A/N: I realized last Tuesday that even just thinking about the title of my other story, the one that I'm really working to make readable and good, brings me a little bit of joy. The amount of last-minute writing is the only important difference between that story and this. Therefore, if I start writing earlier and editing and trying to make this story as good, this story will make me happier just to think of it. This realization was sufficiently motivating that I had nearly the normal chapter length written before Saturday.
Which is good, because I spent all of Saturday doing a jigsaw puzzle. (We exchanged presents the day before.) Wow. It was captivating. All those stories of people intending to scroll through Facebook or such sites for just fifteen minutes and they look up and it's been an hour? Doing the jigsaw puzzle was exactly like that. I didn't know anything analog could be so captivating. Woah.
But even so, all that getting started so early allowed me to do was make this a long chapter, which is why it's late today (posted after noon). Sorry! I hope I can be forgiven for that, given what ended up happening here.
Much luck.
.
Kakuzu
Kakuzu got out of his truck and slammed the door shut. He regretted his actions. Sure, she might have been annoying, but he didn't dislike kittens. What if something had happened to her? He would feel bad. And, more importantly, he clearly remembered why he had dumped her here. It was because he had been angry, and his anger had rendered him too impulsive and impatient to think clearly. He regretted being in that state. It was the kind of state where, if he lived in a world of violence like his original, he could imagine hurting someone. He had to find out if the kitten was okay so that he would know if his imagination had become reality. Had he killed someone in a fit of anger? He hoped not. He really, desperately, hoped not.
That was why he hardened his skin all over and entered an abandoned house. He listened carefully for sounds from the basement, and heard none. That was fine. There were plenty of houses around here. He left and searched another.
He came upon a house with sheets on the beds. That was a clear sign that somebody lived here. He went to the middle of the house, where he would be heard no matter where they were, and knocked on the floor. Perhaps it was more of a thud than a knock. Oh well. The floors were going to disintegrate eventually anyway.
He listened closely after that. No response came from below. But he kept listening, and just barely heard the sound of feet upon stairs. His eyes flicked over to the basement door. There was a mechanism there, wires darting out from the doorjamb over to the nearest set of curtains. As he watched, the wires moved and pulled the curtain across the window. The door opened then, revealing a female vampire wearing something draped over her head and body. It hid her shape and cast her in shadow. Kakuzu was annoyed by this, even though he'd never seen any of the vampires in person and knew he wouldn't be able to recognize her if he could see her. Still he would have preferred to be able to see her form and recognizable features. It must have been ninja instinct.
"Who are you?" she asked. Her voice was cold. Polite. Civil. Practical. Wary. The pleasantries would last only as long as she thought she would prefer to avoid hostility.
"I'm the one who dumped a kitten here over a week ago," Kakuzu said. "I wanted to find out what happened to her."
"The kitten is in good health," the vampire said coolly. "She is intelligent and determined. Her training is proceeding ahead of schedule. You have nothing to worry about."
They adopted her and are training her as a battle cat? Kakuzu hadn't expected that. The best-case scenario he envisioned was that they left her alone or passed her off to someone else. The worst, that they devoured her fifteen minutes after he left when the sun went down. Who knew the local vampires could be so kindly? Good to see I didn't get her killed. In fact, it sounds like I set her up for a promising future. So he was not that similar to his original, after all. "Glad to hear it. That's all. I'll go now." He turned to leave.
"Who are you?" she asked again. "Are you one of the heretic's companions?"
Heretic? Vampire religion. Jashin sama. She must mean Hidan. He turned back. "Yes, and Hidan is not a heretic. He doesn't even believe in Jashin sama. Talking about Jashinism is a useful technique to make him leave the area. Whatever you have against him, it's wrong."
The woman lowered her head. "Yes, as we've heard. Old habits die hard."
"You're a bunch of closed-minded bigots. Have you heard that?" Kakuzu was feeling brave, because he'd already gotten what he wanted and could leave at any time. "Your whole revenge quest against him is pointless and idiotic. You might be vampires, but you're not fearsome at all. Just pathetic."
He just saw her eyes flash and her arms tense. "Are we?" she asked. Her voice could have made the walls frost over. It reminded him of Konan. But she did not intimidate him the same way. He had caused her anger. He could get to her. Konan's intimidating look was without cause, beyond his control. Kakuzu did not fear what he could control.
