There were many cons to being a teenager in Gwen's opinion. In that middle ground of growing up, where you're too old to enjoy many pleasures you had in your youth, yet at the same time too young to be fully treated as an adult. You dealt with the agony of acne and sudden growth spurts while your entire body was flooded with hormones you never wanted to be in you in the first place.

The worst part about it was when your entire world seemed geared towards exploiting every single one of those problems. It wasn't made any better when it was all anyone was willing to talk about at school.

"So now me and Glory are heading to the dance." Harry finished his tale with a smile. "Hopefully I make a good impression." Yes … the school dance. Because of course her friends were actually interested for once.

"We've only been in school for two months at most, isn't it a little early to have a school dance?" Thankfully her gal pal April happened to only be semi-interested in the event at all. "I always thought those were more of an end of the year thing, end of the semester at the very least."

"I think it's a fundraising issue, you know, since schools are underpaid practically everywhere you go." Peter explained with a shrug.

"Yes, because instead of having well placed investments, the school has to drain the student's wallets with ticket fees." Irma responded with her usual cynical commentary.

"Honestly, we should have just done a bake sale or something. Free sweets and money for the school." Gwen said. "I mean, most of us don't have dates anyway." Hopefully leading to a night of sitting on a couch with junk food and ripping on bad movies where they didn't have to acknowledge dating at all.

"Well, like Harry, I managed to find a woman." Peter grinned. Wait … WHAT!? They all turned to the boy with wide eyes.

"Oh yeah? You finally asked Liz out?" April asked. Don't let that be so, don't let that be so…!

"No, I asked out Ms. Brant at the Bugle." … Ms?

"Ms Brant?" Harry questioned. "Doesn't that imply that she's older than you, and thus, out of your league?"

"Never underestimate the power of determination." Peter smiled. "And the motivation of self preservation. Aunt May kept trying to set me up with a girl called Mary Jane Watson, who as she described, has a 'wonderful personality'." The two boys began shivering.

"What the heck is wrong with that?" April asked with a bit of heat. "Are you implying that we don't have great personalities?"

"No, it's old timey people talk." Gwen explained with a bit of an eyeroll. "Usually when people explain how someone on a blind date, usually when it involves a girl, has a 'wonderful personality', it usually means the person in question is ugly." Judgmental as hell, but Gwen would be lying if she wouldn't be running for the hills if someone tried to hook her up with a 'wonderful personality'.

"I could see it." Irma nodded. "So, two of the five outcasts managed to score dates. The irony the universe gives us."

"Oh don't be like that, if it can happen to us, it can happen to you." Harry waved off. "I'm sure you can get someone…whoever…or whatever you're into."

"My first choice would be April." Irma rolled her eyes. "Gwen's becoming a close second though."

"As … flattering as that is, that kind of scene isn't exactly at the front of my mind at the moment." April answered more confidently than Gwen ever could if she was put on the spot like that. "At most I'll just raid the snack table.

A hand made its way onto their table. "So, you'll be joining the scene then?" Spoke an annoyingly familiar voice. "I'll make sure to keep an eye out for you red."

"For someone that's constantly trying to live up to the highschool cliche and push us to the bottom of the social totem pole, you seem really on sticking your fat head where it isn't wanted." Peter griped as they all rolled their eyes at another Flash bully sighting.

"Oh, Puny Parker has some words to say? Lay em on me, I'll see how well they stick when I'm the one not going alone." The jock snorted.

"FYI, which is abbreviated from 'for your information' because I know your getting D's in English and probably don't know that, but I do have a date." Had Peter always been this blunt with Flash? She had to admit … it was nice seeing him have a bit of backbone, even if it was just going to get him hurt.

"Oh really?" The bully looked skeptical.

"Yes, and with an older woman no less." The boy smirked.

"Then why don't you put your money where your mouth is." Flash grinned.

"... I have like, ten bucks to spend freely, a lot of my money goes into maintaining equipment." Peter answered honestly.

"Oh no money, trust me." Flash looked at his phone. "Halloween is one month away. If you can't bring a date, you'll dress up as a baby. And I get to take photos."

