A/N: The following passage describes exactly how I felt at the time I started writing it. Fortunately, at the part where Sasori first starts describing how he feels, I knew I had to take a break and get myself into a better mood so this whole chapter didn't become a meditation on depression. You're welcome.

This chapter is a little later in the day than usual because I had to finish the last half of it this morning. It works well to do it that way, actually. Having it all as one long stretch of writing allows me to keep the same mood for the entire scene. Sorry it's late though.

Sasori was briefly mentioned as being on the phone last chapter. What for? Let's find out!

.

Sasori

Beep.

Laurie's words echoed in Sasori's ears even after the call ended. He wasn't at all sure how to feel about them. Is that a good idea? Do I want to? Do I not want to? Will it help? Am I allowed to?

Sasori bit his lip. That last question was the most worrisome. There was no point in thinking about the idea any more if he would never be able to put it into practice anyway. He had to know the answer to that question before anything else could happen. In order to know that, he would have to find Kakuzu. Step by step, follow the instructions. Yes.

Sasori checked the kitchen, and found Yahiko glowing with happiness while cooking. "I volunteered to make dinner," was his reply to Sasori's question. "I don't know where everyone went after that."

Sasori left him alone and went down the hallway to see if Kakuzu was in his room. Before he got there, he was accosted by Deidara, who wanted to tell him all about some kind of exciting adventure involving Hidan chasing them around, arguments, rationales, and finally a game plan. Sasori raised a hand to make him go away. "Not now, Dei. I have other stuff to be thinking about."

I just wish I had more time. I've been so rushed trying to fix the bicycles after what they did for me, and now this, and it doesn't feel like I have any time to just sit down and concentrate on anything. Slow down! Sasori rubbed the bridge of his nose and wondered how his original had put up with combat, of all crazy things. Maybe combat's not so crazy when you don't give a damn about spilling blood. That was it; his original must not have cared very much about combat. That explained how it could possibly not have been overwhelming.

Only after concluding this did Sasori realize he could have asked Deidara where Kakuzu was. He'd been standing in the hallway thinking by himself for several minutes, too. Sasori shook his head. I really am scrambled. Is this a good time to be making any decision?

He picked up his feet and resumed walking. I don't even remember how Dei reacted to me brushing him off. I feel so...unfocused. The brain doesn't have any ability to feel, but nonetheless I can feel it being off balance. Almost like feeling sick. Sasori sighed. The worst part was, he was pretty sure he should be worried about that, and that he would have been worried if he'd had the ability to concentrate enough. I didn't feel good yesterday, either. I hope I'm not coming down with something.

"Uh huh…" Kisame's voice dripped with razor-edged skepticism. "No way."

"I don't like it either, but he did promise me he'd be careful," Kakuzu answered. "He has a very good record of keeping promises, surprisingly."

"I'm still going to go last, thanks."

Samehada warbled. "You're going last too, Same. Who knows what that thing could do to you?" Samehada warbled again, sounding like a wounded puppy. Kisame relented. "Okay, second to last. I just don't want that thing exploding because of leftover explosive chakra or something."

Sasori would have continued to stand in the door and listen to whatever they were talking about - this is nice and I can't seem to move - but he was spotted by Kakuzu. Kakuzu invited him in to Kisame's room. Sasori took a breath, sighed, then walked in and sat down on the bed beside Kakuzu. He was remarkably tired.

Samehada left his bed in the corner and came over, making all kinds of sounds. Sasori tried to focus on them, but could not. "You okay, Redhead?" asked Kisame.

"I'm having trouble focusing," Sasori answered. "My mind's just kind of swimming with stuff right now." Samehada licked his hand.

"Have you gotten exercise?" Kakuzu asked. "I find that helps."

"I'm not sure." Sasori rubbed his forehead.

The others just looked at each other. What could they possibly do about that?

Maybe talking about it will help focus my mind or something. "It feels a lot like being sick," Sasori elaborated. "Like I can feel my mind not working right. It's like being a little off balance, or not being able to move. I can't move - I can't figure out where to go."

Ah. That was something Kisame and Kakuzu could help him with. "Come on then," Kakuzu declared as he stood up. "Sounds like exercise is just the thing. I'll lead."

