Chapter 5
As the moments led up the reveal of what the Kindle had to tell me, an unsettling feeling gnawed at my mind. I recall with perfect clarity that Mrs. Bennet had died of old age, and that Rachel had grown up to marry well. Yet, there was a persistent, nagging sensation that my memory of Mrs. Bennet's fate was somehow different. Had I once believed she died giving birth to a baby named Elizabeth? The paradox of these memories left me uneasy.
Finally, as I read the new history, my timeline seemed unchanged, but Edward Gardiner name did not appear anywhere. In the coming days, my grief over the loss of Mrs. Gardiner and her unborn son was profound. Yet, the feeling that the child had a significant role in the future ebbed away, fading from my memory, and replaced with the reality found on my Kindle.
Time moved forward. We bid farewell to Thomas as he left for Oxford, and Henry embarked on his grand tour. Little Rachel, now older, received a governess to teach her at home. Secretly, I continued to teach her modern subjects, just as I had done with Thomas.
Mr. Gardiner began to court me subtly at first, so much so that I didn't immediately pick up on his intentions. He would visit often, bring small gifts, and engage in conversation that grew increasingly personal. It took a couple of encounters before I realized he had more than friendship in mind.
One afternoon, as Mr. Gardiner and I walked through the garden, he handed me a sprig of lavender. "This reminds me of you, Mrs. Palmer," he said, his voice warm. "Delicate yet strong."
I smiled, touched by his words. "Thank you, Mr. Gardiner."
On another crisp autumn day, while visiting the village market, Mr. Gardiner approached me with a charming smile, holding out a beautifully wrapped parcel.
"Mrs. Palmer," He said, "I thought you might like these herbs. Freshly picked this morning."
I smiled, accepting the gift. "Thank you, Mr. Gardiner. Your generosity is much appreciated."
He stepped closer, his eyes twinkling. "it is nothing compared to the care you provide our village. You are a miracle worker, truly."
His words left me slightly flustered. I had not expected such attention. Yet, as days turned into weeks, his attentions became more apparent.
At the village fair, I was enjoying the festivities, watching Rachel play with Mary Gardiner. Frances, who bore a striking resemblance to her mother, was difficult to handle, but I found ways to temper her wild spirit, earning Mr. Gardiners admiration even more.
With that in mind Mr. Gardiner approached me at the fair. "Good day, Mrs. Palmer," he greeted, tipping his hate. "I was wondering if I might have the honor of escorting you around the fair."
Caught off guard, I nodded. "Of course, Mr. Gardiner. That would be lovely."
As we walked, he spoke of his late wife and his children. "My girls, Mary, and Frances, speak highly of you. They have taken quite a liking to you."
"They are lovely children," I replied warmly. "I enjoy their visits."
He stopped, looking directly into my eyes. "Rachel if I may be so bold, I find myself quite taken with you. Your kindness, your intelligence, it is…refreshing."
His confession left me uncertain. I was flattered, but the implication of engaging in a relationship was daunting. My life, my origins, were a secret that could never be fully shared.
As the days passed, I found myself looking forward to his visits. Elizabeth noticed my growing fondness and took the opportunity to speak to me about it.
"Rachel, you seem preoccupied. Is something troubling you?" she asked, her tone gentle and concerned.
I signed, not sure how to begin. "It's Mr. Gardiner. He…he expressed his feelings for me today. He wants to court me."
Elizabeth's eyes lit up with delight. "That is wonderful news! Mr. Gardiner is a respectable man, and his children adore you." I made a face at the comment that both his children adore me. Yes, Mary did, I was never certain if Frances did.
But, I bit my lip, feeling the weight of my secret. "Elizabeth, there is so much he does not know about me. I fear that entering into a relationship with him would be unfair. There are things about my past…things that could complicated everything."
She reached out, placing a comforting hand on mine. "Rachel, we all have our secrets and pasts that shape who we are. What matters is the person you are now. You have become an integral part of our community. Mr. Gardiner sees that, and so do we."
