A/N: I hope (I really hope) that this story's gotten clearer lately in terms of what is going on. I just reread the first chapter, and saw a brief allusion to something in Konan's past that was then danced away from, left untouched, just a bare hint and nothing more. I used to like playing like that. I've always liked confusion. When my family members don't know why I'm doing something, it makes me happy. I've noticed that I actively avoid clarifying myself in situations where I would try to be less confusing to a stranger. For strangers or others outside the home, I will explain what I'm doing and why. But not family members, except for my sister because she's proven that she will listen and respond nicely and actually be helpful.

I read a webcomic called El Goonish Shive, and the creator is very much like me. In one commentary, he mentioned that he doesn't like it when people don't know what's going to happen in his story and prefers to be clear enough that readers can logically infer what's going to happen next. My first thought was that I like that, too. It took a while. I had to become aware of a growing desire to be understood by people, to connect with people, instead of reveling in my weirdness and making fun out of the fact that I don't understand others and they don't understand me. Confusion is less fun now. I don't want to play that way anymore. So for a while now, I've been trying to embrace that method of telling stories, having everything make sense and look clear and understandable. I like it when things make sense, and now I'm more willing to share that with others. I don't have to confuse anyone anymore. (Except my family)

So, that's the logic behind recent changes in the way this story is told. Now on to the fun part!

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Kisame

Kisame drove all the way to the aquarium without remembering it. His head spun. His heart pounded for five different reasons, several of which contradicted each other, and his breathing did not calm him in the slightest. He parked where he usually did and used his keys to enter through the usual door. He did not care about being caught. His paranoia had gone on vacation. He didn't watch out for people. He didn't walk softly. In fact, his walk lacked coordination, possibly because he couldn't stop shaking. He felt ill. He felt sufficiently ill that he refused to think about why he felt this way. He thought only about his actions, about the next thing he must do and the next place he must go. Looking ahead was the only thing to do. He dared not look back.

As it turned out, there was nothing to watch out for anyway. He made it to the shark tank with no interruptions or complications. He did not look at the tank, instead going straight to the ladder and climbing it. He found that the tank was closed. Next move. Next thing. His eyes landed on barely-visible dark cords around the opposite side of the lid. He circled the lid and saw that they plugged into the lid itself, probably operating whatever mechanism opened it. He examined them as best he could. When he didn't find anything, he remembered that chakra glows, and channeled chakra into his palm to provide a faint light. It was enough to see a dark slit in one of the cords. He looked over at the mechanisms it plugged into, and kept looking. The lid. Closed. He could not have explained why he kept looking at the closed lid, only that it held his attention and did not let him go. Eventually he shook himself and turned back to the cord with the cut in it. He took all the chakra he had gathered in his palm and slammed a burst of chakra into the slit. The lid opened with a hiss.

Samehada poked his head out and warbled a greeting. Kisame said nothing. He went to the feeding platform, and Samehada crawled out of the water to meet him there, and he gestured for Samehada to climb onto his back and went down the ladder.

Samehada started to make questioning sounds. "I don't want to talk about it, Same," Kisame said. He retraced his steps out of the building.

By the time they got into the car, Samehada was making high-pitched fear sounds and thrashing. He didn't wriggle out of his seatbelt, but only barely. Kisame took his time plugging in his own seatbelt. "I said I don't want to talk about it. I'm not going to die. Nobody's dead. Stop worrying." Samehada settled for quiet whimpering.

Kisame put Samehada's distress out of his mind as he drove, to the point where he no longer heard it. Next place. He turned right, away from the base, then left to enter the forest. He turned on his high beams to light the way and drove slowly, keeping half his mind on lookout for shadowy animals suddenly darting into his path. The other half of his mind thought of where he was going.

Or maybe it was not half of his mind that he put to either task, but rather a little less than half. Some part of his mind must still have been in reserve, or else he would not have noticed the tire tracks in the path ahead of him. They curved to the right. Kisame turned his head to follow them off the path, onto another less well-maintained path that he had never noticed before. Its outlines were fuzzy from plant life growing in, but it was flat and packed and the leaves covering it were churned up by the tires of whatever vehicle had passed that way. Samehada chirped curiously.

