It was a weird week.

Rock enjoyed it. He really did but he couldn't help but sit with the feeling like something was looming on the horizon. He just didn't know how to broach the topic or what to make of Ryuji's behavior. Whatever this change was, it did something to the man; made him climb closer in bed, made him lean more against Rock while cooking, overall being just a little gentler.

Overcompensating? Had he done something wrong? Suppose it would be explained by the end of the week, although Rock wasn't sure if he'd like the answer. But for what he had he was happy. He'd take it. He'd let Ryuji love him like that until whatever the issue was came at the week's end which was fast approaching.

Rock had a lot to tell Mother.

She had been privy to many things lately, for better and for worse. She knew about Freeman, she knew about Geese and Mai. She came to know about Ryuji. Just to soothe himself, Rock liked to imagine she looked over him from wherever she was in the afterlife, protecting him in some way or another. She couldn't always save him, but she could tip the scales just a bit. Thoughts like that helped to mitigate how shitty and cruel the world could otherwise be.

Rock bought the blue hydrangeas as usual and crossed the road towards the chapel and its adjacent graveyard. His heart sank a bit when he saw a black car with darkened windows in the parking lot, then lifted as he lay eyes on Ryuji standing by the fence.

"He's here. You wanna go?" he asked, nudging his head at the black car.

"Yeah," Rock nodded and opened the gate to the graveyard. Sure enough, there was a legion of black suits prancing around, keeping watch. They noticed the pair but didn't do much other than look at them warily. As did Billy, scowling at Ryuji – a gesture which was quickly returned in kind.

In the meantime, Rock headed past the other headstones until he reached the hill on which Mother's grave was. And Geese, leaving a bouquet of pinkish-purple flowers – again. He lifted his head, then moved aside so Rock could put the hydrangeas next to…whatever the hell those were. Suppose it all made sense the times Rock had been here and noticed the strange flowers. Suppose Mother's resting place had been discovered for a while now. He couldn't really feel bitter about it anymore.

"What are those flowers?" he asked instead.

"Tatarian asters. In the Hanakotoba, they mean remembrance," Geese said, still standoffish but a little less closed off. He pointed at the other flowers, and the mere movement caused Rock to flinch in case he'd get slapped again. "And those are hydrangeas. Her favorite color no less."

"Huh?"

It felt strange to have such a part of his mother echoed back to him from someone who probably shouldn't have remembered it. Even weirder to watch that someone smile just slightly for it.

"Your mother and I had many a playful argument about the arrangement of flowers. I strived for symbolism and meanings. Marie wanted the ones that looked best. Beyond the blue hydrangea, she adored the gardenia and became fascinated with queens of the night. A flower that blooms at night and wilts at dawn," Geese said, in a moment of bittersweet nostalgia.

Rock did not know that. Somewhere from the back of his mind, he recalled seeing gardenias on the windowsill of their old apartment. He always assumed she just bought those on a whim. But thinking of the letters, he remembered something about gratitude for gifted flowers. He remembered that he still had the binder of letters. Openly stating this made the heat crawl over the back of his neck.

"…I read the letters. I didn't burn them."

"That's good to hear. If you're gonna ask if I want them back, the answer is no. Keep them," something akin to warmth came over Geese as he looked at Rock. Happy? Pleased? Whatever it was, it didn't have as much coldness as his usual disposition.

He walked briskly (maybe a little stiffly) as he descended the hill, about to be flanked by his legion of black suits when Rock stopped him with a single question. One of many suddenly on the verge of spilling out. "Is it true that you couldn't take care of her-us because of the tower? And you planned to send me to Kain?"

This gave way to a pause in Geese as he turned around and stared up at the hill, darkness stretching over his face for a moment.

"…That was my reasoning, yes. But in hindsight, it was a flawed plan. I'm aware of that now," as he said that the darkness gave way to abject but measured melancholy. "And your uncle, the other one, did work for me even back then. It was one of the conditions for me to marry Marie. She thought he was a good and intelligent man, fit to look after you until things were ready. I permitted it only because she said you had her sensibilities."

Mother's temperament. It was a strange feeling to hear that said to Rock's face. Almost, he stood with the urge to ask for more, ask what parts of him were Mother and which were…Geese. His mind however circled another aspect of his bloodline being laid bare for him. One that had not been mentioned in the letters.

"…I have two uncles?" he narrowed his eyes.

"Had. In due time, if Yamazaki gets what he needs, you'll have none."

"…Who was the other one?"

