"What's going on?" Melody asked.

Trent sighed softly. "He wants to know if you've slept with me."

"...what the fuck? I mean, not that it's any of your business, but yes. Who are you?"

"My name is Chris...at this point I think I'd rather know why," he replied.

"Chris...wait, like, Chris the guy who tried to stab you?...and also saved you from being stabbed and or shot?"

"Yep," Trent said.

"...what the fuck?" she repeated.

"I think it might actually help keep him from going insane if you answer his question, but you don't have to at all," Trent replied.

"I'll fuck off if you want me to. I didn't come here to fight. Christ, I just came here to fucking relax," he muttered.

Trent studied Melody as she studied Chris. After a moment, she took a drink. "All right, I'll bite. You want to know why I had sex with him?" she asked.

"Yeah. Like...what made you want to do it? Because you are...a straight fucking eleven. Jesus Christ, you're hot," he muttered.

Melody frowned, looking at Trent, like she was really considering it. To be honest, he was actually very curious to hear what she said. "I guess...I was in the mood to try something kind of crazy. We met at a party at my house. My parent's house. I'm from another city and my family's pretty well off. And my parents are really restrictive. I wanted to get laid, but with someone I thought I could trust."

"How did you know you could trust him?" Chris asked uncertainly.

"I didn't, not really. But there were clues. I mean, the fact that he had four women vouching for him, one of whom I knew and trusted, really helped. Honestly, it was probably the deciding factor. But looking back, there were other things. He was polite, he was straightforward, he was kind, he was chill. Just...his whole vibe was chill, and that was good. I would never-and I'm not saying this to be mean-but I would never sleep with someone who looked like you because you scare the shit out of me. I would actively cross the street if I saw you."

"Why?" he asked, looking down at himself. "I mean is it because I'm so big?"

"That's part of it, but the real part of it is I'm getting kinda danger vibes from you. Like, my intuition is telling me 'if you reject this guy, he might actually try to kill you'."

"What the fuck? I wouldn't do that."

"How would handle rejection then? I mean, okay, I understand how literal murder might seem hyperbolic, although a lot of women get murdered by men they reject. But I'd be extremely nervous to turn you down because I feel like you would take it terribly."

"I…" Chris looked at the bottle in his hand for a moment, frowning. "I probably wouldn't take it really well. I might yell. I wouldn't, like, lay hands on you."

"Okay, see, you say that now, but I bet you'd say you wouldn't lay hands on some random dude either, right? But that's totally what you did with Trent, wasn't it?"

He sighed. "I'm never gonna fucking live that down."

"I mean...it was pretty bad, man. Like that is some psycho shit. And again, I'm not trying to rub your face in it, I'm just being honest, which is what you asked for."

He sighed again, less exasperated, more tired. "Yeah, I did...so just his vibe?"

"Well, also I was, and am, attracted to him. He's cute, but also confident. Really though, it was all that, but also right place, right time. In most other circumstances, I wouldn't have hopped into bed with him," she replied.

"I guess that makes sense...ah man, you're giving me a look like I'm being a huge asshole," Chris said, and Melody looked back to Trent.

"I guess I'm realizing something," he replied.

"What?"

"This whole...this interaction we have, where you run into me when I'm out with a hot chick I've gotten intimate with, it's got a running theme. And the theme isn't 'why is Chris not hooking up', it's 'why is Trent hooking up'. Like, you aren't upset that you aren't getting laid, you're upset that I am getting laid."

"Wait is that true?" Melody asked.

"I…" Chris hesitated, looking slowly down at the ground for a moment. "Uh...well, I mean it's kind of true? I haven't actually hooked up with anyone in like three months. And it's getting to me. But...you're right. Ugh...man, I am an asshole."

"I mean I get it," Trent replied. "I'm annoyed, but it's not like I don't understand. I'm twenty two. I spent pretty much half my life wanting to be with women and getting frustrated and bitter over the fucking douchebags who managed to hook up just because they worked out or had money or good genetics."

"So...does my suffering make you happy?" Chris asked. He asked with shockingly little venom. It seemed like an actual question.

"It did," Trent admitted. "For awhile yeah, it did. It was nice to finally be on the other side of that."

"And now?"

He sighed. "I don't know. Not really. I'm not a sadist. I don't like hurting people and I pretty much don't like seeing people be hurt. Probably because I've gone through so much fucking misery."

"Well...I guess it's good to hear the truth at least. I guess it's kind of like when you asked me if I hated you, and I said I used to, but not anymore."

