"Oh yeah...right there...right there! Right in my pussy!" Mae screamed, then let out a prolonged moan of bliss as Trent picked up the pace, driving into her hard and fast and deep.

As he stared down at her nude, voluptuous body on the sofa beneath him, he marveled at her. While he never thought of himself as having a big dick, he was often surprised by how much of a pounding she could take for a girl so short.

Then again, as she frequently asserted, she was pretty sturdy.

"I'm going...to...oh shit yes!" she cried as she began to orgasm.

Trent let out a sound of pure bliss as he felt her juices begin coming out of her, increasing the pleasure and then sending him into his own orgasm. He grunted furiously as he began letting off inside of her, pumping her full of his cum, the two of them climaxing together.

The pleasure came and then it went, receding like a tsunami slipping back into the ocean, and the two of them laid there together, him still inside of her, panting. She had taken off all her clothes but asked that he kept his pants on for some reason, though he imagined it had something to do with the implied hotness of him being so horned up for her that he couldn't even finish getting undressed.

As the after-sex bliss ebbed away, he felt that same feeling of disquiet seeping back in, like cold, cold seawater through a crack in a submarine.

"Mae...what's wrong?" he asked finally, because he could stand it no more.

She didn't say anything at first.

It had been two and half mostly uneventful days since his panic attack. He had sort of just been hanging out around the house with his girlfriends, and with Claire when she came over. It was obvious that she was practically high from the change in her life, and she hadn't noticed the leftover tension of the anxiety attack, and he was very okay with that. Claire had been through a lot, endured a lot, and deserved this happiness.

And it was nice to hang out with someone who had no idea he'd had the attack. Things had been...a little weird. Ann was a little guilty, Bea was a little worried, and Mae had been strangely awkward. He would have thought that of them all, she would be the least awkward about it, but he supposed he should have been used to Mae's unpredictability by now.

"I don't know how to...say it," she said finally, not looking at him.

He pushed himself up, looking deliberately down at her. "You can tell me anything, Mae."

"I know," she murmured, slowly meeting his eyes. She looked very unhappy. "I'm just...having trouble...with feelings." She sighed and squirmed beneath him. "Can I clean up?"

"Yeah," he replied, pulling out of her and getting up. He began getting his clothes back on as she headed for the bathroom.

So something was wrong.

He'd known there was, but now she was admitting it. She hadn't before, though he supposed he hadn't asked so directly. They were alone right now. It was Thursday evening. Bea was hanging out with her dad and Ann had taken his jeep out to her sobriety program out in Briddle. Claire was back at Mae's parent's house, doing...he wasn't sure what. Probably just chilling.

Mae came back after she flushed the toilet and began gathering her clothes and pulling them back on.

"Should probably go downstairs and turn off the recording stuff," she muttered, then sighed. "Eh, fuck it. I'll just edit it out. Don't feel like going back down there yet."

Trent just waited. She'd come upstairs not too long ago, horny and wanting to record some porn that wasn't actually porn even though it actually was for her and he'd been pretty happy to oblige.

They sat together on the couch in silence for a moment.

"Are you mad at me?" he asked finally, finding it difficult to endure that silence.

"No," she replied immediately, "I'm not mad at you, Trent. Of course not." She sighed. "Shit, I should've said that awhile ago. It's just-this has me feeling super weird."

"What does?"

She hugged herself and frowned, not looking at him still. "You called Bea," she said finally.

"...what?"

"When you had your panic attack, you called Bea for help."

"...should I not have?"

"No, I mean, you called her instead of me."

He blinked a few times. "I...I mean...it was just-she was the first person who came to mind."

"Exactly!" she cried in a sudden burst of emotion. "It was your immediate, natural reaction. You called her, but not me. And, it's like, I just keep thinking, I'm like a kid still. I'm the immature one in this whole relationship. Ann and Bea are both so grown up, and now it's like you are, too. I know you aren't, like, saying I'm immature or unreliable, but when you felt like you had a gun to your head, you chose to ask Bea for help, and if it hadn't been Bea, it would've been Ann. And I'm not-I'm not mad at you about that, I'm mad at me for that."

