24

"You seem anxious today."

Bella shifted her attention to Dr. Sanders, who once again was sitting on his brown, leather armchair with a yellow notepad on his lap. "Do I?"

He smiled, deep wrinkles crinkling into the corners of his eyes. "You do. Want to tell me why?"

"Not really," she admitted, but then said, "I have a date tonight."

He simply stared at her.

"Did you hear me?"

"I did. Why does having a date make you anxious?"

"I don't know."

"Yes, you do, Izzy. Tell me why going on a date with a man makes you feel anxious."

Bella bit the inside of her lip. "I think it's who I have a date with that is making me feel anxious."

Dr. Sanders raised an eyebrow. "Who?"

"Edward." She expected to see surprise or concern in his eyes. Perhaps even anger, but he just stared at her. "He's been in my dreams."

"Edward?"

She shook her head. "Carlisle."

"Ah." He nodded before jotting down a note on his pad and then looking back at her. "Tell me about them."

Bella sighed, running her hand over her slight bump. "He accuses me of forgetting him. Begs me to stay, pleads with me to stay. He left me, though. He died, and he left me pregnant and alone. And now that I . . . I don't know, have feelings for someone else, he's inside my head."

"Not just someone else, though, Izzy. Edward isn't just someone else, is he?"

"No," she admitted.

"Last time you were here, you told me your trip to New York got complicated, I believe is the word you used. Did Edward make it complicated?"

She nodded. "A little."

"How?"

Bella opened her mouth once, twice, a third time before she said, "He, kind of, sort of, confessed that he's had feelings for me. For a while."

"Feelings?" Dr. Sanders asked. "What kind of feelings?"

"Romantic feelings."

"I see." He jotted down another note. "And how did that make you feel?"

"Confused at first. Maybe even a little angry."

"Why angry?"

"Because he never told me. Never hinted that he felt anything other than friendship toward me."

"What would you have done if he'd told you ten years ago that he had feelings for you?"

"I . . . I don't know," she admitted.

"Would it have changed your feelings toward your husband?"

"What? No, of course not!" she exclaimed. "Carlisle's always been the love of my life. Always."

"Then why would Edward not telling you about his feelings for you make you angry?"

Bella sighed. "I don't know. I just . . . I find myself thinking about him. A lot."

"Since he told you?"

"Even before that night. He calls me sweetheart and leaves me flowers."

Dr. Sander's eyes widened, before he made another note.

"What?"

"Nothing," he said, quickly.

"Clearly, it's not nothing."

Dr. Sanders placed his pen on the table next to his chair before clasping his hands together. "Fine. I'm concerned."

"About?"

"About whether you are ready to explore feelings for anyone."

"I see."

He lifted his hand. "Please, don't misunderstand me, Izzy. Eventually, you are going to have to move on with your life, move on from your husband, but I am not sure you are ready."

"I am," she said, unsure if she were lying to him, or just herself.

—RtW—

Bella stood inside her closet, a terry-cloth towel wrapped around her body and her wet hair draped over her shoulder. Edward was supposed to be at her house in forty-five minutes, and she was trying to decide what to wear. Should she wear a dress? That didn't seem right, especially since they weren't going anywhere. Jeans were too uncomfortable with her slightly expanded belly, but were leggings too casual?

"You're being stupid. It's just Edward, for Christ's sake," she muttered to herself before yanking a pair of black leggings off the build in shelving and grabbed a blue maternity T-shirt.

She tossed the onto the bed before she dried off, put on a pair of panties, a bra, and hurried back into the bathroom to dry her hair. She plugged her hair dryer into the outlet, but when she flicked the power switch upward, nothing happened.

"Ugh, of fucking course," she grumbled, pressing the little reset button on the back, but it still didn't come on. "Knew this piece of shit wasn't going to last much longer."

Bella dropped the hair dryer into the trash can before picking up her brush and dragging it through her long, brown hair. Seeing as it was already getting late and she still needed to put the lasagna into the oven, she settled for a couple of braids. She hurried back into her bedroom and dressed before rushing into the kitchen and turning the oven on. She'd just pulled the lasagna out of the fridge when her phone chimed with a text.

Placing the Pyrex dish on the counter first, she walked over to the small, wooden table she'd found through Facebook, and picked up her phone. She started to smile when she saw Edward's name pop up on the screen, but when she opened it, she found herself frowning.

"I can't make it. Bars crazy. I'm sorry, Izzy. I'm really sorry."

Bella started to respond, but instead, she placed her phone back into the table and turned back to the lasagna. It seemed silly to let a perfectly good meal go to waste just because he couldn't leave work, right? Biting the inside of her lip, she placed the dish into the oven and set the timer.