"Yeah, more or less."

A moment of awkward silence passed.

"I'll go if you want, but...I do have one more question," he said.

"What?" Trent asked.

"For her, actually. Um...do you have any advice for me, like, in regard to women?"

"You're asking me?" Melody asked.

"I don't really have any chicks in my life right now, except for my sister, and I'm not talking to her about sex stuff," he replied.

"Lemme think about it," she said.

Trent began to say something, then hesitated as he heard something. Guitar. Strumming a rather familiar melody. He started looking around. "What the fuck…?"

"What?" Melody asked.

"That music…" He zeroed in on where it was coming from.

Mae was sitting on a picnic table beside Gregg and a lean rabbit with dark brown fur. She was the one playing the song.

"I gotta see this," he said, and began walking off.

Melody naturally followed, falling into step beside him, and Chris drifted after them after a moment of hesitation. He walked up to Mae and for a moment just stood there and watched her. She had her eyes closed, nodding her head slowly.

"Yeah, I think I got it," she said and opened her eyes. She almost fell right off the table when she saw him. "Trent! You weren't supposed to hear that! It was gonna be a surprise."

"I mean, we're outdoors, Mae," he replied. "I didn't know you knew Lost Love."

"It's really pretty," Melody said.

"Yeah, that song kicks ass," Gregg agreed.

"I didn't know it," Mae replied. "But after I saw you play Indigo Prophecy and I heard that song and how much you liked it, I learned it so I could play it for you...what are you doing here?" she asked as she finally noticed Chris.

"Just...talking with Trent," he replied awkwardly.

"Whatever," Mae said, shifting her attention back to Trent. "Well, the surprise is ruined but yeah I guess that's on me. Anyway, hope you enjoyed it?"

"Yeah, it was awesome. You're good...and thank you, for learning to play it just for me," he said.

Mae grinned. "You're welcome. I kinda have a crush on you," she replied.

Melody giggled. "You're really cute."

"Oh my God, I am not," Mae replied.

"I meant the both of you together," she said.

"Well, whatever," Mae said.

"Oh my God," Chris groaned.

They all turned to look at him. He was staring at them with wide, stricken eyes. "What?" Trent asked uncertainly.

"Um…" He continued staring at them, then looked down at the bottle in his hand. It was mostly empty. He suddenly drained it and then set it on the picnic table and began fumbling in his pockets. He pulled out a cigarette and a lighter. "Uh, don't mind me, I need a smoke."

He turned and walked off, back towards the parking lot. They watched him go.

"What's his problem?" Mae muttered as she strummed the guitar.

"Yeah, what happened?" Gregg asked.

"I think I know," Trent replied.

"Super curious to hear," Mae said.

"That expression seemed like one of revelation. He just had an emotional nuke dropped on him. Probably from seeing you doing something really sweet and kind for me."

"Oh, and he's realizing he's never had that?" Mae asked.

"Probably."

"...mmm. I guess I can relate." She paused. "Okay, so I can mega relate, I more mean I guess I can summon up some measure of sympathy for how he's feeling. It feels less though because I know he's had like ten girlfriends at least."

"Mmm…" Trent murmured, glancing back at him. He was standing near the edge of the clearing now, pacing slowly, puffing away on a cigarette.

"What? Am I wrong? I mean come on, at least he can have a half-assed relationship. Better than being a forever alone loser," she muttered.

"I mean, is it?" Trent asked. She looked at him, one eyebrow cocked curiously. "I mean, I don't know, I think it depends on who you are but...I think being around someone who you are dating but still feeling alone is worse than actually just being alone."

"...yeah okay, I think I'll give you that. Theoretically, though."

"It wasn't like that with Cole?" he asked.

"No. We didn't really click, but I can't pretend like he was neglectful. He was there, he tried, I'm just a shit girlfriend."

"No you aren't," Trent said.

"I…" Mae slowly closed her mouth, pursed her lips for a moment, blinked. "Huh. I'm not even sure why I said that. I'm not even in a bad mood. Um...sorry. Ignore that. I meant, he was there, even if we weren't good together. Eh, whatever." She started playing Lost Love again.

"I didn't actually get to give him advice," Melody said.

"What kind of advice?" Gregg asked.

"How to treat women better," she replied.

"Eh…" Mae muttered.

"Is it such a bad idea? He could sure use some advice," Gregg said.

"I'm worried he'll take the advice and use it to get into chick's pants while still being a shithead. But it's your call...hey, did you two fuck already?" Mae asked.

Melody giggled. "How could you tell?"

