A/N: The story described in the following chapter is my own story, Twospirit. I'm very proud of it. If the description intrigues you, please go give it a read. No, I don't consider this to be a shameless plug.

Happy happy yes many quick advances yes yes yes!

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General

A light drizzle started that night, so dinner was eaten in the sunroom, where the soft, fluffy carpeting made for comfortable sitting. "It is required that you spill," Sasori told those who had gone to the demon's hospital. Kakuzu and Kisame backed him up on this. Konan realized with a jolt that this was at least the second time the group had ended up divided roughly along these lines. This time, there wasn't even any particular reason why that should be the case; it was just that none of those three had volunteered, and almost everyone else had. Nothing had been decided, no lines drawn, but it seemed that the Akatsuki had nevertheless developed a stable, enduring structure where those three were holdouts. She would have to make her plans accordingly going forward.

Hidan began. "I'm just gonna say, it went fucking amazingly. Even the newbies had a great time." He gestured for Yahiko to take over.

Yahiko grinned. "The demon boy had an adventure set up for us! We decided to explore the hospital's basement, which we got into through holes in the floor. It was all dark and we had to find our way around by chakra light, which isn't very bright, so anything beyond a couple feet was darkness. It was perfect horror movie lighting, you know, where something could pop up right in your face and you never saw it coming. At first, we were nervous enough just being in the dark in a creepy basement, so he didn't do anything. But then we poked around a few rooms, got more confident, and when we were exploring the kitchen the door closed behind us. It took all our strength to push it open again, because now there was a dead body leaning against it. The illusion of one, anyway." He gulped. "There was nothing out there when we checked."

Kakuzu shook his head sympathetically. "That kid's ability to make things where there wasn't anything before is the worst thing about him."

"It was scary," Yahiko said. "But that was the whole point. It wouldn't be any fun if he couldn't." Samehada chirped in agreement. "So the three of us went back out, me, Dei and Hidan, and Hidan had a giant ladle he'd taken from the kitchen and decided would be an effective weapon. He told us that now that he had a weapon, we would be split up so the two of us wouldn't just spend the whole adventure clinging to him. He was right. I think we were in separate dimensions or something. So Dei and I kept checking out rooms -"

"Hold, hold," Sasori commanded. "Separate dimensions?"

"Yeah, like, different levels of reality? Where people can be in the same place but not sense each other, and different things happen to them? Like ghosts in movies," Yahiko explained. "Except ghosts in movies can see into the human dimension, but in the hospital, it was a complete separation. Nobody could see anything."

Konan nodded. "The demon boy has that power. As soon as two people lose sight of each other, he can separate them in exactly that way."

"Ookay," Kisame said. "Continue."

"We went into a room and the door closed behind us. We, uh, didn't do anything to stop it. I mean… There was a hand on the door." Yahiko turned to Deidara. The blonde nodded and agreed that you absolutely do not touch a door that is being guided shut by a creepy hand. "And after that," Yahiko said, brightening, "it turned into a puzzle room!"

"A puzzle room," Kakuzu repeated.

"Yeah, you know, like one of those games you can play online. We had to search the room for a secret exit, because the door was locked, and the key to that exit. The demon boy gave me the ability to use waterbending for a while, which was super fun. We went through a tunnel that was probably real, not something he created, and then we got back into the hallway and heard a monster coming. We ran away, found a guardpost, and only realized after we searched it that duh, a guardpost in a creepy hospital is probably going to be right next to the stairs." Yahiko laughed. "It was so much fun!"

"I got over my fear of the dark, yeah," Deidara said. "I've always been afraid of bugs and stuff ever since I heard that urban legend about bugs crawling into your mouth while you sleep. And I think my mouths release a totally different kind of chakra - I couldn't make chakra light. So it was extra scary just being down there, yeah. But I helped figure out the puzzle room!" He grinned.

