Annasi munched on his coffee bean as he sat in the bag. Today was a so called 'parents day', meaning that he was at an even bigger risk of being seen if he was out and about. Why the heck did parents need to come to school to talk about their jobs? Wasn't that one of those things you did at home? Was it a bragging rights competition or something? That seemed right up Longg's and Mjollnir's alley.
… Maybe he should have tried to negotiate time on Peter's cell phone to pass the time. Today seemed like it was going to stretch. "Ahhh, that baker girl's parents are here. That mean's fresh bread for my Camembert!" The spider kwami heard the familiar voice of Plagg in the air, so he peaked out of the bag, and sure enough, saw the black cat smelling the air.
Annasi floated over to the cat kwami. "Not that I'm one to care if people know about me or not, but you do know we're trying to hide from Hawkmoth's awareness, right?" He questioned, getting the creature's attention.
"Oh …" Plagg spoke in a tone that spoke of mischief. "I think that bread's filled with coffee jelly."
"Where?!" He shouted, trying to get a sniff. "I won't be denied! I already had to skip out on that when UK was my holder, and I won't be denied a second time!"
They went over to the baked goods. "Looks of variety here." Plagg smirked. "Chocolate, vanilla, ohh, and a cookie-" He paused. "... Annasi?"
"Hmm?" He followed … seeing a cookie being sucked into the Dupain-Cheng girl's bag by something inside. "... Girl with bluish hair … access to sweets and artificially created goods … you don't think …"
"We shouldn't." Plagg said.
"Yeah…" Annasi nodded.
"It's against the rules."
"That's what you say."
"..."
"You're gonna go in there anyway, aren't you?" He asked.
"It's my sugarcube, can you blame me?" The cat shot back as they moved to the bag. "Heya Love-bu-"
"AHH!" Sure enough, Tikki was in there, shouting in panic as she threw her cookie at Plagg's face. "Plagg!? What are you doing here!?"
"Shouldn't you know, considering the whole ying-yang thing you two got going?" Annasi asked.
"Annasi!? You're here too!?" Tikki shouted.
"Hey, I think someone's trying to take your cookies, Marinette." The Alya chick said. "I can hear voices coming from around there."
"It's free samples, there's not really a reason to hide and steal you know."
"Ugh, scatter." Tikki groaned, grabbing the two by the hands and phasing them through the bag and into a nearby corner. "Seriously? Could you two NOT keep a low profile for once in your lives?"
"In my defense … I was bored." Annasi admitted without shame.
"I see you're as psychotic as your previous owners." The ladybug kwami deadpanned.
"Psychotic implies I'm emotionally unstable and unbalanced, and I'm the kwami of stability. If your going to insult me, call me Apathetic or sadistic. That's more accurate."
"If I called you apathetic I would have to deny that you and coffee have the same relationship as Plaag and cheese." She shot back. "Otherwise you would have destroyed Earth the moment Jessica was taken in by Hydra."
"It was tempting, don't get me wrong." If it was just Hydra on the planet, he would definitely send earth into the sun with no hesitation. "And at least you and Plagg's holder saved her before she did anything else that was too gruesome."
"The guy that didn't mind the cannibal holder considered nazi's gruesome… that's morbidly hilarious." Plaag chuckled.
"Don't act like I'm not mad at you either now, Plagg, you know you're not supposed to come in contact with me." Tikki glared. "And now you BOTH know my holder's identity, just great."
"Why does everyone make a big deal about that? It's not like we can say anything." He noted. "Now on a more serious note … where's the coffee jelly bread?"
"Can you take anything serious for once?" Tikki groaned. "Ugh, this is why my holder hates yours so much. You just can't help but set a bad example."
"Hey, for the record, I let the kid go about as he pleases." He argued. "The only real responsibility he has is making sure time and space don't collapse on reality as a Spider Totem. Anything else is his choice." He pointed to Peter, helping his aunt move around a couple of clothes. "If he wants to use his streaming money to save up for university, then by all means let him."
Tikki blinked, following where his hands were pointing and staring at his holder with wide eyes. "….That's your hold-!"
"Sugar cube, inside voice." Plaag told her, placing a paw on her mouth.
"Yes yes, for once your husband is the reasonable one." Annasi nodded.
Tikki slapped Plagg's paw off him and shook her head. "...Your holder … is … but my holder and him are friends…."
"Yeah." Annasi nodded.
"But they hate each other so much in the masks…"
"It happens." He shrugged. "They can't recognize each other."
"But … but … Peter's so nice and helpful, and Spider-man's…"
"A douche?" Plaag offered.
"The mask is a consequence free option. Even if you had a good heart it would be a shame to not use it." The kwami shrugged.
"It's not consequence free. Everything has consequences." Tikki growled.
"And this is why you could never stand me." He rolled his eyes … "Wait a second …" Annasi said, his eyes widening. "Plagg's holder is Adrien …"
"Why would you just say that?" Tikki asked with a growl.
"Who's Chat Noir." He continued. "Who has a crush on Ladybug, who constantly turns him down, because she's Marinette, who has a crush on Adrien …"
The ying-yang couple just looked at each other silently for a moment. "...Oh my american cheese, we're in a love rectangle AGAIN!" Plagg groaned as he slapped his head.
"Wait, again?" Annasi asked. "You never told me this story."
"Because it's the most annoying one we have." Tikki groaned. "Last time it was Joan of Arc's time… because for SOME reason the guardian of the box of that time thought it was a good idea to give the two miraculous to RIVALRING kingdoms!"
"And you complain Madame Web makes bad choices." He smirked.
"Least the guardians don't treat our holders like their lottery numbers." She argued.
"Eh, it's worked out fine enough, the world hasn't exploded yet." Annasi shrugged. "I mean, Plagg's the one you should worry about if that's your concer-wait, where'd he go?" He turned his head.
"Don't know. I half expected him to rant about the complaints of romance for the next hour or so." Tikki admitted. "Must be trying to snag a meal."
"Right, important things." Annasi remembered. "Coffee jelly bread, where is it?"
"If I take you to it, will you stay out of sight?" Tikki sighed.
"You know how easy I am to bribe." He smirked. Hopefully this was a sign of an easy day.
"I'm glad to hear he doesn't sound sleep deprived." May chuckled as she talked with Peter's friends. "Peter's always drinking so much coffee, I'm concerned about when he sleeps."
