A/N: ...

Koalas can be quite aggressive! As can all animals. Never stereotype living beings.

Yeah, I've got nothing. Enjoy the chapter.

Edit: Ruta does something I would not do in this chapter. He drives.

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General

Hidan and Deidara went to visit the demon boy, who agreed to all requests to use his grounds. "Fighting is fun!" was his reason, and he didn't care if it was only training or if vampires got involved. The idea made him so excited that Hidan and Deidara let down their guard. He took advantage of this to spring upon them a new dimension he had just thought of. It was based upon a certain work of M. C. Escher's.

Yahiko copied the library's scrolls, carefully put them into a canyon he constructed from his books (which he really ought to be reading - they were nearly due), then took the papers to his newly built worksite on the river. There, he found Hatakes examining the changes. They approved of almost all of it, except, as he thought, his new workspace. He sighed and put one palm over his eyes. "Yeah, that… That's a thing that Konan was already planning to add, and she didn't feel like waiting around for permission. We thought the river would help me practice some stuff…" Thankfully, they agreed to let him hang around once he explained what he would be doing. We just really should have gotten permission first.

Kisame went over his speech in his head. Nagato secured a last-minute position as one of the dog shelter's representatives. Itachi practiced his music. Sasori and Ruta went over what to say and how. Laurie interrupted every so often to call them back to their actual jobs. Kakuzu tried every trick he knew to pry information out of Konan, up to and including asking for it nicely. She refused to say anything more specific than, "They may be needed." In case of what? Kakuzu knew she had some specific scenarios in mind in which they would need extra weapons, and he felt he was more than within his rights to demand to know what those scenarios were. Any scenario where they would need more than two dozen weapons per person would involve him, he was sure. "It is not relevant to you," she told him. Do I believe that? Hell no. But all he could do was fume.

The day passed all too quickly.

Kisame

Kisame drove himself to the dog shelter. As he stepped out of his car, he gulped. There were already tables out, posters, and signs and banners to guide visitors. It reminded him vividly of graduation. It wasn't just a metaphor, was it? In order to prove himself, he would have to navigate a ceremony nearly identical to the one which had made him shower as soon as he got home from it. The feeling of eyes on him, of being on a stage… Ugh.

He saw the other people who were going to be at the table with him and joined them. The one with the most carrying capacity opened up his car, which contained the table and tent and supplies. They spent a while putting everything up, which relaxed Kisame. It was like his normal job. When it was all done, his nerves returned.

The others sounded happy. They weren't afraid. They fell into conversation with each other easily, naturally, about how excited they were to be picked for this team and how much they liked working with the public. One of them was especially fond of kids. Kisame remembered the child who had yelled at him when last he ventured into the main room of the aquarium - "Mistress Blubber of the Arctic Kingdom is MINE!" - and shuddered. If I can't even talk to these people, who I work with, how am I going to talk to random strangers? Oh god.

He pulled out his phone and texted Itachi. Help I'm freaking out.

Itachi's reply: Samehada and I are a few buildings down. Look towards the technology store.

That was another thing. Kisame hadn't fully realized what effect not having Samehada nearby would have on him. Without his constant companion, he felt as if he had been flayed alive and every nerve was exposed. He went up to the parking lot entrance and looked. He saw Itachi wave, a dark shape at his side. Kisame waved back, but it didn't help. He was all too aware of his shark's absence as he went back to the table.

Despite how embarrassing he thought it might seem, he couldn't stop himself from latching onto Tammy as soon as she appeared. "I'm freaking out," he whispered.

"I'm here," she whispered back.

"Get Same. He's with Itachi at the tech store. Nobody's here yet, and I need him."

Kisame saw Nagato among the team of people who set up the dog shelter's own position, as promised, and was greatly relieved. Finally, the barriers were taken down and the parking lot was opened to visitors. It was Go Time. Kisame waited a nerve-inducing five minutes, but as promised, Yahiko was one of the first visitors to arrive. He and Deidara and Clay dropped out of the sky unexpectedly, a large white shape appearing suddenly in the middle of the parking lot, making Kisame jump.

"Could either of you have borrowed a car ride?" he hissed.