"As soon as I got separated," Hidan said, "I heard shuffling footsteps in the dark. I kept walking forward. I mean, they were pretty slow, and not close to me. But then I heard all the doors creak open, and more shuffling footsteps. I put my chakra light out. Sunshine was right; that shit was only good for horror movie lighting, jump scares and shit. I didn't need light, so why bother? Just using my ears, I started bashing them over the head with Spoony. They got kinda close and there were a lot of them, so I had to start jumping all over the place, from walls to ceiling and everywhere to keep from being grabbed. The acrobatics were super fun. It was so much fun that, after I bashed them all over the head and went back to exploring, the first door I opened was a portal to Hell. Literally all it did was send out a giant tongue to swallow Spoony. Then more doors opened, and I had to do even more acrobatics to dodge them. My sense of fun and the kid's were perfectly aligned right then. I thought it was the best shit ever! I made it to the stairs, same as they did, and waited a couple minutes for them to come out."

Sasori clapped, because it seemed the polite thing to do. Samehada trilled and flapped his fins. Hidan bowed as well as he could while sitting with a plate of half-finished food in his lap. Kakuzu nodded, which from him was more than enough to make Deidara glow with pride. And Kisame muttered, "I don't think I could have done that. Or at least not had fun while doing it."

"Meanwhile, I had an excellent time playing bouncy tunes to ghostly children," Itachi said. "Two of them even summoned the strength to become visible. The demon boy took the form of a golden retriever and lay beside me." Hidan shot him a jealous look.

"So you went to the demon's house, and he was the perfect host," Sasori summarized. "He was polite, fluffy, and arranged a good time for everyone."

"He's growing up so much," Hidan said while wiping a tear from his eye.

"Maybe to you, he is," Kakuzu grumbled. "He stole money from me recently."

"What?! I told him not to do that!"

"And now he knows why not. I refuse to play with him anymore."

Hidan sighed. Kisame looked around warily. Konan reorganized her plans. People finished their food. After a minute, Nagato cleared his throat. "I have news," he said, glancing at Hidan. Hidan started to smile, unable to help himself. "Hidan and I are together now," Nagato announced in an awkward, stumbling voice. "Heh."

"What?" Kisame looked up. "You mean you weren't already?"

"Congratulations," Itachi said. Hidan purred and wrapped an arm around Nagato's shoulders. Samehada finally realized "together" meant "mated" and cheered, flipping around so wildly that Kakuzu had to move out of the way.

Nagato blinked in confusion. "You thought we were already dating?" he asked Kisame.

"Uh, yeah. It's been obvious that you guys liked each other from the start," Kisame said. "I figured that was something else your whole side of the group was keeping private to avoid awkwardness or something."

"Didn't you say we were all bachelors?" Yahiko asked.

"I was simplifying. I just wanted to make a point about how weird it was to be talking about advice for dealing with unrequited love when nobody there actually needed said advice."

Every other person, including Samehada, looked at him. Kisame drew back slightly. "What is it?" he asked, eyes darting around.

"You don't actually know very much about what human relationships look like, do you?" Sasori asked.

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"This is technically none of our business, but care to explain anyway?" Kakuzu asked Nagato, who had turned nearly as red as his hair.

"I don't know how to explain it," Nagato squeaked.

"I do," Hidan said. "Konan and I are together, and me and Moonlight are also together, and Moonlight's always had a real thing for Sunshine, and so do I. I told him about it when we were getting ready to meet with that other group." He drew lines in the air. "So it's a rectangle with one side open and one diagonal."

Kisame looked at Nagato and Yahiko. "So you two actually were dealing with it. Oh." He turned purplish. "Well… Was the advice helpful?"

"Yeah, it helped me be not awkward when hanging out with Hidan," Yahiko said.

"Didn't help me much, but it was nice to hear. Jiraiya never talked about his personal life that much," Nagato said. "I wish he had. It would've been nice."