The darkness returned to Geese's eyes. "Wolfgang Krauser. However hostile your view of Kain and me is, multiply it by seven. He was best avoided for he could and would find a way to use you for no other reason than because he could. Had you been female…well, let's just say he does not hold women in high regard."

A shiver ran down Rock's spine and for a moment, he feared his face would get slapped when he asked; "…Did you kill him?"

"Mai did."

Mai was not here. And little by little, the pieces began to form a picture. Mai being with Geese, Mai offering Freeman on a silver platter, Mai being hurt. There were still some holes, a lot of them actually, but enough had been filled to the point where Rock pressed on. "…Was he the one who hurt her?"

"…Yes," answered Geese and a murderous look came over his eyes before he turned away and headed out of the graveyard.

Reluctantly, Rock followed behind. There was a part of him still bursting at the seams with questions. He wasn't at that point where he could comfortably just drop them. Not yet.

But upon looking at Geese opening the door to a nearby black car's backseat, Rock mustered up something akin to courage and said; "…I don't hate you…as much as I used to. I-I mean, I still don't like you. You're a dick with the emotional warmth of a corpse and you're a crook and you slap like an evil pimp but…I don't…hate you."

"Good to hear," Geese looked at him and almost smiled. "Your blood will thank you for that. And so will Mai when she inevitably invites you to the baby shower."

"B-baby shower?"

"Your little sister – if you will," Geese said, looking over at Ryuji. "I see your leg has gotten better. Matilda did mention that. Didn't fix your face or attitude but what can you do."

"Eat shit, Geese," Ryuji sneered. "I only need the strength."

"Watch your bloody mouth, Yamazaki!" Billy came charging with his staff.

"Or what, cupcake?"

Or nothing, as Geese indicated by lifting his hand and waving Billy off. "I might have a job for you by the time you're done with Kain. Not rat extermination but-"

"No," Ryuji answered calmly and Rock felt ripples of pride wash over him. He had to chew the inside of his lip to not smile.

Whatever Geese thought of it, he hid it behind an understanding nod, shifting his gaze to Rock for a second. "Alright. I may or may not have something blue-collar for you in the future."

He entered the car and the driver ignited the engine. A few black suits flocked to nearby vehicles and the whole convoy drove off, leaving the pair alone in the parking lot. It wasn't quite peace that Rock was feeling. He wouldn't even think of calling Geese 'Father' but he had to admit that his understanding of that man had transformed into something less corrosive. He wouldn't follow the same path but…his heart had taken to the change.

Maybe that too was okay.

At home, there was another looming storm on the horizon and its presence was like a melancholic cloud that almost felt choking by the time they entered the courtyard. Rock swallowed and turned around, looking at Ryuji and the empty expression on his face. It had been a long time since he'd bore that, and Rock didn't like what it indicated.

"It's the end of the week," he said, a little unsteady. "So what's the deal? What's the change? Are you going back to Yamazaki?"

"Nothing of the sort, wolfy," the older man grinned but it bore no mirth. His entire body heaved with a deep sigh as he reached over to seize Rock's face between his hands. "Whatever you're thinking, it ain't your fault. Whatever happens, you keep your head held up high. Got it?"

Swallowing his urge to go on the offensive with questions, Rock nodded.

"Good boy," Ryuji let go of his face to stick his hands in the pockets of his slacks. "What's that shit on your jacket again? 'Keep the faith'? Yeah, do that."

Easy to say, harder to do. Rock nodded solemnly. He had just about given up on looking strong. God, he hated this conversation. This…whatever this was. He hated how final it felt. He hated fighting the urge to push back against it. He hated that he didn't know what he was to be pushing back against.

"…I-I love you," he uttered, completely insecure. The anxiety and desperation must have been radiating off him like a nuclear reactor against a Geiger counter. "I just wanted to say that while I still can…"

He wasn't sure of what to make of Ryuji's pained expression. "…Stay put, Rock. I got something to show ya."

"Okay," Rock nodded, grabbing his wrist for self-soothe, though it barely did anything.

He looked up at the orange glow of the afternoon sun, listening to Ryuji walk towards the gate to Kim's property, unlock it, and exit. Only then did he glance at the door, listening for any sounds. Hearing footsteps eventually. Two sets of them by the time the door went open. By instinct, he looked away and released his wrist, trying not to look so vulnerable. His heart began to pace behind his chest by the time he mustered up the composure to just look.

Looking at a familiar red cap. Looking at Terry standing there.