Sasori's lips twitched. "Thank you."

.

Five minutes of running in the forest, at night, in the dark, trying not to crash into a tree later, Sasori felt something inside come loose. He came to a sudden stop, skidding on leaves as an alert.

Kisame stopped, and Kakuzu came back. "What is it?" asked Kakuzu.

"Frustration," Sasori said. Finally! Something I recognize! He slapped his hand against a tree. "Do you know what I was thinking about before I got there? I was thinking that I need to find out if I'm allowed to do something Laurie suggested I do. It's not illegal, not immoral, breaks no rules, costs little. The only thing wrong with the idea is that it could maybe, possibly, piss off whatever supernatural forces are governing this batshit little town. Why is that something I need to think about now? Why do I need to get permission from things that shouldn't even exist?" Both of his hands curled into fists.

"Good. Frustration is good." Kakuzu's eyes gleamed. "I'll add to it. Are you aware that the local supernatural forces are also interfering with our Internet?"

Kisame's eyes widened. "Are you serious?"

"How much?" Sasori demanded to know. Kakuzu is right. This is a lot better than that baffled nothingness I felt earlier.

"How can I possibly know that?" Kakuzu asked, in a very subdued tone. "That's our only connection to the world outside this place. How can anyone know what's real anymore? How much of what we know about the so-called real world is accurate?"

Kisame growled. "Are you fucking serious?! That's…! How did you find out?"

Kakuzu crossed his arms. "It's how I found out about the vampires. I searched for, and I quote, 'supernatural activity near me.' Not a single fictional property, conspiracy website, or anything else you'd expect appeared. The first page of results was all about property dealings."

"So either your computer is smart and helpful enough to know what kinds of things you'd be interested in, or… I can't think of anything else. But supernatural forces have to be involved somewhere in there," Sasori concluded.

Kisame growled again. Samehada whimpered. The run had been fun, but now the humans were making themselves feel bad again, and this time they had said that they were doing so on purpose. Why were they doing this on purpose? Kisame patted his shark as he spoke. "The fact that the results you got were altered to be more helpful than usual makes me more suspicious, not less. That's the mark of something trying to convince us to relax and not question it."

Kakuzu nodded. "My thoughts exactly. Also, that little piece of information is what led to my fight with Hidan. Not as helpful as it seems."

Sasori looked up. "Same?"

The shark came down from Kisame's back and came over to him, making curious noises. Sasori crouched down to meet him.

"Do you know why we humans like to make ourselves angry, and afraid, and other things sometimes?"

The shark wriggled and made a series of high-pitched yips. They sounded like Yes! Yes! Yes!

"It's because…" How do I say it? "Because… I guess you could say it's because we don't forget about the past or the future. It takes a lot of concentration, and deliberate training as well, to develop the ability to not think about the past or the future. Otherwise, humans don't forget them. Everywhere we go, we think about the present in terms of how it relates to the past or future."

Samehada rumbled sadly, as if attempting to console him.

Sasori sighed. "Yeah, it is sad. It means that, for people with certain personalities who've had bad things happen to them, it's impossible not to think about bad things happening again. Like Kisame said just now, I can't stop thinking that something is wrong. I do not know everything about what is happening, and therefore I must fear it. Even if I feel happy right now. Because I can't let go of the past, and past experience tells me that things which seem one way can secretly be dangerous, and I could have avoided the danger if only I had known enough about it. I feel comfortable now, but what if these supernatural forces are just like hurtful things in the past? Then, in the future, I might look back on myself now and think I should've been more suspicious and untrusting and angry. I might regret not having felt like that now. That future regret is just as real and comes to mind just as fast as present comfort, and you know how people always react faster to danger than to harmless things. I don't like regret, so I should be angry now, because that'll make it go away." Sasori frowned. "Does that make sense to you? It's a little unclear even to me."

Samehada tilted his head and chirred.

"It's a way of defending myself from a danger I partially invented," Sasori murmured. "And it's better than feeling nothing, which is what I felt before we went running."

