A/N: Firstly, a note that belongs on the previous chapter but could not go there for obvious mood-related reasons:

On chapter 9, The Pact, the end note referred to Konan and Yahiko not getting along as the "conflict storyline" and mentioned that it wouldn't go dormant until two in-story weeks from then. THAT WAS VERY BAD. Stupid. I shouldn't have done that. I've regretted that note for 70 chapters because, as I soon discovered, I actually have no way of knowing how fast anything is going to happen in this story. If I didn't have a handy little plot device called a "workweek" to keep them apart most days, it would not have lasted two weeks. Thank the gods, my prediction managed to actually come true, but it was not a good prediction. I still regret making it in the first place.

Also notice that the original note said "go dormant," not "end." That part is accurate. Still got underlying issues to address, after all.

Also, I think I figured out a justification for that thing I mentioned in the end note for chapter 30, The Execution, regarding a pronoun policy conflicting with my desire to avoid spoilers. I've gone the route of avoiding spoilers, but now I'm pretty sure that technically I haven't violated the pronoun policy either. The policy is...to be revealed many, many chapters from now.

Now, while Yahiko proves himself against the forces of self-destruction, what are some other characters up to? Let's find out!

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Hidan

Sensation. Cold. A caress. Left. Right. Feet, toes. Cold. A cold caress. Head waving left then right. Feet brushing something. Something gritty. Soft. Gritty and soft. Gritty and soft, on the toes, which were connected to the feet, which were connected to the head and head and toes are...the same. Body. The body is in water. The water is a...a lake.

It was fun to watch the body sway back and forth in the water, feel it. It was so interesting. It felt hypnotic. Everything felt hypnotic, but that fact was not recognized. Recognizing it would have required having the brainpower available to recognize oneself as being hypnotized. Due to being hypnotized, that much brainpower was not available.

There was only the water, and a body lying in the water, various parts of it swaying back and forth in the currents flowing through the bottom of the lake. There was cold where the current washed heat away, and pleasant warmth where the water was still. The heart beat even though the lungs lay still, empty, collapsed. That was fine. Breathing was not needed; the swaying of the water worked just as well.

It was all fine, all good. When the hypnosis lifted, it was very upsetting. Hey. Who? Who - oh. Me. The body belongs to me. I'm here. Hidan opened his eyes.

Aw man. I like that drifting and shit. Now I have things to think about. It was alright, though. That was the way of the world. Things changed but were always somehow good, no matter what form they took. Hidan lifted his arms, pushed down off the lake bottom, and swam to the top.

He climbed out of the lake, felt the shock of air on his wet skin, took a pleased breath, and laughed at how good that felt, too. It was really good to breathe! He shivered in delight. Aw fuck yeah! A breeze brushed over his back, chilling him there. It felt good!

Hidan took a few steps out of the lake and shook himself, feeling his wet hair flop back and forth and air brush over his bare back. The air was like ice because it dried the water on his back, stealing away his body heat. Hidan's mind felt the same way. His thoughts were clear and directional, he was bright and alert and awake, he was not confused or distracted at all. What's more, he always emerged from the lake with a different perspective on the world. Soon enough, he would be as he usually was, but for now he enjoyed a much larger perspective.

Hidan looked up at the trees and saw how they were part of the ground and part of the air, how the sun too was a part of them. The air and the ground and the sun were a part of him, too. I am just like they are. They are just like everything is. Hidan remembered that all life on earth came from plants, which meant it all came from the sun, the air, the earth, and water. The ancient philosophers were right. In a way, those really were the four elements that made up the whole world. Everything descended from them. The world, no matter how Hidan looked at it, looked very much the same.

It felt good to see and understand things this way. Hidan felt connected to the world, unalone. It was as if everywhere he looked, there were friends. Hey guys. Hidan raised a hand to wave at the trees, which dipped in the breeze as if waving back. They might have been genuinely waving back; Hidan didn't know and didn't need to know. He left them to their business and turned away, lowering himself onto his belly to let the air and sun dry him.

When he was dry enough, he rose and went to the tree where he had taken off his cloak and folded it, not wanting to get it wet. He put the cloak back on, shivering in delight at how warm it was and how good it felt. Everything felt so much better after soaking in the lake, even the things that had already been very good. He felt so much more alive!

