A/N: Woohoo! Another minimal length record! I'm using shorter chapters as an indicator of my increasing writing ability. The shorter a chapter needs to be before I consider it complete, the better.

At this rate, the story is going to have to include a massive tone shift. I might just get my life together before certain planned plot events happen, which means this story would have to change from a character-focused journal to an actual plot-oriented story, at least temporarily. How would I handle that, I wonder?

But that's not for a while yet.

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Sasori

Sasori placed a secret phone call early in the morning. At lunchtime, pizza was delivered to the auto shop. Laurie's jaw dropped when she opened the box and saw the toppings: sausage and mushroom, her favorite. "I'm more of a meatball guy myself," Sasori said behind her. "But seeing as it is Administrative Appreciation Day…"

"What are you talking about? I've never heard of that."

"Because I invented it just now. Now that the fun of being in charge has worn off, and especially after a whole weekend of hiding in my workshop doing my own thing, I can't deny it: I am not meant for administrative anything. This is half gratitude and half bribing you to stick around." Sasori said this in his typical casual style, as if everything he said was just an ordinary boring fact.

Laurie stifled a giggle. "'I'm so grateful, please don't leave me'?"

"I object to that phrasing, but I can't disagree."

"Sasori. I'm not going to leave you."

"Good. I'm doing everything I can to make sure of that."

She put the pizza box down on the front desk and gave him a sad smile. "You're allowed to admit you need people, you know."

Sasori's brow wrinkled. "I thought I just did."

"Then just trust me."

"What's wrong with showing appreciation? Actually, it would be wrong not to."

Laurie shook her head. "You'll get the hang of helping people with no expectation of reward someday." She offered him a slice of what was rightfully her pizza.

"That's your pizza."

"Which means I get to do whatever I want with it, including offer a slice to my friend."

Sasori took the slice. "If you insist."

Laurie giggled. "You are such a big dunderhead. Just to prove a point, I'll offer some to Ruta too."

Sasori watched her go. He chewed his pizza and scratched his head. What point is she trying to make?

Konan

"I have never been as interested in a book as I am in this game," she told Yahiko.

"I know, right?"

"Who is your favorite character?"

"How can I possibly choose?"

Konan smiled. I could say the same. Tomix's quest to atone for his past mistakes, even if it costs him his life, reminds me of myself. But then, I could say the same of Warlic. And Aria's childish innocence and love of animals also reminds me of myself, but in a different way. How could I choose, indeed.

"Your top five, then." She told him her top five favorite characters and explained her reasoning.

He told her his top five in return. Some of the names raised her eyebrows. "I know, he's a villain," Yahiko said. "But that's exactly why I love him. That one scene showed that even the worst villains have a human side. It was so beautiful. I can't wait to find out what happened to her."

"How ironic. I, with my past, am drawn to the heroes in this story. You with yours are drawn to the villains. Is it common for people to be attracted to their opposites?"

"I think so," Yahiko said. "Or at least, people who are open minded and curious are. You can't help but want to know how something so completely different from you can exist. People who aren't open minded are probably afraid of that instead."

Konan's eyes drifted back to the screen. "Is there something else to it?"

"Uh… I don't know. What do you mean?"

Konan whispered, "Do you think that, in another life, that could have been you?"

Yahiko didn't answer. She checked and found him twisting his fingers around each other, his face pale. "I don't… I don't believe that. I can't," he muttered.

"Perhaps different people have different reasons. That is mine. If my attempts to atone for my mistakes were more successful, could I have been considered a hero?" Konan stood up. "Thank you for showing me this game. I have a lot to think about now."

Yahiko

So did he. After Konan left, Yahiko replayed the questline in which the main villain was defeated. Do I think that, in another life, that could have been me? How could she ask that? We couldn't be more different.

But then, he encountered a line of dialogue that made his hair stand on end. Yahiko's eyes widened. He rolled his chair away from the computer. "The evil armor that he wears… It's more like it wears him?" he whispered. And he remembered, in a previous part of the game, that some character had said the villain in question used to be a hero.

No way. That could never be me. I would never let anyone or anything take advantage of me and turn me into a villain. He gulped. Would I?

Kisame

Kisame broadcasted everything Tammy said over the group chat as she said it. Strangely, he got no response. It was so important this morning, and now everybody's got other priorities. Typical. He told Tammy about it. She shrugged and appeared to find no greater meaning in his observation. Wow. What's it like to not over-analyze everything?

He couldn't help glancing at every person he passed as he went about his duties. They were normal people, living normal lives. He had never considered the implications of that before. What was a normal life? What was it like to be a normal person? How did they understand the world? What did life feel like to them? People that he formerly would have regarded as little more than background scenery suddenly popped to life as conscious entities that had whole lives beyond what little he saw. He wondered what those lives were like and tried not to stare.

