25

Bella woke the next morning to the smell of freshly brewed coffee and baked muffins. Stretching, she climbed out of bed, smoothing her oversized T-shirt over her growing belly, and walked out of her bedroom, down the short hallway, and into the kitchen. Edward was standing at the back door, still wearing the jeans and black T-shirt from the evening before. He had a cup of coffee in his hands, and another one was on the counter.

"Good morning."

He turned and looked at her. The bruising around his eye and the puffiness of his lip was even more pronounced in the early morning light.

"Morning," he murmured, gesturing toward the coffee. "I hope you don't mind. I . . . I couldn't sleep."

"I don't mind. I know my couch isn't very comfortable."

"The couch was fine, Izzy. I just . . ." Edward placed his cup on the counter before shoving his hands into his pockets. "I kept hearing noises outside. Thought . . . thought maybe it was Dad. I drove myself fucking crazy, so I just . . . found myself standing guard at the front door."

Bella nodded before refilling his cup and then adding coffee to hers. "You think he'd come after me?"

"No? Yes? I don't know." Edward gripped the back of his neck. "How hard would you fight me if I said I think you should get a security system installed?"

Bella tilted her head to the side, a wary smile spreading onto her lips. "Kind of already thinking about it, actually."

"Yeah?"

She nodded.

"I'll pay for it."

"I don't need you to pay for it."

"Didn't ask if you needed me, too. Just said I would. Consider it a gift for the baby."

Bella laughed. "Fine, fair enough. For him, I will let you pay for a security system."

"Thank you." Edward picked up his cup, taking a sip. "And thank you for last night. I felt like complete shit for canceling on you. I just . . ."

"You what?"

"I was embarrassed."

"Why?" she asked, taking a step toward him.

"Because I'm thirty years old, Izzy, and my father beat my ass. I don't . . . I don't like being that weak kid who couldn't protect his little brother again."

Bella frowned.

"Sorry."

"Don't apologize again, Edward. I'm just glad you came home with me last night."

"You are?"

She nodded.

"Me too."

Before she could say anything else, an alert chimed on her phone, and she took several steps backward, picking it up off the counter where she'd left it last night. A reminder flashed across the top of her screen about her appointment with Dr. Black. Sighing, she placed her phone back on the counter and looked at Edward.

"Sorry. I forgot I have a doctor's appointment this morning."

His eyes widened.

"Just a check-up," she assured him. "I've had a nasty case of pregnancy brain, so I've taken to setting reminders on my phone so I don't forget."

"Ro did that, too," he laughed quietly.

"Would you want to go with me? To my appointment, I mean. Dr. Black will probably do another ultrasound. You could see your nephew for yourself."

Edward frowned but shook his head. "I want to, Iz, I do, but I . . ." He gestured toward his face. "I don't want to have to explain this to him."

She nodded. "Guess that makes sense."

"But thanks for asking."

"You're welcome." Bella set her cup down before walking to him. His eyes were locked on hers as she laid her hand in the middle of his chest. She felt him inhale deeply, but before she could pull backward, he covered her hand with his own. "I worry about you being alone, though. At the bar, I mean. What if he comes back?"

"I can handle my father."

"Can you handle being around all that alcohol?"

He frowned.

"You could stay here," she suggested. "My appointment shouldn't take more than an hour. I'll stop by the store and grab some food. I'll make us lunch."

"What will you make?"

"What do you want?"

Edward groaned. "You're going to make me choose?"

"Yep," Bella smirked. "If I'm cooking, you get to pick. Fair is fair."

He laughed, the sound causing her to shiver. She'd never noticed how deep his laughter was, how full of life it was until that moment. Maybe that was because she'd been too wrapped up in Carlisle to see Edward for the man he was. Just the thought of her husband, though, had her dropping her hand from his chest and taking a step back.

"I'm going to take a quick shower. Just . . . Just decide what you want for lunch, and I'll pick it up."

"Izzy, you okay?"

She nodded, swallowing against the lump in her throat. Then, she turned and hurried out of the kitchen and into the bathroom. Closing the door behind her, she leaned against it as she heard Carlisle say, "I won't let him hurt you again. Not ever again."