"Ah, I see, that's the kind of game we're playing." Peter laughed. "Fine, but if I do bring a date, you have to wear the school cheerleader uniform and dance all Halloween night.

"... Is it weird that I'm kinda interested in seeing him wear that?" Irma asked the group.

"I'm afraid to know what you're referring to and I don't want to find out." Gwen grumbled, hitting her head on the table.

"You're on, Parker." Flash smirked, walking away.

Peter's phone dinged. "And that would be her now." Peter pulled out his phone, looking at the image as his smirk slowly shrunk along with his pupils. "And she's … she's … having coffee with Aunt May."

The group was silent for a bit. "How old did you say she was?" April asked.

"...See you guys later!" Peter rushed off, presumably going to the Bugle to avoid his diaper wearing fate.

"So I take it you'll be joining me tonight in singleton?" April turned to her.

"I..I don't know…" Gwen groaned. She'd really rather not go alone….she'd rather go with Peter as his date. Not only would that solve her dilemma, it would save him from his rather poor choice in bets.

"You could always bring that Eddie guy." Harry suggested. "Would be a nice way to get together. Also even out the boy girl ratio a bit."

"I guess…I'll think about it." Eddie was always nice and sweet to her, it wouldn't be so bad. Besides, it's not like it was going to be a serious date…right?

Hammerhead stared at the giant dog man. "So … when did you manage to turn him into a 'super villain'?" He needed a better phrase than something as corny as that.

"Believe me, this was by pure accident." Bradford groaned, and the deeper voice just made it all the more apparent how much the foot goon sounded like O'Hern, who was rather ironically today's guinea pig. "I actually was the lucky one of the two. The other guy lost his lungs and his legs. Those damn turtles doused us in some vile ooze, making me into a freak like them."

"I should look into that." Norman muttered, looking over the mutant with an analytical gaze.

"While … disturbing, the multiple animals running amok has led me into researching the animal kingdom as of late." The doctor stated, once more messing with controls. "Today's inspiration was the rhino, a creature capable of charging forward and demolishing any problem with ease."

"Yeah, yeah, natures all incredible or whatever. Is this going to make me capable of squashing the bug?" O'Hern grumbled from the other side of the glass. Unlike Marko, this mook was all about the revenge angle, so getting him properly motivated was child's play.

The doctor continued messing with controls. "The armor we're going to be infusing you with is a synthetic vibranium alloy Oscorp has been working on. It's not as durable, but unless you plan on charging at a rail cannon you won't feel a thing."

"... In english?"

"It means nothing is capable of hurting you or stopping you." Hammerhead summed it as simply as it could.

"Yes, but I should point out that once the process begins, if it works, you'll never be capable of taking the armor off, it'll forever be a part of you." The squirmy doctor was way too soft to be involved with deals like this. If the man didn't have the smarts, he'd silence the octopus permanently.

"But I can beat up the Spider-Man, right?"

"Yep." Hammerhead nodded.

"Then suit me up, I'll knock him down a peg!" A very simple man, one that made perfect canon fodder to noesy wannabe do-gooders

"Very well … three, two, one …" They pulled a lever, gray goo moving through tubes and piling itself within the glass case, slowly enveloping the man as they slowly shifted in pain, groaning.

"So first it was a man made of sand, now it's a man wearing steel." Bradford muttered. "You've got a lot of variety at your fingertips, Osborn."

"A man has to learn to be creative in the field of science if he wishes to get far." Osborn nodded with a small smirk of satisfaction on his face as he watched the show. "No matter how unorthodox the approach must be…or how many scientists he needs to go through." A ruthless bastard.

"Alright, now it just needs a few seconds to solidify." The doctor stated, clearly shaken by what his boss was implying.

"GAAAAHHHH!" O'hern shouted, looking like he was struggling as the armor slowly began to form.

"Why am I getting the weirdest sense of Dejavu watching this?" Bradford muttered as the shape began to emerge from the lab. O'Hern was now standing 9 feet tall, towering in a dark gray metallic hide with a large black horn resting on his forehead, the 'mouth' of the arming being the only notable hole in the entire thing, showing off the mook's face.