When he had a spare minute: Itachi, I understand why you are the way you are so much better.

Itachi's reply made him smile. And what way is that?

Hidan

Hidan sat by the lake. He couldn't tell if he wanted to go in or not. He felt all restless inside, the way he usually did when he'd sopped up too much emotion from the rest of the world and had to dispense with it. But some part of him resisted becoming mindless. After a long while, he concluded that he was not going to go into the lake. He had to find another way.

The Hatake camp was strangely empty. Hidan didn't see any wolves playing with their humans or patrolling the grounds. He found a tiger person he didn't know sitting in a secluded spot with a sketchbook. "Hey," he called. "Sorry for interrupting. Where is everyone?"

"I think they all went to hang out with the new pups," the tiger person replied. "Fingers crossed that they all survive. The pups, I mean."

"Fuck. Worst timing ever."

"Do you want to see my drawing?"

"Best timing ever!" Hidan sat right down and looked at the sketchbook. It was mostly drawings of flowers, tree branches, and animals. "Neat!"

"You think so?" The person's face lit up.

Just then, Hidan heard a sound. "Keep going. You're heading places." He investigated the sound, and found a couple of guys starting a frisbee game. They stopped as soon as they saw him and waved him over. He played frisbee with them.

When the game ended, he checked in with himself. "Hey, I feel a lot better!"

"You were feeling bad before?" one of them asked.

"Kinda…fidgety. Like I couldn't get comfortable. After all this exercise, though, I feel great!"

"Glad to help. You're some kind of cat, right?" the other one said.

Hidan went home in high spirits. Vampires and animal people. I'm fucking surrounded by family. How did I ever think I was alone?

General

Nobody called a meeting, but everybody ended up in the sunroom. Once gathered, they fell to talking. It was much more relaxed than the usual group meeting. Pairs and trios formed, with people splitting off as they remembered something they wanted to ask somebody else. It was as if they were just a large gathering of friends.

Sasori stood up. In a loud voice, he announced, "This was nice, but it's weird. I motion that we go back to normal."

Everybody gathered into a circle. "Itachi and I were just talking about when we might get cloaks," Kisame said. Samehada wriggled in anticipation.

"What is your consensus?" Konan asked.

"I will get one tomorrow," Itachi said. Samehada let out a piercing shriek.

"Oh, fuck."

Kakuzu growled. "Same here. I'm glad we didn't issue a formal bet."

Hidan pouted. "We thought Itachi was going to be the last one for sure. I mean, look at him. He's the outsider."

"And now all of you are too," Itachi said. "After the surge of interest in gossip, I feel more bonded to this group than ever. It's time." He placed a hand on Samehada's head.

"I can imagine you in a cloak. You've got the hair for it," Sasori said.

Itachi picked up a lock of his hair and looked at it. "I do indeed."

Deidara pointed an accusing finger at Sasori. "I knew you had a fashion sense, yeah!"

"Only for muted colors," Sasori clarified to the group as a whole. "And texture."

"I like bright colors!" Yahiko exclaimed. Then his face fell. "Oh. Um… Uh… Speaking of… Uh… We should prove it, right?"

"Fuck yes!" Hidan sat upright. "Fashion contest! Anybody who thinks they've got a particular kind of fashion cornered can participate. They go back to their room and put on or transform into something that shows off their abilities. Then they come back here for a round of judging by everyone else. Nobody wins; we're just judging exactly how fabulous you all are."

Sasori sighed. "Alright. I nominate myself in the muted colors category. Meet back here in ten?" Hidan nodded.

"Bright colors," Yahiko said. His face was already bright red, so he was going to have to work overtime to find an outfit that matched.

"Anyone else?" Hidan asked.

The rest of the circle looked around. They shrugged.

"Then I nominate myself, for poses." Hidan checked his phone. "It is 7:02. Judging starts at 7:12." All contestants left the room.

Sasori looked through his wardrobe and selected a red hoodie that matched his hair. He then had to choose pants. That was what he spent most of his time on. "Black or camo… Or maybe something else…"

Hidan tried out all kinds of transformations, finding outfits and hairstyles that worked for every pose he could think of. Cute: his normal hairstyle, plus a hairband, in female form with a soft grey sweater, pink bracelets, and form fitting jeans. Fierce: male form, shirtless, black cuffs around his wrists and black jeans. Silly: male form, a shirt with cartoon cats chasing each other in a peach background, and soft fuzzy light green pajama pants. Alternately, female form with hair done up in pink bows, nondescript pink shirt, grey mittens, and the same pajama pants as the male form. Intellectual: male form, shirtless, glasses, in plain jeans. I look good in everything!