Hidan shuffled back and forth as he adjusted his cloak, put his scythe on his back, the works. It was too bad about his pants. He didn't like to take those off in the lake, so they always had to be changed. And my thoughts were all sliding before, so I didn't remember to bring a pair to change into. Rats. Now that the rest of him was dry, the fact that his legs were on the edge between being wet and dry was very annoying and did not feel right. At least they were warm from his body heat.

He looked up. The sky was fading, its blue color disappearing. The lake was already in shadows. It was mostly the moving air that had dried him. The trees waved more insistently as the change of temperature kicked up wind.

Hidan stood still, watching. The sky was beautiful when it was like this. He felt, too, his own weight adjusted in a very pleasant way, and did not wish to change his posture just yet. That left him with nothing to do but watch and think. Like magic, a thought he had not heard in at least a decade hopped into his head.

I wonder if the demon kid could use a hug.

Hidan had not really thought about the demon boy in those terms since discovering him. He couldn't remember how long ago that had been, but at some point he had discovered the demon kid for the first time, and had felt bad for him. Hidan frowned. Didn't he look older back then? I really should ask him what's up with his aging. Yes, the demon boy had been older, but still young-looking. Hidan had wondered what was up with this other boy who, like him, had no family and seemed to be feral, but unlike him, did not have even a Kakuzu to play with. The boy seemed to be in a worse position than he was. But then Hidan had learned the kid was a demon, at about the same time that he had seen the boy create a large animal out of darkness and run it into a major intersection to cause a car accident or three. The demon had laughed at the panic and the scurrying of humans. All sympathetic thoughts had fled Hidan's head then, and he hadn't thought of the demon as being anything like a human child since.

But now, Hidan felt very similar to every other lifeform on the planet, and thought differently. The demon boy had once caused an accident just for his own entertainment, yes, but Hidan couldn't remember the last time anything like that had happened. This world of sun and air and other nice things didn't cater to demons, so his trouble-causing uses of power went nowhere and changed nothing, made no lasting impact. Out of sheer boredom, the boy had been forced to become more like a being of sun and air and earth and less like a demon. He'd even grown a conscience at some point and started taking care of ghosts and the little snake kid. Hidan looked down, disappointed at himself. Wasn't he upset sometime recently, too? I didn't even think about that. Maybe he's a real kid now, not just pretending to be one.

Hidan raised his head and called out, "Hey, jerk!" into the darkness.

The incredibly faint sound of footsteps landing on dirt came from his right. "Yi?" The boy stood there, hands tucked behind his back as if he was a personal attendant standing at attention. His eyes being closed in happy little curves as he grinned spoiled that image, though. It was possible to see his smile through his mask, even in the fading light. He opened his eyes and stared at Hidan with childlike curiosity.

He sure acts more like a real kid now. Hidan stepped back and took off his scythe. He propped it up against the tree, head down, and sat against the tree. "Come here." He held up his right arm.

The demon tilted his head quizzically, but did so. He curled up with his arms around his knees, leaning into Hidan's side. "Why?"

Hidan put his arm around the boy's shoulders and squeezed him lightly. "Dunno. You just seem more like a real kid all of a sudden. I started wondering if you'd like a hug."

"Hmm…" The demon boy's eyelids fell from wide awake into drowsy position. "I deem this acceptable."

Hidan looked down at his messy white hair. Why'd I never think about giving him a hug before? Is it because I can't feel what he feels? Like if I can't feel his feelings, I don't think about them? That's kind of shitty. "How are ya?"

The demon boy adjusted Hidan's hand until his arm bent in a wide curve, across the boy's shoulder blades and bending at the elbow so that his hand rested on the boy's knee. "I pranked a guy today. Bought a watermelon and left Monopoly money for him, but get this: it was actually real money! I stole it from somebody's wallet."

"Whose wallet?"

"Who cares?"

"Was it Kakuzu's?"

The demon boy stopped moving and blinked. "Darn! It will be next time!"

"No fucking way," Hidan snapped. "You are not allowed to steal from Kakuzu. You are totally allowed to replace all of his money with looks-like Monopoly money though."

The demon boy turned so that he could hold Hidan's arm close while leaning back into Hidan's side. "Okay!"

Hidan used his left hand to pat the boy's head. "You're a nice kid."