"Yes. He is not and never has been a Jashinist. Even if he was, you don't know as much about Jashinists as you think you do. They don't get any special powers from sacrificing, for one." Kakuzu shrugged. "I base this on the fact that our Hidan does not perform sacrifices, and he's still immortal. Konan does, and she isn't. Your people also don't know a damn thing about Jashin sama. To worship him properly, you have to love what you do. People like Hidan enjoy hunting more than you do. Jashin sama thought they make better followers because they make better followers."
Her eyes lost their flash and her arms grew limp. Kakuzu continued, shaking his head. "Did you really think that Jashin sama just chooses who he likes, that you were chosen ones? Obviously not. A god's favor has to be earned. He didn't 'choose' anyone. You people just wanted to think you were special and got prissy when you saw you were wrong." His voice dripped with disdain. Maybe he was going overboard. Maybe he shouldn't anger their western neighbors this much. But goddamn, the stupidity of this misunderstanding really sharpened his tongue. He couldn't imagine having so few brains as to get mad over a god making choices he didn't like. They're gods. What kind of idiot would care?
"Where did you hear this?" she asked. The coldness had gone out of her voice. All that was left was a weak whisper. Kakuzu was in total control now, and he did not have a history of being merciful to annoying beings under his care.
"Our diplomats heard it from Hidan," he told her. "The very night they first met with you people. Well, it wasn't exactly Hidan they talked to; he has no memory of that night. Whoever it was, he told them all about the joy and vitality requirements. I've heard you consider him a reliable source now."
The vampire woman said nothing. She might have been going into shock. Kakuzu narrowed his eyes in victory. That was as much fun as he could imagine having here. He turned and left, wanting to be alone to slowly savor the thrill of the kill.
As he reached his truck, he changed his mind. He didn't want to be entirely alone in his moment of triumph. He got into his truck, locked it so that nobody could get in if they braved the sun in order to attack, took out his phone and opened the group chat. I told a vampire how Jashinism really works. She won't be able to speak for a while. He then grinned and drove out of the area, heading somewhere safer. So what if they adopted kittens? He wasn't going to let down his guard just because of that.
Kakuzu pulled over and parked on the grass next to the intersection where the road leading into the abandoned houses met the main road. He checked his phone to see if anyone had responded. Konan had. I thought it did not need to be said that this task was for Nagato and Yahiko to complete.
If you don't say it, don't expect anybody else to know it, Kakuzu shot back. It makes no difference anyway. They had to find out sometime soon.
Nagato and Yahiko are more experienced at avoiding hostility.
That was true. Kakuzu wondered if his insults would provoke future violence. Maybe it had not been a good idea to call her people pathetic closed-minded bigots. But in the chat, he remained as grumpy as ever. All I did was tell her the truth. If they object to it, that's their problem. What are they going to do? Attack a god? He hit Send, then immediately turned his phone off and put it away. Someone might call his bluff. Was it cowardice? Yes, but he didn't care. Kakuzu had much better things to worry about as he drove away, such as how he could make it up to everyone if he really had provoked a war with vampires. If he had done that, he'd better be prepared to shoulder his share of the consequences.
He spent the remaining daylight training in the forest. It was hard for a man of his size to navigate stealthily among the trees there. He had to do a lot of midair twisting to land sideways or at odd angles. By the time it became too dark to hunt well, Kakuzu was sure his chakra control had improved from having to use hands and feet to grip whatever he could get a hold on. How does Hidan do this? Hidan was surely more flexible, being part cat. She was right. It does get better with training. After leaping down to (temporarily) ensnare every animal he could find, Kakuzu's timing was improving. His ability to use his tentacles was also improving. The improvement was quicker than he had expected. It did not feel like he was learning, but rather like he was remembering. Kakuzu found himself wondering about his original. Did they move in the same ways? The way he shot his forearm out on a stream of tentacles that shouldn't have been able to physically exist - was that the way his original fought? What about the way he held onto trees?
Despite such troubling thoughts, he felt relieved as he returned to base in the twilight. His conscience was clear. If they attack, I will be able to help fight them off.
Not everyone felt the same way.
General
Kisame grabbed him almost immediately and dragged him into the kitchen. "How did she look after you told her?"
"Hello to you too. Aren't you out of work early? And where's Samehada?"
"This is fucking important, and too dangerous. Answer the goddamn question."
"She looked like she was going into shock. Konan was right. Hidan, or whoever they talked to, is a reliable source now." Kakuzu pulled free of the shark man's grip. "Everything is fine."
"How do you know that, yeah?" Deidara asked. "Didn't you get those ritual tattoo thingies so you'd be less impulsive and not start fights, yeah?"
"They only stop the symbol from working on me," Kakuzu snapped. "This had nothing to do with the symbol. And you had better not be saying what I think you're saying."
