Here I am again, guys. Ready to blow your minds even more with the next chapter of the Derp Saga.
Warning: Supreme Gamer is not responsible for that minds that get blown while reading this story or any accidental loss of virginity.
Here's Chapter 4 guys, enjoy.
"Dammit" Kaylen silently cursed.
The two warriors stood stock still, staring at this new face that had appeared. It pulled its sword out of the ground and stood there as if waiting for something to happen. Kaylen was so fixated on it that he did not hear Oscar calling out to him.
"Prophet... PROPHET." Oscar yelled snapping Kaylen out of his trance and back to reality. "This is no time to dawdle. What is this thing?"
Kaylen raised his shield and sword in preparation of the creature's attack before speaking in a nervous voice.
"It's a black knight. They were burned to ashes when Gwyn linked the First Flame; now they roam Lordran looking to kill the chosen undead, because they're destined to kill the one they were sworn to protect."
The creature raised its sword and got into a readied stance at Kaylen's introduction.
"Oscar, listen, this thing is in a whole 'nother league compared to the hollows we've fought so far. It's one of the strongest creatures in all of Lordran. It's fast, resilient, and intelligent. I don't think that we can even put a scratch on its armor with the weapons that we have right now."
Oscar grew very alarmed by Kaylen's words. The prophet had predicted every event thus far, he was almost excited to fight a demon the size of a house, and now he is acting very heedful of this knight's abilities.
"Then we must retreat for now. You run back to the bonfire. I will cover your escape and meet-"
"That won't work, Oscar. Black knights are relentless; this thing will chase us to hell and back until it kills us. We have to make a stand here."
Kaylen and Oscar began circling the knight, hoping that it would remain idle long enough for them to come up with a plan. Oscar cursed under his breath, before taking a deep breath and speaking.
"Well, I suppose today's a good a day as any to die. Killing all those hollows again will be quite the chore, though." Oscar joked. "Next time, let's try and avoid this fellow, shall we, prophet?"
"Um, Oscar… about that… I'm not entirely sure if I'm undead."
Oscar turned his head toward Kaylen in disbelief. If Oscar had not had his helmet on, Kaylen would marvel at how wide Oscar's eyes shot open. But, after realizing that there wasn't much that he could do about it at this point, he calmed down and spoke clearly to Kaylen.
"Prophet… you must get away. I will cover your escape and buy you time."
Right then and there, Kaylen had to question his own sanity. He was about to face a black knight and he was about to do it with a fucking shortsword. Any normal person in his position would be shitting their pants right now. But Kaylen looked more determined than ever.
"Oh, I get it. You want to hog all the dying for yourself." Kaylen joked.
"What? Prophet, listen to me. I cannot allow you to be killed; you are too important. If you die, then it's all over. You must-"
Kaylen completely ignored Oscar's speech and got into a fighting stance before speaking to the black knight in a confident and somewhat excited voice.
"Okay pal, there are three things I love above all other things, and that's poetry, the fresh smell of daisies on a summer's morn, and kicking your ass… Oh and Downton Abbey. Okay, 4 things… but then again, I am also partial to a piece of gingerbread from time to time. Okay, okay, there are 5 things that I love more than anything else, one of which is kicking your ass. Okay yeah, we got there in the end. Okay, let's fight."
Oscar seriously could not believe how idiotic the prophet could be in the face of almost certain death, and before Oscar could say anything, the black knight turned towards Kaylen and readied itself to fight. Kaylen knew that this was a serious moment, but he really could not help but add fuel to the fire.
"Ah, ya know what? I probably should have mentioned the sweet, sweet sound of Lionel Richie on that list of "things I love above all other things, one of which is kicking your ass" list. Ah dammit, is it too late to add it or has the trash talk part of the fight ended now?"
As if angered by Kaylen words, the black knight charged forward with its shield raised and its sword poised for an attack. Kaylen laughed at himself and charged towards the Knight. This fight was different from the one's that Kaylen had had with the hollows. The Black Knight was moving fast and its blade was moving faster. But, whether it was because of dumb luck or some hidden skill that Kaylen had, he was keeping up with the knight blow-for-blow.
Block. Parry. Thrust. Block. Parry. Thrust.
The sight of the two going at it was nothing short of amazing. Oscar was left standing in awe of Kaylen's level of swordplay. But this was no fantasy adventure, the black knight was still too strong. Even though Kaylen was keeping up with it, after a few seconds, he was getting pushed back by the black knight and probably would not hold out much longer.
Quickly snapping out of his trance, Oscar charged at the black knight from behind, thinking that this might be his chance. But the knight was ready for him. As Oscar's sword came down, aimed at the knight's back, it clashed its sword with Kaylen's and blocked Oscar's sword at the same time.
Smiling directly into the black abyss that was the knight's face, Kaylen spoke.
