Three years, ten months, and nineteen days later

The Titans were traveling north. There were hordes of them lumbering down through the scattered trees in the valley, climbing over the rocky outcroppings, growing smaller as they crested the hill, and finally disappearing out of sight on their twisting path toward Trost.

Toward the walls.

From his vantage point on top of the watchtower, Erwin craned his head, straining to see farther over the hill, but it was no good. At any rate, he didn't need to see any farther to confirm their trajectory.

There was only one possible reason for this many Titans to stumble north like moths to a flame.

He turned and ran back down the tower, taking the rickety wooden steps two at a time. Down in the moss-lined street, Erwin mounted his horse and spurred him into a gallop, his soldiers falling into line behind him as they rode back into the heart of the village.

He turned a corner. Just down the street, he caught sight of two green-cloaked soldiers kneeling next to a body.

Erwin added one to his mental list of casualties.

"Levi!" he called, reining in his horse. "We're pulling out!"

"Sir?" Petra asked, more a question than a confirmation of the order.

She had picked up a bad habit or two from her captain over these last few years.

Levi scowled. His right hand was coated in blood that Erwin could guess belonged to the dead Scout behind him. The soldier's death lingered still in Levi's eyes.

"What do you mean?" Levi asked. "You damn well know that we can push further. My men didn't die to pave our retreat."

Ignoring the outburst, Erwin explained. Levi's eyes widened.

It was happening again.

Jaeger was asleep.

Erwin watched him intently. He had been gripping the key so tightly in his palm that it had grown warm against his skin. He was sure that whenever he eventually let go of it, it would leave indentations in his palm.

"He really is just a kid," Levi said eventually, breaking the silence.

"And a Titan," Erwin said. "The key to everything. The best hope we have."

"Don't be melodramatic," Levi grumbled. "We don't know a damn thing about him."

"We know what the other two told you," Erwin pointed out, absentmindedly twisting the key's string around his fingers.

"You mean that Dr. Jaeger hid something in his basement back in Shiganshina? That the basement has some kind of secret that maybe, maybe, explains why the hell this kid can turn into a Titan?"

"Yes."

"All of that's just guesswork," Levi said, shaking his head. "The blond brat was very clear about that. We don't know if any of them are telling the truth, we don't know what's in the basement, we don't even know if this kid wants to be a Scout, and unless there's been a policy change I don't know about, we still only take volunteers."

"That's why we're here." Erwin leaned forward in his chair, turning the key over in his hands. "Besides, based on what those cadets told you, I think we can be fairly confident that our friend here will accept our offer."

"He might be lying. About everything. His dad's missing, he lost his memories—put together, isn't it all pretty convenient?"

"You know that I rely on your suspicion," Erwin said. "But I think that in this case, it is unwarranted. Eren Jaeger has every reason to despise the Titans, and no good reason to lie."

Levi sighed—but did not argue.

"Okay, let's say we believe him, and he wants to join us. What's our guarantee that he won't go all apeshit like he did in Trost? We know almost nothing about his abilities. What if nobody can control him in Titan form?"

"You can control him. That's why I'll give him to you," Erwin said. "As a gift. Happy birthday."

Levi did not laugh.

"You want to put him in my squad."

"I do."

There were several long seconds of silence. Levi stared at the ground, frowning, and Erwin waited. He knew what that face meant.

"What if I don't want him?" Levi asked after a moment.

"Levi," Erwin said, "surely you understand. If he loses control, if he becomes a threat, you are the only person I can trust to—"

"Kill him," Levi finished. "You want me to kill a kid."

There was a pause.

"Only if necessary," Erwin said softly.

"Yeah," Levi said. "Yeah, okay, sure. Fine."

I know I'm asking too much of you, Erwin thought. I always ask too much of you.

He might have said it out loud if not for the guards who stood nearby.

"I can try to think of another option," he said slowly, "but it might be—"

"No," Levi interrupted. "I'll do it."

"This isn't an order." Erwin looked over at Levi. "I'm asking."

"I know," Levi said. His eyes were on Eren, fast asleep in his cell. "I'm saying yes."

Erwin was painfully aware, not for the first time, that he had not yet found a limit for what Levi would do as long as it was Erwin asking.

"So once we have him," Levi continued briskly, as if nothing had happened, "what do we do with him?"

"We take him back to Shiganshina," Erwin said. "We retake Wall Maria. We discover the secret."

"Is that what you're going to propose to Zachary?"

"More or less. I'll embellish a little."

Erwin turned to Levi, whose face—despite the fact that he was standing while Erwin sat—was almost exactly at Erwin's eye level. A little ruefully, Erwin smiled before turning his gaze back to the cell.

"At any rate, we can deal with those details later. Our immediate problem is how to keep him out of the hands of the MPs."

Crossing his arms, Levi leaned back against the stone wall.

"Got any ideas?"

"One or two." Erwin glanced over at Levi. "The best one involves you."

"I'm listening."

Erwin watched the MPs force Eren to his knees and chain him in place. He listened to the arguments made by Nile Dok and his lackeys and was reminded of five years ago, when he and Levi had fought for the continued existence of the Scout Regiment in a courtroom just two doors down the hall. He presented his own proposal and fell silent again. He waited for the argument to heat up, he waited for the cultists to interject, he waited for the MPs to get angry.

He could sense Levi's tension next to him—his unspoken question.

Wait. Not yet.

Then Eren threw a tantrum. A soldier swung a rifle in Eren's direction, pointing the barrel directly at his face.

Now.

And Levi vaulted across the railing. In half a second, he had reached Eren Jaeger. He beat the shit out of the kid before grabbing his hair and holding him up like a trophy. One look at Nile's face and it was clear that the little act of theatre had paid off. Erwin knew the Scouts had gained custody before Zachary even opened his mouth.