Deidara rushed out into the hallway and dragged Nagato into the room by one arm. The redhead nearly fell over. "That you're really impulsive?" Deidara asked. Kakuzu growled, though he knew it to be true.
Nagato righted himself. "Dei! I was just talking with Konan." He looked around and spotted an angry Kakuzu. "Nevermind."
Kakuzu snorted and turned away. "As if I would bother." He left the kitchen.
Konan and Yahiko followed Nagato in. "Is everything okay?" Yahiko asked.
Nagato sighed. "Yes. Deidara did not need bodyguarding." He turned to face them. "So, what is the plan?"
"How did the vampire react to what Kakuzu had to say?" Konan asked Kisame.
"Looked like she was going into shock."
"Good. You two will meet with the vampire leader tonight," she told Nagato and Yahiko. "Kakuzu does not know the entire story. You must tell her some of the more technical facts. Having a more detailed claim will hopefully prevent reason from being cast aside. She will have to think clearly in order to understand you."
The two of them nodded. "If you're ready to give her the full version, can we hear it too, yeah?" Deidara asked. "I'd really like to know what's going on."
"You were with us that night," Nagato said, surprised. "And some other nights recently. You know what's going on."
"Do I?" Deidara looked back and forth between them and Konan. "I know I'm not one of you."
"And I know exactly as much as Kakuzu does, which is nearly nothing," Kisame said. "I would really fucking like to know what's going on."
The air turned sharper, more perilous. "That will require revealing information that you do not need to know," Konan said sternly.
"Wait," Nagato said softly. He held up his hands. "I understand how dangerous it is. That's a lot to risk. But weren't we planning on telling people at some point?"
"So you guys have been keeping secrets from us." Deidara was surprised to find that he wasn't even particularly disappointed. It's a relief to know that what I thought all along is true, yeah.
"What risk?" Kisame's eyes darted among the three of them. "I thought the vampire situation was under control. You talked to them, convinced them to change their minds, and now everything's fine. She just needs some more details. What fucking risk are you talking about?"
"Something entirely unrelated to the vampires," Konan said.
"But not unrelated to us." And Kisame had been in such a good mood earlier. Now all of a sudden he had to find out that there was a conspiracy going on? He'd never suspected that Yahiko of all people could be involved in conspiracy. But it was impossible to ever know another person completely.
Konan's mask cracked. Her eyes twitched, and her cheek muscles tightened, and before he knew it Kisame found himself on the wrong end of her burning rage. He paled. Oh shit. Konan turned to face him, and he found himself frozen. Unable to move. Everyone else in the room backed the hell away. Kisame wished he could join them.
"You are not in danger," Konan told him. "You are the danger."
Kisame tried to keep his cringing to a minimum. "How?"
Konan's amber eyes seemed like they were glowing. But they couldn't have been, right? She turned away. "You are right. There will be a meeting," she told Nagato. Then she left the kitchen.
Nagato grabbed Yahiko's arm. "I haven't thought at all about how we'll say it. We need to find Itachi, now." He and Yahiko raced from the room.
Hidan poked his head in. "Why are people rushing around? Why is anyone angry and frightened? Someone fucking tell me what's going on!" he snapped, amply demonstrating both emotions.
"There's something about the vampires and Jashinism that makes people like Kisame dangerous somehow," Deidara said in a hurry.
Hidan hesitated. His face grew strangely blank and distant. "Oh." He shook his head. "I saw the group chat. I'll be up on the roof looking out for vampires." And he left.
Deidara moved next to Kisame. "Vampires. Jashinism. Konan looking angry," he listed in a whisper. "It has to do with Hidan, yeah. He's the only one she would look that angry for."
"Kakuzu's been more considerate of him lately," Kisame said. "He hasn't told me why. Only that he realized he was going too far. You think Konan worries that I would 'go too far' too?"
All of a sudden Deidara realized what the rest of the group was going to be told. Oh fuck. They're going to tell everyone about him being a prophet. Deidara knew that until now, he had not been allowed to even mention it. Not even to Sasori, the most levelheaded person he knew. He knew it was because people might treat Hidan differently. "Um…" He started to sweat.
Kisame looked at him sideways. "Why'd Nagato say you already knew almost everything?"
"Because I do?" Deidara squeaked. "Um… I think I know what they're going to talk about. It's something really embarrassing about Hidan. Something he's really insecure about."
"Hidan? Insecure?" Kisame asked. "He's not like other people. He doesn't get insecure."
