September 25th, 844

"No!"

Tegan Lewis lunged across the table, her fire-red braids flinging around to whip her face. "Ow!" she added—but did not fail to wrestle the pile of cards out of her colleague's hand.

"Come on," Abel complained, trying to pull the deck back from her. "I promise I won't cheat!"

"Name one time," Tegan said fiercely, "that we have played this game and you have not cheated."

"There's a first time for everything," Bradley piped up, lounging back in his chair and taking a sip of whiskey.

"I have a lot of faith in humanity," Tegan said. "But not in Abel. Abel can go to hell."

"Erwin!" called Hange, catching sight of the tall man walking past the open door. "Join us!"

The Survey Corps' fourth section commander paused, poking his head into the room. "You look like you're doing just fine without me," he said. His mouth was serious, but his eyes were smiling. "I've seen all this before. Let me guess. Tegan's about to strangle Abel, Bradley is secretly cheering her on, and Hange just wants to play the game."

"Please, Erwin," Hange practically wailed. "You're the only other personwho takes Euchre seriously! Besides, if you play, then Abel can't play, and he can't cheat if he doesn't play—"

"Hey!"

"Besides!" Hange waved a bottle of whiskey in the air. "When's the last time you had a drink with your favorite section commanders and senior team leader!"

"Considering the fact that you were only promoted last night, never."

"We've got tequila too!"

Erwin laughed. He walked in, pulled out a chair, and began shuffling the deck.

"Take a shot, or you won't be any fun," Hange insisted, shoving the bottle and a glass toward Erwin.

"He's too serious now," Tegan said. "Section Commander Erwin Smith, head of training, wouldn't be caught dead drinking."

Erwin took a shot.

"Nice," said Bradley, nodding approvingly.

"Do another one," Hange ordered, laughing as she poured another glass of whiskey for Erwin.

"Hange, I haven't slept in thirty-six hours, and I haven't eaten since this morning, so if you're trying to get me drunk…"

"Obviously I'm trying to get you drunk, who the hell do you take me for?" Hange interrupted, pushing the glass at Erwin. "Take another shot."

If it hadn't been quite so long since Erwin had last slept, if the memory of Levi's training fiasco weren't quite so recent, he probably would have refused. But a couple drinks always made him feel weightless, and right now it sounded nice to be weightless. He took the second shot and dealt the cards.

An hour and a half later, Erwin's glass had been emptied and refilled twice. They had played three games. Erwin and Hange had won every time.

"It isn't fair," Tegan complained, throwing her cards across the table. "Erwin always wins."

"I wasn't winning earlier today," Erwin said, gathering up Tegan's cards.

"Cheer up," Bradley said. "Levi's an asshole who shouldn't be leading a squad, and that's not your fault. The training setup was brilliant. Way better than anything Flagon would have put together."

"No," Erwin interrupted quietly. "We don't need to talk about Flagon like that."

There was a moment of silence.

"Another game?" Hange asked.

"Here's what I don't understand," Abel said. "Shadis said the reason for upping our training game is so that we get more support from the Royal Government, right? But what's all the training for?"

"Exactly," Erwin said vehemently. His outburst was so sudden that everyone jumped.

"Erwin?"

"Exactly," he repeated. "Shadis thinks the training is to teach Scouts how to survive. But it isn't bad training that kills Scouts—it's fear."

"Come again?" said Bradley.

"Okay," said Erwin, grabbing the cards and dealing them out in groups onto the table. "Let's say this group of cards is a squad—and this one, and this one. Each squad is disciplined, well-trained. Their squad leaders all have the right tools in their back pocket when they encounter a Titan: retreat, engage, avoid."

"Sure," Hange said.

"Besides, we never travel very far outside the walls," Erwin continued. "No Scout has ever gone further than a couple miles out—maybe three, although it's hard to measure. So why do we take so many casualties?"

Erwin grabbed a couple of half-full glasses and dragged them toward one of his squads, whiskey sloshing out onto the table. "Imagine these glasses are Titans. One of these disciplined, well-trained squads sees these Titans. What would you expect them to do?"

