Full Summary: Penelope Featherington is sure of two things: she is in love with her best friend, and he is not in love with her.
Tired of wasting her feelings on a man who only sees her as Little Pen, Penelope sets out for her first London Season with the intent of pushing Colin Bridgerton out of her heart. It is time to focus on making a match with a gentleman who will love her in return. Penelope is determined to quiet her adventurous heart and catch the attention of the man Society has deemed the Unobtainable.
If only Colin wouldn't turn up around every corner, sweeping her off her feet, rescuing her from one unfortunate mishap after another. How is she supposed to forget him if he is always reminding her of why she adores him?
It was Penelope Feathering's torn slipper during her first ball of the Season that led her to believe that, perhaps, bad omens were real and, if so, her first Season was not looking very bright. Seeing Colin Bridgerton lead yet another beautiful young lady onto the dance floor only increased her worry. She had suspected the Season was going to be torturous, and she was not wrong.
But Penelope was not one to wallow. Or brood. She swallowed against the lump in her throat and tore her eyes from the man she had loved since she was ten years old, searching for an exit from the ballroom.
She had only arrived at the Rochford Ball a little over a half-hour ago and already she was aching to leave. Not that the feeling surprised her. Crowds were the very worst. Penelope lifted on her tiptoes in search of a doorway that would lead out of the ballroom, but she could not see one around the colorful swirl of satin, lace, and feathers. Really, how did women look in the mirror before a ball, assess the feathers in their hair and think, My goodness, how lovely I look impersonating a large bird!
The London Season was in full swing now and this ball was a horrifying crush. Despite the short amount of times Penelope had spent under the eyes of the ton, beads of sweat were already forming at the back of her neck, and the heat of so many bodies squeezed into one room together was giving her a headache. On top of all of this, her rebellious little slipper was all but hanging off her foot.
Penelope's eyes raced over the bustling room, noticing each of the rosy faces, smiles plastered on, eager to prove their enjoyment in the night. How could every person in the ballroom truly be enjoying themselves? As always, her eyes gravitated to the dance floor, seeking again the tall man with rich chestnut hair and a physique too wonderful for his own good. Colin appeared to be having the most magnificent time of his life, sweeping easily around the room in spite of the overwhelming movement and noise surrounding them. In the crush, Penelope felt short of breath, as though she wanted to disappear and melt into the wall―feelings she was certain her two elder sisters never felt among Society.
As the only eligible daughter of Archibald and Baroness Portia Featherington (the youngest Featherington daughter, Felicity, was only seventeen and would not make her debut for another two years), she had already been forced into introductions to at least fifty people whose importance made her legs wobble and her voice crack when she spoke.
This was not the plan. It was decidedly opposite of the plan.
Penelope had hoped that London's air would somehow change her into the outgoing socialite she longed to be. Colin was nothing short of outgoing. Everything about him oozed confidence and charisma―he loved societal events, flirting and dancing and then spending the summer at his ancestral home, Aubrey Hall, telling Penelope all about his life in Town when she would stay over. As the best friend of his younger sister, Eloise, Penelope had not always counted herself as Colin's friend. But as they all had grown older, the five year span between them had seemed less and less like an impediment to friendship. Now, she considered him her very best friend, and they shared all kinds of confidences with one another.
But this wasn't about Colin.
This was her Season. Penelope's chance to show Colin―correction, herself―that she was no longer the young girl who had chased after him and his brothers around the grounds of Aubrey Hall with Eloise, begging to be included in their games. Actually, she hadn't been that girl for some time now. Penelope now had twenty years in her dish―soon to be twenty-one. Really, if anything, she was showing Colin that she was no longer the schoolroom miss who would listen to him talk for hours on end about whatever love he had most recently tumbled into. He was always doing that―falling in love.
But, again, this wasn't about him.
As Penelope had grown older, she and Colin had turned into real friends. After spending a few weeks out of every summer with the Bridgertons―riding, walking, reading, and doing most all activities that, unfortunately, didn't include falling in love with her―those warm, magical months allotted Penelope the opportunity to grow incredibly closer to Colin. However, she had come to terms with him not reciprocating the affection that she held for him. She wasn't one to wallow.
She hadn't always been this comfortable with the idea that Colin would never fall for her. No, this was a new resolution. A decree written into her heart and sealed with the wax of her melted hopes and dreams.
Penelope had decided before she came to London for her first Season that she would not waste it wearing the willow for a man who did not want her back. She deserved someone who cared for her just as much as she cared for him, which was why she was determined to spend her Season kicking Colin Bridgerton out of her heart and, finally, letting herself shine like a Town Diamond.
Except, she did not feel very shiny at the moment, what with her displaced shoe, her wobbly legs, and her voice cracking as if she were an adolescent boy.
The sights, sounds, and smells of the ballroom were really too much for her. She did not understand how anyone looked forward to these events. Everywhere Penelope turned someone fluttered a fan, wafting the smell of sweat directly into her face. She pushed around a group of glittering debutantes. Still no exit. She did, however, have a perfect view of Colin in his beautifully tailored navy jacket, tan waistcoat, and perfectly knotted cravat, flashing that charming smile of his to a young woman whom Penelope didn't actually know, but still managed to hate all the same. Someone should really tell the girl that pink was not her color; it washed her out.