"Trent's got that 'I fucked a hot chick' walk," Mae replied.

The rabbit sitting next to her frowned suddenly. "Wait...so who are you dating?" he asked. "I-you and him are together, right Mae?"

"Yes, Trent's my boyfriend. Melody's his...friend. Our friend," Mae replied.

"We're just having fun," Melody said.

"Uh, okay," he said.

Mae passed the guitar back to him. "Thanks for letting me borrow it."

"Yeah, no problem."

Mae stood up and fumbled around in the pockets of the baggy cargo shorts she was wearing, finally coming up with a joint and a lighter.

"You want to talk to him, don't you?" she asked after lighting up and taking a few puffs.

"Yeah," Trent replied. He looked at Mae when she didn't say anything. "You think I'm dumb for that."

"No," she said. "I don't think you're dumb. I used to think you were a little crazy and way too nice."

"Used to?" Melody asked.

"Yeah. After that conversation we had in the jeep after he saved Trent's life, I...think I get it now. Why you help him. I don't know if I get it with my brain, but I think I get it with my heart. Even if it doesn't really make sense, it feels like the right thing to do," Mae said. "I still don't want to actually talk to him, though."

"I don't either," Melody said.

"I should," Trent replied.

"Why?" Gregg asked.

"He's trying, like still," Trent said after thinking about it for a moment. "That seems significant. I dunno...maybe I feel like too many people are basically like 'get better on your own', you know what I mean? I know everyone is all 'you should get better for yourself!' but, like, we're a race of beings who evolved to be part of a community? You can't just do things in isolation. I mean come on, I know you all have tried to be better, and there came times when it felt like 'what's the point? No one gives a shit, what difference does it make if I have these problems if no one ever talks to me or tries to help me or even is just nice to me?', right?"

Gregg sighed after a moment. "Yeah."

"...yeah," Mae admitted. "God, I felt like what's the point of anything in college. I didn't even make one friend. Like literally not one. That's how fucking weird and antisocial I was. I tried...fuck me, man, you've got the patience of a saint."

Trent chuckled awkwardly. "Well...don't go that far. It'd be different if he was still being a dick to me."

"That's a good point," Gregg murmured.

"Mae, Gregg, are you cool with absorbing Melody into your group for a bit?" he asked.

"Yeah," Gregg said.

"Yeah, totally," Mae agreed. "Let's find some people and play charades! I just found an app on my phone for it and there's nothing more hilarious than seeing Gregg trying to be something and his head almost exploding because he can't talk but he wants to so bad!"

"That's weirdly specific," Trent said, laughing.

"Oh whatever! Everything you do just looks like you taking a dump!" Gregg replied.

"Bullshit!"

"Melody, is there anything you want me to tell him?" Trent asked.

"Yeah. Tell him...well, I'm sure you've covered a lot of the basic stuff. I mean, shit, you probably know more about how to treat women than I do, given you date so many of them. I guess...ask him if he eats pussy."

Mae snorted and spat out the Lime Fiasco she was drinking. "What!?"

"I mean it's important," Melody replied.

"Well yeah it is, but like, what?"

"It's important to a woman's pleasure and, more than that, it tells you what kind of person he is. Is he a selfish hypocrite? I bet he doesn't. That's my advice," she replied.

"I'll pass it along," Trent said. "Um...let me know if you need anything." He kissed Melody and then Mae. As they headed off, he took a moment to look around. He spied Bea and Angus sitting on a big rock a bit back from the fire, talking about something, laughing occasionally. Claire and Ann were among a group of other people, also talking and laughing. It felt like a good time.

He looked again at Chris. He was still in the same spot, facing away from everyone, staring into the woods. Trent sighed and began walking towards him. This felt so weird. He doubted they would ever be friends, and even he didn't fully understand his own motivation. Maybe it really was that simple. Maybe he just wanted to do something nice, and recognize that another person was struggling against their own inner asshole.

He made sure he wasn't quiet or subtle in his approach, so Chris wouldn't get jumpscared. He was sitting on a picnic table now.

"Who is that?" Chris asked when he got close enough. He didn't turn around. He sounded tired.

"Trent," he replied.

"What do you want?"

"Um...I guess I'm...making sure you're okay?"

Chris was silent for a moment, and then finally he slowly turned around, looking at Trent over his shoulder, cigarette dangling from his lip. He looked confused, and tired.

"Why?" he asked finally. He stood up suddenly and turned fully to face him. "You could've walked so many times. I know I've asked this before, but I still don't get it. I'd've told you to just fuck off a dozen times already if our roles were reversed."