"Wow … I still feel light as a feather." The man laughed. "This is incredible!"

"So does the funky looking armor actually work?" Bradford asked, reasonably skeptical of the ridiculous look.

"One way to find out." Norman pressed a button … as multiple turrets came out of the wall. "Fire."

The bullets were unloaded relentlessly all over O'Hern's body, as they all bounced off the big oaf's hide like they were made out of rubber. "Heheh, tickles."

"I believe this is more than satisfactory to Mr. Lincoln's demands?" Osborn asked with a smug smirk.

"First off, don't ever use the L word. Call him the big man." The last thing the boss needed was for his name to be used visually all over town. "And second, yeah, it'll work." Hammerhead grinned as he moved to the mike. "Yo O'Hern, ready to cause a scene?"

"No need Mr Hammerhead, I got myself a lead while I was sitting around and twiddling my thumbs." Many would call this man a moron, and those people would be half wrong. O'Hern began stomping to an exit, before pausing, turning back to the glass. "Hey Doc, I need to ask … how do I … 'go' with this thing on?"

There was an awkward silence that quickly filled the room. "Well, I did try to warn you.." The scientist said with a tremble.

"What is this, preschool? Enough potty talk." Hammerhead decided to do everyone a favor and derail the conversation before it got uncomfortable. "The more time you spend yapping in here, the less likely there'll be a red and blue stain on the streets

"Fine fine." The man grumbled as he walked out of the room. "I'll just figure it out myself." They pushed open the door … with the wall collapsing behind it.

"Alright, I take it back, these guys really can back up the bark." Bradford said with surprise. "When can the Foot expect one for us?"

"I was hoping to wait a while after this one. Too many large public displays in succession could draw unwanted eyes in our direction." Osborn explained. The man really thought he could get away with being in the middle for this long, getting paid to both create and contain the freaks.

"You'll make as many as required, Osborn, that was the deal." Hammerhead reminded the rich man. "Or someone might just let it slip exactly who's responsible for the latest line of circus acts across the city."

There was a growl from Bradford's direction. "The Shredder has a deal too. And he's getting at least one of the cuts from this factory." They raised a claw in his direction. It seemed this dog needed a reminder about the hierarchy around here.

"Gentlemen, by all means, feel free to fight among yourselves, but do so away from the equipment." Osborn rolled his eyes. "And the brawl is pointless, you don't have proof to begin with."

"If that's what helps you sleep at night." Hammerhead shrugged, knowing fully well the Big Man had a counter up his sleeve for that exact situation. "Keep your eyes on the news, let's see if my boy can actually get the job done." And crush the Spider for a change.

May Parker hummed as she waited in the elevator. Now she knew there was a small line when it came to meddling with your nephew's life … but if it would help Peter in the long run, it would be worth it. She didn't want the boy going to the dance with a woman who would make him seem childish by comparison.

She wasn't so old fashioned to say the age difference was what bothered her…okay it did just a little bit and her nephew should probably wait until college at least to start asking out women in their twenties. May admired this newfound confidence Peter had in him, but perhaps he was taking it just a tad too far.

The door opened, and May walked forward into the bustling office. "Robbie! What's the latest story on the Stark Expo!?" A man shouted out with a volume not fit for any indoor scenario.

"They're showing off a new concept for a macro weapon sir." A tall black man responded with a sigh. "You'd think some people would learn to just stop making weapons."

"Give a man eight million dollars and he chooses to parade around his oversized toys." The loud man grumbled as he took a sip of coffee. "Give me a story that'll ruin the manchild! Foswell, where are we with the Hulk sightings?!" Wasn't that the urban myth of a giant green man that popped up a few years ago?

"Still as elusive and unreliable as sightings of BigFoot." A man with curly brown hair and a mustache responded. "He's either in the southern parts of Africa, the North Pole, or New Jersey."

"Hulk, a modern day boogeyman created to scare children before halloween. Leeds! What's the damage with the Baxter Foundation?! My son's about to take off on his next flight, and I don't want any freaky space operations threatening his life!

"I interviewed Dr. Richards, there was a slight accident involving some sort of cosmic storm in their launch, but the area the shuttle is heading to should have a clear path for takeoff." An Asian man answered.