The demonic child tilted his head back to stare in confusion. "Rar?"

"Don't contradict me."

The boy looked back down and shuffled backward. Hidan squeezed him once. The boy tucked in his head, folding around Hidan's arm.

Hidan was feeling quite guilty and wondering how long the demon boy had been like this and how he'd never noticed it when he suddenly felt a strong, sad longing. He wasn't surprised to find the snake boy standing only a few feet to his left holding his white snake toy and wordlessly staring. Hidan lifted his left arm, inviting him in.

The toddler came and curled up into a little ball like the demon boy had first done, leaning sideways into Hidan's side. The longing abated, and Hidan felt sleepy.

These are nice kids.

He yawned and pushed himself to stay awake for their sake.

Nagato

Nagato listened to Itachi's story with growing astonishment. "You really put yourself through all that just to be less afraid?"

Itachi nodded. "I wished to."

"If you say so." Nagato shrugged sympathetically. "But I don't think you had to. Maybe it really isn't a good idea to hang out in public when you don't need to."

"It's not that," Itachi answered. "I agree that perhaps a gas station was never a wise choice for safety. However, the bar is quite nice. I enjoy being there, especially with friends. I liked being there the night that Hidan was hurt, and want to be able to go there again. I don't want my life to shrink that far because of a single incident."

"When the 'single incident' is a brush with death, nobody can blame you for it," Nagato repeated. "But alright. If you need to do this for yourself, I shouldn't try to talk you out of it."

"What are you doing for yourself?" Itachi asked. He sat down in the chair behind the lobby desk to listen.

Nagato looked away, turning red. "Not much."

"What have you been doing?"

Nagato turned even redder. "Reassuring Yahiko. Trying to make him feel better, more confident, things like that. Ever since Konan mentioned that she would be training him today a few days ago, my own needs have been on the back burner."

"Be sure to take them off when he's done," Itachi instructed. "Is he in training now?"

"Yeah."

"How is it?"

Nagato heard the real question. How do you feel? Just like before, when Yahiko had told him about really seeing the bush as they sat on a park bench, a surge of unexpressed need came out of nowhere. He lifted himself off the desk and turned around to sit against the wall behind the desk. Thank you, Itachi. You have no idea how much I apparently needed that. "So, so many ways."

Nagato was surprised at how much poured out of him. He started listing all of his fears about how Yahiko would be affected by Konan's idea of training, but ended up detouring into things he actually had not realized existed before. He was surprised to learn, for instance, that he really wanted an older sibling and always had. Since when have I wanted someone to look out for me that badly? It makes sense with my parents dead… But then how did I not know? He was also surprised to learn that he was a little frightened by his own powers. Furthermore, talking to Hidan was intimidating. What? But he's the least threatening guy I've ever met! He turns female just to make me more comfortable!

Nagato answered himself by wondering aloud, "How is he that confident about everything? He literally feels other people's feelings for himself, yet he never puts what he wants on the back burner for too long and he never worries what anyone else is going to think of him. Well, except for…" None of my business to share. "But mostly, he just...casually mentions that he won't be able to fight the succubus in either form in front of everybody, as if it's completely unimportant. He didn't even understand when I tried to show him consideration after he got the ability to turn female, as if that was unimportant too. What kind of superconfident being is he?"

"Hmm." Itachi looked blankly at the wall, thinking. Nagato took advantage of the break to breathe and sort himself out some. Itachi eventually answered, "He knows himself well."

Nagato looked up. "How does that make things less important?"

"Because he has already done all the thinking he needs to do," Itachi said. "They don't occupy his attention anymore because they don't need to. He takes himself for granted. Normally taking things for granted is said to be a bad thing, but in this case, I don't think it is. Because he takes himself for granted, he is able to turn his back trusting that he will be there for himself. He does not need to worry. He knows exactly what's there."

Nagato looked down at himself. "You're right," he murmured. "He says things like they're old news, while I… I looked in a mirror when we were over at the campground two days ago, and I was shocked by what I saw. I've never seen myself like that. It's not old news to me, it's new news. That's why it was so…" He shuddered. I didn't know I had that in me.

Itachi left the chair and sat down next to him. "You only need time, then. Self-discovery and time will help."

