It was first thing in the morning, and Jack had just stabled his rouncey, Angus. He'd been up early, again looking for a location for a new store. He'd found a couple of places and needed to speak with Ethan.

He saw Sam walking up to the Mercantile and, as usual, she was one of the first people to get here for the day. He'd always been amazed at how little sleep she seemed to need, and things obviously hadn't changed on Hjem.

"Mornin' Sam," he called with a nod. He didn't wait for her as he knew it made her uncomfortable. It meant they would have to speak to one another without the presence of their friends or other employees. It was sad it had come to this.

"Morning Sir," she answered calmly as she began to follow him into the store. Before they reached it, there was a noise, and both turned to look.

Pulling up, with a carriage and two rouncies, was a man neither had seen before. He waved and called out a greeting which Sam answered with a smile. She stepped down from the porch and walked towards the man, expecting the Colonel to follow.

It was only when she realized that he hadn't that she turned around. What she saw shocked her. Jack stood frozen, his face totally white and a look of absolute terror on his face. Completely forgetting the man in the wagon, she took a step towards the Colonel.

"Jack, what is it? What's wrong?" He didn't answer, but she realized he was staring at the newcomer. That made her turn around again, this time to face the stranger. He was looking with interest at the Colonel.

"Hello," she said, walking towards him, hoping to distract him from the frozen man on the stairs who still looked as if he'd seen a particularly terrifying ghost. "Are you here for supplies?" she asked.

"Well," the man answered charmingly, "yes and no. I need some supplies, but what I'm really looking for is information."

"Information?" she asked, wondering who this man was. "What kind of information?"

"I'm looking for my brother and his friends. We were supposed to meet up months ago, but they never showed up and I've been searching for them ever since."

"I see," she frowned. "I'm afraid I don't know too many people here as I'm relatively new," she told him. "I suggest going to the nearest Security Station and asking there." The Security Station was the equivalent of a police station back home. The difference was the officers didn't have guns – or any thing equivalent as there were few, if any, violent crimes. Generally, they were pretty helpful and well-liked in the community.

"Mmm – well, you see, I'm not that fond of Security officers. Not that I'm bad," he quickly told her with a grin, "it's just I don't find them that helpful. They would probably only know my brother if he'd gotten into trouble."

"I hope he didn't," she said calmly, her eyebrows raised.

He grinned again. "Well, maybe a little bit, but he's pretty smart and generally keeps out of trouble. So, I thought I'd ask around here if anyone had seen him. If he and his friends came this way they would need supplies."

"I see," she nodded. She could still feel that Jack was behind her, but as yet he hadn't said a thing. Just then, however, she could hear him move. She glanced at him, to see him almost beside her. She noticed that he was still pale looking, but he seemed slightly more in control of himself.

"Hi," the stranger said with a big smile. "And who might you be?"

"I should probably ask that question first," Jack replied.

After a brief pause, during which the man's eyes narrowed slightly and the smile left his face, the two men looked at one another, clearly sizing each other up. It was probably only for a moment that they stood there, but to Sam it felt like forever. Something was going on here, she realized, although she had no idea what it was.

Finally, the man once again smiled, his charming mask slipping back into place. "I guess I should introduce myself. My name is Leron. So, now can I ask yours?" he looked back and forth at the two of them.

"I'm Samantha," Sam replied. "Nice to meet you."

"Likewise! And you sir?"

"Name's Jack," the Colonel answered shortly. "You said you were looking for your brother?"

"And his friends," clarified Leron.

"Who are they?"

"You mean their names or what they do?" Leron quipped.

"Both, I guess," Jack answered shortly.

"Well, my brother's name is Meron – we're identical twins, see, so he looks like me. And his friends are Alid and Donar. We all grew up together."

When the stranger gave his brother's name, she could hear Jack take a sharp breath. She glanced at him, to see a strange expression on his face. On the one hand he seemed almost relieved but on the other, he was looking unsteady and unsure of himself, something definitely unusual for the Colonel. She hoped the other man didn't notice, although she suspected he was much smarter than he appeared.

"I don't recognize the names," Jack told him. "Sam?"

"Uh no, I don't either."

