John Jameson considered himself to be a rather simple man. Sure, that might sound strange when he was a pilot and astronaut with one or two medals under his belt, but really he was just a man who loved doing his job.
Although at times, like now at this fancy socialite party thrown by philanthropist L. Thompson Lincoln, he was starting to wonder if his dad loved his job more than John did, given how how this was the fifty-first time within the night his dad bragged to everyone in that 'proud parent' tone.
"My son, John Jameson, the astronaut!" The man shouted, showing him off with a smile. He knew his dad loved him with all his heart, but honestly he felt like he was an award being shown around. "Make way people, a true American hero in the making walks before us!"
"We know, you've said as much for the last hour." The sixth stranger they've circled around back to sighed in exasperation. "Wait, so his name is John Jamenson…"
"Correcto!"
"And your name is John Jonah Jamenson …"
"Don't you forget it!"
The man looked back and forth between the two. "Doesn't that get confusing?"
"Only when grandpa J comes over for the holidays." John chuckled.
"So many Js." They muttered, walking away.
"Dad, come on, tonight isn't about me." John smiled. "It's about supporting others. Isn't that the whole point of philanthropy to begin with?"
"Philanthropy is just a way for corporations to make themselves look good so people will pay them more money. Nothing like honest yet controversial news I tell ya." His dad replied with an impeccably timed response as usual. "Plus if we're going to have a night on the town, why not have it on someone else's tab?" If there was anything his dad was a master of, it was time management and money saving.
"I'm glad to see my money is going to a good cause." They both turned to the man running this show, Lincoln, an albino man with a shark toothed grin. "I'm honored to have you here, I've never spoken with a man before he reached the stars."
"Reaching the stars is the east part, making sure we come back down is where the real struggle begins." John answered as he shook the man's hand, holding a surprisingly firm grip. "I'm surprised, men behind desks don't normally work out."
"I've taken my share in a scuffle here and there. You'd be surprised how much physical labor can be applied to pushing pencils all day." The man answered with a bemused grin. "I'm just glad today we can gather together to support the children in desperate need of help.
"Don't I know it. Got a niece that has her whole life ahead of her." Right, cousin Mattie. It's been ages since John's seen the little rascal. She'd be in Highschool now if he remembered right. "You're a good man Lincoln." Dad patted the guy on the back. "I tell ya, this event is gonna be amazing and spectacular."
Gaah
The glass window exploded … or screamed, it was hard to tell. All he knew was that there was green smoke, cackling, then a green man flew in riding a gargoyle. "Hello citizens of New York! The Green Goblin graces this evening with naughty mischief!"
"… Dad, has New York always been like this?" He'd like to think his memory wasn't THAT fuzzy.
"Excuse me sir." Lincoln surprisingly seemed to be the only one in the audience that hadn't been surprised, in fact, the man hardly flinched a muscle at the uncanny sight. "I do believe you were not on the guest list."
The man flying around clicked their tongue. "Oh yes, but I did bring an invitation, where did I put it. Ah, right." With a snap of his finger, multiple men wearing pumpkin masks came in, holding guns at multiple civilians. "I think that counts, wouldn't you, Tomby?" Well this escalated quickly.
"You're clearly not well." The man said without hesitation as the security detail tried to rush the man on the glider. "My men will be more than happy to accommodate you out of here.
"Tsk, tsk, tsk, for such a BIG and important MAN of the city, you are really afraid to get your hands dirty." The maniac cackled as he flipped out of the way of the guards, displaying impressive agility as he swung back and forth on a chandelier. "Something that the Green Goblin has no issue indulging in. And all of New York will know, when I paint this whole room green and red!"
"Robbie." Dad whispered into an earpiece. "The event is under attack by a madman. Call the police, the hospital, and anyone else … and get Parker to show up, there's bound to be spider photos." Priorities, something all out of wack for his dad.
"I don't know what your trying to prove, but I assure you you'll never get away with this." The host of the evening seemed to know nothing about the concept of fear.
"I don't think you noticed, I pretty much can." The Goblin laughs manically, dropping from the ceiling and shooting some sort of electricity from his fingertips, sending all of Lincoln's security to the ground. "So either take off the friendly businessman mask you've oh so carefully crafted for all these years, or have green be the last thing anyone in this room will see in about.,.15 minutes or so."
