Clan of foxes hunting before they move on."

"It's just been peaceful, so I didn't think..." Rustpaw trailed off, his expression thoughtful.

Fawnpaw blinked, she hadn't known such conflicts, but the look in Flametuft's eyes said more than enough. Clearly, Flametuft knew the dangers of the thin-tree forest and what could possibly come from beyond. While they may have never seen it, the older warriors were obviously always preparing for the inevitable. WillowClan may be friendly and learning their way as a Clan and the former River-Fragment from the stories she had heard had vanished into an eerie silence, but those were not the Clan's only problems.

Swiftly, her mentor picked up her prey, the others of the hunting patrol followed suit and began to make their way back to camp. No matter what happened, they had to look out for one another and hope they could fend off anything and everything. Fawnpaw could only hope that it would continue to be peaceful between the cats in the area at least, as she did not envy the older warriors of her Clan for their battles in the past. Even she knew they weren't battles, those were times of war and every cat bore the scars-(physical and mental)-from such trying times.

Author Note:

Slightly shorter chapter because I got sick in the middle of writing it and now that I'm mostly better, I am trying to make the buffer like I planned.

Also, I found my moon calendar that I was using for this fic so I can finally speed things up a tad bit now that I know for a fact when the new moon is! If you are curious, the events are taking place in March 2014 according to the moon calendar (I love using random years to find a good time-frame setting to base the story on.)

Anyways, the history of BushClan is also taught to their new apprentices and they are taught to appreciate the peace while acknowledging that in the wild there is always danger lurking. Fawnpaw and Rustpaw had a rough history with one another, but it seems Rustpaw is attempting to be more mature and accepting of his den-mate.

Fanwpaw gets lots of hunting chapters because I never got a chance to show how they hunt in their territory enough before. So, slice-of-life with Fawnpaw hunting is fun for me to world build into the AU of this changed half-moorland and half-former forest territory.

As always, thank you for reading and have a fantastic morning, day, evening, and night! - NightSky