Watching the scene, Erwin felt the corners of his lips turn up ever so slightly.

Still his attack dog.

"What is it you think you see? Who do you think the real enemy is here?"

Stricken, Eren looked up at him. Not even a hint of recognition. Erwin gave him another moment or two to think before backtracking.

"Ignore me," Erwin said, glancing away. "Loaded question."

He turned toward Levi, who stood waiting for him. His captain fell into step beside him as they strode out through the gate and into the courtyard. Hange's screams began to fade into the distance behind them as they turned to the right, crossed under the arched entryway, and into the castle grounds.

"Okay," Levi began as soon as they had stepped out of the courtyard, "so who the hell killed the—"

"We have a spy again," Erwin interrupted, eyes fixed on the grass beneath his feet.

Levi stiffened but didn't slow down.

"How do you know?" he asked in a low voice.

"Back at Trost," Erwin said, piecing together his own thoughts just as quickly as he could say them out loud, "the Colossal Titan broke through the outer gate. It was a repeat of Shiganshina—but not quite. The Armored should have reappeared and broken the inner gate as well. But he didn't. It stands to reason that something—or someone—got in the way of finishing the job."

Levi did not interrupt.

"Out of the two disasters, there is only one difference between Shiganshina and Trost. At Trost, Eren revealed his Titan form."

"But only military personnel knew about that," Levi pointed out.

"Yes," Erwin said. "Exactly. Either the Armored or Colossal, or both, or at least someone allied with them, must be hiding within the military."

"What does that have to do with Hange's Titans?"

"Hange's been experimenting. Learning Titan secrets. Whoever didn't want her to learn those secrets is, in all likelihood, allied with the Titans. My hypothesis is that it's someone like Eren—someone who can shift back and forth between Titan and human."

"Okay," Levi said slowly. "So we have to catch a spy. How do we narrow it down?"

"Not one of the veterans," Erwin said. He stared up at the sky, thinking. "It's someone who joined within the last five years. Anyone recruited after January 845 is a suspect."

Levi slowed down and then stopped. "You mean…my squad too."

"Yes." With a twinge of impatience, Erwin halted next to Levi. He couldn't think without walking. "Can we please—"

"Nobody in my squad is a traitor."

"We can't make exceptions," Erwin said. "You know that."

Levi pressed his lips together until they were a straight line.

"Fine," he said. "But you know none of them..."

"Yes," Erwin said. He was in a hurry to move on. "Yes, I know. I suspect someone from the 104th Cadet Corps, anyway."

"Why?"

"They're here." Erwin started walking again, and Levi followed grudgingly. "They joined in the wake of Shiganshina's fall. That seems like as good a place to start as any."

"So how do we root out the spy this time?" Levi asked. "Leave me out in the wilderness and fake my death again until someone tries to kill Eren?"

Erwin laughed.

"No, that won't be—"

Then he froze.

"Levi," he said. "Levi, that's it."

"You've got to be kidding me."

"No," Erwin said. "No, that's not what I meant. They want Eren."

"Yeah…?"

"If they know he's on the expedition, they'll come after him. We don't use you as the bait this time. We use him."

"But how do they know that Eren will be out during the expedition?"

"I'll have a chance to speak to the 104th at recruitment later today," Erwin said. "I'll make sure they know."

He had already started to turn back toward the castle when he paused suddenly.

"Levi," he said, "take Eren out on patrol tonight."

Levi frowned. "Why?"

"Just an idea." Erwin smiled. "We'll see if it works."

Erwin did not return to the castle after the recruitment ceremony. First, he was detained by a meeting with a supplier who was having trouble securing all the rations for the upcoming expedition. The result of this meeting was that Erwin was forced to travel to the interior. One thing led to another, and he ended up begging for funding at several different public functions. He may have lost most of his sanity and a good portion of his dignity, but in the end, he had managed to dredge up enough financial support for the expedition.

Just over three weeks had passed by the time Erwin managed to return. After leaving his horse in the stables, he set out around the castle. He stopped by the workroom to say hello to Hange, who gave him a frenzied, five-minute briefing on the experiments of the last three weeks before returning quickly to her microscope. He spoke briefly with Eld, Gunther, and Petra, who were teaching Eren how to play euchre. He ran into Petra on his way out through the main gate.

"Have you seen Levi?" Erwin asked.

"Oh," she said, her cheeks flushing a little. "I think he's out in the forest."

Levi was perched in a tree when Erwin found him, watching the sunset with a vaguely bored expression. Glancing around to make sure no one was looking, Erwin climbed the tree the old-fashioned way, scrambling carefully for hand and footholds among the knots and twisted branches. By the time he reached Levi, he was a little out of breath.

"Fat oaf," Levi said, shaking his head. "I should be training you with the rest of them."

"Not the kind of exertion I'm used to," Erwin admitted.

"What brings you out here?"

"Looking for you." Erwin swung a leg over Levi's branch, straddling it before gingerly laying himself backward onto the bark. The branch was just wide enough to support him, but not quite wide enough to be comfortable. If he tilted his chin upward just a little, he could barely see Levi's face peering down at him from where he sat nestled in the crook of the branch and the tree trunk.

"How's prepping for the expedition?" Levi asked.

"Fine." Erwin crossed his arms beneath the nape of his neck and closed his eyes, enjoying the last weak rays of warmth from the sun. "Dull."

"Dull?"

"The importance of the expedition doesn't make the logistics any more interesting. How is Eren?"

Levi paused, considering. "Not dull."

"I can imagine. Titans at teatime is a novelty, even for you."

"Yeah." Levi drew one leg up into his chest, letting an arm fall lazily over his knee. "He's not too bad though. As brats go, I mean."

