A/N: Three. Years. Honestly, I planned for Hidan to do this sooner into their relationship, but better late than never I guess.

Huh. I don't seem to have anything to say. Well, enjoy the chapter.

Oh, I can say this: I know nothing about origami.

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Nagato

Hidan crept through the halls, looking both ways before crossing an intersection. He had gone shopping and purchased supplies for dinner. But he had already visited the kitchen and supposedly emptied the bags he carried them home in. So why was he looking both ways, and why did the bag he held in one hand swing slowly as if it was not empty at all? Nagato stepped back into the sunroom. "Itachi, I think I'm going to have to drop out. Give my score to Konan."

"Is that the usual procedure for leaving a card game?" Konan asked. She had joined Kakuzu and Itachi's game at nearly the same time Nagato had. The three of them still sat behind Nagato in a circle on the plushy carpet.

"No." Nagato left the rest of the explanation to someone else. He crept out of the room and closed the door behind him. He looked both ways before crossing the intersection, and listened. Sasori and Yahiko are accounted for. Kisame? Samehada? Wherever they were, it wasn't there. He skittered across and knocked softly on Hidan's door.

It took several seconds before Hidan answered. "Yeah?"

"It's Nagato. Can I come in?"

"Sure, gimme a sec." Hidan unlocked the door. Nagato entered, closed the door behind him and relocked it. He turned around after relocking the door and saw red. A big sheet of red, filling his whole field of view. What is it? Is it paper? Hidan lowered his arms. He was, in fact, holding a pack of red paper. Other colored packs lay on his bed. "I'm making an origami present for Konan," he whispered. "No telling."

Nagato nodded and zipped his lips. They sat on the bed. Nagato picked up the packs of paper and went through them. Red, white, orange, blue. Am I sensing a theme here?

"That Jiraiya guy we met on Sunday was wearing a red shirt," Hidan said. "A big red and white frog, with a little sun and moon and flower inside its mouth. To remind her of home."

Nagato's throat squeezed shut. After the way Yahiko had turned his back earlier in favor of Sasori... "I'll help. Let me search for instructions."

Making a sun shape, a flower shape, and a crescent moon was easy. Hidan made several of each and chose the best one, then made a couple more to choose from. Meanwhile, Nagato brainstormed ways one could create an origami shape that was large enough to fit three others inside it. He could not find instructions for such a task in his research. It would have to be multiple shapes fitted together. That's the only way it could work. A single piece of paper isn't large enough to make that. "No more moons," he declared. "We're going to need all the red paper."

First, they discussed which shapes they might need. "One for the head, and...another for the legs? No, that doesn't sound right. Might need three parts. Fuck!" Then, how they might fold these shapes into being, neither of them having any practical experience with origami. "We might need more paper than this..." The verdict: it would be a while before Konan got her present.

"Gotta keep these babies safe," Hidan said as he swept his chosen sun, moon and flower into a drawer. "Hey wait a second." He sat down on the bed and squeezed his eyes shut. A clone appeared next to him. Then, another. Then a third. Hidan opened his eyes, looking woozy. "I don't think I should split my chakra any more than that if I want to think straight."

Nagato poked the nearest clone. It sniffed and moved away from him. "They're solid."

"More solid than the air clones, which is all I need." Hidan handed out paper. "Plus they help me learn. I get all their memories when they go poof."

Nagato blinked. "Did you just describe the most useful jutsu ever?"

Hidan looked at his clones. "Maybe?"

"Seriously?"

"What? I'm not gonna go all goggle-eyed at something I invented. I'm not that easily impressed."

Nagato shook his head. "Only you would call the ability to live multiple lives 'not that impressive.'" He began to fold. To save paper, they had agreed that they would fold and refold the same sheet of paper until it tore at first, while they were still figuring out how to create the general shape of a frog's head and legs.

By the time they got too hungry to continue, they both had paper cuts. Hidan sucked his and waved at the clones to disperse. "Huh. Clone 3 got some good ideas."

.

