A/N: Extremely last minute post! No time for extensive notes. Hope you all enjoy it. It was my birthday recently! I am now 21 years old.

By the way, in American English, the word "elk" refers to a completely different animal than it does in the rest of the world.

Much happiness to all!

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Samehada

Curious Tiger Person was very gentle with his petting. Too gentle. Samehada tried to make him scratch harder, but Curious Tiger Person's best attempts to scratch hard were still too weak. Perhaps he was not as strong as Human Cousin. Samehada let him be.

The red-haired human was the next to get up and leave, citing a need to mail a package. "On a related note, I have determined that long distance communication is just as safe as talking with someone around here," he added before leaving.

"Wonder what he needs to mail," Kisame muttered.

Nagato shrugged. "Probably something related to the shop. He's a business owner now. That must carry a lot of responsibilities." Konan nodded.

Ruta noticed and stopped petting Samehada. "What do you know about owning businesses and stuff?" he asked her.

"I used to co-lead the Village Hidden in the Rain," Konan answered. "There was a great deal of paperwork involved. It is the sort of position that consumes one's whole day. There really is no time off."

Ruta shivered. "Sounds like a lot."

Samehada detected a shift in his chakra. A withdrawing. Was Curious Tiger Person afraid of a thing that meant lots and lots of thinking all the time? Why? He warbled Question?

"I'm really not cut out for sustained responsibility," Curious Tiger Person replied. "I can't keep it up. I need breaks."

Oh, that made sense. Samehada licked his face.

"You're not going to get far with that attitude, kid," Human Cousin said.

Curious Tiger Person flushed. "I know."

"You can't fuck around doing whatever you want forever," Kisame continued. "You have to decide what you want to do with your life eventually. Make choices and stick with them. 'Oh, I can't handle responsibility' is bullshit, and you know it."

Tears appeared in Ruta's eyes. "I know. I'm not really good at anything in particular. It feels like I wasn't meant to live here, in this place where people live that way."

"Well you do, so man the hell up and deal with it," Kisame told him. "You are a resident of the real world."

Ruta petted Samehada silently. Samehada whined. What was Human Cousin saying? Was he saying that Curious Tiger Person was bad? He was not bad! "No, it's okay, Sammy," said Curious Tiger Person. "I should adapt to wherever I am. He's right." His voice was very sad and small, like a lost pup alone in a strange sea. Samehada continued to whine, and licked his face as comfort.

"Isn't there a gentler way?" Yahiko asked. "You didn't have to make him cry."

"I cry easily," Ruta said before Kisame could say anything. "And I like to. It's fine." He wiped his eyes. "I dunno. Maybe this break with the bicycles will be just what I need."

"I think so," Yahiko told him. "Sasori's good to talk to. He can help you figure things out."

Ruta started to smile. Samehada chirred. It was good of Nice Human to help! He wriggled off of Ruta's lap to lick Yahiko on the cheek.

Yahiko laughed. "Hey, Sammy, I've been trying to learn how to understand you. Say something, and I'll try to understand it."

Samehada lolled his tongue out. Good understanding yes! Maybe he would be able to ask Nice Human questions that he could not ask Human Cousin.

"You like that I'm trying to understand you," Yahiko guessed. Samehada nodded. It was working already! He decided to ask Nice Human a question. He chirred Question?

Yahiko hesitated. "That...sounded like a question…" Samehada nodded. He repeated the sound and followed it with nudging his snout towards the west. What are the vampires like? He'd always wanted to know. Nobody had ever explained what a vampire was. It was like they all knew. Samehada had learned that they were people who drank blood and used to follow the Very Big Sharp Thing, but he knew he didn't know everything the humans knew about vampires.

"The vampires?" Yahiko asked. "Um… We're doing really well at talking with them. They're not going to attack anybody."

Samehada rattled and shook his head no. Nice Human hadn't understood what question he was asking. Samehada tried again, pointing to the west and tilting his head while chirping Question?

