Canaria Monastery was founded by an order of knights, long after the Holfort continent had been explored and colonised. They called themselves the Seekers of the Last Unknown, and their purpose was to uncover the last undocumented fact of the Saint's life: her reason for sealing the Orks beyond the Blood Barrier.

The average historian had a perfectly reasonable hypothesis: that the dungeon vents from which the Orks emerged would never truly close, and that leaving an invincible dragon to keep an eye on them was far preferable to the catastrophic loss of life that would have resulted from constant military intervention. The temple had another theory: that she was not imprisoning them but making use of them, creating for herself an infinitely replenishing supply of guardians to guard some secret treasure within.

Every few decades the Seekers would launch a campaign against the Orklands, marching through the Blood Barrier only to be decimated by the creatures on the other side. One day, when most of the Kingdom's founders were dead, they finally succeeded. They penetrated through the Orklands, arrived at the Red Lake and scaled the elevated islands that dotted its surface. They never revealed what they found there, but they most certainly found something.

We know this because they immediately tried to cover it up.

After constructing a series of bridges connecting the islands, the knights built a great mausoleum atop the largest structure. There they declared that the spirits of the founders would protect the holy site; and indeed it is rumoured that all of the Five Adventurers as well as the Saint herself are interred there.

This was a blatantly political move; the idea was that if the site was connected to the Royal Family in some way then they would be obligated to send reinforcements and provisions. When this amateur attempt at psychological warfare failed the Seekers dug in, only to suffer drastic food shortages and equipment failure. The barren landscape had very little in the way of edible flora and fauna while the tainted lake water was extremely toxic, and on top of this their weapons and armour quickly began to degrade from the constant skirmishes with the Orks.

So they compromised. They abandoned their swords and armour and substituted them for magic and golems; the Orks were as vulnerable to magical artillery as they were the to the breath of the White Dragon, while a single golem could match an entire Ork raiding party and yet be easily replaced using the natural rocks of the Orklands. They would send these golems in squadrons to the many waterfalls that fed the Red Lake, bringing back great cauldrons of fresh water.

The bizarre minerals that gave the Red Lake its colouration made any soil it touched incredibly fertile, allowing them to grow plentiful crops to keep themselves fed. Their protein needs were met by the eggs and flesh of the chickens brought by their quartermasters, as well as certain fish that they identified as non-monsters after careful trial and error. Soon they were entirely self-sufficient, but at the cost of their way of life.

As they transitioned from knights into magicians, so too did the Seekers go from priests to monks. As once they built the mausoleum over the mysterious holy site, so too did they build a great library over the mausoleum. They gathered a great repository of knowledge, arming themselves to defend the Monastery from invaders as they believed the Saint once did with the White Dragon's aid. Knowledge, forbidden and otherwise, was gathered together and squirrelled away by agents sent across the world.

They say that these agents no longer exist, because all the knowledge of the world is now stored in Canaria Monastery.

All of this is common knowledge to any who would research the Seekers of the Last Unknown, but one great mystery still existed. And it had nothing to do with whatever they were protecting.

Somehow, the monks were able to replenish their numbers over the years. Children would appear under the name of Aspirants, and be put to work doing manual labour until they joined the monastic order as Novices at fifteen: they would then endure a rigorous six year education before finally being instated as Seekers of the Last Unknown.

No one knows where the Aspirants come from. Literally, no one. As part of their ongoing smear campaign against the Monastery, the temple likes to claim that they kidnap the children from their homes. Considering the frankly awe-inspiring number of Holfort children who go missing every year, not many people tell them they're wrong.

Huan Strongarm: A Bartfort Folktale, by Lufas Maphaahl

The elevator brought them to a wide landing made from wooden planks, attached to a carefully maintained stone building with a narrow opening through which to enter. As they exited the lift they were greeted by a truly ancient man, his face as weathered and cracked as parchment. He wore ceremonial robes, marked from top to bottom with glyphs.

"Welcome to Canaria, travellers," he greeted warmly. "I am Lyene, Keeper of the Gate."

"Greetings, Keeper." Suddenly Julius was a Prince again. "I am Julius Rapha Holfort, Crown Prince of Holfort. These two behind me are Jilk, heir of House Marmoria, and Chris, heir of House Arclight. This is Olivia, and beside her is her protector, Huan."

"And that would be the White Dragon on his back, yes?" Lyene chortled. He bowed low as Pietru preened. "I was fortunate to observe your battle from a distance. Both our Monastery and the lady alike are quite fortunate to have the two of you as defenders."

"Yeah," smiled Olivia. "I'm really lucky."