"Nope," Deidara said, grinning.

Strangely, Kisame found that reassuring.

"Hidan and Konan are walking in," Yahiko told him. "They'll come with the regular visitors."

"Hey, Kisame, stop chatting with your friends and get over here," one of his coworkers called. Kisame raised a hand in apology and went back to the table. Wait a second. Did I just get told off for chatting too much with my friends? Unironically? Maybe I'm more ready than I thought.

Samehada chirred and headbutted Kisame's legs as he rejoined the table crew. "You guys need something?"

"We were just curious," one of them said. "We don't really know anything about you or why you're here. No offense, but…"

"I'm here because I'm the one who came up with this whole idea, and I'm gonna explain it to people."

"Oh."

Kisame bent down to stroke Samehada's scales. As his hands felt the familiar smooth yet treacherous sensation run across them, his whole body relaxed. Samehada was here. Together, they were whole. Together, they could face anything. "What are you guys going to be doing?"

"Enticing people to -"

"Hold up, you're the guy who thought of this?"

Kisame fought not to lean away from one of his tablemates, who sprang up from the table and got in his face. It was a young man, barely out of high school if Kisame's judgment was accurate. He stared up at Kisame with a worryingly fervent look. "You're the guy who went and said it to people? I mean - I - I always thought - but I never would have said it, I mean, how stupid would that sound - you - you actually suggested to people that we should give animals toys? You? I'm not trying to start something - it's just - I thought it must have taken someone amazing to convince the people who run the place to care about how much fun the animals have. I thought…"

Kisame wasn't sure what to feel. Offense? Agreement? Honored? He couldn't even decide if it was a compliment or not.

Then he noticed how the kid flushed and stopped talking, backed away. He heard Deidara laugh. It's not a compliment or an insult. The kid just couldn't stop himself from expressing how bad he feels that he wasn't brave enough to suggest it. He's just talking from his own confusion.

Kisame put a hand on the boy's shoulder. "You want to know the secret?"

His tablemate nodded. All the others leaned in closer.

"I've worked at the aquarium for a long time without saying a word. When you do that, it builds up inside you, until you don't need to be strong to say something. All you need is the strength to give yourself a tiny nudge. You'd be surprised how similar amazing strength and desperation look."

The kid nodded. "I think too much. I wonder how to do things, and I don't know, so I don't do anything at all."

"This is one case where being older really does help. Give it enough time, and you'll either learn how to do things or run out of fucks to give. It'll be fine. Don't worry."

"Thanks."

Kisame took his hand back and nodded. Samehada trilled happily up at him. Kisame turned to look out across the parking lot, to the entrance where cars would appear.

Vehicles began to appear. More came than Kisame had expected. One car drove in, then another just three minutes later, then a group of two. The first one was a single man, the second a man and a woman, and the group of two was a whole family. The man wandered around, just looking. The couple stayed at the dog shelter's table to ask increasingly detailed questions about the dogs, which Nagato happily answered. One of those dogs was going to find a new home soon. Kisame swallowed as soon as he saw the family get out of their cars, because they had two young children and that meant they were probably headed straight for the dog shelter's table. They would force the young couple to move on. When they moved on…

Kisame carefully scrutinized the young couple as they walked over. They seemed giggly and not the sort to take offence to ideas that were unusual. Good. An easy question.

"You're from the aquarium?" the man asked. "Neat."

"Yes!" The young man fell naturally into his role. "As another prominent business in this area that cares for, feeds, and shelters animals, we naturally wanted to spread word in the community as well. Would you like to hear about what you can do to help us create an equitable, sustainable two-way partnership with the animals that are our ambassadors to the natural world?"

Kisame personally thought the pitch sounded icky. Partnership? Ambassadors? Gack. As if he could hear Kisame's thoughts, Samehada nudged his hand and rumbled. Wait. Partners are exactly what the Hatakes have. Holy shit, it's not hippy bullshit. It's reality.

"Like, donations and stuff?" the lady asked.