Nagato's words opened a window of possibility. Suddenly something that would have seemed very strange to discuss, except if Hidan said it, was available. The members of the Akatsuki looked at each other in quick, furtive glances. Would it be nice to talk about their personal lives? Or would it be strange and awkward?

Hidan decided he was the best person to find out. "Before Konan showed up and introduced me to all of you, I thought I would never have anyone who could really understand me. I was distant from most people. So I'd never been in love before. Raise your hand if the same's true of you." He raised his hand. After some hesitation, others did too. Sasori raised his hand, and Deidara, and Kisame. Yahiko raised his hand. Itachi did.

They lowered their hands simultaneously, somehow sensing that no more hands were going to go up. "You're kidding," Kisame exclaimed. "Kakuzu? You had somebody once?"

"I've always had to keep struggling for my place in the world," Kakuzu said. "No time for cushiness, no time to relax. She wasn't that sort. It didn't work out."

This was a great revelation. Nobody, not even Hidan, expected Kakuzu's long past to include anything of the sort. But that wasn't why Hidan was struck speechless. There was someone else in the room who hadn't raised a hand or any equivalent body part, and he had a sudden feeling he knew why. Eh…no. Nope. I am not brave enough to open that can of wyrms. Beside him, Nagato started to comb his hair with his hands and look in any direction except Samehada's.

Kisame didn't notice. "So we're going for this," he said, looking around. "Alright. Raise your hand if that situation's changed since you got here."

Deidara raised his hand. "I'm dating Laurie now, I think."

Hidan raised his hand. "Obviously."

Yahiko slumped. "I'm just not ready, I guess."

"You'll find someone, Sunshine. I fucking know it." Hidan sighed after saying this. Nagato winced.

Sasori shrugged. "I'm not that kind of person."

"I do not know whether I am or am not that kind of person," Itachi murmured. "The way that I relate to other people deviates from the standard so much that I can't find a set of standards that matches it." Nagato was sitting next to him, so he gave Itachi a reassuring pat on the back.

"I don't think I'm ready for it either," Kisame said. "I've barely learned how to make and keep friends. Making and keeping a romance? Whole other level. I would be so far out of my depth." Samehada quietly whimpered. Kakuzu glanced at the shark, then up at Kisame.

"I read a story once where the main character was a troubled soul with a terrible past, and he was saved by the power of love," Yahiko said. "It was his own love, and three different kinds. He was saved by his love for a friend, his love for a brother, and his love for a…a…way of life? A role? He loved teaching, I mean. That was what pulled him out of the darkness. He also had a girl that he fell in love with, but they didn't get together until after he was saved because he was in no shape for a relationship until then. Every time I think it's weird that I've still never been on a date, I remember that story and realize I'm totally fine. I have all those other kinds of love. I'm actually really fortunate."

Sasori had been smiling ever since the second sentence. "Now that's a love story I would love to read. Send me the information." Yahiko took out his phone and sent a text message. Everyone's phones dinged. He had sent the information to the group chat in case anyone else would like to read the story. Sasori copy-pasted it into a text message he sent to himself.

Meanwhile, Konan's interest was in a different aspect of Yahiko's description. "What kind of troubles?"

"Uh, well, in his past he was always criticized, so in the story he has to deal with a mental voice that puts him down and twists his thinking so that he believes all kinds of things that aren't true." Konan quietly pulled out her phone, read the information, then retyped it into an email she sent to herself. She had decided to make an email account for this sole purpose.

"I am a firm advocate for more love stories where two people have a meet cute, are put on the same project together, and realize they work super well together and go on to be lifelong friends and partners," Sasori said. "Where the hell are those stories?" He was more animated than anyone had ever seen him.

"I agree," Itachi said. "I fantasize about knowing my place in life." He had also saved the information for later. "And it seems like many people today are unhappy with their place in the world, the work that they do, and the role they play or don't play in their communities. Where are the stories that cater to those fantasies?"