John tried to take that moment of distraction , jumping at the Goblin, only to be hit with an unbelievable strong hit to the stomach. "Seriously, I was talking to him. Manners, nobody has them tonight."
"John!" His dad cried out as he helped him get back up from the blow. "You alright son?"
"Yeah..nothing broken except my pride." And maybe a rib, but best to leave little details like that to himself for now. Maybe someone else could take a swing at this guy.
Raph ran forward from roof to roof. "That skull is so getting cracked." He rubbed his palm. That Goblin freak was tougher than he looked, it felt like his hand was getting squeezed by a nut crusher or something.
"We all want a piece." Mikey seemed a bit more peeved off than usual, keeping pace as he glared at their destination.
"Don't start going off the handle just yet, Mikey; that's Raph's job." Leo commented as they made another leap across a building. "Donnie, any idea what this guy is?"
"He wears a lot of tech for it to be the usual mutant, but the strength is well above the average human." Donnie analyzed. "Whoever he was, he already knew about us beforehand, and how we operate." So anyone from Tombstone to the Foot. That boded well.
"We keep getting stuck with bad guys we can't beat. I'm a little sick and tired of it to be honest." The youngest brother grumbled. "I don't want to keep being afraid of coming out of the sewers every night because some stupidly named jerk wants us to stay down."
"I'm pretty sure the Shredder just wants Master Splinter rather than us staying down." Leo responded. "Don't worry Mikey, we'll rise above them, we just have to get stronger." Look how that ended up last time … seriously, Raph only half remembered it. The concussion made remembering that night a pain and a half. "ETA on Spidey?"
"He's halfway here, apparently his date tonight didn't give him any flack for ditching." Donnie responded. "If only we could dance under the moonlight ourselves my darling princess …"
"I'm pretty sure April is fine on not dancing with giant green turtles." Raph deadpanned. This delusion could only go on for so long. Unless there was another mutant out there willing to give any of them a shot, Raph was pretty sure Romance was a dead end for all of them. "Speaking of, how are we dealing with this bozo?" He pointed to the building. "It's a party he's crashing, and we're not exactly on the guest list.
"We're gonna need a way to force him out first." Leo said as they looked up at the giant building. "It'll take too long to climb and the crowd is definitely gonna get us noticed."
"I can hack into the security system and turn off all the lights." Donnie suggested as he brought out his T-phone. "The crowd's blinded and we can bag that eccentric elf before anyone sees anything."
"Sorry, the security is extra tight this year." … They turned to a giant mutant dog Raph was sure he'd seen before. "We'll have to take you in for questioning."
"How does he keep sneaking up on us!?" Donnie shouted. "He's a giant, he's not subtle!"
"A real ninja knows how to adapt to unfortunate circumstances, something you'll never have the chance to learn!" The mutt raised that giant boney fist and tried to crush him down.
"Is it just me, or does he sound a lot like O'Hern?" Raph asked as he ducked out of the way. "That might be the gravelly voice and giant size confusing me, but I'm not the only one who hears it, right?"
"How-oh right, concussion." Leo muttered as he avoided a blow. "It's Bradford, he got mutated along with … where's Xever?"
"Sleeping with the fishes. Don't worry, you'll join him rather shortly!" Well that was morbid, but Raph wouldn't waste time feeling bad about it.
"Alright, how did we beat him last time?" Raph asked as he tried to go in for a few blows, blocked by the claws of the giant ex movie star.
"Spidey had Gene Cleanser on hand, causing massive nausea. Unfortunately, we didn't think to carry spares." Donnie explained as he gave a blow to the head.
"Oh yeah, thanks for reminding me of the extra motivation to end you freaks!" They growled, going in for a bite.
"Come on, DogPound, don't you have better things to do now, like chasing your own tail?" Mikey swung in and kicked him right in the snout. "I'd kill to see mine just once, but the shell makes it difficult and all."
"I do have one trick up my sleeves." With a whistle, multiple Foot ninja appeared from the shadows, throwing stars Raph was forced to block.
"Oh we don't have time to deal with you jokers right now!" Donnie complained as he whacked away the approaching ninjas that were beginning to circle them.
"Sorry if we picked an inconvenient time to ruin your lives." Dogpound rolled his eyes as he charged once more, only for a web to catch the fist from behind.
