I'm going to come clean to Megumin.

I mean, if I don't come clean now, I might never do it. She deserves to know after everything we've been through. I guess it was naive of me to think I could go through my whole life here without telling her.

Argh, this girl can make me do crazy things!

The morning after my failed attempt at getting into a Crimson Demon's pants, I got dressed and poked around the rooms downstairs to see if the owner of said pants was there. Instead there was only Aqua splayed out on the couch, snoring contentedly still fully clothed, but beholding a high goddess in such a state no longer surprised me.

I returned upstairs and hesitated at Megumin's door, fear creeping in. How would she respond to my secrets? Was it going to be a whole arc? Argh, it doesn't matter anyway! Even if she runs away, there's plenty of other fish in the sea, right?! Before I could think further I knocked on the door.

She opened it reservedly, and I entered, leaving the door open. Her room was messy, the bed still unmade, with empty snack packets strewn around. Clearly she hadn't been able to sleep either. But now, her expression was neutral, patiently waiting for what I was about to do. "So, Ultimate Trash Scumzuma, to what do I owe the pleasure?"

I ignored this, as I deserved as much. "I wanted to come clean about some stuff," I said, and I began telling her everything. How I wasn't just from another country, but an entire world, about the reincarnation process, about my previous life, though I left out some of the less flattering details. I also mentioned how I got the letter a couple of days ago, how I had accidentally exchanged rings with the princess without understanding what it meant if I was to beat the Demon King. Megumin reacted very little, occasionally her eyes widening in shock or narrowing amusedly in disbelief.

I finally finished my explanation. "So, that's all my secrets. Sorry to not tell you for so long, it's just that over time, we've gotten really close, and I didn't know the best time to tell you. But now I guess you must hate me…"

I trailed off. Megumin was just silent, rendering her judgement.

"Well?" I prompted. "What are you thinking?"

"It's just… maybe you are a lolicon."

"What?"

"Yeah, I mean, you've gone so far just for a young girl, you've exchanged rings and even defeated the Demon King for her…"

"I told you it's not like that!"

Megumin laughed at my expense once again. "Heh, Kazuma, I thought I finally knew you, but I guess you can still surprise me." She fiddled with her robe as she spoke. "None of the lies change who you are. Kazuma is still Kazuma. And I still think you are a good person, even if you are scum… heh, what kind of girl am I that I'm still attracted to that?"

The kind of girl that can still tease me!

"So, does that mean you'll come with me to the capital?"

"Hm… my heart says yes, but my mind says you deserve a little more punishment." She flashed me a cutesy pose. "Sorry!"

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!

I set out the next day, having relieved some tension overnight from a certain shop. Though, actually, it didn't help as much as usual - maybe my feelings interfered with the dream a little too much? At any rate, I was travelling with Aqua, so I could put any sexy thoughts out of my mind for a good long while until my damn mage sorted herself out.

"Ah, how long has it been since it was just the two of us?" Aqua sighed happily. "I will admit there were times I was at my lowest, that I thought our task to be impossible, but through it all we succeeded. Our partnership proved to be the strongest thing, persevering in the face of all of our troubles. And now, just spending time with you like this… this truly is a wonderful world."

"Megumin forced you to come to supervise me, didn't she?"

"How dare you make light of our bond, Kazuma, after everything we've been through!" Aqua said indignantly. "And, as if Megumin could force a goddess to do anything!"

"Ok, so Megumin bribed you?"

"...She said there was a bottle of the good bubbly in it for me if I kept you away from other women."

I sighed. Is that what this goddess was reduced to now that the demon king was defeated? A one-dimensional air-headed alcoholic? I almost felt bad for her - she wouldn't even get a spot in my hypothetical harem. "You know that nobody sells bubbly to Megumin yet, right?"

Aqua blinked. "... You know, I think I left the oven on at the house, I had better go back."

I grabbed her by the back of her collar as she attempted to nonchalantly flee.

Eventually, the world's worst escape artist accepted her fate of accompanying me, and she resigned herself to pouting grumpily in the cart. I had to admit, it was sad seeing her so upset, like seeing a cat deprived of food despite having definitely eaten enough. I tried to take her mind off it.

"So, Aqua, what happens in this world now that the Demon King has been killed?" I asked. "Is it going to be a happily ever after kind of thing? Is there going to be another Demon King rising up in a new cycle? Do I get eventually summoned to some other world? Is there some sequel where it turns out there's been an even more evil threat lurking this whole time?"

Aqua pondered it for a few moments. "Hm… I don't know."

I blinked. "What do you mean you don't know? Didn't you, like, run heaven for years?"

Aqua scoffed. "I just did what I was told, which was to get people to reincarnate to this world! Besides, time passes differently there. It's not like we sat around just reading lore for extra credit."

Once again, this goddess has proven totally useless.

After the rest of the journey passed uneventfully, we arrived at the Capital to witness ongoing raucous celebrations. The streets were full, and the air thick with jubilant noise. Soldiers marched to the beat of drums and music through excited citizens, much like a parade was back on Earth, and mages in official uniforms fired colourful spells into the air, conjuring colourful animals of water, of fire, and of light

"Aha, a parade! It's clearly for us!" Aqua exclaimed. "Though how did they know we were coming today?"

"Use your common sense, it's not for us," I said.

"Three cheers for the hero of Belzerg!" a random citizen shouted, to which the crowd replied with further cheers.

"Oh. Maybe it is for us," I said, surprised. "So how did they know we were coming today?"