"Just because I'm aromantic shouldn't mean I get left out of enjoying wish fulfillment stories," Sasori said. "I don't lack imagination. I am not a puppet."

"The romance genre is just unrepresentative of many people," Itachi said. "I also think it's unfair that so many of them start with a moment of eye contact and a zing. Not everybody makes eye contact, or uses physical attraction to determine their romantic interest. I have never heard of a movie where a character receives a text from someone who had the wrong number, they get along well and decide to stay in touch, help each other through separate but interconnected crises, fall in love, meet and establish a life together. But I want that movie to be made. It should exist."

"I was watching this Youtuber that goes through LGBT subreddits and reacts to them," Sasori said. "He came across a meme, and I don't know if it was real or just made up for the meme, about a video on Pornhub that's just a couple having a personal conversation and validating each other's feelings. If that video exists, I want to know why Pornhub is more inclusive of the ace/aro community than the Hallmark channel is."

The two most tranquil and laidback members of the group were working each other up to heights of passion never before seen over a topic nobody had suspected they had such strong opinions about. Sasori looked genuinely angry, and Itachi's voice was longing. Many members of the group were surprised to hear that Sasori felt left out or Itachi felt ignored. Itachi seemed to be so content looking in from the outside. Sasori seemed not to have any interest in mushy heartwarming stuff. After a month of fighting side by side, how much did they still not know about each other?

Deidara and Yahiko paid especially close attention to the conversation. For all their efforts to educate themselves, they had a long way to go. Neither had any idea what Youtuber Sasori was referring to. They had never thought so much about the romance genre, had never decided to pay close attention to who was left out. They hadn't imagined anything that should exist but didn't. Deidara slumped, disappointed in himself. It's a completely different world from the one I live in, yeah. I can't go and live there any more than they can live in mine. I'm never going to be fluent. I'm never going to understand. This sucks, yeah.

Yahiko was startled. I can understand what they're talking about? How? I'm not part of that community. So why does everything they say sound so familiar? "I agree," he said. "That movie should exist, because it is the most heartwarming thing I can think of. Why would anyone who wants to make money not make a movie that would reduce me to tears? I can't be alone in that. Why would a company ignore a customer base?"

"Because they think it's too small to bother with," Sasori answered.

"But that's what I'm saying. I'm straight. I'm not asexual or any other marginalized identity, and that sounds like a movie I want to see right now. It can't be a small customer base. There must be lots of people who would love to see that."

"Yes, but there is the perceived risk of alienation," Itachi said. "That if you did make a product catering to a different audience than normal, your normal audience would be dissatisfied and leave."

"That's not a thing here," Yahiko protested. "It's not a different audience than normal. It's the same audience, just the part that likes slow-burn stories and doesn't need all the eye contact and tension. That's just a question of different interests. Creators make different stories depending on your interest all the time. If you make animated movies, you can make ones that are bittersweet and ones that are happy and ones about the power of family and ones about the power of friendship. That's not changing the audience!"

"I did say perceived," Itachi murmured. "And it appears that studio executives don't have the most accurate perceptions."

"But - but -"

"You understand my outrage perfectly," Sasori told him. Yahiko stared back at him, flabbergasted. Was the movie industry, nay, the whole cultural products industry, really so unfair? Sasori was his friend. He couldn't imagine why anyone would be unfair to his friends. They were good people and didn't deserve that.

"Sounds like you guys have a great idea for an indie studio," Nagato said. "A small movie studio that exclusively makes the kind of romance movies Hallmark won't. It could work. Romance movies don't need that big a budget."

"Ace Studios," Sasori said. "Oh god, I'm imagining an advertising campaign already."

"That needs to be a thing," Yahiko said with just as much longing as Itachi.

Deidara elbowed him. "Uh, dude? Are you sure you're not any kind of marginalized identity? Because I'm not, and I don't understand what they're talking about or why they care so much. It feels like a whole different world from the one I live in, yeah. But it's clearly the same world you live in."

