A/N: For all those in other countries: the metaphorical grapevine is the structure along which news spreads through gossip. "I heard it over the grapevine" = people were sharing the news by mouth. So, I am glad to have a fitting name for this chapter.

Kinda rushing because someone else needs to use the computer. See yall in the end notes!

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Itachi

Itachi and Konan discussed what "the management" might refer to. They concluded that, aside from Hidan, there was only one person who might know. They looked around. Oddly, he had not yet appeared. They glanced at each other, nodded as one, and started walking.

Kakuzu interrupted before they could get far. He came up to Konan, stopped in his tracks when he saw Itachi with her, and looked between the two of them warily. "What's happening?"

"Hidan is concerned that this world may be incompetently managed," Konan said. "We are going to ask the demon about this."

Kakuzu growled. "Fuck if I'm going anywhere near that place. Fine; I'll train with Deidara." He left.

They paused outside to smell the air, feel the wind and look around. "Winter lingers in this place," Konan said. "I am used to a spring that arrives suddenly and unmistakably. One week, snow clouds the city as it falls. Then you wake up to a cloud of fog from the warm overnight downpour that melted it all away."

"Spring is typically cold in this area," Itachi said. "But summer arrives with a bang."

They walked along the road towards the abandoned hospital. "Truthfully," Konan admitted in a low voice, "I believe I already understand what Hidan may have been referring to."

"How so?"

"On our first visit to the hospital, I was cautious about exploring the grounds. Too cautious. The boy found it boring. He created an aura of fear so powerful that I panicked and crashed. When I regained my senses, I felt curiously detached from my body. I observed my own body as if it was a piece of art. I tried to turn around to tell someone else about it, but I couldn't turn around because my soul is too tightly bound. It didn't matter; there was nobody to tell, anyway. Because souls only come one to a body. I wondered who made that decision."

"It may not always be the case," Itachi replied. "People with multiple personalities report that each personality seems to be their own person, that they're not just fragments. If that's true, they could have multiple souls inside one body."

"Hmm. Interesting. Perhaps." Konan stopped as the hospital came into view. "When I entered the building, I saw pages in a book turning by themselves and my first thought was, "Who allowed this person to be outside their body? Where is the supervisor?'"

Itachi tilted his head. "So, the management is… Who, or what, you complain to when some aspect of reality is not right?"

"Yes. I had no idea how to contact them, or even who they were. But I knew that they existed." Her brow furrowed. "The way Hidan reacted when I brought this up was very unusual. How have I not thought about it before now? He was not confused at all by what I was talking about. He defended the right of people to be outside their bodies. He called it an alternative body style."

"Well, he already had this idea of management before," Itachi said. "The only thing that has changed is his ability to trust said management. But what could change a person's ability to trust someone that they were already unable to sense or contact?"

They crossed the hospital grounds. Itachi found the excessively perfect nature of the plants they passed to be very interesting. So perfection is unnatural. Even growth top to bottom is unnatural, and perfectly regular shapes are creepy. Most depictions of cursed places show them as being excessively natural - decrepit, rotten, that sort of thing. But such places are not actually unnatural; they're just uncomfortable. They evoke primitive terror, not eerie shivers down the spine. This place is more accurate. I have eerie shivers all over my body. However… Hell is said to represent disorder, and Heaven order. Why is excessive order the signature mark of a demon? This is the opposite of what one would traditionally expect. But then, we also traditionally strive for perfection, which is unnatural and uncomfortable. Perhaps our traditions are the things that are reversed. Perhaps Heaven is a place where order collapses and everything is allowed to be alright, and Hell is a place of strict dogma where one can never act without feeling guilty. Actually, that perfectly matches everything I have ever thought about Hell. Is the feeling that one ought to be punished for having broken a rule, the feeling of guilt and shame, not the foundation of Hell? Of course Hell is excessively orderly. I don't know how I didn't realize that before.

The front door was closed. Konan lifted the old-fashioned heavy door knocker on it and let it fall. They heard no response. Konan frowned. But then, a faint scraping sound came from inside. The knob turned and the door fell open by a few inches. The scraping sound repeated, and this time they could see a black and white shape pushing a brown shape past the door. The snake boy pushed the door open all the way and blinked up at them.

"We are here to talk to your friend," Itachi said. "Is he available?"

The snake child turned around and went someplace. He did not close the door, so they walked in and closed it behind themselves. "There," Konan said. "That is where I saw the renegade." She and Itachi watched the checkin/checkout book. A page turned, then another. "I told Hidan we should not be here if such behavior is tolerated," she remembered. "As if being outside a body is obscene."

