A/N: Submitting this early when it's barely light enough to see my keyboard! Yay!

Mm. Surprisingly lacking words.

See ya in the end notes.

.

Hidan

Hidan watched his two favorite male people in the world as they left to prepare for their adventure. It was incomparably sweet that they were doing so out of a desire to keep him safe and happy. It's time.

He called up an old memory, and it came. Perhaps it was too old to be useful, but he would try it. Hidan grinned as he commanded his phone to call a number he hadn't punched in in years.

He checked on his scythe as the call went through. It was dry. He picked it up, leaning it back so it rested on his shoulder. He involuntarily sighed and relaxed. By the time the person on the other end picked up, he was lying on his bed.

They didn't say anything at first. Hidan started to silently laugh in joy. He had never changed his phone number since he first got one. Does she remember? Then, the person on the other end asked, "Is this who I think it is?," and he started to laugh aloud.

"It's me. Hidan."

"Hidan?" He could hear the smile in her voice. "Hey, how are you?"

"It finally happened. I met some people who really get me, and some of them are cute." He paused. "I don't think all the gyms in the world could help you, though. They're all ninjas. I don't think you could break their arms."

"That's fine," she said while laughing. "That's more than fine. You! What took you so long?"

He forced out, "I'm just a late bloomer," through a grin. Ha. Late bloomer, me? It's so ironic that it makes me laugh to say it! But there was another, equally crucial part to the joke, and that was the fact that Anne was in on it. Laughter was best shared.

"Yeah." Her voice lowered to a soft, caring tone. "You're a lot of things. These people had better look after all of you."

Hidan burst into tears. Ow! What the fuck? Why does that hurt? "They do. Moonlight… And Konan… They're not ever going to leave me, no matter what." That was all he managed to get out before his throat closed too much to talk.

"Hidan? Are you okay?"

"Mm. *sniffle* Yeah. Sorry. Dunno what happened just then."

"Did it feel like getting something you've needed for a long time?"

"Yeah… A lot like that."

"Finally!" Her tone turned more jovial, almost jesting. "Now I can stop wondering if I was doing it wrong."

"What?"

"You know. Setting standards, like you told me to. When I found someone so quickly after raising my standards and you didn't, I thought I hadn't raised them enough."

"Worry not! I'm just super complicated and have a surprisingly hard time bonding with people."

"Really?"

"Well, no. I do have friends. Buddies. Even before I met ninjas, I wasn't doing too badly. Now I have a family! Fucking yes! Lemme tell ya all about them. So there's Kisame…"

*sigh* I missed this.

General

"Oh boy," Nagato sighed. "There goes that part of the plan."

Kakuzu growled. "I will not step into vampire territory without the ability to fly. Especially not when we're planning to give them bad news."

"Perhaps I could assist," Konan offered. She had just finished telling them where Deidara likely was, and they didn't want to disturb him.

"No. The vampires hate people like you and Hidan," Nagato reminded her.

"So what the hell are we going to do?"

"We could just call Deidara and ask him to rush back…" Nagato didn't sound too happy with that. Konan, however, nodded.

Yahiko tried to think of something to say while the others argued. I don't know… Something doesn't feel right. What do I want to do?

Nagato was unsure about interrupting whatever Deidara was doing. This was normally the point where he would turn to Yahiko for guidance. But he paused. Should he try to stand on his own instead?

Kakuzu was getting impatient. Get this over with."What do you think?" he asked Yahiko.

"Um…" Yahiko started to sweat. He had figured out what he wanted to do, and he was sure it was not what others wanted him to do. What should he do? Being more confident in himself, like Nagato and Konan wanted, went directly against other things that they wanted. What to do? What would Hidan say? He would ask what I wanted, apart from what anybody else says. Do I want to believe in myself, or do I want others to be comfortable? What's more important?

"We could just...not have complete backup."

Konan glanced at him sharply. He did his best not to flinch. Why do I want to get in a risky situation with nobody to rescue me, surviving only by my own skill and competence? I shouldn't want that! What's wrong with me?

Nagato opened his mouth to object, but… That sounds appealing. Just the two of us, facing vampires, no rescue waiting. Like heroes in a book.

Kakuzu looked back and forth between the two of them. "You two are really going to act like overgrown teenagers tonight of all nights?"