The world stopped turning. It muted itself. Rock had no thoughts in his mind. His body sprinted on its own. Terry saw him coming and began running too until they met in the middle of the courtyard, arms flailing into a desperate hug. Tight like a beartrap but the crush was the sweetest pain known to man. Painful in a manner so reassuring that it proved the validity of this reality.

"Rock," Terry said, his smile stretching so wide it could fall off his face. He seldom cried. He sure did now; an endless stream running down his face that he didn't even attempt to wipe away. Instead, he hugged Rock again, crushing the young man against his chest, and held him there for a lingering moment. In the meantime, Rock spotted Ryuji by the gate, motionless like a statue. The hollow look on his face was still there by the time he moved, sauntering over to the dojang. Out of view, out of invading privacy.

Too many emotions flooded Rock at once and he couldn't concentrate on any one of them, trying and failing to stop his endless crying, messy and ugly while a broad arm wrapped around his shoulders. His mind homed in on Terry, still trying to comprehend that it truly was him. It sounded like him, it smelled like him, it felt like him.

It was him.

This time, hopefully, Rock could do better. He wouldn't fail him again. Second chances like these were few and far between.

"Rookie, I'm so sorry," Terry laughed through his tears, wiping them and snot off his face. "Goddamn, I can't believe it's really you. Shit, Yamazaki was correct after all."

Oh. The revelation hit Rock something fierce that it almost physically stunned him for a heartbeat. Final week. Changes. Ah, it almost hurt how much it began to make sense. But why this air of finality over it? Rock swallowed hard and rubbed his face dry, almost staggering at the arm tightening around his shoulder, and looked at the sincere bright grin of Terry's. So unmistakably Bogard.

"I'm glad you're okay. I'm glad you're here," he said. "Can't believe I have to thank him of all people. He chewed me out and everything, but he was honest despite well…him."

Sounded about right. Still, Rock couldn't help but glance in the direction of the dojang and feel a little heartbreak over this when the penny dropped. Over this plan of swapping out one person for another like there wasn't room for both. A sadistic play under the misguided attempt at care.

"He did?" Rock asked, voice grainy. It was such a shocking sudden thing to have his heart broken over.

"Yeah. Said I better stick around if I intend to see you again. Damn, I'm brimming with questions like you won't believe it, Rock," Terry removed his arm, closing his eyes to take a few deep breaths to compose himself. He was still smiling at least. It wasn't wrought with grief like the last time. He looked tired still like he had just climbed out of some deep hole of unhappiness and exhaustion.

"I'm sorry," Rock said without thinking. "I'm sorry for not doing better."

Terry fluttered his eyes open with a quiet sigh. "He told me you felt like that. Don't apologize, rookie. It was never your fault. It was-is mine for just leaving."

Rock struggled to believe this no matter how much he tried but as he looked into Terry's eyes, saw the honesty, the guilt, the regret, maybe he was right to take those words to heart.

Moments later, Ryuji returned to the abode by the time Rock and Terry already sat inside with tea and coffee respectively. He made a mug of white peach tea for himself and sat in the beanbag. One of these days, a third chair was in order. As it was now, it was a strange configuration. A tad too symbolic of something somber with Rock and Terry at the actual table and Ryuji by himself on a goddamn beanbag. There was a pause of anxious anticipation before Terry opened his mouth once he had sipped enough caffeine to be energized.

"Okay. I think it's fair to say that we got a lot of catching up to do so…who wanna go first?"

He said it so casually, but Rock still choked on his sip, coughing through his nose to not spit tea all over the table while Ryuju soured a bit. Noting the hesitation, Terry decided to just explain things himself.

"Yeah so, I've been out and about. Not in a good way. Just hopping on random buses and driving all across the country to try and just, I don't know, distract me from existing. It's so weird that I had to do that. I guess it's because I had Andy with me when Dad died so the grief could sort of be split between us both. You coming into our lives right after helped that."

Rock nodded. It was that weird reminder that Terry wasn't much older than him, but they still took each other like father and son. He had never met Jeff, but he did witness Terry and Andy make an oath to train and grow stronger for revenge – which in turn made Rock feel very strange about how he was begrudgingly tolerant of Geese.

"At some point, I came back but I wasn't in the right headspace for it yet," Terry continued and took off his hat. "I tried to be there for my friends and look for you, but a lot had changed. People had changed. Mai got married to Geese and then she had a fight with Krasuer and then she had Geese's men take him away and I just…I just felt stunned looking at everything that happened. It was her, really but…she was different. I felt angry for a moment because I was still dang emotional but when I calmed down, I thought…maybe it wasn't a bad thing if she could keep him in check. If she's happy again while doing so."