—RtW—

Bella quickly showered and dressed, choosing to wear her denim overalls with a blue, long-sleeved T-shirt. When she left her bedroom, she expected to find Edward on the couch or in the kitchen, but he wasn't. In fact, he wasn't anywhere to be seen. Instead, held up on the refrigerator with a banana-shaped magnet was a note that said: Izzy, I'm sorry for making you uncomfortable. Don't worry about me; I'll be okay. Just take care of yourself and Little Bit, sweetheart. Edward.

With a sigh, Bella folded the note and shoved it into her pocket. She would handle that after her appointment, she thought to herself. But right now, she would do as he said and take care of herself and her son. Grabbing her bag and keys, she locked the house and headed to her appointment.

She checked in with Bree before sitting in the waiting room. Pulling out her phone, she scrolled through her text messages with Edward. She was tempted to text him and tell him he wasn't getting off that easy, that she would come to him again if needed, but she didn't, and she couldn't even explain why. As much as she found herself needing him, wanting him in her life, she wondered if her feelings for Edward were real or if she was latching onto him because he was her only connection to Carlisle, at least until her baby was born.

"Izzy."

Startled, Bella dropped her phone back into her bag and turned, finding Billy watching her from the doorway.

"You okay? I called your name a couple of times."

"I'm fine," she lied, standing. "Sorry. I just . . . I don't know. I'm fine."

Billy nodded and gestured for her to follow. As usual, he weighed her and checked her blood pressure and other vital signs before leading her into the same examination room. She settled on the end of the table and watched as he looked over her chart. After almost a minute, he closed her file and placed it on top of the counter before shifting his eyes to hers.

"How have you been feeling, Izzy? Physically? Emotionally? Are you okay?"

"I . . ." Bella shook her head. "I don't know. I miss him. Carlisle, I mean. I miss him so much, but I . . ." She paused before saying, "I have feelings for someone, and I don't know how to get past the guilt for moving on from Carlisle. Does that make sense?"

Billy nodded, folding his arms. "This person you have feelings for, is it Edward?"

She barely acknowledged him with a tilt of her head.

"So, he finally told you how he feels about you."

"You knew?"

Billy scoffed. "Of course I did. The boy couldn't keep his eyes off you, Izzy."

Bella frowned. "Carlisle knew, too. He knew before we left Woodbury. That's probably why he agreed to leave. He wanted to stay in Woodbury. Said he was going to prove to his parents that he wasn't worthless, but . . . I begged him to go to New York with me. Told him I couldn't do it alone, so he agreed. Turns out he only agreed because of Edward's feelings for me."

"He loved you, Izzy."

She nodded. "Not enough to trust me, though. He kept secrets from me. Did Edward tell you that?"

Billy sighed, answering her question.

"That's what I thought. Did you know? About Esme? You knew their father, the kind of man he was. Did you know he had a whole separate family?"

"I'd heard rumors but never anything concrete. He was . . . Well, pardon my language, Izzy, but their father is a worthless piece-of-shit who treated everyone like they owed him something."

"He went after Edward again."

"What? When?" Billy asked, leaning away from the counter.

"Last night. Guess Esme confronted him about the kind of father he was toward Edward and Carlisle, cut him out of her life, and as always, Edward paid for it."

"Is he okay?"

"Not really. Said he fought back, but I don't know."

Billy sighed but nodded. "I'll check on him later."

"Don't do that," she said hurriedly, and when Billy raised an eyebrow, she added, "He . . . He's embarrassed enough, Dr. Black."

"Fair enough." Billy motioned for her to lie back as he lifted her shirt just under her bra before lowering the front of her overalls. As he began to measure her stomach, he spoke again. "Edward's a good man, Izzy. He really is. And even though Carlisle did what he thought was right by cutting him out of your lives, I think he would want you to be with someone who loves you with everything he has."

"Carlisle was that person, Dr. Black. He loved me with all of him."