"Glad to hear." The man gave a genuine smile only a father could give, before turning to her with a curious look. "I think you got the wrong office mam. Insurance is three flights down."

"Oh, I'm actually here to meet a woman." May responded. "Her name is Betty Brant?"

"You came to the right place." The man nodded before turning behind him. "Ms. Brant! There's someone here to see you! Treat the lady to a fresh cup of coffee!"

The woman nodded as May approached. "So are you actually okay with coffee? He just offers it to everyone." The woman asked with a soft chuckle.

"I am, I'm hardly one to turn down such generosity." May answered with a bit of a chuckle. "When Peter told me how lively his job was, he certainly wasn't kidding."

"Ah, so you are the Aunt May he talks about so much." Ms. Brant smiled. "He thinks very highly of you." If only that translated to him arriving more than two minutes before curfew.

"I actually came to talk about him." She took a sip of coffee. "He said that he was taking a 'Ms Brant' to the highschool dance, and I felt the need to meet her …" May sent a small smile. "You know he's too young, right?"

"I know. He's a sweet kid, but a little too persistent in this case. I gave him a maybe and he was practically jumping in the air over it." The secretary sent her a knowing nodd.

"Ah, I see." May sighed. "That boy, so smart but he can't even see what's in front of him sometimes."

"Isn't that how we all are during that age?" Ms Brant chuckled.

"Yes, but if he's going into photography I figured he'd at least be a little more on point." May joined in.

"It's a skill that comes with the job the more experience he gets. I originally came into this job because my Mom used to be the secretary for the Bugle." The woman smiled fondly. "I never appreciated the hard work that went into paper filing until my first day."

"Hard work goes a long way." The aunt smiled. "Don't be afraid to let him down, I have a girl that would love to-"

Thud

"Hey!" The two women turned to what appeared to be a man in a giant rhino costume, cracking and crumbling the room with every thunderous step he took. "Who's the wise guy in charge!?"

"Down, now." Betty whispered as she pulled May under the table. The two of them could make out the situation from a small opening underneath.

"Who do you think you are, charging right up in here like it's no big deal!?" The aggressive man from earlier shouted. "Time is money you kno-" He was cut off, lifted by his collar.

"Where is Peter Parker?" Why did this man know her nephew's name?! "He takes pictures of Spider-Man, right?"

"P-pa-Parker?" The loud man asked confused as he looked to the back where..oh dear, her nephew was in one of the back rooms. He'd surely be hurt or worse if this horrible man found out., "..I-I never met the guy." The loud man said calmly as he gave hand gestures, signaling her nephew to get away. "He always sends the photos through email, real joe anonymous."

"He's a good man." May muttered silently. Her nephew worked for a good company.

"Well then, if he's as big of a glory hound as you say he is, then he's gotta show if I throw you out of the window, right?" The vile man gave a grin, slowly crossing the room.

"As satisfying as that would be to see, flat fried pickle puss isn't on today's menu, tall grey and stupid." Another voice came in, one she was only fifty percent sure sounded familiar, came in as the loud man was taken out of the rhino person's grip by some sort of white line. "But I am serving up knuckle sandwiches, Spidey-style."

"Spider-Man!? What are you doing in my office, you wall crawling menace?!" The loud man shouted as he was pulled away.

"Well, for starters, wall crawling." The 'Spider-Man' responded, covering the man in webs and sticking him to the ceiling. "And second, figuring out what the man on steroids wants with Peter Parker."

"You, just you." The giant punched his palm menacingly, a metallic thud ringing out from within the grasp.

"Oh my, most of my enemies are never so intimate … wait, O'Hern?" The white eyes opened in confusion.

"Not anymore! Call me Rhino!" The larger man yelled as he tossed the masked man into a desk, smashing it to pieces.

"Okay, okay, I see you learned how to throw a punch." The man groaned as he got up. "But did you actually learn the meaning of a life free of crime?"

"I dunno, punching you is the most catharsis I've gotten in ten years!" The 'Rhino' shouted as they charged across the room.