"Not today, Same," Kisame said. He had a place to go, things to be doing. He released the brake and moved on, driving into the heart of the Hatake campground.

Some lizardlike people with 3 bottles of beer between them squinted into the light. They met him as he got out. "Do you guys mind if I park here for a few days?" he asked.

One of the lizard people recognized him. They had been there the day Ruta initiated a clanwide dispute. "Of course," they said.

He parked in the space everyone had used before, between two cabins. "Much appreciated."

The other lizard person narrowed their eyes in suspicion. "Don't you have somewhere of your own to park?"

Samehada whined again. Kisame shook his head. "I'm getting as far away from there as I can." Samehada continued to make sad sounds of confusion and distress. Kisame closed his eyes and hoped Same would be done soon.

"Is everything alright?" the first lizard person asked.

"No."

"Well…what isn't alright? Has something happened?"

"Nothing that you people need to worry about," he mumbled. "Excuse me. I have a long way to go before I can sleep." He turned away and walked out to the outer cabin, past the attendant wolves without a glance, past the cabin, and into the woods. Samehada stayed on his back the whole time, though the shark continued to question him every few minutes. The questions went unanswered.

"I don't think anyone's been to this place on foot," Kisame muttered. "This could take us a while." He didn't really believe that. The farther he walked, the more something inside him eased, and the something felt an awful lot like how he normally felt at the hotel. As long as it kept easing, as long as he kept heading away from the symbol, Kisame knew he would be satisfied no matter where he ended up sleeping tonight. He wouldn't stay up all night searching for a crummy shack when moss would do just as well.

As a result of keeping direction by the symbol, Kisame's path turned to the east. He would have ended up sleeping on moss if he had not crossed a trail. Kisame knew it was a trail by the sudden lack of plants brushing against his leg or squishing underfoot. He gathered chakra in his palm again and saw familiar tire prints. "Never mind. Looks like it is tonight, after all." Samehada got off his back to lick at the air around the tire prints. He shook his head. There was nothing recognizable.

Kisame followed the prints until they disappeared, then continued following the trail. The vehicle the prints belonged to loomed out of the darkness. It was a large sedan, typical in everything except its color. Even by faint chakra light, Kisame could see its glaring red-purple paint job. Was it shining? Kisame raised an eyebrow. Looks like someone actually wanted a hot rod, but had too practical a lifestyle to give up their storage space. He guessed whoever this car belonged to also drove too fast and flashed their lights at people. Pathetic loser material, in other words. Yet the car looked honestly well-maintained and was parked sensibly off to the side. Kisame saw why when he looked down the length of the trail and saw it narrow. No sign was needed to proclaim "Hikers Only."

Well, he was a hiker. So was the owner of this vehicle. Kisame wondered who they were. If he met them, he planned to avoid them like the plague. He thought idly about this imagined encounter as he walked. What does he look like? You just know with that kind of car, it's a guy. Probably one who's compensating for something. I bet he's balding.

Samehada yawned, and before he knew it Kisame was yawning too. It had been a couple hours, and the meeting was already held after nightfall. He rubbed his eyes. It was time to find a nice patch of moss and make himself comfortable. But… Well, he had to admit, the vehicle made him a little curious. Space had opened in his mind, permitting more than just the thoughtless desire to get as far from the symbol as possible. I'll call it quits in half an hour.

His internal clock told him only 20 minutes had passed when he reached the end of the trail. He picked up the pace as he spotted lights shining through the trees. The lights belonged to a tiny forest shack. There were also sounds coming from inside. They worried Kisame and made him step forward to find out if they were dangerous. They were not. Oh. Shit. She's not making those sounds because she's in pain. Um… He backed away. Fortunately, that wasn't the only shack. Somebody had cleared out a small campground. It was nothing like the Hatake campground. The shacks were small, not as well maintained, and scattered hither and yon in no discernible pattern. Trees grew between them. There was no obvious communal space like the Hatakes had. It looked…normal. And clearly normal things happened here. Nothing was suspiciously convenient. Nothing was suspiciously welcoming. Even the very awkward sounds of Mr. Hotrod getting laid were reassuring, because they indicated that this place was not like Hidan was. Kisame would not be suckered by something that lured him in with ease and comfort. Kisame took a deep breath and sighed. His shoulders relaxed for the first time all night. Samehada trilled happily.