She made to pet him, only for Leon to draw away when she tried to touch his ears. "Please don't do that."

Lyene squinted thoughtfully. "Death and ruin are in your shadow, protector. In the halls of Canaria you may find what you seek."

Leon's ears pricked up. "I don't suppose that means you can understand me?"

"Before anyone asks, no: I do not speak dog." Leon's head, tail and ears all sank, while Pietru made a scathing remark at the Keeper's expense. They would learn later that he was lying, and just thought he was funny. "You and your allies have travelled far, but I am afraid there are worse things waiting for you than dragons and Orks."

"The zombie fairy baby factories, we know," huffed Leon. "Tell me something I don't know."

Lyene gestured to the narrow gateway, his robe making a sound like shifting sand as he moved. "I must ask you all to make your way to the upper courtyard, where you will find the quarters of Abbot Laurent. He has been expecting you all for some time now."

"Really?" Jilk asked curiously. "Did you receive a message from Holfort?"

"Speaking of which…" Julius pulled the freezing axe out of his belt, yelping again as it came out. "Man, that's cold!" He held it out so Leon could say goodbye, then hurled in the general direction of the capital. Pietru watched this happen with amused bafflement.

"I'm sure all that made perfect sense in context."

"Magic axe, letter tied to the shaft."

"Oh. Well alright then."

"But seriously," said Jilk. "How did you know we were coming?"

Lyene chuckled dryly. "How could we not? Every monk in the Monastery has been having visions about Lord Huan Strongarm here for the last ten years."

Leon felt his heart leap into his throat. "What?"

"Do enjoy your stay."

He led them through the narrow gate to a narrow courtyard, hemmed in by large stone structures covered with green ivy. The place was a mess of architecture, with intricate circular mosaics on the floor and pentagonal pillars supporting the corners of the buildings, which had inlaid brick bases supporting what almost looked like modern concrete.

Before they could ask Lyene any further questions they were overwhelmed by the way the monks looked at them, specifically the large black wolfdog. They kept catching the words 'Huan' and 'Strongarm' and 'Tragedy' being endlessly repeated; Leon's hackles rose, as did those of the tiny Elder Dragon on his back.

"I don't like this," hissed Pietru. "We should leave."

"We can't," whispered Leon. "They have something we need."

Passing between the tightly packed buildings they arrived at a cobblestone stair, leading up to a terrace lit by the midday sun. A narrow path led them past chickens scratching in the dirt, tended to by young children in dire need of a bath.

A second stair led them to the second terrace, this time beautiful and green with flowers and trees all around. Crenellated parapets allowed one to gaze out over the Orklands, though most of the people they saw chatted on benches or sat on the grass or walked among the many beautiful things. A huge brazier sat at the far end of the terrace, its crackling flames sheltered by a stone roof held up by four pillars. The monks continued to point as they passed, too self-conscious to appreciate their surroundings.

They arrived in a beautiful place that could only have been the Upper Courtyard, the ground decorated with beautiful patterns that Leon didn't know enough on the subject to identify. He knew from the game which of the buildings held the Abbot's office, padding toward it as the others followed. He shouldered the door open, finding himself in a plain room with a wooden floor. The walls were plain white, and the windows had no curtains.

Aside from a few bookshelves and a staircase, there were only two things in the room: one was an old monk at a desk pouring over several dozen ledgers, while the other was a grandmotherly old woman. She was looking straight at him and smiling enigmatically.

"Greetings," she bowed, ignoring everyone else. "I am Ukham the Wanderer, Prioress of Canaria. I am the second monk of the Order and leader of the six masters." She turned and gestured to the man at the desk. "This is Master Ean, the Chamberlain."

The man gave them a polite nod, then did a massive double take when he saw Leon. "Holy crap!" he croaked, his quill dropping from his fingers.

"This is really starting to unnerve me," admitted Leon.

"You are all here to see the Abbot, yes?" she asked pleasantly. "He's right upstairs."

Everyone looked at Leon; he gritted his teeth, but led the way.

Abbot Laurent was a tall man, with a long red robe and a small red hat. He sort of looked like Sean Connery, being good looking in a silver fox kinda way with a trimmed grey beard. He also appeared to be blind, his eyes almost entirely white with the iris and pupil barely visible.

"Lord Huan," he nodded solemnly. "I have been waiting for you for quite some time."

"Uh… Sir?" Julius stepped on hesitantly. "We… We're actually here for-"

"For the book," he said flatly. "I know. Non-forbidden texts are kept in the Minor Library. Speak to Brother Eamon and mention my name; he should let you have it for free."