Samehada opened and closed his mouth. His teeth clicked softly, but he made no other sound. He didn't really understand. The future couldn't be just as real as now, and the past was gone, so that didn't make any sense. But he could understand that Quiet Human was saying that he thought he was in danger, and being angry would somehow keep the danger away. Same wasn't sure if he could fight a danger so strange, but he wanted to try. He curled himself around Quiet Human as much as he could and made protective noises. He would help fight the danger. The humans didn't need to make themselves so angry because Same was here to keep them safe.

"Thanks." Sasori smiled at the shark. "For listening to me think out loud, I mean. I was using you to help figure out what I think."

Samehada stopped rumbling. What? Humans had the ability to do that? But how? Why didn't he know what he thought already? The shark got off his back and returned to Kisame's, feeling anxious and wanting to whimper. Was it possible that humans were really really different from him and he could never understand?

Sasori stood as soon as Samehada's weight was off him, and found both Kisame and Kakuzu staring at him. His eyes were adjusting to the dark; he found he could see that Kisame looked very confused, and Kakuzu's eyes were narrowed in a way that suggested interest. I need to finish this thought. "What is the point of making ourselves all confrontational? Kisame was talking about these supernatural forces trying to lull us into a false sense of security, but why would they need to? By definition, they're too powerful for us to possibly fight. It was really helpful to get frustrated, because that got me to focus, but I don't see what the point is in getting angry now. It might make you feel safer, but it won't realistically make us actually be safer."

Kisame and Kakuzu glanced at each other, and stayed silent. Sasori saw no need to say more. He leaned against a tree and waited.

It took five seconds for Kisame to crack. "No! I can't do it!" the shark man exclaimed. He shook himself, trying to loosen his extremely tense shoulders. "It's too hard to try to think that everything's fine. I can't relax unless I'm looking out for danger."

Sasori murmured sympathetically. "Possible future dangers look even more real to you than the present, don't they?"

"That's actually a good way of putting it," Kisame mumbled. "I have a constant sense like whatever good thing is happening now isn't real. That's really accurate."

Kakuzu growled. "What good is relaxing and counting our blessings? Those are boring. Waste of time. I would rather be planning for possible emergencies and speculating about how dangerous things are."

Kisame stared. "Seriously? I'm over here approaching an anxiety attack from simply walking through an empty aquarium with Same, and you make out Hidan's scythe to be so dangerous just because you're bored?!"

"I am genuinely mistrusting of that thing."

"Oh, yeah, the same way you were having such a terrible time yesterday at that prank party?"

Kakuzu immediately generated an aura of rage. "You said you wouldn't speak about that!"

"And I didn't expect you of all people to do your best to worsen a paranoia I don't want to have, but I guess you didn't bother to find out how I felt about that," Kisame shot back.

"What's the big deal about being properly paranoid?"

"It isn't proper! I do not want to be having anxiety attacks for no reason!"

Kakuzu roared. It was a fearsome, bearlike roar that definitely took the place of scary words. Kisame leaped backwards into a defensive fighting stance out of reflex. Sasori found himself sizing up the situation in his head. My best bet would be to flee. Right now, neither is focused on me. I can easily -

"You call being led around by the nose in ways I don't understand 'no reason'?" Kakuzu snarled once he had recovered the ability to speak in words.

Kisame, too, found himself evaluating the situation. Kakuzu's skin-hardening technique could break metal, they were in a semi-confined space, and there was no water nearby. A fight was a really bad idea. "I thought you said it was just more interesting."

Kakuzu realized his hand was covered in hardened skin. He actually possessed the ability to kill one of his best friends, easily and quickly. That thought was like a bucket of ice water applied to his head. "It is more interesting to think of all the ways something seemingly harmless could be dangerous. It is also good practice and makes it more reassuring to deal with the things I see as dangerous. I don't see any value in counting blessings, either for practical reasons or for entertainment."

Kisame snorted. "So you have a choice and use it, repeatedly, in front of me when I don't? Very considerate!"

"How did this happen when all I wanted to know was 'Is it safe to turn the auto shop into a bike shop'?"

The aura of tension in the air froze in place, like a rubber band about to snap. Both of the would-be combatants turned their eyes on Sasori. Oh shit. "What?" Kakuzu asked.