"Trust us, we can smell the caffeine on him every morning." One of Peter's friends, Alya Cleasaire, snickered. "That alone is enough to keep anybody awake with one whiff."
"Glad to keep the class up and running." Her nephew smiled. It was good to see him in good spirits. Even with all the villain attacks, it seemed he genuinely found his place within this class. "Surprised so few parents showed up though."
"My mom's busy with an astronaut training program." Another of Peter's friends, Max, said with a smile. "Juleka said her mom heard a cop was coming here and bailed."
"My dad's the only one with a job, so he couldn't be here." A short girl next to a tall boy stated.
"My dad's busy with Jalil being … Jalil." A red head by the name of Alix sighed. "I think I saw him bring a restraining order, so that's probably not a good sign."
"Unlike you losers, I get to be here and show off my Daddy, the mayor." A blonde girl gave off a particularly unpleasant smirk right next to a man in a sash in the style of the french flag. May wasn't one to make harsh criticisms about other people… but these two wreaked of entitlement and undeserved privilege.
"A pleasure to meet the lovely teacher helping my lovely Chloe." The man, presumably the Mayor as the girl said, smiled as he shook Ms. Bustier's hand.
"It's simply my job to guide students into the best versions of themselves." The kindly teacher nodded. "Although I have noticed that Chloe has a habit of being just a little….brash with the other students."
"Ah, headstrong. What a wonderful little girl." He said, completely brushing off the concern. "Her friends would do well to learn from her bold personality."
"Oh we learn something alright." Peter muttered as he rolled his eyes. "So is Nathalie the cyborg showing up or is it a solo day?" He asked his friend, Adrien.
"Father said he would be here …" The boy sighed sadly. "But I wouldn't count on it… he's a busy man, it's just what happens."
"Once is being busy. Fifteen times is a sign that it's not something that 'just happens'." Peter said, holding out a croissant. "How about you tick him off and go against your diet."
"Croissants ARE the best form of revenge." Nice to see Peter's friendship with the boy held strong even when they were overseas. "Thank you Marinette. You truly are the best at pastries."
"Whaaa, naaa, I'm not-im not-not the best hahaha-It's all my parents!" The girl stammered after fidgeting wildly in a clearly flustered manner.
"Didn't you want to make a batch for a special-" Ms Dupain teased.
"MAMAN!" Ah, youth. To be young and emotionally confused.
"Don't be embarrassed Marinette, take pride in your work." The father chuckled. "She's gonna grow up to be a fine baker. Or designer. Or whatever she wants to be."
"So you'd be completely fine if she ended up the queen of the landfill, cause that's the only future I can see for her." The rude girl snorted without shame or remorse.
"... Remember Tom." The man muttered to himself. "It's bad to hit children …"
"Ah, my Chloe has a lovely sense of humor, doesn't she?" The mayor waved off his child's brattiness.
"...Would it be worth it to slap the Mayor for this?" Sabine quietly asked.
"Don't. What kind of example would we set for the children if we went that low?" May countered. "Besides, there is a police officer here, I don't think anyone would get away with it."
"So, Officer Raincomprix?" The teacher looked desperate to change the topic. "Why don't you come up and tell the class about your job?"
"Of course." The slightly overweight man came up to the front. "Being an officer is no picnic. It's a serious duty that you have to mentally prepare for every morning. I've been at this job for fifteen years, and one of the oath's I've always sworn to uphold is that every citizen is innocent until proven guilty." He seemed like a nice man. "Now, one thing you always need to do is an equipment check. You don't want to pop a tire when you suddenly need to rush out somewhere quickl-"
"My bracelet!" The shout of the rude girl interrupted the man's speech as the mayor's daughter began scuffling through it. "It's gone!"
"You sure you didn't misplace it under the mountain of trashy jewelry you own in your closet?" Peter asked.
"You, American!"
"Which one? That applies to both me and my Aunt." Peter shot back with a calm demeanor that indicated he was far too used to this by now.
"You stole my bracelet!"
"... Are you off the medication that makes you sound like a somewhat rational person?"
"Peter, tone down the snark." May nudged him in the shoulder.
"Chloe, what evidence do you even have?" Peter's friend Marinette glared at the girl.
"The fact he's a moron that's poor and hates me; that's all the evidence I need!"
"That's not evidence at all." Alya stated. "What about the object being on him?"
"Empty out your bag, you probably hid it there." The girl grabbed it.
"Hey, let go!" Peter struggled, before the contents spilled over … of textbooks, a charger, his wallet, and fifteen bags of ungrounded coffee beans.
"I think he may be a coffee addict." The Nino kid muttered.
"Empty your Pockets!" Chloe shouted again, trying to reach for her nephew.
"Excuse me, Mayors daughter or not, I'm not letting you lay a finger on my nephew." May got in the way and crossed her arms.
"Officer, arrest this thief! Search his stuff for my bracelet." She told the man.
"Look, I'm sure that this is just a misunderstanding." The officer thankfully responded in a calm manner. "Why don't you just take a second to calm down-?"
"Daddy!" The girl complained.
"Officer, I suggest checking the boy's possessions." The man stated.
"But I can't do that, he's innocent until-"
"Then you're fired." The room went so silent you could almost hear a penny drop.
"But sir-"
"No buts! You've failed to uphold your position, and now you've lost it!" The moron of a mayor glared as if he had the right to be angry. "Now I'm going to get an officer much more willing to listen to reason." … Wow … she never really took Martin's private rantings about corruption so seriously before but …
"Okay; I know I'm still new to Paris, but that can't be legal." Peter shook his head as the officer sadly walked out the room.
"Chloe fired any teacher who gave her an F, a couple of genuinely good workers at her hotel, and" shut down five stores." Sabrina said. "… And now my dad has no job …"
"Not like he was any good at it anyways. The only good use police have nowadays is sign paperwork, and any nerd can go and do that." Chloe scoffed.
"… Aunt May … may I say something not appropriate for most ears?" Peter asked with a shaking fist.
