Appreciation vs Understanding
(In response to a comment following the recently posted interview video. The comment was that Ben appreciates the AS&J fans but doesn't really understand just why they are so loyal.)
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Yawning and dressed in a pink terrycloth bathrobe with matching slippers, one of which having a hole chewed into the toe, Kate stepped out into the predawn darkness with four month old Murphy tugging frantically at the leash.
"Oh." she said with a start seeing one all too familiar and undeniably handsome blond cowboy sitting on the steps. "Why are you sitting out here in the dark, Kid?" she asked and sat down on the steps beside him while Murphy searched for the perfect spot to do his business.
Kid shot her a dubious glance. How many times had she whined and complained about him walking in unannounced at all hours of the day and night. Maybe that cute little pup was bringing out a more genteel side of her, one he had never seen before. The thought was confirmed when Murphy came bounding up with his tail wagging furiously, expecting a treat for having watered a little patch of grass, and Kate reached into her robe pocket and presented him with the tiniest little bone shaped treat. Murphy chewed and swallowed the treat in two seconds flat, then dashed off determined to earn another tiny delectable.
"It's still a little chilly to be sitting out here for very long," she said observantly.
"Don't feel cold to me. Of course I'm wearing a Henley and long johns under my clothes. What have you got on under that robe?"
"None of your business!" she replied and he realized her natural snippy attitude still lay very close to the surface.
"No need to get proddy, Kate. That ain't why I'm here anyway."
"Care to explain why you are here, and could we maybe take this inside where the neighbors can't watch from their windows?"
Kid stood up and offered Kate a hand. She gave the leash a tug and Murphy came running.
"Thank you," she said, not wanting to admit that her aging bones and muscles were quite grateful for the assistance. "Let's go in the kitchen and I'll fix us some coffee."
Once in the kitchen, Kate placed the child gates in front of the doors, then freed Murphy from the bonds of the leash. Kid looked at the wooden slates of the child gates and frowned.
"This room is some sort of a puppy prison?" he asked. "You shouldda just named the poor little guy Outlaw."
"You're being critical of my parenting skills?' she asked sarcastically as she filled the kettle with water.
"Wouldn't dream of doing that, Kate. Sorry if that's the way it came across."
While still collecting the water, Kate turned from the sink with a very concerned look on her face. "Something really is bothering you, isn't it Kid, because being critical of me is something that you come by quite naturally."
Kid nodded but didn't explain.
Kate startled as the water over flowed the kettle and ran over her hand and she quickly turned her focus back to what she was doing. Pouring a bit of water out of the kettle, she carried the kettle to the stove and turned the knob to light one of the burners. She then gathered her robe and sat down in a chair across the table from Kid. "So what is bothering you?"
"It's them two alter egos again. Maybe it's living in different centuries and them only pretending to be Heyes and me, but sometimes I really don't understand what they are even talking about."
"And what is it you don't understand this time?"
"Well, I was visiting another writer the other day. You know, the one that's always hurting me..."
Kate knew exactly who he was referring to as she and the other writer often had long conversations about both Kid and Heyes. "And?" she asked.
"And she she was talking about a conversation them two alter egos had about all the hoopla you women, and even a few men make over them."
"Well they did and still do receive a lot of adulation."
Kid nodded. "And the one that looks like me said he appreciated all that love and support, but he sure didn't understand it."
"And you disagree with that?"
"Oh, no. I know just what he's saying... I don't understand it either."
The kettle began to whistle and Kate handed Kid the jar of instant coffee and got up to bring the kettle to the table. When she turned back to the table she watched as Kid poured his fourth teaspoon of instant coffee into his mug. "You like your coffee strong, do you?" she asked.
"You ever had Heyes' coffee, Kate?"
"No."
"His coffee can cut through rock."
"I see," Kate replied and added the boiling water to Kid's cup, then fixed herself a far less eye opener cup and returned to her seat to help Kid sort things out.
"Don't he play that game with the fancy bat and the bouncing ball on them smooth green rocks with a fishing net strung across the middle?
