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Chapter 6
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Emmett
My fangs were already touching her neck, I just had to bite.
Wait! What the hell was I doing?!
I closed my mouth and gave her a kiss on the neck.
She was still sleeping peacefully.
How could I surrender to my instincts like that? Bella was so incredibly trusting. Without a sign of fear, she simply let me, a vampire, into her bed. And I idiot almost betrayed her trust. I felt so bad. It would probably be better if I left before I was tempted again.
Very gently I released my hand from hers.
"Emmett?" she said in a sleepy voice.
Oh no, I had woken her up. When I was about to kill her, she was still sleeping like a baby and as soon as I moved my hand, she woke up.
She took my hand firmly in her hands again.
"Emmett, stay with me, please. I don't want to be alone ..." she whispered in an almost pleading voice.
How could I refuse something that such an enchanting, sweet voice asked of me.
She turned around and put her head in the hollow between my shoulder joint and chest. Her left arm lay on my upper body.
I could hear it in her pulse and breathing that she was not asleep yet. But she said nothing more, so I left her in her thoughts until she could fall asleep again.
Bella
I woke up when I felt a slight movement by my hands.
"Emmett?"
I saw Emmett trying to pull his hand out of my hands.
Was he going to leave? No, I didn't want him to leave. His cool body soothed me, and I felt so safe in his big strong arms. Besides, I was afraid that I would start crying again if I were alone.
"Emmett, stay with me, please. I don't want to be alone ...", I pleaded.
And I took his hand firmly in my hands again.
Emmett was so incredibly sweet. He was hurt himself, but came to me for comfort. In his arms, I could almost forget what Rose and Edward had done to both of us.
I turned onto my right side and rested my head on Emmett's shoulder. With my left arm I wrapped around his upper body so that he could not go.
Of course, that was completely pointless. If he wanted, he could smash trees and mountains, my arm could not hold him back.
But he stayed. I felt his chest rise and fall slightly under my arm.
Edward had rarely breathed when I was this close to him. Wasn't my blood that tempting to Emmett? Though his skin was as cold as any other vampire's, his presence filled me with warmth. It was so strange. I had just lost the love of my life, and yet I felt comfortable in Emmett's arms.
When I woke up the next morning, I immediately realized that I was alone in my bed again.
I sat up and looked around my room.
Emmett was no longer there.
I lay back in bed and pulled the thick blanket all the way over me, like I used to do as a kid when I was afraid of being eaten by the monsters. Today, of course, I knew that the monsters were just the shadows from the tree outside my window.
Now I lay there - under my cave - and curled up like a hedgehog. For a while I just lay there, no idea how long. Ten minutes or four hours. I didn't know. I just tried with all my might to keep the memories locked deep in my brain. But after an indeterminate amount of time, I gave up and memories that I wanted to prevent at all costs came up inside me.
'How can you stand it? I mean, as a man, you must want it even more than I do, right?'
Of course, now it was clear to me how he could go without for so long when he was having fun with this slut on the side! I was so jealous when Edward told me Carlisle created Rosalie wishing they would become a couple. Yet Edward said he never had any interest in her obvious beauty. Why hadn't I seen it sooner? Maybe I didn't want to see it. I was too wrapped up in the belief that he really loved me. I thought he loved me. How many times he had sworn it to me - with his golden eyes piercing me and destroying all doubt. I loved him, more than anything in this world, but he had only fooled me.
Tears overwhelmed me and I had to concentrate on calming myself back down. If I started sobbing, Charlie would hear it.
Jacob was right when he said Edward wasn't as great as I thought he was. But how could I believe him then. I was blinded by love. And now?
I searched for words that could express my feelings toward Edward.
Disgust? Hate? ... love? I still felt how much I had loved him, but I could never forgive him again. The feeling of love towards this human - or better said - towards this vampire, were only last remnants of the love I felt before. These remains would also disappear, and I would only be able to hate him - and forget him. Hopefully.
Jake and Emmett made me forget my broken heart last night. But now, all alone in my blanket cave, I could feel it. I could feel the splinters of my heart very clearly. I wanted to scream, it hurt so much. But it was only 5:30 in the morning and Charlie was not to know of my suffering. Where was Emmett? Why hadn't he stayed to save me from this crash?
Tears again.
I breathed in and out regularly - and tried not to think about anything. Simply breathing in and out was my current task. That's what I wanted to concentrate on, so that I wouldn't think about the pain.
I succeeded for a while, but eventually the bad thoughts managed to envelop me, and I plunged further into my grief.
The last six months seemed so pointless to me - now that it was all over. For what had I invested all my love and time in this vampire? It would have been better if I had stayed with my mom. No! If I hadn't come here, I never would have met Alice and Jasper, Carlisle and Esmé, and of course Emmett. They were still my family. I loved them so much. But now that I was no longer with Edward, could I still call them my family? Alice was still my best friend, but the others? Would they perhaps move away to make me better forget what had happened?
Tears were running down my cheeks.
They were not allowed to leave; I would miss them all so much!
I wrapped my arms around my legs and body.
My fingernails dug into my upper arms. I was shaking all over. I felt my injured wrist again.
Last night Emmett's body had cooled my hand nicely and it didn't hurt so much anymore. But now I could feel the sharp pain. The pain was nothing compared to my heartache, so I accepted it gratefully and focused on it. All the time I was trying to move my wrist so it would hurt more. That way I wasn't thinking about Edward and Rose or my family, who I didn't even know if I could call them that anymore.
Slowly my pulse and breathing calmed down.
The tears were still running, but they were pain tears because of my wrist.
I desperately needed a doctor, and I couldn't go to Carlisle. I didn't want to run into Edward by chance. I had a new task to accomplish - go to the doctor. That should take my mind off things for the next few hours.
I looked at my watch and was amazed to see that it was already 10:17 a.m.
Had I really spent almost five hours curled up under that blanket? I hadn't even heard when Charlie had left. Good.
The first thing I did was to go to the bathroom and take a shower with warm water and also wash my hair, since it was already partially wet from tears.
The warm water was incredibly pleasant - like being under the covers. But I forced myself not to spend longer than necessary in the shower, otherwise I would have had time to think again.
I brushed my wet hair, blow-dried it dry and went back to my room.
A pink flash shot towards me, and I was embraced by two thin but incredibly strong little arms.
"Oh Bella! " Alice said. "It's so terrible what those two did. How are you feeling?"
"I'll be fine, Alice ..."
She shouldn't worry about me.
"I was just about to go to the doctor."
I didn't want to talk about the subject. I couldn't think about it without bursting into tears and I wanted to spare Alice that.
When she looked at me with a questioning look, I lightly waved my broken wrist in front of her.
"As a human, hitting hands as hard as granite is not particularly advisable," I quipped.
Alice rolled her eyes.
She didn't buy that I was in such a good mood to make jokes.
"I'm coming with you. I can't let you drive with this hand," she said.
I wanted to take a breath to object, but she beat me to it.
"Don't argue."