"Mae, I…" He trailed off, at a complete loss for what to say. He had not expected this.

"And it's even shittier because it's like I'm taking this big problem you had and are struggling with and making it about me!"

"Mae, it's okay," he said, taking her hand.

"It isn't!" she cried, but she squeezed his hand. He put his arm around her and she leaned against him. "I'm not crying," she muttered.

"I know, Mae." He sighed softly. "Um…"

"This is stupid. I know this is stupid. But it won't leave me alone."

"Mae, it isn't stupid. It matters to you, even if you don't want it to, it does. So it matters to me. I care if you're upset, Mae. Whatever it is, whatever's upsetting you, I care about it."

He fell silent again, once more stymied.

What should he say? Because, he realized at once, she was right. He did trust Bea, and Ann, more than her, to handle an emergency. The two of them were noticeably more grown-up and adult than Mae was. But that wasn't really anyone's fault. Would that help? Or would that just make it worse? Somehow he thought it might be worse. Almost like he was saying: there's nothing you can do to make me believe you are more grown up.

It wasn't true, but he also didn't know what she could do. Because what the hell even was grown up? What was being an adult?

Slowly, an answer began to form in his mind.

"Mae…" he said slowly, and she looked up at him with those big red eyes of hers. Despite her assertion, there were unshed tears in them.

"Give it to me straight," she said. "Don't hold back."

He nodded. That was something they often agreed to. "In some ways, of the four of us, you are the most immature. But you're also the youngest. But, and this is the most significant thing, you have made amazing progress."

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"You have made more progress on your maturity and working on yourself as a person than the three of us have."

"How?"

"Because of where you were starting. Ann is older than us and has been through a lot, Bea was basically forced to grow up in a hurry. She had to be super mature, but I get the impression that she's always been more mature than most people her age."

Mae laughed a little. "Yeah, that's true. Even in middle school. Sour, mature Bea...keep going."

"Okay, so, it's like...um…" He looked around suddenly for a visual aide and seized upon a collection of taco sauce packets on the coffee table from Taco Buck. He grabbed four of them and laid three of them in a rough row. "Okay, okay. That's me, Ann, and Bea. Roughly. I personally think I'm less mature than you think I am…" He reached out and pushed the one in the middle to the left.

"No," Mae said firmly, reaching out and pushing it back into place. "Look, dude, you're easily as mature as Bea or Ann. All the shit you put up with, the way you just fucking took charge during the cult shit, you're fucking adult dude."

"Maybe," he said.

"For sure," she growled stubbornly.

"All right, whatever, that's not the point of this." He held up the last packet. "This is you."

Mae looked at it, then giggled. "I'm Extra Hot?"

He laughed, glad she'd picked up on that. He had indeed selected the hottest sauce packet to represent her. "You are indeed extra hot, Mae. In many ways. But, okay, so, those three that represent us, that's where we are on the, uh, maturity scale, I guess you could say. This is where you started when I first met you." He set her packet way back to the left. "And this is your progress, compared to our progress."

Using both hands, he began moving the three packets very slowly forward, while pushing her packet very quickly forward, closing the gap rapidly between the two.

"So...what you're saying is...I'm catching up?" she asked.

"Yes, exactly! And don't take this the wrong way, but basically, you started off way more immature than Bea or Ann when I first met you. You had more ground to cover. Or, put it another way, it's sort of like, World of Warcraft. Me, and Ann, and Bea have already been playing for awhile, and we're like level thirty, and you joined in way after we got started, and you're making progress. But you're still technically behind us, at like, level twenty six now. But the difference is, we've been playing casually this whole time, and you've been, like, mad grinding adult XP."

"That makes sense!" she cried suddenly, smiling. Then she lost it, though her frown seemed more of the concentrating variety than the sad variety. "Have I really been grinding that hard?"