"Oi!" Hidan interrupted. "New rule: no provoking personal crises in front of the whole group. If that shit occurs to you, save it for a private discussion later."

"We already live by that rule," Deidara protested. "I'm just poking at him, not pro -" He blinked. In a very small voice, he continued, "But there's no actual way I can know what I'm talking about because I'm not like that. Dammit." He curled up and stared at the floor.

Yahiko put an arm around him. "It's okay. I don't mind being asked that. It's not something I'm worried about. I'm pretty sure I'm straight. I think girls are pretty. If a pretty girl came right up to me, I would blush."

Deidara uncurled a little. "Then why do you care so much about love stories? Is it because you care so much about Nagato? I think I care about my friends. I'm not some selfish person, right?"

No, it's not that. I didn't know Nagato was part of that community until today. Yahiko struggled to explain himself. "Well, I like those kinds of stories that go really slowly and have people being great friends for most of the time. My interests aren't the sort that get catered to. And I've never been in love and sometimes I feel bad about that, so I would like a story that comforts me."

Deidara looked down over his knees. "Maybe I'm jumping to conclusions, yeah. I just don't get this stuff. I've been trying to understand. I've been reading an LGBT wiki and looking up stuff, and trying to wrap my head around it, but it seems like I can't really do it. Like I'll just never be a part of that world. I want to understand my friends, but I just… Can't."

His words made everybody sad, because it was something they had all felt. As if they never quite belonged in the world. Sasori asked, "Dei?"

"Yeah?"

"That's exactly how I feel when I watch a normal Hallmark-style love story."

Deidara looked up at him. "It is?"

"Yeah. You understand the members of marginalized communities better than you think. That's how many of us feel, being locked out of common understanding."

Deidara looked around. Half the people he looked at were some flavor of LGBT. Of those that weren't, nearly all of them had mental health troubles or some other very difficult circumstance to explain why a normal life was beyond their reach, at least for now. "Am I the token normal guy?" he realized.

"Yeah," Hidan said.

"This is what it feels like to be a token?"

"Yep."

"Token normal guy?" Kisame asked.

"The only normal person in a group of people who are exceptional," Kakuzu explained. "See also: token gay guy, token trans character, token straight guy, token girl. The only such character in a whole cast of characters that aren't."

"You and Laurie are a great match," Sasori said. "She feels exactly the same way being ordinary while we're all wizard ninjas. You should talk about it with her."

Deidara pulled out his phone and began to type. It was assumed that he was messaging Laurie. The rest of the group moved on to other things. "So," Sasori began. "Does this make any difference that we should care about?"

"I might kiss him in public," Hidan swooned. "Once I'm comfortable with that. It's still way too big a deal for me to be so casual." His arm was still around Nagato's shoulders. It had never left.

"I think we'll keep separate rooms and stuff, so, no. There's not going to be a reorganization or anything," Nagato added.

Samehada squealed and flapped his fins. Kisame looked down at him. "Aw, crap. You've been listening to everything they just said so quietly, without reacting to it. I take it that means you didn't understand any of it." Samehada made confused sounds. "Dammit. How do I explain…"

"People have all kinds of rituals that we do around mating that, like, aren't part of mating itself," Hidan said. "And we like to talk about those things. It's a really big part of what we talk about. But there are certain kinds of people who don't perform the same rituals, so they can't talk to the people who do, and vice versa. They can't share understanding about this thing that people instinctively want to share. They want to talk but they can't."

Samehada made a keening sound and started to wiggle in distress. He understood. Even some humans couldn't talk to other humans? That was very sad. Maybe it was even more sad for them than for him, because he knew that he was a shark and it explained everything. But if a human couldn't talk, there was no explanation. Not having an explanation also felt bad. Samehada always felt itchy when the humans were talking about something that was obvious to them, as if moss had gotten under his scales. Itchy and sad. No good bad!