"Their training should kick in," Abel replied, eyes trained on the imaginary map. "Retreat, engage, or avoid. Like they've practiced."

"Right, but they don't." Erwin pressed his fingertips to the cards and sent them flying. "At least seven times out of ten, maybe more, the squad breaks rank. Some of the individual soldiers don't, some of them stand their ground, but that isn't good enough when you're facing a Titan. Boom—casualties. Every time."

He had everyone's attention now. All eyes were on Erwin.

"Then what are we supposed to do?" asked Hange, leaning forward. There was a glint in her eyes.

"The goal can't just be to survive," said Erwin. "They have to be aiming for something else—something worth sacrificing for. Something so important that if they die today, facing this Titan, it will have been worth it."

"How do we do that?" Tegan broke in.

"We go out farther," Erwin said simply, pushing the pile of cards away from him. "That was always the goal: build a base outside the walls. We haven't found the right place, so we keep exploring. And even if we don't find a location for a base, then we—"

Erwin cut himself off. He stared at his empty glass of whiskey, then shook his head.

"Anyway," he said. "That's what the long-range formation is for. Every squad has a job, and they're so focused on the job that they don't have time to be afraid. And even if they encounter a Titan, they can stand their ground because at least they're finally doing what they came here to do: help save humanity. And that goal is a hell of a lot better than staying alive just so that some fat bigwig in the Capitol will give your regiment more money."

The other four stared at him, mouths hanging open. After a long pause, it was Hange who finally spoke.

"Damn, Erwin," she said. "Why aren't you commander?"

Erwin shook his head.

"Don't repeat anything I said. Ignore me."

"But—"

"It's not time." Erwin lifted his eyes and finally met Hange's gaze. "Not yet."

October 6th, 844

Everyone had been saying that this would be the coldest autumn in twenty years, and Erwin finally believed it. It was only early October, and the air was already bitingly cold. The wind only made it worse—infernal, driving gusts that never stopped blowing.

Erwin pulled his cloak more tightly around his shoulders as he made his way from the barracks to the training forest. The sky at the horizon was just beginning to lighten, tinged with shades of orange and pink. The rising sun would hopefully take some of the edge of the cold away, but Erwin didn't have too much hope. For the past week, the training routines had been miserable.

As Erwin passed the stables, he heard a noise from inside—and not a horse's snort. It was the sound of a human.

Erwin pushed open the double doors, and there was Levi, already dressed in his uniform, shoveling muck out of one of the stalls.

"Hello," said Erwin. Levi glanced up, grunted in acknowledgement, and returned to his shoveling. It occurred to Erwin that the stable smelled odd, but he couldn't quite place the scent at first. His gaze passed from Levi across the rest of the stable. The floors were scrubbed spotless. Each stall had been scraped out and filled with fresh hay. The stains on the walls had disappeared. Even the cobwebs on the rafters had been knocked down. The only spot in the entire stable that wasn't perfectly clean was the last stall near the door—the one that Levi was currently shoveling.

"You did this?" Erwin asked, unable to keep the note of surprise out of his voice.

"Is this not," Levi said without looking up, "what you ordered me to do?"

"It is," said Erwin, "it's just…" He trailed off.Levi continued to work, keeping his eyes trained on the floor.

"You did a good job," Erwin said at last.

Levi shivered—but did not reply.

"Are you cold?" Erwin asked.

Levi shrugged.

"We issued you a cloak for a reason," Erwin pointed out.

Levi kept shoveling.

"Why aren't you—"

"It's fine," Levi said. "I'm fine."

October 29th, 844

In late October, Shadis granted Erwin two days' leave to visit some extended family in the Capitol—one of Erwin's cousins and his wife. Erwin did, in fact, visit his cousin's family. He did hold his six-month-old nephew for the first time, and he did eat a home-cooked meal or two in an actual dining room.

But that wasn't why he went.

While he was in town, Erwin sent a note to Nile Dok, an old friend from his cadet days. I heard through the grapevine that there will be an informal gathering at the Premier's home tonight. The reply was immediate. Yes, of course, everyone would be delighted if you attended.