"Laurie got an idea earlier today." Sasori backed away as far as he could and tried not to make any sudden moves. "She wants to do what any decent person would do, regardless of what kind of asshole our boss is. It's really noble, I guess. She thinks that means I should offer him an olive branch and make a deal of some kind, take the shop for myself. He'd go away and not bother us again, he'd get whatever he gets out of the deal, and she thinks everything will come out well and nobody will have things on their conscience."

Kakuzu blinked, and Kisame relaxed somewhat. Sasori allowed himself to believe he'd successfully defused the situation, and was not going to be attacked. Thank whoever there is to thank for that.

"Why are you concerned that doing so would piss off supernatural forces?" Kakuzu asked.

"Because it's the only auto shop in town and Deidara thinks we're in a video game where we have to have one of everything," Sasori explained. "It does seem very strange that we have just one of everything except gas stations. What if that design is on purpose, and interfering with it would have consequences?"

Kisame tilted his head. "Is there already a bicycle repair place?"

"Don't think so," Kakuzu said cautiously. "Obviously there is a place to get bicycles from, and they have basic repair services, but not of the kind that could deal with the tangle Sasori's been fixing."

"It's probably okay to replace one with one," Kisame ventured.

"I wouldn't bet on that. Ask Hidan," Kakuzu said.

"That's why I was trying to find you earlier. Where is he?"

Both Kisame and Kakuzu stared at him. "In his room," Kakuzu answered. That answer took all of a second to say. Had the three of them really ended up in a nearly-fatal fracas out in the forest, all for a question with such a simple answer?

Sasori shrugged. "Okay." There was silence, except for crickets. That's all the answer I wanted, and someone almost got badly hurt because of it. That's...kind of darkly hilarious.

More silence. More crickets. An owl might have hooted some distance away.

"...Pretend this never happened?" asked Kisame.

Sasori said nothing. Kakuzu thought about it. "No," he decided. "Let's not."

Kisame blinked at him. Kakuzu growled and shook himself, unhardening the skin on his hand. He held it out. "Sorry."

Kisame's whole back relaxed. His shoulders and face slumped noticeably, causing Samehada to squeak in joy. After a second, he took Kakuzu's hand. "Me too. I did say I wouldn't tell anyone."

"And I won't tell anyone you can be a huge wuss sometimes," Kakuzu said. He turned sharply to Sasori, causing the redhead to search for escape routes. "Deal?"

Sasori nodded. "For you guys? Yeah."

They all pretended nothing had happened to everyone else, though. Such deals were not for everyone to join in. Kisame even asked Samehada not to make any reference to his life ever having been in danger. The shark understood humans well enough to agree.

.

Sasori poked his head into Hidan's room to find the albino gathering blankets and regretfully laying his scythe to one side. Heavy blankets and scythe did not mix. "Hey."

"Hmm?" Hidan looked up. "What?"

"Am I allowed to take over the auto shop and turn it into a bicycle clinic?" Sasori asked.

"Yeah."

"Thanks. Good night."

.

The next day, Sasori stopped by the auto shop to issue a sincere apology to the bicycles still there awaiting rescrewing or new parts or new equipment to fix the parts that Sasori currently couldn't fix. "I will have to take at least an hour off today," he told them and Laurie, who was beaming. "If I am successful, you guys will have a much more stable repair situation in the future."

Laurie hugged him on his way out, when they were away from the bicycles. "Thank you," she whispered. "It's really been wearing on me. I couldn't tell myself that sending a card was enough. Especially not after what you told me about his money situation. I can't be the sort of person who would leave someone to that."

Sasori hugged her back. "Hey, don't worry. It's fine. I can muster one last session of letting him slide off my back like a duck. I'd gladly do that to make you feel better. Besides, practical thought would tell me I shouldn't waste this opportunity. Letting his stay in the hospital accomplish only one thing for us would be a sin of inefficiency."

Laurie squeezed him tighter. "I'm not really a fan of the selfish approach, but I think I can live with the way you twist it." Then she let go. "I'm sorry I can't go with you. I guess someone has to stay here as long as it's open, but… Being in the hospital is the sort of thing that must change a person, right?"