An official-looking high ranked soldier blew a horn before making his announcement. "And here comes the hero now!"

An excited hush fell over the crowd as a drum roll began, and a space began forming, as a platform was wheeled into the centre of the square.

Well, I hadn't planned this, but who was I to deny the crowd?

"Rejoice, citizens!" I exclaimed, bursting onto the platform with a flourish. "It is your hero, the slayer of the demon king!"

But the expressions of the crowd became confused. They began muttering to each other in hushed tones, as if they were seeing something bizarre.

I noticed Aqua blending into the crowd, showing no association with me whatsoever. I turned, to see an unfurled banner, a triumphant pose of Iris in battle armour with the title 'Princess Iris, Hero of Belzerg!'

Ah. So it wasn't for me. My face grew painfully red. Could this get any worse?

Then I heard a voice from behind.

"Oh, elder brother, you're here!"

"Ah, Sebastian, my morning tea, please."

"It's Heidel, sir."

"Whenever it's ready, Heidel."

I allowed my body to warm to the new day, comfortable in the royal guest bed. Shortly afterwards, the butler arrived, balancing the tea tray expertly in his hand before placing it onto my lap. I took a sip of the tea: perfect, as Heidel waited patiently for further instructions.

"Heidel, tell me," I said. "Are my many achievements not worthy of praise?"

"They are, sir."

"Could I not be considered one of the heroes of Belzerg?"

"You could, sir."

"Then is it not reasonable for me to interpret a celebration for a hero as a celebration of my achievements?"

"It is, sir."

"Thank you, Heidel. That will be all."

I was over the whole incident, really. If anything, the capital owed me an apology and a celebration. And yet, here I was, with no reward to speak of! Except the princess's hand in marriage, of course. And even that I was going to turn down… eventually. So I should at least get to have a little fun before I do that, right?

I got dressed into some of my smarter clothes and headed to the meeting room, as I'd been advised the day before. There is a ceremony where the Hero meets the princess officially, they have a private conversation, and then the Hero is to formally accept her hand in marriage. Cue celebrations and merriment with the royal family. Since Iris and I are so close already, and I'm going to reject her, it's a little bit strange… Still, apparently Iris asked to keep to the tradition, so I had better not disappoint my little sister.

I entered the waiting room I had been escorted to by Heidel. Claire and Rain were here along with a few other castle personnel. Aqua was there already, availing herself of the buffet of small appetisers that were laid out on the side. And there was another dysfunctional female from my party here too.

"Kazuma!" Darkness's face seemed to light up when she spotted me coming in. Excusing herself from conversation with some other noble, she rushed up towards me to catch up. I had two main thoughts: the first was mild relief that I had some more support in the room, and the second was that my potential to have a little fun had just now sharply increased.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, feigning outrage.

"Hey, Kazuma, I'm a high ranking noble who actively supported you in defeating the Demon King! Of course I'll be here!" Darkness said proudly.

Meanwhile Rain saw us talking, and oddly enough, decided to come over to chat.

"Ah look, it's the 'Hero of Belzerg'," said Rain with a plastic smile.

This woman…! Despite my instinct to get into a fist fight, I restrained myself. Instead, I smiled politely. "So, where's my fiance?"

Now it was her turn to restrain herself from lunging at me.

"Oi, who do you think you are, Kazuma?" Darkness hissed.

"Yes, I'm Kazuma."

"After starting a relationship with Megumin, you're now trying to marry the princess for real? You're going to reject her, right?!"

"Why should I?" I shrugged. "Megumin rejected my advances, so isn't it only natural that I, the slayer of the Demon King, should take my place in the Royal family?"

Rain meanwhile backed away, as if horrified by my very being.

"I had hoped that surely you were going to reject the marriage to the princess?" Rain said.

"Who knows?" I replied. "It's probably unprecedented to reject her, right? How can I, a lowly adventurer, say no? Besides, these guys told me not to try for a harem, so I guess I have to pick one woman and settle down…"

Rain staggered back leaning against the table for support, now white as a sheet.

"The princess… Sullied by the hands of this cretin…"

"Come on, of course I'm going to do the right thing," I tutted. "What do you guys take me for?"

The two girls avoided eye contact.

I sighed. "Fine, I'm going to reject the proposal. Happy?"

Both of their faces lightened up considerably.

"Ah, I always knew… I mean, I am glad to hear that," Darkness smiled.

"Oi, why did you change what you were gonna say?"

"Attention, everyone!"

All eyes turned towards Claire, who was standing next to an ornate wooden door leading to the next room. "Princess Iris is formally ready to meet the slayer of the Demon King!"

And the door opened slowly, revealing Iris in a glistening white dress. She was adorned in little sapphire bracelets and a necklace that even a fashion-ignoramus like me could see was expensive and stylish. She looked so innocent and precious, truly the jewel of the entire royal family. After a moment, she looked up and gave me a little wave, with the genuine shyness of a little girl. What a precious little sister!

I was dimly aware of the range of stares from those in the room. Most of the girls were also captivated by the adorable little princess. Some of the guards seemed to be muttering to each other in hushed tones while looking down at me. A few of the male nobles here were staring at me as if trying to kill me with their gaze.

"When you are ready, Hero Kazuma," Claire gestured for me to come forward and join Iris. I was suddenly acutely aware of how dressed up me and Iris both were. I strolled forward awkwardly, and we entered the room for our private meeting.

But it was all a formality. Nothing was going to happen, there were no twists to come or anything. Right?