"Hmm, that's surprising," Leron frowned. "They must have come by here at some point. This is the closest city to where they were travelling."

"There are other mercantiles," Jack told him. "It's a big city."

"True, true – but this is on the route they planned to travel. Oh well, I guess I'll just have to keep looking."

"What did they do," Jack asked suddenly. Sam glanced at him quickly in surprise. There was a strange tone to his voice.

"Do? Well – they were – adventurers," Leron answered with a smirk.

"Adventurers? What does that mean?" Jack asked.

"They were looking for fun and fortune," Meron's brother laughed. "Maybe they found it and are holed up in some pleasure palace somewhere."

"Could be," Jack said. "Forgive me. I must get to work. I'm sorry we couldn't help you."

"No worries," the man answered. "I'm just gonna tie up my horse and do some shopping. Might as well, as long as I'm here."

Jack nodded sharply and walked to the door of the mercantile. Sam gave the stranger a smile, not because she liked him, but for some reason he worried her, and she didn't want to stir up anything. She then turned and followed the Colonel. She was dying to know what was going on and hoped to be able to ask him.

Unfortunately, she didn't have a chance, since Leron followed them almost immediately and spent well over an hour looking through the store. During that whole time Jack seemed distracted and was still pale.

"So, is there any place around here to stay? I need a hostel or something where I can stable my rouncies."

"Uh, I'm not sure. Jack? Do you know of anything close by?"

"No," he said shortly. "I suggest you head into town a few kilometers. There are more places there."

"Kilometers? Mmm, I don't know about that." Leron looked at Sam and eyed her up and down. "I'd kind of like to stay close by for a while."

Sam felt a shiver run up her spine, suddenly sympathizing with how Jack was obviously feeling. She really didn't like this man, although the Colonel's reaction still seemed extreme.

Jack shrugged and turned to serve another customer. Sam gave Leron a small smile and then excused herself. The man gathered his things, gave her a wink and told her he'd "see her soon," and then he was gone.

As soon as Leron left, and after he'd finished with his customer, Jack headed towards the back door. He looked as if he was running from something. She frowned and called one of their clerks over, asking him to watch things as she went to check on Jack.

She left through the back door but didn't see him. A few seconds later, though, she heard him. He was around the corner of the house and was very clearly throwing up.

"Jack!" she walked quickly around the side, to see him leaning up against the building. "Are you okay?"

"Go away," he grunted.

"But you're sick. What -"

"Go away, Carter," he snapped. "Just leave me alone."

She watched him for a second and then nodded. She walked back the way she had come, but stopped as soon as she was out of sight. She heard him being sick once more, and then there was nothing but silence. Something was seriously wrong, although she couldn't figure out what. It had something to do with Leron, but neither he nor the Colonel seemed to know one another, so it was all very puzzling.

When she heard movement from around the corner, she quickly made her way back to the store. She didn't want Jack to catch her, knowing he'd be furious to find her hovering.

The Mercantile quickly grew busy, and Sam didn't have a chance to speak to the Colonel when he returned a few minutes later, or to ask what the hell was going on. She was also pretty sure that Jack was intentionally avoiding her. Both of them had become good at avoidance over the last few months. But, this was extreme.

By the end of the day, she was no wiser and still hadn't been able to talk to Jack. To her eyes he looked - off, although he managed to appear okay to their customers. Even the ones that knew him didn't seem to notice anything wrong.

Maybe she was crazy and was reading something into the whole situation that didn't really exist. Maybe he'd just caught some kind of flu bug.

But no – Jack's reaction had been extreme and immediate when he saw Leron. She needed to find out what was going on.

It was a couple of days before she had a chance to ask him anything. It was late and the store was about to close. The next day was the Rest day and she was looking forward to – well – resting. She'd been working hard all week, as had Jack, Ethan and all the employees. They were getting busier and busier every day.

She was ready to head home when she happened to see Jack sitting in the small garden out back. Normally she would never think to disturb him, but she needed to find out what was happening and why he'd been – was – so upset. He was still acting strangely and it worried her.

"May I sit beside you, Sir?" she asked.

