Impasse
Disclaimer: all characters and copyright belong to SM.
Two Shocks
Filled with worry over Jacob's strange behavior, Bella pushed herself onto her feet, wobbling slightly as she tried to maintain her balance with the heavy walking cast. She stared at Jacob as he roamed back and forth across the room, biting her lip anxiously – he was really frightened.
"Jacob." She said uncertainly.
Jacob didn't look at her. The tempo of his pacing increased; his whole being primed to track down this mysterious noise that only he could hear.
"Please, Jake, you're scaring me." Bella whispered. "Won't you come over here and sit down?"
Hearing the panic in her tone finally made him look at her. "Bella, you must be able to hear that? And that smell – "He trailed off, blinking rapidly a few times and shaking his head as if to clear it. "Jeez, what's happening to me? I feel like I'm going crazy."
"Jake, come here." Bella held out her hand toward him, begging with her eyes for him to return to her side.
Jacob stood irresolute a few feet away, biting hard on his lower lip and clenching his hands. He looked like he was about to cry.
Bella couldn't take it anymore. She hobbled forward, slowly closing the gap between them. Jacob made no move to approach, just gazed at her with ambivalent eyes.
Shuffling forward another few inches, Bella finally reached him. She threw her arms around him instinctively, wrapping them around his waist and pressing her face against his chest. He was so big, she felt like a child hugging a grown-up.
"Oh, Jake, it'll be okay." She promised. "You're not going crazy. You're just running a fever. If it's getting worse maybe we should call Billy."
Jacob was frozen for a second, and then his long arms wrapped hesitantly around her. "Thanks, Bella." His voice was huskier than usual. Bella could feel the heat from his feverish skin powering even through the thick material of his sweatshirt.
They stood like that for a moment, and it didn't even occur to her that she was already blurring the lines of their relationship again. In fact, she felt comforted by the contact. This didn't feel anything like the last time someone had embraced her this way. In her head she told herself it was friendship. And Jacob needed her.
It was strange for her, being this close – emotionally rather than physically, though the physical was strange for her, too – to another person close to her age. It wasn't her usual style. She didn't normally relate to people so easily, on such a basic level.
But this was Jacob. Things had been as easy as breathing between them right from the beginning.
"If this is how you're going to react, I'll freak out more often." Jacob's voice was light, normal again, and his laughter rumbled against her ear. His fingers touched her hair, soft and tentative.
It was only then that Bella realized what she had done by instinctively embracing him this way. After all she had said earlier.
She pulled away quickly, laughing with him, but determined to put things back into perspective at once.
"Its hard to believe that I'm two years older than you." She said, emphasizing the word older. "You make me feel like a dwarf." Standing this close to him, she really had to crane her neck to see his face.
Jacob patted her head. "You're like a little doll." He teased. "A porcelain doll."
Bella rolled her eyes, shuffling back a little. "Let's not start with the albino cracks."
"Seriously, Bella, are you sure you're not?" Jacob stretched his russet arm out next to hers, pulling up his sleeve a little to compare skin tones. The difference wasn't flattering. "I've never seen anyone as pale as you…. well, except for – " He broke off as he saw her wince. "Sorry. I'm an idiot. I didn't mean to bring them up."
"Its okay." Bella dismissed it, not wanting to bring the mood down again. Even though he was still burning up, Jacob seemed a lot calmer now. Her impromptu hug seemed to have done the trick and distracted him enough to make him think more rationally. "How are you feeling now?"
"Hot." Jacob admitted, but he was smiling and his dark eyes looked clear.
Bella laughed, feeling relieved that he seemed in a better frame of mind. She leaned on his arm for assistance as he helped her hobble back to the sofa. He helped her sit back down, before flopping down next to her, exhaling loudly.
"It's been one crazy night, huh." He declared, running his fingers through the satiny strands of his long black hair.
"Yeah." Bella agreed with a weary sigh. She glanced at Jacob again, just to check on him once more, but he looked comfortable enough. He had one arm over the back of the sofa, the heat pouring off him warming Bella's side nicely. Jacob really did look older than his age – not quite forty, but definitely older than her. He was so well built, his muscles were the long, wiry kind, obvious even under his loose sweatshirt. His skin was such a pretty color, it made her jealous.
Jacob noticed her scrutiny.
"What?" He asked, suddenly self-conscious.