Kisame headed for one of the other shacks and listened. None of the other shacks had any activity, but the people in them could just be sleeping. He asked Samehada to check for chakra. "Promise, I'll tell you what those sounds were. Just find us a place to sleep first."

Samehada tasted the air, shook his head and went to the door. Nobody was inside. Kisame turned the knob as quietly as he could, poked his head in, and verified that for himself. He closed the door behind them just as quietly and used chakra light to locate the bed. He was surprised when he all but fell into it. Damn, I'm more tired than I thought. "Those are the sounds humans make when they mate," he murmured. How can a pillow feel so good? This must be the kind of pillow they stock in Heaven. Or maybe the people there just sleep on clouds. There's barely a difference.

Samehada made another questioning noise. "No I don't know why," Kisame mumbled. That was the last thought he had before falling deeply asleep.

The vampires

Soye was normally very formal. Most vampires liked to be formal, as a way of guarding themselves against becoming the slightest bit bestial. "Bestial" described the vampiric humans, and it had been centuries since any vampire wanted to be the slightest bit associated with those. So the fact that Soye took Kivi and his kitten back to her house, unlocked the door, walked in first, and led them all to the bedroom without a word was very meaningful.

She did not issue an invitation to speak, yet Kivi spoke. And she let him. Formality was powerless to provide her any comfort now, when the whole world was falling apart. "They sounded so…reasonable," he said.

Yes. They did. The two humans had explained everything in the language of science, as if the culture that was handed down from mouth to mouth from master to apprentice over centuries could be reduced to genes and studied in a lab. The vampiric humans were beasts. That, they had agreed with. They were violent and destructive. Yes, the humans had agreed, it probably was true that some of them had been. Vampiric humans were bad. That, the humans had not agreed with at all.

Soye said nothing. She had failed. Since she had been told about the prophet, more than enough time had passed for her to go over the news and determine what importance it may have. But she had somehow failed to consider that this prophet could speak, or that he would speak. She should have predicted that the humans would use him as a second source of information about vampire history. She should have predicted that what he told them might not perfectly match what she believed. But she had not considered that anything he said would clash with what she believed. The large aggressive human was right. We were blinded by our bigotry all along.

"Do you believe it is accurate?" Kivi asked quietly.

"I believe in the words of the prophet," Soye said. "The rest…" The rest sounded reasonable, but it was all made up by the humans. They could be wrong.

Mraa yawned. Kivi picked her up and put her in his lap, fingers softly running through her fur. "I…" He started to speak, but then stopped. He had not been invited to speak. He lowered his head.

"Speak."

"I have been…feeling uncertain since we encountered the beast humans. They are genuine beasts, wolves and snakes and other hunters. Yet they were human. They were sensible. I hunted alongside them." He swallowed. "Vampiric humans are known to be beastlike. I never questioned that it cost them their human sensibilities. But could they, too…?"

He was taking a great risk by asking such questions aloud. Soye would have denounced him immediately on any other night. Of course vampiric humans traded away their senses as part of their beast nature. Of course their taste for blood was a consequence of devolving into ravening beasts, or else both were consequences of an inner flaw. Of course they were not fit for contact with true divinity. Of course they did not deserve anyone's favor, but rather pity. Of course, of course, of course. So many "of course"s that the red-haired human had called into question in less than 15 minutes. And his companion, the orange-haired human that had struck her as a prey beast the second she lay eyes on him. She knew he understood what she meant by a lamb to the slaughter. Yet he had supported his friend vigorously, arguing that the predators that surrounded him were not bad and should not be driven off. Either he was stupider than she had believed possible, or he had a reason to feel safe. Either way, something she believed was not true. So Soye did not denounce Kivi for questioning obvious truths. She would have had to denounce herself as well.