"He did, but he's not here anymore." Billy pulled her shirt back down and helped her sit up. "If you're not ready to move on, that's okay. Izzy. But you can't string Edward along if you aren't sure you're ready to be with him. He deserves better than to be treated like that."

Bella frowned. "I don't want to hurt him, I don't. And I . . . I do care about him."

"But are you ready to love him the same way he loves you?" Billy asked before picking up her file. "You're measuring at twenty-one centimeters, which is perfect for twenty-two weeks. You've gained fifteen pounds. I'd like to see another five before your next appointment in four weeks, Izzy. If you need anything, let me know."

And before Bella could say anything, Billy walked out of the room, leaving her more confused than ever.

—RtW—

Bella stopped by the market after her appointment, but instead of going to the bar and confronting Edward about leaving, she went home. She needed some time to get her head together, so she decided to make cookies for him. She'd just placed the cookie sheet in the oven when the doorbell rang. Tossing the towel on the counter, she hurried out of the kitchen, opening the door to find Ben Cheney there with two large boxes in his hands.

"Hey, Ben." She looked past him. "What are you doing here?"

"Edward asked me to install a security system."

"Oh." She stepped backward and waved him in. "I assumed he was going to do it himself."

"Well, it's kind of what I do for a living. Full-time, I mean, so he asked me to get the best system on the market and install it sooner rather than later. Would have been here earlier, but I had to finish a job in Minnesota this morning."

"For his sister?"

Ben's eyes widened.

"You didn't think I knew about her, did you?"

"Can't say I did," he admitted. "I mean, he just told me and Angie about her last week, and we've been working with him since he bought the bar from Old Man Banner."

Bella nodded.

Ben placed the boxes on her coffee table and began opening them, unpacking four cameras, a pin pad, and almost a dozen wires. He paused and looked at her. "Angie and I were sorry to hear about Carlisle's passing. He was a good guy, a real good guy."

"Thanks," she murmured, leaning against the corner leading to the hallway. "Is Edward okay? He left this morning kind of quickly, so . . . is he okay?"

Ben inhaled a sharp breath. "I'm kind of worried about him, actually."

"You think he'd start drinking again?"

"No." Ben turned back to his equipment. "No, he won't ever lose himself like that again, Izzy. He's . . ." He placed his hands on his hips before turning back to her. "Look, I'm going to sound like a dick for a second, so I'm going to apologize beforehand. Edward's worked hard to turn his life around, to not let his feelings for you cause him to lose himself in a bottle or drugs. If you're not serious about him, about a relationship with him, you need to cut him loose now, Izzy, because he won't survive losing you again."

"Ben . . ." Bella laid her hand on her stomach. "I wish it were as easy as you're making it seem. I do, but I . . . it's complicated."

"Is it?" he asked before he picked up the first camera. "None of us blamed you or Carlisle for leaving Woodbury, Izzy. Jake's death hurt us all, but especially you two. He was your person. Hell, barely ever saw you and Carlisle without seeing Jake, Edward, Emmett, and Ro, too. You were a family, and when he died, it tore your family apart. You and Carlisle did what you thought was best for you, but everyone else was left behind. Especially Edward. He didn't have anyone left, Izzy. He lost his best friend, the girl he loved, and his little brother.

When he came back from California, he was different. Better because he wasn't drinking or using anymore, but he just . . . he wasn't . . . there was no life behind his eyes. But when you came back from New York, when he hung out with you, I saw changes. And I know that's not fair because the only reason you came back was because Carlisle died. But if you leave Edward behind again, he won't survive. That's just my two cents. Take it for what it's worth."

Ben motioned toward the front door. "Shouldn't take me more than an hour or so to get this installed."

Bella wanted to defend herself, to defend her hesitation to begin a relationship with Edward, but instead, she busied herself in the kitchen.

Could she love Edward as much as he loved her? As much as she had loved Carlisle?

Thank you for all the AMAZING reviews and for being patient. I am not going to promise consistent updates, but please know that I have never not finished a story and I won't start now. I just need to be able to focus on myself and write when I can, not because it's expected. As always, I couldn't do it without Sunflower Fran and her red pen.