The concerned look on his face chilled the air a bit. He was still cautious and why wouldn't he be? He breathed out hard and stared down at his coffee. "I saw Joe too. I didn't talk to him, but I spotted him with Billy Kane and they seemed close. And I was like 'What the fuck?' It was such a hard pill to swallow. I wasn't fully happy for them because it felt like everyone could move on except me. But they seemed at peace regardless and that's what is important to me – now when my mind is clearer. And now that it is, I can stop running away."

Rock relaxed a bit, happy yet at the same time suddenly gripped by dread. He swallowed rapidly, flustered, terrified. "That's good to hear. I'm happy you're here."

Terrified that he'd leave again if he learned the truth.

"What's wrong, Rock?" asked Terry, quietly. "You look like you're about to crap bricks?"

Ryuji stood up but remained where he was, guarded and very much in discomfort but stepping in without hesitation. "Because if you expect him to just spill the beans, you won't get anything. It's one of those untalkable things that gets uncovered by time."

"Or," pressed Terry a little less friendly when he looked at the man. "Just the cliff notes. I got it drilled into my head that there's a lot of stuff he can't open up about and that's okay. I'd just like to know why the hell you of all people are here."

That stretched the silence to the point where time felt like it had stopped. Long enough that Rock cleared his throat a little to stop the two of them from staring daggers at the other, speaking more to his tea than the men looking at him. "It's not simple, Terry. It's…I got into some things that hurt me. And he helped me."

"Uh-huh but why? I mean Yamazaki isn't someone who just helps people unless he gets paid for it. He's not helpful."

"You'd be right - mostly," Ryuji added, agreeing. "I did get paid for it by and large. I don't anymore but I don't need to."

Rock wasn't sure of what to do with Terry's scrutiny, uncertain of what to make of the pair or what to imagine about the esoteric history they kept from him.

"So you changed too," he concluded, not entirely buying it.

Ryuji snorted. "You saw me buy fuckin' lemons, goldilocks. Ain't that enough of a clue to you?"

And the aioli was delicious but that wasn't the issue at hand. It was Terry's obvious skepticism and whatever he filled the crater-sized gaps with, now staring at Rock and sighed. A little rattled too. Trying to be positive but…

"Apparently not. I'm just trying to wrap my head around it," he deadpanned, deliberately serious although not at all malicious or pedantic. Just a bit nosy on accident. Just enough to make something inside of Rock turn black with fear. He cradled his mug harder, to the point where the heat almost scalded his fingers.

"…It's complicated. It's not his fault. H-he was just at the right spot at the right time," Rock uttered, finding himself flustered at how he forced himself to dance around the truth. His hands began to shake too. Not helping was the flat look from Terry.

"I see. Well, I'm assuming he's changed for the better now. You don't have to tell me now," Terry finally said and drank the last of his coffee. It came out sounded like support, but Rock's paranoia lapped at the suspicion, the disappointment. The 'now'.

The young man looked up, about to open his mouth to say something reassuring but found his courage faltering, his mind getting distracted by Ryuji leaving the abode entirely. So now he sat with this awful feeling that he'd be losing them both if he didn't do something. But what the hell were his options anyway? Without thinking it through, he stood up, asked Terry to wait a minute, and chased after Ryuju, finding this problem the easiest one to deal with, and found the man by the dojang. He stood leaned against the wall with his coat draped over his shoulders, looking particularly sullen.

"You…" Rock began, taking a quick breath to just cut to the chase rapidly. "Why is this the end of everything? Is this what you've been planning? I don't get it. I don't get anything."

"It'd be crowded," Ryuji shrugged. "We both know I don't like Mr. Legendary Wolf very much and the feeling is mutual. Coexisting is gonna be fuckin' awful and it's not fair to you. He's gonna ask questions and you can't tell him but you do miss him, right? Be with him."

"Why is it your call?" Rock asked, nearly overwhelmed with how suddenly and harshly he became irritated. "What fucking logic led to that?"

"The logic of me giving you what you want – at my own expense," Ryuji said, sounding all around tired and wry.

Rock felt his expression turn sour and his mood go down south. "You think I'm that narrow-minded, I can only focus on one person?

"No, but knowing you, you'd fuckin' rip yourself in half trying to be everything everywhere every time for us both. You'd kill yourself trying to be perfect," Ryuji answered, apathetically, solemnly. "I'm just taking precautions."