The group looked at one another uncertainly. "Is that it?" Chris asked nervously. "You're just… You're just going to give it to us and let us leave?"

"I will," nodded Laurent, seating himself behind an ancient, beaten up desk. "But I must ask you and your two friends to go alone for now. The fairy, the Hound and the White Dragon I would speak to for a while."

The boys didn't move. Clearly, they desperately didn't want to leave them alone with the unsettling man. "Go on," said Olivia. "He's not planning to hurt us."

A small smile curled at the end of his mouth. He waited for them to leave before he continued. There was a long silence before he spoke. "Tell me, little fairy, do you know exactly what you turned this man into?"

Olivia jumped a little. "He's… uh… I mean… a dog?"

Abbot Laurent laughed, his face becoming just a bit softer. "You have no idea what he is. To be honest, we don't know either. There is only one thing that we know for sure."

He pointed straight at Leon, his robe fluttering dramatically. "Within the next few months, this man shall be slain in battle. And his killer shall be the Greatest Wolf to Ever Draw Breath."

Leon felt a cold hole open up inside of him. There were no words to express how badly he needed a hug at that moment.

Olivia dropped to her knees and threw her arms around his neck, while Pietru nuzzled into his neck and crooned. "It's going to be alright." She was already starting to cry, her voice thick with tears. "I'm not… I'll never let anyone hurt you!"

"You will have no choice in the matter." Laurent's voice was gentle, as though speaking to a child. "This is his fate. His doom. There is no escaping it."

"You can't do this!" Pietru snarled. She began to grow until she was the same size as Leon himself, her wings spread as she growled threateningly. "I know you understand us, Abbot! No living being deserves to know its own fate!"

"It is his right to know," said the Abbot. "The very fact that he is standing in this room means that the Wolf is already on the continent. There is no escape. There never was."

"Then who the hell are they?" demanded Olivia. "Are they a monster? A demon? If you're being metaphorical-"

"I'm not," said the Abbot firmly. "The Greatest Wolf to Ever Draw Breath will slay the Huan the Protector within sight of Holfort; it will be in the same location where the legendary Strongarm once saved the Crown Prince, before the next winter's snow has melted. I've watched it happen over and over again every night for ten years, as have every other monk you saw on your way in. There is no avoiding this."

"You're avoiding the question!"

Laurent thought about it and seemed to decide that she was right. "We know only three things about this Wolf: first is that it shall be a force of evil, and bring great grief and suffering."

Olivia's mind raced. "Huan!" she whispered, her face still flat against his fur. "He might be talking about a Warmother! Remember, we talked about how they might have different forms! If one of them resembles a Wolf…" She suddenly realised how long it had been since Leon had spoken. "Huan?"

"The second thing we know is, of course, how it shall soon face you in battle," Laurent continued. "Finally, we know that in the instant of your death it shall become one of the greatest forces of good that the world has ever-"

"Huan, please!" Olivia begged. "Talk to me!"

Leon took in a long, shuddering breath. "I'm sorry," he said quietly. "I need a minute."

He slipped out of Olivia's arms and padded out of the room. He instantly regretted stepping out of the building, as it just exposed him to more staring and whispering from the monks. Pietru exited the window above his head, and by the time she landed beside him she was once more the size of a cat.

"I would like to point out that there are nonzero odds he is making all this up."

Leon gave a harsh bark of laughter. "Thank you. That means a lot."

"And even if he's being serious, there could still be ways around it. It's all in the wording."

"This year, before the snow melts. That's pretty specific." Leon looked out over the walls, his spectacular vision letting him see across the boundless miles between the mountains to the outside world. All this power and he was going to die in a glorified animal attack. What a fucking joke. "The first snow of the year is due in a few weeks. I might not have long."

The tiny dragon looked up at him helplessly. "This isn't fair! They can't just… just take away your future like this!"

"They aren't responsible for this." The idea that he had weeks left to live wasn't too bad; honestly, he had come so close to death so often recently that it just wasn't scary anymore. What had really hurt was the stone cold certainty that he would never see his family again. The mere thought made him want to curl into a ball and cry. "Did you hear what he said at the end there?"

Pietru cast her mind back. "He said… that when you died, the Wolf would immediately turn good. But… But how would that even…"

"It's called an epiphany," sighed Leon. "It's when the villain, whoever they are, has a dramatic revelation that causes them to rethink their views. Or anyone, really."

