(J)
No aftermath ever promised to be easy. The busyness of my proud work as a headmaster never ceased. My workload picked up significantly within the past couple weeks. No rest. Only mountains of work to sort through day in and day out. Recently, my dreams started to take place in this office. Instead of dreading that, I thought of it as proof of how dedicated I was to my position. Dreams about paperwork, meetings with staff or outsiders, keeping quiet, and endless emails became bearable at that angle. Wednesday appeared to be the busiest before the week fizzed out into the weekend. This fine morning cooled my coffee induced focus with it's seasonal downpour. The noise relaxed the world around me as it stayed at a perfect volume. Whether it be the weather or some unknown coincidence, my usual work load lightened.
Emails cut to a quarter of the usual. A welcome surprise. No new stack of paperwork to start the day with? Hm, strange. No phone calls? Too good to be true. I settled down at my desk in awe of it. Whiplash hit me as I calmly stared at my nearly vacant inbox. Did I miss something? I supposed part of this could be because the Steering Committee all had to attend a meeting. Possible, but they had plenty of meetings within this time and I never had it easy! Perhaps business begun getting back to usual. Caffeine helped me stayed focused on what I had to do. Although the amount was much less, work had to be done.
Just as I started, my phone rang. The noise caused me to jump before I picked it up with no expectation of who or what it could be. I ignored the caller ID. "Are you available for a chat, Mr. Kirigiri?" Hope's Peak's secretary. I thought about making a joke about how I've been available with the unanticipated calmness, yet that could jinx my future self. Instead I opt for a more professional response.
"I am! What seems to be the problem?"
"I have a woman here that would like to talk to you about her son in the Reserve Course."
"Not a problem. Send her my way."
I replaced the phone to it's hook. Reserve course? Usually, when their parents came to talk to me, it's about wanting either a discounted tuition or placing their child in the Main Course. I had no say in pricing and scouting was a completely different process than they thought. Both being conversations I've had a handful of times. Normally, I'd be exhausted from the idea of going through that talk once again because entitled parents tend to take forever to grasp the point, but this time I practically hoped for it. Simply because she possibly came in to ask about the two students who passed away... Trained phrases on what to say rehearsed in my head.
The woman peeped into my office before making her way to the front of my desk. Bowing as she said an introduction. "Hinata Miyuki." I followed suit in order to keep tradition. "Kirigiri Jin. Please take a seat." My voice reflected the nice, professional, overly welcoming spirit I often had with parents. "Thank you. I know you're a very busy man, but this is important." The jaggedness of her hair added to her meaningful confidence as she seated herself. Here it came. No matter how polite it started, that's no guarantee it'll end that way. "What seems to be the issue?" I kept my eyes on her expression. No anger or entitlement like I'd expect with the repeated topics, but something else entirely. Worry. A sign of her reason to be here was more detrimental. Either way, I kept my composure.
Before continuing, Mrs. Hinata let out a sigh. "I'm sorry for coming to you like this, but my son recently moved into a dorm here. I haven't seen or heard from him since." Oh, a completely different issue. Reserve Course students weren't allowed to have dorms. In case the secretary got something confused, I didn't interrupt or poke holes in her claim. "I see. That happens quite a bit, unfortunately. Students get so involved in their studies and school life that it's difficult to keep in touch. How long has it been since you heard from him?" Not an uncommon problem, but not something I usually get involved in. Seeing this woman get as worried as she did felt different than the few other times a similar situation happened within my time here.
"8 days... It's not like him at all." She played with her hands as she troubledly spoke. I noticed her brightly colored nails as she moved her hair out of her face, possibly to stop herself from fidgeting more in the pause of me gathering thoughts. I opened my mouth to continue to reassure her, but her confident yet distressed tone stopped me. "Tell me, Mr. Kirigiri, are you a father?" She glimpsed at the only picture on my desk. From her angle, she could only see the back of a frame, yet she accurately guessed. An old picture of me holding Kyoko as a child. One of the very few pictures I have of her and the only picture I have of us together. "Yes, I am." I turned the frame slightly so she could look at the beloved image. Although in the moment, I wasn't sure why, now I think I did that to prove it to not only her but to myself.
Mrs. Hinata smiled at it as she continued. Her eyes studied the picture for a couple lingered seconds. "Then you can understand that gut feeling you get when something's wrong with your baby. I thought the same thing you did about Hajime, but that feeling has been gnawing at me for days." I completely understood that feeling, although I never see my daughter. There's been countless times where I'd swallow my pride and call my dad to see how she was doing. He only gave vague responses to those calls. Instead insisting that I come to my senses about our legacy. I nodded in agreement as I turned to my computer. "You said his name is Hinata Hajime, right?" She gave a "mhm" as she straightened her posture.
I typed in the characters as I wondered if she knew about the deaths and it added to her concern. Regardless, I maintained my demeanor. If that was the case, I wouldn't say any of my pre-written lines until she mentioned something pertaining to it. For a generic name, I found his file quickly. According to this, the secretary wasn't mistaken: Reserve Course. Clicking on it for more details and thinking of how this could possibly line up, I stayed quiet. File updated 8 days ago. Big, red letters stamped onto his picture spelling 'EXPELLED'. I stared at it for a second as I racked my brain on if I somehow signed off on this and forgot due to the Kuzuryuu incident. "Is something wrong?" The mother questioned as she tried to move to see the screen. "...I'm sorry, ma'am. You said your son moved into a dorm?" She looked shocked by the question.