"No…allow me." If her Peter was being accused of a crime, then she might as well join him. "Mr. Mayor; Chloe." She walked up to the two morons and took a deep breath. She was going to rant for a while. "You two … are the most … insufferable little *Bleeeeeeeep bleep bleep bleep bleep-!*
Hawkmoth tapped his foot. So far today was pretty peaceful, nothing too serious to akumatize yet. Maybe he should have gone to that parents' day after all, see what kind of people were influencing his son. Or at the very least he should have sent Nathalie in his place to monitor Adrien.
Then again, finding the masked men that gave Ladybug and Chat Noir trouble took priority. If they could do that on their own … imagine the boost an akuma could get. An unstable force of nature, one more versatile than stormy weather even.
He felt a surge of negative emotions fill the air. It came from two souls, both of which came from Adrien's school. "Ahhh, such a swirling pot, bubbling with explosive results, after all, when children are involved, what other reaction can you have other than righteous anger!" He filled his butterfly with his power.
"Fly my little akuma, and evilize them!" He sent the butterfly out of the window, letting it rise into the air. While he could tell emotions, Hawkmoth didn't get anything too concrete until his little akuma was in range. Close now … closer now … the first soul-
*'bleeeeeeeeeeeep bleeeoing bleeep bleeeo bleeep-*' …..Wow, that was a lot of anger coming from the school. He's never felt so much righteous parental indignation before in one setting. The cursing was a bit much. He wasn't sure he wanted an akuma that had such a foul mouth. He had a standard to keep after all.
Hawkmoth nudged his butterfly to find the second source, the anger was there … but there was much more disappointment, a defeated mindsight, despair, sadness. It may not be as powerful as this raw fury … but it would be easier to guide and control. And given how his latest akuma spent hours preparing for a DATE … Hawkmoth wasn't really in the arguing mood.
He connected, taking in the information. Another Chloe case, this time she got her dad to fire the head police officer. Seeked revenge. Law, authority, justice … the ability to make people follow the law … that seemed right. "Roger Cop, I am Hawkmoth."
"Wait, Roger cop? Like robo cop?"
"Like what now?"
"You know, the movie?"
"I don't watch anything non fiction …" Other than Emmelie's movie. "But you were spurned, fired for trying to do the right thing, for following the law?"
"Yeah, I tried to uphold Justice and the mayor disregarded the rules! Ever since the heroes came no one respects the police anymore! It's sickening!"
Perfect, even better, someone who hated heroes. "Well I'm giving you the power to make anyone follow the rules! All I ask for in return is the miraculous of those heroes that ruined your life!"
"I accept!" With the deal complete, the power formed, making the man more robotic. "Citizen littering. Punishment, force them to pick up trash."
"Wait, I just missed the trash, I was going to pick it ups-Ah! I can't control my body!"
Completely focused yet unreasonable … perfect! "Excellent Roger cop! Paris will be much safer once you bring your brand of Justice to the streets!"
"Objective. Clean up corrupt system. Imperative. Remove corruption at the source. Remove current power and declare martial law." And controlling the town!? This akuma was already a winner.
"*Bleep Bleep Bleeeeeeeep*-That I have ever had the displeasure of meeting!" ….Adrien was pretty sure there were five new curse words that Peter's normally sweet and kind aunt just taught the class, as well as about six she had just invented on the spot.
Everyone just breathlessly stood or sat where they were, staring at May as she took in a deep breath. "That's all."
"… Since when was your Aunt so fluent in French?" Alix broke the silence.
"I have no idea." Peter still looked afraid at what had just occurred. "I don't even know if half of what she said were words but I'm terrified either way."
"You … you can't talk to me that way!" Chloe shouted, getting her second wind. "Who do you think you are!?"
"May Parker, an aunt who deeply cares for her nephew, and who won't tolerate a clearly ungrateful, spoiled brat trying to ruin the lives of good people." The woman said without flicking an inch.
"Dude, you have the most scary awesome aunt ever!" Nino cheered, shaking Peter.
"Is she biological?" Alya asked. "Because it's an explanation for your mouth."
"No, she married my uncle; but she's basically my mom, raising me since I was…well I guess since forever." He answered.
"Daddy, fire this woman!" Chloe shouted.
"Where do you work?" The mayor demanded. Honestly, part of Adrien was still processing the fact Chloe's dad could be … well, this bad.
"FEAST. A place that helps people, unlike you all." Peter's aunt shot back.
"… Sorry sweetie, FEAST's off limits." The man recoiled.
"Daddy!" …Was Chloe this much of a brat before he came to school?
"It's out of my hands, Martin Li and Feast are too big to touch." He sweated a bit. "But I can have the principal expel the boy." WHAT!?
"Ah, no. Do anything like that and I send this example of abuse of power online." Alya smirked as she held up her phone.
"Young lady, I order you to-"
"You order her to what?" Alya's father, who was dressed in zookeeper garb, stepped up. "Because as a concerned citizen who is undecided about who to vote into office in a few weeks, seeing the mayor make unlawful orders without proper paperwork or due process makes me think I should vote for someone else."
"And who got the paperwork for those exotic animals that are hard to maintain, had to fight to allow them to maintain their place in France in the first place, and speak up for you when an akuma attack hit a cage and caused all the animals to run loose!?" Chloe's father started to sound really…really deranged. "I'm still the mayor, and I still have more power than anybody in this room!"
"Abuse of power detected." At the robotic voice, a foot crashed through the door … as a robotic man walked through.
"Ah, the robotic apocalypse has finally come to France!" Kim shouted as he ducked under a deal. "Why couldn't they just stop at Ultron….whhhhhhy!?"
The robot turned to Alya's dad. "Panthers are not legal in the country of France." He blasted the man. "You will carry it back to Africa, by foot."
Blue and red cuffs appeared, as the man appeared to be dragged to the door. "Wait, what did you say!?" He shouted, as he was dragged away.
"DAD!" Alya shouted.
"Mayor Bourgeois, you are under arrest."
"Now listen here Raincomprix!" The mayor said with nervousness in his eyes.
"Negative. I am Roger Cop." The clearly akumatized officer stated.
"Wait, Roger Cop?" Peter raised an eyebrow. "Like Robo Cop?"
"Robo what now?" Adrien asked.
"… Every day I find a new reason to hate your dad." Peter muttered.
"You are under arrest for several violations of malfeasance in office and failure to uphold Justice." Roger cop said in a monotone voice as he shot out the cuffs at the mayor. "Your sentence to publicly apologize for your failure, after which you will face the punishment of beheading." Well, that wasn't good.