Jack looked up from the bench in surprise. Sam had never asked to sit with him, at least not since they'd been stranded on Hjem. It used to be normal, especially in the Commissary, but those days were long gone. He moved over to give her some room.

"Sure Carter," he told her. He then grew silent and continued to stare into the distance.

"Sir – Jack?"

"Yeah?" he glanced at her quizzically. "What's up?"

"Well – I wanted to ask you about that man – Leron. The one who was here the other day."

Jack's jaw clenched and he looked away from her. He was also quiet for so long she was sure he wasn't going to answer. It was only then that she glanced at his hands. They were abnormally still, for him, but she could see that they were shaking slightly. She was even more curious, and definitely more worried when she noticed that.

"He's the brother of one of the guys who captured me," he finally admitted.

"The brother of – you mean the ones here on this planet?"

"No, the ones on Chulak! Of course the ones here," he said sarcastically.

She could feel a spark of anger at his sarcasm, but then forced herself to calm down. He was upset and she had to cut him some slack.

"I'm sorry, Carter," he said suddenly. "I don't mean to snap at you. It's just – it brought up a lot of things I could do without."

"He said he's a twin. Does he look like his brother?"

"Oh yeah," laughed Jack, without a smidgeon of humor. "When I saw him, I thought it was Meron coming back to haunt me!"

"Haunt you? You mean he's dead?"

Jack looked at her out of the corner of his eye and then shrugged. "Yeah," was all he answered.

Sam grimaced, although quickly relaxed her face, not wanting the Colonel to notice. Jack must have had to kill the man – or men – to get away and she was the last one to blame him for that. They'd been in that position before and she knew he would have done it only if it was necessary. Seeing Meron's brother must really have been a shock then. "Are you okay, Sir?" she asked suddenly.

"Of course," he replied, looking as if he was about to stand. "Why wouldn't I be? It's not like it's the same man who – captured me."

She reached out her hand and gently touched his arm. She was startled when he pulled sharply away, but then he gave her an apologetic smile and relaxed slightly.

"Sorry," he said. "You startled me."

She didn't think it was that but decided not to pursue it. Now that she thought about it, however, she realized that Jack – the "new" Jack avoided touching people – except the boys. She hadn't really noticed it before because of their relationship – or lack thereof. Jack had always been someone who seemed to crave physical contact. It wasn't in any kind of inappropriate or creepy way, but he would often give his comrades a pat on the back or a nudge – or at times of need would give his special "Jack hug." She'd been the recipient on more than one occasion, and they were always precipitated by his "C'mere." She had always loved those hugs.

"Is there any way his brother could find out what happened?" She asked, after a few seconds of silence.

"I don't see how," Jack shrugged. "I – uh – Zatted everything."

"Everthing?" she asked, startled.

"Well, everything except my stuff and the rouncies. I couldn't hurt the beasts – they were innocent in everything."

She nodded, frowning. "Could he recognize them?" She was worried that Leron would discover that Jack had killed his brother and either take revenge or report him to the Security office. Either would be bad.

"Maybe, although unlike back home they don't brand their animals here. And anyway, I sold em. I took the money and bought Angus. I wanted nothing that could connect me to the bastards!"

"That's good news Sir. I was a bit worried. The guy gives me the creeps."

Jack glanced at her a frown furrowed between his brows. "He does?"

"Yeah. There's something – I don't know – off about him. I also think he's smart and that we should keep an eye on him."

"Good to know," the Colonel answered softly. "I – thought it might just be me – because of his resemblance to – but I'm glad you pointed it out. We'll have to be careful."

"Mmm hmm. For some reason I think he suspects something, although I don't know what or why."

Jack gave a snort at that. "Probably because of my reaction. I was pretty startled and don't think I hid it very well."

She couldn't disagree, and was still surprised by that reaction. She'd never seen Jack act in such a way. Even after being captured by Ba'al and tortured for days, he'd still managed to treat the System Lord with his special kind of contempt and sarcasm. Never once had she seen him show any kind of fear or anger, even though she was sure that at least the anger was there.

It made her begin to wonder what had really happened to him. She'd accepted that he'd been captured, and hurt, but that was not an uncommon occurrence for any member of Sg1. They dealt with it and moved on and she'd assumed the Colonel would do the same. She needed to find out more.