"They...um… They're nice," Yahiko said. "A lot like us. They seem friendly and interesting. They're somehow more in over their heads than we are now that they're learning all this stuff about Jashin sama. I want to help them out."

Samehada rattled again. He looked at Ruta. Perhaps the Curious Tiger Person who had understood a question before could help Nice Human understand now?

"Vampires are mythical blood-sucking monsters," Ruta said. "Lots of cultures have some version of a story about something that drains the life force from humans. In our culture, vampires are thought of as being almost human themselves. They used to be humans, until another vampire came along and infected them, after which they developed sharp teeth and a hunger for blood and an inability to live in sunlight, and maybe other powers on top of that. They can usually fly and hypnotize people."

Samehada made a long, drawn out rumble of curiosity. Why would so many humans have stories about things that suck blood? Was that a fear humans were born with? Were they plagued by things that sucked their blood? Samehada knew there were animals that sucked blood from others, but he didn't know of any sharks that bothered to make up stories about lampreys. They were just something you occasionally encountered, and when that happened you should avoid them. Why did humans spend so much time thinking about creatures like that?

Yahiko's mouth was open. "He wanted to know what vampires are?" Kisame facepalmed.

"Yep," Ruta said. "I don't know where vampire legends come from. I know some vampire legends, like the one we have where they used to be humans until they were turned, probably come from people trying to explain sickness. There's a disease I heard of that used to kill a lot of people centuries ago. If you dug up the grave of someone who had died from it, their flesh would have pulled back and made it look like their nails and teeth had grown, they'd look fat and well fed, and the disease would have made blood leak from their mouths. So you have a dead guy who looks like he was just walking around drinking blood hours ago, and a bunch of people are getting sick from the same thing he had. Combine the two, and it looks like he might have come back from the dead to drink blood and spread it to them. So that's one of the places our story comes from. I don't know about the other stories. Maybe they're also attempts to explain sickness or something else."

Samehada made an awed sound. Wow! The stories humans made up were fascinating! How did humans take something that just randomly happened, like sickness, mix it with just one or two weird things, and spin such elaborate stories out of so few ingredients? It was incredible! He'd never even thought of sickness as something that needed explaining. How did they do it?

Kisame pressed his palm into his face harder. "Someday, I will anticipate his questions and explain things. Someday."

Samehada chirped happily and raced around the fire to lick him on the side of the face. It was okay. Curious humans like the Curious Tiger Person could make big stories. Human Cousin didn't. Maybe all the stories had come from humans like the Curious Tiger Person, and other humans did not think of stories. It was okay to not tell stories.

"Thanks, Same." But Kisame did not sound entirely relieved. He stared into the fire, unmoved by the brewing discussion around him. Samehada was not moved either. Further discussion of long ago humans and their stories did not interest him now. Human Cousin looked and felt upset, and that was all that mattered. Samehada pressed against his shoulder to offer comfort, but that did not work very much.

.

The discussion was interrupted shortly when Wave stood and whuffed, and her human translated that as meaning they should go back to get rest. Ruta sighed and said sadly that he should do the same now that he had a job to go to in the morning. The fire was getting pretty low. They all had to content themselves with what they had already said. Goodbyes were said, the fire put out, and people went to bed in high spirits. The nice human, in particular, was very happy to have learned about the ways that long ago people explained things. He said it would help him understand how they talked about spirits.

Samehada did not wonder what he was talking about. Human Cousin was still quiet. He didn't feel as upset as before, which was good, but he was still quiet. Quietness was a thing to pay attention to. Samehada didn't know exactly what it meant, but quietness usually led to things happening.

Human Cousin prepared to go to bed in silence. Samehada curled up in his place in the corner and watched. When Human Cousin was done, he did something unexpected. He picked Samehada up and held the shark against his belly as he turned out the light. He fell back into bed with Samehada on top of him. Samehada whined. Was Human Cousin lonely? Was he hurt? Why did he need cuddles? He didn't initiate cuddles unless something was wrong.

Human Cousin sighed. "It's really hard to try to change yourself, Same. And it's not fun."