"What do yah know, the real parties happening outside." Peter came in with his usual quip, pulling the mutt back. "So where's the high flying slime ball you were talking about?"
"Inside. We can handle these chumps, you focus on getting the laughing boy away from the crowd." Leo ordered, backflipping as he rammed a foot goon into a wall.
"Got it, see yah on the flip side, turtles, I'll be sure to save you all a piece of cake!" Spidey began swinging out of there
"Your not going any-" Bradford didn't get to finish as Raph pounced on top of the ugly's big fat head.
"What are you waiting for, web head!?" Hop to it!" Raph barked as the nerd swing into the next building. "Guess Spidey's stuck on his own." The turtle growled as he rushed once more to 'Dogpound'. Apparently it was too much to ask for a break every now and then. Here's to hoping this one didn't leave any of them in critical condition again.
"Ring around the rosey's, a pocket full of posies…!" The Goblin sang as he flew around the room, the fearful looks of the audience bringing such warm feelings to his heart. "Ashes, Ashes, you'll all die now!" Not bad for a first debut, crowd could've been bigger and the stage left much to be desired, but if the city was going to fear the name of the Green Goblin, then tonight's little firework show would most certainly cement that name as the bad of all baddies:
The Green Goblin had to admit, they had doubts that going to such extravagant megures was worth it when it would be pragmatic to simply kill the Big Man then and there … but there was a certain spark in seeing so many faces filled with fear, and so few faces filled with utter rage. "Is the song and dance necessary?" Tombstone asked. "These people are innocent, they should be free to leave."
"Mmmm … nah." He waved off. "Once you look deep enough, everyone's a sinner. I bet even goody two shoes astronaut boy has deep dark secrets lurking if I squeeze it out of his lungs." The Goblin chuckled. "After all, you know what they say about one bad day."
"Is it that you get a free discount on lemonade?" Ah … there was the cue he's been waiting for, the man who could change a city.
"Spider-Man!" The two Jamesons shouted.
"Yes yes, I know I wasn't invited, but when I saw that Caze E Man was on the guest list I just had to see him in person." They swung in through the broken window. "So, let me make a wild guess. Tomby turned you green and you prefer a new shade of color?"
"I assure you, whoever this masked maniac is, i his is no one of my employ." Tomby was really walking that fine line between philanthropist and mob boss. If he wasn't about to die, the Goblin would've considered having him over for a nice game of poker.
"I believe he was talking to me." He clicked his tongue. "Nobody tonight has any manners."
"Well that may be the public attack to threaten multiple people." Spider-Man quipped with a glare. "I heard it does a number on one's respect."
"So true, so true, but fear always manages to drum it back up. You hate the big man, I hate the big man. Just imagine it, Goblin and Spider, no, Spider and Goblin, teaming up!" The arachnid always managed to get back up from anything, even a piercing through the chest from what he heard, power like that was wasted just stopping crime. "Together we can rule New York!"
"Are we talking politically or socially, because those are … nah." They waved off. "Tempting offer, but sorry. My contract for partnerships requires green skin and not being psychotic, you just missed off by one, gobby." He countered.
"So he DOES know giant turtle men! I told you I wasn't crazy!" Goblin idly aimed a finger and blasted near his own goon. There were some things in this world that were best kept a secret for now to capitalize on later.
"Oh well, your loss…of life!" Goblin cackled as he pointed a finger to blast the bug where he stood.
They avoided the shot, moving and weaving as if he knew where he was shooting. "You know, I heard about your arsenal, I think they overhyped it."
"Oh, then I take it that you've heard about this then?" He swung some bat blades at the web line, scratching in the air as they sliced clean through.
"Batarangs? I feel like someone somewhere is going to sue you for copyright, but I don't know who." The do-gooder narrowly avoided being sliced and diced into spider-sirloin as he ran across the walls.
"Oh dear old me, I better make sure nobody sees them and lives to tell the tale then." He cackled, mixing it up as he tossed lasers, blades, and pumpkin bombs. The last of which came pretty close to a couple of civilians. "Careful insect, you're getting close to the splash zone!" He cackled as he tossed some bombs directly at said civilians.
"Seriously Gobby, I'm gonna need to see a license for your entire artillery. None of these are ever gonna get past the FDA if you just keep leaving your toys everywhere." The spider-scrambled to weave away the weapons out the windows.