"Don't worry, Same." Kisame put a reassuring hand on the top of his head. "Sasori and Itachi and everyone else might have sounded upset just now, but they weren't. They were having their own discussion about, uh, rituals, that they share. People who have the different rituals can talk to each other. They only sounded upset because they were sharing complaints, but you know that's a normal thing for humans to do and it doesn't mean we're actually in distress."

Wait, what?! Samehada did not know that. He knew it was a normal thing for humans to do, but that must mean that humans were plagued by worries and sadnesses and spent their lives being unhappy. Samehada never would have made a connection between "normal" and "doesn't hurt." He sent up a loud trill of many feelings. "Oh, shit," said the big person. "No, I don't think he knew that."

"What? We've had a lot of talks about how human beings like to complain all the time," Human Cousin said.

Big Person shook his head. "Not that. I only felt the big shock after you said it doesn't indicate actual unhappiness."

Human Cousin blinked. "...Oh. Crap. I can see it now." He turned to Samehada. "Yeah, it's kind of like… Like if you spend a lot of time running, your muscles get strong, so it doesn't burn. Or if you run with your bare feet on dirt and your feet get tough so they don't get hurt by little rocks anymore. That's a better analogy. Our minds can get toughened too, so we can complain about all the things we complain about without actually getting very sad or angry or upset about them. It's more like sharing jokes or stories at that point. Just entertainment. Nothing that hurts."

Samehada was very confused. The humans just now had felt all sorts of ways about what they were sharing. It obviously had not been harmless entertainment. But Human Cousin would never lie to him. What was going on?

"That's not exactly true." Samehada looked up at Stitch Human on his other side. Stitch Human had a strange look to him. Samehada licked the air to pick up traces of his chakra. Sadness? "The mind doesn't work just like the skin does. It can't become resistant to damage. You might not feel pain anymore, but that doesn't mean you're okay." Stitch Human looked away. "It can mean the opposite. If you don't feel pain, you don't feel anything else either, including sappy stuff like love. What's the point of having a heart then? It means your heart's so damaged it doesn't work anymore. What the hell's the point of complaining if you don't get angry? It means you'll never do anything to solve the problem."

Scars! No-feeling hurt places. Samehada knew what scars were. Now he understood. He was right after all. Humans spent a lot of time hurting. But then they got scars, and didn't notice how hurt they were anymore. Samehada had always wondered why humans weren't more careful not to hurt themselves by being so unhappy, why they didn't seem to realize they shouldn't hurt themselves. Scars made sense. But wait - scars on the body didn't make people fling themselves into danger. He warbled Question? at Stitch Human.

Stitch Human didn't understand. "What are you asking about now?"

"Sammy," Kisame said, putting his hand on the shark's head. "Give me a second. I have something I want to ask him." He raised an eyebrow at Kakuzu. "You're one to talk. What are you doing, arguing in defense of sappiness? You're the most defensive person I know."

"Which makes me the expert on all its downsides," Kakuzu replied. "I've been trying to open up lately, remember? I've gotten too defensive for my own good. I know exactly what problems it leads to."

"Yeah, but… Honestly, it's weird to hear you talking about the L-word."

"Do I look like I'm incapable of change?"

"I'm not saying that. It's just that you've obviously been like this for a while, and…"

Kakuzu clenched his fists. "And I'm too old to change? Is that it?"

"No, no," Kisame said, raising his hands like a shield. "Not that."

"You think I'm too tough and too old to be adaptable anymore? Like a dried up piece of jerky?"

Kakuzu was starting to get a familiar look in his eyes. Kisame's throat went dry, and he inched backward at every growled word. "I just thought that's how you are," he forced out through vocal cords rigid with fear.

Kakuzu did not get angrier after hearing that. He didn't calm down, but at least he didn't slip any closer to the dangerous edge. "I've been this tough person for so long that you mistook it for something I was born as?"

"Kinda."