An hour and a half later, she found herself parked outside of the Oasis. For such a busy night, she thought, the parking lot was particularly empty. In fact, there was only one other car in the lot, except for Edward's jeep of course. Bella climbed out of her car and hurried around to the passenger side, lifting the warm dish into her hands before using her hip to close the car door.

She'd just reached the door to the Oasis when it was pushed open, and she found herself face to face with a tall, thin woman with long black hair and dark eyes. Angela Weber had been one of those girls who was friends with everyone but stayed mostly to herself. Her father was the reverend at the First Baptist Church and had always been kind. In fact, he was the first person in town to reach out to her and Carlisle after Jacob died.

"Hey, Izzy." Angela looked behind her. "Sorry, we're closed. Doing inventory."

"Inventory?"

Angela nodded. "Yeah, you know, counting all the toothpicks and napkins."

Bella raised an eyebrow, peeking over her shoulder. "Why?"

"Oh, you know."

"No, I don't, hence why I asked."

Angela sighed.

"Where is he? Is he drinking?"

"What? No, of course not."

"Let me in, Angela."

"Izzy, I don't think —"

"It's fine, Angie."

Angela gave Bella a look before she moved out of the way, but before Bella could walk inside, Edward was stepped into the doorway. She dropped the dish in her hands as she gasped and reached for him, but he pulled away. It had been a long time since she'd seen him with a busted lip, a black eye, and a red, swollen jaw.

"What happened?" she asked.

Edward stepped over the broken dish and pulled the door closed behind him, motioning for Bella to follow him to the side of the building. He leaned against the side of his jeep, folding his arms in front of him.

"Edward, what happened?"

"Dad showed up this afternoon furious because Esme cut him out of her life. He blamed me, as he always has, and . . ." He gestured toward his face. "I didn't want you to see me like this."

"Why didn't you call me? I would have come over."

"Because you would have come over," he said, shaking his head. "I hate him, Izzy. I fucking hate him so Goddamn much."

"Me too." Bella placed her hand on his chest, feeling him shiver. "Are you okay? I mean, nothing's broken, right?"

"No, nothing's broken."

"Did you call the police?"

Edward shook his head.

"Why not?"

"They've never helped before. Don't see them deciding to start to give a shit now."

"Edward, he assaulted you. You need to press charges."

"Why? So, he can press charges against me?"

"What do you mean?"

"I didn't just lay down and take it this time, Izzy. I fought back. For the first time in my life, I fucking fought back."

"You did?"

Edward nodded. "Let's just say when he ran out of here with his tail between his legs, he looked worse than me."

Bella bit the inside of her lip before saying, "Good."

"Good?" he scoffed, and then winced. "Why is that good?"

"Because he needs to learn that he can't put hands on you again, Edward." She moved her hand up to his cheek, feeling him inhale a deep breath before he turned and pressed his lips against the palm of her hand. "You should have called me. Not Angela and Ben."

"I didn't call them," he replied, turning back to her. "They'd agreed to cover the bar for me, so I could come to your house for dinner. I'd just texted you that I couldn't make it when they showed up. Angela's been urging me to call you, so . . ."

"She has?"

He nodded.

"She was right." Bella slipped her hands into his and took a step backward. "Come on."

"Where?"

"My house."

"Izzy," he whispered, shaking his head.

"Either you come to my house, or I'm staying here with you, but I won't leave you alone. Not tonight, Edward."

"Are you sure?"

"I am. Just . . . Let me take care of you, for a change."

"Fine. Your place, though. I . . . If I stay here, I might do something stupid, like drink the fucking bar dry."

"My place it is."

Bella wrapped her hand around his as the two walked back into the bar, finding Angela and Ben, a tall thin man with dark hair and black glasses, sweeping up broken glass. Apparently, his father had done more than just beat on Edward. She pressed her lips together to keep from mouthing off again. Ben and Angela shared a look before leaning their brooms against the bar and closing the distance between the two of them.

"Hey, Izzy, long time, no see," Ben said, leaning over and kissing her cheek. "You look great."

"Thanks," she murmured before clearing her throat. "I'm taking him to my place. Do you think you two can take care of all of this?"

"Of course," Angela assured her, eyes flickering between them. "Don't worry about anything. We'll get this cleaned up and get a list of what needs to be replaced, too."

"Thanks, guys. I appreciate it." Edward looked down at Bella. "I'm just going to run upstairs and grab my wallet. I'll be right back."

"Okay."