Eating dinner with Yahiko was awkward. Nagato enticed him away from everyone else, into his room. If there was going to be awkwardness, the last thing he wanted was to make it group awkwardness.

Yahiko rubbed his head. "Sasori gave me some good advice."

"What was it?"

"He said I should delete some words from my vocabulary. Things like 'good' and 'bad.' Oh no, I already forgot." Yahiko smacked his forehead. " It was...useful advice?"

"Do you really think changing the way you talk will change the way you think?"

"Yeah. It shou - I mean...it... I think it will." Yahiko sighed. "Where'd you get those cuts?"

Should I tell him? He's one of us. Of course I should. Nagato held out his hand. "They're paper cuts. Hidan's trying to make an origami present for Konan."

"At least they're easy to heal." Yahiko grinned. The cuts had entirely vanished. "I sho - um... It would be a... I mean... I want to practice healing more."

"Wow, it really does require you to rethink everything you're trying to say. That last sentence you said takes personal responsibility for wanting things in a way that the other two don't."

"You think so?" Yahiko giggled. "Yeah, I think it really will help."

They finished their dinner. Nagato cleared his throat. "How does it feel? Last week on the job."

"I don't know. Not very different. The last day might feel different."

"How are your coworkers taking this?"

"They're sad to see me go. They like me." Yahiko looked down. "But I know this was the right thing to do."

Nagato's heart beat uncomfortably. He looked down too, because it was hard to face Yahiko now. "Was hanging out with Sasori the right thing to do?"

"Yeah. He..."

Nagato put on a smile. "Glad to hear it. Your sense of right and wrong is as accurate as ever."

"I'm sorry I turned my back on you," Yahiko whispered.

"It's fine."

"No, it's not. I didn't mean to be rude. I just needed some space." Yahiko used his hands to outline a box in midair. "That's what Sasori's good at. He doesn't care so much about what I do. I won't upset him, so I can explore all kinds of things. But it's not like I was alone; he's still there to get ideas from. It's really nice."

"You're afraid of upsetting me?" You can't feel safe around me? But I haven't even told you.

"Well, yeah. You're my best friend. Best friends care a lot about each other. I..." Yahiko bit his lip. "I quit my job because my boss was nice to me. Too nice. I felt all this pressure to try to not put a burden on her, and it was too much. I'm starting to think that maybe it's not bad to not really care about another person. Maybe that can be good sometimes." He facepalmed. "No! I forgot again!"

Nagato swallowed, but it didn't help the tightness in his throat. He already feels like I'm putting pressure on him? And I haven't even told him how I feel. If the pressure was so bad it made him quit his job, how could I even think about adding to it? In trying to follow his own dreams, was he being a bad friend?

"You're my...um..." Yahiko started to sweat. "Um...l-longest friend?"

I really, really don't want to know this. But I really, really do. "Why didn't you say closest just now?"

The awkwardness turned crushing, piercing, like being squeezed in a scorpion's claws. I should not have asked that. "Nevermind. Just forg -"

"Well, I don't know, maybe, um, you know, there could be, like, different levels of *mumble*, and *mumble*, and maybe that's not exactly the, um, because of *mumble mumble mumble.*"

Nagato blinked. "What?"

"Hidan told me he's in love with me," Yahiko blurted.

What?!

"And, maybe when someone makes that kind of really serious and really heartfelt and emotional confession to you, maybe that makes you closer than someone who hasn't." Yahiko's face was bright red. "I...I think. Sorry."

Nagato's mouth hung open. His mind took a nice vacation. It went to a nice beach, danced with a handsome young man, and returned with three souvenir t-shirts. Then it went back to work. "How did that feel, when he told you?"

"I worried that it was going to make things awkward, and that I would hurt him," Yahiko said. "But he's Hidan. Nothing is ever awkward around him. And he told me he likes being around me even though I don't feel the same way, and I shouldn't deny his choices, so... We hung out. It was nice, and I didn't hurt him. I think it really is okay."

"But didn't you say that you couldn't stand the idea of a guy being interested in you?"