Kakuzu relaxed, just a little. "I used to think the same myself," he admitted. "Because I learned to be this way when I was so young I don't remember it clearly. But I've been thinking about my childhood recently, and now I think differently."

"I guess…" Hidan frowned. "I guess it's true that nobody's born tough. Every kid has that wide-eyed look, at least until they get it beaten out of them. You must've been like that at some point, even though I totally agree with Sharkface that it's fucking weird to imagine any version of you that's not all stern and shit."

"I don't remember ever being like that," Kakuzu said.

"Now I'm wondering when I became so paranoid and untrusting," Kisame murmured. "I don't remember being adorable either. My first memory is of someone pushing me in kindergarten and me being scared that a teacher would get involved."

Samehada made a broad, low trill. It was of understanding. So the scars were gotten so young that they thought they'd been born with them. That made sense. It was very, very sad. He whimpered and nuzzled Human Cousin, trying to comfort him.

"Speaking of that…" Kakuzu looked out at everyone else. "What was this 'conspiracy' I overheard being discussed this morning?"

"Just some personal stuff that happened last night," Yahiko said. "I had a really great talk with Jiraiya about, um, super personal stuff. And I'm starting to think the mystery place Hidan and Nagato went to was a date."

"No it wasn't," Hidan and Nagato said at the same time. They paused. "But it was kinda personal," Hidan added.

"I'm really not ready to talk about it in front of everyone at once," Nagato said.

"Me either," Yahiko said. They smiled at each other. Konan's eyes widened. They understand each other's secrets now? She felt warm all over and couldn't help but smile.

Her first instinct was to hide it to protect her dignity. She decided that, as there would be no distinctly negative consequences for doing so, there was no reason to suppress her first instinct. She stood up and turned away. "This has been a most excellent meeting. But it would be best to go to bed now." She bent down to pick up her empty plate, then left.

"No conspiracy," Hidan summarized. "Just a bunch of people figuring stuff out."

"In that case, she had the right idea." Kakuzu picked up his plate and left. There were murmurs of agreement and others started to do the same.

"So…" Nagato said to Hidan as everybody else left. "Everybody except Kisame and Yahiko knew I liked him. But they all kept my secret. I was trying to learn how to accept myself, so why didn't I try to copy others' example? Why didn't I give them a chance to accept me so I could see what it looked like? I've been so stupid."

"You know what'll cheer you up?" Hidan said.

"What?"

"Dessert!" Hidan took him by the arm and pulled him in the direction of the kitchen. "Come on, Kakuzu got the bread and cream cheese earlier. Even if he has been so tough for so long that it's just how he is, he can be kinda sweet too. Nobody's incapable, if only they try."

.

A/N: The idea of Kakuzu having had a girlfriend in the past comes from a story I have in my favorites list: "Bloodstream," by Hurlstein. That story has an OC main character who is forcibly conscripted into helping Kakuzu and Hidan deal with Orochimaru. The plan is that she will be killed afterwards, but it's becoming increasingly doubtful that that's actually going to happen considering that she becomes close to both of them and she's being shipped with Kakuzu. The story reveals to us the audience a lot about (the author's idea of) Hidan and Kakuzu's backstories, which I found fascinating to read. I would definitely recommend it if they're among your favorite characters. It's unfinished and updates are slow and possibly not coming anymore, but the last chapter (as of now, chapter 22) finishes up a plot arc and contains the first distinctly romantic moment, so it's not that jarring. It's almost exactly the kind of slow burn romance described in this chapter.

Speaking of, everything Sasori and Itachi said about the romance genre is something I have to say. And yes, I did watch a Youtuber who reviews subreddits cover that exact meme just a few days ago. The Youtuber's channel is One Topic At a Time. Very recommended.

Man, I love it when I can just have characters reference stuff from my real life instead of having to invent something. It helps so much. I hope to do more of it in the future. Stay snazzy, everyone!