The faint hint of regret in his voice was unsettling on the surface yet a little bitterly heartwarming given that it hurt him too. It just that hurt was completely unnecessary which struck a deep note in Rock.

He closed the gap between them, squaring his shoulders, settling his jaw to just not cry. "So you're just- what, fucking off? Not even trying?"

"I'm doing what'd be easier for everyone. You get to be normal and shit."'

"You don't know Terry like I do. I know he won't try to run you out of town because he tries to be good to everyone he meets. Whatever beef you have with him, he won't take it out on me. So do not do that yourself, thank you," Rock retorted through approaching hyperventilation.

"I'm not too keen on leaving, wolfy but…" Ryuji sighed through his nose, wording it a lot like a necessary goodbye, a lot like begrudging defeat.

Rock's throat slammed shut like a clamp to the point where it hurt but he forced himself to speak, to stay strong. "Then don't. It's not fair to either of us if you do. What the hell are you trying to pull?"

This time, Ryuji didn't answer. He just stood there and watched while Rock slowly began to unravel with that hyperventilating devolving into uncontrolled ugly sobbing. "Dammit, I can't just trade you out for Terry like baseball cards. It doesn't work that way. What the fuck, Ryuji? What the actual fuck?!"

He felt a slight tug of déjà vu at being put in the exact same position with Terry. At least he could talk it out with Ryuji but it felt horrible all the same when suddenly faced with the thought of never seeing him again, never being close to him again. The weight of it all crushed down on Rock to the point where he barely felt like breathing – or was it the hyperventilating? With another silent sigh, Ryuji reached out and put a hand on the top of Rock's head, stroking the hair there. His touch, even just this little of it, went a long way to settling Rock's racing heart. Usually.

"Listen, Rock…" he said quietly. "I ain't loving putting you through all of this. I hounded Terry about him staying here because he's not gonna fuck you over again. He's a prick but he made a promise so I could let you be with him. I can't ruin that for you."

That feeling of a goodbye still lingered, and Rock couldn't stop it from getting to him like a knife to his gut. Selfishly, terribly, he trembled through his own weeping, desperate to hold onto something. Just so he wouldn't have to let go. "So that's your cue to leave? Because you can't stand him or whatever? You changed for my sake. You can do it again. I will change too, fuck it. I'll do it as much as I possibly can. Then do it some more. We can make it work. I fucking promise you that. I don't have to rip myself to pieces if I'm not the only one putting in the effort."

Looking away, Ryuji paused, then laughed awkwardly, a little stunned. "…You sure? You okay with managing the two of us?"

Rock's hands were still shaking as he swiped them over his face. Didn't do much for the tears but what the hell, didn't matter. He reached over to the older man, grabbing the lapel of his coat, allowing himself a moment's irritation. "Yes, of course! I'm just so tired of being unhappy and being afraid that one wrong move will make everything in my life vanish or I fall back down into some deep hole. I want the people in my life to be here with me. I want them to be happy too. Goddamn, I've been so miserable and I'm sick of it."

Without a word, Ryuji raised a hand, his right hand, and put it over Rock's while he continued to rant. "I want to be happy with you as I was. Even with Terry here. I want to be happy with him too. The three of us, I want it to matter the most. Can we do that?"

"If you stop crying your eyes out," Ryuji said after a pause and Rock felt a wave of warmth pour through him, daring him to pull at the lapel and kiss the older man for all he was worth, then some more. All in hopes of keeping him tethered to the planet a little longer.

"And Terry knowing?"

It took a moment for Rock to understand that Ryuji was asking about their relationship and not every single circumstance leading up to it.

"He's gonna find out sooner or later," he said, somehow finding his affection the easiest thing to reveal. "I'll talk to him. If he protests, I'll stand my ground. But I doubt he will."

He hoped.

It had been a long day for Rock Howard.

On account of several emotional roller coasters, changing perspectives and a crisis averted, he felt suddenly so exhausted with it all. And now there was a mountain of bits and pieces for him to show Terry. Most of it was covered in spikes and hurt to touch so the relationship with Ryuji was the easiest. And that said a lot because it didn't feel easy either.

Returning to the abode, Terry remained where he had been left. He smiled, his expression waning a bit at the splotchy red-eyed Rock that returned – alone. Needless to say, he didn't look much better either. A little older, a lot more tired, a lot more sad, a lot more downtrodden. But he looked forthcoming, and Rock trusted him fully – almost. There was a sting from their separation but that could be healed.