Is the room hot? It feels like a sauna, yeah. "He does," Deidara mumbled. "I think I need to go find Itachi, yeah. 'Scuse me." He left the room in search of Itachi.
Where would I have a maximum security discussion about the most important thing in the history of the world, yeah? There was only one room in the base that was completely secure. Deidara ruled it out because nobody would be able to think clearly with the symbol nearby. There was another room in the base that was pretty secure. At least, people had met there before and you didn't barge in without either a really good reason or a knock. He went to Hidan's room.
Light shone through the gap beneath the door: a promising sign. Deidara knocked. "It's Dei. Can I come in?"
"Sure," Nagato said. Deidara entered. Nagato, Yahiko and Itachi had managed to find seats on the bed. Deidara wedged himself on there. It was a tight fit and he was literally knocking knees with Itachi, but better that than someone sitting on the floor or standing.
"You guys are going to tell everyone he's a prophet, aren't you, yeah?" he asked.
"Yes, but also no," Nagato said. "She banned us from talking immediately after we found this out, but we have to plan what we're going to say, so you two can be the first to know. A prophet isn't just someone with a special connection to divine powers. A prophet is what happens when a god and a person fuse together."
Deidara and Itachi went very, very still. "We asked if they were separate," Deidara mumbled as he thought aloud. "Hidan and Purple Eyes. Because it doesn't make any sense for him to hit himself with his own powers."
"Are you saying," Itachi whispered, "that the four of you spoke directly to Jashin sama?"
"No," Yahiko said. "Jashin sama has blue eyes, and can't move or speak."
"He had blue eyes before you two got there," Nagato said, looking at Yahiko and Deidara. "It nearly gave me a heart attack. It seemed like he was dead. So limp." He was wracked by full-body shivers. "Yahiko's right. That wasn't him. It was… It must have been a blend of them. Hidan's human understanding translating what Jashin sama had to say."
"She said they can be combined in all kinds of ways," Yahiko added. "Prophets, I mean."
"Who said?"
"The vampire leader."
Deidara's mouth dropped open. "Yikes, yeah! No wonder you were so sure she wouldn't attack. Now it all makes sense. The vampires know all about prophets, hm."
"Kakuzu probably scared the snot out of her. Telling her that everything she said in anger might have been reported directly to the being she was angry at…" Nagato shook his head. "But that's not important right now. Hidan is important. How do we say this so that nobody treats him like a danger or a monster?"
"Slowly," Itachi suggested.
Deidara shook his head. "Fast, yeah." Like Konan had when she told them about being ninjas. Being dunked headfirst into something so shocking was the only way to handle it.
"I can see both points," Nagato said. "Going about it slowly would help people understand, while doing it fast would shock them. Which would keep people from being mean to him? Understanding or being too shocked to react?"
"If people are shocked, they'll look at him funny," Yahiko said. "The way Kisame and other people looked at Konan because she said we were ninjas with magic powers. I think we should go slowly. I trust our friends to be kind to him even if they're scared, as long as they understand why they need to be nice to him."
"Eh…" Deidara remembered things he had seen in the past. "I don't think so, hm. The truth has a way of leaking out, yeah."
"The truth is that everybody likes him and nobody wants to hurt him."
The whole point of this is that if people find out, they might not like him anymore, yeah. But Yahiko seemed so sure. Deidara turned to Itachi. "You can see how people really feel with your eyes, yeah. What do you think?"
"I have never seen any sign of ill will towards Hidan," Itachi said. "And many signs of genuine positive feeling, even among reserved people such as Sasori." Deidara shrugged and conceded to Itachi with a nod. They would use his suggested method, then.
"Now, what does slowly mean?" Nagato asked. "What should we start with?"
Itachi folded his fingers beneath his chin and thought. "It wouldn't do to start with a non sequitur," he said. "Begin with something familiar and known to everyone." He went silent as he tried to think of subjects that qualified.
"The vampires," Deidara said. "Everyone already thinks this is something about the vampires."
"Okay, the vampires," Nagato said. "Dei, Itachi. Pretend you don't know anything about prophets. All you know is that the vampires hate Hidan because they misunderstand Jashinism. But we go and talk to them, and convince them not to attack us. We might even be able to get them to rethink what they've misunderstood, which would solve the problem once and for all. Everything is just fine. Then Kakuzu has to go and tell them shocking news in a way that might piss them off. Now you don't know if they're going to attack or not."
"'Everyone, we would like to start off by saying this: There is nothing to worry about,'" Itachi said. "'The vampires are not going to attack us. They have a very good reason not to.'"