Trent frowned. "Honestly, that's what they all ask me, too. Although Mae gets it now. I mean, she at least understands emotionally why I do what I do. I think that kind of helped parse it. You said you wanted to do the right thing when you saved my ass. Helping you is the right thing. Also...if it also helps put it into perspective: I would not be helping you nearly this much if you were more of a dickhead to me."

Chris stared at him for a moment in silence, then started laughing. "Well that makes sense at least."

"So...what life nuke got tactically dropped on you back there?" Trent asked.

He lost his smile, sighing. Chris took a long drag off his cigarette, puffed out a cloud of smoke. "Seeing what Mae did for you, like...I don't know, man. I had like a double-whammy. It was two nukes. The first was: holy shit, this is what a good relationship looks like. Like a real one, where you actually like each other, and you aren't just dating each other because of what you can offer. Like, Mae-" he hesitated.

"You're about to say something shitty about my girlfriend, aren't you?"

"Yeah. But not, like, on purpose. Or, I mean, I don't mean it to be shitty, or…" he sighed in frustration. "I'm not trying to be a dickhead, but these are just my thoughts. And I can't really explain how I feel without saying shitty things?"

"Go ahead," Trent said.

"All right...thanks. Mae's weird looking. She isn't hot, she doesn't have a job, she's so fucking weird, and she's creepy. And yet...you don't care. I mean, you wouldn't give a fuck about any of that even if it was just the two of you. I just thought...shit, I don't know what I thought about why you were dating her and Bea at the same time. More the merrier, I guess? Maybe she gives amazing head...I'm seriously not trying to be a dick, man."

"I know," Trent said. "It's just, you're saying this shit about my-basically my wife. Okay? And I understand, it isn't coming from a place of hatred or cruelty, but I'm not going to be able to keep a poker face throughout it. Just...keep going."

"All right. Anyway, my point is, you guys love each other. It isn't bullshit. You aren't with each other just because you couldn't get anyone else. And that stuff about her doesn't bother you, does it?"

"No," Trent replied, "it doesn't. I think she's hot. I like her personality. I love the shit she's into. I love that she's trying to be a better person. And I'm grateful that I can be with her, and be there to help her, and that she's here to help me."

"All right, that's so real, is the thing. And so, I don't know, just seeing that...like, there was this part of me that was maybe convinced, I don't know, I was missing something. That somehow the relationship was...fake? But it isn't. But that isn't even the biggest part of all this. The thing that really hit me was the realization that I'd fucking had this before. The feeling that I felt when I saw you reacting to Mae having learned that song for you, I'd actually had that in a relationship. Senior year. Her name was Wendy. She actually gave a fucking shit about me."

"What happened?" Trent asked.

Chris opened his mouth, then sighed heavily and shook his head. His guilt and shame was immediately obvious. "You'll call me the dumbest motherfucker in history."

"I mean I might not," Trent replied.

He sighed again and closed his eyes. Took a few more puffs on his cigarette. "I cheated on her," he said. "And I thought...she'd be impressed."

"...what?" Trent asked. "I don't think I heard that right."

"Nope, you did. Jesus Christ, I can't believe I just admitted that," he muttered.

"Chris."

"I know."

"That isn't just the dumbest fucking thing I've ever heard in my life...that's like...psycho shit. That's like literally fucking American Psycho Patrick Bateman shit, dude. Where did you get that idea? I have to know."

Chris took a few more puffs on his cigarette, eyes still closed. He was actually wincing now. "Me and my friends had gotten our hands on this, like, underground player's handbook? Some super sketch dude from Mulvey sold it to us. It was a real book, but kind of poorly made. There was all sorts of weird shit in it. I mean, a lot of stuff that's online now from pickup artists. I thought it was, like, the Bible of hooking up."

"And it told you to cheat on your girlfriend? To impress her?"

"It made sense at the time."

"Did it? Did it really?" he asked. Chris finally opened his eyes and looked at him. Trent sighed and shook his head. "Sorry, that's laying it on kind of thick, I just-I can't believe this. I mean, I can, but...what actually happened?"

"I was at a party. It was just after graduation. Wendy wasn't there, her...oh my fucking God I want to shoot myself in the face, her grandma was sick and in the hospital and she was visiting and helping out. I know, dude, don't say anything. There was a girl at the party, too. Lisa. We used to date. She never got over me, she was...pretty hot. She came onto me. I let her. We fucked in my friend's truck. And I wasn't subtle about it. A lot of people saw us. I waited for her to find out. She did. She blew up at me. She shredded me. Slashed my tires, broke two of my car windows. She was so pissed. And I was so sure she was going to come crawling back."