"I'm – sorry you had to deal with those men," she said tentatively.

He shrugged but didn't look at her. "It's past history, Carter," was all he said.

"Was it bad?"

"What difference does it make?" he asked, finally turning towards her.

She was startled at the look in his eyes. They looked hurt – and bitter. "Well, sometimes talking about -"

"Oh yeah," he interrupted. "Talking always makes things better. But since you obviously haven't wanted to talk to me since you walked into the store a couple of months ago, I don't know why you'd want to start now!"

She took a deep breath. "We're still friends, Sir," she started to say. Before she could continue, he'd stood up and looked down at her.

"Friends? With friends like you, Sam," he stopped and laughed. "Look, I know you're angry at me, that you hate me, so let's just leave it, okay?"

"I'm not…"

"DON'T," he snapped. "Don't lie. I'm guilty, okay? I left you and you almost died. I broke my promise, and I don't blame you, but don't pretend all is roses and rainbows now. Let's just – leave it."

For some reason his words caused the anger to boil up and finally over. Sam stood up and looked directly at her commanding officer.

"YES I'M ANGRY," she shouted. "You promised, Sir. You said you'd be back, but you left me. Oh, I know you were captured, but that never stopped you before. If you'd really meant what you said, if you really cared about me you would have found a way to escape a lot sooner! I know you were hurt, but you did make your way back to where you left me, so it couldn't have been that bad. I bet if I was Daniel or Teal'c – especially Teal'c, you would have found a way!"

"Teal'c?" he asked in confusion.

"Yeah, because you wouldn't want your image to suffer with the boys club. Big, bad Colonel Jack O'Neill, the man who never leaves anyone behind – except you left me! You left me to die, Jack. You left me in pain and fear and now my career is ruined. I'm maimed for life, and you promised you'd come back." She suddenly stopped, realizing that tears were running down her face and she had trouble catching her breath.

After a moment she looked directly at Jack – who was paper white, although he too looked angry.

"You're right, Carter. I left you. I didn't come back in time and for that I will never forgive myself. I accept that you hate me – I've accepted it and have been careful to give you space. But now, don't suddenly decide that we're "friends" and that I'm going to bare my soul to you. You can't have it both ways!"

The anger and bitterness had poured out of Sam, but now she was left exhausted and sick at heart. It was as if all of the anger was suddenly gone, the anger and the resentment, and she was left with nothing but regret. She had hurt him – hurt him terribly – for something that she knew really wasn't his fault.

She sat down on the bench, feeling as if all her bones had disappeared and she was no longer able to stand. "I'm sorry," she whispered, unable to look at him. "I'm so sorry, Jack. I don't know why I said those things. I didn't – no, that's a lie, I did mean it, but I know I' was unfair. It wasn't your fault. I've known that for a long time, but it's as if my subconscious wouldn't let it go. I know I hurt you and I'm so, so sorry. Please," she said, finally looking up at where he stood, his face carved from stone. "Please forgive me."

He stood there for what seemed the longest time, and she knew things hung in the balance. The question was whether he would forgive her – or himself. "You have nothing to feel guilty about," she prodded him. "It was beyond your control, and I know you would have returned if you possibly could."

She saw him sigh, and then he too moved and practically fell on the seat beside her. He sat there for a long, long time, but she waited, if not patiently, then at least without trying to pressure him or say anything. There was really nothing else she could say.

"Why?" he asked suddenly. "Why do you hate me so much if you say you know it isn't my fault."

"I don't hate you," she said gently. "As to why I was so angry? I've thought about that, and I realize it was my fault, not yours."

When he went to speak, she put up her hand to stop him. "No, listen," she told him, with a tiny smile. "You were – are – my hero. For all the years we've worked together I've looked up to you, admired you more than anyone else I know. You saved me – hell, you saved our team, our world, our galaxy more times than I can count."

"Hey, you've done your fair share of savin'," he pointed out, sounding embarrassed.