"That is an interesting way to think of ghosts," Itachi murmured. "I never thought of it before. What kinds of movies could one make about this idea…"

A large dog with long, slightly curly fur trotted up to them. It woofed. Itachi patted it on the head.

"May I ask why you are in dog form?" Konan asked the dog.

The dog turned into liquid darkness that formed into the shape of a boy. "I was entertaining the children," he said with a huff. "It's part of my new job description, which I take very seriously. Very seriously." He flashed demon eyes at them to heighten the impact of his words. "Now, why are you here?"

"Hidan has some concerns about the management of this world," Konan said. "Do you know anything about this?"

"About the world management?" The boy put on his hardest thinking face, scrunching up his eyes in concentration and rocking back and forth. "Mmm… No."

Itachi facepalmed. "Right, of course. Didn't you say that one time that you could not see divinity?"

"Well, I don't know," the demon boy said. "I don't know any more about the world managers than you do. I dunno if they're the gods. Did the gods make the bush? I dunno."

"You believe the management he referred to has to do with the soul bush that brought us here?"

"Well, duh."

"I fail to see how a being or beings that could create something so large and powerful can possibly be incompetent," Itachi said. "And he told Sasori that our originals had a different management, which he knew to be incompetent."

"Oh, oh no," the boy said. "Nuh uh. If they had a different management, then it's not the gods. The gods are kinda bathing all the worlds, like bubbles floating in a lake."

Konan touched the outside of her weapon pouch. "So there are beings that operate independently of the gods and on a similar level…but which are prone to terrible mistakes." Her eyes darted around. "Can the gods remedy their mistakes? Or are they…more powerful than the gods?"

Itachi tried to think. But the prospect she raised was so terrifying that he struggled to. He felt like he should be able to make some conclusion, but only once he had calmed down. Damn. I hate not being able to think clearly. This was why he preferred quiet, low-stimulation environments.

The boy giggled. "Hee hee! Are you all scared?"

Itachi shook his head. "You picked a bad time to be a dog. Hidan ran into the forest to panic not too long ago."

"Whaaaaat?!" The boy turned into a flock of birds and flew out the door, which was now open by mysterious means. He slammed it shut the same way.

Konan relaxed her hand. "Never mind. Even if it was all true, I could do nothing about it. I ought not to worry about what does not concern me."

Itachi took a deep breath. He, too, found it easier to voluntarily relax than he ever had before. Living here is equivalent to taking a course on Buddhism, it seems. Hmm. Are all religions really equal? Religion is said to be a choice, but it seems that life circumstances and inherent dispositions can make a person more inclined to a certain set of spiritual practices than to another. Mental illnesses, too. Perhaps she is able to let go so easily because of the unpredictable way her mind works? Has anyone researched the impact of different mental illnesses on spirituality?

They both realized that they hadn't heard a page turn in quite some time, and turned to look. The snake child was holding his toy snake up to an invisible person. Its head bobbed up and down as if it was being patted.

Deidara

"Waaahhh!"

Deidara rolled across the ground and leaped up into a tree, throwing out a barrage of small spiders as he ran. The spiders did not faze his opponent in the slightest. Deidara tried to return to his owl, for that was his only chance. His opponent knew this and did not let go of the owl. He dragged it behind him by its talons as he followed Deidara into the trees. Deidara cried out and submitted just to stop Clay from being battered by branches.

Kakuzu chuckled. "Too easy."

"How could you do that to him?!"

"Please. My original would have done a lot worse."

Deidara glared at him. "I thought the whole point of this was to be better than our originals, yeah."

"And I am."

Deidara huffed. "Don't slam him against trees like that, hm. I know he's made of clay, but still."

Kakuzu sat back against the trunk of the tree he was in. "You're pretty good at maneuvering in these trees. I had to hide myself against a patch of earth before I could catch you with my tentacles."

"Yeah, I've gotten really good at flying, yeah!" Deidara looked back at the patch of earth in question. "But when I'm moving, it makes it hard to see. I would have noticed you if I was standing still, yeah. How do I fix that?"

Kakuzu shrugged. "Probably practice. Your original had to be able to see what was around him while he was flying. You just have to relearn it."

"You want to fly this time?"

"Why not. The extra weight might help."

Deidara and Kakuzu flew through the forest. As predicted, the extra weight helped Deidara by forcing him to slow down. He tried to study the ground as he flew. "That bush down there is - yikes! Ah, crap, I didn't get a good look at it." He doubled back and observed that the bush had branches that curved in on themselves. "Okay, let's try again, yeah," he said as he looked for another target. "Oh, that rock there - woah!"