Sasori took his phone out of his inner pocket and replaced it in his outer. "I'll make a special recording."

"Thank you."

Sasori nodded. "Do you want to hear something that just occurred to me?"

"What?"

"I wonder if this is similar to how Deidara feels, like marching off to war."

.

Being in the hospital is the sort of thing that must change a person. Sasori thought about those words, playing them over and over in his mind as he rode toward the hospital. He could not decide what they were. Were they ominous words, or comforting ones? Bad, or good? If the man was his same old self it would be unpleasant business as usual, but if he was any different, Sasori would not know how to deal with that. The idea made him nervous.

As arranged that morning, he called Kakuzu as soon as he reached the hospital parking lot. "Hey. I'm here. Is everything ready on your end?"

Kakuzu chuckled. After seeing what a chuckle like that meant, Sasori was very glad not to be the one it was meant for. "As ready as I'll ever be. She unbricked one of the money blocks, so I have plenty of cash on hand. It might be enough to bail him out of his situation or at least let him live on the run for a little while longer...if he accepts the deal."

"I'll need specifics, please."

"I've done some research on plane prices. If he already has a visa, which I can't be sure he is smart enough to, then this is more than enough to board a plane and disappear across the ocean."

"Jesus, how dense are those bricks? Do they all have the structural integrity of metal?"

"Better than metal, and yes. As far as I can tell, all of them are the same."

"She could be deadly with those things! Be careful not to get on her bad side; she may use that as an ironic attack," Sasori warned. "But enough stalling. Wish me luck."

"I don't believe you need me to wish you a damn thing." *beep*

Oddly enough, hearing that did more to settle Sasori's heart than any amount of well wishes would have. Hell of a compliment. Maybe it's accurate. That and a deep breath provided all the courage an engineer could need.

Sasori elected to carry his helmet in with him, and wear his motorcycle gear. It was heavy and hot, and who knows how much worse it would be indoors, but it was also armor and would make him look imposing. Could give me the upper hand. He walked up to the receptionist, put his best concerned face on, and asked for the name of his boss.

She took a few seconds to pull up records on her computer. "Relation?"

"Employee."

The receptionist blinked, clearly unused to that answer. "Not usual...but he's cleared for general visitation. Alright. O227 - number 200s are on the second floor, 'O' is for osteology. Would you like directions?"

"As long as there are signs, I can manage," Sasori replied pleasantly. Receptionists tend to be nice people. It's always a pleasure talking with one. "Thank you very much."

The quiet and sterile environment of the hospital worked further to sooth his remaining nerves as he walked. Sasori may have walked a little slower than he usually would as he meandered from sign to sign, looking for Osteology. As usual, I forgot to factor in little things like 'environment.' I should think more about things like that. Let's just hope being in a hospital has a similar effect on him as on me.

It did not. Sasori peered in the door at an angle when he got to it, wishing not to be seen. The manager had visible casts on, even beneath his blankets. The weight of those things alone must make them feel just like prisoner's shackles. Sasori realized the plain lighting and unadorned walls felt rather soothing, bot only when he had some other task to put his mind to. How must it feel to not have such a task? To not have anything to put his mind to except for wondering how doomed he was? To not be able to distract himself with so much as a photo on a wall?

Sasori backed out of sight of the door and sighed. I can't believe I'm having thoughts like this about my boss, of all people. But Laurie would want me to. He's a man trapped in the hospital, after all. Sasori raised his hand to his phone, pulled up the recording app, and silently turned it on. I need to thank her. She doesn't know what she does for me. I guess I do need to be reminded of more human concerns sometimes. A shiver went up his spine. Original Sasori had not been human. How much did Clone Sasori really have keeping him from being like that? I'll thank her the very second I get out of here. He walked in.

The manager, who had been looking despondent and unhappy before, put on an angry and mean face as soon as he saw Sasori. But was that also disbelief? A hint of fear? Sasori chose to believe it was. He could see no harm in being too kind to someone and treating them too humanely, under these circumstances. He did not walk up very close, stopping a good several feet from the manager's bed.