"Yes, you have, Mae. You've made incredible progress. I mean, shit, even when we first starting dating you were, and these are your words, not mine, such an asshole, and you were trying to fix it. With the ear-flicking. And it worked, Mae! I can't even remember the last time I saw you flick your ear, and you're a lot more considerate now. And you take responsibility for things, you do things you don't want to do, you face your fears. That's massive progress. That takes some people years, Mae! Some people never get there! And you've done this in six months!"

"Hmm." She still looked like she was concentrating on something. "But, I don't know, I still feel like not an adult. I smoke weed, play video games and call it a 'job', I can't drive, I fuck my boyfriend and girlfriend all the time, I'm basically just a big teen."

"Mae, that's a load of fucking bullshit," Trent said.

She looked over at him, her eyes a little wide. "What?"

"How many fucking 'adults' smoke and drink, fuck around with people, and sit around watching 'reality' TV and sports? If they can do that, you can fucking toke and fuck and play video games. What matters is: do you step up when it matters? Do you try to push stuff onto other people? Or do you accept responsibility? Do you admit when you're wrong? Do you apologize? Do you try to do things for other people? That is being an adult. And from what I can tell, most adults don't actually feel adult. I've talked to several adults, like we're talking forty or fifty plus, who straight up said, 'I still feel like a teenager inside, I don't know what the fuck I'm doing'. Don't let some bullshit make you feel like you aren't a mature adult just because you enjoy your life."

She was still looking at him. "That's...a good point," she said finally. "But, I still feel like, Bea's always going to be more 'adult' than me. And Ann, and you. Like I'm always going to be the 'kid' of the group that everyone looks after."

"Is that truly so bad, Mae?" he asked.

She sighed. "I...guess not."

"And I don't think it's even true. We respect you, we rely on you for things. You pull your own weight around here. You do the dishes, you help with the laundry, the trash, you straighten up...sometimes. If I ask for help with something, and you aren't already engaged with something important, you help me. You help us all."

"And that's all it takes to be an adult?"

He sighed. "I...don't know. I don't have all the answers. But my point is, being a responsible adult is a process, and you are doing fine, Mae. Seriously. I mean that."

"...will you help me get my license this summer?" she asked.

He laughed. "Yes, Mae, I'll help you get your license this summer."

She hugged him. "Thank you!"

He rubbed her back. "You're welcome. Do you feel better?"

"Yeah." She paused. "I guess...you got a point. About sort of being the 'kid' of the group. I mean, I told you in the beginning that I'm probably always going to be someone's problem, and I thought I'd accepted that, but...I guess maybe it's still bothering me."

"Some things we don't really get past, Mae, we just...live with it. It gets easier, but it never goes away completely, or at least if it does, not for long. But it's okay, Mae, we'll take care of you. And you'll take care of us. We'll all take care of each other. Don't feel like a burden, okay? Relationships are give and take, Mae. We all give, we all take. It'll be different things."

"You're right." She squeezed him suddenly. "I love you. Like...soooo much. Also, that dicking was fucking bomb, dude."

He laughed awkwardly. "I love you too, Mae, and I feel the same way about your pussy."

"That's so awesome to hear. I know I've said it a million times, but I'm like so fucking relieved to find that sex is as awesome as everyone claims it is. Like damn do you fuck me good. When I bust it feels so good. Also, Ann is like so good at eating pussy...do you cum harder with me or Ann or Bea?" she asked suddenly.

"So fucking not answering that," he replied.

"So there is an answer?"

He sighed. "Honestly? No. There isn't. Sometimes the sex is fucking awesome, sometimes it's pretty decent. With all of you."

"I dunno, you seem to bust real hard for Bea…" He sighed again, even more heavily. "I'm sorry, babe. I'm just fucking with you. And I know, I'm being a bitch, I'm just happy. You made me feel better...and I guess I'm being a shit by punishing you for that." She stood up suddenly. "We should go turn off my recording equipment. It's still going."

"Can I come?"

"Yeah! You're always welcome down there...oh, hmm, I guess I did kinda make it feel like no one's welcome down there, didn't I?"