"If what they said is true," she began. "Then vampiric humans began with a need for blood. In order to cope, they became more bestial over time. They originate from the same need we have, but took a different path. We the path of culture, they of nature."

Kivi took a deep breath. "The humans may be…right. The vampirics, they are…our siblings."

Soye would have ripped his throat out and reassigned Mraa on any other night. Anyone would have done the same. That claim was downright blasphemous. But nothing in the world was certain, and now Soye saw how it could be true. There was no reason to think it was. But the limits on her mind were broken and the impossible was possible. She saw how it could be true.

"What should be done?" Kivi asked.

Good question. It had seemed so obvious what she should be doing. There were vampiric humans around and a traitorous god that encouraged them to violence. Eliminating the god's influence and taking out the trash would make the world a better place. But now, the first was impossible and the second might not even be desirable, and if it was it might not be the most desirable choice of a range of choices that suddenly existed where they had not before. What was her purpose now?

"Increased observation," she said. "From now on, I want eyes on the her - prophet, and his friends, and the beast humans. Their base must be located, and their movements charted. I do not care how many people this takes." She gave Kivi a look. He got up in a flash, bowed, and ran to spread the orders. Mraa squeaked indignantly at being woken from her sleep.

Soye checked the curtains, making sure that she would be safe if she should happen to fall asleep and not wake until past dawn. Then she lay on the bed. She kept sheets on her bed because unlike most of her kin, she did not find the upstairs beds to be useless. Being outside of her typical space helped her think. It helped her feel free.

For now, she used the bed to think about how much she should reveal and how quickly she should reveal it. Her people would certainly be shocked by the news, and would likely be angry at her for spreading blasphemy. How could she break the news? In order to do so, she would have to break their whole worldview the same way hers had been broken. Soye began to make plans for how she could gather her people all together and take a metaphorical sledgehammer to their world.

Itachi

The next morning, Itachi woke up slowly. Painfully slowly. It was a struggle to pull himself to the surface of awareness, as if he were trying to swim through tar. When he forced his eyes open, he felt like he was still halfway trapped in it. Fortunately, he always slept with his phone next to his pillow so he could know what time it was without having to get out of bed or keep bright lights shining in his face all night. After checking the time, he opened his phone and found an app to scroll through. He was awake in no time. The ability of cellphones to prevent sleep can be beneficial if used correctly. I wonder if there have been studies done on using blue light to treat drowsiness. Perhaps it has been studied as part of light therapy. He closed the group chat, which was sadly devoid of any new messages, and opened Google. Ah, yes. Of course light therapy would focus on blue light. But these results focus on using it to treat long-term disorders. What about using it the way I just did, as a short-term boost to wakefulness? I would like there to be studies on the long term effects of a regular practice of that.

As he put on a colorful shirt with dragons on it, he wondered if other people felt bad when they had troubles like this.

Itachi sat on the edge of his bed and checked the group chat again. Still no new messages. He glanced down at his shirt. He needed the colors and the dragons to remind him of hope. Itachi left the group chat and texted Kisame directly. Did you find somewhere comfortable to sleep last night? He then turned on notification sounds so he would know if (no, not if, when. I must have hope) he got a reply. And then he wondered what the hell he was going to play for the demon boy after a disaster like this.

Hidan

Hidan did not sleep well. He woke up tired. "Ugh." Then he remembered that Nagato and the others had told everyone all about something that made his heart pound painfully in fear, made him think of running away. Oh, shit. I gotta find Kakuzu. Kakuzu can fix this.

He found Kakuzu punching bags in the training room. Kakuzu's glee was obvious without special senses. That was reassuring. Kakuzu dropped out soon and approached Hidan. "What?"

"Is… That stuff you said last night, is it still true?" Hidan clasped his hands in front of his chest like a begging child.

"Yes."

"Oh."

Kakuzu looked over his shoulder. "Why don't you have your scythe? You always wear it."