"And you said you didn't want him," Erwin said with a small smile.

"Don't give me that shit," Levi replied, but without any real venom. "I wouldn't ever have picked him, not in a million years. There's a lot wrong with him. He's angry, impulsive—"

"But he worships you," Erwin added, "and he's eager to please."

Levi nodded. "Honestly, he reminds me of…"

He didn't finish, but Erwin had been thinking the same thing.

Dover. He's a lot like Dover.

"Except that he was smart," Levi added after a moment. "Eren's dumb as shit. He just makes up for it in…I don't know. Heart, or something."

"That sounds about right."

A light breeze blew through the woods, rustling the leaves. Somewhere out in the growing twilight, two birds were calling back and forth.

"I think," Levi said carefully, "that I might have found a way to stop Eren without killing him. If he loses control, I mean. I can't exactly practice ahead of time, but I'm pretty sure I can cut him out of the nape. It would hurt, but his limbs would grow back."

Erwin was silent for a moment. Leave it to Levi to talk a big game in the dungeon about trusting himself to kill Eren, and then to turn around and figure out a way to save him.

"You know," Erwin said eventually, "when I first dragged you into the Scouts, I thought I was doing it for the right reasons."

"You were," Levi interjected. "I was the best at killing. Killing Titans, killing people."

"Yes, well," Erwin said dismissively. "That was the wrong reason."

"What was the right one?"

"You're good at saving people. Better than anyone I know."

He paused.

"If anyone's the killer, it's me," he was tempted to add. He knew that Levi would understand what he was really saying and why. Truthfully, what he wanted was for Levi to berate him as usual for saying it, to lecture him about why it was necessary to catch this spy at all costs, to reassure Erwin in his own rough, profanity-laced way that the coming deaths were not his fault, but the fault of the Titans, the fault of the spy.

But the guilt of sending more soldiers to their deaths in just a few days was already weighing heavily on his shoulders. He did not want to add the guilt of burdening Levi, too—no matter how accustomed Levi was to that burden.

"You're a better man than I am," was all he allowed himself to say.

Even though Erwin wasn't looking at Levi, he could still hear the soft, disbelieving intake of breath above him.

"Idiot," Levi said.

Erwin half smiled. Efficient as ever, Levi had summed up the entire unspoken lecture in a single word.

But perhaps that word was not enough. Perhaps Erwin ought to have swallowed his pride and asked for the reassurance that Levi always gave him, because that night—for the first time in years—Erwin dreamed he was the falcon.

The expedition was a failure. The Female Titan escaped. Levi only barely managed to save Eren's life.

Erwin stared a soldier in the face and told him that his friend's body was lost forever, that they could not go back to find it, that they could not waste more lives over corpses.

It was cruel. It was also true.

When Erwin dismissed Levi's suggestion to circle back to the trees, when he gave the orders to continue on toward the walls, Levi took the command without argument. He fell back silently, and Erwin only found out later that he had ordered the bodies to be left behind so that the soldiers at the rear could live.

"I trust you implicitly," Levi had said back in the forest—a gentle, covert reminder that even though the plan had failed, even though the spy was still at large, Levi did not blame Erwin for the loss. But while Erwin was grateful for the show of faith, it didn't change any of the facts. They had almost certainly shattered whatever public support the Survey Corps had left. Premier Zachary and the Regiment Council would revoke the Scouts' custody of Eren. Erwin's strategy had failed, and they were in a worse position now than when they had started.

That night, Erwin worked his way through all the typical logistics that followed an expedition. Debrief the squad leaders, meet with the section commanders, give instructions for the storing of equipment, check on the state of the newest recruits, sign and seal the death notices. By the time he finished, the sun had already set.

Erwin didn't even try looking for Levi in his room or in the barracks. He passed by the sober gathering of Scouts in the mess hall, nursing tankards of cheap beer and sniffling quietly. After searching the dark grounds for only a few minutes, Erwin found him on the roof of the stables, tucked away and out of sight, wrapping his left ankle.

"What happened?" Erwin asked, sitting cross-legged beside him.

"Stupid," Levi muttered, wincing as he pulled the compression wrap tighter. "Should've been more careful."

His voice was strained, and he did not look at Erwin.

"Do you want me to—" Erwin began, already half reaching for the wrapping.

"I can wrap my own damn ankle," Levi snapped.

Silently, Erwin dropped his hands back into his lap. Levi kept his eyes on his work. He did not apologize, and that was fine.

"I saw you give Ivan's patch to Dieter," Erwin said. "That was a good thing to do."

Levi huffed in acknowledgement but said nothing.

"I saw you earlier, too," Erwin continued more softly. "When you took the patch. It wasn't Ivan's. It was Petra's, wasn't it?"

Levi's hands froze for half a second before they returned to their work. He gave no other indication that he had heard, except that now there was a very slight tremor in his fingers.

"Dieter was the reason we had to drop the bodies," Erwin said. It was a statement, but he meant it as a question, and Levi understood.

"He shouldn't have gone back," Levi muttered. "But I get why he did. We're all just—"

He swallowed his words abruptly. Erwin eyed Levi's ankle.

"You weren't limping," he said. "I didn't realize you were injured."

"Didn't want anyone to see."

"How bad is it?"

"What the hell, Erwin," Levi burst out, like steam escaping a boiling pot. "It's a fucking sprain. I'll be out for maybe a week. You're not going to lose your attack dog or scalpel or whatever it is they're calling me these days."

"Forgive me," Erwin interrupted gently. "That's not what I meant. Does it hurt badly?"

Erwin was asking about more than the sprain, and Levi knew it. He drew in a sharp breath. When he spoke again, his voice was a little choked, as though he were fighting to keep it under control.

"It's fine," he said. "I'm fine."