"But you do not understand," I protested, feeling the tears welling up. "I am not from this time. Everything about me, my knowledge, my practices-they came from a future that I can't share with anyone. If people knew, it could change everything."
Mrs. Bennet's expression softened with empathy. "Rachel, I may not fully understand your circumstances, but I do know that you have a good heart and a remarkable gift for healing. You have saved lives, including mine. You deserve happiness just as much as anyone else."
I looked at her torn between my fears and the longing for a normal life. "What if my presence here changes the future in ways I cannot predict? What if being with Mr. Gardiner alters the course of history?"
She squeezed my hand reassuringly. "We can never know the full impact of our actions, but we can strive to do good with the time we have. If Mr. Gardiner makes you happy, if he brings you joy to your life, then perhaps that is a path worth exploring. Th future is not set in stone, Rachel. It is shaped by the choices we make."
Her words resonated with me, but the uncertainty still lingered.
The final push came during a spring picnic organized by the villagers. Mr. Gardiner had brought a basket filled with delicious treats and insisted I join him.
"Mrs. Palmer, I hope you are hungry," he said, laying out a blanket.
As we sat, he reached over, brushing a stray hair from my face. "You are a remarkable woman, Rachel. I would be honored if you might consider a future together."
His touch and words stirred something within me, but I could not ignore the complexities. I asked for time.
Just as Mr. Gardiner's proposal hung in the air, a messenger arrived, summoning me to Netherfield. The Earl and Countess required my presence urgently.
Arriving at Netherfield, I was greeted by the Earl and Countess. The Earl, who had warmed up to me but remained a reserved man, stood beside his wife, who looked anxious yet hopeful.
"Mrs. Palmer," the Earl began, his voice steady but reserved, "we have a request of you."
The countess took my hand, her eyes pleading. "we would like you to become our midwife and move in with us when my lay-in begins. Your reputation precedes you," here she winked at me, "and we trust you above all others."
This request along with Mr. Gardiner's proposal presented two dilemmas. I had never told the Countess or the Earl that in my original timeline, they had died in a carriage accident on their way to London. Their deaths had led to Netherfield being leased out, which eventually brought my ancestor's uncle to the property. If they didn't make the trip, they would survive, and Netherfield would not be leased. Additionally, accepting Mr. Gardiner's proposal brought its own uncertainties. Would his daughters still marry into families that maintained the timeline? What if we had children? How would that impact the future?
Overwhelmed by the gravity of these decisions, I took my Kindle and set off for Oak Mount at dawn. The early morning light bathed the landscape in a golden glow as I climbed to my favorite spot, seeking the solitude to think clearly.
As I sat down, I opened my Kindle and began to read, hoping for guidance. The pages offered no new insights, only the same history I had always known. Mrs. Gardiner's death had been a known fact, as had the Countess and Earl's fate. Yet here I was, with the power to change both outcomes.
What was my role in this altered timeline? Could I alter it further without disastrous consequences? These questions swirled in my mind as I contemplated the paths before me.
John Gardiner's proposal weighed heavily. He was a good man, and I cared for him deeply. Yet, the fear of disrupting the future held me back. Elizabeth's words echoed in my mind—was I to deny myself happiness because of fear?
As the sun rose higher, casting long shadows across the fields, I made my way down Oak Mount, determined to face the decisions ahead. I reached the bottom with a sense of resolve. Whatever choice I made, I would do so with the knowledge that the future, while uncertain, was also a canvas for the present.
I returned home to find Mr. Gardiner waiting, hope in his eyes. "Have you made your decision, Rachel?"
"I have," I replied, my heart steady. "But before I give you my answer, there is something I need to do."
I had to meet with the Earl and Countess, to ensure that whatever I decided would not lead to unintended consequences. With a deep breath, I set off for Netherfield, ready to face the challenges that lay ahead.
The day had barely begun, but the weight of the choices before me felt like an entire lifetime. As I approached Netherfield, my thoughts turned once more to the Kindle, to the knowledge it held, and to the uncertainty of a future that seemed both familiar and foreign. I prayed that my decisions would lead to a future where both love and history could coexist without conflict.