"'They're mad at Hidan,'" Deidara continued. "'But they can't attack Hidan, and they know that. They can't risk him getting involved. They'll stay away from us.'"
"At this point, someone will ask a question," Itachi said. "How can we possibly know they won't attack Hidan? Why not? What makes us so sure?"
"At this point, we should bring you two in," Nagato decided. "What do people know about your conversation with the demon?"
Itachi and Deidara glanced at each other. They shrugged. "I don't remember being asked about it, yeah," Deidara said.
"Because me and Nagato told people what you'd said," Yahiko remembered. "Um… What did we say? Nagato?"
"We knew about the dangers," Nagato said. "We wouldn't have said anything to make people scared of Hidan. Nothing about him being a prophet. But perhaps we mentioned that prophets exist? If we said anything detailed at all, we probably ran with my story about how there is a prophet around here and Hidan can pick up on its presence."
"I don't remember…" Yahiko shook his head. "I think we should start from the beginning. If I don't remember, why would anyone else?"
"So we'll remind people that you had a conversation with a demon," Nagato said. "And then you summarize what the demon told you."
"He started talking about prophets only after he realized Hidan was one, hm," Deidara said. "I think we're going to have to shuffle things around."
"'The demon told us about a special kind of being called a prophet,'" Itachi began. "'They are ludicrously powerful and shift the course of history just by existing. Nobody can reasonably fight one. We thought Hidan avoids religious topics because he wishes to avoid this being's attention. We were half right. As it turns out… Hidan is a prophet.'"
Nagato immediately generated a thumbs up. "That sounds perfect. Yes. That exact phrasing. So then we can segue from that to, 'Any questions?' Because you just know people are going to have questions."
Deidara fiddled with his ponytail nervously. "There are so many questions you could ask from what Itachi said, yeah. And we know this group never does the most straightforward thing. The discussion's going to go nuts, yeah. We can't plan a script for this part."
"How do we want to answer questions?" Nagato asked. "General guidelines only."
"Hidan's our friend," Yahiko said. "He would never hurt anyone. He has no idea about any of this, and he never will. We've met him when he had purple eyes before, and he's just as friendly even if he feels a little bit creepy. We have to remember the important things."
"Be as straightforward as possible," Itachi recommended. "As if you were describing something scientific. Address the fact that you have not been open about this as rationally as you can. Give your reasons and support them. 'We worried that anybody who found out would treat Hidan differently, which would hurt him.' If you act calm and sound calm, that will help others be calm."
Nagato took deep breaths. "Wow. I actually feel vaguely ready to do this." They all took a few minutes to breathe deeply and relax. Then Konan appeared and, in her levelest tone of voice, informed them that she had called a meeting.
Itachi
This is how the discussion actually went:
Kakuzu snarled at Nagato and Yahiko as soon as everyone had sat down in the backyard to one side of the fire. "Kisame tells me you two have a conspiracy going on. How long?"
"A while," Nagato admitted, "but for very good reasons, which we'll -"
"I thought you two were kind people." Kakuzu turned his gaze on Konan. "I thought you knew how we do things in this world. What the hell? Conspiracies? I didn't sign up for that crap."
"Kakuzu, shut up." Sasori had his eyes narrowed in a very determined way. "In case you haven't noticed, we're about to be inducted into the inner ranks of the conspiracy. If you jeopardize that, so help me god, …."
Kakuzu shut up. Kisame bared his teeth. Itachi activated the Sharingan, which now that he thought about it, he really should have done before they left the building. Better late than never. Kakuzu and Sasori were very open, so I doubt I missed much. But Kisame? When Itachi turned on the Sharingan, he saw that Kisame was practically foaming with rage. Uh oh. This will not help us ask for kindness and mercy. He saw several fatal flaws in their script now. One of them was that it assumed their audience was in a reasonable state of mind. Clearly that was not the case.
"What the fuck have you people been keeping from us? What does it have to do with Hidan?" Kisame demanded. "And you had better fucking explain why I'm supposed to think it's meaningless or somehow all my fault." Dear gods. Is that what he thinks? That we're going to gaslight him? No! Itachi's guts knotted so tightly that the thought of eating would nearly have made him throw up. He started to sweat in anticipation. What he feared happened: Kisame looked at him accusingly, with mistrust written all over him. Itachi looked away. He was not an easy crier, but he had to blink his eyes clear. I must be able to clearly see what is happening. Deidara's right. This could go in any direction.
"We would like to start off by saying that the vampires are not going to attack us because of what Kakuzu said," Nagato began. "We are not in danger."