"The 'fuck off' message kind of gives that impression," he admitted as they headed to the basement.

"Sorry. I guess...maybe I should put up a different sign? I don't know. Ugh, now I feel like a bitch, like I'm all of a sudden realizing that I just stole your basement, and this is your house, and-"

"Mae, it's our house, okay? This is where we live. And we all agreed: you get the basement. And this matters, it's worth it because you give a shit about it. And beyond that, you're doing well, babe."

"I dunno," she murmured, walking over to her setup and killing the recording.

"Come on, how many subscribers do you have now?"

"I just passed three thousand today, actually," she replied.

"Holy shit. That's...quite the jump. It wasn't all that long ago you were breaking a thousand."

"Yeah, I had a big jump yesterday and it's still going. It's cuz I posted my first Dead Space video and that just...caught. Like, it's already at fifty thousand views, and it keeps going up. I definitely caught the algorithm somehow."

"That's fucking awesome, Mae. Man...Dead Space. That's...that's one of the greats. Like one of the absolute masterpiece greats."

Mae nodded. "So far, yeah, it's fucking awesome."

Trent looked around her setup, studying the row of games. "Tell me, what all have you played so far?"

"Lemme think...so, both Suffering games, Cold Fear, both Max Paynes, Doom 3 and Resurrection of Evil and BFG Edition, The Thing, Manhunt, Area 51, Wolfenstein Operation Resurrection, and Condemned. And now Dead Space."

"Man, you've still got such kickass games to play."

"Like?"

"Well, Dead Space 2 for one. The three sixty Wolfenstein game, and then the other ones. The new Doom, although it's pretty different. The Metro games. KOTOR. And that's not even counting the Xbox One horror games. And I'm missing several others. Just...this is so cool."

He fell silent, looking over her setup. She'd added a little bit to it, mostly the three-tiered wooden shelf they'd ordered online and he'd help put together last week to hold the games, and a table beside the chair she gamed in. She kept it surprisingly well organized.

"Mae…" he said, returning his gaze to her.

"What?" she asked, steeling herself.

He laughed. "It's nothing bad. I just wanted to say, I know you have trouble thinking of what you do as a job or even something serious, something worth respecting, but I wanted to remind you that I do respect what you do, and I respect you for doing it, and taking it seriously, and I'm proud of you. I've never once been ashamed when telling people about what you do, I've never tried to hide it, and I never will."

Mae suddenly took two quick steps towards him and then leaped onto him, wrapping her arms and legs around him. Trent was expecting it, but still stumbled a step as he caught her and grunted.

"I love you so much. Marriage is stupid but I'd marry you if you asked me to. I feel like I'd do anything for you," she murmured, squeezing him.

"And I appreciate that more than I can say, and I'd do the same for you," he replied. He paused. "Maybe a bad time to ask, but now I'm curious...does it bother you now that I'm probably going to marry Bea?"

"No," she replied. "It doesn't. I'm still happy about that. Bea wants a fantasy princess wedding, and you're gonna give her one. She deserves it. And it's not like anything will change about our lives, really. Although…" She let go of him and got back to her feet, lips twisted in consideration. "How are we gonna handle the honeymoons?"

He chuckled. "Oh, wow, yeah. Gee." He thought about it for a moment. "I guess, ultimately, I'll have to go on one with each of you individually. And you and Ann will have your own. And then we'll all do one together? Given Bea is really dating just me. Although if you and Bea wanted to go on a honeymoon just you two, or her and Ann wanted to, that'd be totally cool, too. I guess it'd be more of a vacation than a honeymoon."

"This'll be real expensive," Mae said.

"Yeah, but oh well, we deserve it."

"Where are you and me gonna go for our honeymoon?" she asked.

"Where do you want to go?"

"I dunno...Oregon."

"Really?"

Mae nodded. "Yeah, I love all the pics of Oregon I've seen. Somewhere on the coast. I want to see the ocean, and I want to see it in Oregon."

Trent nodded. "I'm down for that. I think-"

They both paused as they heard the doorbell ring upstairs.