"Sabrina, get your crazy dad under control!" Chloe shouted.
"Chloe Bourgeois, you are guilty of false accusation. You're coming with me." He shot the cuffs at the girl…before Peter shoved her out of the way.
"Hey, get your hands off of me American!"
"You know I could've left you to get shot, you know that right!?" Peter shouted. "Everyone, parties over; get out while you still can!"
"Peter Benjamin Parker." The man shot out a blast at Peter, cuffing his hands in energy, linking him to Chloe. "You are under arrest for aiding and abetting a criminal and obstructing Justice. You too shall come with me."
"Oh great, now we're both going to be stuck with each other, that's clearly much better!" Chloe shouted as they were forced to march out of the room.
"Leave my nephew alone!" May grabbed a chair, running up and swinging it at the cop … doing nothing.
"May Reily-Parker. You are guilty of assaulting a police officer. You are sentenced to immediate execution." Roger's arms began to light up in a deadly looking red energy…Before a bowl of batter flew in and hit the man in the face.
"I knew making that extra bowl was a good idea!" Marinette's dad shouted as he led the class out the room. "Everyone, get to safety while he's distracted."
"Wow; Marientte has a cool dad." Adrien couldn't help but mutter as he ran out. A far cry from his own father. "Don't worry Peter, I'm sure help will come shortly!" He shouted as he ran down the hallway.
"Don't worry! This isn't the first evil robot uprising I've witnessed! I'll be fine!" Peter shouted as he and Chloe were marched away.
Adrien ran into the boy's locker room (not a closet, he remembered), and double checked to make sure no one was there. "Plagg, Claws-"
"Wait, wait wait, hold on, hold your horses!" Plaag shouted floating in front of his face … wearing a shiny … gold … bracelet.
"Plagg…what's on your face?" He asked with a small twitch.
"Oh, found this in Chloe's bag." Plagg answered. "Can't get it off, so I just moved away from the noise.
"…..PLAGG!" Adrien shouted. "Do you have any idea what you've just done!? Sabrina's dads an akuma and now Peter and Chloe are now prisoners!"
"In my defense … I was bored and that girl's bracelet case looked like a case of Camembert."
Adrien groaned. "We can worry about it later. Plagg, Claws-"
"Actually …" The kwami said. "I'm stuck, so you can't really transform."
"What do you mean I can't transform!?"
"The bracelet is stuck on my head. If I transform with it still on, the miraculous will get damaged, and using a broken miraculous is very dangerous … or deadly ….. eh, let's split it down the middle and say it's deadly dangerous."
Adrien groaned. "Plagg, you move through walls all the time! Why can't you just phase through the bracelet!?"
"Because I-!" His kwami paused for a second. "Because… " He stopped, shook his head, and suddenly the object fell to the ground. "Wow, that was easy. Good job kid."
"..." Adrien stared at Plagg with disappointment. "I'm cutting your camembert supply by half for a week."
"Aw…" The kwami pouted.
"No butts. I gotta save my two best friends now because of you." He sighed. "Plagg, Claws OUT!"
Chloe growled as she was shoved into the seat. "You better not get any funny ideas, American." This was literally the worst. Bad enough all these lamo villains kept trying to kidnap her, but now she was stuck with the absolute WORST person to get stuck with right behind Dupain-Cheng. She'd rather be dropped from the Eiffel tower again.
"The day I get a funny idea with you is the day time travel won't be dangerous." The rude American grumbled as he squirmed around like the little worm he was. "And could you move back a little? Your ego is taking up most of the space."
"And your coffee breath is making it harder to breathe back here." She narrowed her eyes. "Just my luck. Sabrina's dad get's a bad attitude and I'M the one that has to pay the price. Ridiculous, Utterly Ridiculous!"
"Oh I dunno, maybe it's because you fired him." He dared to try to pin the blame on her.
"He wasn't doing his job and arresting the criminal you are." She rolled her eyes.
"One, did you NOT hear the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' part of his speech?" The moron raised an eyebrow at her. "And two, I didn't steal your stupid bracelet! What the heck would I even need a bracelet for!?"
"Sell it off and pay for decent clothes." She shot back.
"Oh yeah, I would have gotten a good twenty euros for a shirt." He rolled his eyes.
"Five hundred actually."
The american looked at her weirdly. "Do you just wear solid gold like it's no big deal all the time?"
"Mommy always said if it's less than triple digit, it may as well be garbage." Mommy knew best after all. She put daddy in his place and got him to do whatever she wanted him to.
"You know, when people look up in the dictionary for stuck up rich snob, I'm pretty sure your face is right there next to Justin Hammer, Obadiah Stane, and Wilson Fisk."
"Says the slob with nothing going for him but a couple of grades and Adrikens." She shot back. "If he wasn't an innocent angel, he'd do the smart thing and ditch you in an alley."
"Um, darling?" She turned to see Daddy, who was nervously sweating in his seat. "Maybe we should focus more on our … predicament?"
"Relax Daddy, Spider-Man is gonna beat up this dumb old villain for us no problem." Chloe smiled. "It'll be handled no problem … unless those idiotic sidekicks get in the way and ruin everything like always."
"They're not sidekicks." The American trash spoke up like an idiot.
"Name one time they stopped a criminal without Spider-Man's help." She pointed out.
"The first time with Stoneheart, where I believe they also saved YOU at the stadium." He pointed out.
"And created a stone army that kidnapped me again and almost threw me off the Eiffel tower of Spidey wasn't there to save me." She answered back. "Heck, Ladyzero needed his help to stop that Leaper guy with a tacky scarf, and he was a nobody, and that's not even getting into that Mangey Alley cat. That loser can't even stand on his own without someone backing him up."
"Yet, everytime a villain's been defeated, it's always been with a team." The American rolled his eyes.
"Yeah, because if that spotted zero is good at anything, it's fixing up property damage for Spider-Man's pr." She said, looking outside the moving car. "Where the heck is he …" He usually caught up to her by now and swopped Chloe off her feet, then they flirted with each other while calling out other people's tackiness. It was a slightly annoying cycle, but one she'd be willing to endure if she got more time with her hero.
"Stop the car Roger Cop!" She saw the bug zero swing by, wrapping the car with a YoYo, slowing it down.