"Obviously," Kakuzu snorted. "She was too busy going into shock to be angry." Itachi saw signs that Kakuzu was not as confident as he sounded. Likely this was a justification he had only just thought of in order to reassure himself. "Now get to the important crap. What have you been hiding?"
"Well…" Nagato hesitated. He was not prepared to dive headfirst into previously unexplored territory. That assumption had been made as much for their comfort as for the expected audience's.
Itachi came to the rescue. "It has to do with what Deidara and I learned in conversation with the incubus," he began. "His kind are aware of the presence of a very powerful being in this area. A kind of being with the power to shift the course of history merely by existing. A kind of being that, above all else, you do not want to anger, and whom it is pointless to attack. The vampires are also aware of this kind of being and have just as healthy a respect for their power. That is how we know they will not attack us."
Kakuzu huffed. He still looked impatient and unsatisfied, as if Itachi's words had not fulfilled his demand. Sasori was quicker to understand. "They won't attack us, no matter how angry Kakuzu might have made them, because we're under the protection of someone who even they are too scared of?"
Kisame shook with rage. "Cut the fucking vagueness! What are you talking about?"
Itachi remembered the part of their script that Nagato had called perfect. So some benefit did come from thinking of exact words, after all. "The incubus called this kind of being a prophet. A prophet's powers are religious in nature. That's why the demons know all about it. Hidan avoids and loses his memory of religious topics. Initially, we concluded that Hidan is capable of sensing this prophet and avoids these things in order to avoid attracting its attention." Itachi paused. "We were half right. In actuality… Hidan is a prophet."
That finally stunned the audience into silence. Itachi took the chance to breathe. "Hidan is a superpowerful thing that the vampires are terrified of?" Sasori asked slowly. "But… Why were they hostile to him? This whole thing started because they've been trying to do things to him."
"They didn't know, yeah," Deidara said. "It was the incubus who put it all together. He said being able to feel other people's feelings was an example of soul sense, and the way you can get Jashinist instructions by putting papers under his head is something only a prophet can do, yeah. The vampires didn't know about those things. They didn't know he was one until we told them."
"What, exactly, is a prophet?" Kisame growled. "Aside from all this vague crap about being really powerful."
Nagato said, "A prophet is what you get when a god and a human fuse together."
Itachi watched as Nagato said this. What kind of reactions he hoped for, he couldn't say. Just something other than Kisame's hurtful betrayed anger. He didn't see any of that, at least. Sasori went blank as if his higher mental functions had packed up and taken a holiday. Kakuzu looked shocked and, strangely, contemplative. Perhaps this is not a surprise to him. He has known Hidan for a very long time. He must have recognized that something about him was different. And Kisame's anger had evaporated, replaced by wariness and something that increasingly looked like fear. Uh oh.
A minute passed in complete silence. Itachi was fascinated watching Kakuzu. He saw all manner of completely unexpected and very encouraging things. Understanding. Regret. Kakuzu's arms stayed crossed, his eyes stayed narrowed, and his hands tightened on his arms. Anyone else would have thought he was his usual defensive self. But in Itachi's enhanced view, he saw a softer and wiser version of Kakuzu. That must be it. I never understood Kakuzu because I was trying to understand something that is made to be confusing. He makes people think he is grumpy and usually angry in order to throw them off. In actuality, he is intelligent and kind. I can understand someone like that, if only I could talk to him openly.
Sasori's mind returned from its holiday. He blinked and took a deep breath before speaking. "Did you just say Hidan's secretly half god?"
"No," Yahiko said. "I mean… Not exactly. It's not really like that. He's not secretly anything. He's not half anything. He's…"
If Ruta had been nearby, Itachi would have given him a giant bear hug. "It is as Ruta thought," he said. "Hidan has an alternate personality, and that alternate personality just so happens to be Jashin sama. They are as separate as possible. Hidan is himself. There is some connection, somewhere in the back of his mind where he does not know about it or control it. It is minimal. For the most part, they simply happen to share a body and nothing more."
"He's scared," Kakuzu muttered. "He's afraid of whatever can take parts of his life away, whatever can control him like a puppet on a string, and he panicked at the thought of finding out more about it. He doesn't want to know. He said he was a normal guy who didn't understand why he was being messed with."
"Yeah." Nagato shivered. "You can recognize who's in control by the color of their eyes. Jashin sama's color is blue. I talked to him once when he had solid blue eyes. Well no, not solid… It felt like I was giong to be dragged into them and torn apart and dragged along on some wild chase like my soul was tied behind a galloping horse. Only it gallops at a thousand miles per hour. Of course Hidan's scared. Jashin sama must have done something to filter him out, because there's no way his soul could be intact otherwise. If the barrier between them breaks down, he could stop existing. He can't be like Jesus was, both divine and not at the same time. This isn't the kind of god you can do that with."