"Yeah. He said he had some specialty classes that allowed him to move into one." Her demeanor no longer having as much formality. This simply didn't make any sense. My confused expression must be obvious as she awkwardly stared back at me. "Ma'am, I have personally never heard of a specialty class for Reserve Course students." I struggled to maintain this professional attitude as my mind tried to fit these pieces together. I knew for a fact that I didn't sign off on his expulsion after rethinking. Her face twisted into a terrified look. "N-no! I helped him move into a dorm. I can show you."
His picture on the screen pierced my soul. Scrolling down on his file stated that he got expelled for 'disciplinary action', yet I've never seen this boy in my office. My eye caught the picture frame as I turned back to this woman. Her son sharing her spiky hair. If the guilt of the cover up loomed over me like a childhood monster, then the guilt of my parental role loomed over me like an angry God. In that instant, both beings fixed their gaze upon me."...Mrs. Hinata. Can you show me on a map where this dorm is?" Rain pelted at the windows louder. A blessing to disguise my slipping demeanor. "Yes! It's the second one to the right on the first floor."
Sounds familiar. "Of which building?" She pointed to the correct place. I knew that room newly became available. The student originally in that room left recently since he had the chance to graduate early with an internship. No time for any deep cleaning or paperwork to mark it available again, much less with a new occupant. I thought over again if I somehow signed off on either of those things. My memory hasn't been affected poorly enough for the possiblity. None of this lined up. There had to be something I missed or didn't get informed of. I knew there had to be more.
"Let me make a quick call to double check something. I apologize. I won't take long." I get up to make the call outside the office with my cellphone. Not as professional and possibly seen as strange since my landline was clearly seen on my desk. She watched quietly as I stepped out. Hurriedly dialing the Steering Committee member that would be most likely to answer, I knew their meeting would be interrupted by the call. Ring. Ring. Ring. Ring. Ri- "Mr. Kirigiri, you know we're busy at the moment." A grain of tension left as he picked up. "Yes, sir, I apologize, but I have something urgent. Did any of your team sign off on Hinata Hajime getting expelled?" The appropriate first question, yet all of it was strange enough to be first.
"...Certainly, we did release Hinata. He posed challenges for our operations, and regrettably, we failed to communicate this to you promptly." Professional, almost rehearsed response followed a pause. Many more questions popped up with such a reaction. "I see. His mom is assuring me that she hasn't been in touch with him for 8 days. She also says that she assisted him in moving into a dorm and he started attending a special class that allowed him to move into one." No immediate response instead murmuring between themselves. I couldn't make out anything clearly.
"...We aren't aware of any program like that."
"Sir, she told me which dorm. It's one that hasn't been marked available yet. It used t-"
"Kirigiri. Clearly, this matter has more to do with a student lying to his mother about being expelled than any conspiracy. It's possible he ran away out of shame and lied to make it harder to find him. Just deal with her so she doesn't tarish our name with some nonsense– it's more of a family issue than anything else."
"... Understood. I apologize. Have a good meeting."
I disconnected the call. My moral intuition or the guilt monsters looking down on me forced me to reconsider instead of blindly going through with their requests as per usual. None of this made logical sense. What could this student possibly have done to cause 'challenges for their operations'? Why did they fail to alert me? Typically, they told me too many details. The committee clearly hid something from me. Something with Hinata Hajime. What grand 'conspiracy' would be worth hiding if they informed me on Kuzuryuu? I would suspect that he found out more about that case, yet I assume the committee would be transparent about that whenever it happened.
I reenter my office with an apology. "I needed some other details. I apologize for that, Mrs. Hinata." She glared back at me from the chair. Plainly, as if it was a simple question with no emotional ties, she shot an interrogation. "Why did my son get expelled?" No! In a panicked haste to make the call, I overlooked locking my computer. Her expression hinted at the held back rage while her eyes burned into me like the manifestion of those guilt monsters. "That's what I was calling about."
Despite consistently biting my tongue for this school, I reached a breaking point where the shame became unbearable. All judgement for my reputation or job pointed to following orders: tell the story the committee fed me. A story about his humility leading to him running away or possibly suicide. A plausible story on paper, yet I simply couldn't lie to her. I knew in both a logical and instinctual sense wherever the boy ended up wasn't due to discipline. Angry eyes her son inherited ripped my thinning facade. Her explanation of 'that gut feeling' started to eat at me too, despite not remembering Hinata until now. She continued to stare into my spirit. Rage and confusion wrapped around my throat like a noose.
"Ma'am... Truthfully, I did not sign off on his expulsion." Silently, she stood up. I walked over to my desk in order to maintain a feeling of control as if that corrected my mistake of not committing to the story. Never breaking eye contact, her face maintained those suffocating emotions. "We both know this is ridiculous, right? Even if I believed you, it's just plain ridiculous. My son could be in serious danger and you're acting this way?" Her arms crossing caused this short woman to appear more powerful. A controlled rage staring up at me as we stood on opposite sides of my desk. "Tell me the truth. If it's not as a headmaster, do it as a fellow parent."
As if I was the child in this situation, I folded. Lying to her would be shot through. I thought of a way to continue my dedication to Hope's Peak while giving the face on my monitor staring back at me some answers. Answers I, myself, wanted. "Mrs. Hinata. I'm just as confused as you are. Is there a chance he ran away?" The words spilled out like I got caught red-handed. Teenage run-aways happened commonly all over the world. A reasonable possibility even if she didn't see his file. She shook her head, anxiety mixing with her rage and confusion. Despite considering future accountability, I gave her hopefully helpful advice. "Then call the police." Hurriedly turning around and heading out the door, she pulled out her flip phone. The clack of her heels echoed in my ears louder the rain beating on the window. I sat back down as I no longer fought for air. Her weakening presence freed the pressure around my neck. In this dim, claustrophobic space, my thoughts questioned whether I should have approached this situation differently.