"It's obvious you didn't brush up on simple physics either. After all, an object in motion stays in motion unless interrupted by an opposing force..." The man leapt out of the way, making the rhino person charge into the wall, where it crashed on through, and kept on going, and going, creating a hole to the outside. "Ten feet of concrete and he smashes through it like paper." They moved to the edge, shooting multiple webs. "Please don't go splat, please don't go splat …"

Thud

The entire building shook. "... Well he's okay … on the downside, I'm probably going to learn how Raph felt during fear week." They groaned, jumping down. Why did she feel so worried for the masked man?

"WILL SOMEONE GET ME DOWN FROM HERE!"

Okay Spidey, assess the situation. There's some sort of Big man out to get you and he's creating villains out of the wazoo to smash you to pieces by using d-list thugs like O'Hern and Marko. You're way out of your weight class, and the longer this bozo was out in the open, the more civilians were in danger.

Luckily, he had a plan B just for any villain scenario, courtesy of April. He pressed the small button on the side of his mask, letting a call go straight to the lair. Thank you earphones and speed dial. "What's up?" Said teenage girl answered.

"Hey guys, remember how the 'Big Man' made Flinty into a superpowered criminal calling himself Sandman?" He asked, trying to lead the Rhino to a less populated area with a few web shots in the face.

"Yeah, I was helping you disinfect your wounds and picking sand out of you for a whole hour."

"Well if you turn on the news, you might see that Alex got the same treatment." {Impact} He avoided the semi truck thrown at him, a man screaming from the driver's seat. "Calls himself Rhino now, and he can shrug off a ten story drop." He broke the door off, grabbing the man and swinging him to safety. "Please stay off the road, too many maniacs in New York these days."

"Not so easy fighting someone stronger than you now, is it web creep!?" The moron shouted out as he was tailing right behind him.

"I've fought Electro, you're just a less flashy problem, O'Hern!" He paused. "O'Hern, O Horn, did your mom plan this from birth!?" {Projectile} He moved his head to avoid the street sign that would have impaled his skull.

"YOU LEAVE MY MOTHER OUT OF THIS!" The rhino man roared, smashing his way through many more cars and trucks.

"Geez, didn't peg you for such a mama's boy." Spidey grumbled as he turned back to the conversation. "So yeah, I'm going to need a little help taking this walking bulldozer down beige I get turned into a Spider pancake!"

"Watching the news, it's too broad daylight. We'll get spotted for sure." Leo answered. "Why don't you try doing what we did for Stockman and fight the man inside the armor?" That may have been the first time he got the name right before.

"The man inside the armor is a bumbling man child that is too single minded to focus on anything other than what's in front of him." Spidey noted as he looked back at O'Hern, who stomped on a fire hydrant and doused himself in water, looking like he was enjoying it a little too much. "..I have a plan now. Track my signal and I'll lead the hippo boy underground."

"Donnie, pull up a map."

"On it."

Now to play a game of cat and mouse … or more accurately, Spider and Rhino. He began shooting a few webs at the hydrant, closing it off. "Water breaks over, come on and play for round two, Rhino."

"Wait, did he call himself Rhino!?" He ignored Mikey. "Come on, I thought we were done with lame names after I got to Dog Pound!"

"Can't expect much from the guy that's a mockery to the animal kingdom!" Spidey quipped as he began leading O'Hern through as many narrow spaces as possible. "Come on dude, I know turtles that are faster than you! Just because you bulk up doesn't mean you can skip leg day!"

"How about horn day!" That didn't even make any-They threw another car, one that would hit civilians. He webbed the two of them, placing them in a small cocoon.

"Thank me late-" Rhino used the distraction to hit him … great, just like with Shredder. He either needed to react faster or multitask while in mid air.

"Hah! Rhino beats Spider!" O'Hern cheered as he raised his foot, clearly about to stomp his head.

"True, but paper always beats rock, or in this case, web beats moron!" Spidey shoot a web splat right on Rhino's face, giving him enough time to roll away. "Not a good idea leaving the most punchable part of your body exposed."