In addition to the casts, the man also had an IV line in his right arm, bandages on his head, bruises in most of the areas that weren't covered by bandages, and he breathed very shallowly, as if his ribs couldn't stand to expand very far. He was not in good shape, and he plainly knew it. He glared at Sasori. "Here to gloat?"

"No." I guess I shouldn't be surprised he'd expect that of me. It might be something he would do himself. What can I say that he'll understand? Laurie's concerns about humanity fell away from Sasori's mind. Those words would not be understood, but the language of practicality might be. Sasori shifted the helmet higher in his grip so that he could stuff both hands in the pockets of his jacket. The heat was building up inside and Sasori was aware of sweating freely into his shirt, but the casual appearance would be worth it. "I find myself in a bad situation, a place that I don't want to be in. I wish to get out of it."

The manager moved the arm without the IV over his stomach protectively. "What does that have to do with me?"

"This is the easiest way," Sasori explained.

The manager furrowed his brow, wincing slightly as some bandages were pulled. "Get to the friggin' point."

Sasori took his hands out of his pockets. "I want to make a deal. The shop, in exchange for some help. I understand you're also in a situation."

He expected the manager to get even more defensive, but the opposite happened. The man's face went slack, his defenses crumbling. He didn't expect me to know about that, Sasori realized. The manager tried to maintain something, but he couldn't stop the helplessness creeping over his face. Sasori averted his eyes.

"I can't do much," he began, without thinking. What? Why did I say that?! Dammit! The practical side of him that just wanted to achieve his goals was angry at him for saying such a stupid thing. The human side of him, though, felt as though he really couldn't do nearly enough. Merely surviving on the run somewhere, desperately trying to flee like some prey animal wasn't how anyone should live, it argued. Sasori keenly felt the conflict between these two parts of himself, and just hoped it wouldn't lead to too much trouble. "But I have access to a helpful amount of money. Enough to get out of the country, if you want to go that far. I also have some friends that can keep you safe. Transfer ownership rights to me, recover, get the hell away from here as soon as you can, and my situation will be over and done with. It's the easiest way I can think of."

He couldn't see the manager's face because his eyes were still averted, but there was silence. Sasori hoped that meant he was thinking it over. Every word I said was really true. It may cost some, but all I want is for this to be the last time we ever speak. I just want everything to be over and not have to think about it anymore! This really is the easiest and fastest way to that. I hope he agrees. Gods above, I hope he takes the deal.

After a long few minutes. the manager snorted. Sasori took that as a cue to stop averting his eyes. The man now looked almost...normal. Not particularly defensive or hostile, and not broken either. The way he looked up at Sasori cautiously and a little suspiciously was well within the bounds of normal. "Why would you want the shop?" he asked.

Sasori glanced aside. I can't tell him the bicycles that sent him here are friends of mine. But I can truthfully say… "Have you ever wondered why I didn't quit?" he asked. He decided to allow some anger into his voice. "Or take more vacations? Days off? More action of any kind? Have you ever wondered why I bothered?"

The manager's face started to harden again. Sasori switched to a different kind of passion. "It's because I love my job. I like to work with machines. It's what I do." Sasori searched for somewhere to put his helmet down. He was overheating and getting passionate wasn't helping. "I rarely took days off because I could never figure out what to do with them. I want to fix things, work with things. It's what I do." He fixed the manager with a hard stare. "That's what allowed me to stand up to your assholery, day after day after day." Then he looked away and, in a neutral whisper, said, "It's also why I want the shop now. I like working there."

Sasori cut himself off before he could say any more. That was enough. He put his helmet down on a table to the side, presumably meant for visitors to put their things down on, and wished for this talk to be over. He knew his face had to be red from the heat. Was a slight advantage in negotiations worth it if he collapsed from heatstroke on the way out?

More silence while the manager thought. Sasori was not nearly as comfortable this time, and fought to keep himself neutral and approachable. Sympathetic thoughts were not leaping into his mind now, no matter how hard he tried to summon them. Just take the deal already. Take the deal and let me get the hell out of here. Breezes. I need air. This stuff is only supposed to be worn while I'm moving. Just take the deal!