"Oh, I do believe I have it right here, right next to my license to kill." He pressed his foot down, a blade extending from his glider. "But it's pretty small, so make sure to get in close!" The Goblin swooped in to try and pierce the masked man head on.
"Oh, you're offering free rides now?! Yes! I call shotgun!" The so called hero flipped above his head and landed right behind him on the glider, grabbing him from and gripping tight, restraining the arms as they were forced to make their way outside.
"Spidey, if you wanted to get up close and personal, you should have just asked." He freed himself from the grip, and delivered a punch … one that both knocked the hero back, but left his hand a little sore.
What the actual hell? He was hopped up on Gloubulin Green with a kevlar and diamond infused armor. Why did that feel like punching someone in the face pre green? He heard from Bradford that this man held back, but was it really enough to outpace a human adult well beyond the physical peak? "I gotta say, you pack some muscle, but why do I doubt you were bitten by a radioactive Goblin?"
"It's true, it's true, I'm really a leprechaun that fell down a well full of dark matter, it's embarrassing really." No matter, he just needed to keep laughing and throwing pumpkin bombs.
"Aww, don't worry pal, it doesn't matter if you're made of electricity or become a walking rhino, everyone's equal behind a jail cell." They stuck to his glider like glue, making it hard to actually use said bombs without the risk of blowing himself off.
"Sorry, but Green does clash with the new orange." He responded, resorting to using laser fingers to try and get some distance between him and the web head. "It's just like they say, if you can't join them, beat them!"
"You took the words right out of my mouth. Is that a felony?" The wall crawler questioned as he chased him across the New York rooftops.
"I certainly hope so, the green goblin would never be caught dead causing a misdemeanor!"
"Nice banter, but your aim's a little off!"
"Practice makes perfect!" He shouted back.
"Keep telling yourself that." Maybe he was wrong about the jokes, they were pretty fun when your victims were on the run.
Leo quickly realized they never actually 'fought' Dogpound before, just incapacitated him with the Gene Cleanser. In actuality the guy was pretty tough, his muscles were so dense that sharp weapons were treated exactly the same as blunt ones, and that wasn't covering the dense bones that were sticking out of his arms, not only being an extra level of durability, but sharp as well.
In summary, he really lived up to the 'pound' part of his name when brawling them. "I gotta say, it's ironic the dog has bone sticking out of him, did your biology class give you an A plus?" At least he got to work on his quipping skills. He liked to think he was getting better.
"Please don't start with that, my will to live can only last so long with all the jokes being told." Raph groaned.
"Alright, what about … we're gonna take you to the Pound, dog?" He asked.
"Nope, that doesn't flow right out of order." Mikey commented as he took out some of the Foot ninja that tried to jump in. "Gotta say something like 'we rolling this Dog back to Pound!' or 'Yer ain't nothing but a Pound Dog!' if your want to do the switch-up right."
"I am gonna stab one of these in my eyes." Raph muttered.
"Well why don't you try it." Leo sarcastically replied.
"Hey Dogpound, with the new mug you might actually get a roll in a movie for a change. It's more noticeable than your old washed up face ever was." Raph said instantly as he delivered a punch to another foot's face.
This actually made the mutant mutt flinch for a second. "WHY YOU LITTLE-!" The former celebrity ended up getting tripped up by a sneak attack from Donnie.
"Dang, Raph's got some burns, must be the angry New Yorker in him." Mikey commented.
"With Spidey on our team I've had to up the arsenal." The turtle admitted. "Although I will concede the angry New Yorker bit."
"Speaking of, do you think he's doing alright?" Donnie asked as he blocked a ninja star.
"Dudes, he's fully charged, he's got this." Mikey waved off.
Gah
Both sides stopped the fighting, turning to see … well if Leo ever had doubts about the 'Spidey Sense' before, they're gone now. "Where do you keep all this stuff? I know your pockets aren't that big, spandex is way too tight!" Shouted the masked vigilante, dodging an array of bombs, blades, and lasers that would be impossible for anyone other than a gymnast to avoid.
"A good magician never gives away his secrets, and dead bugs tell no tales!" The green clown laughed, sideways, upside down, and even backwards with that glider of his.