"Land," Kakuzu ordered. "Now." Deidara did as requested. He did not look at Kakuzu as they got off of the owl. His cheeks were red-hot. Why did I say that, yeah? I tell him I'm so great at flying in a forest, and then I nearly crash. Twice. I should've kept my big mouth shut, yeah.

"I should've kept my big mouth shut," Kakuzu muttered. "I was wrong. Why the hell would your original have practiced flying through a forest? Especially one as dense as this. Any forest he ended up in would have been blown to splinters, anyway."

Deidara took a deep breath and fought to sound confident. "So, I haven't practiced looking for ground targets while also dodging aerial ones?"

"Probably not. I should have realized."

"Well, that sucks. So how do I learn to do it now?"

"I have no friggin' clue."

Deidara got on Clay's back. "I'll try to practice it again, yeah. But slower, yeah."

They flew through the forest again. Deidara tried to merely identify the presence of rocks and bushes this time. Kakuzu corrected him occasionally. "No, that was a young tree. That was actually a vine. That wasn't a rock; it was a shadow."

"Agh!" Deidara brushed a surprise butterfly out of his face. He landed Clay and wiped his face in case any butterfly scales had gotten on him. "You'd be surprised how big of a problem bugs are, yeah."

Kakuzu took the opportunity to get off and stretch. He saw something that Deidara hadn't noticed. "What a friggin' coincidence," he muttered sarcastically.

"I don't think so," Hidan replied. He sat behind a tree uphill of the butterfly, with only one shoulder and the head of his scythe visible. He looked around the tree, and they saw that he was pale. "I mean… Shit."

"What do you mean?" Deidara asked.

"I don't wanna talk about it."

Kakuzu narrowed his eyes. "Why the hell do you sound like Kisame?"

"Well, I mean, he kinda had a point."

Deidara's heart started to beat very fast. That's not right! Hidan's supposed to be confident. He's half god; how can he not know what's going on? "What do you mean, he had a point? He was just scared, yeah. But there's no reason to be. We're gonna be fine. Right?"

Hidan shrank in on himself. "I hope so."

"What's there to be scared of, yeah?" Deidara smoothed out his ponytail repeatedly. "You've said before that it'll all be okay if we just keep going forward."

Hidan whimpered. "I...I don't know why I said that. Why did I say that? Was that me saying it, or was it for some purpose, to make sure stuff keeps happening, or…"

Kakuzu stared at him. "Since when do you worry about why you do things? You just do what feels right and figure it out later."

Hidan said nothing to this. "Sorry."

Deidara cleared his throat. A possible problem had just occurred to him, and although he didn't want to admit it, it was probably something others ought to know about. "Um, Hidan? I'm kinda freaking out right now, yeah, so half of your freaking out isn't coming from you."

"No, I'm pretty sure most of it is," Hidan said. "I was freaking out for a few minutes before you guys showed up."

Kakuzu put a hand on Deidara's shoulder. It was reassuring, until Deidara remembered that Kakuzu was not ever a cuddly and reassuring person, which made him even more frightened. "Konan mentioned you had concerns about this world being incompetently managed," Kakuzu said. "Is that what this is about?"

"But isn't he the management…?" Deidara realized why Kakuzu was trying to reassure him. Oh crap. Is someone other than the gods at work here?

"Yeah, it's about that," Hidan admitted. He still had not come out from behind the tree.

Someone that, if they fucked up, even the gods couldn't do anything about it? Someone who can fuck up? Deidara recalled everything he knew of incompetent gods and others in his panic. It didn't take him long to realize why Hidan was afraid. "Holy fucking shit! We are in a video game!"

Kakuzu looked at him like he'd lost his mind. "No we're not," Hidan called out. His voice shook; he was on the edge of panic himself. He squeaked.

Deidara made an effort to control himself. He balled his hands into fists, took deep breaths, recited a mantra: everything. Must not make him panic. Must not make him panic.

"I don't want to talk about it now!" Hidan snapped. "Fuck, there was supposed to be a meeting later!" He picked up his scythe and ran away.

"Calm down," Kakuzu told Deidara. "Whatever you two children are frightened about, we can talk about it later."

Deidara nodded. But still, his old fears rushed to the surface. Oh god, what kind of game is this, yeah? Is it the kind where we only get one life and there are no respawn points? Do we get to start levels over? Is it the kind of game where we can die?

With such thoughts distracting him, he must have made many more errors than before as he flew. But Kakuzu made no corrections. He sat silently behind Deidara and did not say a word.

Sasori

Laurie finished compiling their work and submitting it online. "Whew! And that's another year of not having to do that anymore."