"The incubus said that the term prophet as we know and use it is actually the very same usage of the word as he was using," Itachi explained. "We've just come to think the stories of their mythical powers are fictional, when they are not."
"What does this mean?" Kisame asked. His voice, like the rest of him, had holed itself up deep in a cave and was refusing to come out. If they weren't very careful, he would be entirely beyond reach and they would not be able to convince him of anything.
Itachi raised a hand to keep anyone else from speaking. He was the most qualified to attempt such a delicate operation. "As Deidara said, it is the origin of his ability to feel others' feelings," he said gently. "That is how he uses his ability to directly sense others' souls. It also explains why he is slightly more influential and convincing than he should be. Occasionally, he says things that he could not say without having knowledge that he does not have. These little blips are Jashin sama's knowledge seeping through, which is why he does not remember them. He is also immune to the influence of the symbol, because the barrier protects him from all examples of Jashin sama's power. He can have all of Original Hidan's powers without performing a single sacrifice. He does not have the ability to turn water into blood, blow up people with his mind, summon monsters, turn this town and everyone in it to salt, or anything along those lines." Itachi paused. "Based on what I've seen of the symbol and its effects, I doubt Jashin sama has any of those abilities. If he does, Hidan cannot access them. He can only access what little leaks through."
"'What little leaks through' includes the ability to manipulate us all without us even realizing it, even make us enjoy it." Kisame was not reassured. If anything, he had retreated deeper into his cave.
Itachi sighed. When other people were like this, it was pointless to try to convince them outright. He knew from his own experience that a passing comment could be greatly influential if it was allowed to sit in his mind and sink its roots in. "You do realize that everyone and everything in the world works like that," he told Kisame. "We are all molded by our environment. The only question is, are you molded to become something that makes you happier?"
"Once," Konan said softly, "when I had just entered this world, I briefly perceived that all of material reality was an illusion. I sensed what lay beneath it, concepts that materials such as stone and brick are only the expressions of. Itachi is correct. You need not fear Hidan. His influence is only a more concentrated version of the nature of reality, because the gods are reality itself."
Itachi did not need the Sharingan to see Sasori relax. "Just like what I saw," he murmured. "Wait. How could you have seen that? I saw it because my soul was partly out of my body."
Konan looked down at her hand. "It seems I have some ability to move my soul. I cannot move it far - certainly not outside my body. But perhaps just far enough to make contact. Or else something made contact with me." She did not elaborate.
Kakuzu shook himself and recovered some of his anger from earlier. "Why was there a conspiracy to keep this from us? I understand not bringing it up as dinner gossip, but a conspiracy is going too far."
"Is it?" Deidara asked. He pointed at Kisame.
Everyone looked at Kisame. The shark man was pale, his skin grayish instead of its normal blue. Everything about him was tense. Itachi deactivated his Sharingan. He no longer needed it to see the cave Kisame had retreated into.
Kakuzu narrowed his eyes at his friend. "Do not treat Hidan like a monster."
"He can fucking manipulate us like puppets," Kisame said. "Why did we join this group? Why did we fight the succubus? Why did we do any of that crazy shit? I barely even noticed that it was crazy." He started to shiver.
"It is understandable that you fear a god," Itachi said. "But please, don't take it out on Hidan. He doesn't even know of Jashin sama's existence and he did not ask to be this way. Something about our formation caused it. He is blameless."
"He didn't have blue eyes when he convinced me to give ninja life a shot," Kisame countered.
Itachi's heart beat fast. What he was asking Kisame to do was to extend mercy to the enemy. To open his heart and show kindness in the face of danger. That wasn't who Kisame was. He was always alert, always on guard against danger. To ask him to show mercy in the midst of warfare was akin to asking him to turn rocks to liquid. I hope Hidan will not be wounded too badly by one person rejecting him. I hope. But Itachi had just seen Kisame look at him in a rejecting way and experienced the pain for himself. He felt horrible in advance and wished there was anything he could do to prevent it.
There was a faint sound of scratching or dragging. Itachi looked up and saw the last thing he had ever expected to see. Jaws dropped open. Deidara had to be elbowed before he shuffled aside to make room for Hidan to sit. Hidan sat down awkwardly and started scratching the back of his head as soon as he was settled. He couldn't look at anyone there. Itachi reactivated the Sharingan and saw panic seething beneath the surface.