And Erwin Smith did attend. He smiled at his old friends in the Military Police, he shook his head modestly when bureaucrats sang his praises, he listened carefully and nodded intelligently when talking with the Premier. He worked the grand room deftly, carefully, leaving out no one important, learning as many new names as he could. He pretended not to notice as his name, his presence, began to circulate the room more quickly than he did.

"You know," said Nile, "have you met Elijah William yet?"

"Elijah William?"

"He's a member of the Regiment Council—recently elected, so I'm not surprised you haven't met him. I can introduce you, if you'd like."

Was that a knowing glint in Nile's eye?

"Yes, please," Erwin replied.

November 1st, 844

"I'd rather," Erwin sighed, "you not make this a habit."

A scowling Levi sat across from him, slumped back in his chair, arms folded.

"Didn't do anything."

"Let's see." Erwin consulted the report that he had received just minutes ago. "While I was gone, you…assaulted a superior officer?"

"Not like that," Levi grumbled.

"Then what happened? According to you?"

"We were training—not Titan training, just normal hand-to-hand combat stuff. Without the ODM gear. Squad leaders were supposed to train their squads. That's what I was doing."

"The report says…" Erwin leaned closer, consulting the scrawled writing on the desk in front of him. "You 'caused multiple physical injuries to your squad.'"

"They all fought me," said Levi. "One at a time, the way God intended."

"And your logic in this case was…"

Levi shrugged. "Fighting me is good training. It's not like it'll ever get harder than that."

"And the injuries?"

"You don't learn anything from a fight unless you get hurt."

"Okay," said Erwin, leaning back in his chair. "The report says that Section Commander Bradley Zion stepped in."

"He told me to stop. Said I was doing it wrong."

"So you…fought Section Commander Zion?"

"Yes," Levi said simply, as though his reasoning should be obvious.

"Why did you fight Section Commander Zion, Levi?"

"My squad was there," said Levi. "If I had backed down, I would have been weak. They would've stopped listening to me."

"Levi," said Erwin. "Has your squad ever listened to you?"

Silence. The small figure in the chair glowered at him.

"Here's some advice," Erwin continued, "and I'll be the first to admit that nobody can make you take it, but you should take it anyway. If you really want your squad to respect you, give them orders. And not," he added quickly before Levi could even open his mouth, "orders to stay put. Treat them like they might actually help you."

"They can't," Levi muttered.

"And that's why they don't respect you," Erwin said.

Levi didn't try to argue, and Erwin decided he might as well consider that a victory.

"Your training methods were fine," Erwin continued after a moment, "but you did assault a superior officer, and you can't do that, so I'm assigning you to another week of cleaning duty—the kitchens this time."

November 4th, 844

In all his years with the Survey Corps, Erwin had never seen the kitchens this clean.

October 29th, 844

Whatever Erwin had been expecting of the newest member of the Regiment Council, the real Elijah William was quite different.

"Erwin Smith!" he cried when he saw Erwin approaching. "In the flesh!"

"Mr. William?" Erwin said, holding out his hand. The other man shook it vigorously.

"Please," he said, "call me Eli. I've heard so much about you that I feel like we're already friends."

The man's grin was infectious. Unlike every other cold, calculating face in the room, Eli's face was genuinely good-natured. Automatically, Erwin tried to turn on his political smile, only to discover that he was already smiling.

"It's so good to meet you," Eli continued. "I've been meaning to meet with Commander Shadis for weeks now. I would say that you're the next best thing, but—well. At least we've met now."

"It's a pleasure to meet you too," Erwin replied.

"Have a drink with me?" Eli asked, gesturing for Erwin to follow him.

And Erwin did.

November 10th, 844

It was mid-morning, and the training exercise for the day was only just beginning. They typically started at dawn, but the early mornings had been so cold lately that Erwin had decided to show mercy today.

Moblit and his squad were gathered in the forest clearing, already in formation. Erwin stood nearby, preparing to start the exercise. Once he blew his whistle, Moblit's squad would ride down a pre-designated path through the forest. At some point, a random number of training Titans would appear out of the trees. To succeed the mission objective, the squad would have to take down the Titans within a minute and a half.

"Ready!" Erwin called. He waited for Moblit to give some last minute instructions to his newest recruits, then blew the whistle.