Thankfully, Sasori had made the right choice of language to use. The manager was pretty sure he understood now. The disobedient boy who never listened to him hated him, and didn't want him around. That made sense - he'd never liked the sort of person who would stare at him with cold, unblinking eyes either. Fuckin' boy was creepy. Never could tell what he'd do. But the creepy kid really liked machines - that also made sense, because he looked just like them. Such cold eyes! The lady at the front desk was nice and normal; she knew her place. But Sasori? Not even the boss knew if he had a place, and that was against the natural order of things.

As much as giving anything up would sting, would make him look pathetic, he already looked pathetic. Would giving up the shop make creepy robot-boy go away? If so, that'd be a relief. He could always call it a bribe or a buy-off if anyone asked.

"Sure. I can get papers and sign 'em." Almost too late, but fortunately just in time, the boss remembered that he could still ask for more. "But not before ya show me the cash!"

"Deal," Sasori said instantly. Yessssss! "I'll be by in the afternoon. Is that enough time to get papers?"

"Sure." The manager now had a look on his face that Sasori had never seen before. It was like a combination of multiple things: wariness, defensiveness, fear, and others. One of the others looked like...relief? The manager was looking away from Sasori, too. Despite the heat, Sasori brought his grumpy thoughts to a halt and focused, trying to understand. Does he want this deal to be over as much as I do?

That hardly made sense. Who was the one that always came in, forcing the two of them face to face? Who was the one who couldn't just let them work separately? If it was up to him, Sasori would rather not have known what his boss looked like. So why, now, would the most confrontational person he had ever met suddenly back away from a confrontation? It made no sense. But it was the only explanation Sasori could think of. It was the only thing that could make any sense.

Why? He had never really thought about this question. Why? Why yell at me? Why treat me that way? Just why? Deidara had asked this question before. He had asked it several times over, trying to explain to Sasori why he should look for something better, that he did not have to work in a place that was probably breaking all kinds of regulations. Deidara said that as if it meant something. Sasori now realized all at once that it did. Those regulations were meant to be fair. It wasn't right or fair that he should be yelled at when he did not deserve any of it.

"Okay. This afternoon it is," he said in a wavering voice. "But before I go, why?"

The manager glanced at him.

"What was all the yelling, and looming, and cutting breaks, what was all of it for?" Sasori asked. He stared at the boss with bewilderment. "Why?"

The manager crossed both arms over his ribs. He looked like he was trying his best to shrink back into the bed. "You're fuckin' creepy," he admitted. "You always have cold, dead eyes, just like the cars you love so much. Creepy boy. The front desk lady knew what she was, 'n that's good. Where she belonged. You?" The manager looked at Sasori now with naked revulsion. Disgust. Bewilderment. Hate. "You never looked like a person no matter what. What the hell are you?"

Sasori's lips tightened. I don't know. "I'm trying to figure that out myself," he said. "When I do, you'll never know. The only people who will know are the people that have always been kind to me, no matter what I am."

He felt on the verge of tears after saying that. Before they could show, he turned, scooped up his helmet, and left. He traced his footsteps to find his way out, and tried to let the clean, sterile hallways calm him. They could not. What am I? How human am I? How much like a machine?

This talk wasn't...quite what he had hoped for or expected.

.

A/N: I actually did some research for this chapter! I asked someone in a comments section on the Internet what would be involved in transferring ownership of a business from the former owner to an employee of that business. Their answer, simplified down to a form that wouldn't be extremely boring to read in a fantasy story, mentioned legal proceedings and money changing hands. Close enough! (This was after they had demonstrated some knowledge of legal proceedings involving transferring ownership, so it wasn't just a random nobody.)

I have spent the past two days, before writing everything after the scene with Hidan, reading a book on conversations and how to have better ones. It was really all about empathy and how to more effectively connect with other people, which of course conversation is a way of doing. That book has changed my life, and it's probably the greatest reason I showed the manager's viewpoint in this chapter, and expect it to influence future chapters as well. The book is called We Need To Talk, by Celeste Headlee. I am terrible at remembering that other people have had different life experiences than I have, and generally struggle to do anything that could be called "connecting" with others. This book was like the answer to every question I ever had. It not only tells you what the problem is, but offers advice, too! I have actual strategies I can use to try to fix my problems now! Yay!

Sasori is so cool!