"Ladybug, you are guilty for obstruction of justice and vigilantism. You are under arrest." The villain held an arm out, firing it at the spotted vigilante.
"Vigilatism isn't really an arrestable offense anymore around the world, you know, with the good samaritan act in place." That mangy alley cat landed on the car, tying to use that dumb staff to break through
"The Good Samaritan act will be overturned on the account of your failure to apprehend Hawkmoth with two months of freedom." They said, firing at the mangy cat.
"Hey, it's not like you're doing any better!" Ladyloser shouted, trying to pull the car back.. "In fact, you're WORKING with Hawkmoth right now! How's THAT not an obstruction of justice!?"
"Once your miraculous have been captured, martial law will take place with the constant threat of magical terrorism. Every household and Parisian will be forcibly searched until Hawkmoth's identity is found."
"Great, we've gone from robocop to 1984. Any other distopian cliche's you want to add to the list?" The American rolled his eyes as he looked out the window, seeing Chat Noir still banging on the door. "You guys are doing great…but would you mind saving us a little faster?"
"Just admit they're terrible without their boss around!" Chloe shouted. "It's not that difficult."
"SPIDER-MAN IS NOT MY BOSS!" Ladyloser shouted as she got hit by a lamppost that got blasted towards her.
"He would have dodged that." She deadpanned.
The cat finally got the window smashed open, as glass got in her hair. She'd have to sue later. "Come on!" He grabbed the American, pulling him and Chloe …
"You will remain in the vehicle." And their cuffed hands yanked them back, as the arms of the American were pulled so violently from two directions it almost looked like he'd snap.
"AGGGGH!" The loser yelled. "Agh, I hate mind control! I know this might be a bit much to ask, but mind using that cataclysm thing on the cuffs?"
"You will resist Chat Noir."
Chloe punched the alley cat in the face. "Hey! Watch it, My nails just got a manicure!"
"AAAHHHHH!" The stupid sidekick fell to the side and rolled into the road.
"...Somehow I can totally buy you doing that on purpose." The American groaned. "Okay, we're controlled, stuck together, and can't leave the car without ripping off our own arms."
"Hold still. Your arms are like twigs, it'll only take seconds to break them." She aimed for his arms, and the loser dodged. "Hey! Stay still so I can free myself!"
"Is there a single … single … SINGLE section of your brain that's not focused on yourself!?" The American yelled.
"I only focus on the important people in my life. That's includes Adrikens and Spider-man, aka, the only DECENT people in this whole stinking city." She grumbled. "This is all your fault!"
"Again, I didn't STEAL YOU BRACELET!"
"Not that, though yes, I still don't believe you!" She snapped. "I'm talking about the fact Spidey hasn't shown up!"
"How the heck could that possibly be my fault!?"
"You're like Spider-Man repellent. Anytime I'm stuck with you, the real hero of this town refuses to show up." She said. "Why can't you just do the New Yorker thing and run from a fight you're clearly incapable of dealing with?"
"I don't know. Why have you created over half of every Akuma that's attacked this city?"
"Obviously Hawkmoth knows Spider-Man likes me, and used me to get to him." The nerve of that creep. "But he'll stop this current loser and save me like always, and then we can swing off into the sunset overlooking all the tacky losers envying us every second they stare." Ahh…the perfect life. If she wasn't trying to live up to her Mommy's standard, she'd just run off with the Web head right here and now, screw Paris and everyone living in it.
Ladybug groaned as she picked up her partner. "You alright Chaton?" Just what she needed, the one guy who made her hero's life easier suffering while at the same time failing to save the one guy that made her normal life easier, who was no doubt suffering being next to Chloe.
"Just need to lick off all the nail polish. Who knew Chloe had a mean left hook?" Chat shook his head.
"A mean hook for a mean girl." Ladybug muttered. Things were going well until Chloe had to open her big fat mouth. Not to mention her dad, the freaking mayor, being just an unpleasant guy who clearly abused his power. Guess Chloe had to get it from somewhere. On a more positive not, her and everyone else's parents saw first hand just how terrible the Bourgeois family was upfront. "You got the closest, could you tell where the akumatized object was?"
"No, but I do know as long as those cuffs are on the civilians, they have to do whatever Roger Cop says, even if they break a limb doing it." He grumbled, looking at his staff phone. "Can't get a hold of Spidey either. He's usually the first one to jump in, especially if Chloe's in danger."
"He's probably out filming some video or attending a photoshot, that freaking gloryhound." She grumbled. She knew he would eventually put his ego above everything else, this was no shocker at all. "Looks like it's on us now." Ladybug sent out her yoyo, flying forward through the city. "If Roger Cop's going to take control of the city, he'd have to do it from the Mayor's office."
"Of course, what better way to declare martial law than to do it from the comfiest seat in the city?" Chat chuckled as they began leaping, seeing more citizens below them with the blue and red energy cuffs on them.
"I've been picking up trash for hours!" A man screamed.
"MMMMMM!" A woman tried to scream as her hands seemed glued to her mouth. "HMMMMMMMM!"
"Someone help mommy! A robot made her close her mouth for saying funny words!" A kid stood at the edge of a crosswalk with cuffs on his legs. "And I can't move at all!"
"Looks like he's going after every law breaker he can find." Chat noted. "And here I thought you couldn't be an evil police officer."
"You're kidding, right?" Ladybug raised an eyebrow. "An evil police officer is like…the most cliche thing ever. You get those that are corrupt, those that take bribes from gangsters, police brutality on minorities and homeless, those that just ignore problems, the list could go on."
"... The world is a lot more cruel than I thought." Great, now she felt like she kicked a puppy.
"Hey, don't be like that. There's plenty of good ones to make up for the bad." She reassured. "And we're here too, really, Roger Cop's outnumbered." She patted him on the back as they made their way to citty hall, where what looked like a swat team surrounded the entire place…all of them having the energy cuffs around their necks, all of them aiming guns at them.
"Whoa, whoa, hey, easy on the trigger fingers, we're friendlies, we're friendlies!" Chat raised his hand.
"We got ordered to stop heroes!" One man screamed. "We're holding guns against our wills!"
"... I stand corrected. We're outnumbered." Ladybug deadpanned with a sigh.