Erwin rode along to keep up with Moblit's squad. About a minute into their ride, two Titans appeared. Like a well-oiled machine, they sprang into action. Half the Scouts took one Titan, half of them took the other. The newest recruits had some trouble with the ODM gear, but the veterans covered for them. They finished just under the ninety-second mark. Success—but barely.

"Who's next?" Erwin called out to Hange, who stood nearby, scribbling on a notepad.

"Levi's squad," Hange called back.

"Bring them in."

Erwin watched Levi's squad gather into their formation. He was pleased to see, at least, that they had a formation, although it was unclear whether the structure was Levi's doing or the result of an unofficial coup d'état. From a distance, Erwin saw Levi ride across to Ari and Quinn. He said something to them, and they nodded, shifting positions.

Okay then, Erwin thought. Maybe it's Levi's formation after all.

Erwin blew the whistle, and the squad took off. As he rode alongside, Erwin examined their formation. Levi wasn't riding at the head, as squad leaders usually did, but along the side. The rest of his Scouts had formed a wedge-like shape to Levi's right, Dover riding at its head.

They had only been riding for maybe thirty seconds when the training Titans appeared. Four of them.

"The one on the far right!" Levi yelled. "Dover, go!"

As Levi grappled up into the trees, flipping up and over the head of the Titan on the far left, Dover swung up into the tree next to the Titan on the far right.

"Julia! Ari!" Levi shouted, slashing the nape of the left Titan and swinging across the gap to the next one. Ari and Julia swung around the base of the nearest tree, deliberately slashing through the empty air near the base of the training Titan.

What are they…? Then Erwin understood. If this were a real Titan, they would have cut through both of its Achilles tendons.

"Okay, now the rest of you!" At this point, Levi had taken care of the second Titan, and was already running up the arm of the third. The other Scouts grappled up into the trees. Three of them slashed at the Titan's wooden arms, another three dove at the painted eyes. Dover landed on the shoulders and slashed through the canvas nape.

A moment later, Levi pierced the last neck, bringing down the fourth training Titan.

"Sixty-two seconds," called out Hange.

A faint, almost hesitant cheer broke out among Levi's squad. They landed back on the ground, some of them grinning, many of them glancing uncertainly over at their leader, who had dropped back down beside them.

None of them had ever actually fought a Titan, Erwin realized. This was the closest they had ever come to facing the real thing—and here, at least, they had succeeded.

Levi stood a few paces away from his soldiers, all of whom were clearly still a little unsure whether they were supposed to be celebrating. By the look on his face, Levi was just as out of his depth as they were. Maybe he hadn't thought through what he was supposed to do if they made it this far.

His entire squad had made it. The Titans were dead. No casualties.

And he hadn't left anyone behind.

But Levi didn't walk over to his squad. He didn't clasp any shoulders or pat any backs. He struck an odd figure, Erwin thought, standing several feet away from his green-cloaked soldiers, eyes on the ground, arms crossed as if he didn't know what to do with his hands.

Erwin crossed over to Levi.

"No casualties," he said, quietly enough that the squad couldn't hear. "Sixty-two seconds. Good work."

Levi shrugged, refusing to make eye contact. "I didn't need them to kill that Titan. I could've taken all four."

"Levi…"

"And even if I couldn't," Levi interrupted, "I didn't need all of them. I was just making up jobs by the end. Once Dover had the nape, they didn't need to take out the legs, or the arms, or the eyes. There's just too damn many of them."

A cold gust of wind rushed through the forest. Levi shivered. Erwin frowned.

He still wasn't wearing his cloak.

Mid-November, 844

On November 13th, a twelve-meter broke a section of the wall—not enough of a hole for a Titan to squeeze through, but enough of a liability that the Survey Corps sent a three-squad team to fix it. Hange, Shadis, and Erwin each took a squad.

Hange's team fixed the broken wall. Erwin and Shadis covered her.

Shadis's squad took five casualties.

Everyone in Erwin's squad came home.

When they rode back through the gates, Erwin pretended that he couldn't hear the whispers, acted like he couldn't see the stares. Two leaders, two squads with equal experience, the same territory, the same mission objective. One of them brought all his soldiers home. The other one didn't.