"What was supposed to happen? Like I'm genuinely curious as to how this was supposed to go?" Trent asked.

Chris sighed and sat down on the table. "Either she would be into it and pretend to be mad, or she wouldn't and she'd be actually mad. Either way, I was to 'fight' with her, and then let her go be pissed. She'd either say that she was okay with it because she always was, or she'd come to her senses and realize I was the dominant, desirable man who could fuck any chick he wanted, but he chose to stay with her...emotionally. Not physically, obviously...goddamnit you don't have to look at me like I'm the dumbest motherfucker in history."

"No!" Trent replied. "That's not-this is amazing."

"...what's 'amazing'?"

"The fact that you not just understand how fucking stupid these thoughts were, but you're admitting it to someone else, is, like...huge. It's good," Trent replied.

"Oh...why?" Chris asked.

"It's kind of like...a sign that it's working? A big sign. It's sort of like if you're super sick and you've got all this shit wrong with you and you take some medicine but you can't tell if it's working, and then...your fever is better or you can actually breathe through your nose. That means it's working. It means you're doing the right thing, and it's a great idea to keep on doing it."

"Huh." He was silent for a moment. He finished his cigarette and prepared to flick it away. He hesitated. "I guess littering is an asshole thing to do."

"Yes it is," Trent agreed.

"We're, like, in the woods though…"

"That kind of makes it worse. I mean at least in a city there's at least the chance someone will sweep it up. Also, you never know when your casually flicked cigarette might start a forest fire."

"Oh...that's a good point." He sighed, stubbed it out on the bottom of his boot, then, after a moment's hesitation, slipped it into his pocket. "So, yeah, anyway...I fucked up the only truly good relationship that I had by doing the dumbest shit ever. Honestly I just feel like an asshole looking back on it. She was so cool, and she was really nice to me, and I treated her like shit for no reason."

"Is this actually the first time you're feeling this way about it? I mean you didn't feel this way at all after you broke up?" Trent asked.

"No, I mean, I did. I felt a lot of things, but yeah, I felt like a dick and a moron and I regretted it. Mostly I regretted it because it didn't work, but yeah, I also felt like a stupid asshole. I tried apologizing to her once but she just hung up on me."

"Would you have done the same? If your roles were reversed?" Trent asked.

He sighed. "Yeah."

A long moment of silence went by. Trent looked back at the party. He saw Bea standing near the edge of the group with Angus nearby. She was giving him a curious look. He gave her a thumbs up. She stared at him for a moment longer, then seemed to shrug and turned back to Angus. When Trent looked back, he saw that Chris was looking at her.

"I've got a weird question," Trent said.

"I'm listening," he replied.

"Why were you so obsessed with Bea?" Chris sighed and lit up a fresh cigarette. "I'm seriously not trying to fuck with you. It's a real question."

"Yeah, I know," he muttered. "You don't even have to fuck with me. Shit, I dunno...probably because she's the first woman to ever turn me down?"

"What, seriously? Everyone you ever asked out said yes?" Trent asked.

"Well...no. I guess I can't claim that. But for the most part, it was yes. The only times I was ever turned down was because they already had a boyfriend or, twice, because they were just into chicks. But I've had a few who told me no and they were really pissy about it and we ended up hooking up anyway, because they were into me and mad about it."

"Did that feel good?" Trent asked.

Chris looked at him for a moment. "Are you a fucking therapist or something with these questions?"

"I've had to learn a lot about psychology very quickly in the past six months," Trent replied.

"Well...that tracks. It did, yeah, until...I dunno. After the third time it happened, it just felt like they were fucking me to get it out of their system. And they were embarrassed or ashamed. And it's like there were two parts to that. I felt good about it, because it's like I was so hot to them they had to go against themselves just to get to me. But on the other hand, it started making me feel like crap. Like they can't fucking stand me and even during it wasn't even like hate sex, it was just like...looking at your watch, come on and let's get this over with sex. No matter how good I was, they were just annoyed. Like I was a chore."

"So sex didn't make you feel better in that scenario," Trent said.

Chris sighed explosively. "Jesus Christ, Floyd, yes!"

"...Floyd? Like...like Pink Floyd? What?"

"No, like that fucking guy? The fucking psychologist who said every dude wants to bang his mom. Sigmund Floyd?"