"Yeah." Nagato struggled to take a deep breath. It felt like something was trying to burst out of him. He was instantly afraid of what it might be. "Itachi?"

"Yes?"

"Do you think staying at Yahiko's side the way I do is a good idea?"

Nagato listened to the echo of his words with shock. What?! He's my best friend, the most important person to me, and me to him. We're lifemates, people who share a life. How can being with him be a bad idea? He's not… How mean of me to even ask that! He is valuable and awesome and good and all of those things I said he is. "N-nevermind. I don't even know why I asked that. Forget it."

"No." Itachi said that calmly, surely. "I will not. To be honest, I've been wondering the same."

Nagato gaped. "You have?"

"Yes." Itachi closed his eyes. "You are always at his side, even when he is not around. You two complete each other well. Perhaps a little too much."

Nagato swallowed and said nothing. Like the moon, shining with reflected light, not my own. Didn't I kind of think that when I joined this group, anyway? That it would be good to get away from him a little, broaden my dating pool? He felt so very guilty to be thinking that way. There was nothing wrong with Yahiko. Wasn't it mean to think such things about him?

Nagato shook his head. "Yahiko isn't… Isn't bad."

"I never said he was." Itachi opened his eyes and put a comforting hand on Nagato's shoulder. "You aren't either, despite the fact that he seems uncertain of his own abilities when you aren't around. Neither of you is a bad person because of this."

What?! "...He does?"

"I have the feeling he needs to ask questions too," Itachi said. "Everybody does. And there is nothing wrong with those questions being private ones, ones that can't be asked in the presence of another. You aren't bad for him just because he has his own needs. Some quests cannot be shared, and that's alright. It's normal to be afraid of such quests too; I think most people are. That means the problem is fear, not each other. Acknowledging that you have to struggle alone but haven't started to yet does not say anything about him at all. It only says things about yourself, about your own fear. He's just what you happen to be clinging to for security."

Nagato started to cry and couldn't be sure why. My own fear? Am I afraid? I… Yes. I can't even use the exact words in my own thoughts, nevermind to others yet. I am scared of it. If I'm around him, I get to put it all on him. He's just that amazing, that captivating. It's his own qualities that make me feel this way, not mine. I don't have to think about myself at all. "You're right. I'm sorry, it's just *sniff* you are."

"I'm sorry you're struggling," Itachi said.

Nagato's stomach muscles tightened to the point of pain, throwing him forward. He wrapped himself around his knees like a little ball. Nobody had ever said such a kind thing to him. Especially not Yahiko, because Yahiko did not know he was struggling. Nagato felt like there was a lesson to be gained from that but was in too much pain to seek it out. "Thank you," he gasped.

"I wish I could help you find answers, but I can't," Itachi murmured.

"That's okay," Nagato wheezed. Oh gods my throat hurts. "Hidan...he's just like that mirror."

"How so?"

"I see myself when I'm with him," Nagato whispered. "I don't know how. He expresses himself so much, yet looking at him is like seeing all of my own qualities reflected back at me."

Itachi's brow furrowed. "Perhaps I haven't spent enough time with him to see that. I will try to."

"I'm not sure how much you'd gain, but go for it." He's like me, but ever so slightly different in a way that shows me exactly what I'm like now. So confident, which makes it clear how not confident I am. So out in the open and unhidden, like I thought I was before I met him. He doesn't hide anything. "I think it's because I wasn't telling the truth before, even to myself. Because I was telling myself I was okay when I'm not, that I'm not running away when I am. He doesn't hide anything, which makes it so obvious how much I do. I felt differently about myself just from spending a little bit of time with him that first night before Konan showed us her paper jutsu. You don't hide, so you might not see anything you didn't already know about."

"I'm sure I hide some things somewhere." Itachi narrowed his eyes. "My life is a quest to find them and expose them. I should spend more time with him."

Nagato wiped his eyes. "Good luck."

"Thank you."

"I always wondered what was up with you."

"Now you know."

Nagato finished wiping his eyes and looked at his most mysterious of friends. "May I ask why? Why do you want to find out all about yourself?"

"I've always been different from others," Itachi admitted. "More advanced in some ways, leaving me with little understanding in others. It is hard to lose yourself in enjoyment with friends and school and more typical pursuits when you cannot really understand the others there. So I turned inward, seeking to understand what made me different and why that was the case."