Samehada licked his face. Kisame cursed. "Fuck! They were right there, and I didn't ask for advice on how to quiet my instincts. Shit. I have to remember to ask about that."

Samehada chirped. Question? Why would Human Cousin want to quiet his instincts?

"I'm a little scared of some of the things I'm trying to do," Kisame admitted in a whisper. "My instincts tell me to clam up and avoid everything I'm even slightly unsure of. I don't want to do that, but I can't help it. How do I stop?"

Samehada rumbled softly. Kisame relaxed. "I don't know what I'm so afraid of. We live next to a whole clan of people who are half animal. It wouldn't be weird to have a shark girlfriend." He shivered, his chakra curling up and hiding deep inside. "You see? I can't even talk about having that kind of relationship with a shark without shivering. It just feels… Weird. Strange. Who the hell would do that."

Samehada whined.

"When did I start caring so much about what other people might think?" Kisame took a harsh breath. "Fuck me."

Samehada settled down to a quiet whimper. Kisame petted him. "I wish I could talk to someone who could talk back. But I can't. I won't talk to anybody about it." He closed his eyes. "Thank you, Same. It's nice to have someone to listen."

Samehada continued to whimper. Sad sad lonely. Did that mean Human Cousin really would leave? Did it mean he would find a human he liked better and forget all about Samehada?

Kisame tensed again. "Same?" He held onto his shark more fiercely. "What's wrong?"

Samehada whined.

Kisame hesitated. "I don't know what that means." He wrapped his arms around Samehada and gave the shark a tight hug. "Doesn't matter. Don't worry, Same. You're my best friend ever, and nothing I just said about my difficulty relating to sharks applies to you. You're not strange to be with at all, and I think you might be the key to getting along with other sharks. I'll figure this out, buddy. Everything will be okay."

His chakra was bright and strong. He meant everything he said. Samehada chirped and nuzzled his neck. His fears had been soothed and his hope was restored. Happy happy love goodness warmth happy!

Only later, when Human Cousin had just dropped off to sleep and Samehada was not far behind, did the shark remember. Some of the things Human Cousin said were not true, even though he meant them. Samehada normally trusted his words absolutely. Human Cousin, being a human and smart, was obviously an expert on humans and himself and how the tank worked. Whatever he had to say about subjects Samehada didn't know about was instantly accepted as truth. But now he had said two different things that couldn't swim together, and he believed them both. There was no lie. Was it possible for Human Cousin to be...wrong?

Human Cousin had said he didn't know things and could be confused, but it was still a shock to know for certain. It scared Samehada. What would he do if he couldn't take Human Cousin to be a patch of calm water in the confusing sea of human activities? Samehada decided that Human Cousin was wrong about this one thing, but could be trusted for everything else. He was still very smart, still human. His words were good.

Samehada had dreams that were neither entirely peaceful nor entirely bad.

Deidara

It took a few seconds to remember where he was. Deidara wondered why nobody else was up yet, why nobody was in the hall. Had he slept late again?

Then he woke up more and remembered. I didn't go back last night. I'm in my house. He was in his bedroom in his bed, and Laurie was on the couch. They'd stayed up late enough the night before that neither of them wanted to risk traveling.

The memories brought a smile to Deidara's face and hands. I had a date, an actual date, with a girl I like, and it went super well. Yeah! He sat up and threw the blankets off himself. Today was a good day!

He saw that Laurie was still asleep. I could make breakfast for her, yeah! But, of course, now that he wasn't really living here anymore, he didn't have any food. Oh. Darn. His stomach gurgled. I'll have to get something.

Getting something for himself meant getting something for her, too, and since he couldn't cook it himself, that meant waking her up. He would not be able to surprise her this morning. He sighed. Dammit, I really wanted to surprise her, yeah. He sat on the arm of the couch next to her head and gently shook one of her shoulders.

She blinked her eyes open and yawned. "I don't have anything to cook, hm," Deidara said. "We'll have to go out. What do you want for breakfast?"

"Gyros," Laurie murmured. "I love gyros."