"Note to self, start covering my face." The man groaned, ripping it off as he glared. "But hey, it has the advantage of seeing you in pain." Rhino charged once more, this time a cafe behind the hero. Why was everywhere so populated in New York?

"I will say though, you really do pull off the horned look." Spidey instead of dodging this time, jumped forward with as much speed and power he could muster in his legs, grabbing the giant spike on the forehead, and pulling the charging man backwards just enough to stop the momentum, causing him to crash sideways. "It's basically a giant L forever attached to your head, looooser!"

Rhino grabbed his stomach, clutching tightly as they pulled their head back. "I dunno, the horn really gets the point across, if you know what I mean." {Impale}. He was NOT going to have a missing stomach on the same night as his dance!

He just had to find one single opening-aha! Sewer grate at twelve O'clock. "Sorry O'Hern, this is Spidey's fitness class, and you haven't had enough cardio today!" He webbed over the grate with his free hand and smacked it across the man's fleshy face, causing Rhino to let him go. "Let's make it up with a last minute game of follow the leader!" Peter jumped into the sewers, a place that had practically become a second home to him. Rhino absolutely had no chance being on his home turf.

Alex jumped down the hole, looking around at the dark tunnel. "If you think making it harder to move around is going to make this easier, then maybe I actually did land one of those shots to the head." He joked, moving forward and just bursting through the small gaps. Sure it was a little hot down here, but nothing was impossible for the strength of the Rhino!

"Oh you poor dumb animal, don't try to talk smart, you'll only hurt yourself trying." The web creep mocked him as he continued to run. "Big dumb O'Hern, now he comes in extra bigger and dumber."

"I ain't dumb!" He shouted, running forward after the bozo. "I ain't the one who trapped myself in here!"

"Ah yes, the narrow space." Spider-Man mocked. "A perfect place for alley thugs, animals, and sneak attacks." Sneak a what now?

Ching

…. He glanced at the sai that bounced off his new skin. "What took you so long, Web Head? Don't tell me that O'Hern of all people was giving you trouble?" That red turtle freak snorted.

"I know, I think all the teamwork has me soft." A few more webs were shot I the face. "Well, that or the fact this guy's impenetrable."

"That's right." He grinned, hitting the turtle into a wall as steam rushed through the tunnel. "Nothing can get through skin now, punks!" His head ended up piercing a wall, where he was hit with a face full of steam.

"You're right, nothing can get through, from either the outside or inside." That purple turtle freak responded as he felt himself get hit in the head with that giant stick it carried, something that made him feel a bit dizzy. "You're covered head to toe in an unventilated metal suit that doesn't allow you to sweat anywhere except your face."

"It'd be fine under most circumstances, but in a steam tunnel like the one you're in now.." The Spider-freak hit him from the back, feeling himself getting pushed around by something weaker than him. "I'm betting your starting to see stars right about now."

Everything hit him at once. "I need to get out of here." He began charging back to the entrance.

"Oh no you don't!" The orange one jumped, yanking his neck with the chain. "This is for having a name as bad as Rhino!"

"Don't worry Mikey, we'll make sure you get to name the next rhino themed villain." The blue one jumped on top of him and forced Alex into the ground.

"Get off a me!" He slammed the blue one, trying to scramble up.

"Hey, how about a breath of fresh air!" The Spidey guy yanked open one of the tubes, blasting him with more heat. "Woopsie, maybe another one is the lucky choice."

Everything was starting to get blurrier and blurrier. His mouth was getting drier and he was feeling a headache coming on. "You'd think he'd be used to hot air, given it's the only thing filling that head of his." The purple blue mocked him as Alex's arms started to feel more and more heavy to lift.

"No, no! You can't beat me!" He tried to make his way to the ladder, only for the rest of the green freaks to start breaking more tubes. "Gaaaahhh!" Hot, so hot, everything was dizzy.

"Come on O'Hern, a little steam's good for the pores." Alex felt something snag him in the back and pull him down, and he felt too weak to get back up. "And here I thought turtles were the only animal you could beat by laying them on their backs."

"Again, if you're gonna quip at the villains, try not to bring turtles into it." The purple fuzzy grumbled.

