And I will stay up through the night
Let's be clear, won't close my eyes
And I know that I can survive
I'll walk through fire to save my life
SEPT. 2106
"Hello there.. my name is Elle Masen. Ahh.."
I looked toward the teacher, Mrs. Chatham, hoping she would excuse me from this excruciating practice of introducing myself to the class like this was preschool. I felt shy and awkward in front of an audience, traits I suspected I carried over from my human life. She glanced at me from where she sat at her desk grading papers, and I could see she would have no mercy. Lovely.
"Tell us where you're from.. any interests you have.." She trailed off, clearly more invested in her menial task than actually educating us. I sighed, resisting the urge to grind my teeth and growl before I turned back to the 18 pairs of eyes goggling me like I was Adrianna Lima and had materialized out of the Victoria's Secret catalogue.
"I'm from.." The briefest pause, hardly a second to them but practically an entire hour for me. How had I not thought of this? Of course anyone with a single brain cell would ask where I had been before I came here. I registered with a hint of humorless sarcasm that somehow I doubted Mt. Rainier was an appropriate answer. ".. Edmonton." I had selected a place at random that seemed reasonably far enough, but the resulting shudders along the fault lines of my heart alarmed me. I screwed my eyes shut, feigning exasperation while I wrestled with the sheer enormity of the heartbreak crashing over me. I knew I couldn't pay attention to it right now. There were humans present who wouldn't understand my incoherent, animalistic wailing. But good Lord, if there were such a being in this universe, my unbeating heart hurt, more than thirst and a thousand times more than burning. How none of the students noticed my behavior I did not know and I did not allow myself time to ponder it, for Louise Chatham was once again prompting me in that incessantly droning voice to continue, giving me the distraction I desperately needed.
By the time Mrs. Chatham had finally, finally allowed me to sit down, not only was I calmer, the reaction forced to the back of my head, but I had also been forced to tell the class about my hobbies (reading, hiking, and playing violin), about my family (I moved to live with aunt who was elderly and infirm - a lie, as I had no family that I knew of), and plans for after graduation (teaching or medicine - the truth). As I moved as slowly as I could down the rows of desks, I shot a scowl over my shoulder that Mrs. Chatham did not see, still too engrossed in her own incompetence. It was almost painful to move at this sluggish pace, especially with how irritated I was, but I registered that I was still going faster than a human would. I worked, hard, to force my muscles to relax and go even slower.
The rest of the day passed in an unmemorable blur. I noticed that while my peers were all interested in me, unhealthily so, very few had the courage to actually speak to me. Amelia Cousins was the only one to actually smile at me, which I returned shyly, hopeful I could make a slightly longer lasting friend than the nomadic vampires I occasionally came across. I had another episode as I entered the cafeteria, my eyes drawn to a table by the windows inexplicably. I gasped, probably too loudly, as pain accosted me while I watched a group of freshman hoot and holler. A piece of my mind noted they wore baseball uniforms and for some reason, the pain increased. I moved through the lunch line, barely keeping a grip on myself as I selected items at random. I tolerated exactly 9 minutes and 32 seconds of sitting at a table I don't remember getting to, staring at food I barely remember getting before I got up and, depositing my food in the trash and tray in the receptacle, made a beeline for my car.
I still had 51 minutes of lunch, decidedly more than enough time to soft myself out. I debated taking a drive to clear my thoughts - I knew the newest model Audi RS7 was more than up for the job - but thought better of it when I imagined how it would look when I peeled out of the school parking lot at over 70 mph. The subsequent thought of my horrified embarrassment upon my return only solidified my decision. Attention-adverse as I was, being a vampire certainly didn't help matters.
I used this train of thought to begin the process of calming myself down. I flipped down the vanity mirror and peered into my amber eyes, closer to black than topaz. I would need to hunt soon. A thread of a memory, hazy and unfocused that hinted at why I chose to feed on animals rather than people, tried tugging loose, but as usual my brain couldn't force itself past anything more than this vague impression. I ran my fingers through my hair, sable black, considering the length. It was almost down to my waist, but something always stopped me from cutting it to a more reasonable length. I studied my fingers, touched them to my high cheekbones and flexed my hands, curling them into claws. I sighed, resting my head against the back of the seat and closed my eyes, willing myself for the thirty five thousand six hundred and eighty second time to just remember something solid and concrete, anything at all. I pressed my knuckles to my eyes, fighting the stinging itch of unshed tears. I knew I would have time later after school to succumb to the encroaching darkness but I still struggled to fight it off. Finally, blessedly, the bell shrieked the ending of lunch. I inhaled, deep and without any real relief, before I slipped out of my car to continue the charade I prayed would yield the truths of my past.