Nagato and Yahiko glanced at the floor, at each other, shrugged, shuffled. They didn't say anything. That silence itself was an answer.

Konan was not happy with this plan. Her first instinct was to follow them anyway. But no; Nagato was right. That would only enrage the vampires and put them in more danger. Insist they take backup? Leadership by force clearly did not work in this world. At the least, it would strain her newly forming bonds with them.

Why am I even concerned? She did not have to hold back from protecting every pair in the Akatsuki that went out to complete a dangerous mission. Dangerous missions were the only kind of missions they took, and every Akatsuki member was expected to handle themselves. She did not even have to hold back when Pain went out alone. Nagato knew how to control those bodies, how to use all of his techniques efficiently and in a coordinated way. He also was expected to handle himself.

But these clones were different. Kakuzu was right to refer to them as children. She did feel...protective. No. That is not how I should feel. They are grown men, shinobi, Akatsuki members. They will reach whatever expectations I hold. I should not expect too little, or else they will not become what they should.

It pained her to do so, but her own logic was unassailable. "Very well," she forced out.

Yahiko couldn't believe his ears. She trusts me that much already? I can't prove her wrong, then. His will snapped into ironlike hardness. His mind cleared as he discarded all his worries. There was something much more important to think of now. Wow, I feel really good all of a sudden.

Nagato took a deep breath. "No time like the present." With high hopes, they changed into their Akatsuki cloaks, carefully groomed their appearances so as to look strong, and left.

.

They barely arrived in the same intersection they had used before when the vampire leader met them. Nagato was sure she'd been this early at their previous meeting, too. She just wasn't hiding herself or spooking them this time. It had to be a good sign that she was being straightforward with them. Right?

Her guards joined her. The same older man from before was with her, and in place of the two younger ones, she had one reasonably mature adult with a kitten on his shoulder. Nagato gasped at the sight. That was the kitten from the demon boy's story! He immediately felt so much more confident, just because he had something familiar.

The leader wasted no time. "Have you thought about what we discussed?"

"Yes," Nagato replied. If she respects us enough to be straightforward, I ought to show the same respect back. "We cannot do what you asked."

Her body grew tense and hard. Ready to attack. The dangerous part was beginning. "Why not?" she asked delicately. So delicately. Like Konan. Shivers ran up Nagato's back.

"As I recall…" Avoid misunderstandings. Absolutely have to avoid misunderstandings! "You asked us to help you drive away Jashin sama by destroying the symbol and breaking Hidan's connection to him. We've learned more about Jashin sama's presence here, and it looks like neither of those things are possible. If we even tried, horrible things would happen, and there's no way we'd succeed. We would be better off learning to live with it."

Her eyes narrowed. "Of course. Cowardly humans. You don't have the stake in this that we do. Why should you care?" Whatever respect they had in her eyes was dropping like a rock.

"We learned something else," Yahiko said. "Something big. You shouldn't try to fight off Hidan or get rid of Jashin sama, either. It's dangerous for you, too. We're in the same position."

The leader turned swiftly. Her eyes penetrated him. They said, You are ridiculous. You are weak. You cannot change my mind. Yahiko already believed these things. His new resolve began to wilt.

Nagato pulled Yahiko behind him, shielding him. "He's right. Listen. Do you remember the prophet you mentioned last time? Well, Hidan is a prophet too."

All the vampires straightened. The kitten looked around, expecting someone who needed to be attacked. The leader's eyes lost their sharpness. "How do you know this?" she asked.

"A demon, an incubus, told us," Nagato replied. "He said that prophets are beings that are connected with gods, and have strange powers as a result of that. The kinds of powers that only a prophet can have. He took one look at some messages where we talked about instructions appearing on sheets of paper put beneath Hidan's head, and said Hidan had to be a prophet."

"Instructions…?" the leader asked warily.

Yahiko blinked his head clear. What happened? I shouldn't lose faith in myself. Konan trusts me. His resolve rehardened. "Yeah. That's how Konan installed the symbol in the first place. She got some blank sheets of paper and put them beneath his head while he was sleeping, and instructions appeared. I think Kakuzu was trying to get more instructions, maybe to keep the symbol from reaching him. He's been really unhappy since it was installed."