Pietru shifted her paws uncomfortably. "I've never heard of that…"

"Do you want to know another funny term?" Leon continued. "Stuffed into the Fridge. It's a term broadly referring to when someone is killed, or raped, or hurt in some other way just to affect someone else. Writers use it all the time; they sacrifice less important characters, using them like kindling to make the protagonist burn brighter. The term comes from how a villain once literally murdered the hero's girlfriend and stuffed her in a fridge for him to find."

Olivia was now standing in the doorway behind him, tears of heartbreak in her eyes.

"It's like… It's like that's their whole purpose in life. Their hopes, their dreams, everything they've ever experienced before that point… all of it means nothing compared to some hack writer's main character getting some quick, cheap heroic motivation. Because that's all they were really good for. Nothing else." Leon's shoulders slumped miserably. "Maybe I should be grateful. At least it's a cut above a background character."

He yelped a little in surprise as Olivia hugged him from behind, burying her face in his fur. "You're more than that to me," she mumbled. "And if anyone tries to say otherwise then I'll just ruin their story myself, even if I have to become the worst villain in the world to do it."

Leon's eyes burned. "Olivia," he said softly. "I…"

"You didn't let me finish." They jolted apart as the Abbot materialised behind them, his eyebrows raised and his lips curled in amusement. He stepped out of the building, the Chamberlain and the Prioress close behind. "Tell me, do you know what the number one cause of death is for monks of our Order?"

Leon blinked, having not expected the question. "Uh… falling into the Red Lake while drunk?"

He could tell from how Laurent smothered a laugh that Pietru was right, and he really did understand them. "Close, but no. The greatest bringer of death for our monks is the forbidden knowledge contained within our books. It is the reason why our Novices require six years of tutelage before they can read them for themselves." He pointed at his eyes for emphasis. "It is how I myself became blind. Our Cellarer's face is a permanent mess of boils and sores, should you need further evidence."

"Yikes, okay!"

"But then, on top of the constant visions our studies cause us, a new vision appeared. We saw you, Huan, battling the creatures you know as Warmothers. Time and again, night after night, we watched as you fought the nightmarish face of evil with only claws and fangs as your weapons. Do you know how that made us feel?"

The three monks lead them to a second building with huge double doors, which they dramatically threw open. Their jaws dropped as they saw what was inside.

Someone had painted an enormous, glorious mural on the far wall. It depicted Leon and Pietru standing back to back, snarling in a battle ready posture. They were surrounded by thousands of dark terrifying creatures resembling many-tailed lizards, which Leon instinctively knew to be Warspawn.

"We were inspired," whispered the Abbot breathlessly. "You fought the nightmares, you fought the spectres that tormented us night and day, and you prevailed!"

"The first time I saw you, it looked like you were fighting an army," smiled the Prioress nostalgically. "They were like all-devouring jaws on four legs, but you slaughtered them with ease."

"When I saw you, you were on a mountain," said the Chamberlain. "You were fighting a floating man with grey skin alongside a winged knight and three winged lions. He fled from you like a coward."

"For me it was a vision of our own island," smiled Laurent nostalgically. "You killed a giant monster from the inside as strange ships like flying saucers circled overhead."

Leon thought for a second that he had misheard. "Flying saucers?"

"The point is, our attitudes towards the things we saw in our visions began to change. Suddenly they weren't so invincible. They could be defeated. We could look them in the eye, because someone - somewhere - faced them down without fear. You're not just some hero's character motivation, Huan. You make us brave."

He placed his hand on Leon's shoulder; something in the way he did it made him feel human again.

"Listen. Can you hear what they're saying?"

A few Aspirants were playing by the mural. One was wearing a white towel over his head and chasing the others around the room. "Cower, mortals!" the kid was saying. "You stand before Grandmaster Meio! Despair, stupid faces!"

A little girl in a black onesie with cute dog ears stood in his way. "Never fear! Huan is here!" They tumbled to the ground with a giddy squeal; it was quite possibly the most uplifting thing that Leon had ever seen.

Abbot Laurent smiled warmly. "Before you were Huan, Mightiest of Hounds, you were Strongarm the Legendary Adventurer. Before the people who saw you save them from the Queen-Mother, there was Julius. Before you saved Julius from Lord Korel, there was Iven. Before you saved him from madness and despair, there was us. Quite literally, we thought you were a hero before it was cool."

He had no words. Leon didn't say anything, because nothing he could say would truly express how he felt. Instead he just ducked his head so they couldn't see his face. Abbot Laurent cleared his throat.

"Anyway, we only have three things we want to tell you. First of all…" He, the Prioress and the Chamberlain bowed low. "Thank you."

Leon could smell the massive, shit eating grin on Olivia's face.

