A/N: Doing these two as a pair was the best. Idea. Ever.

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Yahiko

Meanwhile…

The rest of the Akatsuki filed into the bar as a large group. They all arrived at the same time, so why not? No use in pretending not to be together. Yahiko spotted Jiraiya among a crowd of people some distance away. As he watched, he caught a glimpse of someone who introduced a blip into his awareness. When he regained his senses a moment later, wondering if it was normal to experience a sensation like he was falling while awake and standing, he could see nothing.

"That is where Deidara and I met the demon we interviewed," Itachi said. "It could be difficult to pull him away."

Yahiko turned away and watched as the others found a semi-enclosed booth nearby, just beyond the seating area with the small tables. Kisame and Kakuzu established a clear view of the surroundings. Deidara looked around for a server. Sasori sat in the middle of the group, which was wise given his past experiences. Yahiko, Konan and Itachi remained standing. With them apart and Hidan and Nagato not present, the group looked greatly diminished. Though all but two of them were out together, it did not feel like a group outing. Yahiko felt isolated. Is that a good thing or a bad thing? Wait, no, I promised to stop thinking like that. Um, does it help me or not? There I go. …I guess it does.

"I promised I would text our demon friend next time we came here," Itachi said. "He should be around, expecting us. I don't want to seem as if I am complaining about my friends, but their absence tonight is very convenient."

"Keep watch," Konan told him. "Warn me to avert my eyes and move out of hearing."

Something suddenly occurred to Yahiko. Could that change depending on what form I'm in? I know sexual orientation isn't a choice and it doesn't depend on gender, but could a major change to my body chemistry nudge me toward liking guys? I'm not exactly repulsed or anything by other men. It might be possible for hormones and stuff to change that, right? He swallowed. His heart fluttered. He had worn a shirt that fit better on a female frame for a reason, and testing it was going to be hard enough without adding another experiment on top of it.

"Now," Itachi told Konan. Konan turned the opposite way and investigated a table two tables away. Yahiko faced the same way as Itachi, heart still fluttering. I never actually did any self-discovery about my sexual orientation. It was too tied to gender stuff. I really hope the incubus doesn't help me find out anything about myself right now!

"Hello." The sound of the voice made him imagine things. Yahiko flushed bright red. Then he saw the incubus, and was terrified to realize that the sight of the incubus also put images into his head and drew his attention to certain places he wouldn't have noticed on a normal man. Aaagghh! He completely missed what the demon said to Itachi. Itachi seemed perfectly at ease talking to him, not distracted at all. Yahiko shivered. But then he realized, Wait. I'm aware of what he's doing. I'm not hypnotized. I'm fine. Maybe this happens to everyone who looks at a demon?

"I'll fetch him," the demon said. He glanced at Yahiko. It was not a casual glance. Yahiko hoped he wasn't sweating too much as the demon walked away. Maybe it was a bad idea to push myself this far.

"I can't help but think that demons with this power must also be able to sense the inclination of their prey," Itachi said casually. "It only makes sense." He looked the way the demon had gone, not towards Yahiko at all. Yet Yahiko had the feeling Itachi was speaking to him. Even though Itachi was the most reserved and gentle person he knew, it still made him uncomfortable. I hate being watched…

The demon did not immediately come back, so Yahiko decided he should say something. "Um… I… I'm not really a fan of…" He's not trying to make me uncomfortable. I'm just too sensitive. I don't want to sound like I'm complaining or anything. He fell silent.

"What are you not a fan of?" Itachi asked.

Being watched. Being seen. Wait, no. Hidan has more power to pick up on things than anyone, but I've never been afraid of him knowing things. What am I really afraid of? "I like Hidan's approach better," Yahiko said. It made a good enough placeholder while he thought.

"Ah. You prefer directness. In that case, I believe that there is nobody who can help you determine your sexual orientation better than our demon friend. If you would like, I can help you get him alone at some point."

Yahiko winced as Itachi said it aloud. What if somebody nearby heard? But aside from that, he was relieved. Itachi was right. He liked it when others were direct and open with him. That was another entry on the list of things he hadn't known about himself. "Really? That'd be great."

"How long do you need?"

"...Maybe five minutes, counting the time it takes to go somewhere else."

"I thought it was unusual for you to wear that kind of shirt."

Yahiko flushed bright red and mumbled something that wasn't quite a word. He knew Itachi never would have told anybody, but the thought that he was practically advertising his biggest secret struck him like a lightning bolt.