If the vampire leader had had blood flow, she would have paled. "He is the one who guided the creation of that cursed thing?"

"Yes." Nagato mentally kicked himself. If we had mentioned this before, she would have recognized the signs! All this pressure could have been avoided. "He is the only one who isn't affected by it. That's probably just because of his memory problems, but…"

Her gaze sharpened. "Memory problems?" Her eyes pierced Nagato's soul. They said, You will tell me everything.

Nagato found himself saying, "Yeah, he doesn't remember things. Sometimes he says things that he couldn't know, and he doesn't remember saying them, nor anything to do with Jashinism. He can't stand to hear about anything too close to his situation."

She stepped back. "By all the gods. It's true."

Nagato and Yahiko waited uncomfortably. It seemed like she was on the path to convincing herself. It would be a good idea, less dangerous, to let her do that uninterrupted.

The older man took deep breaths in preparation for speaking. "In truth… I have noticed a certain...eerie sensation coming from him when he hunts."

Nagato nodded. "Because he feels what other beings feel. He can't hurt animals as long as he's himself. When he hunts, his eyes have to be purple or blue."

The leader twitched like she had been struck by lightning. "Blue eyes?"

Yahiko leaned forward. "What was the other prophet like? The one from your history?"

Neither of them had powers of compulsion. Neither of them were important or highly placed. There was no reason to share such sensitive information with humans, and indeed, the idea of doing so would normally have been unthinkable. However, this was not a normal situation. Sometimes, the normal rules could be bent.

"The demon didn't tell you what a prophet really is," she said slowly. "A prophet is not just a person with a connection to a god. A prophet is the result of a god and a person fusing.

"You speak of a prophet who is as close to being completely separated as he can be. A human side, a divine side, and never the two shall meet. That's not normal. They tend to be more combined than that.

"That one...he appeared normal at first, but began to manifest more and more of a divine nature over time. He was a general, known for leading competently. Well known, famous even. When he began to react to certain things differently, make unusual comments, the world listened. His eyes changed color, becoming bluer and bluer. The change was slow. For months he expressed increasingly unusual opinions, said things that seemed outrageous as if they were natural, became more easily confused by normal things, quieter, more subdued. He stopped being a general very quickly. The urge toward organized violence was the first to go.

"By the end, he was incapable of saying anything at all. Only the man in him could speak, not the god. He stopped wandering. Became almost like a cripple.

"But before then, the things he said provoked so much outrage." She waved a hand; she'd already described the outrage before. No need to describe it again. "It was actually a devoted priest of ours who killed him, hoping to quiet the chaos. It didn't work."

Nagato and Yahiko listened to the end of her story with their mouths hanging open. It seemed unbelievable, but at the same time, everything she said reminded them of things they had personally seen Hidan do. Unbelievable, and undeniable.

"Oh." For Yahiko, this explained many things.

"Oh what?"

"Nothing."

She narrowed her eyes at him.

"Well… Have you heard about the lake? It's kinda, um, alive. Everyone thinks it's like his kid, even though it's a spirit."

The vampire leader shook her head, still looking at him. He shrugged. "I didn't know how he could think of it that way when it's not human." If Hidan was half a spiritual entity, then it made sense.

"Totally the opposite," Nagato muttered. "He was different before he was eight. People rejected him then. He ran away to escape, and he's lived the way he does now ever since. The opposite of what happened to the general."

They were all quiet for some time. There was much rethinking to do. The vampire with the kitten petted her soft fur. She tried to maul his hand. For once, he let her. She meowed in confusion at the lack of blood leaking from her claw marks.

Yahiko shook his head. No matter what had happened, he still kept a clear sense of his priorities. They had to keep Hidan and themselves safe. "So, don't ask us to try to drive him away," he said. "We're not going to turn on our friend. That's what he is, no matter what you say about Jashinists. No matter how creepy he looks, no matter what he is, he's our friend and we won't betray him. And Jashin sama hasn't done anything to us, so… No."

The vampire leader acknowledged him with a single slow nod. "I must reconsider our options."

Nagato suppressed a smile. Not yet. We're not out of her territory yet."Keep in mind what Yahiko said. You can't expect that much of us."