"Secondly… well… to be honest there's a lot of hype surrounding you at the moment. At this point most of the monks don't even believe you'll really die."

This made the wolfdog raise his head. "Really?"

"There is some debate on exactly why," explained the Prioress. "Some believe that you will simply come back to life after a brief nap, others believe that your spirit will literally ascend to become a god. Now, obviously, because we're still technically followers of the Saint this is considered deeply blasphemous. I would really appreciate it if you could spread around that the former is more likely while you're here."

Leon cocked his head cutely. One of the Aspirants stopped to pet him as she walked past, which he allowed. "Now that you mention it, Pietru blew out most of my internal organs while we were fighting earlier. They grew back pretty quickly; shot in the dark, maybe I could grow my heart back. After all, if I lose it then I would be clinically dead until I grow a new one."

"Seriously?" the Chamberlain blurted. "I mean, I knew you were durable but still! Goddamn!"

"Finally, I should inform you that we now have a large amount of merchandise in circulation." Even in the form of a dog, the look of disbelief on Leon's face was undeniable. Pietru began to laugh helplessly in the background. "Obviously we can't pay you royalties because there are no profits: in fact our Monastery has no currency at all. We can, however, offer you a complementary Huan plushie."

He pulled an adorable black dog plushie from his robe, causing Leon to realise that the little girl's dog onesie was also based on him. Olivia squealed in delight, instantly falling in love with it. "It's adorable!" she gushed. "Can I really have this?"

"Of course!" Laurent gave her the plush, which she immediately began to cuddle. "I recommend sleeping with it. The Novices swear they chase the nightmares away."

"I will!"

"Well, this certainly took a turn," remarked Leon. Pietru continued to roll around his feet, laughing hysterically.

"We have a lot more merch in the back if you're interested."

"Am I!"

Olivia and the monks wandered off, leaving the wolfdog to stare disbelievingly at the mural. He was starting to find he recognised the odd creatures that he and the Dragon Reaper were fighting.

"I know what those are," he muttered. "Those were in that movie, the one with Vin Diesel in it. Wait, weren't those things from last night from one of the sequels?"

Pietru had finally pulled herself together. "What was that? Do you know what those are?"

Leon wasn't listening. "But I don't remember… So then was the Warmother something original? Or is it from something I forgot or didn't see?"

The White Dragon looked back and forth between him and the mural. "What am I missing here?"

This finally made him snap out of it. "I… My whole deal back when I was a human was that I was the Knower of Secrets. That I knew things others didn't. It turns out that some of the things I thought wouldn't be relevant still exist, just within a different context."

She cocked her head, mulling over the concept. "Did you know any secrets about me?"

Leon was surprised no one had thought to ask him that earlier. "Well, you're an Elder Dragon. The difference in context I mentioned is that Elder Dragons didn't originally refer to dragons at all: rather, it meant something that defies the classification norms of ordinary creatures. Something closer to a cataclysm or a phenomenon."

"So there are other kinds of Elder Dragon?" Pietru asked curiously. "Are there any that might beat you in a fight?"

That was an interesting question. Leon considered what he had been able to learn of his abilities so far. "Possibly," he mused. "My only consistent weakness seems to be poison or venom or whatever, so… a Magala? They inflict a super infectious disease called Frenzy that drives you crazy and makes you kill everything you see: the juveniles produce it constantly but the adults only do it to reproduce, since their strain has a chance of impregnating you with an embryo that rips its way out of your chest once it's mature."

"Holy crap!"

"I think I'd probably survive the birth honestly," admitted Leon. "And as for the Frenzy, there's a chance of overcoming the mind altering effects: if you do that you get enhanced abilities and glowing red eyes. It's called being an Apex. I feel like that would happen to me."

Pietru made a mental note to flee the other way if she ever saw Leon with glowing red eyes. "Anything else?"

"There's the Qurio. They're like these little… fucking… leeches? Kinda? But I think if I just shrink myself then all the Qurio in my body would be crushed, and the bodies would be pushed out as my wounds healed." He racked his brain for other Monster Hunter bosses. It had been a very long time since he last played these games. "Jiivas can drain lifeforce, but I think I can take them. The adults might be more of a threat, but I'd need one in front of me for a definite answer."

"But what's the strongest Elder Dragon?" Pietru pushed. "Surely one has to stand out."

Unfortunately, she was right. "There's one, actually," said Leon grudgingly. "It's so deadly that other Elder Dragons flee its presence. Kingdoms and ecosystems alike evacuate when it's near. It has an absolute, all consuming hate for all living things: that's why its surroundings are always devoid of life. Because it kills everything that breathes."

