23

By the time Bella drove past the Welcome to Woodbury sign, Edward had managed to stop crying. He remained silent, only nodding when she asked if he was okay. That's all he would give her, so when she parked on the side of the Oasis, he climbed out immediately but stopped when she turned her car off and opened her door.

"Um, what are you doing?" he asked, squatting down and looking at her.

"I'm coming inside."

"Why?"

"Why not? Am I not welcome inside?"

"Of course you are, but why?"

"Because I want to spend time with you."

Edward raised an eyebrow. "You do?"

She nodded. "Is that so hard to believe?"

"Kind of."

"I thought we were friends."

"Thought you needed more time to figure out how you feel about me?" he countered. "I don't need a babysitter, Izzy. I knew going to see her wasn't going to be easy. Why do you think I hadn't taken that step yet?"

Bella unclasped her seatbelt and shifted in her seat. "What did she say to you when Garrett and I went outside?"

Edward shook his head but got back inside the car, leaving the door open. "She asked what you've asked before: why didn't I come to her?"

"Why did you tell her?"

"The truth," he confessed, tilting his head in her direction. "Guess Dad told her I was a failure as a son, a true disappointment to the family name. You know, because he was such a stellar father," he spat. "I told her wasn't sure she would want me in her life, seeing as I'm an addict; that as far as I knew, she had an amazing family, and I didn't want to ruin that for her. And that wasn't a lie. But then she told me a little about her mom. Guess we both got the shitty end when it comes to parents." Edward paused before saying, "Then, she asked me if Carlisle knew I was in love with you."

"Oh. And what'd you tell her?"

Edward sighed.

"I couldn't sit there and lieto her, Izzy. Wasn't the point of today to be completely upfront and honest with each other? To stop lying about who I am, about Carlisle, and why he had been paying her rent? I sat there and saw the hurt and pain in her eyes, and I . . . I fucking hate Dad for filling her head with so much shit."

"Are you going to see her again?"

"I don't know." He shrugged his shoulders. "We exchanged numbers, so I guess that's a start. I don't have a lot of family left, you know? Mom gave up on me the day I was born. Dad's a piece of shit, Carlisle's gone, and you . . ."

"And me what?"

Edward's lips trembled as he looked back at her. "I'm too late to be your first love, but I'd do anything to be your last."

And before she could respond, he was out of the car, slamming the door and hurrying to the front door. While she wanted to follow him, she didn't. Because even though she couldn't deny she had feelings for Edward, she wasn't ready to take that leap.

—RtW—

"Where do you want it, Izzy?"

Bella looked up from the bright yellow sofa in her new living room to Emmett, standing in the doorway with a large cardboard box in his hands. "How is the box labeled?"

He looked down. "Kitchen."

"Then it goes in the kitchen."

"Well, no shit, but where in the kitchen?" he scoffed.

"Just in the kitchen," she snickered, gesturing behind her. "I can unpack everything. I'm not completely helpless."

"Yeah, yeah, just keep your preggo ass on that couch, or Ro will lose her shit on me."

Bella laughed but nodded. While she looked down at her to-do list, she sighed when she saw the item on the top and felt her heart clench.

Talk to Edward, it said.

Not that she hadn't tried, but he was avoiding her. A week had passed since they sat across from Esme and Garrett, a week since he cried in her car, a week since he all but begged her to love him back.

And she wanted to. More than anything, she longed to feel his arms wrapped around her, to feel safe and loved without the bone-crushing guilt that washed over her every time she thought about him.

Carlisle crept into her thoughts, her dreams, and her nightmares. She'd woken herself up screaming into her pillow after he berated her for forgetting about him, for leaving him behind.

"Izzy, honey, what's wrong?" Rosalie rushed to her side, dropping the pillows she'd bought her to go with her new sofa. "You're scaring me, honey. Are you in pain? Do I need to call Dr. Black?"

"No," she cried. "I . . . I don't know what to do, Ro, about . . . about Edward."

Understanding washed over her as she shifted onto the sofa. "Oh."

"Have you talked to him over the last few days?"

Though she seemed to hesitate, she nodded. "We had lunch two days ago."

"Did . . . did he tell you about our trip to the city?"

"No."

"No?"

She shook her head. "I asked, but he said he wasn't ready to talk about it. He did ask if you were all right, though. Seemed to think he'd crossed a line."

"He did?" She frowned. "What'd he tell you?"

"Nothing. When I asked for more details, he said it was private, so I let it go. But I won't lie, Izzy. I'm worried about him. He's . . . Well, I haven't seen him like that in a long time. Not since the night Jake died, honestly."

"That bad?"

Rosalie nodded. "You know, I'm going tell you something, and it might make you mad, but I think you need to hear it, okay?"

"Okay," she whispered.

"He deserves better than to be in love with someone who won't love him back."

"I do love him, Ro. I do, I just. . . I don't know if what I feel is that kind of love."

"Then you need to figure it out, honey, because Edward's been pining for you for a long time."

"That's enough, Ro."

They looked over, finding Emmett standing in the doorway with Jasmine cradled against his chest. The sight of such a tiny baby in his big, muscular arms was beautiful, and Bella felt the ping of envy.

"She's getting hungry, I think," he added.

"Okay." Rosalie stood and slipped their daughter into her arms before carrying her down the hallway and into the bathroom.

"She means well, but Edward's kind of important to her," Emmett said, drawing Bella's attention back to him. "He really stepped up and helped her when I couldn't, you know?"

Bella nodded. "He's important to me, too. He is, Emmett, I just . . ." She placed her notebook on the coffee table and stood. "I'm scared to let myself love him. I can't . . . loving him and then losing him, too, I . . ."