Deidara had no idea what gyros were. "Okay, yeah." He looked up a place where gyros were served on his phone, then got dressed. Clay stood in the front yard. It was a beautiful morning. The air was just the right amount of chill, dew sparkled off the grass, and the light was low and casting long shadows. It would be good to walk. But he was hungry. It would be good to fly. Deidara was torn. Should he finish off what had been the most amazing date night of his life in the perfect manner, or should he appease his complaining stomach? Well, when he phrased it that way, there was no decision to be made at all.

"Let's walk, yeah," he suggested.

"Not all the way," Laurie said. "He can walk with us, right?"

They walked in pleasant silence, followed by a clay bird, through the grass lining the busy roadway. It wasn't pedestrian friendly. Deidara took her hand to pull her away from a sharp bit of fallen wood, and didn't bother letting go. She didn't make him. They were forced to move as one after that, and Deidara found he really liked moving as one with another person. It was a lot like flying with Clay. He told her that walking together was like flying. She smiled and blushed, though she clearly didn't understand exactly what he meant.

"This isn't weird?" he asked.

"What isn't weird?"

He tightened his grip and made his hand mouth open and close.

"Oh." She paused. "I don't really notice it unless you do things like that. When it's just sitting there closed, it doesn't feel very different."

She even accepts my weird hand mouths. "Thanks."

She squeezed his hand back. "No problem."

When the spectacular greenery of nature ended and town began, they mounted Clay and flew to the gyro place. Deidara grinned in astonishment at the multiplying multitudes of reasons he was finding to be glad that NPCs did not object to Clay. He's so much better than a car, yeah! They landed in the parking lot, put Clay in a regular parking space with all the other vehicles, and walked in.

"What. The. Fuck?"

"What?" Laurie looked around. "You don't like it?"

"Your idea of breakfast is a giant meat taco?"

"They're delicious," she replied. "Why wouldn't they be good for breakfast?"

Deidara stared at her. Who was this marvelous person? How had he had the wonderful fortune to meet a woman who could eat a dinner sized amount of meat and the plate it came on for breakfast? "Do you want to split one?"

"No. Get your own."

Yes! It's true! He started to grin while staring at her. "Your idea of breakfast is awesome, yeah!"

She grinned back. "I might be outdone by the likes of you, but that doesn't mean I'm just going to let it happen."

Neither of them finished their gyros in one sitting. But they both had nearly the same amount left over.

Yahiko

Yahiko cornered Hidan in what little free time he had before going to work. "Hey Hidan, um, do you have any other phrases I can use to stop being responsible for everything?"

Hidan blinked. "What about 'They are a butterfly'? How's that?"

"What does it mean?"

"Struggling gets a butterfly's blood moving when it breaks out of its hangy-shell-thing," Hidan explained. "It's what allows them to spread their pretty wings. If they didn't struggle, like if you broke it open for them, their blood wouldn't move and their wings wouldn't spread and they wouldn't get to be pretty."

"It's perfect! Thank you."

Yahiko looked at Nagato very closely as they walked to the car. He is a butterfly. He will be amazing some day, and I want to see it. So I shouldn't try to take responsibility for him. Thinking of it as "helping someone become amazing" instead of "letting them struggle" made him feel so much lighter. "Letting them struggle" sounded like doing nothing, and no matter how much he might want to be able to do nothing, he wasn't currently capable of it. "Helping" was something he could do. It felt so much better to not struggle against himself. There might be a lesson in that.

Before he could figure out what it was, Nagato noticed him staring. "What?" he asked while blushing.

"Nothing." Yahiko looked away. "I was trying a new way of thinking."

"Oh? What is it?"

"That you are a butterfly."

They got into the car. Nagato started it and backed out of the parking space next to the hotel. As he turned and drove forward out of the parking lot, he said, "I'd rather be an elk. Or a red deer."

Yahiko looked it up. "Wow! They're huge and they look so strong. Not like a regular deer at all."