Hidan had been feeling sufficiently off that he hadn't noticed the feeling of not having his scythe with him. "Oh, shit. I didn't notice. Gimme a sec." He raced back to his room and got his scythe. When it settled against his back, it felt like part of his soul fell into place. Ahhhhh. That's good shit. He returned to Kakuzu. "Thanks!"

Kakuzu looked at him oddly. "You didn't notice that you didn't have it with you."

Hidan scowled. "So what?"

Kakuzu didn't answer. He continued to stare at Hidan for a while, thinking. Then he put a hand on Hidan's shoulder. "Come on." He steered them out of the room.

This is weird. This is super weird. That wasn't how they interacted. Even when he was a child, Hidan pulled on Kakuzu's arm and Kakuzu followed. That was how they were. Kakuzu had occasionally given him a restraint hug, but that was all. He did not put a hand on Hidan's shoulder and steer him around. That wasn't right. But I kinda don't mind?

"This is weird," he told Kakuzu. "Could you, I dunno, do something normal?"

Kakuzu took his hand away and replaced it with an arm slung over Hidan's shoulders. "Like this?"

"Huh. Yeah." A wave of relaxation rippled down his whole body. That's what my worst fears look like, Hidan realized. Never having arms over shoulders with anybody ever again. He did not mind not knowing where Kakuzu was leading him. But when they got far enough into the forest that Kakuzu had to let go in order to more efficiently navigate obstacles, he started to get curious. "Hey Kakuzu? Where're we going?"

"Just a little farther." They kept walking. When Kakuzu looked back and could see no sign of anything familiar, he stopped.

Hidan looked around. They weren't anywhere exciting. The place where he'd turned a whole part of forest into sawdust with Konan was still a ways away. The stream was a long way to the right, and the lake a very decent walk away. The spot they stood in was just some random place. "What are we doing here?"

Kakuzu closed his eyes. "Show me something interesting."

Hidan began to melt. "Are you asking me to do one of my favorite things so I'll feel better?"

Kakuzu looked sideways at the scythe. "That thing literally contains part of your soul."

Hidan giggled. "Ah, go fuck yourself!" He punched Kakuzu in the shoulder and led the way to the place of fallen branches.

"How did a tornado strike in the middle of the forest without us hearing it?" Kakuzu asked. He and Hidan stood on the edge of an impenetrably dense stand of young trees growing beneath older trees that looked like giant claws had been dragged across them. Their bark was shredded, leaves still ragged, and the missing ends of branches stuck out everywhere. The fallen wood was gone, but it was obvious that the snake boy had been at work here, so that was to be expected. "A tornado that leaves unusually straight lines…"

"This is the reason I practice throwing my thing out near that pond on the other side of town." Hidan looked around. It had been a long time since he was last here. He saw it almost as Kakuzu must have. She was right. Me and my scythe are a fucking hurricane.

"Is there anything else to see around here?" Kakuzu asked.

Hidan sighed. "This is where me and Konan were that day you called, all angry and shit. Remember?"

Kakuzu murmured, "I remember."

Hidan turned around. "We were leaving, going this way. Walking and talking. I stopped walking at some point. I started remembering the road and leaves. Running away. I sat down, I think, and Konan took over for me. I couldn't do it."

Kakuzu crossed his arms. "I'm sorry."

Hidan stared up at him. He worked his jaw back and forth, trying to find something to say. "'Sokay." But it was far more than that. Kakuzu was apologizing. That was amazing, so amazing that Hidan was not brave enough to put it to words. "It's fine."

Kakuzu turned to face the same way. "After the fight, I realized I sounded like the kind of scorn that made you run away. I regretted that. I don't remember if I told you."

Hidan nudged him. "Hey, what's this touchy feely crap?"

"When Kisame left…" Kakuzu crossed his arms especially tight. "I'll admit it. He is my friend. It reminded me of some things. I'd rather...not lose somebody if I don't have to."

Hidan felt himself curling up into a little ball inside. That was too much. Too exposed. Too vulnerable. Goosebumps rose on his arms. "You think I should talk to him?" he asked as a distraction. "Even just a little?"

Kakuzu shook his head. "We stubborn people do not like to be prodded. Stay away from him. He might talk himself into coming back."