"Nothing. I just hadn't realized before." Bella said without thinking.
"Realized what?"
"Did you know you're sort of beautiful?"
Once the words slipped out, she worried that he might take her impulsive observation the wrong way.
But Jacob just rolled his eyes. "You're cute." He said, laughing.
"I'm serious."
"Well, then, thanks. Sort of."
Bella grinned. "You're sort of welcome."
Bella blamed the heat pouring from Jacob's body for the reason why she unintentionally fell asleep. As she dozed, she dreamed.
"Edward." She cried.
"Yes, I'm here."
"It hurts." She whimpered.
"I know, Bella. I know" – and then, away from her, anguished – "can't you do anything?"
"My bag, please…Hold your breath, Alice, it will help." Carlisle promised.
"Alice?" Bella groaned.
"She's here. She knew where to find you."
"My hand hurts, Edward." She tried to tell him.
"I know, Bella. Carlisle will give you something, it will stop."
"My hand is burning!" She screamed, finally breaking through the last of the darkness, her eyes fluttering open. She couldn't see Edward's face, something dark and warm was clouding her eyes. Why couldn't they see the fire and put it out?
Edward's voice was frightened. "Bella?"
"The fire! Someone stop the fire!" Bella screamed as it burned her.
"Carlisle! Her hand!"
"He bit her." Carlisle's voice was no longer calm, it was appalled.
Bella continued to languish in agony, her head flopping from side to side as she screamed, the burning eating her up from the inside. There was no relief from the torment. She opened her mouth to scream again –
-and fell off the sofa and onto the floor with a dull thud.
Bella woke up suddenly, feeling slightly winded from the fall, her eyes opened like two flashlight beams, she twisted her head, looking for Jacob, but he was gone.
Using the palms of her hands to push herself into a sitting position, Bella fell back against the sofa, her cramped muscles protesting all the way as she eased the despicable walking cast into a more comfortable position. She took a moment to get her bearings, trying to calm her racing heart and mind.
Without being aware of what she was doing, Bella began to scratch the bitemark on her right wrist to satiate the burning itch that had suddenly flared up. The remnants of her nightmare still lingered, but she refused to acknowledge the fading images, her self-denial the only way she had of protecting herself against the damning evidence that the dark recesses of her subconscious mind were forcing her to remember.
Where was Jacob?
The last thing she recalled was him sitting beside her on the sofa before she had fallen asleep.
"Jacob!" She called out, hoping he was somewhere close enough that he could hear her.
There was no response.
With difficultly, Bella used the sofa for support as she climbed clumsily to her feet, the damnable walking cast impeding her all the way. She called out Jacob's name again, but he still didn't answer. Where the hell was he?
"Jake, this isn't funny anymore! Where are you?"
Scanning the immediate area, she could see that he wasn't in the room. There was only one lamp burning, casting more shadows than normal. These shadows seemed particularly menacing now that she was alone.
"Jake?" She tried again, raising her voice a little louder.
Had he gone home without telling her? Surely not! He would have at least left a note.
But another quick look showed no sign of any kind of communication that he might have left behind – which meant he had to be somewhere in the house. Maybe he was in the bathroom. He had been running a fever after all. Perhaps he had been sick or something. If so, then why wasn't he answering?
Bella managed to shuffle to the bottom of the stairs. Holding onto the banister to steady herself, she called Jacob's name again, asking him if he was alright. Again, all she was met with was a deathly silence. She was feeling more unnerved with each passing minute. Jacob wasn't the pranking kind, just knowing what she had been through, he would never pull such a cruel trick like that. No, something was really wrong. What if he was passed out on the bathroom floor? How was she supposed to get to him?
"Jake, are you up there? Can you hear me?"
Bella felt like her brain was being overloaded with anxiety. She didn't know how much more of this she could take. There is a finite processing capacity and when your ability to process fear is exceeded panic attacks can begin. And this was happening to her right now. A true panic is painful. It is scary. Bella had been dealing with a number of stressors ever since the so-called 'accident.' The nightmares, the constant feeling of being on edge every time she went to school, in case she encountered the Cullens. The strange encounter with Edward, both at the hospital and the prom, only serving to heighten her already overstimulated nerves, was enough to render her helpless.