"Yeah," Kisame said. "It doesn't have to be money, though that would be nice. We're putting a new program through the works to give our animals enrichment activities: toys and stuff so they don't get bored. You know the typical zoo model of jamming animals into places that are the right temperature and size for them to survive in, sometimes with other animals, and as long as they survive and don't get sick that's it? Some of us are starting to aim a little higher."

This was the pitch that made the couple's eyes widen. "Seriously?" the lady sputtered. "What do you mean? What would that even look like?"

Kisame looked down at Samehada, who reared up to lick his hand. "We have this one octopus," he began. "That little bastard escapes at least once every other week. The funny thing is, he can usually be found in or trying to get in another exhibit. He doesn't hurt anyone, except some kinds of snail. It's as if he was just curious, or wanted to meet his neighbors. Living in a comfy tank with regular food isn't enough for an animal that smart. He needs more. In his case, I think some puzzle toys would be nice. He should also have things he can play with endlessly, like how young kids can make up all kinds of stories from a cardboard box. Bendy sticks, maybe. Straws - octopuses can squirt water, so I think he'd have a lot of fun learning to use straws to blast holes in the sand. Stuff that can change shape or color like he can." Kisame had planned none of this. He was daydreaming out loud. Shit, a smart octopus would love straws or funnels. If they made their own civilization, would they adapt that design into an underwater gun?

"Same goes for other animals. Every animal in the history of the world was meant to spend their life finding ways to deal with unexpected events. How would a school of reef fish navigate balloons? Would sea urchins like to sit in toy trucks? Sharks might like something to attack instead of swimming around in circles all day just because they have to or else they'll die." Kisame looked down at Samehada. "Same, if you can, try to get opinions from the other sharks when you're with them. What do they want? I need suggestions to work with here." Samehada nodded.

"Holy crap," the man exclaimed. He winced and glanced towards the young children, who were so absorbed in Nagato's description of the dogs that they were deaf to the world. "Sorry. That sounds awesome."

The young woman was busy consulting her phone. "I can spare 50 dollars this month."

"I think I have a broken toy truck in my closet. One of its wheels fell off. I was gonna get around to throwing it away eventually," the man remembered.

"We'll be here for several hours," Kisame said. "Do you know where the aquarium is?"

"It's that way, right?"

One of the other table people cleared his throat and stepped forward with information about the aquarium, who was in charge, where they should drop off or send donations. The kid grinned up at Kisame. Kisame was surprised by a punch in the arm on his other side. He looked and found Tammy silently cheering. "I had no idea what it would look like either," she whispered.

Samehada licked her hand, making her giggle. She went some distance away and sat down with him in the sculpted bed of grass that lined the parking lot. Kisame just heard her say, "So you're the mysterious Samehada he cares about so much." Kisame turned away before she could catch him blushing.

I can do this. I can totally fucking do this.

Kakuzu

Kakuzu had made no plans, and he announced nothing. He simply drove in, parked, and milled around with the other visitors. He wore his scarf.

The parking lot was mainly populated by families. Kids wanted to hear all about the doggies. Kakuzu stood at the edge and watched. They look so damn cheerful.

Distantly, he heard music. He turned away and crossed the fronts of several buildings. There he found Itachi, playing for one or two people who had also heard the music. They clapped as he finished and headed back towards the shelter.

Itachi looked up. "What are you doing here?" he asked. "Did Kisame ask you to come?"

"No. I didn't know I was going to come here until I got bored." Kakuzu sat down: another thing he hadn't known he was going to do. Deidara was right. I am impulsive.

"...Do you want me to play something else?"

"Sure."

Itachi played something else. The notes sounded sad but determined. Kakuzu got up as soon as it was over and went back to the shelter. He didn't know what he would do there, which made it all the more fun.

He surprised Kisame. The shark man noticed him midspeech, resulting in an awkward pause. Kisame shot him a glare before resuming. Kakuzu had fun listening to him. It sounded like Kisame was making up fairy tales: stories of animals visiting their neighbors, developing underwater technology, and playing with toys. It was amusing. Who would have pegged Kisame as an idealist?

"Nice speech," Kakuzu snarked after Kisame's part was over.

"Hey." That was all Kisame could get out before he saw someone nearby and waved them over.