"Plus side, according to Spidey, as long as they don't shoot at our face we're pretty much bulletproof." Chat grinned.
"Attention Paris, I am Roger-Cop. Mayor Bourgeois has abused his power for the last time. The city is now under my control." The villain's voice announced from the radios. "Law enforcement, shoot to kill any interlopers by any means necessary."
And with that, the guns started firing off. "Okay …okay that doesn't feel too bad … ow, ow, ow! Okay, that really, really stings!" Ladybug shouted as she jumped, getting her yo-yo out, spinning it around to make her shield. "We may be bulletproof but that doesn't account for bruising on rapid fire armament!"
"Yeah, I got that message on the fiftieth bullet hitting my chest!" Chat shouted as he began deflecting the bullets with his staff. "So what do we do? Just punch our way through? They're victims of the Akuma going against their will."
"And if we do nothing they'll keep firing at us and make our jobs even more difficult as it is." She pointed out. "We either need for them to run out of ammo or force them away from the office."
"Citizens of Paris, the public live execution of Mayor Beougerious shall commence in ten minutes."
"... Wanna run in screaming while doing our best to take our minds off the pain of gunfire?" Chat asked.
"You read my mind, partner." She nodded as she took in a deep breath, and charged through, getting hit constantly from the sides with about fifty bullets a second. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
"Sorry about this! We actually think you guys are great!" One of the police officers shouted as they continued to fire. "Daughter's a big fan!"
"Thank you, that really makes my day after dealing with someone really annoying!" Chat shouted back. "Ow ow ow ow."
Great, just great! Her day was going pretty well until Chloe acted like a brat. Now Sabrina's dad was an akuma, the city was under martial law, she had about a hundred bullets hit her in the shoulder, Peter was kidnapped and stuck with Chloe, and worst of all… "Where-OW- the HELL-OW- is Spider-Man!?" Surely that egomaniac would've shown up by now if Roger Cop was announcing himself live on tv!
"I thought you-OW-complained that he brought-OW-nothing to the-OW-party but-OW-annoyance!?" Chat Noir asked. "Is this one-OW-of those 'ironic wish' situations-OWW!?"
"Wouldn't-OW-you-OW-want an extra-OW-meat shield to-OW-take away-OW-some of the-OW-fi-OW!?"
"Absolutely! OWWW!" He shouted as they made their way inside. "Cover up the entrance, hatch it up!" They threw desks and bookshelves over the doors, doing their best to cover it up, taking a moment to breathe. "Ow, ow, ow…I think I bruised a kidney…definitely not feline-too hot right now." She was so exhausted right now she actually chuckled at that pun.
"Get ready to walk it off Chaton." She huffed. "Because we have to stop a laser wielding akuma from killing off the mayor in about … eight minutes or so." She checked her yo-yo. "We rush in, get the two kids to safety, then just punch down Roger cop till he can't move."
"That's not as ingenious as your usual plans."
"I just got shot at, I need to vent." She argued. If she couldn't punch Spider-man, she would take it out on the villain.
Chat nodded. "Let's just hope his armor isn't as thick as his head." Please, let it be easy. And Spidey … wherever you were, you were getting strangled!
Peter imagined that Ladybug was probably fantasizing about killing him right about now. And part of him wouldn't blame her, while another part would call her out for being a hypocrite for all the times she showed up late. But as he was currently strapped to his worst enemy/biggest fangirl as Roger Cop prepared a laser guillotine for the Mayor (which was pretty cool to see, not going to lie), he couldn't help but stare at the rich bitch in bafflement. "You're REALLY not worried about your dad on the verge of biting it?"
"Either Spidey saves us, or that cure thingy fixes him right back up. Win win." She answered … oh god was he making the citizens of Paris THIS complacent? Part of him felt honored to bring that much hope, the other … well guess he just never had to lose a fight from here on out…. that's unless he wasn't the next guy on the chopping block, hopefully.
"Come now. Can't I get a last meal, a final message, anything?" The Mayor asked desperately.
"You believe your word is law, that anything you say goes the moment you speak it. Now MY word is law, and anything goes the moment I speak it." Roger Cop spoke coldly. "You answer and listen to no one, so I shall give you what you have given me."
"For what's supposed to be a cold unfeeling impartial robotic police cyborg, that feels awfully petty." Peter said, looking around trying to see if there was anything he could do to get out of this before the old man died. He REALLY didn't want to reveal his identity to the world saving this guy, but that's where it looked like all the signs were pointing.
"Coming from the boy who was accused by said man and threatened to have you unfairly arrested without evidence."
"Well, yeah, I hate his guts, but not enough to kill him." Peter said.
"Also, he IS guilty!" Chloe shouted.
"Are you STILL on that!?" Plus side, he'd get to watch Chloe have the most existential panic of all existence. Sure she'll probably go full JJJ and run a smear campaign about him online afterward, but it would ALMOST be worth it.
"Yes! I'm still on that, because that's what started this whole mess to begin with!"
"What started this mess was you being so petty as to get your dad to involve the police!" He yelled back.
"Hey, the police were right there anyway." The girl rolled her eyes. "Not my fault he wasn't doing his job."
"...If I wasn't trying to be impartial, I would execute you next." The robotic cop placed the mayor's head in block as the sharp looking laser lights lit up. "Any last words of regret, Mr. Mayor?"
"I'm sorry I made my family disappointed in me." The man spoke with tears in his eyes.. "Chloe, I'm so sorry I could do more.."
"Ugh, don't be such a drama queen Daddy, everything's going to be fine." Peter couldn't tell if that was just the heartlessness or the faith she had in Spider-man … most likely the latter.
Ugh, guess he was gonna have to do this. Hopefully, he could snag a camera and capture Chloe's confusion and horror. "Annasi, Th-"
SMASSH
"Sorry, but if you have a problem with the current administration, you'll just have to write to your local congressman like everyone else!" Ladybug shouted as she and Chat Noir bursted through the room, using the yo-yo to pull the mayor out of the way.
"Ladybug and Chat Noir, you are under arrest, surrender your miraculous." The man bot stated as he fired off lasers.
"Sorry, but no one cages this cat." Chat grinned as he blocked the shot. "M'Lady, I suggest taking our guests to a more scenic view." Ladybug nodded, pulling the mayor …
"You are not to leave this room." And the mayor's arm tugged, looking like it would snap off if Ladybug kept pulling.