Erwin knew what they were thinking. He was thinking it too.

Not yet.

November 23rd, 844

"I'm sorry, sir, but I don't want…"

"Julia," Erwin said, "I'm not asking you to tell on anyone. I just want to know what happened."

"Someone took his cloak, sir."

"Someone stole it?"

"Yes, sir. It wasn't me, sir."

"One of your squad, though?"

"Yes, sir." She paused. "I assumed he had reported it, sir."

November 28th, 844

"Levi," Erwin said with a sigh, "I can't say that I really understand this report."

Levi was back in his office. Erwin did not like how familiar this scene had become.

"What's there to understand?" Levi grumbled.

"For one, it was filed jointly by three section commanders, all of whom cited 'insubordination' as the reason for the complaint."

"So?"

"So how did you manage to show insubordinate behavior toward all three of them at once?"

Levi heaved a sigh. "You know the simulated expedition the other day?"

Erwin nodded. He had not actually been present for the simulation in question; he had spent the entire day in a mind-numbing meeting with Commander Shadis instead. But he had planned the training, so he knew the setup: The three section commanders, plus Hange, had been in charge of organizing the full regiment to cross from the east to the west side of the forest. The mission had been to get as many intact squads through the forest as possible, avoiding Titans whenever possible.

"I'm familiar," Erwin said.

"Lewis sent my squad along the south edge of the forest," Levi said. "I diverted north."

"Why?"

"Someone sent up a red flare." Levi sounded just as tired of sitting here in Erwin's office, explaining himself, as Erwin was of listening to Levi's explanations. "I took my squad to help."

Erwin rubbed his temples. He had a headache. "What was the mission objective?"

"We're supposed to limit casualties—"

"Do you remember what Section Commander Nayeri said in the mission brief?" Erwin asked. "You were specifically ordered not to divert your course for any reason. The mission objective was for as many intact squads as possible to make it from one end of the forest to the other."

"That's a stupid mission objective," Levi grumbled.

"Sometimes," said Erwin, "there are going to be casualties. Sometimes there will be a red flare, and you'll need to ignore it and ride straight ahead. That's why Section Commander Zion fired the flare in the first place—to see if any squad leaders would divert. Yours was the only squad that diverted—and when you encountered Section Commander Nayeri and you received orders to stand down, you continued to search for the source of the flare."

"You said you didn't understand the report," Levi grumbled. "It sounds like you understood it just fine."

"No, I don't understand how you showed insubordination to all three section commanders at once."

"Oh," said Levi. "They tried to 'debrief' me—and my team—in front of everyone after the training. After Lewis assigned a punishment to my whole squad, I said…some things that I guess were insubordination. But it was stupid to punish my squad too, like they don't already hate me enough."

"I thought things were going better with your squad," Erwin said.

"Not after today," Levi said bitterly.

"Okay," said Erwin. "Cleaning duty in the barracks for the next three weeks. You're dismissed."

"Can I—" Levi began, then stopped himself, then started again. "Can I do my squad's punishment too?"

Erwin raised an eyebrow. "Why?"

"I told them to divert. They just did what I ordered them to do."

"Fine," said Erwin. "You can clean the bathrooms and mess hall too."

He was running out of places for Levi to clean.

October 29th, 844

Three drinks in, and Erwin was laughing much more easily than he had been an hour ago. He hadn't come here to enjoy himself, but here he was, comfortably nestled in an antique armchair, trading old stories with a member of the Regiment Council. A small table sat between their two chairs, holding a bottle of gin and two glasses.

"Now, Erwin," Eli said, setting down his glass. "There is something I meant to ask you about, but…" He glanced around the noisy, bustling room, and his smile faded just slightly. "I wonder if you might take a walk with me?"

The freezing wind was like an assault launched on the two tall figures the moment they stepped into the nearly empty street.

"You know," said Eli, pulling his thick coat more carefully over his shoulders, "this really might be the coldest autumn I've ever seen."