Nagato's shoulders slumped. It's because he's lonely? "That sounds so sad."

"Not really." Itachi leaned back against the wall, looking perfectly at ease. "It is sad to me when I hear that other people do not understand themselves. I value myself and my relationship with myself very highly, so such a thing seems like a great lack, an emptiness. From my perspective, now that I am on my own side most of the time, I am in a better position to reach out to others from, and I have others to reach out to. So what have I really missed?"

I can't argue with that. "It still seems bad to think of yourself as something so strange and odd that you have to make a lifelong quest to understand it or you'll never be able to be happy. I can't imagine thinking of myself that way."

Itachi tilted his head slightly. "As strange and odd?"

"Yeah." Nagato shivered. "Maybe not wanting to think of myself that way is part of my problem."

"I'm sorry, but I don't understand what you mean," Itachi said. "I like strangeness and oddness. The more different, the more interesting. I cannot see from your viewpoint."

"I'm having trouble seeing from yours," Nagato replied. "I want to be with people. With Yahiko, and Hidan, and you, and everybody, and not have to wonder anything. To just belong. I don't really want to be exceptional."

Itachi shrugged. "There are different kinds of people. The kind of person you are is just as interesting as the kind I am, and as valuable."

Nagato agreed, and they settled the matter. They both sat in silence to process what had just been said. Nagato was distracted by wondering what Itachi thought after talks like this, but forced his mind back to the subject of Yahiko.

Does Yahiko really seem uncertain without me? Nagato remembered the recent series of pep talks. I guess I do prop him up that way. Does he have anyone else to look at him gratefully? To reflect him back at himself? It's always looked pretty self-evident to me that of course he helps people, that of course he is a good thing in a world of neutral things. Is it not self-evident? Maybe he can't see himself. Oh god, what am I thinking? Of course he can't see himself; nobody can. Does he even know what his face looks like when he smiles? Oh no. He has to know! Nagato regarded Yahiko's smile as one of the wonders of humanity. It was horrible to think of someone never being able to see it.

When Yahiko finally came back out into the lobby, Nagato was glad to see that heart-meltingly adorable small proud smile on his face.

Yahiko opened his mouth to say something.

*flash*

Whatever he was going to say, he replaced with, "Why'd you take a picture of me?"

"Because you can't see yourself and that is a damn shame," Nagato answered. He pulled up the picture on his phone and gave the device to Yahiko. "Here."

Yahiko looked at the picture. His brow furrowed. "Hidan was right; I do look as excited as a young kid."

"That is what I mean when I say I like how you look at the world," Nagato said. "When I look at you all affectionately, that's what I'm looking at." I love you. "That's the look I don't see on anyone else's face." I love you so much and I always have.

Yahiko gave no sign of comprehending the meaning behind Nagato's words. *sigh* But he smiled gratefully. "Really?! Thank you." He looked back down at the picture. "I think I understand so much better now. N...Nagato?"

"Yeah?"

Yahiko blushed faintly and fiddled with his hair as he handed the phone back. "Would you take more pictures of me?"

Nagato smiled. Of course! Anything to help you see who you really are. "As often as you want. Uh, how often is that?"

.

A/N: I had my giant stuffed dog next to me while writing most of Hidan's scene. I don't exactly have experience with small children, so a stuffed dog was the next best thing. I'm getting way more cuddles out of him this year than I have in the whole decade or so since I first selected him from a pile of toys. What a nice puppy!

Itachi's reasons for pursuing himself are, well, mine. Congratulations Itachi, you get to be the mouthpiece this chapter. Woo!

I do not take selfies. I do insist on emailing my teachers all my thoughts about things related to class topics however vaguely, though. Same difference.

Btw, I am taking a class on Buddhism this semester. Turns out some parts of my story are surprisingly Buddhist in nature. A certain scene that was written way before the class started, for example, really embodies the Buddhist idea of no self. It seems as if I just naturally thought of some of the same ideas the Buddha thought of. That is terrifying. I don't wanna talk about it anymore. It's weird enough just to acknowledge that the way I live my life is apparently rather Buddhist and has been this whole time without my knowledge. Creepy!

By all means, selfie takers: keep taking those selfies! And I will see you all next week.