Kate smiled at Kid's description of a tennis court, but confirmed his query. "It's called tennis, and yes, he does, and he's very good at it, but it takes a lot of practice.
"Heyes says it's a rich man's waste of time and in our day it's played on hand cut grass lawns and all the men wear sissy looking white linen pants. Ain't none of them ever heard of grass stains?"
"Well, it's still considered a gentleman's game of sorts, but it's quite competitive in this day and age. Although women play just as competitively as men now. True champions can become very rich playing tennis, but they have to practice and train for hours every day. Why, I've heard your alter ego sometimes practices as much as eight hours a day."
"So, he thinks of that prancing around and trying to hit the other fella with that ball and fancy bat, in the same the way them fans think about me and Heyes and always wanting to know about us out running posses and keeping from going to prison?"
"I'd say that's a pretty fair comparison. It's almost like an obsession."
"An obsession?' Kid asked.
Kate nodded. "You know, something that is always on your mind. You eat, sleep, drink thinking about it twenty-four hours a day. You plan your life around it."
"Like amnesty?"
"That's one example."
"So for our own reasons, me and Heyes, and the alter ego men, and all them admiring women, are all on the same obsessive merry-go-round," Kid astutely observed.
Kate sighed, being a part of this chain of obsession was simply something beyond her control. "I suppose so."
"So, if you, me, Heyes, and all the fans understand it, how come that alter ego fella don't understand it?"
"Well for him, tennis was more of a career move, a rational decision you might say."
"Amnesty was a rational career move for Heyes and me."
"That's true," Kate replied, realizing that perhaps it was just the admiring fans who were the irrational ones, falling head over heels in love with two fictitious cowboys and the alter egos who brought them to life in the twentieth century, and also coming to understand why the blond alter ego appreciated but didn't understand the strange phenomena. "I never looked at it that way before, and I hate to admit it, but... I suppose he is right. All the adulation is flattering but not really rational. Oh dear me!" Kate exclaimed with some alarm. "Are we all not just fans but...fanatics?"
"Aw Kate, I didn't mean to make you look inside yourself. I ain't even trained to help you do that. Maybe we should stop right here, you know, don't go opening up a can of worms without having a fishing pole in your hand so's you can drown em before they start squirming around and stinking up the place."
Kate looked across the table mystified at the process by which Kid found logic in comparing her delicate psyche with a can of squirming, stinking worms. "Maybe you should go, Kid," she said, still dumbfounded.
"Are you gonna be alright?"
"I don't know," she said, still feeling stunned. "But I do know you're not helping."
"Alright, I go. Maybe I'd do better figuring it out by talking to that other writer, although I gotta be careful talking to her sometimes cause if she don't like my attitude... well, you saw what she did to me in her last story."
Kate wasn't even listening as she was now in a rude awakening 'epiphany' state of mind.
"Maybe I should just talk directly to the alter ego," Kid said, looking pensively at Kate for a confirmation.
"Hmm? What?" Kate asked.
"Kate, there's nothing wrong with obsessions that are put to good use. Look at him and his tennis, at me and Heyes and our amnesty, and at you and them other story tellers that put your dreams and fantasies on paper for the entertainment of others. It's okay to appreciate them kind of things, even if we don't all understand the obsessions of others. It's like the alter ego says, 'I appreciate the adulation, I just don't understand it.'"
Again Kate looked at Kid, mystified by his ability to put these things in perspective. This was a side of Kid Curry she had never witnessed before.
"You're right," she said, a smile returning to her face. "You're absolutely right."
"I am?"
"Kid, I think we've come full circle and I could not have accomplished that without you. Thank you."
This time it was Kid who looked dumbfounded. "Sure, Kate. Always glad to help."
"Now if only we could help the alter ego to understand this revelation."
"Leave that to me, Kate. Maybe I'll show up at his next tennis game. The first time he hits a high lob, I'll just shoot that ball right off the court," he said with a charming smile.
Kate smiled. "Oh, that would certainly get his attention," she told him without mentioning the attention of every security officer at the club as well.
"There's just one problem," Kid said reflectively.
"What's that?"
"What's a high lob?"
"Something we'll discuss some other day, Kid."