"You sealed your doom the moment you dared raise a blade to your betters."
Kaylen and Oscar then unleashed a barrage of blows, with the black knight blocking and countering every one. It blocked Kaylen's attacks and then quickly switched back to Oscar, then it repeated the process with Oscar and turned its attention back to Kaylen. This continued for some time with neither side gaining the advantage, until the black knight rammed its shield into Kaylen's chest and knocked the wind out of his body. Kaylen staggered backwards and fell to one knee, trying to regain his breath.
The black knight then turned to Oscar, now able to give him its full attention. The two warriors clashed in a whirlwind of action, but without Kaylen's help, Oscar was quickly losing ground.
Kaylen stood up after catching his breath.
"Don't you turn your back on me." he growled in a low, angry voice.
Kaylen tossed his shield and his broadsword to the ground. Then, he reached inside his satchel and pulled out the Zweihander ultra greatsword, and applied gold pine resin to the blade. As lightning surged through the blade, Kaylen held it with two hands and charged at the black knight.
"DEMACIA!" Kaylen screamed at the top of his lungs as he jumped high in the air and put all of his strength in an overhead slash.
The black knight had no time to block the attack, so he jumped back as the blade came crashing down on the very spot where he was standing a moment before.
Not giving the knight a single moment to regain his balance, Oscar assaulted him with a barrage of blows, forcing him to retreat even further until his back was against the edge of parapet. With his back facing a cliff side, the black knight now had nowhere left to run and had to let his shield absorb the blows Oscar dealt.
The black knight waited for an opening in Oscar's attack, and when the moment finally came, it quickly moved its shield and pulled its arm back to thrust its sword into Oscar's body. If it were paying attention to its surroundings, it might have noticed Kaylen sprinting towards them.
As the knight moved its shield, Oscar crouched down on one knee, and just as it was about to plunge its sword through Oscar's body, Kaylen used Oscar's crouched form to launch himself at the knight and, taking a page from Andre's book, drop kicked it over the edge of the parapet.
A loud cracking sound was heard after the Knight fell over the cliff. Kaylen and Oscar looked at each other in utter disbelief, before rushing to look over the edge.
"Impossible." Oscar said.
"No fucking way." Kaylen said.
They were both staring down at the black knight, who had stabbed his sword into the wall and was now dangling from his sword.
"HEY THATS CHEATING, ASSHOLE."
"Um, prophet, can he climb back up here?"
"What? No… there is no way he can… I mean… at least I don't think…" Kaylen and Oscar looked back down at the black knight, who looked like he was beginning to gain some footing on the wall. "…Um, maybe we should go."
"Agreed."
The two then ran up the staircase and into the circular tower and ascended the spiral staircase along the tower's inside walls, stopping at the third floor. Above was the tower's roof, judging by the sunlight streaming through the shoddy patchwork, but the stairs were broken. While Oscar was focused on the fog wall ahead, Kaylen turned towards some barrels, opened it and quickly stabbed inside, killing the crystal lizard and claiming the large titanite shard, the titanite chunk, and the twinkling titanite that it dropped.
"Prophet, back there… did you say that you were not sure if you were undead?"
"Yep." Kaylen said nonchalantly as he picked up his loot.
"You are willing to face hollows, black knights, and demons as a human? Why? Why do any of this at all?"
Kaylen just turned to Oscar and shrugged as he gave his answer.
"Somebody had to. Besides there is still the chance that I am Undead, I mean I was in the Undead Asylum, right?"
"Somebody had to? I suppose that is a reasonable reason."
"Okay then, so stop your bitchin' and let's go kill us a demon." Kaylen said with a smile as he lifted the Zweihander onto his shoulder and proceeded through the fog wall, revealing a long, ruined bridge. The two stepped out onto it and gazed out at the beauty of the sunlit countryside.
"What a beautiful view." Oscar said.
"Yeah, almost makes you forget we'll be fighting for our lives in a few seconds."
Oscar stared at Kaylen and gave a light sigh.
"You must learn to enjoy these moments of peace, prophet."
Kaylen gave it some thought before speaking with a smile.
"You know what, you're right, Oscar. I mean, things could be worse. We could be in Drangleic."
"What's Drangleic?"
Kaylen put one of his hands one Oscar's shoulder and used the other to move his hand in a presenting fashion over the view of the countryside.
"It's death, Oscar. Death everywhere. If we were there instead of here, we would not last very long."
"Maybe you wouldn't, but I am a Knight of Astora. I would defeat any that crossed my path."
"BAAHAHAHAHAHA" Kaylen laughed loudly in Oscars face "That's hilarious, Oscar. You think you would survive Drangleic? You can barely handle a black knight without my help."
Oscar was somewhat offended by these words, even if they were true.
"Your assistance was not necessary in that battle, Prophet. I could have found a way to defeat him without you."