"That's me," Nagato said. "A deer's grace, but none of the running away every time I so much as glimpse a human. I'd rather stand tall and majestic."

"Nice antlers," Yahiko agreed. "Yeah. It would be really nice if you were an elk!"

"What about you?" Nagato asked.

Yahiko reddened. "I think everyone already agreed I'm a lamb."

"Aw," Nagato said. "You would be the cutest lamb."

"Yeah."

"Nobody could even contemplate savagery and violence with such a cute little lamb in the way," Nagato said. "It's perfect."

Yahiko looked up. "You think so?"

"We're not talking about real animals. I'm taling about us as animals, with our human sensibilities," Nagato said. "So yes."

"I thought it just meant I'm small and helpless," Yahiko said.

Nagato did not take his eyes off the road, but it was a struggle. "Has someone actually called you a lamb as an insult?"

"Well, no," Yahiko admitted. "Not as an insult. He gave me a medal of bravery."

"A medal of bravery?"

"Though I think the vampire lady did mean it as an insult," Yahiko muttered. "But she didn't know I've been called a lamb before. She wasn't really talking to me. It was more like a general insult."

Nagato made a turn slightly faster than he should have. "'Like a lamb to the slaughter.' You think that meant you? No. Nobody would ever slaughter you."

"But it does make me small and helpless."

"That's - no."

"In the real world, with real animals, being a lamb surrounded by mountain lions and bears and elk would get me killed," Yahiko said.

"It's not real."

"But if it was -"

"You're really overthinking this."

Yahiko paused. Was he? It was just supposed to be a nice aspirational metaphor. Being a giant deer surely had downsides, but Nagato didn't talk about them because it wasn't the point. "Sorry."

"It's okay." Nagato checked his speed, made sure it was normal. "I understand now why you reacted so much to that phrase. I didn't know you'd been called a lamb before."

"It was the same visit to the demon boy's hospital where I got Hidan that stuffed tiger. I also received a medal and got my shirt painted in bright colors."

Nagato's eyes widened. "Do you still have that shirt?"

"Yeah." It was a nice design, even if he had earned it by having his soul judged mercilessly. Yahiko had yet to work up the courage to wear it again. For all he knew, the feeling might come back. "Why?"

"You remember what Sasori had to say about colors?"

Yahiko gripped his seatbelt. "But, the boy, he's a demon. He couldn't."

"I don't know what he can or can't do," Nagato replied. "It's just a guess. Can't hurt to try it out."

"Hidan doesn't like things like that. He felt sick after we talked about gods, remember?"

"So why would he object to helping us find out why the demon boy put those colors on your shirt?" Nagato argued. "He already reacts badly to a lot of random things. Looking at something that could be important would at least have a good reason behind it."

That made sense. They fell silent. "When I read the note that came with the medal," Yahiko remembered, "I wondered out loud why he was calling me a lamb. I actually asked, out loud, if I was going to get sacrificed. Poor Konan."

"How did she react?" Nagato whispered.

"It must have been her chakra. The air was filled with horrible things, so strong I don't even remember exactly what they were. I just felt like I was going to drown or die or something." Yahiko shivered.

"Maybe we can come up with something for you to be that's not a lamb," Nagato said.

"I would like that."

"Alright." Nagato threw the car into Park so Yahiko could get out. They had reached the department store. "Later?"

"I'll think about it on my lunch. Later."

Nagato waved and drove off. Yahiko took a deep breath. Now I just have to get through today without embarrassing myself or putting a huge burden on anyone else. No freaking out today. I can do this. His heart was already beating fast, and he hadn't even walked in the door yet. I can't do this. Yes, he could. He was something other than a lamb. He just had to figure out what it was.

Yahiko picked up his feet and walked into a place that was rapidly becoming his own personal hell.

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A/N: The referenced events took place in chapter 23, 'Sacrificial Lamb,' and chapter 24, 'Hero.' I meant for Hidan to react to the shirt immediately, but that didn't end up happening. I can only assume that Yahiko changed his shirt.

Anyway, gotta go. See y'all next week!