Yahiko's cheeks flamed up again. He made incoherent squeaking sounds. "It was different. It was different. Um... So how about that subject change?"

What? He wasn't terrified when Hidan told him that? He didn't run away or end the friendship? They hung out like normal? Can I do that? But no, he said it's because Hidan's Hidan. Does this mean I have hope? Does it not? Nagato was desperate to press for more. But the way Yahiko squeaked and the way he ducked his head, trying to make himself look small, like a lamb cringing before a hungry lion, stopped him. Nagato never wanted to see him look so afraid. "Do you think you could be a dog?"

"A dog?" Some of the redness faded. "A dog... Dogs are nice. They comfort people. Maybe I could. Yeah. A dog." He stopped cringing.

Nagato let out his breath. Whew. He was so scared just now. He held one of Yahiko's hands. "What kind of dog would you be?"

"A golden retriever," Yahiko said immediately.

Jonesy. "Yeah. That's exactly the kind of dog you would be."

Itachi

Itachi studied his cards silently. Kakuzu and Konan did likewise. Eventually, when she determined that a long enough time for him to compose himself had passed, Konan asked, "Would you like to say more?"

The discussion of informal card rules had segued straight to Sasuke. Even Itachi was surprised at how quickly Sasuke came to his mind. He thought he'd put that topic to rest in his mind earlier that morning. Apparently not. "I miss him," Itachi said. "But I know that I can never see my little brother again without another version of him dying. I have decided to hope that I do not see him for a long, long time. Even if it hurts."

"What's he like?" Kakuzu asked.

"I don't know. He was only eight when I left." People change so much as they grow. Personalities can warp and shift so much. The Sasuke I knew, like my home, is gone forever.

"Why did you leave home in this world?" Konan asked.

"I'm not sure." Itachi's brow wrinkled. "I suppose it was a temporary bout of madness, brought on by too much pressure to assume responsibilities I wasn't ready for. I said extremely hurtful things to people I loved. I got angry, enraged, and you both know that is not my nature. I wasn't myself."

"A temporary bout of madness. Uncharacteristic behavior." Konan looked from card to card. "That fits."

"Did my original have a temporary bout of madness?"

"I believe I have already described how he seemed not to fit with the rest of the Akatsuki, who had all done terrible crimes. Yet he left his village after, supposedly, performing a terrible crime. He may have."

"Supposedly?"

"He was said to be the only one responsible. But the act in question had deep political ramifications. It's not impossible that he had encouragement, help, or even was innocent."

Itachi would have liked to believe that his original was innocent. But he remembered the deeply disturbing past behavior he had engaged in without even noticing how disturbing it should have been. If he could be so unlike himself without even noticing, then there was no way his original had remained completely innocent. "No. He was definitely responsible, at least in part."

"Do you remember receiving any form of assistance?"

Itachi thought hard. It was not unlikely that, in this world, a partner in literal crime could have translated to someone who gave him a ride or loaned him some money after he left. "No. It was after Thanksgiving; my best friend had just died, so I stayed in my room instead of join the holiday. My father pressured me, saying I should have eaten with my family and allowed them to support me. After two days of this, I couldn't take it anymore. I came downstairs when I knew Sasuke wouldn't be home yet, and I told my father very hurtful things. They weren't even true. I only wanted to hurt him. I told him that my family was a bunch of sarcastic, nasty idiots with a superiority complex who would never have supported me in a million years. Everybody I could say bad things about, I did. I even divulged every secret I happened to know, which is a kind of betrayal that it chills me to think of today. Then I said I never wanted to live near these disgusting people ever again, grabbed the backpack I had hastily packed, and ran away. I got on a bus. Then I walked. Scrounged in dumpsters so I could spend all my money on bus tickets until I was sure I was far enough away to feel safe." Itachi blinked. He hadn't intended to relive the past. But like flashbacks in movies, it had come upon him as soon as he started talking. "I do not recall receiving assistance of any kind at any point."

Konan and Kakuzu watched him. Their cards lay facedown in front of them. Kakuzu raised an eyebrow. "Nice."