"Oh. Um...his name was actually Freud."

"...whatever, you know what I mean."

"Yeah, I do. So that's why you were after Bea?"

"I mean there were other reasons. She's hot as fuck, and she's really smart, but like in a practical way? Like she knows her shit, and she doesn't put up with any shit. And that just is really awesome. She always seemed really...unapproachable, I guess. I think part of it was that I'd never really been in a situation where I was around a chick who I wanted to date but didn't ask out. At least not if they were single. And I didn't really know how to talk with her? I guess I thought she had a boyfriend but he just never came around, and then eventually I figured out she was single, and so I started trying to hit on her. And then you showed up, and now we're talking at a party about it...fuck, what even is this? Our talks are always insane," he muttered.

"There's probably some German word to describe it, but I think it's kind of like Goku and Vegeta. Although I guess that's meaningless to you," Trent replied.

"What? No. Holy shit, you watched DBZ?" Chris asked.

"Yeah, I watched the fuck out of it through elementary school and middle school, even into high school for awhile. I stopped after Buu, though, and even that was a struggle, but it had one of the coolest Vegeta arcs in the series."

"That shit was my fucking jam," he said, then he just stared at Trent for a moment, looking frustrated. Finally he shook his head. "Goddamnit."

"What?"

"You're actually really fucking cool, and that...pisses me off. It's fucking annoying," he muttered. He shook his head again and puffed on his cigarette. "I think we should probably wrap this up. This is getting to be a bit much."

"That's cool," Trent said. "Um...two things I wanted to say."

"Kay."

"First thing is...I guess I'll get this out of the way first: Melody's advice. She didn't get a chance to tell you what you asked for, but she sent me over here with something to say. So...do you eat pussy?"

"What?"

"Do you eat pussy?"

"I mean...some. Not much," he replied.

"You should always offer."

"That's her advice?"

"Yeah, and she didn't elaborate too much on it, but I think I know what she's getting at. It's fair play. I mean it's nice to do, mostly because it seems like it's just the most powerful thing you can do to get a chick off besides maybe a vibrator. But besides that, I think it's a good thing to do to help sort of keep yourself in check? Or down to Earth maybe? Or, I guess, keeping it real? I don't know. You can't just have the chick do everything to you and not do anything for her, and eating pussy, I think, helps indicate to the woman that you're, you know, reasonable. And fair. It's a fair play sort of thing. Now...all that being said, if you're seriously not into it, then it's okay to say 'I don't like doing that', but it's also okay if a chick says the same thing about sucking dick. Also, I'm just going to throw this in there really quick: don't ever just spring something on a chick in the middle of sex. They fucking hate that."

"Spring like how?" Chris asked.

"Like if you're doing it, and you start choking her, for example. Or spanking her? Or slapping? Like, it's very, very important that you talk about it. You ask. I guess that's like a huge problem nowadays? Guys will just start choking chicks in the middle of a hookup."

"What if she's into it?" he asked.

"Then she will tell you when you ask her. Like, I get the idea, the concept. It's surprising and fun and sexy...in your head. But in reality? I'd say like ninety five percent of chicks would be unhappy just being choked in the middle of sex, no warning. Even if they're into it. I mean if you're willing to flip the coin and hazard a guess that she's into it, then you should acknowledge the odds. What if she's not into it? What if she's got trauma from being choked by someone in the past? What if she's got some kind of medical problem related to that? But bottom line: they deserve to be asked."

"Okay, yeah...you made your point. I mean I don't really do that with choking, but...yeah, okay. I hear you: eat more pussy and don't just surprise chicks with stuff."

"Exactly. I mean you'd fucking hate it if some chick started trying to shove something up your ass in the middle of sex, right?"

"Yes! Point made," Chris replied, exasperated.

"Okay, sorry. It's just-this is a big deal."

"Can't believe you are fucking giving me sex advice. Although I guess I should fucking listen since you've got three fucking girlfriends and my sister on the side, and now, what two other chicks? Or is it more now?"

"Um…"

"Don't tell me," he said. "I don't-whatever. Nevermind. What's the other thing?"

"This conversation? This was actually really chill. Melody was telling you earlier how you put out bad vibes, like you might suddenly turn violent, and she was right. But this? I never actually felt afraid you were going to try and take a swing at me. You were actually really cool and relaxed throughout this interaction, and that's good. Women love that. Everyone loves that. So...aim for that."

"Noted," Chris replied.

"All right. Um...thanks again for saving my ass, and Gregg's. Um...later."

"Later."