"Are you expecting anyone?" he asked.

"No," she replied.

"Hmm." They began heading back up. "If it were your parents or Claire, they'd just come in through the back door. If it was Bea or Ann, they'd just come in."

"I'm a little scared," Mae muttered.

"Me too, but I'm sure it's no big deal."

Mae hung back as he walked up to the front door and stood up on his tiptoes to look through the small window. He felt relief, but confusion, as he saw that it was Jackie.

"It's Jackie," he said, unlocking the door and opening it up.

"Really?" Mae murmured.

"Yep. Hey, Jackie. What's up?"

"Hey...uh...sorry I just sorta showed up. I tried to text, but you didn't respond."

Trent reached down and patted his pocket, then sighed, looking around. "Sorry, I guess I left my phone up in my office or bedroom. It's fine, though. You can come in."

"Thanks. Hey, Mae."

"Hi, Jackie."

As they headed for the living room, Trent was glad to see that the tension between Mae and Jackie was significantly reduced. They almost seemed calm. Though he doubted they'd ever seem completely at ease around each other, given they were both awkward people.

"So what's up?" he asked.

"Well, uh, two things. First, Bea mentioned you had an anxiety attack of some kind, and I was worried about you. And I also want to apologize in advance if that was privileged information, I sort of pried it out of Bea, and personal health issues and privacy are close to my heart, but also helping my friends is close to my heart, too, so…"

"It's fine, Jackie. I really appreciate you caring," Trent replied.

"Okay, cool. So, uh, are you okay? What happened...if you don't mind me asking? Bea was really vague."

Trent laughed. "Uh, well, how to explain this...a song that was selected at random came on while I was out taking a walk and it triggered an anxiety attack due to PTSD I probably have related to my really, really shitty family treating me like shit. I freaked out and climbed the Telezoft building without really realizing it, and my girlfriends came to help me. I'm okay, but it was, uh...it was a really scary situation. Anxiety attacks suck hard."

"They do," Jackie agreed.

"Have you had any?" he asked. She nodded. "Oh man, I'm sorry. I knew they sucked, I just didn't realize how much they sucked...what was the second thing?"

"Well, I'm a little conflicted about it now, because as soon as I tell you, I feel like it might create a conflict between the two of you," Jackie replied.

"Um...okay, now I'm really curious to hear it," Mae said, and Trent nodded.

"You should just tell us," he replied, "you gave us fair warning, you're off the hook."

"I'm not sure I believe that, but I'll take it. Mae: I found Bombshell. I've organized a party that she's going to be at this Saturday, and it's about a three hour drive."

"Oh, wow. Jeez. That's...okay, I get what you mean about the conflict. I'd want to go, but also maybe it's not the best time for Trent to be going, and I'd feel bad going without him, but I'd also feel bad asking him to go…" Mae muttered.

"Let me save you the trouble: I'm down to go," Trent said.

"Are you just saying that to make me happy?" Mae replied, wincing a little.

"I'm not. We'll take some precautions, but I'm reluctant to start making decisions based on what might freak me out."

"You might not have a choice," Jackie murmured. "I get not wanting to let anxiety control you, but...it might overpower you. And there's no shame in that."

"You aren't wrong," he said after considering it for a moment. "We'll all talk it over, but I want to do this. Honestly, I'm liking the parties."

"All right then. Thanks, Jackie...so what's her name? How'd you find out?" Mae asked.

"A lot of sleuthing. That picture helped. Kept asking and finally got pointed to her Facebook. Her real name is Molly Harper. Turns out I know a friend of hers who I see irregularly because they live so far away. I normally don't go out that far, but sometimes I do. As soon as I found out, I started putting together a party, and I got confirmation from Molly's friend Jasmine that Molly will be coming to the party."

"Molly...such a hot name," Mae murmured.

"Yeah, it is. Reminds me of Molly Millions from Neuromancer."

"Yeah! So where is this place? Where are we going?"

"A college town called Durkillesburg."