"Okay…" said Pietru slowly. "G-Getting a little ominous here."

"They say that there has only ever been one of its species because it keeps coming back from the dead," he continued. "They say that equipment made from its remains will regenerate into a new specimen, and that the wielder is never seen again. They say that natural disasters all over the world increase in frequency and intensity as its awakening draws near. They say it brings with it the Black Blight, which is… it's like if evil were a disease. It infects animals, plants, even rocks and soil. It even infects other Elder Dragons and turns them into murderous killing machines."

Pietru's tail shrank between her legs. "Does… Does it have a name?"

"For a while, it didn't. But then it was linked with Schrade, a kingdom which was just randomly wiped out one day. No survivors. No witnesses. No clue what the hell happened. They made a word for it: Fatalis, a word invented to describe the impossible horror. The event. The entity. The unknown something that killed erased a civilisation from the map in a single night. Then the dragon went out into the world, and they knew what it was they had named. The Living End of the World."

"Fatalis," whispered Pietru, shivering as an odd chill went between her wings.

"Hi doggie!" The dragon and the wolfdog almost jumped out of their skins as the random child greeted them. "O-Oh, sorry," he mumbled. "I didn't mean to scare you."

"It's fine," sighed Leon. "We were just talking about something, and… and you're too young to have started your studies, so you can't possibly understand me. Fabulous."

The child giggled, presumably at his mouthy Husky noises. "You look just like Huan! Like him!" He pointed excitedly at the mural. Leon looked obediently.

"There's a reason for that."

The Aspirant had noticed Pietru, who preened smugly as his eyes sparkled. "Versa Pietru! Just like… in the…" He looked back and forth between them and the mural, his childish brain slowly connecting the dots. "Lord Huan?"

"That's me." He cringed as the boy screamed in delight.

"This is amazing!" he gushed. "Just wait until my brother…" He looked over his shoulder, and only then realised that no one was there. "Bro?" He began to tear up, reminding Leon so much of Colin that it hurt. "Where… Where did…"

"Easy now," said Leon, nuzzling his face gently. "Big boys don't cry." He gave the Aspirant a quick sniff; it seemed that he and his brother had only just gotten separated, so it stood to reason that the scent of the most recent person he interacted with would lead them straight to him. "C'mon. This way."

He gestured with his snout for the kid to follow him; eventually he got the hint, grabbing a handful of his fur and toddling beside him as Pietru fluttered onto his back.

His brother wasn't far, casually chatting with some friends on the terrace beside the gigantic brazier. The Aspirant ran up to his brother and threw his arms around his waist, taking him by surprise. "Woah there," he exclaimed. "You okay, little bro?"

Leon sat back on his haunches as the other monks pointed and whispered, forcing the little dragon to cling to his fur with her claws. "I don't suppose you have enough knowhow to understand me?"

The monk almost fell over from surprise, which he interpreted as a yes. "Lord Huan! You're real! You're here!"

"Is this an either/or sort of question?"

"Yes! No! I mean…" His ears burned red as his friends laughed at him. "W-What brings you here?"

"To the Monastery?" Leon clarified. "I'm looking for a book. Here specifically? Just helping your little brother track you down."

"Thank you!" He seemed to realise that he was talking too loudly. "That's, uh, very kind."

Leon made the closest expression he could to a frown, leaning forward and sniffing him to be sure. "I'm sorry, but why do I smell fish on you? As in saltwater fish?"

The young man looked slightly embarrassed. "Sorry. I, uh, suppose it's true what they say: nothing escapes the eyes and nose of Huan!" His voice became slightly shrill towards the end of the sentence; he coughed awkwardly as his friends chuckled. "You're probably smelling the spectre that's been haunting me recently. You're not supposed to smell them, but, well, it is you."

Pietru stuck her head between Leon's ears. "So you're being haunted by a fish?"

"An octopus."

"Ah," nodded Leon sagely. "Bite it between the eyes."

The monk didn't immediately comprehend. "I beg your pardon?"

"Bite it between the eyes," he said again. "Octopi have a really vulnerable weak spot between their eyes; penetrate it and you're penetrating their brain. Instant kill." He realised, then, how they were looking at him. "I mean, I'd bite them, but I'm sure a thumb-having entrepreneur like yourself can come up with an alternative."

Even though he didn't really know what he was talking about, Leon's method would prove to be brutally effective; so effective, in fact, that the spectres of the kind that were torturing the young man would be considered a complete non-threat within weeks. It would be just another legend in his wake.