Sasori sat in a chair in the lobby, his hands folded before his face. "Mm."

"So, are you finally going to tell me what's bothering you?"

Sasori sighed. "I'm not sure what's bothering me, myself. Is it the idea that my coping mechanism is illogical? Is it the possibility of having incompetent gods controlling my actions? Is it the fact that I'm not worried about that, but feel like I should be? Is it just because Hidan, who's usually the most confident person around, is acting entirely unlike himself? Who knows."

"What?" Laurie's eyes grew big and watery. "Hidan? What's going on?"

Sasori gave her as close to a direct quotation as he could of the phone call that morning. Laurie grew increasingly confused. When he finished, she asked, "So, what's the problem?"

"If the gods or whoever are incompetent, they could make a mistake."

"But gods don't make mistakes. They make reality. Whatever happens is, by definition, true. Because it happened."

"True. I don't understand exactly what he was worried about either. I guess I can cross that off the list of possibilities." Sasori sighed. "Am I really so bothered by not being completely rational? I'm trying to come to terms with my humanity. I thought I had made more progress than that."

"That's part of being human too," Laurie reassured. "We like to expect a lot from ourselves."

"I also am worried about Hidan," Sasori said. "He sounded just like Kisame. That's not right. It's backwards. It is not how things should be. I like it when everything is usually nice and predictable. No matter what happens to us, I'd started to think that at least the people I'm with would be reliable."

"He must have a reason," Laurie said. "A completely in-character, Hidanish reason. It has to make sense somehow."

That's right. I haven't heard the full story yet. Patience. I will learn about it at the meeting, and then everything will make perfect sense. Sasori couldn't make the meeting happen any faster, so he did not experience any stress from waiting. "Thank you. Let's get back to work."

Nagato

Why are dogs so much easier to care for than people? Nagato sat with Goldeneye, who had been observed scratching over the past week, brushing her fur with a fine-toothed comb. If the comb pulled up any eggs or fleas, they would give her treatments to get rid of fleas. If not, a vet would be asked to come and examine her for signs of skin irritation. And if that didn't solve the problem, other volunteers would be called in to free up Nagato to shadow her in order to find the source of her anxiety and hopefully resolve it. It was a very simple step-by-step procedure that proceeded easily from step to step with few snags. With dogs, it was easy to find out that there was a problem. With dogs, it was easy to figure out what could and should be done about the problem. With dogs, it was easy to transform those thoughts into concrete action. I would kill to be able to help my friends this way.

He found a flea. He sighed. "Golden, you know you really have to stop running off and rolling in strange places. You're already prone to fleas. You're not doing yourself any favors." Goldeneye sat there panting as happily as ever. "Alright. I'll get you back in your cage, tell Marsha, change my clothes and wash my arms, and then we can get your medicine sorted. Deal?"

He wondered how the possibility of anxiety had even made it to the list as Goldeneye tried to pull him off his feet again. He reeled her back with a chuckle. "Yeah, you're not scared of anything or anyone, are you? What's your secret?" he murmured while getting her back in her cage and unhooking the leash.

While changing his clothes, a thought occurred to him. I'm not so different from Yahiko. I have a way with animals, too. Nagato smiled as he washed his arms. I'm more complete without him than I thought. I really can be my own person. He is not the missing half of me, after all.

Strangely, this thought reminded him of Hidan. He's had time to rest. Is he panicking again now? Nagato hoped not. He had a strong urge to check, even though cellphones were not allowed to be used inside the shelter. Why does he always have these problems when I'm not around? I wish I could be with him right now. He's… Huh. He's easier to comfort than most people. I usually know just what to do with him. Is it because he's part cat and I have a way with animals? Is that why we get along so well?

He took a moment to meditate and calm himself before leaving. Dogs knew body language. It was not a good idea to stress himself out at work because they would know it. He left the washroom as calmly as he could.

It was the end of his day, so he stopped by Marsha's desk again to give an end-day report. "Whisper's sniffing me again. I already called my sister over my lunch break; she'll be here tomorrow, if she can. Golden's as spirited as ever. Jonesy actually sniffed my hand before licking it. Hope he does that tomorrow. If he's finally learning -" Nagato pumped a fist in the air. "And I caught Mosey sitting up in his cage, putting perfectly normal weight on the leg that was injured. He's officially fear-free."

"Wonderful news!" Marsha beamed. "You know, I've been thinking a raise is in order. I know, you want us to be able to care for the dogs best, but you can't show compassion to one if you don't show compassion to another. You have a real way with animals, and I'd better recognize that."