She said nothing.

"That kitten is adorable," Yahiko finally gushed. So cute! I can't believe I managed to not say it this whole time. His opinions of the vampires were much improved by the knowledge that they took care of kittens. That's so sweet!

"She needs more training," the leader huffed. "But that is none of your concern." She turned away. At some invisible signal, she and her guards disappeared into the night, leaving Nagato and Yahiko standing in a deserted intersection in the dark.

Now Nagato smiled. "You were right," he told Yahiko. "No matter what, we have to remember what's important."

"And there's nothing more important than friendship," Yahiko finished.

Nagato nudged his arm in agreement. They went home.

.

Konan was not at all surprised. "You will, of course, avoid speaking of this."

What? That's all? She's just going to ban us from talking? She's not surprised or anything? Yahiko nodded, feeling hurt. Both Nagato and Konan had known so much more than he had, and neither had told him.

But then, Konan said, "It was a good idea to go alone after all. She would not have revealed so much otherwise." She nodded at Yahiko, which he interpreted as being her equivalent of a smile.

Somehow, that made everything better.

Konan

Konan was the last to go to bed that night. She was not as unaffected as she looked. It was true that she wasn't surprised to hear the vampire's blunt description. But she did still have many questions on this topic.

As she brushed her teeth, a new one occurred to her. When I first arrived in this world, I wondered if something was guiding my actions. Perhaps something was. She recalled a brief moment where it had seemed that the spots of blue sky, and not the leaves of a tree, were moving. Did that signify anything? It was a similar color, but that did not have to mean anything.

She wondered why she still remembered that moment.

As she removed her cloak, she wondered, Does Jashin sama have a mind? It was very unclear whether he did or not. On the one hand, everything the symbol did and everything Hidan was influenced by was passive, a mere consequence of Jashin sama's presence and not the result of a direct action. Some things Hidan said suggested a lack of consciousness, too.

On the other hand, Hidan's existence couldn't be explained by anything other than coordinated action on Jashin sama's part. A human soul, next to that wild, energetic force of life? She felt its pull, and she was in a separate body. Hidan could not possibly be staying separate by his own force of will. Nobody was that strong! Separating himself from it, as he must have done in the past, by force of will was out of the question.

Perhaps I am asking the wrong question. Of course a god cannot have a mind that we would recognize. Debating whether or not he is conscious is a waste of time. That was what she told herself every time these questions or thoughts came up. She tried to believe it. But a part of her could not let go of how Hidan's existence made complete sense. If all of Jashin sama's effects on the world were undefinable, she could have let the matter drop. But if she were in Jashin sama's place somehow, she also would have pushed Hidan out on his own.

On second thought, she put her cloak back on. She did not want to feel unprepared and nearly naked while her spine tingled so.

Perhaps Hidan is done conversing with that old friend of his. She felt a twinge of jealousy. Hidan sounded so overjoyed with that friend of his, just like he did with her. And he had refused to hang out like he had initially asked her, because that would have meant interrupting his phone call. Yes, it was petty to feel threatened by someone many miles away who he would never meet in person. But with this world's communication technology, miles of distance no longer seemed like an appropriate buffer.

Such were her thoughts when she met Hidan in the halls a short distance from his room. "Hey," he said. "Wanna hang out?" She raised an eyebrow. He muttered, "You're still awake, so…" She let him stew for a few more seconds before taking his arm and pulling him towards the nearest outdoor exit.

"Are you mad at me?" Hidan asked. "I'm getting a mix of unpleasant stuff here."

"I am, to some degree, upset with you," she admitted. "With both of you. If it was possible to talk to you in a fugue state, I would like to shake some answers out of that one."

"What kinds of answers?" Hidan asked.

Not fully separate. Only as separate as possible. If I am careful, so that he doesn't close off his memory to protect himself, I can still ask what I wish."Some of the things he has done contain evidence of planning. I did not think he planned. There is still little reason to think he does. I am understandably frustrated to not know for sure if there are intentions I need to account for in my own plans."

Hidan frowned. "I...dunno." He sat in the bed of Kakuzu's truck and leaned back to think.