"Nobody besides myself, Konan, Hidan and Sasori know or suspect anything," Itachi said.

"Sasori?" How?

"He is surprisingly observant and seems to be very knowledgeable of the LGBT community."

Yahiko mumbled something else that was probably gibberish. I take it back. Hidan did the right thing not letting me walk out accidentally. I don't like not being in control. He ran his hand through his hair and waited for the incubus to come back.

The incubus successfully extracted Jiraiya from the other demon's grasp, after explaining the situation to her and getting her permission. He led Jiraiya over to them. Since Yahiko's mind was already on the topic, he couldn't help but notice that the demon led from behind, pushing Jiraiya along. Was there a reason he stayed out of Jiraiya's sight? I never would have guessed that. Never.

Jiraiya frowned at the sight of him. "Where's your shadow?" he asked.

"Nagato's busy with something else."

Jiraiya studied him and Itachi and everyone else more carefully. "You two really have grown up. It's gonna take forever to catch up, isn't it?"

Yahiko shuffled. The demon was still there, silent and out of sight. He still watched Yahiko. When was Itachi going to do that thing he had promised?

"If I may," Itachi cut in. "You are right. Many personal events have happened since Konan appeared. I have witnessed them. I can fill you in, if you wish."

Jiraiya rubbed his chin. "I have been wondering how that girl became Nagato's new big sister. Alright! Spill." He and Itachi sat down at the nearest table. Yahiko hopped over to the demon's side. There was not a moment to waste.

"Hi," he said. What do I say? I can't just come right out and ask him to test me like he's a lab instrument.

"You aren't hypnotized by me," the demon muttered. "But I'm getting mixed signals."

"Let's go somewhere else," Yahiko suggested. He pushed through the people crowding around the succubus and found a booth. Between the booth and the people, he was probably not visible. But I might be, in this shirt. Oh this was such a bad idea. He transformed before he could freak himself out too much.

The demon frowned. "That doesn't make a difference, you know."

Yahiko looked back at him. The phantom impressions of a hand touching, the mental images, they seemed more persuasive now. He was not any more hypnotized than before, but the incubus' aura certainly felt different. Yahiko lowered his eyes lest he be tempted to carry the experiment further.

The demon blinked. "What the hell?"

"I kinda have mental blocks against doing unusual gender things."

"I've heard of people like you, but never met any," the incubus murmured. "Attraction without attraction. Temptation without hypnosis. Bizarre."

Yahiko twisted a strand of hair hard enough that it hurt. "You've never met anyone like me?"

"Well… Not as far as I know. It's possible that people like you just avoid my kind when we're not in the most suitable form. And if we are, you look and act just like any other human." The incubus frowned.

Yahiko sighed. "I'm just glad to find out my sexual orientation doesn't change between forms. That would be inconvenient."

"Would you be hypnotized if I was female?"

"Yes."

"Hm."

"So I'm…what? Heteroflexible? I think that's a word."

"We don't do so well in that weird little gray area," the demon said, waving his hand in a circle, "so I have no idea. We avoid that for the most part."

Yahiko smoothed his hair back from his ears. Actually, it was going to take Itachi a lot longer than five minutes to explain every effect that Konan had wrought, even if he skimped on details. There was no rush. "You said earlier you were getting mixed signals. But that was when I was in my real form, and I don't have any thoughts about being with another guy when I'm in that form."

"Change back," the demon requested. Yahiko did so. The demon leaned forward, hands folded under his chin. "You are not hypnotized by me, but there is…something. A foreign something."

"And it's not what you detected in my other form?"

"No, that was familiar, if warped. This is something strange. I don't know what it is." The demon leaned back and shook his head. "I'm starting to think I was wrong. I have met people in the past who rubbed me the wrong way for reasons I didn't know and didn't take the time to examine. Maybe something about them was off, just like you are off."

Yahiko didn't feel like hearing any more. He thanked the demon for his time and left, head spinning. I'm not attracted to men, but I am…something? What? And how could the idea of being with a guy be nice if I'm not attracted to him? You can't just give yourself to someone for no reason. There has to be a motivation for it. But it feels more like I don't really care. Like it doesn't matter to me whether or not I'm attracted to him. It does matter, though. I know it does. So why do I feel like it doesn't? He pulled a chair up to Jiraiya's table and sat down without a word. Konan was there too. Itachi and Jiraiya were still talking.

Jiraiya glanced between him and Konan. "Trying to kill each other was the only way they could get along?"

"Yes," Konan said. "I had to know for sure that he was willing and able to defend himself."