While Edward hurried through the back of the bar and upstairs to his apartment, Bella turned her attention to Ben and Angela. "Thanks for this. I just . . . I just can't leave him here on his own."

"Wouldn't be the first time," Angela quipped.

"Ang," Ben scolded.

But Angela simply rolled her eyes and walked away, leaving him and Bella alone.

"Sorry about her. She's . . . Well, protective of him, I guess. We both are."

Nodding, Bella wrapped her arms around her torso. "Tell him I'm waiting at my car."

"Izzy," Ben called out as she turned and walked toward the front door. "Don't be like that."

"Like what, Ben? Hmm?" she asked, looking back at him. "I didn't want to cut Edward out of our lives. Carlisle made that decision. I tried to talk him out of it, but he was adamant. Maybe I should have fought harder, maybe . . . maybe that is my fault. But I was supporting my husband."

"And leaving Edward behind in the process." Ben gave her a look before grabbing his broom and turned his back toward her.

Bella hurried outside and leaned against the side of her car. Edward came out a few minutes later, and the two made the short drive to her house in silence, though she felt him looking at her as she drove. She parked in the driveway and led him inside the house, tossing her keys in the basket next to the door before she walked into the kitchen and grabbed them each a bottle of water.

When she walked back into the living room, she found him standing in front of fireplace with a picture of her, Carlisle, Jacob, and Edward were in his hands. It was taken on the night of his sixteenth birthday, when Charlie and Billy Black surprised them with a party in her backyard. It was the first time anyone had celebrated Edward's birthday, he said, and he proceeded to get drunk and fall face first into the cake Rebecca Black had made him.

"I think about them all the time." Edward looked back at her. "Jake and Carlisle, I mean. There's so much I wish I could tell them, so much I wish I could apologize for, you know?"

"I do." Bella sat on the bright, yellow sofa and placed the two water bottles on the coffee table. "Are you just going to stand there?"

Edward placed the picture back on the mantle before sitting next to her. "I like your house. It's very you."

"Very me? What does that even mean?"

"It's cute, and sweet."

Bella smiled, feeling her cheeks warm. "Oh."

"Sorry," he murmured.

"Don't be. I like that you say things like that to me. I'm just not used to them coming from you."

"Did he say nice things to you?"

Bella felt her shoulders tense. "I don't want to talk about him, not to you. Not . . . not right now."

Edward frowned.

"I just mean . . ." Bella reached for his hand, which he gave. "I want this to be about you and me, not . . . not Carlisle."

"Yeah?"

Bella nodded.

An awkward silence filled the air around them, so she released his hand and stood. "Are you hungry? I could make us some eggs. Or, I have the stuff for sandwiches. I made lasagna but dropped it outside of the bar. I should have cleaned that up before we left. They'll probably blame me for that, too."

"What do you mean 'too'?"

She pressed her lips together before she shook her head. "Nothing."

"Clearly it wasn't nothing." He stood. "What did they say?"

"Don't worry about it."

"Well, I'm going to until you tell me what Ben and Angela said."

"Seriously, Edward, it was nothing."

He simply stared at her.

Bella rolled her eyes. "I guess they aren't as forgiving about Carlisle and I leaving you behind when we went to New York."

Edward groaned as he sat down, pulling his phone out of his pocket. He started texting someone, so she grabbed his phone and looked to find a message to both Ben and Angela in progress.

"I don't need you to defend me, Edward."

"They shouldn't talk about shit they don't understand."

"Not like they were wrong, were they? We did leave you behind when we left. We should have been here to help you get clean and sober."

"I wouldn't have gotten clean or sober if you'd been here, Izzy. It took me a long time to realize that hitting rock bottom wasn't Jake's death, it was losing you. And Carlisle, but especially you. I had to get myself straightened out before I could even consider being a part of your life again. I thought my brother would give me another chance, and when that didn't happen, I had to make the choice to be the man you deserved, even if you never knew how I felt about you."

"How could you hold onto your feelings for me after so long?"

"Not like I didn't try to let you go, Izzy. God knows I did, but there's nobody else out there that makes me feel like you do. Nobody."

"That's kind of intense."

"Sorry." Edward leaned back, his hands resting on his thighs. "Why'd you want me to come here, Izzy? Why do you care what happens to me?"

She sat next to him, her hand sliding over his. He lobbed his head to the side and looked at her. "Because sometimes we need someone to hold us together when our world feels like it's falling apart. You've been doing that for me for the last five months, and now, it's my turn to hold you together."

"Izzy," he whispered, his eyes closing.

She curled up next to him, sliding her other hand up his chest and around his neck. "You deserve better than someone who made you feel less than the most important person in the room, Edward."