The sound of a door banging in the wind almost brought Bella to her knees. She held onto the banister for dear life, her breathing coming in short, rapid bursts. Her panicked thoughts had become so scattered that normal functioning was nigh on impossible. She yearned for Jacob's steady, comforting presence. She longed to hear his deep, husky voice saying - "I am right here, Bells, I'll protect you."
The door banged again, again and again.
Bella knew she was going to have to move, to go and investigate. The logical choice would have been to reach for the phone and call Charlie at the station. But she was so overwhelmed, any logical thinking went right out of the window. Instead, she stumbled blindly toward the kitchen, which was the source of the noise. The bulky walking cast hampered her all the way, and she found her rising anger and frustration at her slowness overriding her initial panic.
By the time she reached the kitchen and snapped on the light, the door had banged closed. The net curtains at the window were fluttering in the strong breeze coming from outside. She didn't remember opening it. Dragging her injured leg, she made her way to the window and peered through it.
The obligatory rain descended upon the glass, drawing pretty organic waves. Even though it was dark outside, Bella could see the tips of the shadowy trees bordering the end of the garden. Through the skylight came a refreshing flow of air, enlivening her senses and relaxing her breath.
A flash of red caught her eye and she pressed her face closer to the window pane, her breath fogging the glass, forcing her to use the sleeve of her shirt to clear it. When she could see again, she was confronted with a creature out of her nightmares.
A monstrous wolf, his reddish-brown fur glossy and thick, moved into view. The enormous creature moved restlessly back and forth, seeming to have no sense of direction at all. Its legs were shaking, as if it was having trouble controlling them. It rather reminded Bella of how a newborn foal would move - gangly and uncoordinated.
Surprisingly the wolf's odd gait dispelled some of Bella's fear and panic. She wondered if it was lost or injured. Without thought for her own safety, she hobbled toward the back door and wrenched it open.
The enormous russet-colored wolf, alerted by the noise, looked up at her with startled black eyes, which seemed so familiar to Bella, that it chased away the last of her reservations. She could feel the wonder and fascination on her face as she stared out at him – and she was sure it was a him - from the kitchen doorway.
The wolf's muzzle fell open, pulling back over his teeth. It should have been a frightening expression, except his tongue lolled out the side in a type of wolfy grin.
Despite the obvious danger, Bella giggled.
The wolf's grin widened over his sharp teeth. It almost seemed like a grin of relief. He trotted toward her on his uncoordinated legs, nearly tripping over his large paws once or twice. He stopped at a few feet away, assessing, his gaze fixed on Bella's face.
"Its okay. I'm not afraid. You can come closer."
Gosh, she must be touched in the head to entice such a huge, monstrous, wild beast to come toward her, but Bella was way past rational thought. She bent down a little and held out her hand, gesturing for him to come closer. She had a deep longing to sink her fingers into that gloriously thick, glossy fur.
The wolf closed the gap cautiously. His black eyes still intent on hers. When he was only a foot away, he stopped again, crouching down on his front legs, and dropping his head so that his face was no higher than Bella's, still staring at her, measuring her response.
"You're beautiful." Bella breathed in awe.
The answering deep rumble from the wolf's chest sounded like one of pleasure.
Bella shuffled forward, edging nearer, her fingers outstretched and trembling slightly, ready, and willing to touch the red-brown fur on the side of the wolf's face.
"Bella! No!"
Edward Cullen and his sister, Alice, stepped out of the nearby trees just before Bella had a chance to make contact. She instantly recoiled at the sight of them, stumbling backwards through the kitchen doorway.
Startled, the red-brown wolf scrambled to his feet, his thick fur bristling, a low rumbling growl erupting from somewhere deep inside his chest. Alice had disappeared, but Edward still stood there motionless, assessing the wolf's response with guarded eyes.
Then in a blink of an eye he disappeared back within the trees. The red-brown wolf cast one glance over his shoulder toward Bella, a thrumming hum resonating in his throat as he looked at her longingly, then he, too, disappeared, following in Edward's wake.
"NO!" Bella cried, hobbling back outside, only to find that there was someone there, waiting for her.
Unnaturally still, and white, with her large black eyes' intent on Bella's face, Alice Cullen stood perfectly motionless, beautiful beyond imagining.
Bella's knees trembled for a second, and she nearly fell.
"Only you, Bella." Alice said in her bell like voice, sighing softly. "Let's get you safely back inside."
A/N-thanks for reading!