Erwin nodded in agreement. They wandered down the street, turning toward the less populated sections of town, making small talk about the wind and the cold and the gin, although Erwin's mind was no longer on the conversation. As usual, he was waiting—waiting for someone else to speak first.

At long last, Eli coughed, paused expectantly for a moment, then glanced sideways at Erwin.

"I wanted to ask you about Commander Shadis," he said.

"Of course," Erwin replied evenly, trying not to let his face show any signs of the flicker of hope that had been lit in his chest.

"I—well, I've been keeping tabs on the Survey Corps. And it seems to me that they may not be living up to their full potential."

Erwin inclined his head. "We have a long way to go."

Eli stopped in his tracks and turned to his companion. His eyes were bright and earnest. "I'm going to be perfectly candid with you, Erwin, although I'd advise you not to repeat any of what I'm about to say."

Erwin nodded, but said nothing.

"I would say that everyone here knows you're Shadis's natural successor," Eli said, "but it isn't quite true. You have enemies here in the Capitol. People who are afraid that you haven't laid all your cards out on the table."

"Cards?" Erwin repeated slowly, trying to keep his voice low in case anyone was nearby.

"Many members of the council are concerned that you have personal goals that you have not yet shared. If something were to happen, and the Survey Corps needed a new commander—you might not have all the council votes that you need."

"They wouldn't confirm me," Erwin said. Half statement, half question.

"I don't know yet," said Eli. "But I'm willing to talk to the rest on your behalf. Except…"

He paused again.

"There are some of us," he said slowly, "who would like to see some long-term systemic changes, and if you have any ambitions that you haven't shared…"

"What kinds of ambitions?" Erwin asked. "Ambitions of being commander?"

"No," Eli said. "Systemic changes."

"Do you mean…the king?"

"Do I?" Eli shivered, crossing his arms to conserve the heat of his coat.

"If you think that I have any plans of disrupting the king's rule, then I—"

"If you don't have any such plans," Eli said quietly, "then there may not be anything I can do for you."

Erwin's breath caught. The treason hung in the air for a moment before the wind blew it away.

They were fine. Nobody could have heard.

"I think," Erwin said, lips barely moving, "that you can trust me to move in the direction that you're hoping for."

"Then I think," Eli replied, "that you can count on me."

December 5th, 844

"Issue him a new one."

"Sir, they're not supposed to lose their cloaks—those cloaks are expensive, there's a form, we have to go through a process—there are typically disciplinary measures for—"

"I'll handle it. Just issue him a new one."

December 6th, 844

Unable to sit still, Erwin paced around Shadis's office. He could sense his patience, so carefully manufactured, curated, and guarded, beginning to crack and fall apart.

"Sir, I agree with you," he insisted. "I just don't think the timing—"

"We're barely limping along as it is," Shadis interrupted. "We can't wait longer. We need funding for the spring—we need more support, and we can't get it without results."

"But January?" Erwin took a deep, shaky breath in, then let it out again before continuing. "I'm absolutely in favor of this expedition, sir, but with how cold it's been—Scouts are always at a disadvantage in the cold, you know that…"

The set line of Shadis's jaw betrayed his own frustration. "You've been training them in the cold for months. They're used to it by now."

"If the goal is survival—"

"We can't do a thing without funding, and you know it. That's what survival means. That's why I made you the head of training. You have another month. If they're not ready, make them ready."

Erwin almost broke, almost turned to Shadis and let every pent-up word spill out all over the floor like blood gushing from a Titan's neck. But he gathered himself instead, let the air hiss out through his teeth, and saluted his commander.

Not yet, he thought.

December 7th, 844

The first rays of the sun were just beginning to flame out above the horizon as the Scouts gathered in formation outside the training forest. Erwin scanned the crowd of soldiers, making a mental note of absences, feeling for the energy of the day. As his eyes passed over the last squad, he paused for just a moment when he reached a small figure draped in a forest green cloak.

The corners of Erwin's mouth turned up just slightly.

Levi looked up and met Erwin's eyes. For a second, Erwin thought he might just look away again.

Instead, almost imperceptibly, Levi nodded at him. Struck by a sudden rush of guilt, Erwin broke eye contact.

Levi didn't know what was coming.

None of them did.