Rock sat down and didn't bother with his tea anymore. He moved on to the first piece on the mountain. "So…uhm, I think it's just easier to tell you right away, but Ryu-Yamazaki and I are…uhm close for a lack of a better word."

"Could you answer one thing for me, rookie?" Terry asked, calmly and leveled yet his jaw tightened to a point where he had to will himself into continuing. "Why him? How…him?"

Right. Rock drew a steadying breath and looked at him. "That's…"

Difficult to talk about. Difficult to find the right words for. Difficult to dance around the shame. But Terry remained patient, although still wary. Yet on the other hand, maybe it'd go down easier if he just knew in no certain terms.

"…Complicated," Rock answered. "But I don't think either of us intended to end up like this. After you left, I found myself in a rabbit hole of bad things with bastards and he saw it, had enough, and helped me out of it. He's alluded to it before but my uhm…situation did something to him, so he decided on a whim to just take me in."

"Situation? With…Geese?" Terry paled a bit.

That was another complicated bundle of difficult feelings on the pile. Sure, Geese was a complex murdering bastard with a weird sense of morality but…"I don't think even he'd put me through nearly as much hurt."

'Hurt' was allowed to hang in the air, like a black cloud of emphasis. The look on Terry's face tightened somewhat but he understood the subject was a rather raw one. And Geese was another unrelated bit on the mountain that had to be talked about at some other point. Some other less raw day.

"But Geese did help me out a couple of times. I didn't ask him to," Rock shrugged, skipping over the two physical altercations. He didn't sound bitter, he realized. He wasn't either – just unsure of the developments. Unsure about what to make of Terry's expression. It was…not typical.

"…Did you go down the same path?"

Rock shook his head. "No, but-"

"No buts, Rock. It's a pretty easy yes-or-no question," Terry preempted him, stern and unforgiving as he leaned forward. "I need you to think about this for a moment, and to be able to tell me you a yes or no. I know Geese. I know Yamazaki. I want to believe the best in everyone but I can't help but worry."

Right. Worry. That made sense and Terry was within his right to worry. But at the same time, people changed, got new perspectives, and saw things differently if chance allowed it. It was easier to believe if you saw it in real-time. Rock breathed out in frustration and carded a hand through his bangs.

"…I don't think you do, Terry. At least not Yamazaki. And I'm willing to bet not Geese either. Even I don't think I know him as I thought so myself."

There was a pause before Terry answered, his voice a little stiff. "Maybe you're right."

"Given what has happened, I have a feeling that I am. You don't know true evil until it's standing right in front of you, ready to kill or abuse you. Rip open your chest and laugh at your bruised soul. If you asked Kim, he'd agree with me," Rock breathed out choppily and looked into Terry's eyes. Seeing worry, shock. Something in between. "There's a lot to people if you give them the tools to show it. There's a lot of fucked-up-ness to the world if you encounter it."

"The latter isn't what Yamazaki and Geese are then…" Terry said to himself as much as Rock.

"You can ask Geese yourself for that. But I know it's not with Yamazaki – despite what he is. I know what that looks like. I also know he has nothing on the real monsters," Rock said and thought of the carnage he had witnessed, of the carnage still on the horizon. On the blood on Ryuji's hands. With time it would hopefully be washed off.

Terry remained quiet and Rock hated the feeling that this conversation left him with. But it had to be done. There could be no pretenses between them if they all had to coexist. He sank into his chair and tried to mentally manage the memory mountain and sort between revelations and untalkable things. It'd hurt, it already ached now. But if this was to work out, he was determined to stay honest. He was going to end the day with a smile and erase the 'final' of the final week.

"And you're okay with that?" Terry asked.

"No, but I accepted it. And then he quit. He got hurt badly and I think that, along with the stress it caused everyone, was an epiphany for him. Made him realize that there's a better life for him and people want him to live that life. He'd be happy and safer if he just walked away from that. He's better than his rap sheet," Rock answered with a little relief.

And it made Terry smile a bit. "That's good. Although I can't say I'm a fan of you being privy to all his malice."

"At the time when he pulled me out of that hole, I had no fortitude to protest. But we talked about it a lot. He can be a good person. He just needs the tools and the cheerleading squad. Faith, I think," Rock said, shunning the memories of death and murder. Shunning the knowledge of more on the horizon. When Kain was dead, it'd be all over. It'd be well.

Terry tilted his head a bit and asked; "What do you think of him really?"

"I love him," Rock answered steadily and watched in real-time, gears turning and exploding in someone's head.