"Jeez, there have to be other ways to test that."

"No. I had to be completely sure. Nothing less than the risk of serious bodily harm would suffice."

Jiraiya turned to Yahiko. "Was Nagato serious about her?"

"Yeah," Yahiko replied. "We all are." He smiled at Konan.

"Even after she threatened Nagato and tried to kill you?"

Yahiko shrugged.

Jiraiya shot Konan a critical look. "Do I care to know why you had so much trouble talking to him in the first place?"

Konan exhaled slowly through her nose. "His original meant a lot to me, and died in a very painful way."

"Remember that her world, her people, have very different customs than we do here," Itachi said.

Jiraiya looked unconvinced. "Between this and the story about stealing someone's personal property, I'm not getting the best impression."

"It's more than that," Yahiko said. "It's…" He struggled for the right words. "It's like a vibe, where, when we're all together, all three of us, we kind of…" Intuition told him that she belonged. Intuition told him she really was one of them. But intuition alone was not enough. "We feel complete. Like she was missing before, and that was bad, even though we didn't know it."

"Hmm." Jiraiya looked up at the ceiling. "I guess it's true. I remember you two, you running around and Nagato following. You never really made any other friends. I hoped things would work out all right with just the two of you, but it would have been better if you'd had someone else."

"Yes!" Yahiko grinned. "Don't worry. If you hang around her long enough, you'll get a vibe like she belongs, too. If our originals made such a strong impression on your original, she must have too."

Jiraiya blinked. "...What the hell are you talking about?"

"Our originals and her were a three-person team," Yahiko said, puzzled. "You taught all three of us." Only as the last words left did his mouth did he realize what Jiraiya's confusion meant. He didn't know that. They hadn't gotten around to telling him yet. Oh. Darn. He turned to Konan, ready to stammer something that she would hopefully interpret as an apology, but she was already gone. Her empty chair appeared to not even have moved.

Jiraiya jumped when he noticed the same. He started to look around, then restrained himself. "She knows me?"

"Yeah. The same way we do. I don't know if she looks up to you the same way or anything, but…" Stop talking. Please stop talking. I'm making everything super awkward. The last thing he needs is to hear more about how she feels. I mean, he just found out he has a kind of adopted daughter that he doesn't remember. Give him a break. Yahiko averted his eyes and tried to make himself as small as possible.

"Damn good thing Nagato introduced her that way," Jiraiya muttered. He sighed. "Alright. Your instincts have always been good, kid. If you have a good feeling about her, I'll give her a shot." Such words made Yahiko feel warm all over. He uncurled a little.

"Hey, Itachi," he said. "How about I show him where the succubus attacked us? Weird stuff happened to the wood around there. It might be cool."

"That is an excellent idea," Itachi said. "I will update our friends and reassure her that he is taking the news well." Itachi made himself scarce barely slower than Konan had, with about as much noise.

Yahiko led him away. "Okay I lied," he said as they sat in the booth he and the incubus had sat in just minutes before. "I have no idea where she was when she attacked Hidan. I just wanted to talk to you in private."

"I've spent too long without a drink," Jiraiya said. He signaled a server. Yahiko closed his mouth, thinking it would be courteous to wait until he'd had his drink. Jiraiya took a long swallow of it when it arrived, then thunked the bottle down on the table with a satisfying resonance. "Ahh. Alright, what is it?"

Yahiko took a deep breath. "Well, one of the ninja skills she taught us is Transformation Jutsu, and… I've gotten really good at it… How do you think I look?" He transformed before he could completely panic.

Jiraiya's eyes bulged. "Holy crap," he exclaimed. "You look…" He struggled to find a word that was appropriate to apply to a former student. "Good?"

Yahiko giggled. "Th-thanks."

"Is this…permanent?"

"No, no. It's not. I don't know what I am, but not that."

Jiraiya took another swig from his drink. "Now that we're all adults here, can I be honest with you?" Yahiko nodded. "I always wondered about you," Jiraiya admitted. "You seemed like such a normal boy, but I saw once or twice how you looked at the girls. It wasn't like any other boy would have looked at them. I wondered if you were gay or something."

"I am increasingly unsure of what I am in that area, too," Yahiko said. "I'm not gay though. And you're right. Until I went through puberty, I didn't know what the difference was between me and girls. I didn't know why people looked at me and thought I must be totally different from them. Even now, I still don't know that."

"Well, you know what the difference is between men and women," Jiraiya began.

"No. I don't."

"Men are from Mars, women are from - wait, what?"