Konan joined him. He put his arm around her, and they looked up at the leaves as one. It was so peaceful that they refused to speak for a while. They settled into their positions, relaxed every muscle, combined their body heat until it was even. When Konan could not easily detect his arm around her, only then did she ask, "Why not?"

"Does past experience changing a system so it reacts differently the next time that experience comes up constitute learning?"

"That sounds like the definition of learning."

"Yeah, but it's also a description of an animal tearing through some bushes and fraying the ends of their branches so the next time something passes through there it doesn't get caught. That's not planning."

Konan sighed. "You believe your other self might be mindlessly reacting to past events in ways that resemble planning?"

Hidan grumbled. "Kinda? Not sure if it's mindless or not. Who the fuck cares." He was now downright surly.

She nudged his cheek. "Why are you so desperate for company?"

"I never had the kinds of bonds I have here before. Wanted to get a closer feel of them. This is all new to me." He nuzzled her back.

"It is? You must have a marvelous talent. I never would have guessed."

"Aw, you don't mean that." He turned and nuzzled her more forcefully, as if he was eating her hair. He didn't stop until she laughed.

She wrapped her arms around him in a loose grip. "What do you think of for the future?"

"Hmm…" He was quiet for some time. Konan could not help but notice the scent of his breath. Once again, she questioned what kind of relationship they had. "I might, maybe, want to get married someday? But… Not in the typical way. I just think I want something official, something you can make an occasion out of. Mark it on a calendar and all that shit."

"Marriage. I can hardly see it for you. No offense intended."

"I said not in the traditional way."

"Very well." What might a Jashinist wedding ceremony look like? There would be blood involved. Tasting blood. Hearts racing, as if from a hunt. On second thought, she could perfectly imagine Hidan participating in something that she now envisioned as not a ceremony, but an altered version of the sacrifice ritual. "Never mind. I can imagine it."

"What are you imagining?" he asked suspiciously.

"Chasing someone through the night, nipping at each other, drawing and tasting blood."

"...That sounds fucking amazing." She could feel his heartbeat quicken.

"Of course, I do not actually know what a Jashinist wedding involves."

"Close e-fucking-nough."

What does it say about me that I accurately described a Jashinist wedding without any prior information? The others all thought she and Hidan were alike. Were they right? She still didn't know.

"What kind of relationship do we have?" she asked. "I have always wondered."

"It would be weird to get naked with you. I dunno why - it just would be. But fuck yes I would marry you if you wanted me to." He nuzzled her again. "Rrr."

She nuzzled him back. "You want to keep us strictly romantic?"

"Mm."

"That sounds backwards, coming from you."

He pulled his face away. "Yeah, it is. I always make a big deal of emotional stuff - I will not kiss anyone I'm not 100% devoted to. Has to be very serious before I'd do that. But physical stuff's not serious. I'd do that right from the start. Except with you. You're...different."

I was once compelled to attend to your needs even when I myself did not know what those needs were. You like people who have power over you. How could you possibly want someone you have power over? "I understand. I always found your original very attractive, but you are different as well."

"You liked to look at me when you first got here."

"That changed."

Hidan looked down at her hand resting on his belly. He put his free hand over it. "Guess it did. Huh. I didn't notice."

"Would you turn female for me?"

He did so. The curve of his shoulders, which she fit so nicely into, was now wrong. His stomach muscles were not different, but they felt different somehow. His face, likewise. And his scent…

"As I expected. I do not like this form nearly as well." He turned male again. "This is much better." Why? I don't want him physically. So why should his sex make a difference?

He nuzzled the side of her head, driving these questions away. There was only them, together, and warmth.

Without speaking, they agreed not to move. Hidan drifted off first. Konan idly wondered what this meant for her other relationships. Then she followed.

.

A/N: I love this language. What genius came up with a language where words like twinge and surly could exist? They just sound so beautiful! Ah!

In addition, I have nothing but support for the practice of splitting words. To all those pretentious language zealots who argue that infinitives shouldn't be split just because they were single words in Latin: bah! You think single words can't be split? Of course they can! Absodefinitively!

I am glad that insufficient length forced me to add this last scene. I was going to end the chapter after Nagato and Yahiko returned, but then I loaded the document on the computer and saw that it was much too short. Yay! This little addition was quite pleasant to write.

I hope my power's on by next week! Hope to see you then!