"AAAAGGG! Stop it please!"
"We gotta get the cuffs off!" Chat shouted. "You three, gather together, I'm gonna do something slightly stupid and dangerous!"
"Fight off the heroes." Peter's arms began to move against his will.
"Please don't punch me in the face, I can't control it!" He shouted.
"Would dream of it!" Chat smirked as he backed into the coroner. "M'lday, tie their arms together!"
"You got it chaton!" Ladybug sent her yo-yo around them. "Whatever you gotta do, do it now!"
"Cataclysm!" Chat shouted, his hand glowing as he seng a downward slash at them, striking the weird energy of their cuffs, which instantly dissipated into dust.
"I'm not even going to complain about that nearly killing me, anything to get away from that loser thief!" Chloe shouted, instantly backing away and rubbing her arm.
"For the last time, I did not steal your bracelet!" Peter shouted, thankful to be away from the rotten girl.
"Bracelet, you mean this thing?" Chat asked … holding up a golden bracelet … "I found some animal running out of the school with it. Thought it was the akumatized object so I ran late while trying to grab it."
"..." Chloe looked completely aghast and shocked, and it SO made him want to have a camera right now.
"Well, love to rub it in your face a whole lot more, but I gotta jet! See yah, it wasn't a pleasure!" Peter shouted as he ran for the door.
"No one will escape Roger Cop." The villain tried to fire at them again … instantly hitting the mayor once more. "Seize your daughter."
"I'm sorry sweetie!" The man screamed as he walked over to her, the sounds of the girl complaining reached his ears as Peter ran for cover.
"Finally, never thought that would end." Peter grumbled.
"I don't know, I had plenty of time to eat this coffee jelly pastry, so I say time well spent." The spider kwami smiled as he chewed on bread. "Ahh… soft, warm, and bitter all at once. This is the perfect way to spend the day."
"So glad you got to enjoy yourself while I had to deal with hearing loss." He rolled his eyes.
"And I'm glad you don't hold it against me." Annasi smirked. "Besides, you talk to the girl all the time."
"Yeah, with the mask on, where she's about forty percent more tolerable to be around." If he didn't have to keep up the good image he had going with her, Peter would've strangled the girl WAY earlier. "Annasi, Thwip It." After transforming, Peter jumped back in, seeing Chat blocking the attacks from Roger Cop, Chloe held down by her dad, and Ladybug with a spotted screwdriver. "Top of the morning Mr Roboto, what's on the agenda?"
"SPIDER-MAN!?" Everyone shouted in varying tones.
"Yeah yeah, I cashed in my show up early points today. Had a thing I had to take care of." He said, wrapping his chain around the akuma. "You know what that's like, right Ladybug?"
"You're SO lucky I don't have the time to strangle you right now!"
"Careful, I'm starting to think you're into that kinda thing." He slammed Roger Cop into the wall. "Also does anyone know where the Akumatized object is? All I see is metal around this guy."
"No, we were a little busy getting hit by a barrage of bullets to really focus on it." Chat answered. "My top guesses are his helmet or his gauntlets … neither of which has cracked and I've already used up my cataclysm."
"Yikes, with stakes that high today really is a Monday." Spidey winced, flipping out of the way. "What's that spotted brain of your coming up with to win?"
"He's a cyborg right?" She asked, holding up the screw driver as she gathered tools from around the room. "What if the object isn't on him, but in him?"
"Ah, so we're going to play Operation: Mad scientist addition. Wait, would that mean Hawkmoth transformed his organic parts into inorganic ones?" Spidey questioned.
"He channeled gods through a tour guide and turned a reporter into a wireless signal. You really think this is out of left field?" Chat asked as he dodged another laser.
"Fair point. You guys take the front end, I'll hand the caboose of this psychotic cop train." Spidey nodded, ducking underneath the lasers.
"You will face the full extent of the law." The robot turned around, trying to land a hit on him.
"Eh, not the first time a vigilante broke it, won't be the last." He joked, sliding between the man's legs. "Okay, let's play a game I like to call eenie, meani, miney….adhesion!" Peter stuck his hands out as he began pulling on the backside of the cyber villain, ripping off several wires and bolts.
"Error, error, error! System compromised! System compromise!"
"Oh hey, that actually worked." He half expected the man to come flying at him. Maybe Annasi had a point about not being afraid to use this power.
"Targeting scanners failing! Initiating random fire mode!" Roger Cop spun around and began blasting without any care or mercy.
"Aaaahhh!" Chloe screamed as she tried to get out of her dad's grip.
"Whoop! Almost forgot!" He was hoping to have forgotten, but if Chloe … or really anyone was in danger … then he had to save them. He quickly sent his chain out to pull the girl out of the way. "Sorry to split you father time apart, and for what I'm about to do, but it's for your own good."
"Do wha-?"
Smack
Spidey slapped the mayor with enough force to knock him out, making him go limp and let go of Chloe. Ooooh the catharsis. "Lady Luck, how we doing?"
"Now!" She tossed a book under the man's foot, making Roger cop fall back into a desk lamp, which entered his circuits and caused him to spark as Ladybug rushed forward, unscrewing the front with Chat's help. "Just a little more …" She lifted off the chest plate, showing off gears … and a perfectly normal police badge. "Sometimes it really is the most obvious choice." She threw it on the ground and stepped on it, making it crack and making the Butterfly fly out. "No more evil doing for you little Akuma. Time to de-evilize!" Cue the magical girl stock footage.
"So … how was your day?" He asked the bitch.
"Horrible, I lost my bracelet and got stuck with a no good american loser that doesn't know when to shut up." ….Resist the urge to knock her unconscious, resist the urge to punch her in the face. "Then I had to watch these bumbling clowns fail to do anything…and then you came and made things literally a million times better." She shot him those flirty eyes that he SO did not have the time to deal with right now.
"Look, this is just me spitballing, but from what I've heard around the streets with my curious cat ears, this all started because of the bracelet you lost and falsely accused someone else of taking?" Chat Noir pointed out. "Feels like you could have avoided A LOT of trouble if you didn't jump to conclusions."
"Well…. maybe if everyone else wasn't so annoying I wouldn't have assumed anything!" Chloe crossed her arms after a moment of flustering.