Yahiko smoothed his hair back from his forehead. "I don't know what the difference is between men and women. I can feel it. I can tell that there is one. But I can't describe it and I don't know where I fit in it." He looked up at Jiraiya. "What is the difference?"

Jiraiya, as he so often had before, looked completely flummoxed. He was a good caretaker, but teaching did not come naturally. He had to work hard to explain things in ways that helped a younger person understand, and he didn't always succeed. "The difference between men and women…"He drummed his fingers on the table and finished his drink. "That saying's kinda true. It really is a world of difference. Like we're not on the same planet." He signaled for another drink. "I know women are people. Tsunade's beat that into me by now. I can understand her and talk with her and all that good stuff. But there's some kinda flavor to her thinking that I'll never have."

"A flavor to her thinking?" Yahiko gasped. "Hidan said once that he read advice columns and I sounded just like the women that wrote in. He didn't explain how. But he made it sound like there was a special women's perspective or something that I had."

"You sure this isn't…?"

"No, no, I'm not a woman. I think. No, I'm pretty sure."

"Then why do you make yourself look like this?"

"Because I was always taught that it was wrong for me to like girly things as a boy," Yahiko blurted. "Like it made me look stupid, and embarrassing, and… I thought if I really was a girl inside, that would explain everything. It would make everything easier. If I look like this, then trying on makeup and cuddling with people makes sense and I don't look embarrassing anymore. Even though I'm not really a girl, looking like one still helps. I could wear makeup right now, but I would never do that in my real body. It'd look…"

Jiraiya's new drink arrived. He left it untouched. "Who the hell taught you that?"

"My parents," Yahiko whispered.

Jiraiya's eyes widened in shock. He knew nothing of their lives before they met him. It was an unspoken agreement they had: he didn't ask and they didn't tell. It was as if their lives began with him. But that could never be true. No matter how hard they pretended, it couldn't become true. Nagato wasn't his real brother and Jiraiya wasn't his real father. Tears appeared in Yahiko's eyes. "I looked up to my sister," he murmured. "She was so cool. I wanted to be like her. But she didn't want me to. I was supposed to be her little brother, not her little…whatever I was."

Jiraiya gripped his new drink for stability. "She was wrong. You know that, right? People can be whatever they want."

"I can't really move past it," Yahiko said. "If I think about wearing lipstick or something, I get this shivery feeling in my back like Dad's gonna walk in and take my doll away from me and tell me to get a real man's hobby all over again."

"Look at me." Jiraiya stared into Yahiko's eyes. With his most deadly serious look on his face and his mane of white hair, Yahiko was suddenly reminded of a lion. "I'm the one who looks after you now," Jiraiya said. "That asshole has to answer to me. I don't let anyone swoop in and attack my precious charges. Jeez, what a prick. It's fine now, do you understand? I don't care if you're really a girl. I don't care if you're something in between. I don't mind if you like boys. I don't mind any of that stuff. You're fine."

Tears spilled over Yahiko's eyelids and ran down his cheeks. To have someone who was a father to him say such a thing… To be accepted by someone who looked after him? Someone he looked up to? He'd never dared hope for such a thing. He sobbed quietly. "I thought… With all the things you said about women and liking women and stuff… I thought you would think I was weird if I wasn't manly like you."

Jiraiya huffed, a faint blush appearing on his cheeks. "I've been figuring some things out myself." He opened his new bottle and drank from it.

"Is that why the demon stayed out of your sight when he was leading you over?"

Jiraiya nodded. "I just thought it was because some guys look a lot like women, with long hair and delicate features and everything. But lately I've been reading online, in places where people talk about this stuff, that it doesn't matter how they look. If you like men, a butch girl isn't going to do it, and vice versa. So I guess it's not because of that after all."

"I hope you find someone you're really happy with," Yahiko said. "Even if it's not her. If your doctor friend really cares about you, I think she'd like it if you were happy."

"How much did that shark guy tell you?"

"That she's the love of your life but you don't mind too much because you can be open about it with her."

Jiraiya grunted and took another drink in response. He set his bottle down with a sigh. A while passed in silence, and Yahiko thought he should go back to the table with the others soon. He was getting hungry. "What's this 'something else' that Nagato's busy with?" Jiraiya asked.

"I don't know," Yahiko admitted. "Hidan just said he was taking Nagato somewhere and made it seem like it was really important."

"I was really looking forward to meeting him," Jiraiya grumbled. "I could tell from that one meeting that he's grown up a lot since you two were kids. He's definitely a man now."