Terry was quiet for a long time, his expression blank. Slowly, he blinked and nodded, trying to accept it and all its implications. He wasn't quite smiling but he seemed a bit at piece over the information being told.

"Congrats," he said finally and Rock let out a sigh of relief.

If there were any overly emotional confrontations happening today, Rock would surely explode into a million pieces. Over the evening, he found himself so drained that he barely knew what to do with himself. Overall happy, mildly terrified. As Terry left for the evening, there was this sudden urge to break something or cry, brought by the sudden and irrational fear of him leaving again.

And it opened the door to a whole world of insanity. Maybe laugh, maybe run around the courtyard stark naked like a madman. It was hard to put all the feelings into words, to really settle and relax with them. He needed a good night's sleep – hopefully. Right now, he sat on the porch and stared up at the night sky.

"You okay?" Ryuji asked upon coming outside with two mugs of tea in his hands.

"I'm just really…I don't know," Rock said, suddenly so embarrassed at himself for being unable to keep it together emotionally. Wrought with terror and unbearable self-consciousness. "Overwhelmed. Maybe a little scared that Terry is gonna leave again. Fucking horrified if he finds out what happened to me."

Ryuji waited with an answer and sat down, passing over one of the mugs. "It's been a brutal day, Rock. I don't blame you for being trippy."

He laughed a bit and continued. "I wish someone told me that having a normal life comes with so much fuckin' feeling and introspection and what goddamn not."

"The thing is that I'm not normal. My situation is not the norm," Rock sipped the tea to stop his stomach from retching at the admission. "Sorry."

"What for?"

"For putting you through it all. For the task of making peace with Terry. I mean…" Rock uttered before he was aware of it, ashamed of himself when it was his idea in the first place. But…

There came a pause between them as Ryuji absorbed it, turning his head to stare directly at Rock. His expression wasn't entirely hollow, just mildly exhausted and who could blame him? Something formed in his mind, putting itself together so slowly, that one could fear regret was beginning to take hold.

"If I didn't give a shit, I wouldn't be here," he said finally. Steady and honest. "You know, I put myself through the wringer for you and I'd fuckin' do it again. But only for you. Maybe that's what it means to be ready for change."

Ugh, it did good things to hear that. Felt like a soothe to Rock's sense of self. Made him feel like he had done something right. He shifted closer until their shoulders touched and it sent a little shock of reassurance through his system. Love was a strange beast and not one he could possibly tame but right now, it was dormant like a warm blanket settling over him and making him fuzzy all over. Comfortable in a way he hadn't felt with another human being. Desire and affection, burning into one comforting entity.

"Can we just…" he began without any idea of what he was asking for. He lifted his head and stared helplessly at Ryuji, hoping to get his request processed for him.

Some level of curiosity settled in the older man's eyes as he raised a brow – but did seem to fill in the blanks himself albeit a little unsure of the direction he was going. "Are you up for…?"

"Yes," Rock answered, then shuddered at the spark of interest in Ryuji's eyes.

They drank their tea, made a pitstop in the abode, and let the mugs rest on the porch before walking, although it felt more like drifting, to the dojang. Rock was going to have a hard time not thinking about the encounters here when Kim returned home and opened his school. Right now, he focused on the intense stare that came from Ryuji, silently considering him like a beast locking eyes with its prey. He slowly began to strip and caught the older man's mouth turning up with domination and glee.

Rock looked down at the hank of rope while he covered his dick, closing his eyes. Occasionally, he could feel the gust of someone move past him with a lingering scent of fading cologne. He heard the buckling of a belt, gasping when two hands grabbed his wrists and attached them to the rings now set at a much higher altitude. He opened his eyes and peered at Ryuji now standing much closer with a belt in his hands.

"I didn't think to get one of those fancy whips or paddles, so a belt has to do. If it's not your thing, that's fine," he said. "You're bit of a masochist so it's worth a shot with, huh? Maybe you could use the distraction?"

Rock's eyes widened, his body shivering with anticipation. Impact play had been mentioned to him earlier and he looked it up once. Fascinated by it. A blush crawled across his face as he nodded, catching Ryuji's grin widening.

"Nice," he said with outright viciousness and a look in his eyes like he could rip Rock to shreds and not feel an ounce of guilt over it – that all lasted for but a second before his humanity took over. He reached over to grab the young man by the jaw and force his gaze up. "Safeword. Don't forget that. If it's too much or you're in real, not good pain, say it. I'll be real fuckin' pissed if you keep your mouth shut to please me. I'm not about retraumatizing you. Understand?"