"Clearly you have never heard of Zooarchaeology!" They shouted back, pausing the descent as the Goblin was clearly about to crash into a building. While rough, it would give them the edge and-was he backflipping over the building!? Not to mention the glider went through it no problem, as if it didn't exist!
"… So he's dealing with that." Leo noted the impossible feat of athleticism that gave him a mild flashback to Shredder knocking them senseless.
"Was he throwing Wingnut-a-rangs?" Mikey asked. "I feel the need to sue someone somewhere for this transgression."
"That might be the least of our problems." Spidey jumped to them, panting. "This guy is tough."
"Thank you. I do try my best." The Goblin cackled as they pulled out another bomb. "Now tonight, let's dine on some animal cuisin-"
Spark
The Glider he was on began to spark, smoke emanating from the side, fire growing from a small patch. "Oh yeah, I forgot I managed to stab it." Mikey smiled.
"Mikey, you're the MVT! Most valuable Turtle!" Spidey shouted as he jumped up at the goblin, finally knocking the bastard off that glider and on even ground.
"In hindsight, I should've patched that earlier…. oh well." The insane man snickered. "Now while it's conceivable that you can beat me in a scuffle, there's still the matter of a little gift I left behind back in the ballroom. After all, what's a party without favors?"
"You're just trying to bluff." Leo raised a blade.
"Probably … but can you really live with yourselves if you called it wrong?" The green man sent them a devilish grin. "My special made to order thermite Pumpkin bomb has a little extra spice in it, enough to blow the entire building to smithereens."
"I'm starting to see why the Shredder recruited you." Bradford smirked
… WHAT!? "Are you kidding me!?" Spidey shouted. "That guy just … gah!" They launched some web lines. "Sorry guys, I need to take care of this, you're on your own!" He shouted, swinging back up.
"Fine, we got this Cree-"
Zap
With a level of electricity they hadn't felt since Electro, the turtles felt their shells fry as they struggled to keep themselves standing.
They stared as the Green Goblin slowly made his way up. "Full disclosure, I'm going to need a bigger arsenal for a rematch with that web head." The creep chuckled. "Mind leaving things at a draw? From one green freak of nature to another."
"Forget that! We can finish them right here and-!" DogPound preseed something on his ear, properly a headpiece, and groaned. "But master..!" A tense silence followed for ten seconds. "Foot, withdraw for now."
A moment later, they all vanished, leaving the turtles exhausted and on the ground. "Like I said …" Mikey groaned. "Too many people we can't beat are showing up lately." Something was terribly wrong in the universe when Mikey could make this much sense for such a long period of time.
Parker luck was really kicking it into high gear this time around. No wonder he was able to score such an understanding (not to mention beautiful as hell) date to the prom, the night was just waiting for him to drop his guard so Spider-man could get screwed six ways to Sunday.
This Green Goblin, this absolute psycho was now an active player in the wars. Strength that was almost on par with his own, an arsenal that almost defied physics, and someone with admittedly better barbs than him! And he was on Shredder's payroll too! Some people could really be the worst.
The only upside to this whole situation was that he chose to attack Tomby … and even then he couldn't enjoy it, as he was now technically saving said man! He swung through the window, looking at the crowd. "There's a bomb! Everyone, get out of here!"
"Nobody move, or I shoot!" A man in a pumpkin mask called back. He did not need dumbasses willing to die tonight.
"Are you really willing to risk your lives for this?" Tombstone slowly approached the goons forward, and despite having the pumpkin masks on them, Spidey could feel how much fear was building up in their faces. "Because you've risked so much else tonight." Guess that explained where Gobby got his followers.
The goons looked at each other, giving knowing nods. "We got paid already, so now we ditch!" And rushed out their door.
"That's your cue folks, make your way down!" He pointed to the door.
"Come on John, we've gotta scram." Glad to see Jolly J wasn't focused on him for a change. "That Spider Menace will blow us all to smithereens." Ah, nevermind. All was right with the world.
One by one, the guests fled, leaving Spidey free to inspect the room, starting by flipping the tables. Gobby didn't strike him as the type to bluff. "Surprise your not the first in line to scramble out of the building." Peter flared at Tombstone, who was also looking under the tables.
"My party, my mess." The man answered as he tossed an empty table. "You were the one closest to him, any hints about where he'd put it?"