"Now come on, let's move him to a better spot." Another voice said. "We don't need the cops looking through all parts of the sewers."

"No mama, five more minutes." He groaned. "Five more minutes." Why did mama always make him stop playing early?

"Feels good to see someone else lose it, helps me know I'm not the only one who suffers." The red fluffy bunny mumbled.

"Maybe we can use this … oh Alexander, this is Mama." His mommy spoke. "You've been a very bad boy lately."

"No mama, I'm a good boy, I can be a good boy, don't ground me please.." He didn't want to spend the weekend in the basement again, the rats kept hitting him in his sleep.

"Then can you tell me who the Big Man is?" Mama asked.

"No … no Mama, we don't use the B word.." Why did everyone always forget the simple rules? "We call him … Mr. Lincoln.."

"The president is a super villain?!" The orange pile of ice cream shrieked.

"Apparently even the nicest people are criminals when you look hard enough." The red bunny groaned.

"As much as I'd like to explain the concept of history right now, I don't think that's what old Alexander was talking about. Give me a sec." His mama began making beeping sounds on a chocolate bar in their pocket. It made a whirly noise as her eyes widened. "... Well when we find this Lincoln, I can give him the rage of a man who just got dumped."

"Like you were dating anybody to begin with." The red bunny laughed.

"Don't mock mama, mama's prettiest princess ever.." Alex defended. For some reason there was a groan and more laughter. Alex didn't understand it at all as the room went dark. Nighty night.

L. Thompson Lincoln was never one who considered himself a saint, aside from the moments where his public image required him to don the generous philanthropist and humanitarian. He started from the ghetto with practically nothing and inch by inch fought his way to the top, going through several bodies as a result.

There were many enemies he had to overcome, and he likes to think he's taken down most of them. Even the likes of Wilson Fisk, shoved into the likes of Hell's Kitchen for the time being. And with the mafia recovering, there was little standing in his way …

Except for a few organizations, such as the Foot and the Hand … along with a pesky little animal making its way through the town. In fact, he believed said animal was currently knocking his men unconscious, and with the help of a couple of turtles. Where did the good old days go, where the one thing a man had to fear was a broken soul with nothing to lose? "Excuse me, sir, I'd like to see a Mr. L. Thompson Lincoln." The masked man known as Spider-Man charged at his desk.

"I believe you're asking for the wrong persona." He deadpanned, finishing the signature of the latest 'charitable donation' as he stood up. "If you're here for what I think you are, then you can call me Tombstone."

"So you're not even denying you're the Big Man." The Blue turtle, the one the reports clarified as 'Leonardo' glared, pointing his katana right at him."

"I figure there's little point. You wouldn't be here if you genuinely believed otherwise." He began walking past them, right to his table. "Tell me, have you men ever played pool?"

"We found an air hockey machine smashed in half in the sewers once." The masked turtle in orange, Michelangelo, said with a grin that signaled just how little the group truly comprehend the situation."

"I'm quite fond of it … it teaches many things in life." Tombstone rushed forward at the purple one, Donnatello. "Precision." And hit them right in the neck. "Trajectory." He tripped Leonardo over, landing a blow to the side of the torso and sending them across the room. "Observation." He avoided the blow of the red one, Raphael, and delivered a swinging kick. "Power." He grabbed the nunchaku of Michelangelo, crushing it into dust as he punched them in the stomach. "And above all else …" He grabbed a web shot at him, yanking the Spider-Man closer. "Never lose focus of your goals." He finished with a kick to the ribs.

"You're tougher … then you look.." The masked fool groaned. "You're not normal, are you?"

"That's for me to know, and for you to never figure out." He didn't get this far by giving away secrets like some madman. "I assure you, whatever your thoughts on me are, that I don't hate superheroes. No crusade can ever deter the empire I have built over the years, but ever since the arrival of Spider-Man, people have been a bit … apprehensive of putting themselves out there." Tombstone moved back to his desk. "Who knows when he won't be looking … unless of course, you're busy with something else."

"So you didn't even expect them to kill me." The vigilante stood up, glaring under the mask. "You just wanted people to do crime while super powered wackjobs rampaged through the city."