Nagato blushed. "Thank you. I only just realized that, actually."

"What?"

"That I have a way with animals."

She stared at him. "How on earth did you miss something so obvious about yourself, boy?"

"Well, I have a friend who has a way with animals too, and I always thought about him, so I didn't think about…" Myself. I ignored myself because I was too busy looking at him. He flushed again, this time in shame.

Marsha clucked her tongue. "You can't be kind to one if you're not kind to another."

"Yes, I've been learning that recently. Um, thank you."

He left the shelter and immediately took out his phone. He went to call Hidan, then hesitated. it would only take a few seconds. He went to the group chat first and typed, Quote of the day: "You can't be kind to one without being kind to another." It means that if you really want to help someone, you have to do the same for everyone. You have to be kind to yourself and to anyone who helps you, and to anyone else who gets involved. Kindness works best when it's a general way of interacting with the world, not a privilege reserved for your favorite people.

Then he called Hidan. The phone rang several times before it was picked up, which told Nagato everything he needed to know about Hidan's mental state. "Where are you?" he asked. "I got out of work just now. I'll pick up Yahiko and head home. I can be with you in 20 minutes."

"Nah," Hidan said. "There's gonna be a meeting anyway. See you then." *click*

Oh, crap, something's really wrong. Nagato sped over to Yahiko's now former workplace. Yahiko was already outside. He jumped as the car screeched to a halt. "Um, is everything okay?"

"No. I just called Hidan and asked where he was so I could hang out with him. He said no and hung up on me."

"Why don't we have a return-to-base jutsu like in video games?!"

Such a jutsu would have been very useful to them both as they sped home. Nagato distracted himself by thinking of ways to invent such a jutsu. We would need to mark the base in some way. Could the jutsu be tied to the symbol? And then we would need to mark ourselves. So, carry around a seal or something in a pocket. Then activate the seal, and it would bring the two marks together in the same place. Probably shouldn't use the symbol, then. Something in the lobby would be better. A pole lamp with the matching seal drawn on its shade, standing next to the lobby desk. He was successful. No accidents or near-accidents occurred.

Nagato only remembered the other piece of news when he was pulling into the parking space. "Oh, and he said there was going to be a meeting later."

"Maybe we should wait until the meeting then…?"

"To go to Konan? No, not at all. She knows more about what's happening than we do." Nagato leaped out of the car and went to find her, Yahiko following.

They found Konan talking in whispers with Deidara and Kakuzu. She stopped talking as soon as they appeared. "Ah, hello. How was your last day of work?"

"My coworkers put together a party for me," Yahiko said. "Someone brought in homemade cupcakes and people came to the break room and talked with me. It was really sweet. But what's happening with Hidan?"

Deidara's face twitched all over like he was trying not to say something. He turned away. "No, stop that right now," Nagato ordered. "I just called Hidan asking to hang out together. He said no and hung up on me. I want to know everything about what's wrong right now."

"Fuck," Kakuzu muttered.

"We really are in a video game!" Deidara said. "There's a creator, and they designed everything, and we're controlled." He started to hyperventilate.

"And?" Yahiko asked.

"And?"

"We already knew all of that."

"Yes," Kakuzu said, "but Hidan's lost his trust in this creator. He's afraid that they're going to fuck us up."

"If that was going to happen, wouldn't it have happened already?" Nagato asked.

"An excellent point to make at the meeting, which is apparently the only time he will be available for contact tonight." Konan sighed. "I wish he did not also have a cat's tendency to hide itself away when afraid."

"We've got to put together a big, deep pool of warm and cuddly feelings for him," Yahiko said. "Let's get everyone together now so I can tell them about the party my coworkers threw for me."

"You are a genius," Nagato said, awestruck. And that's the sort of plan I would have come up with! He's his own person too. I'm not his missing half either.

Nagato had never thought he had anything less than a case of hero worship for Yahiko. He had always thought he put Yahiko on too high a pedestal. Yet, before his eyes, Yahiko grew into something more than just a man to follow and fawn over. Nagato's respect for him increased. He didn't think he'd ever disrespected Yahiko before, but there was definitely a change now. Why do I admire him so much more now? I admired him before. But it was a different kind of admiration. Because I thought I needed him to be complete.

After the meeting, Nagato decided he would try to talk with Itachi about healthy and unhealthy relationships. He kept his eyes on Yahiko as they traveled around the base looking for others. How did I never realize we were unhealthy before?

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A/N: I really love Nagato and Yahiko's relationship and how it's evolving. It gives me a lot to think about.

Hmm. Nothing much else to say here. Have a super nice day, everyone!