Leon pricked up his ears as the three love interests approached, tickling Pietru's nose and making her sneeze. "That would be my henchbuddies. I'll see you fellas around." The monks burst into giddy fanboying as soon as his back was turned. "I could get used to this."

Pietru scoffed.

The three dunderheads were accompanied by two attractive female monks, wearing the baggy green robes of the Order: one had a sweet face with green eyes and straight auburn hair held back by a chain circlet, while the other had a strikingly beautiful face with hair and eyes like glittering mercury.

"Huan!" Julius grinned. "We couldn't find Brother Eamon, but these two ladies are his secretaries!"

"They're not whoring themselves, are they?" Pietru asked suspiciously. "Because it sounds like these three plan on whoring themselves."

The female monks looked scandalised, confirming that they understood them.

"They said they'll introduce us," explained Jilk. "But only if we do them a favour."

"I still think it's unnecessary," said Chris coldly, pushing his glasses up his nose. "It feels a bit too out of the way. Ever since I joined you've been saying you were on a time limit; we shouldn't overreach."

"Not necessarily," said Leon. "Would you two happen to be Miala of the Iomani and Qelah of the Muthavi?" Their expressions confirmed that they were. "Perfect. I know what you want and I accept."

The redhead - Sister Miala - lit up with a radiant smile. "Really?"

"Hold on!" Julius held up his hand. "Now, I'm guessing from your faces that he agreed. Since he didn't wait for you to explain, that probably means he already knew what you wanted. It's a Knower of Secrets thing, right?"

Leon nodded. "Knower of Secrets?" Chris wondered aloud. Jilk shushed him.

"I'll tell you later."

"That's all well and good. But I'd like a little more information, if that's alright with you."

"Right, yes, of course," blushed Miala. She placed her hand on her chest. "I am one of the Iomani, a skyfaring people from far to the east."

"Hold it!" Jilk interjected. "The Iomani Empire is a myth; it's a legend dreamt up by sailors, drunk and lost at sky."

Miala covered her mouth and laughed; Leon could tell she had heard all this before. "Trust me, we exist. In the palace of Aaduk, my family served the Blind Prince."

Julius looked like a little kid being told a bedtime story. Leon rolled his eyes, causing Sister Qelah to smother a laugh.

"When I was but five years old a cousin of the Prince usurped the throne, and poor Aaduk and his loyal retainers fled the city. We set sail for Sirune, the city of Aaduk's young wife. Three days from port, pirates boarded our vessel and killed all on board; only the children were spared. The slavers of Drehva would pay a handsome price for us, they said."

None of these places appeared ingame.

"As we sailed to Drehva, a terrible storm blew in from the south and tossed the ship for seven days and nights. When the storm cleared, we found ourselves near a land unknown to the Iomani."

"Holfort," nodded Chris.

"The pirates thanked whatever god they believed in for sparing their lives, and they offered my body as sacrifice. They released me into the woods at the edge of the continent and sailed away as I watched."

"And you lived?" Jilk asked, half disbelieving and half impressed. Sister Miala just shrugged, clearly knowing as much as they did.

"When I awoke I was here, though I have no idea how. The monks embraced me as one of their own, and my training here began. To this day, I am torn between the memory of my past and my debts to the Seekers of the Last Unknown. I do not know the fate of the other children on that ship, or my brother who was among them. If on your journey you cross his path, tell him where he can find me. I would be in your debt."

The three numpties looked positively spellbound. "I can't tell you for sure where he is," said Leon, because canonically Olivia wouldn't complete this sidequest for a few years yet. "But I can definitely find him."

Miala bowed with a beauteous smile. "I understand that none can escape the eyes nor ears nor nose of the mighty Huan. I shall trust in your legend."

"And you?" Chris asked; he sounded a bit too eager, evidently having enjoyed the story. "What was your request?"

Sister Qelah inclined her head. "Let me introduce myself; I am Qelah of the Muthavi. Muthavi lies far away in the western sky, on an island in the Galadian Archipelago. Our ships sailed to the furthest edges of the world, and they returned with wondrous gifts: rich tapestries, birds of a thousand colours, animals with shimmering pelts."

"But you lost your home too," nodded Julius. Her face pinched, but she didn't cry. "What brought you here?"

"When I was a child, our family suffered terrible misfortune. Seven of our fleet sank to the bottom of the sea. The oracle said that to appease the gods, a daughter of Muthavi must become a Seeker of the east. I was chosen, and because the only Seekers I could find were the Seekers of the Last Unknown, that is what I became."