"If it's any consolation, I made them before the Foot did." He could see the group tense. "I take it you've had a run in with the Shredder?"

"Yeah, and we'll make sure both your bozo's get knocked off your high horse and into the trash where you belong." Rapheal charged at him once more, only for Tombstone to grab the offending arm and throw him over his head.

"I could do the normal thing of beating you all senseless, but I am a man of commerce first." Tombstone began walking to a safe. "As I said before, I don't hate heroes, on the contrary, I believe that there's an opportunity for business that benefits all parties." He pulled out a briefcase, showing off a decent sum of cash. "My help in taking him down, legally I might add, along with all the money you need, and even a pr blast to help the public accept you." He could see the eyes of the turtles looking interested in his offer. "… And all I ask is that when I say it, look the other way here and there."

The moment he said those words, he could feel Spider-Man's glare practically light the entire room on fire. The masked man slowly approached his desk. "Aaaaaaaagh!" And rammed his fist through it, smashing it to pieces. "I. Will. Never look the other way. Never again."

Well that was a reaction. "... You know, I'm almost tempted to pay a lot just for the tale." Lincoln sat down, pressing a button. "That was the alarm for my guards … the ones not 'Tombstone's' payroll. I suggest you flee before you find yourselves public enemies."

The group looked at each other with stern but knowing looks, and began heading out the nearest window. "Don't get comfortable, Tombstone. We know you exist now, and we'll be sure to bring the war to you next time." Leonardo threatened before jumping out

As he waited for the officers, he made a memo. "Note to self, avoid saying anything that can be recorded around them …" He paused. "And lock windows."

Peter groaned as he was forced to get ready for a dance that would soon be the end of any and all dignity he's managed to acquire up to this point. It seemed Parker luck had taken its downside today. First he made a bet with flash, followed by Aunt May making him lose Betty, then there were the slightly sore ribs he got from Rhino's rampage (the Daily Bugle was gonna eat that one up), and finally, now he was involved in two crime wars!

He didn't even know he was involved in one of them, and the second was more of a turtle thing, but it was still ridiculous! Especially when guys can just naturally kick his ass with skill alone, though there was a small betting pool between him and the guys on whether or not Tombstone was enhanced in some way.

Now to cap off the tragic night, he was being forced to walk with shame to the dance alone. "I could have sworn I left this in my closet." He stared at his costume as he finished putting on his dress suit. Hopefully Aunt May never checked under the bed.

"Peter, come down stairs, you're going to be late." Oh sweet, naive aunt May. If only she knew.

"I don't think it's going to matter, Aunt May, I don't have a date." He sighed. If he didn't overlook his meddling Aunt, maybe he could've had the time to ask Gwen out, but she was going with Eddie tonight, and he and him have still been on shaky grounds ever since the lizard incident, so tonight was just going to be oh so fun for Peter.

"Now that's not true at all." She smiled. "I was talking with my friend, and that Mary Jane girl i've been telling you about was free." … Noooooo!

"Did you set this whole day up?" He asked in horror. "Aunt May, you're an evil mastermind." Of all the people to plot the end of Spider-Man, he never would've expected Aunt May.

"Now now, don't exaggerate." She chuckled as the doorbell rang. "Oh, that would be her now." Maybe he could still jump out the back if he tried.

"Come on Aunt May, don't do this to me." He tried to beg.

"Well I wouldn't feel the need to do it if you had asked anyone else out."

"I did ask someone out." Peter countered.

"Anyone that was more age appropriate, dear. I'm honestly surprised you didn't ask April out, she had a wonderful personality just like Mary Jane."

Those words still made him shiver. "Aunt May, you keep saying that, and I don't think it means what you think it means."

"Of course it does. Now come on, you should at least meet her." Well she did have a point … alright Peter. Just open the door, look her in the eyes, and let her down easy. Hopefully, you could both save face for tonight. Peter opened the door …

And was met with a beauty not met for most mortals, wearing a form fitting black dress and staring at him with the green eyes of a predator, a satisfied smirk resting on her lips. "Face it Tiger, you just hit the jackpot."

…Okay, maybe he did have a thing for redheads.