Kakuzu heard happy sounds and looked down to find Samehada nuzzling his leg. He petted the shark and took him over to the dog shelter's table to hear what Nagato was saying. "Lilac and Kidneybean should be adopted together," Nagato told a potential adoptee. "They are two small, high energy dogs who get along famously and keep each other occupied. I can't know for sure what would happen if you separated them, but I predict scratching."

Samehada made questioning noises. "No, you can't visit the dogs," Kakuzu told him. "These are animals that have been abandoned, mistreated or taught bad manners. Being surprised by someone they've never met before would make them act out or scare them. You might be able to meet them eventually, but it would involve a long period of introduction."

Right after he said that, a nearby person asked, "Do you have any dogs that are good with strangers? I take a lot of house guests."

"Uh…" Nagato blinked. "We have one dog who is not scared of strangers. He's overenthusiastic, likely to go right up to and slobber on people, run into them, stuff like that. He's a fairly large breed, a Golden Retriever."

The person made a face. "No, I meant like a calm dog."

"Mosey is the calmest you can find, but all that means is that he will anxiously whine instead of barking or acting out. He is not comfortable with a stream of strangers."

"Fine. If all the mutts here are broken, I'll look elsewhere." The person turned around and left.

"Wait here," Kakuzu told Samehada. He waited until the person made it to their car. Then, with the speed of a ninja, he materialized leaning against their car door. "Just what the hell did you promise to do?"

"Who the fuck are you?"

"Someone who gets personally offended by the kind of hypocrite who would go to an event promoting animal welfare and blatantly brag about their plans to buy some animal to be their trophy." Kakuzu's hands tightened on his arms. "No animal is broken. If you're using that word seriously, you shouldn't keep one."

"All I need is some dog to keep my kid occupied. It's not hypocrisy to want one that's not going to go fucking crazy."

"Don't kids occupy themselves?"

"She has to have something warm or else she screams. I'm tired of having her clinging to my leg."

Kakuzu tried to keep a lid on his rising temper. "Does she want something warm, or her goddamn parent?"

"It ain't your business."

Kakuzu had to begrudgingly admit they were right. He had no justification for meting out vigilante justice. He pushed himself off the car and said, "You disgust me," before walking away.

He sat with Samehada against the wall of the shelter, petting the shark in order to calm down. I hate heartless people like that. Children and animals are not objects. They should only be with people who want them. Samehada pressed his snout into Kakuzu's chest and rumbled. It helped.

Konan

By the time Hidan and Konan made it to the shelter, night had fallen. The streetlights standing directly over the parking lot were the only sources of light. They were almost too good at their jobs; Konan squinted as she approached one. The nighttime illumination in this world is unpleasant. What ever happened to lanterns?

Hidan had his arm linked with hers. He used it to drag her over to the table Nagato was at. "Hey, Moonlight."

Nagato blushed. "Hey. Uh, I'm kind of at work right now?"

"So?" Konan narrowed her eyes at him. After speaking with Kisame that morning, she still felt rather irritated by the separation they maintained between their so-called "work lives" and the rest of their lives. Trust goes both ways.

"So, um…" Nagato stepped away from the table and leaned into the doorway of the shelter. He spoke to someone inside. When he came back, his face was red and his breathing fast. A middle aged, pleasantly rounded woman came out. "Konan's here. You know her. My sister," Nagato told the woman. "And that's Hidan. My...boyfriend."

Only one of the other volunteers looked at him. The woman smiled just as naturally as anyone could and said, "Pleased to meet you! You treat him well, now."

"You betcha," Hidan said, shaking her hand.

"Your business seems to be doing very well," Konan said, indicating the people around them. "Let us see how the aquarium is doing." Hidan waved back at Nagato's boss as they left.

"Super cool lady," he said.

"Yes, she is very kind. She dislikes technology."

"I gotta hang out at this place more often!"

They found the people of the aquarium doing just as well, or better. Kisame had three people listening to him talk about an octopus who liked to escape. "Although straws might be a bad idea," he said. "There's always a chance that he could send a message back to the Octopus Overlords and give them a jump start on developing water-based guns which would help them conquer the ocean. You never know." All of his listeners and a couple people who just happened to be in earshot laughed. Those couple people became new listeners.