"Like you need a bracelet. Your natural beauty shines through enough without it." Before the compliments were just the standard Spidey civilian banter, but now he loathed giving it to this girl, but unfortunately a happy Chloe meant a less antagonistic one, which hopefully would lead to less Akumas.
"… Right …" Well, at least it shut her up. That was a plus.
He watched the miraculous cure fix up everything. "So, civilian problems hold you up?" Ladybug asked. "And here I thought you got used to speed with New York traffic."
"Oh I'm sorry, do I need to give you a timecard? Because if so, we should give you one to account for the times you and chat were late during stormy weather, Bubbler, Mr pigeon, may I go on?" He shot back.
"From what Tikki told me, your miraculous attracts danger like a magnet." She said.
"Attract danger …" Chat muttered. "I think I finally understand your taste in women."
"Uh excuse me, what was that!?" And the blissful silence was gone. It was fun while it lasted.
"CHLOE!" The mayor woke up and immediately clung to his daughter. "You're safe! You're alright!"
"Uggh, Daddy, your tears are getting all over my jacket!"
Ignoring that, he walked over to the waking officer. "You alright pal?"
"No. I got fired and akumatized." He grumbled. "All I wanted to do was do things by the book, is that so wrong?"
"Oh, that reminds me." Ladybug smiled, turning to the Mayor "Considering that the bracelet that started this whole mess was NEVER stolen, I believe there's something you need to do to rectify a few mistakes
He leaned over on Ladybug's shoulder, showing off his chain in a camera-like fashion. "Live in front of the studio audience?"
"Ah, I need to fix my makeup!" Chloe turned away, leaving the sweating mayor on his own.
"Ah…in note of his….exemplary police work…I'm proud to promote Officer Roger Raincomplex to Chief of Police."
"That … that's been my life's dream." The man cried. "I…I did it! I did it mom! I didn't waste my whole life!" The man sobbed as the tears ran down. "Now I can be someone my daughter can be proud of!"
"Wow, we hit a big emotional wall there." Chat said as the three of them slowly stepped away from the crying man.
Chloe barged back into the room. "Alright, my makeup is done."
Beep beep beep
"Sorry Princess, show's over, maybe next time!" He waved off as he sent his chain out the window. Hopefully there wouldn't BE a next time … then again, with how many Akumas she caused … there probably would. Maybe he should've let Chloe go splat that first day….damn you miraculous cure and your moral ambiguity!
Marrinete sighed a huge breath as she was able to swing back home without an issue and detransform. "Ugh, as annoying as he is, I've forgotten how easier it is to fight with three instead of two … then again I spent a long while without seeing Spider-man's face, so I guess it wasn't all bad." Roger Cop felt WAY harder than it should've been.
"Not that I'm disagreeing with you, but Spider-man's likely just like you." Tikki told her from her bag. "Someone with their own personal life that doesn't allow them to easily transform on a moment's notice."
"I know, but how could he spend over an hour unable to transform unless he was cuffed?" She asked. "It's not like he was hanging around us unmasked or something."
"Ofcoursenot, that just be silly!" Weird, Tikki said that extremely fast for some reason.… probably nothing. Tikki would never lie to her. "But he did show up eventually. That's better than not showing up at all. I mean, if your mom and dad were in trouble, wouldn't you want to get them safe first before going out?"
She sighed. "That's true …" It was just so hard to extend that courtesy to Spider-man…cause all she knew about him was that he liked attention. She didn't see any heart in what he did…unlike with Chat noir, who despite his flirting, she knew was genuine. Plus he liked Chloe. That alone was grounds for villainy. "At least I don't have to get worried about Peter being expelled … that was a scare." She couldn't risk that happening to ANOTHER friend.
Marinette sat down in her bed, turning on her phone to the news. "Once again, the town is saved from another Akuma thanks to the efforts of Ladybug, Chat Noir, and Spider-Man."
"Seriously? They're giving him credit even when he barely did anything!?" Marinete shouted.
"Marinette! You up there!?" She heard her Papa call from downstairs. "We didn't see you come through the front door!"
"Uh, I … used the fire escape! Wanted to get a head start on P.E, you know, since I'm pretty clumsy with physical activity!" She quickly made up the most convenient excuse she had.
"Make sure to pace yourself, you don't need to pull something!" Thankfully, they bought that.
"I have to make sure to remember to not be Ladybug in my own room. Last thing I need is someone snapping a photo of me swinging out of the balcony." Marinette breathed a sigh of relief.
"And although Ladybug was able to undo the damage, many Parisans have noted the lack of civilian concern in the battle, many have claiming Spider-man would've taken them out of harms way before the fight broke out."
"...Are they CRITICIZING me even after I saved the day!?" Marinette pulled on her hair. "I mean I get it, save the people and everything, but shouldn't they be concerned with running away themselves!?" Miraculous cure wasn't an all cure … was it? "...Tikki….DOES the miraculous ladybug bring back the dead?"
"Yes." Tikki answered with a quick nod.
"... And do they remember dying?" Marinette asked after a second of existential dread.
"Yes." She said. "The only exception is if Oblivion gets a hold of them."
"... What happens then?"
"... How existential are you willing to go?" The kwami asked hesitantly.
"...Good point." Marinette sighed, leaning back on her bed. "It gets so frustrating knowing what I can and can't do. I used the cure on the inner demons, and that allowed them to get away. If I try to do more, I might end up causing more problems than I solve."
"The miraculous were meant to do good." Tikki said. "It's just inexperience. You'll get better with time, Marinette. You'll have more focus and you'll get smarter. Doubting yourself now will only hinder that progress."
She sighed again, holding her Kwami tightly. "Thank you Tikki. I hope you enjoyed those baked goods at school, they were all gone when we checked." She noted. "Should I start adding more coffee and cheese to the pastries?"
"No, if you did, then Plaag and Annasi might catch wind and start swarming the bakery." Tikki groaned. "Have you've been face first with cheese and coffee burps? Cause I have, and it's NOT pleasant."
"Yikes, I don't know how you could stand that for five thousand years." Marinette winced.
"Five thousand? I couldn't stand it after five hundred." Her Kwami chuckled. "It only takes patience… that and the one time I switched Annasi's coffee with decaf. That was a fun year." She scratched her giggling Kwami, happy to have someone to talk to about everything going on.