Konan nodded. "So he did act alone. Interesting."

Itachi watched them back. Thank the gods. Hearing the terrible things I did to my own family has not made them upset with me. "I would rather this was not widely shared."

"Why?" Kakuzu asked. "I never thought you could stand up to obnoxious assholes and show them where to put their overinflated superiority complexes. You never seemed that strong. I'm impressed."

"It was not right," Itachi said. "I was temporarily insane and lashing out. I spilled secrets that were not mine to share. I betrayed trust. The only member of my family I didn't betray or insult was Sasuke. And now, the only family I have...is this one. I don't want anyone to be horrified at me. I don't want anyone to fear that I could harm them that way again."

Konan gave Kakuzu a look. "There are people here who would not accept such cruelty towards a housefly."

Kakuzu looked away. "Fine. But I still think you're overreacting."

Play resumed. Konan won the round. Between her own skill and Nagato's donation, she was winning. Neither Itachi nor Kakuzu complained about this. This game was only something to pass the time with, after all. Two rounds later, Konan was declared the winner, and they all got a chance to stretch their legs and get dinner started. At this time Yahiko and Sasori were still gone, whatever Nagato had seen had led him elsewhere, Hidan had put ingredients away and left, and Kisame and Samehada were nowhere to be found. What the hell was everybody doing?

Samehada

Kisame had never returned to the base at all. He had spent the car ride describing his exciting new life choices to Samehada. As a result, when he crossed through the suburb and reached the fork in the road, he turned right. Today was a day for being with people and making new friends, apparently.

Samehada trilled with joy. Why was Human Cousin acting so odd? Who cared! It was good to be with the Animal People in their tasty home full of happiness and togetherness. Happy yes good love yes!

Kisame pulled into the parking space, parked, got out, and looked around. "That one," he said. "Oh yeah. I know that roof." He knocked on the door of a cabin, and a lizard person answered. "Hi. Is Ruta in?"

The lizard person stepped aside. Without her saying anything, Ruta appeared in moments. "Hey! You came for a visit!" He was grinning from ear to ear, and did not have his laptop with him. He stepped out of the cabin without it. "Hey, Sammy." Samehada chewed on his offered hand and rumbled. It was happy chakra, and happy chakra always tasted good.

Kisame nodded at the lizard person. She smiled at him and softly closed the door. Ruta was sitting on the top step of the cabin stairs letting Samehada lick his face. Kisame joined him there. "How've you been?"

"I really like being in the lizard cabin," Ruta said. "It's quieter than the tiger cabin. They go to bed earlier. So much more restful. And it doesn't affect how much fun I can have when I want to have fun, because I do all of that outside the cabins!"

Samehada trilled and nuzzled his shoulder. Curious Tiger Person was nice and should be happy. Friend you yes. Curious Tiger Person blinked away tears. "Aw, thank you."

"He likes you," Kisame observed.

Ruta patted Samehada's head. "It's an honor. I'll do my best to be worthy of it."

"Wanna go to the outer cabin?" Kisame asked. "I came here because I'm feeling unusually sociable today." Ruta nodded, so they set off to the outer cabin. Samehada slithered across the ground on his own. He stuck his tongue out. So many interesting tastes! None of them were scared or angry, which was very good. This place where the Animal People were was a wonderful place and Samehada really wanted it to stay that way. As he approached the outer cabin, the wolves resting under the porch raised their heads to watch him. He warbled a greeting. Their tails began to swish. They knew him. Samehada became curious about what it was like to rest under the porch the way they did. He trilled Question? and wriggled his way under the porch to join them. The first thing he noticed was the warmth. Lots of warm wolf bodies pressed against him made him very, very warm. He made a deep rumble that resembled a purr. The second thing he noticed was the air. It smelled of wolf and tasted of wolf chakra, so thick that even a human would be able to sense it. Samehada made happy noises. This space under the porch was a very good den. Then he wriggled his way out of it, because his humans were elsewhere and he wanted to be with them at their sides.