"You don't have to be," Erwin said simply.

The night was cloudy and starless, and even though it was dark enough that Erwin could not read his friend's expression, he could still hear the first broken, shuddering breath. A second followed, then a third.

"She's dead, Erwin," Levi finally said. "She's dead."

That was all he said, but he was crying in earnest now, and Erwin did not ask permission before moving closer and folding Levi into his arms, and it occurred to him distantly that both times he had seen Levi weep, the man had hidden his face—buried the first time in his own arms, and now again in Erwin's chest.

The failure was temporary, as it turned out—and now Eren's Titan screams were echoing in the distance, and Stohess was burning around them, and Erwin was staring down the barrel of a rifle.

He could sense Levi's whole body tensing up the moment that Nile lifted the gun. Despite his outward calm, Levi stood at Erwin's side like a firearm, cocked and ready to fire at a single word. With the smallest movement of his hand, Erwin motioned for Levi to stand down.

If Nile pulled the trigger, at least Erwin would have paid with his own life this time.

"Erwin," Nile hissed, "yourarrogance has brought hell right to our door."

"I know," Erwin replied.

Believe me.

"I acted entirely on my own authority," Erwin added, intently aware of Levi standing nearby, facing away, but ready to move at the slightest movement of Nile's finger on the trigger. "And I offer no excuses."

Nile lowered the gun. In two strides, he had grabbed Erwin by the collar and shoved him backward. Levi's arm twitched, as if to move, but Erwin lifted a finger, and he froze in place again.

"You knew what this would do to us, you son of a bitch," Nile spat. "You knew, and our lives be damned."

Don't forget mine, Erwin thought wearily. My life too.

"Why?" Nile asked. "Damn you, why?"

"For humanity," Erwin replied, although the words felt tired on his tongue. "For victory."

"Don't give me that!"

Nile shoved the gun back into Erwin's face.

"You're nothing but a traitor. I ought to kill you right here and now. None of the higher-ups would fault me."

Levi watched intently out of the corner of his eye.

"Do as your conscience dictates," Erwin said. It probably sounded like a bluff—yet another gamble from the infamous gambling commander. Maybe it was, but maybe it wasn't.

If Nile was about to kill him, then so be it.

"My post is yours," he said evenly. "The Female Titan must not escape. Deployment is through Peer, and Beirer is in command of provisions. Work with them closely. Do whatever is required to ensure she doesn't—"

But Nile interrupted—with words rather than a gunshot.

Some small part of Erwin was disappointed.

He heard the rest as if from far away. He was being arrested. He would face the high court. He thanked Nile placidly, assured him that he would accept the court's judgment, whatever it was.

Levi started to walk forward, as if to get inside the carriage. Erwin snapped back into the real world.

"Levi," he said.

Levi stopped and looked up at him, uncertain.

"For now, stay here. A pointless death wouldn't suit you."

"No," Levi said, a hint of bitterness coloring his voice. "I doubt it would." Levi's eyes were fixed pointedly on Erwin's. "Any more than it suits anyone else."

Sometimes Erwin wondered if Levi could read his mind.

It would explain a lot.

"Fuck right off."

"Levi."

"I'm serious."

"So am I."

Erwin was throwing things into a pack, refusing to look at Levi as he did. They didn't have the time to have this argument right now. Outside the office window, someone was shouting. Horse hooves were beating against the street. Soldiers—Scout, Garrison, and Military Police alike—were hurrying toward the gates.

"You're going to take our already decimated forces and run off to fight both the Armored and Colossal and you're asking me to stay here." Levi crossed his arms, eyes narrowed and defiant. "There is absolutely no fucking way."

"You're injured."

Erwin pulled open a drawer, retrieved his notebook, and threw it into the pack before fastening it closed.

"It's a sprain."

"I never take injured soldiers outside the walls," Erwin said, exasperated, slinging the small pack over his shoulder and leaning back against the windowsill. "What makes you think I'll take you?"

"Because I'm me, damn it." Levi took a step forward. "I can fight."

"You're not a god, Levi, whatever they say." Erwin ran a hand through his hair, glancing out the window. He was painfully aware of every second that passed. "You'll be slower than normal. You'll break the ankle, then you'll push too far, then you'll—"

He cut himself off.

"No," he said brusquely. "I don't have time for this conversation. You're not going."

"I'm not your underling."

"Maybe you've forgotten," Erwin said, already halfway across the room, "but that is exactly what you are."

Levi grabbed Erwin's arm as he passed, yanking him back from the door.

"If this is some sentimental bullshit about protecting me—"

"Sentimental?" Erwin spun around to face Levi. "Like it or not, you really are humanity's strongest soldier, you're irreplaceable, and if we lose you, then we don't have a prayer in hell of winning this war, so please don't do me the disservice of accusing me of sentiment."

Staring at Levi's darkened eyes, Erwin felt himself softening slightly.

"You also happen to be quite important to me," he said. "And I don't know what I would do without you, so keep your damn promise and stay here."

Erwin pushed the door open, leaving Levi looking stricken—but he would follow the orders, Erwin was certain, and that was all that mattered.

When the Titan's teeth sank into Erwin's arm, severing two thirds of the way through flesh and artery and bone, three thoughts flashed through his mind, all at the same time.

The first thought was that he was still the man in the crowd, and he must not show any sign of pain, not even a hint, even though the agony of spurting blood, of cracking bone, of splitting skin threatened to explode out through his eyes, through his skull. Eren Jaeger was right in front of them. Without Eren, humanity had no hope of defeating the Titans. Give everything for humanity. Your heart and soul to the cause.

He screamed out something to this effect.

The second thought was that this was going to kill him. He was going to die out here on this field, and this realization was a balm for his fear, rather than a source of it. A strange kind of peace flooded his body, soothing the throbbing hell in his arm like a painkiller. At last, the falcon had been permitted to offer up his own beating heart.