A second passed until Rock caught on and let the seriousness set in before his mind began to swim too much. "Safeword is peach. Use it if it's too much. Got it."

"Good," Ryuji let go of Rock's jaw, then circled him to let the end of the belt run down against his back, a sensation that made the young man shiver. "Hurting people is my MO but it's been ages since I've done impact play. That shit is a whole different beast. I might be a little rusty."

Rock absorbed his words, drifting into the rope, his mind turning hazy as-the strike across his back came like a flash of lightning, so sharp and sudden that it burst a howl out of him.

"You good?" he faintly heard in the midst of the morphing haze.

"Y-yeah," he breathed out, not sure what he was feeling now. He drew a deep breath that got severed in half at the second strike. And then everything became clear. It fucking ached. It hurt so badly, and he felt horrible enough that his eyes burned for all the wrong reasons. His breath started hitching in his chest. Right on his back was not a good spot. It was much different than hair pulling and bites.

He should say it. He should say the safe word. He should give into the impulse to double over on himself and hide. He heard the faint whistle of kinetic energy before the belt connected again. Rock liked pain. He did not like this pain. He did not like the way leather hurt, how it felt like it lacerated him, how it forced him out of his pleasant headspace.

"Peach!" he screamed out in terror, thrashing in the ropes while his brain broke apart into a million sharp pieces. His mind disconnected from his body while he began to flail around in the restraints, hardly noticing his body being released. Once on the floor, he curled into himself, his breath sawing in his chest before going limp. Something moved around him, something lifted him off the floor and tugged him closer. As Rock stopped bluescreening, he realized it was just Ryuji.

"Fuck, sorry, I-" Rock blurted out, disoriented and on the verge of crying at the sting beginning to throb.

"It's fine, wolfy," Ryuji said calmly, brushing over the tender welts gently. "It's a learning experience."

Swallowing hard, Rock let the ache and the adrenaline phase through him. He sat up and rubbed his back, daring not to imagine what could happen if he had been struck with the buckle instead. He looked at Ryuji and briskly swiped a hand over his face.

"Could we just try something else?"

"…Are you for real?" Ryuji stared at him like he was mad.

Rock nodded, his voice coming out as a tremble. "Yeah. I-I need this night to end…better."

"Yeah well, you're freaking out," the older man told him bluntly. He melted a bit when Rock leaned in to kiss him and touch his face, expression wary but fond. "But if you insist."

The news made Rock relax as it made him excited. He eagerly inched closer, laying across Ryuji's lap and lapping up the soothe of cold knuckles across his bruises. He closed his eyes and sank into the awesome headspace again, just a little bit.

"Alright, wolfy. Ten spanks, you're okay with that?" Ryuji asked and his voice was a little distant through the haze. Rock nodded, going very still at the suggestion as his body softened like a pudding. Yelping a little when he felt a hand give his ass a tight squeeze and a gentle rub.

"By the way, you won't believe how fuckin' good you look in black jeans," Ryuji drawled, drawing upon a sudden, unexpected source of shame and vulnerability. Like an anaconda making itself known as it struck its prey.

The strike came at the first hit; deep, hard, and hot, sending its impact rattling right through Rock's bones. He yelped out loud, brain swirling, descending deeper into the haze. And he concluded that yes, this was good pain. Right there, it felt right. It made the endorphins spring alive behind his skull.

"Please," he whimpered, dazed from how good it felt. "More."

Amused and maybe a little more relieved, Ryuji hummed a bit then struck again. Just as hard as before that it made Rock arch, his cock getting hard. A third hit came, forcing a moan filtered through a laugh out of him, making his head spin in a way he had never felt before. His body began to twitch back against the vibration of the remaining blows, and he buried his face in his arms, muffling his cries of euphoria. He became dimly aware of the sounds coming out of his mouth; the helpless, hungry, soft sobs with tears in his eyes. His body burned with heat like there was an active fire in his stomach, fanned white hot with each strike.

"Oh my god…" Rock breathed out by the end of it, dazed from the whole experience. He let himself be lifted upright again and made to sit in Ryuji's lap where he could collect himself while settling into the arms wrapped around him. Slowly, he became a little more aware of the world around him, of how his sore rear ached against the fabric of Ryuji's slacks.

"You did well," he faintly heard against his ear and melted into the comfort of it. "Good boy."

Good indeed. It was just about what Rock needed to feel okay for the night. As long as he could have this, he'd be okay.