Samehada raised himself up on his tail and knocked his snout against the door. It was a blunt impact and not very forceful. Kisame said from inside, "And there's Sammy," and opened the door. Samehada crawled into his arms. "Okay, okay," Kisame said, carrying him backward and sitting on the couch. "I get it." Ruta closed the door.

"It's good to hear that you've been more comfortable lately," Sakumo said. He waved at Masume, who got bottles of fruit punch from the refrigerator. As Ruta had said, the lizards went to bed earlier than the wolves and tigers did. The outer cabin was more illuminated than the lizard cabin had been, and the people here showed no signs of winding down the evening. They appeared to be winding it up. Sakumo sat down on the couch across from Kisame. "I last saw you when… I think it was that time you had an outburst and said you had no family."

Kisame huffed. "Nice job with the secret keeping. I'm offended, but also a little impressed."

Sakumo smiled uncomfortably. "Secrets?"

"Some of the lizard people told me about your 'family legends.' They made it sound like you didn't want them to tell me." Kisame raised his hands. "It's fine. I wasn't really desperate to know."

"Ah, that." Sakumo ducked his head. "I apologize. I just could not think of a good way to bring it up."

Kisame patted Samehada and changed the subject. "How have you people been lately?"

A half wolf and a half snake came over. The half wolf gestured to his friend and said, "Jyuu here is doing a lot of research about vampires in order to make up for his sad state of ignorance."

Jyuu ducked his head. "My first impulse when I saw a vampire was to be horrified and declare it an unholy monster. Him, him, I know, I'm sorry." He stepped away from his friend's glare, arms raised. "I nearly got us both killed. It was not good of me."

"What happened with this vampire?" Kisame asked.

Samehada tasted the air while they told the story. The air was full of good flavors. Maybe he could be more sociable too? Samehada slithered off Kisame's lap onto the floor. He made his way from person to person, licking them to get a taste of their chakra. The wolf person who had gotten the bottles of red water sat down on the floor with him. "Hey. Remember me?"

Now that Samehada thought about it, he did. This was also the wolf person who had given him a bath. He lolled his tongue out and licked the person's face.

"Had any interesting dreams lately?" the person asked.

Samehada had to really think about it. He had had some dreams recently that he remembered. Dreams of swimming through a strange jungle lake while on vacation with Human Cousin, hunting for a large fish hidden somewhere in the murky depths. Getting stuck in a tree and calling for various humans below to help him down, but they all acted confused and did all kinds of confused things and didn't end up helping. A vague dream of being in the tank and…something about having a mate. Were any of these interesting? What did a human think of as interesting? He couldn't describe them, anyway.

Samehada warbled sadly and laid his head on the wolf person's knee. "Oh," the wolf person realized. "You couldn't tell me about them even if you had. I'm sorry." He scratched the side of Samehada's dorsal fin slowly. "What is it like to not be able to talk with humans?"

Samehada lifted his head and shook it from side to side. It didn't matter to him. He didn't think of it. He used his tail to mark a specific place in the air, then another, then another, and made the same sad warble. But sometimes, it hurt very much.

"What kind of sad is it?" the wolf person asked. "Like…is it sad because you want to share a story but you can't, so you don't get to bond with them over the cool story? Or is it sad because you get left out of conversations entirely, as if you weren't there? Or…" Samehada was nodding vigorously. "Oh no, I'm so sorry." The wolf person gave him a hug. "Nobody should be left out like that."

Samehada warbled and pulled back. He shook his head. How could he represent a conversation? Samehada made sounds that faintly resembled talking and moved around in a circle to show different people talking. He pointed his tail at this and shook his head no. No, he was not left out of conversations just because he couldn't talk. What he was left out of, what he was invisible in, was intimate one-on-one interactions. He couldn't have the quiet conversations that the humans had. Human Cousin did not sit down with Samehada and confess that he had trouble thinking of himself like a shark and ask what could he do about it. He had said that to Red Claw Person, and Samehada just happened to overhear. Fears and hopes and wants… Only the humans talked about those. Never with Samehada. People only told Samehada about things and events that had happened, most of the time. That was fine. But there was a vulnerability Samehada saw in his Human Cousin when he talked with other humans that Samehada would have liked to have for himself. He lacked a human enough understanding to describe it exactly. All he could think was that Human Cousin was different with other humans than he was with Samehada. For all that the shark lived with them and could do his own missions, he still was not one of them. On the rare occasions when Samehada thought about this, it hurt most of all.