The third thought was that Levi would weep for him.

Of the three, only this thought gave him a small twinge of regret.

But Erwin did not die. He woke a week later to the morning sun streaming through the window, dust particles floating in the rays of light, and Levi asleep in the windowsill.

The image was so familiar that for a moment or two, he racked his brain in a panic, trying to remember what their latest commission from the Regiment Council was. Had they finished that scouting report up north? Had he already sent the Abnormal documentation to Premier Zachary?

Erwin grabbed a fistful of the sheets, trying to push himself up out of bed—but only one hand met the mattress, and he threw himself off balance, a rush of agonizing pain coursing into his right shoulder.

And he remembered when and where he was.

At Erwin's involuntary cry of pain, Levi woke with a start. When he had already risen halfway out of the windowsill, he met Erwin's eyes and paused. He blinked twice, catlike, then slowly lowered himself into a wooden chair beside the bed. His face was expressionless.

"Replaceable," he said.

"It's good to see you," Erwin said, his voice coming out as a rasping whisper.

"You told them you were replaceable." Levi's expression was impassive, dangerously so. "Is that true?"

Erwin thought back to the haze of the battlefield, to the mist of pain and blood loss.

"I guess it is," he said.

Levi opened his mouth, and Erwin braced himself for the dressing-down he was about to receive—but after a moment, Levi sighed and let his mouth fall shut again.

"I'm glad you're alive," he said quietly. "So I'll kill you later."

"Thank you," Erwin said, and he meant it.

"I have painkillers for you," Levi said, reaching down underneath his chair and grabbing a small, rattling bottle. "But you can't take more for another half hour."

Erwin winced, eyeing the bottle longingly. "Are you sure…?"

"Yes."

Erwin knew there would be no arguing.

Pyxis arrived about an hour later; Hange and Connie followed soon after. First Connie spoke, and then Hange, and slowly, some small portion of the truth that Erwin had been hunting for twenty-eight years began to creep across the plain of his mind like a sunrise.

"In other words," he blurted out, "the true forms of Titans…are actually humans."

Erwin—the only one who knew all the inner corners of Levi's soul, the only person who could identify even the tiniest shifts in Levi's stoic face—should have seen the exact moment when Levi's heart broke.

But he wasn't thinking about Levi. He was thinking about his father.

The humans turn into Titans. The Titans turn into the walls.

He didn't even realize that he was smiling until Levi asked him what he was smiling about. Levi's voice was so disturbed, so repulsed, that a red-hot sliver of shame instantly pierced his chest. He tried to play it off, to steer the conversation away from his own inhumanity. He tried joking, appealing to Levi's pity.

"Don't you feel sorry for me at all, after I got one of my arms eaten?"

A small, humorless laugh escaped Levi.

"Perhaps," he said, but Erwin wasn't at all sure that the hard pity in Levi's eyes was just for his arm.

They dismissed Connie. The rest kept talking through the discovery, turning the new information over and over, until Levi reminded the group, not at all gently, that Erwin was still recovering.

Pyxis and Hange left. Levi stood at the window, watching them go.

"I shouldn't have smiled," Erwin said abruptly.

"Yeah," Levi said. Without looking at Erwin, he reached down for the bottle of painkillers. "You should take these now."

"I mean it," Erwin said. "It isn't a good thing. I know that."

"You were in a coma for a week, and you're so drugged up it's a wonder you can see straight," Levi said gruffly. "It's fine."

"I didn't—"

"Let it go, Erwin."

So he did, but it didn't make him feel any better. He took the pills that Levi offered him, and he gave in to Levi's grumpy instructions to sleep a little more, but only after extracting his promise to wake Erwin after an hour or two.

He had too much to think about. Besides, he had decided that he needed to talk to Hange today—in private, without the others.

Obediently, Levi shook Erwin awake sometime in the early afternoon. He offered two more pills, which Erwin took, and some tea and soup, which Erwin ate. As he sipped the tea, Erwin caught sight of his reflection in the window. He frowned.

"Can you bring me my razor?"

Levi disappeared and reappeared a minute or two later with a drawstring bag and a small bowl of water. He set the water on the bedside table and handed the bag to Erwin. Automatically, Erwin tried to reach for it with both hands. His left arm moved obediently, but his right arm spasmed in a sudden, violent ache just before Erwin remembered that such pain was impossible. The arm wasn't there.

Erwin took the bag in his left hand and tried to open the drawstring. On the first attempt, he dropped the bag into his lap. He fumbled the bag again on his second try before finally managing to pry the top open with shaking fingers.

Silently, Levi returned to his seat, watching Erwin struggle.

Erwin pulled his razor, a small tin of cream, and a mirror out of the bag. He propped the mirror up on the bed and tried to twist the tin open, but he couldn't hold the base steady enough to get a firm grip on the lid. When he squeezed the tin between his knees, trying to get enough traction to twist the lid, he gripped too hard, and the tin went flying before it clattered onto the floor.

Wordlessly, Levi retrieved the tin, opened it, and set it down next to Erwin.

Erwin should have thanked him, but he could feel the embarrassment flushing his cheeks, and instead he reached inside the tin and dabbed the cream over his prickly face to hide the red glow he knew was spreading there.

He dipped his razor into the bowl of water and lifted the blade to his face. Half an inch away from his skin, he stopped. He had never tried to shave with his left hand before. A wave of frustration washed over him. He tried to will his hand to stop shaking, but to no avail.

"I didn't get a chance to tell you about my new squad," Levi said suddenly. Confused, Erwin glanced over at him. "They're all recruits, all from the 104th."