"Yeah, I thought so. But, like, what do I do? I can't have two nights of bad sleep. I like my fucking sleep."

"Aren't you the one who's always being an optimist?"

"Why do I have to be it all the time?"

Kakuzu nodded. "Fair enough. Remember, he's at a place where we know other ninja people sometimes visit. With the kind of luck we have, someone there will remind him of the value of friendship and he'll come running right back. Just you wait."

Kisame

Kisame woke up, yawned, and stretched. Ahh. He rubbed lingering sleep out of his eyes and looked around. This isn't my room. Oh, right… I left. Because Hidan's secretly been manipulating me, manipulating everyone, this whole time. Kisame tightened his fists. Hidan was friendly and weird. He was nice. That was why this betrayal hurt as much as it did. I was comfortable around him. I let my guard down. And he steered me into fighting a fucking demon. What the hell? Sure, everyone was so careful to explain that it wasn't really Hidan. But Hidan didn't lose his memory after talking to Kisame. Those were all his own words. He'd orchestrated everything without anybody even realizing. Kisame shivered. I am never letting my guard down ever again.

Samehada warbled. With a couple waves of his tail, he woke up. He trilled and came over to nuzzle Kisame's shoulder. Except Same. He's a shark. I can't keep things from him. Kisame scratched along Samehada's dorsal fin. "Hey, Same." Samehada licked the side of his face. He seemed perfectly happy. Why is he happy after the way I dragged him out to the middle of nowhere with no explanation? He was worrying like crazy, and I barely noticed. Guilt hit Kisame like a boulder to the gut. "I'm sorry."

Samehada made a questioning noise. Kisame chose to interpret it as What for? instead of So are you finally going to explain? The first was much more Samehada's style. I don't deserve him. "I'm sorry I dragged you out here and didn't tell you why or what was wrong. I'm sorry you worried."

Samehada nuzzled him again and rumbled into his shoulder. He's comforting me? I really don't deserve him. Kisame pulled his shark in for a hug. "To put it in a way you'd understand… I found out Hidan has a lot of power over me. Over everybody. He's been using it this whole time to make me do things I didn't even want to do, and I didn't notice because he's that powerful. It scares the crap out of me."

Samehada made a series of questioning noises. Hidan's one of his favorite people. He must be so confused. "You know how the water pushes and pulls on you?" Kisame said. "I thought I was on dry land, but it turns out I was actually underwater being pushed and pulled the whole time."

Samehada made some small upset noises. "He doesn't hate us," Kisame said. "He's not… It's complicated." He hugged Samehada tighter. Same…

Samehada licked the bottom of his chin. Kisame chuckled. "Thanks." He let go. "I guess we should see what's going on around here."

Upon exiting the shack, Kisame beheld a most unusual sight. An older man reclined on a sun chair several feet away, with an umbrella casting shade over him. Kisame looked up. It was mostly overcast. He approached slowly, scuffing his feet on the dirt so the man wouldn't be surprised. "You okay?"

The man winced and rubbed his forehead, but smiled. "I'm fine. This is just the price I have to pay for a magical night with a beauty!" He sighed, eyes glazed over and tongue sticking out.

Kisame's eyes darted up to the trail he could see disappearing into the trees. Oh. This is that guy I heard last night. He looked at him again. Huh. I thought he'd be pathetic and balding. He's actually tall, muscular, and has plenty of hair. He even has a ponytail.

Samehada made questioning noises at the man. "Same," Kisame said warningly. "Humans don't like to talk about mating publically where anyone can hear." He turned to the man. "My shark doesn't know much about human life."

"Your what?" The man sat up too quickly and winced before looking at Samehada. Samehada chirped a greeting. The man blinked as if to clear his eyes. "This is even worse than that time with the frogs…"

Kisame's eyes widened. He's not an NPC. Who was this guy, then? Kisame took a third look at him. Tall, muscular, big head of white hair, likes women. How old is he? I can't tell. Maybe as old as I am.

The man held his hand out to Samehada. Samehada nuzzled his hand. "Haha! You're cute, aren't you?" Samehada nodded Yes.