"Yeah. But… I've heard that he has issues, too. Things he's insecure about. Hidan's been helping him with that. Maybe that's what they're doing right now?"

"Hidan's the guy with the charm powers, right? He sure seems to be doing a lot."

"That's kind of his main power: making things happen. It just usually takes the form of convincing us to take chances on ideas we usually wouldn't."

"Like this?" Jiraiya gestured at Yahiko's entire body.

Yahiko blushed. "No. This was my own idea. But he's been helping me be a lot more confident about it."

Something about the movement of people beyond Jiraiya's head drew Yahiko's attention then. He looked in that direction, back the way they had come, where the rest of the group was. His ninja brain had noticed Konan making her way through the intervening people. Konan appeared at their booth and turned to Jiraiya, not even glancing at Yahiko. "My apologies if I am interrupting. There is something I wish to know about you in this world, Jiraiya sensei. Did you have any other childhood friends besides Tsunade?"

"Ehh… No. Why do you ask?"

"It is not important." She left as quickly as she had come.

"Jeez. She's a brisk one, isn't she?"

Yahiko nodded. "Yep! She's so organized. Nagato and I really get bogged down a lot. She stays on track and takes care of all the details."

"That doesn't match with what I've heard."

"Well… She has some mental health stuff going on."

Jiraiya finished his second drink. "I'm starting to think you're right. I'm already getting a sense of her. If this is what she's normally like, I can see why you two like her so much."

Yahiko smiled. Yes! He's already warming up to her. He accepts me for who I might be and he's warming up to Konan. How much better can this day get?

"Do either of you, ah, like her like her?" Jiraiya asked, a familiar grin making its way onto his face.

"Oh, no!" Yahiko exclaimed. "I thought she was kind of pretty in the beginning, yeah. But we're not compatible at all. She's way too intense and wild. And she would hate it if I had that kind of interest in her. She dated my original, and, I think if anything like that happened here it would hurt. No way."

"And Nagato thinks of her like a sister. Are either of you ever going to get a date?"

Yahiko hesitated. Before he could answer, his stomach growled. He put a hand over it. Jiraiya blinked. "You haven't eaten yet? Don't let me hold you up."

"This was amazing," Yahiko said. "Better than I dared to hope for. I had no idea you would be so accepting of this stuff. It blows my mind to think that you actually have personal experience with it and I never noticed. Never would have suspected."

"Word of advice: never take anyone for granted," Jiraiya said. "You never know what kind of hidden depths they have."

"I'm starting to think I take a lot of people for granted. But I'll try."

Jiraiya leaned forward. "Trust me. Nothing is sexier to a woman than a man who genuinely wants to know her. They love that back and forth game where you reveal things about yourselves and try not to be the first to reveal too much."

"Being genuinely curious about someone is attractive. Got it. Great advice as always!" Yahiko released the Transformation Jutsu. "I'm really hungry though. Can I get your contact info, and then I'll message you, and you can message me back with the place online where people talk about their experiences?" Jiraiya agreed and did just that. Yahiko sent him a simple message: Hi! "Thank you. So much. It really means a lot." Yahiko bent over to give him a hug before leaving. Jiraiya wasn't a huggy person, but Yahiko had hugged him before because he was and Jiraiya knew this and let him. He's always been so accepting of me, even where I'm very different from him. I wish he had been my dad. He and Nagato and Konan - they're my real family. I feel like I belong with them.

As Yahiko joined the rest of the Akatsuki at their crowded booth, he thought of appearing in his female form in front of them at a campfire. He imagined himself walking out the back door, them all turning to look…and then he imagined something happening. Sasori raising a water bottle in a toast and welcoming him over. Yahiko tried not to gawk at the engineer. What was this? How was he suddenly capable of imagining that? He thought about wearing makeup, and for the first time in his life did not feel the looming spectre of his father's disappointment. He was not a disappointment. He was accepted. He was loved.

"How was it?" Itachi whispered. Itachi was wedged in right next to him.

"My life has changed," Yahiko replied.

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A/N: I ship Jiraiya and Orochimaru together very much. If not for Orochimaru leaving Konoha, they could have been so good together! Squeee.

Man Jiraiya's just awesome. I may not know how to write his dialogue - for some reason my idea of his "tone" is inextricably bound to his accent and specific vocal pattern, which was in another language and not reproducible here - but I'm loving the heck out of his character. Cool dads rock!

I also don't know exactly what Yahiko's sexual orientation is. We'll find that out together.

Woohoo! Next week, coming up!