As he spoke, Levi rose and sat down on the bed in front of Erwin. Firmly, but not roughly, he took the razor out of his commander's hands, and then Erwin understood.

"Of course there's Eren," he said, "even though he's fucking stupid. Mikasa, obviously—I would've picked her anyway, even without her inexplicable devotion to that little asshole."

He talked nonchalantly as he worked, giving no indication or acknowledgement of what his hands were doing.

"I took that weird little blondie, Armin, and horse face, and hungry girl, and the guy with the weird hair. They're all good with the gear. Quick. Survivors. But the main thing is that Eren cares about them, and given how hard it's been for him to transform, I figured that if we're out in the field and one of them is in danger—"

He paused, frowning at Erwin's face, cleaning up the edges with small, quick strokes.

"It's not a nice reason to throw them together," he said slowly. "But I think it's the best option."

Levi stood up, grabbed a hand towel off the end of the bed, and handed it to Erwin, who took it wordlessly and wiped his face before glancing in the mirror. As always, Levi's work was neat, tidy, and perfectly clean.

Without asking, Levi sat back down, reached out, and began to button Erwin's shirt. At first, he was quiet. Then, after two or three buttons, he spoke again.

"A lot of people have died," he said. "In the 57th expedition, in your charge last week. And if Hange's right, if the Titans are…"

Another button.

"I'm just saying—this truth you're trying to find. At this pace, we'll run out of people before we actually reach it. Not a good rate of return."

Over the next month, whenever Erwin thought back on this moment, he added progressively more and more items to a list of all the things he should have done differently. He should have thought back to the broken look on Levi's face when he had first realized what Hange was saying. He should have understood that just this once, Levi had reversed their roles—that he was asking for reassurance from Erwin. He should have remembered that Levi was not a god, that he was not invulnerable. He should have recognized that his friend was in pain.

But Erwin was in pain too, and his whole body ached, and guilt ate at his insides, and damn it, he was the one who had lost an arm, wasn't he?

"Everything comes at a price," he snapped. It was the voice he always used in the crowd. "One day we'll get close enough to break through. The wall barring us from the truth will tumble."

Erwin waited for Levi to come to his senses, to apologize, to back Erwin up like he always did.

"A price," Levi repeated instead, and his disdain was palpable. "Yeah. Okay."

Erwin rolled his eyes. He knew he was being rude. He would fix it later, but right now, he was too irritated to care.

"Can you go get Hange?" he asked.

Without another word, Levi left. Five minutes later, Hange knocked and entered.

"Levi said you wanted to see me," she said, closing the door. "What's going on?"

"Do you have a few minutes?"

"Yeah, of course." She sat down on the end of the bed. "What is it?"

"We need to talk logistics. You know that we find most of our suppliers through connections with the merchants guild, right?"

"Uh," she said, clearly at a loss for words. "I guess?"

"That's good for equipment—ODM gear, uniforms, that sort of thing. It's all standard issue, easy to get. But the food suppliers are trickier—they have to ship the rations farther, which drives up the price."

"Okay," Hange said, staring at Erwin as if he had suddenly grown horns.

"We have contracts," Erwin continued, "with several private farms just south of Ehrmich district—they give us a good bargain in exchange for steady business. I don't have my papers right now, but I'll show you the list once I do."

"Wait," she said. "Wait, Erwin. Why are you telling me all this?"

Erwin regarded her calmly for a moment.

"I nearly died," he said finally. "Frankly, it's a miracle that I did not."

He fell silent, as if this were answer enough.

"Yes," she said slowly after a second or two. "But I don't understand what that has to do with—"

"If anything happens to me," Erwin interrupted, "someone needs to know these things. Someone will need to replace me."

Hange's eyes widened.

"You mean…Erwin…that I'm…"

"You are one of the candidates," Erwin said matter-of-factly. This was not true. Hange Zoë was the only conceivable option—the only person with the brains and strategic prowess to follow in Erwin's footsteps. But Erwin did not want her to know this yet. He did not want her to worry.

After all, Erwin might live for many years yet.

"But why?" Hange pressed.

"There are only two people in the Survey Corps whom I trust absolutely," Erwin said. "One is Levi, and the other is you."

For a long time, Hange sat in what appeared to be stunned silence. This was so unlike her that Erwin began to wonder whether he had said something wrong.

"When you say you trust me, what do you mean?"

"I mean that you are direct," Erwin replied, "that you are both responsible and intelligent, that you make excellent command decisions, that I can rely on you, that you do not keep unnecessary secrets, and that I can trust you to be transparent with me. That is what I mean."

Hange did not look particularly flattered by this assessment of her. Instead, she looked—strangely enough—like she might be sick.

"And you think the same thing about Levi?" she asked.

"I do."

"Why?"

Surprised at the question, Erwin lifted his eyebrows a little. "I'm afraid that's between myself and Levi."

"Sorry, Erwin," she said. There was an unfamiliar tone to her voice, something Erwin could not quite read. "I really do need to know."

Erwin studied her face, considering what he could safely tell her.

"Levi told me everything he ever did," he said finally. "And he made me a promise once—long ago, before I promoted him to captain. He swore that he would always tell me the truth."

"Oh," Hange said in a strangled voice.

An uneasy feeling had begun to settle into Erwin's stomach.

"Hange," Erwin said, "what's wrong?"

"Um." She pressed her lips together, eyes bright behind her glasses. "Nothing."

A bit uncertainly, she rose, glancing back at the door.

"Can I go?" she asked.

As Erwin stared at her, considering whether or not to tell her no, something in her face cleared. She shook her head.

"No," she said. "No, never mind. Sorry, I just…there's just…"

"Hange, what the hell?"

"There's just," she said again, then stopped. She stared at Erwin, hard, like she was trying to read his mind. Then she tried again, more controlled. "There's something I haven't told you."