"You want to return home," acknowledged Jilk. "To Muthavi."

"If on your travels you meet a Muthavi trader, tell him the daughter of Tirasa waits here. They may not be willing to brave the Blood Barrier, but any chance is better than none."

"I'll do what I can," nodded Leon. He memorised their scents, just to be sure. "But for now we need to see Brother Eamon. Is that okay?"

They gave him matching smiles. "Of course we-"

"Hi guys!" It was at this point that Olivia arrived, still cuddling the Huan plushie with one arm. She was wearing a necklace alongside her snail shell amulet with a tiny black dog head on it, and was carrying a large bag full of merch. "Check THIS out!"

She pulled a massively baggy white shirt out of the bag: it had a badass black dog on it, and had the words 'Fangs for the memories' printed on it.

"I'm going to sleep in this!"

"Is that Huan merchandise?" asked the Prince faintly. "Did I miss something? W-W-W-Was there like… like a development or something that we missed?"

"Yep," said Leon. "Big time." He winked cheekily at Miala and Qelah, causing them to giggle shyly.

"I also have a few spare plushies in case anybody wants one."

"I'll take one!" She tossed one to Pietru, who lunged at the toy and grabbed it out of the air; she began biting it furiously, rolling around on the floor and kicking it mercilessly.

"Jeez, Pietru, tell me how you really feel."

"This isn't on purpose! Instinct is taking over!"

The two women led them to Eamon's office, which overlooked the small courtyard where they first entered the Monastery. He wore robes of the same shade of green as Miala and Qelah, along with a tiny ridiculous hat. He looked like… well, like a maths teacher. You know what I mean.

He was muttering to himself as they entered. "That imp should be at her lessons," he was saying. "How will she learn to read the ancient script if doesn't go to her lessons!" He suddenly screamed, having finally realised they were there. Leon's ears flattened against his head, while Pietru snarled with alarm. "How long were you listening?"

"We… uh… We were told by Abbot Laurent that you could help us," said Julius. "We need a book from the Minor Library."

"The Compleat Encyclopaedia of Heresies, Heterodoxies and Apostasies," supplied Olivia. "Volume 67."

"I'm sorry, but I'm temping for the truancy officers right now," Eamon smiled tiredly. "If you could please wait until I've finished, then I'll authorise the withdrawal."

Olivia smiled warmly. She had learned of how quickly Leon chose to help Miala and Qelah, and decided to follow his example. "Is there anything we can do to help?"

Leon's eyes widened as he remembered Eamon's associated sidequest. "Olivia, no!"

The poor man seemed pathetically grateful for the offer. "Yes please!" Eamon actually sobbed a bit. Leon hesitated and wondered if he should let this play out. "I have no idea how to talk to teenagers! They scare and confuse me!"

Olivia's smile wavered. "But… But I'm a…"

"I'm looking for a truant by the name of Sama," Brother Eamon rushed out. "Her peers say she has behaved strangely as of late, keeping secrets from the other Novices. And now she's missing her lessons!"

"I think I understand why he's panicking," remarked the Elder Dragon. "Imagine if she fails; what exactly are they supposed to do? Kick her out? Into the Orklands?"

"He wants us to be truancy cops, Pietru!"

"It's looking after children," she scoffed. "You do it all the time."

Leon blinked and glanced at the four bipeds. "Oh yeah."

"Perhaps we can be of service," offered Julius.

The monk's dour face brightened. "Yes, perhaps you can. If you cross the path of this wayward Novice, please inform me at once. It will free up my schedule, and I can grab that book you want. Win win."

Leon grumbled to himself as he stalked out of the office, the others hurrying to follow. "Huan?" Olivia called nervously. "I couldn't help but notice that you tried to stop me just now. Is there something about this girl we should know?"

"Nah, Sama's pretty harmless."

"Oh, good! Then-"

"It's her boyfriend we need to look out for."

Quest: Iona Monastery

Summary: Canaria Monastery is based on Iona Monastery from Summoner, which you may remember as being the theocracy that Elodach tries to start a holy war against in his sidequest.

Curiously, all the sidequests involved with Iona come in twos. Before you even arrive there is Elodach the Initiate and The Encyclopaedia of Heresies, both of which require you to steal something from the Monastery. Then there is Miala of the Iomani and Quelah of the Muthavi, both of which require you to hunt down someone in Lenele before making a return trip.

Novice Sama and Wid the Terrified are both the only Iona sidequests that can be completed without ever leaving, while Tathal the Wanderer and The Tome of Gahnis both involve delivering something much, much later in the game.

I just thought that was weird.