"Hidan." Nagato blinked. "I, um, didn't think you'd come. We held the whole meeting without you."
"I know," Hidan muttered. "I was on the roof looking for vampires. I just…wanted to know if everything was okay."
Itachi deactivated his Sharingan. Once again, it was no longer needed. Hidan was terrified and everyone knew it. He looked ready to jump up and run away.
"No," Kakuzu snapped.
Hidan twitched. "Huh?"
"I said no." Kakuzu's green eyes started to glitter. "You don't get a third chance. You don't get to run away and forget all about us, forget that this ever happened, as if it meant nothing. You are staying right here." He looked and sounded angry, but his words didn't seem to fit. Itachi activated the Sharingan long enough to see fear, which was what he expected to see. He understood where it came from. Running away and forgetting us? Is that what he would do if he was hurt too badly? Itachi was stunned. It didn't matter how he felt about a person. To be forgotten as if he had never mattered was the most hurtful thing he could imagine. Would Hidan really do that to them?
"Seconded," Nagato said, as shocked as Itachi.
"Thirded," Yahiko said. "No way."
Sasori shook his head. "And I thought the demon lady's reaction was over the top. No. Nothing you could do deserves that." He put a hand on Hidan's shoulder. "Surprising news isn't going to cut it, I'm sorry."
Hidan started to smile. "R-really?" His eyes started to drip. He raised one arm to wipe them. "Thanks, you… Aw, fuck." What he felt was too big for words.
Itachi blinked his eyes clear and glanced at Kisame. Kisame had not come out of his cave in the slightest. Everything about him was frozen and inflexible. He was not going to be kind. Hidan, I'm sorry. I did the best I could.
Hidan lowered his arm and sniffed. He no longer looked like he was ready to run for the hills. Then he looked at Kisame. Kisame looked away. For a second, the tension in the air was so thick nobody could breathe.
Then Kisame stood up. "I'll…I'll see you guys in the park on Sunday," he muttered. "Meantime, I'll investigate that place up north in the woods. See if there's enough there to make it livable."
His words were like a hammer blow to the gut. Nobody could speak. They watched him walk away in the direction of his car in silence. Before Itachi knew it, his cheeks were wet and there was nothing he could do about that.
Hidan took deep, ragged, painful breaths. Itachi felt the same. He crossed their little circle and gave Hidan a hug. Hidan started to cry.
"I understand now." Kakuzu nodded at Nagato, Yahiko and Konan. His own breathing wasn't too gentle. Neither was Sasori's. Come to think of it, the supposed 'conspiracy' wasn't really anything special. The three of them also had something they had agreed to never share outside themselves and Samehada. It would be wrong if Kisame left, a gaping hole that couldn't be filled. Would they never see Same again? That was unthinkable. It literally couldn't be imagined until now, when all of a sudden it could and it looked horrible.
Konan's mask was solid, not a single crack showing. "We will see him on Sunday." She turned to Nagato and Yahiko. "Now then. Night has fallen. There is still a mission that must be completed."
The diplomats looked at each other. How could they do it after receiving such a blow? "Reason," Nagato said. "She'll have to think clearly to understand." They would have to think clearly to speak. Speaking reasonably would rescue them from the murky morass of scary scenarios and hurtful questions that they were in. Yahiko nodded. Konan nodded as well. They understood her. It felt so right to be three and not two. Nagato could not remember how he had lived as just himself and Yahiko. Before Konan appeared he hadn't seen that there was anything missing, and now that she was there to fill the gap it was all he could see when he looked back. Clone or no clone, she belonged.
The circle dispersed. Before going to their rooms to put on their cloaks and make themselves presentable, Nagato and Yahiko grabbed Konan and wrapped her in a three-way hug. Thank the gods they were together, three and not two.
Konan returned the hugs, her throat tight. It was good that they had not come to appreciate this the hard way, as she had. She let them go and watched them leave, until she stood alone in the backyard with the fire.
Honestly, the thought that Hidan might run away again had never crossed her mind. She had all the information needed to know it was a possibility. But it was such a bad possibility that she refused it, blocked it out, filed it with houses tapdancing as something that could never happen. She turned and looked into the fire, and did not see the fire. Instead she saw shelter dogs, a pack of mutts brought together and shaped into a pack by circumstance. One day they would all go their separate ways. Would the same happen here?
She tried to refuse to think about it, but could not.
.
A/N: *sniff*
The event Konan describes happened in 'The Interrupters,' for anyone who doesn't remember.