Erwin waited for her to continue.

"Not like a personal thing," she said. "A Scout thing. Something I'd normally tell you, except—" A worried look passed over her face. "You have to promise you won't get mad at him."

The anxious sensation in Erwin's stomach turned cold. It began to work its way up into his chest.

"I know we fight, but I really do love him a lot, and he can't help being what he is—"

"Hange," Erwin interrupted. "What are you talking about?"

"Okay," she said. "You know when we were in the Capitol for that ceremony? I mean years ago, after we'd herded all that livestock for the council."

The inside of Erwin's body ran cold, but the bedroom suddenly felt ten degrees warmer.

"The night before the ceremony, I was walking through the northern district. You know, near the palace."

"You weren't," Erwin said. "You were playing euchre upstairs."

"No, after that." A little nervously, Hange twisted a strand of hair in her fingers. "It was probably half past one, maybe as late as two. I'd found this cool rock earlier, but I didn't have my microscope, and I have a friend at the university up north, so I went to see if he happened to be awake, and I was passing by one of the houses on Wenton Street, and I saw someone climbing down from the roof without ODM gear."

She paused.

"It was Levi."

Everything slowed down. Each second seemed to last a minute, an hour, a day.

"This happened at two in the morning the night before the ceremony?" Erwin asked, taking great care to keep his tone perfectly even, perfectly controlled.

"Yeah," Hange said, watching Erwin's face intently and looking like perhaps she was beginning to regret her decision to bring the memory up at all. "He saw me…and we had a little talk…in the alleyway."

"A talk," Erwin repeated.

"Right," Hange said. "The house he was coming out of, it was—"

"—Elijah William's house," Erwin finished.

"Yes." Hange looked down, no longer meeting Erwin's eyes. "Please don't blame him. I'd rather you blame me than him."

"What did he tell you?"

"He told me what he'd done, said the news would get out by morning anyway. He asked me not to tell you. Threatened me, actually, then begged when the threats didn't work. I don't think I've ever seen him that desperate."

"And you agreed," Erwin said flatly.

"He'd already done it, Erwin," Hange said, half defensive, half pleading. "Telling you wasn't going to do anything except endanger you."

"It's fine, Hange," Erwin said.

"Really?" Some of the usual brightness returned to Hange's cheeks. "You aren't angry?"

"Oh, I'm angry," Erwin said evenly. He pushed the blankets away and stood, swaying a little before catching his balance. "But not with you."

"Erwin," Hange blurted, reaching out for him. "You shouldn't get up yet—the medic said—"

"Damn the medic," Erwin hissed. "Damn it all."

The walls spiraled around him as he stumbled down the hall, ignoring the distressed pleas of Hange, who trailed along behind him. At the top of the stairs, he fell straight into a soldier who looked very surprised to find himself suddenly holding his commander up on his feet.

"Where's Captain Levi?" Erwin growled.

"Sir," the soldier replied, looking somewhat terrified, "I just saw him downstairs in the war room—"

Less than a minute later, Erwin threw the war room doors open. He nearly fell over as he staggered inside the room. On the other side of the long conference table, talking to Pyxis and three other soldiers, was Levi. All of them turned toward the door, startled at Erwin's entrance.

"Erwin, what the hell are you—" Levi began.

"Captain," Erwin said, collapsing against the chair nearest him. He pressed his white knuckles down into the chair's back to hold himself in place. Gritting his teeth, he shut out the dull screams of the wounds on his right side. "We need to talk."

"Why are you—"

"Now."

Levi's gaze flitted up and over Erwin's shoulder. Without turning around, Erwin could picture Hange's look of apology. A blank, resigned expression fell over Levi's face.

"Not in front of everyone," he said.

"Levi—"

"Damn it, Erwin, we're not doing this here."

Uncertain glances bounced around the room. Erwin heaved a frustrated sigh.

"Then follow me."

Levi was silent as he followed Erwin back to his office. As they climbed the flight of stairs and rounded the corner, Erwin managed to keep the building rage stuffed inside his chest, like a deadly weapon kept inside a lockbox.

Then he opened his office door, Levi stepped inside, Erwin slammed the door, and the box flew open.

"You killed him."

"Erwin…"

"You killed Elijah William."

"Yeah." Levi turned around, crossing his arms and leaning back on the desk. "Sit down. Please."

"You will not tell me what to do."

"You're going to pass out," Levi said calmly. "Sit down."

Shaking with rage, but unable to deny Levi's assessment, Erwin grabbed the chair by the desk, dragged it backward, and dropped heavily down into the seat. He stared up at Levi's maddeningly emotionless face.

"Hange told you."

"Yes, obviously Hange fucking told me."

Levi's eyes were fixed on Erwin, and for a moment, their glassy exterior faltered—as if despite all appearances to the contrary, he really wasn't sure what to do or say.

Erwin took the opportunity to seize back control of the conversation.

"You're going to explain everything to me," Erwin growled. "Right here and now."

"Here's the thing," Levi said. "I'm not really sure what you want me to explain. I killed Elijah William. Now you know. What more do you want from me?"

"I ordered you not to kill him," Erwin said, raising his voice a little as if to drown out Levi's infuriating calm. "I gave you clear orders."

"Yeah," Levi said. "You did."

"You made a goddamn promise." Erwin gripped the armrests on his chair. The room was spinning around him. "Right before I promoted you, you swore that you would follow my orders, that you would never lie to me."

"I did," Levi shot back. His eyes flashed, and for the first time, his composed demeanor showed signs of cracking. "And I guess you haven't noticed, but I've been breaking my back to keep that promise for five whole fucking years."

"Except the night when you went behind my back and committed murder!" Erwin exploded. "You exploited my trust when you damn well felt like it, so don't give me that shit!"