"From the laughter? Inside of a man's stomach." Spider-Man grumbled, checking under the buffet table. "Come on, it's supposed to blow up the building. It's gotta be big …"
"Spider-man! The chandelier!" The voice of John Jameson came as the man rushed back up the stairs he was going down, breathing heavily as he pointed above them.
"Thanks Colonel, now get out of here, it's about to get messy!" Spider-man wasted no time to rush up to the ceiling. Sure enough, there was a pumpkin bomb in the chandelier. It looked like the others, but his spider-sense was going off big time.
"Web fluid, don't fail me now." He pleaded, slowly linking up threads into a net of sorts, lighting up a line into a makeshift slingshot, locking in the bomb.
"And here I thought it was organic." He took a moment as he pulled to glare at Lincoln.
"Oh for the love of, I just can't right now." Spidey grumbled as he let go, smashing it through the window as it flew higher, and higher, and higher-
Bawaaaaaaaaaaaasggggghhh!" A dreadful screech was heard throughout the New York night, the black night sky being replaced with a gaseous green forming into the shape of a giant pumpkin.
"And another couple lives saved." He muttered, staring at the very real and deadly threat as it covered the sky. "For the record, this wasn't for you." He told the Big Man.
"Last I checked, you did exactly what I would have asked of you, and I didn't have to spend a dime." Tomby sent him a smirk. "That, boy, is what we in the industry call, cold irony."
"If my reputation wasn't dubious at best I would punch you in the face right now." Looks like Spider-man got the bitter end of the deal for once, hopefully that meant something more pleasant was in store for Peter Parker.
"Master Shredder." Bradford bowed before him. "May I ask why we were ordered to retreat? You've berated us before for not capturing the turtles." Xever made a gurgling noise of what sounded like agreement.
"Tonight was about more than my rivalry with the Hamato clan, that is all you need to understand for now, Bradford." Shredder spoke evenly. "You may leave now, I need to have a private conversation with our associate."
"I … yes, Master." The beast bowed, leaving the room before the door shut behind him. The man's mutated form had many added uses, but he was still that same lost man he found all those years ago.
After making absolutely sure no one was left in the room, he dialed a secure line. "Tombstone is still alive." He spoke into the phone.
"That is the case, yes, but the man has absolutely no clue who was behind tonight's attack, or your involvement. Tombstone wouldn't be happy if your boys got caught on camera." Norman responded. "That would be the case if I hadn't destroyed all the security feed, so your clan gets to stay in the shadows as much as you want."
"That won't be the case if he investigates the maker of 'super villains' instead." He pointed out.
"You'd think so … on my way out of stealing my own equipment, I ran into Norman Osborn." The man cackled in a way that would've made him question it if Shredder didn't have prior context.
"You hired a double?"
"Even stranger. It was the work of a professional thief known as the Chameleon. He came to take something for a rival business."
Well wasn't that a name. "Do you require me to take care of him?"
"No, he served a purpose, and he can't steal what the Goblin has already taken. I believe his services can be beneficial to us in the foreseeable future." The man raised a valid argument. "Now Tombstone will have no choice but to suspect a fourth party in the mix is out to claim his throne, leaving us to plan to our hearts content."
"Speaking of, how was your little 'pet project'?" The Shredder asked.
"Better than I expected yet I still found myself surprised. I had enough strength to toss the turtles like nothing, agility to leap over buildings, but even with the armor adding to the superhuman strength, it was only able to rival Spider-Man by a fraction of power." The man admitted. "I can't tell if you beat him through luck and manipulation, or an absurd skill that surpasses the likes of armies across the world."
"A combination of both, as well as the man's general naivety. For all their skill, they are children fighting a war they can never hope to be ready for."
"Looks like the Goblin will need to step up his game then." Norman grumbled.
"If you keep referring to yourself in the third person, you might genuinely develop a second personality." He deadpanned.
"I don't see why you are complaining, you finally have an super-human on your side, with many more to come for when the occasion arises."
"I hope to see so then." He hung up, taking a breath. In all honesty, Norman was the closest he's had to competence in years. Not to mention he had decent views compared to most people, understanding how the world should function, and the true value of strength.
The man reminded him that there was more to being the Shredder than just his revenge. The power and respect that needed to be reinforced. Oroku Saki would do more that just control this city. He would take Splinter's entire adoptive home…and strangle it by the throat…by any means necessary.