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Chapter 32

A Possibility?

Bella

The next few days at school I was completely absent.

Angela and Emmett asked me what was going on, but I had to think about it on my own first.

Over and over I went over the facts and the possibilities. The facts were that I wanted to be turned into a vampire after high school and spend eternity with Emmett, that I couldn't get pregnant as a vampire anymore, that I could get pregnant now but I didn't want a child yet, that I only wanted a child by Emmett, if at all, and that I couldn't because he was a vampire. When I considered all the facts, I had no options.

Then, last night, as I was having sex with Emmett and he was pouring into me, a thought occurred to me.

The vampire males had ejaculation ... ergo, also had semen ... ergo, they should be able to procreate, right? But Esmé and Rose couldn't have children. So it was up to them because their bodies were frozen and because they were no longer going through a cycle. But I was a human being. Did that mean that I could theoretically get pregnant by Em?

I was crafting all these conclusions all day today and decided it was best to ask Carlisle for advice.

If my conclusions were correct, I might have a small glimmer of hope to get out of my dilemma.

When I was researching infertility on the internet, I came across the topic of surrogate mother and egg freezing.

I felt completely stupid. I had never thought about children in such a way. I wondered what Emmett thought about the subject. I would ask him tonight.

"Em?", I asked, lying in his arms in my bed.

"What is it, Bells?"

"Well ... you know. I've been so preoccupied lately because of what Esmé said to me," I told him uncertainly.

"What were you guys talking about?", he asked.

"So ... she told me her story ... about her child. And she also told me about Rose."

I hesitated briefly at Rose's name. Emmett seemed to quickly get the point.

"Yes, Rose was devastated not being able to have children," he said.

"So, I wanted to ask you what you think about children. Do you want any? Someday?", I asked awkwardly.

His gaze wandered a bit into the distance.

"I am a vampire, Bella. I can't father any more children," he said resignedly.

"But if you could?", I urged him further.

"If I were still human, I would already like to have children ... someday. But like I said, I can't."

Emmett would have really liked to have children? He didn't strike me as the father type at all.

I explained to him the conclusions I had made last night and today at school.

"Umm ... I never thought of it that way. Then you could still get pregnant by me right now?"

Something about the thought seemed to appeal to him.

"I also think it would be best to talk to Carlisle about it," he said. He was quiet for a while, thinking. "Wow ... I mean ... you ... I could you really ... We could really have a baby? That's ... kind of crazy," he stammered around.

Why did he sound so excited at the thought of having a child with me? Was it possible that he wanted a child - more than he admitted? I just couldn't picture Emmett as a responsible father.

He sat up.

" Come on, let's go right now and ask him. Why didn't I ever think of that? Why didn't Carlisle ever think of that?" he said and got dressed.

I got up a little sluggishly. It was only eight o'clock in the evening, but I was already quite tired. When I was ready, he took me on his back and ran off.

Emmett was almost as euphoric at the race as I was when I rode the wolves.

As we walked into the house, he said Carlisle's name without raising his voice.

He would hear it.

And two seconds later he was standing with us.

Emmett

"Hello, Bella, Emmett. What's up?", he greeted us.

We explained to him the situation and Bella's theories.

He listened to everything patiently, said 'umm' and nodded a few times, thinking long after we finished telling.

I never thought of it before because we never knew our companions as humans, only as vampires. But you might be right. On the other hand, humans and vampires don't have the same number of chromosome pairs, which could complicate a pregnancy. But basically you might be right," he said, deep in thought.

He had just said that it was possible that Bella and I could have a child. I wondered why the thought of it made me so euphoric. As a human being, I never wanted children ... but seventy years later?

"I think we should definitely have your egg cells harvested and frozen, Bella. If that's what you want," he said, turning to Bella.

Freezing egg cells sounded kind of creepy.

"If you don't want children now, but still want to become one of us when you finish school, it might be useful later to have your egg cells. We can ask the question about a surrogate mother and everything else when the time comes," he continued.

Bella seemed to agree with this, so I was too.

We were back at her house and lying in bed.

"Em?"

"Umm ...?"

"So, I noticed that you ... that the prospect of having a child with me kind of ... I don't know ... made you feel cheerful," she stammered.

Yes, it made me feel happy and the idea of Bella holding a little baby with my dimples somehow warmed my heart.

"Yes ... already," I said shortly.

"I now can't have a baby yet. I want to enjoy life with you a little more before I have to take responsibility for a baby," she told me.

"I didn't ask for anything, my sweet Bella. Don't drive yourself crazy over it. We'll wait until you're ready," I told her and kissed her forehead. "Go to sleep now. It's going to be a long day tomorrow. I heard there's a bear on the loose in a forest not far from here. If you want, we'll play hooky and I'll take you hunting," I suggested.

Bella looked me enthusiastically in the eyes.

"Really? You're really taking me with you?"

"Sure. You've always wanted to see it, right?"

She nodded and snuggled up to me.