"Oscar, you are a great warrior and a valued friend, but I doubt you could survive a few minutes without my help."
"WHAT? I've saved your life at least five times now. I bet you couldn't survive a few seconds without my help."
"Okay then, how about this." Kaylen said as he smiled smugly at Oscar. "After we kill the Taurus demon, there's going to be a bridge we need to cross. If you can make it across to the other side without my help, I'll give you… 1,000 souls."
"Why stop there? Let's make it 2,000 souls."
"Deal."
Kaylen stuck out his hand, and Oscar grabbed it in a strong grip before shaking it.
"Okay, there's two crossbowmen behind us on the roof of the tower. You go kill them, while I go get the big guy. When I bring him back, jump down and stab him right in the face."
Oscar nodded and moved to carry out his orders. Kaylen walked halfway across the bridge at a leisurely pace. He looked back up at the tower and spotted Oscar giving him the thumbs up, he made quick work of the hollows. Kaylen continued three-fourths of the way, until a minotaur-like creature wielding a stone axe jumped down from the opposite tower. Kaylen quick broke into a full-blown sprint back towards Oscar.
The demon gave chase after him, but this wasn't like it was in the game. The demon did not lumber behind Kaylen at a steady pace; it dashed across the bridge with ridiculous speed. It was right behind Kaylen as he was halfway across the bridge, forcing him to pick up speed.
"WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU DOIN' UP HERE ANYWAY?" Kaylen screamed at the monster.
He was out of breath when he reached the other side, and the Taurus demon was right behind him.
"Shit, there's not enough time for me to climb." Kaylen thought as the Taurus demon raised its axe to crush him.
Suddenly the demon started screaming and staggered backwards. Oscar had plunged his sword directly into the beast's head.
"JOIN IN ANY TIME NOW, PROPHET!" He screamed as he desperately held on to his sword, which was jammed into the demon's thick skull.
Wasting no time, Kaylen climbed the ladder as the demon staggered farther away. Kaylen cursed under his breath at their unfortunate luck.
"It's too far for me to get to it." Kaylen thought.
"PROPHET!" Oscar screamed as the demon finally shook him off of its head.
Oscar screamed as he fell to the demon's feet. Now that the blade was removed from its head, the demon looked at Oscar with its eyes almost glowing red with rage and raised its axe to crush him.
Kaylen had to do something quickly, or Oscar was going to die. So, thinking quickly, Kaylen dropped the Zwiehander and pulled the winged spear from his satchel. He took a short running start, then threw the spear with all his might.
"Please, don't miss." He pleaded to himself.
The spear soared towards the demon and struck it straight in its chest. But it was almost completely unfazed by the spear. It seemed to only make the beast angrier. Ignoring Oscar completely and tearing the spear from its chest, it ran towards the tower on which Kaylen was standing.
Kaylen picked the Zwiehander up from the ground and took a few steps back, then sprinted off the edge of the tower with the Zwiehander raised high over his head, prepared to face the demon's charge head-on.
"COME ON!" Kaylen screamed in defiance.
As soon as he was within range, Kaylen put all his strength and momentum in a downward strike that ripped into the demon's skull. The demon produced a deafening roar of pain before falling face first on the ground. Kaylen had to quickly jump off its head before he was crushed.
After it fell to the ground, the demon's body disappeared in a mass of souls. Kaylen looked up at Oscar, who was limping toward him.
"OH MY GOD OSCAR, DID YOU SEE THAT? I was all like 'COME ON' and he was all like 'RAWR', then I hit a midair 360 no scope kill and you were like 'PROPHET'…"
Kaylen continued his ramblings for some time before Oscar spoke.
"I think my leg is broken."
"Oh, stop being a baby and drink some estus. We're gonna have to fight things that are a lot worse than that if we're gonna prevent the Age of Dark."
"The Age of Dark?" Oscar said before taking a swig of estus.
"Oh yeah, forgot to mention that it's possible for the Age of Fire to give way to the Age of Dark, but it'll only happen if a chosen undead chooses not to link the flame and become the Dark Lord, but neither of us would choose to do that, so I think we're good."
"Now there's a Dark Lord? Okay prophet, we need to have a long talk."
"Don't worry, bro. I'll tell you everything I know; I just need you to wait a bit. Now let's go. We're about to meet the warrior whose everyone's best friend. Hopefully he'll join us on our quest."
The two then proceeded to cross the bridge to meet their destiny.
Who is the warrior that Kaylen speaks of? Will he join the two warriors on their quest? What new challenges will they face?
Find out next time on the thrilling continuation of Dark Souls.
I will bring the next chapter very soon guys. Leave a few comments to tell me how I did with the fight scenes. It was my first time trying them and I am wondering what people think. Also, for those of you who somehow lost your virginity while reading this, please accept this awesome smiley face as my apology. :)
*Special thanks to Antoine for beta-reading