Yahiko spent no time choosing an outfit. He already had the perfect outfit: the one he had worn to talk with Jiraiya, with the sunflower on a bright pink shirt. He had thought up and tried on outfits long before the contest. All he needed to do now was gather his courage. He took deep breaths while staring into the mirror. I am adorable. I am adorable. I am adorable. They'll love me. He repeated the imaginary scenario over and over again, each time imagining Sasori - why is it always Sasori? - reaching out to him with a smile. Ten minutes later, his heart was still racing and his hands still shook. But he felt slightly farther away from the verge of fainting.

Sasori entered the room exactly on time. He'd been waiting outside. He went with the black pants. Kisame and Kakuzu gave him a thumbs-up. Konan nodded approvingly. Itachi said the outfit made his eyes feel rested. Sasori blushed. That was a higher compliment than he'd expected.

Hidan popped into the room next. "I've got five different poses," he announced. He named each one, then performed the transformation at the same time as he made the pose. Nagato loved the cute pose. Kakuzu nodded at the fierce one. Deidara giggled at the male silly pose and said he had an urge to find or buy a cat toy. The female silly pose elicited a different response: he suddenly knew exactly what it would be like to have a little sister. Most of the group agreed. Konan said nothing, but looked like she was thinking of something. The response to the intellectual pose was modest by comparison. Nagato blushed and muttered that he looked good in glasses.

"Hold up," Kisame said. "Same, you cheered at every single one. Including Sasori. Do you have a sense of fashion?"

Samehada shook his head no. He just knew his human friends wanted to make some kind of visual display as a way of bonding and earning praise, so praise was what he would give.

Kisame frowned. "No, no," Hidan said. "As the creator of this contest, cheering for everyone is not only allowed but encouraged. We're all fabulous here. Speaking of which…" He rubbed his hands together and shot looks at every person there. Then, with all the showmanship of a game show host, he swung his arms towards the door. "Yahiko!"

Aaaggghh! Yahiko nearly panicked. He had hid until he saw Sasori and Hidan enter, then listened outside the door. Hidan must have put a lot of effort into his performance, because the only pose Yahiko would have been capable of pulling off was Shy. That was the exact pose he made as he stood outside. His legs trembled so badly that his fight or flight reflexes activated. He fled from the horrible feeling of anticipation by throwing open the door and darting inside. As soon as he began to move, he was free. For the second that it took to do this, he was in free fall. There was no pain, no fear and no doubt. It was a taste of heaven.

Everybody looked at him. A second or two passed. Then Sasori smiled. He held out a hand and waved Yahiko in. "Nice."

Why is it always him? Yahiko couldn't stop a great big grin from spreading over his face.

Hidan melted. "A ray of sunshine…"

Indeed, it was true. As Yahiko looked around and saw only acceptance, his aura of joy doubled and tripled in strength. This aura, combined with his unintentional imitation of Hidan's cute pose and his outfit and his face and hairstyle, would have knocked everyone else back if they hadn't already been sitting. Even Samehada made a sound of awe. Yahiko sat down amid a sea of hanging jaws. Even Konan's mouth was open.

She quickly closed it. "Have you been practicing your aura?" she asked.

Yahiko blinked. "No?"

Hidan lay on his side on the ground. His eyes rolled. "You look like an angel…"

Nagato didn't look much better, but he was more coherent. "If you could combine that aura with a transformation…"

"Angel Jutsu," Hidan whispered. Nagato nodded.

"Also assuming you could learn to control your aura," Konan added. "Were you even aware of infusing your chakra with joy just now?"

Yahiko looked down at himself. "No. I just did it." Wait a sec. I can't control my feelings. But if something else controlled them for me, like there was a situation that demanded I be my best self, or I just happened to be feeling good already… Could I beam on command? I think I can turn on the charm if I really need to. I think I've done it before. "But I can practice."

"Do so," Konan told him.

"Can I pat you on the head?" Deidara asked. Yahiko nodded. He did so.

"I might not be the guy to ask about bright colors," Sasori said, "but you look right." He said this in his usual calm way, as if he was just stating a fact.

Why is it always him?

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A/N: "There was no pain, no fear no doubt, in Heaven." This is a quote from the Buffy the Vampire Slayer episode "Once More With Feeling."

Angel Jutsu is not a new invention of mine. A year ago or maybe more, I read a self-insert fic (Dreaming of Sunshine) that inspired me to think of my own self-insert scenario. I'm never going to write it as its own story, but parts of it may find their way here. In that scenario, my character specializes in chakra control. He makes claws, wings and a tail out of it, propells it from hands and feet in order to fly, uses chakra strings for just about anything they'd be handy for, uses jutsus without making hand signs, invents chakra netting, has a powerful aura (because I never learned to hide my feelings), and masters the use of said aura. Angel Jutsu was invented in that scenario, a long time ago. Anything in this story that involves finely controlling chakra without using hand signs can safely be assumed to derive from that.

Yay pretty outfits! I hope I did a good job with the descriptions! See ya next week!