"Yes, but only because you believed in me," she told him. "I'd spent my career as "the geek" or as someone who'd gotten to where she was by riding on Daddy's coattails. But Jack, you believed in me, and made me believe in myself. And you did the same for Daniel and for Teal'c. All of us were lost, in one way or another, but you pulled us together, made us into the best damned team in the Universe. You respected us, pushed us, made us better – and you always cared for us."

"I'm not perfect, Sam," he pointed out, looking even more uncomfortable.

"No," she laughed, "you're not, thank God! But even your faults made us l – love and respect you even more, because you showed that you were human. You were never arrogant or dismissive with anyone, except maybe System Lords, and weasely politicians. Jack, I believed – no I believe in you. And I realize that because of that I held you up on a pedestal that no one could maintain. It's your very humanity that makes you the amazing person you are, but it also means you aren't infallible – and it was wrong of me to expect you to be. I'm so, so sorry."

He sighed, and rubbed his eyes, feeling uncomfortable with her words. He was far from the hero she called him, although, at the same time, he did felt a sense of relief and of gratitude. He wanted – no needed – Sam's friendship, even though that was all they could ever have. She thought he was amazing, and yet she was one of the most amazing people their universe had ever produced.

But she was fallible too, he suddenly realized. She had been angry and held a grudge, even though she knew he hadn't intentionally left her. So, she wasn't quite perfect, which made him l – er like her even more.

"So, I don't have to avoid you anymore?" he asked suddenly.

"No," she smiled, "I hope you don't."

"And I can bug you about your technobabble?"

"Yes," she answered, "although I haven't really had an opportunity to use any – uh – technobabble."

"Okay, just making sure in case it comes up. And I can tell my jokes again, right?"

We-ell," she said, although at his look she laughed. "Of course, Sir. I like your jokes."

"No need to lie, Carter" he grinned. She was pretty sure it was the first grin she'd seen from him since they'd landed on the planet.

"But you're still not allowed to giggle, Major," he told her sternly.

"Uh okay, Colonel, but why not?"

"Because – hell, your giggles are much too distracting."

They sat in companionable silence for a few more minutes until Jack once again spoke. "I'll still always blame myself, you know that don't you Carter?"

"If you do, you'll be a fool Jack," she said bluntly. "Why don't we chalk the whole thing up to another Sg1Fubar mission, and look ahead, not behind."

He nodded, although inside he knew that wasn't going to happen. Oh, he could and would probably deal with his guilt over Carter, as logically he knew there was nothing he could have done. But his experiences on Varid has scarred him deeply and there was no getting over that.

"I'm – glad – things are better between us, Carter. I really need my 2IC. You and I work well together."

She nodded although she also gave him a sharp glance. He sounded as if he was keeping things professional again, even if there was no anger between them anymore. "Yes, we do Colonel. I hope we'll be friends as well – especially if we don't get off this planet."

He was quiet, but then gave a small smile and nod. Of course he wanted her friendship, but he knew he had to be careful. He could not let her feelings develop into anything more than friendship.

"Of course we'll be friends, Sam, just like before." There, maybe that was clear – at least he hoped so.

"We haven't done much in the way of looking for the Gate," she reminded him. "We should get going."

"I know. The Mercantile has been so busy it's been hard. Ethan has been so good to me, and he really needs the help. I also have to give the boys attention, and I've felt guilty about leaving them or the store. But I agree, we really have to start looking."

"Maybe we can figure something out with the store," she said. "And hopefully – soon - we can make it home."

Jack wasn't so sure he wanted to go home, but he nodded anyway. He didn't want to worry Sam any more than she was. But the truth was, his career was finished, and the thought of leaving the boys terrified him.

"Time to get going," he finally said. It's dinner time and I'm sure Magnus and Magda will be wondering where you are."

"You're right," she agreed, standing up and stretching. "Thank you Sir – and again, I'm so sorry for how I've behaved."

"Pfff, Carter, don't worry about it. Everything's good now. Just go home and relax. It's been a busy week."

"Have a good evening Sir."

He watched as his favorite person of all time walked away, a feeling of melancholy once again settling over him.

"Thank you, Sam," he whispered. He was grateful to have her friendship back. With a slight chuckle he made his way into the house, to the sound of two young imps calling his name.