What am I doing? Kisame cast his thoughts aside. The ninja life was something Konan had shoved them into, with Hidan's help. Paranoia was a holdover from his original, who he disliked for the same reason he now shied away from Hidan. I don't want to be under their influence anymore. I want to just relax.

So far from the base, he could. Kisame took a deep breath and stopped wondering about who the man was. Could he not just enjoy the pleasant company of a stranger? Kisame looked around. "You got another chair?"

The man indicated that one could be found in his cabin. Kisame opened the door, expecting the worst. To his relief, there were only a few items with images of beautiful women on them, and all vaguely clothed. He got the chair and got out. As he unfolded it, he inspected it for stains. He didn't see any. I'm still gonna be glad for wearing thick pants, he decided as he gingerly sat on it.

The man laughed as Samehada licked his fingers. "You're a lot nicer than those frogs!"

Ignore that. "Same, stop licking his fingers," Kisame said. "You, uh, don't know where they've been."

The man burst out laughing, which quickly turned into groaning. He held his head in both hands. "Jeez. I hate hangovers." He reached out for a small bag next to his chair. Kisame handed it to him. He rummaged around desperately, pulling out energy bars and Gatorade, which he proceeded to stuff into his face as fast as possible.

"Does that work on hangovers?" Kisame asked.

The man lowered his hands. "I don't know, but it's a great placebo!"

Samehada wiggled onto the chair and into Kisame's lap, forcing him to recline on it the same way the other man was. They sat in silence for a while. Then the man asked, "So what brings you out here? A romantic getaway?"

Kisame grimaced. "Ugh. No. I have significantly more important things to worry about."

"What? There is nothing more important than a beautiful woman! Unless women aren't your type."

"No, no, I do like… God fucking dammit." Hidan talked to me about female sharks once. Does everything lead back to him? How the hell did he work his way into my life so quickly and I didn't even notice? "I have a lot of personal troubles to deal with, okay? I am not in a state to be dating right now."

"What troubles?"

"A friend I thought I could trust turned out to be manipulating me. He's so good at it I didn't even notice." Kisame closed his eyes. And Itachi said everyone does that. Is there nobody I can trust?

"What did he do?" the man asked. He was primed to expect a devastating betrayal worthy of Shakespeare.

Samehada whined in confusion. Kisame paused. Well… He hasn't tried to kill me or anything. "He convinced me to overturn my whole life for the sake of a bipolar nutjob who made some pretty out-there claims."

"Uh oh. And then what happened?"

Kisame paused again. How much do I say? "I got dragged into a fight that technically he was the only one involved in. I stayed in the same building as her, the bipolar lady, even after she stole my friend's laptop. I got really into the lifestyle he sold me on. I was making other big life changes, too."

"And what happened?" The man was getting impatient. "Come on, get to the juicy part already."

I just told him the juiciest parts. Kisame had nothing more scandalous to report. That was as bad as he could phrase it. He opened his eyes. "Well… We drove off the lady he was fighting. The crazy lady went back to normal and gave my buddy his laptop back. She never stole any of my stuff. I learned things about myself. I discovered some long lost family I never knew I had."

"That's it?" The man sighed. "His big 'manipulation' was just dragging you along for an adventure? I thought he'd swindled you out of your life savings or something."

"He swindled me out of the nice, perfectly comfortable life I had and tossed me into this pool of insecurity. I haven't been sure of who I am or what I want for weeks," Kisame argued.

"Sounds like my teenage years," the man muttered.

"And I didn't notice," Kisame repeated. "I didn't know he was getting me to go along with all of this. I thought I had some degree of control over my life. Apparently I don't."

The man frowned. "Are you sure you're angry at him for taking you on an adventure?"

"I am not an adventurous person," Kisame said. "And I did not ask to be dragged along on any kind of adventure. Of course I'm angry at him for that."

"Really? Because that's the 17th time you've mentioned not being asked and not knowing. Adventures aren't so bad. You just wish he'd gotten your consent first."