"He deserved to die!"

Levi's voice had risen nearly to a shout. He bit his lip and closed his eyes, as if thinking better of it. When he opened them again, Levi was once again in control of himself.

"Why?" Erwin snarled.

Levi shrugged, and Erwin felt an overwhelming surge of loathing rush over him. He hated Levi suddenly for the nonchalance, the ease of the gesture.

"You're the one with all the big, complicated strategies," Levi said. "You're the one who thinks five steps ahead. I don't work like that. You gave me three free hours. I saw the opportunity and I took it."

"That wasn't my question."

"Look, it's not that hard." Levi scowled, and he might as well have been five years younger, trying to defend himself in Erwin's office back at headquarters. "Hundreds of Scouts were dead because of him. Dover and Julia were dead because of him. You were practically dead because of him. He needed to die, so I killed him."

"You told me you were with Petra," Erwin interrupted. "You looked me in the eye and swore you didn't kill him. You said you were with Petra."

"Holy shit," Levi erupted, "of course I wasn't with Petra! Even if she'd begged me, you really think I'd let her risk her whole future by having sex with her commanding officer? She was the only person I meant to tell—I never would have told anyone at all if I hadn't needed you to believe my alibi."

"I cannot believe you were so selfish that you—"

"Selfish?" Levi's voice had risen to a fever pitch. "I was fucking in love with her, Erwin, and I had to look her in the eye and tell her that, all so she would back up my stupid alibi so that you wouldn't know anything and nobody could implicate you, so don't fucking tell me I was being selfish!"

"Nobody made you kill him!" Erwin jumped back up to his feet. "I ordered you not to kill him!"

"You want to talk about killing?" Levi pushed himself up off the desk, facing Erwin, both his hands clenching into fists. "How many deaths are you responsible for now, Erwin? Or have you stopped counting by now?"

"Shut up!" Erwin bellowed. "Shut up!"

"You kill Scouts, you kill civilians, and you smile,because all you care about is your own goddamn crusade to prove your father right so you can stop feeling guilty that you killed him too—"

Erwin lunged at Levi—took a swing at him—but Levi dodged effortlessly. Thrown off balance, Erwin stumbled into the desk. Now Levi stood near the door, staring darkly down at Erwin.

"Asshole," Erwin snarled.

"You're overreacting," Levi said, his voice low and dangerous.

"Overreacting?" Erwin leaned on the desk, steadying himself with his one hand. "How am I ever supposed to trust you again? You broke both your promises, you disregarded my orders, you lied to me and kept it a secret for years, you knew I'd protect you and you took advantage of it—"

"Protect me?" Levi let out a sudden, harsh laugh. "Out of the two of us, which one is so fucking weak that he needed someone to sleep in his room for three months to make sure—"

"I didn't ask you to do that!" Erwin erupted.

"Yeah, well, what else was I supposed to do? I ignored my squad for weeks because I was too busy taking care of an overgrown baby who couldn't handle his own shit."

"Oh," Erwin said, a tight rage constricting his throat. "Of course. It's just too bad that you had to stop fucking your favorite subordinate for a month or two—"

"I never touched Petra!" Levi shouted, his face turning bright red. "For five whole years, I lived like a motherfucking monk!"

"You expect me to believe that too?" Erwin turned away, rolled his eyes. "You forced her to risk her career, her reputation—when it benefited you, you weren't afraid to drag Petradown into the shit with you."

"She's fucking dead, Erwin, if you say her name one more time—"

Erwin whirled around and locked eyes with Levi.

"It wasn't enough for you to commit murder," he said deliberately. "You had to make Petra Ral your bitch too."

In the blink of an eye, Levi lunged at Erwin. His back slammed against the wall. A stabbing pain shot up his spine.

Levi's hands were wrapped around his throat.

Erwin stiffened as Levi's fingers tightened—not enough to block off Erwin's air completely, but just enough to make it hard to breathe, to make it hurt.

Rat. Thug. Dog.

You think too much of him.

All at once, it struck Erwin that the hands around his throat had snapped bones in half, ripped faces off human skulls, left monsters dead and bleeding, murdered Elijah William in cold blood. The thought sent an involuntary jolt of panic rippling down his body.

It lasted only for a moment, and then it was gone, but Levi must have seen it in his eyes, because his grip on Erwin's throat loosened just a little.

One look at Levi's face, and Erwin knew he was hurt. Erwin had hurt him. He had not done it on purpose, but he felt a thrill of satisfaction anyway. So the man was not invincible. He could be wounded after all.

"You're afraid of me," Levi said slowly.

No. He wasn't. Whatever his momentary reaction had been, he knew that Levi would never, never do him any real harm.

But too much pressure had built up inside his skull, and it needed to escape somewhere, and he wanted desperately to hurt Levi again.

"You were slitting throats at six years old," Erwin spat. "Of course I'm afraid of you."

Levi dropped his hands. All the air rushed out of Erwin's lungs as he fell forward. Thrown off balance by his missing arm, he nearly dropped to the floor, just barely managing to catch himself at the last second. He grabbed at his right shoulder, and his hand came away wet and warm with blood. His stitches were loose.

Crossing his arms, Levi took a step back.

"Fine," he said. His voice was dangerously soft. "Give me your orders then."

Erwin blinked.

"What?"

"That's what you've always wanted, isn't it? For me to shut up and take your orders and be whatever you want me to be? So go ahead." Levi took another step back, sweeping into a low and mocking bow as he did. "Tell me what to do, sir. Commander. My lord and fucking master. Your wish is my goddamn command."

Red hot pressure boiled behind Erwin's eyes. He could barely see straight.

"Get out," he said.

"Gladly."

And Levi stormed out, slamming the door behind him.