"Hey, shh, Izzy." Emmett crossed the room and pulled her against his chest. "Of course you're scared. How could you not be? But Carlisle's gone, honey. He's gone, and you can't keep losing yourself to your grief like this. Your son deserves better."

"Yeah, I know, Em. I know."

—RtW—

Bella bit her lip as she stared at the front door to the Oasis, her fingers tightening around the steering wheel. She'd been sitting outside for almost twenty minutes, trying to get the courage to go inside and talk to him. Or force him to talk to her. She wasn't sure which at the moment. While she'd been texting him, he simply replied with okay or a thumbs-up emoji.

And she needed more from him.

"Stop being a fucking coward, and just go inside already."

Taking a deep, calming breath, Bella opened the door and climbed out. She placed her hand on her belly as she walked across the parking lot and pulled on the front door. It opened with a creak, and when she stepped inside, she heard him yell, "We're not open!"

Edward rushed from the backroom, stopping when he saw her. "Hey."

"Hey."

He dragged his hands down the front of his jeans. "What are you doing here?"

"I came to see you."

Edward nodded. "Why?"

"Why do you think? You've been avoiding me."

He didn't reply.

"Goddamn it, Edward!"

"What do you want from me, Izzy? I flat-out told you that I'm in love with you. I can't . . ."

"You can't what?"

"I can't have you this close without wanting to hold you in my arms. I . . . I can't have you, only to lose you again. I can't, Izzy. I fucking can't!"

"You're not losing me." Bella took two steps toward him just to have him move away. "So, that's how it's going to be now?"

"Just trying to give you the space you said you needed," he quipped.

"Really? You're going to throw my words in my face like that?"

Edward frowned. "I'm sorry. Guess that wasn't very fair."

"No, it was actually incredibly fair." Bella placed her bag on the bar and sat, putting her hand on her stomach. "Are you okay?"

"Yep."

"Liar."

Edward sighed and gripped the back of his neck. "Fine. No, I'm not okay. Happy?"

She frowned. "No."

"I'm sorry I'm being an ass." He walked over and sat on the stool next to her. "Esme and I have been texting a little over the last few days. So, I guess that's good."

"Yeah."

He placed his hands on his knees. "He's called me, too. Like a lot."

"He as in your father?"

Edward nodded. "Guess Esme went off on him after our meeting, and he's pissed I called him a piece-of-shit, abusive asshole. Apparently, he didn't think he was all that bad, just neglectful." He rolled his eyes before looking at her. "Are you okay?"

"No," she admitted. "And yes. I'm . . . I moved into my house. Well, mostly moved in. Emmett and Ro bought me a ton of dishes and kitchen essentials, including an air fryer, which I don't even know how to use."

He grinned. "Air fryer is a game changer."

"So I've heard," Bella laughed. "I found the cutest bright yellow sofa and loveseat at this little furniture place in the city. And, um, Jay and Dad are moving my bed tomorrow, and Alice and the girls are supposed to be bringing my clothes. I've been informed I am not allowed to move a single item."

"Good, you shouldn't be moving anything." Edward turned and leaned against the bar. "I'm sorry I haven't helped."

"It's okay." Bella bit the inside of her lip. "You can make it up to me."

"How?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Let me cook you dinner tomorrow night."

"What?"

"Let me —"

"I heard you."

"Yet, you asked me what I had said," she teased. But when he didn't laugh, she placed her hand on his. "I've missed you, Edward. More than I thought I would."

"Why are you saying that, Izzy? Why? Do younot see how much hope it gives me?"

"I do," she whispered.

"Then why?"

Bella stood and faced him, laying her hand on his chest. She felt him shiver under her touch, and she started to pull her hand away. But he reached up and covered hers, keeping them there.

"I . . . I feel something for you, Edward. Something more than friendship. And while it scares me — like really scares me — I want to see where we can go." She spoke slowly, methodically.

Edward's eyes widened. "You . . . you do?"

Bella smiled. "I do."

"Are you sure?"

"I am."

"Izzy," he whispered, covering her hand with his again. "I don't want you to feel pressured to . . . to love me like I love you."

"You're not." Bella stepped closer, causing him to inhale a sharp breath. "I'm not saying I'm in love with you because I can't. Not yet, at least But, Edward. I . . . I can't stop thinking about you."

"Izzy," he said again.

"Dinner. Tomorrow night. I'm not taking no for an answer."

Edward smiled. "Dinner sounds amazing. I'll have to make sure the bar is covered, but I'm sure Ben or Em will come through for me. If you're sure, of course."

"I am." She slid her hand up to the neckline of his black T-shirt. "I should probably go. Gotta stop at the store to pick up supplies, but I'll see you tomorrow night at seven."

"Seven, is it." Edward placed his hands on her hips as he stood. "If you change your mind before then, I'll understand."

Bella grinned. "I won't, but thank you."

"I should be thanking you."

"Why?"

"For giving me this chance. I never thought you'd ever look at me as someone you'd want to spend time with, sweetheart."

Bella shook her head. "You've always been important to me, Edward. Always."

She leaned upward and pressed her lips on his cheek, feeling him inhale deeply. She tore herself from his arms, hurrying out of the Oasis and into her car.

While her heart was telling her that taking this chance with Edward was worth it, her mind was at war with her heart. Because she could hear Carlisle's voice telling her, "He's not my brother anymore, and I won't let him hurt you again. Not ever again."

Thank you for all the AMAZING reviews! I couldn't do any of this if Sunflower Fran didn't help me clean up my messy chapters. She runs an amazing group on Facebook called It all Started with Twilight. We post updates, cute memes, and just about anything else. Come join us! For those who are not reading my other WIPS, I am taking a short break, a few weeks, to clear my head and get myself together. I promise I will be back!