Really? Would I be fine with it if I'd known he was influencing me the whole time? Kisame tried to imagine himself knowingly accepting someone else's influence. It was difficult. I like to make up my own mind. If I had known from the start, I wouldn't have joined at all.

"He never would have gotten my consent," Kisame said.

The man groaned in sympathy. "Oh, now I get it. Jeez, couldn't you have led off with, 'He raped my life'? The story's so much more exciting when you phrase it properly."

Kisame twitched. I hate that phrasing. No. "So, onto a completely different topic that has nothing to do with my problems whatsoever: what are you doing up here?"

"This is the ideal place for a romantic getaway!" The man proceeded to describe the woman he had been with last night, carefully skirting anything that would make Kisame uncomfortable. "You don't have to make it serious," he told Kisame. "Some women don't require a date, if you know what I mean."

"I know what you mean. You're saying, 'I am untrustworthy and you should never listen to any advice I give about romance.'"

The man laughed. He only winced a little, and kept chuckling. The hangover must have been getting better. "Ah, maybe you shouldn't. I've spent 50 years on this planet knowing her from childhood, and I still haven't managed to win over the love of my life."

"Sorry."

"Don't be! We've always been great friends. She makes me laugh, even if she has yet to flirt with me back." Wow. He really does seem happy. I thought unrequited love always hurt.

Samehada made a series of curious sounds. He was really getting into the older man's story. Kisame wondered what about it interested the shark.

The man watched Samehada. Slowly, a grin spread over his face. "Haha, looks like someone thinks my advice is worth taking! You've got a lady shark of your own you'd like to be pals with, haven't you?"

Samehada stopped making sounds or moving. He hummed for a while, then slowly shook his head No.

The man froze. "Oh. Sorry." He lay flat on his back and looked away from Kisame and Samehada. "Well, I don't have much to say anyway. I can only say one thing: don't keep it a secret. She's always known I liked her, ever since we were kids. We joke about it. It lightens the mood."

Samehada made quiet thinking sounds. The man continued to look in the opposite direction. And Kisame blinked, because he had no idea what the hell was going on. Same was interested in hearing about unrequited love? Really? Why? Was he right? Does Same have something going on that I don't know about? Kisame had never thought about that before. Samehada wasn't like any other shark. There was no other shark of his species. So the idea of Samehada having a mate had never occurred to him. Does he want a mate? Kisame had never thought his shark might want that before.

Samehada trilled sweetly and licked at Kisame's chin, rumbled directly into his chest. There he goes, comforting me again. I really don't deserve him. Kisame scratched near his dorsal fin. "Thanks, Same. I get stressed a lot. Without you, I'd have gone insane ages ago."

The man winced. Samehada sighed. Then he went to sleep, because together they had the body heat of a full-blooded human Kisame's size and nothing was wrong and he was comfortable. Kisame found himself relaxing into the chair. He was human, so his brain would not allow for napping so shortly after waking up from his main sleep. But he could relax and lie as still as if he was asleep, and wonder if this was a dream.

His phone buzzed. Kisame checked it slowly. Itachi had texted to ask him if he had found someplace comfortable to sleep. Kisame texted him back with one hand: Yeah, I'm alright. Nothing was wrong.

.

A/N: This line, "together they had the body heat of a full-blooded human Kisame's size," is a repetition of a line that was said at the end of Kinship, chapter 16. That's how long I've had this thing between them worked into the story. Literally since the beginning. I've just been dancing around it for way too long, and honestly, from my current perspective that annoys the heck out of me too. I thought it would take a while to be resolved, but with other characters being more clear about what they think is going on and why, maybe we can just get ON with it. I got a review on one of my other stories, the good one, a few weeks ago. It said that some of my setup was close to getting ripe, but it wasn't a major problem yet. That story had less than 30 chapters at the time, many of them shorter than the chapters of this story. I have no idea how I have any followers on this story. I haven't exactly been kind to you. I'm sorry. Learning to consider other people while considering myself, that considering others can be part of considering myself because I am connected to other people after all, is something I've been learning about only recently.

I will do my best to be kinder to my readers in the future.