"This is weird, but like, good weird," Hidan whispered.

"I agree," Konan whispered back. How can any person change so much and it not be visible to those they live with? But on second thought, she could remember changes she had seen in Kisame recently. His positive reaction to Kakuzu getting a cloak stood out as the most notable. The Kisame she met that first night would have viewed it as betrayal of the highest order and accused her of brainwashing. Perhaps I was not paying as close attention as I should have.

"I'm super proud, even though I didn't do anything here." Hidan cocked his head. "Is it normal to feel proud on behalf of a friend even when you're not responsible at all?"

"I think it is normal for companions to be proud of each other's accomplishments. What the group achieves, we all achieve."

"Huh. I never thought of it like that. Do you think I should give him a hug?"

"Only after this event is over."

Just then, Konan spotted Kakuzu sitting with Samehada. She tugged Hidan in that direction. He grinned. "Heyo!"

Samehada lolled his tongue out and thumped his tail on the ground. "The shark is in Heaven right now," Kakuzu grumbled. "Me, not so much."

"What's wrong?"

"I saw a hypocrite. Someone who wasn't interested in the welfare of animals at all. Such people sicken me."

"Hey, when'd you get all warm and fuzzy?" Hidan teased.

"I have always said that the care of children and animals should only go to the people that want them. Nobody else."

"Aww!"

"Have you noticed Kisame?" Konan asked.

Kakuzu glanced in Kisame's general direction. "I have. He's made a lot of progress."

"I didn't help him at all, but I'm so proud," Hidan said.

Kakuzu raised an eyebrow. "I don't believe that's a truthful claim." He stood up. "Itachi is playing music several stores away, outside the technology store. It's good quality material, and he plays well."

"Ooh, let's go listen," Hidan said while tugging on Konan's arm.

Konan let him lead her away. As they walked, she closed her eyes and prayed to one day have all the information she needed to know what the hell was going on.

Sasori

"The agent is in position," Sasori murmured.

He had ridden his motorcycle to the street the shelter was on, then cut the engine and walked it the rest of the way. He and Laurie now sat behind it, spying on Ruta, who did not know they were there. What they were doing, Sasori could not have said. He was beginning to wonder if he should have made the delivery himself. He clearly couldn't resist being involved, and he could work up passion when he wanted to, right? "He's got the football. I repeat: he has the football."

"What is a football in this context?" Laurie whispered.

"Presidential briefcase containing nuclear codes. Hush; he's getting ready to go in."

They watched Ruta drive a vehicle into the parking lot, past the visitor parking, and (with much waiting for shelter employees to wave people out of the way) right up to the tables. He got out, went around to the passenger side, and brought out a large, neat-looking cardboard box. It was the nicest cardboard box Sasori had been able to locate. Sasori nodded in approval at the careful way Ruta held it.

Two people came over from the aquarium's table. They explained what was going on in loud, clear voices, loud and clear enough that Sasori and Laurie could identify what language was being spoken from their position clear across the road. Then they went to the shelter's table, where Sasori was pretty sure he could see a huge grin on Nagato's face. Ruta presented the box to a portly middle-aged woman. She looked inside and exclaimed in delight. Good. We sunk time into cleaning those. Ruta bowed to her. He and Sasori had not gone over that; it was an impulse on his part. The other people seemed to take it well. Ruta got in the car, drove it out, and the visitors resumed visiting. Sasori could not hear a word any of them were saying, so he concentrated on their patterns of movement. From the way they moved, he judged the delivery to have been successful: he saw motivation, energy and happiness.

"Mission success," he declared.

"I know," Laurie said, grinning. They high-fived each other. So far, the night was very, very good.

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A/N: I had no particular pieces in mind for Itachi to play. But now I find myself suspecting that the piece he played with Kakuzu was a guitar adaptation of Enya's "Long Long Journey." It's a great song about home, and it fits the description given.

And again, I've got nothing. Don't expect to relax next week; the night's not over yet. See you all for A Very Good Night, Part 2!

Yay.