Penelope was still seeking an exit when a large feathered coiffure swayed to the music, out of the way enough to give her a blessed view of a door.
She shuffled across the floor―careful to slide her foot with the ripped slipper instead of fully picking it up. It was just like her to manage to rip a brand new slipper during a ball. It was a subtle―or not so subtle―reminder that even though she was a daughter of a nobleman, she didn't fit in there with the ton and she would never get Colin Bridgerton to see her as the right woman for him.
Drat.
Not Colin. Not caring about Colin's opinion of her was turning out to be a more laborious task than she had anticipated.
She pressed on toward the door, not allowing herself to glance at the man she loved, but stopped when she felt someone grasp her arm. Penelope took in a deep breath.
It's not going to be Colin. It's not going to be Colin.
It was not Colin.
"Where are you going, Penelope?" Prudence, her eldest sister and chaperone for the Season, shouted above the orchestra.
Penelope leaned in so Prudence could hear her. "To the ladies' retiring room. I just need a respite." She tucked her torn slipper a little farther under her dress.
Prudence's dark grey eyes pierced Penelope with skepticism. Penelope knew that look well. As the oldest of four siblings, Prudence possessed the uncanny ability to sniff out a problem when one of them was in trouble. Penelope wished she could plug her sister's nose. She didn't want Prudence to know the truth just then. Prudence couldn't know about her torn slipper, or that she had the urge to scream every time she'd had to make small talk that night. And, most of all, Prudence could not know that Penelope ached to "accidentally" spill a glass of port on the pretty miss currently on Colin's arm. She was wearing a silk gown and it would stain famously.
Prudence must had seen the evil look in Penelope's eye. "Are you feeling well?" She asked, not releasing her younger sister's arm. Prudence's eyes scoured Penelope's face for the truth.
"Perfectly, Prue," Penelope lied. "I am simply not accustomed to a crush like this, but I will adjust."
"You're sure? Do you wish to leave early?'
Yes. Yes, she did. But Prudence had been smiling all night, as if she had actually been enjoying the smell of so many perspiring bodies, so Penelope felt convicted to lie again. "I am having a grand time, sister, so you may stop giving me that Mother Hen look of yours." She saw a smirk begin on her sister's mouth and decided to push the conversation in a different direction. "How are you feeling? Is it too hot in here for you?" Penelope glanced briefly to the swell of Prudence's abdomen.
Penelope had been hesitant to accept her sister's offer to act as her chaperone for the Season when Prudence had first suggested it. Prudence was pregnant with her second child, and Penelope worried that all of the late night balls, morning callers, and constant events associated with launching a debutante into Society would be too much for her sister's constitution. Especially since Prudence's pregnancy was considered delicate, given the loss of her last pregnancy. But then, just before it had been time to leave their country seat for the Season, Felicity had fallen ill with influenza and Mama had not felt comfortable leaving her. Penelope was forced to accept Prudence as her chaperone.
But, just now, when she was hoping to go home early, Penelope was feeling glad Mama had stayed home to nurse Felicity back to health instead of accompanying her to London, and hoped that perhaps her sister's swollen ankles would work in her favor.
Prudence smiled broadly. "Actually, I'm feeling fantastic. It's so nice to be out in Society again now that the constant feeling of sickness has left me."
Just wonderful.
"Wonderful! Enjoy yourself, sister. I will only be a moment." Penelope mustered a believable smile and hoped it would be enough for her sister to release her hold.
Prudence looked hesitant, but then finally relented. "Alright, if you are sure. Shall I come with you?"
Part of Penelope wanted to state that she was a grown woman and perfectly capable of taking herself off to the retiring room on her own. But, instead, she said, "That's not necessary, thank you."
Prudence walked back to join her husband, Robert, and Penelope darted...or, slid...toward the inviting door on the edge of the ballroom.
No one seemed to notice her open the door and slip through. One glance around the dim corridor told Penelope this was not part of the home in which she was supposed to be. The ladies' retiring room must have been through a different door.
Penelope pressed her lips together, looking both ways down the empty hallway. Her palms were sweating and butterflies fluttered in her stomach in the way they always did when an adventure was in the making. Thoughts of spending the remainder of the night exploring the halls played in her mind. It could be like a game, trying to avoid detection, like a...no.
Focus, Pen. You are an adult now. Act like one.
She refocused her attention on the matter at hand, raising her own and removing her slipper to inspect it. Of course―irreparable. She flicked the limp hanging sole, no longer attached to the rest of the shoe, and silently cursed its delicate fabric.
"Here you are, Pen! I was wondering where you'd ventured off to."
Penelope jumped and turned toward the man who had just stepped into the darkened hallway with her. He glanced quickly over his shoulder, peeking out the door before closing it.
Colin Bridgerton.
A/N: Please let me know your thoughts! xx