Samehada pointed his tail at the wolf person. This, here, this. He thumped it on the ground between them. This was what he was left out of, this talk between equals.

The wolf person looked sad. "Are you lonely right now?"

Yes.

The wolf person stroked him tenderly. "I've never really gotten to know you. May I try?"

Yes!

"Alright! Um… What sorts of things do you want? In general, in your life? Adventure, or lots of rest?"

Samehada snapped his jaws at two different places in the air. Both.

The wolf person giggled. "Oh, yeah, I guess those things aren't mutually exclusive. Um… Do you want to travel, see places you've never seen before?"

Samehada wavered back and forth. It sounded vaguely interesting, but he didn't really have a desire for it.

"What about learning things?"

Yes, yes.

The wolf person smiled. "What kinds of things? You'd like to know more about humans, right?" Yes. "What about sharks? You've never been to the ocean, have you? Do you want to know how sharks live in the wild, without any humans around at all?"

Samehada wondered about it, and shook his head no. No humans at all? Maybe other sharks could live that way, but Samehada couldn't. The part of him that lived on land and could think about large things would never be happy.

"Huh. If it was me, I would want to." The wolf person stifled a laugh. "Sorry, I just thought of something funny. It's not related at all - just a mind tangent. Um… Oh my god, I can't believe I forgot about this. What about love? Babies? Do you want to create a family?"

Samehada let out a whine of suppressed excitement. A human! Was asking about this! Two humans in just a few days! He lolled his tongue out and nodded. This was a good time. Good things were happening. Happy happy change yes? New yes? Better yes?

The wolf person rubbed his chin. "Okay, keep in mind that I have no idea what the social dynamics of sharks are like. I know nothing." He held up two hands, one of them with one finger extended and the other spread wide. "Would you like one mate, or multiple?" Samehada touched his snout to the hand with one finger extended. "Lots of pups, or a small number?" Samehada looked back and forth between the hands, eventually touching his snout to the one held a smaller distance above the floor. For now. "Is it the kind of thing where you gather, mate, then go your separate ways? Or do you want to be the way humans are, always around each other and living together? In love?"

Samehada snapped his jaws tight around the wrist of the hand that was staying in one place firmly wrapped around itself. Love. Love, togetherness, forever and ever. Wasn't that how it was already? Together, they had the body heat of a full human? Together, they could think about the world in all the ways and understand all the things? Together, they were balanced? Like Human Cousin had said they should be?

The wolf person got tears in his eyes. But he also smiled, a great big smile that refused to be held back. "That sounds incredible. I really hope it happens for you." He wiped away the tears, then paused. "Is there anything I can do to help?"

Samehada pulled on his hand before letting it go. He made the sounds that resembled talking, then led the wolf person over to where Kisame was sitting, talking about vampires with the white-haired wolf person. He pointed his tail at Kisame.

"Talk to him?" At Samehada's nod, the wolf person smiled. "I can do that."

.

A/N: As you should know by now, I'm not happy with the way Itachi was shown to be lashing out and looking like he was having a psychotic break early in the series, then later in the series was a good guy who was just following terrible orders. I'm doing my best to reconcile those two characterizations. As part of this reconciliation, the reveal that he met Madara and Madara helped him with the massacre is being left out entirely. There really isn't a way to fit that in anywhere and it makes everything super complicated and it won't make any sense in the future. So Itachi in my story acted alone, like he was said to have done at the beginning.

Poor Sammy. Just because things only matter every so often doesn't make them matter any less in those moments. It may make them matter more.

Hope everyone had a good April Fool's Day, and see you all next week! *takes notes on how the weather is this time of year*