A/N: I had more than half the chapter written before Saturday! Alright! Going well so far! I also have two days off this week, instead of the usual one, which gives me seven entire more hours. I didn't realize before last week how much time my job is taking out of my life. Having two days instead of one will be super helpful.

Also, I figured out why there are so many anxious crying breakdowns in this story. They're not breakdowns; they're meltdowns. I always thought I did not have meltdowns because I always heard them described as tantrum-like in appearance and as being caused by sensory overwhelm, often while out in crowded public places. Mine are just crying episodes and they're only triggered by emotions, not by sensory input, and they only happen at home or in home-like environments where I feel safe. I always thought it was normal to experience peaks of intense emotion, curl up in a ball and freak out for a while, then be completely normal or slightly euphoric afterward. It never occurred to me that there could be a name for it. Well, now I can relate to other people better when they talk about meltdowns.

Yeah yeah yeah

.

General

After work, Kisame drove himself, Samehada and Solis to the park, where he used the leash for its intended purpose. Before letting Solis loose, he told him, "You can use wind and water magic and levitate things, but no other magic, okay? The plants here are, um, friends of a friend. They're kind, from what I've heard. Be kind to them back." Solis did not respond, but the first thing he did when set loose was run up to a bush and try to shake hands with it.

Kisame reported this when he finally arrived home later than usual. "So, that's my news. Who else has some? That's why we're holding a meeting, right?"

"Yes," Kakuzu confirmed. "I've already gathered daily reports. Deidara's been checking people at his new job for signs of being magical. He saw one person today with a strange tattoo. It looked like a four-pointed trident. Keep an eye out for it. Sasori reported that Ruta told him that the Hatakes are very excited about the battles. We may have a larger party from their side than expected. No telling how many vampires will show. The rooftops are going to be packed, and I've already assigned Itachi to check the crowd every few minutes. If there's trouble, Yahiko or Nagato, and possibly Hidan, is to step in to handle it. During Itachi's battle, Hidan's the lookout and Nagato's on peacekeeper duty."

"I have some questions about that."

"If your questions are variations on 'where is Yahiko and what is he doing,' then so does everyone else," Kakuzu replied. "Out of respect, I delayed answering until you were here. Now that we're all here, let me share my news of the day."

"All here? You mean Yahiko isn't coming?" Nagato had no idea how to feel about that. He had been nervous about meeting Yahiko again, but Kakuzu's announcement wasn't a relief. I'm anxious whether he's here or not. Is that normal?

"That's my news," Kakuzu growled. "No more interruptions until I'm done. As most of you know, I've been preventing the dolls from causing trouble and possibly burning this place down while we sleep by locking them in the basement. That seems to have been a mistake; the two who were locked in have started attacking people, and the two who weren't are calm and well-behaved. Konan requested something to keep her occupied, so I took the troublemakers to her. Then Yahiko thought of a way to cure them and went up to the northern camp to do it. He used those psychic talents he's been practicing with bushes to strengthen his Angel Jutsu and possibly allow it to make a permanent change to their psyches. We don't know if that technique makes them extra teachable in general, so just in case it does, he stayed with them today to keep them apart from Konan. They will both return with Warlic and Manta before the battles tomorrow, during the afternoon. Warlic and Manta will stay with her for the duration of her instability, and she will report on their likelihood of burning down buildings. If they still seem likely to accidentally kill us while we sleep, I'll figure out something to do that isn't locking them in the basement. But I don't expect that to be a problem. Solis and Little One will continue their current arrangements. Yahiko's here to stay after the battles. Any questions?"

Nagato raised a hand. "Yahiko has a brainwashing jutsu? That sounds problematic."

Kakuzu shook his head. "The dolls have weaker minds than people do. That left them vulnerable to Jashinist influence, and also vulnerable to the influence of whatever Yahiko channels. Organic living beings are more stubborn and set in their alignments; even a strengthened form of Angel Jutsu would only be as powerful as a very good advertising campaign, and those aren't outlawed."

"Not outlawed, but they should be tightly regulated," Itachi said. "The power to influence minds is too important to use lightly."

"We don't need to worry about that from Yahiko. And if anyone else learns his technique and uses it for ill intentions, I'm sure we can find teachers willing to re-educate them." Everyone else leaned away a little when he said that. Hidan smirked.

Deidara raised a hand. "I'll chip in some money to pay for more leashes, yeah. That seems like a good idea." Samehada nodded and lolled his tongue out. "Speaking of which -"

"Solis is leashed to the leg of my bed and has Little One to keep him company. I gave Little One a bunch of shirts to play with," Kisame explained.

"He seems to prefer smaller objects that he can hold in one hand," Itachi said.

"They can levitate things, so I figured it'd be fine."

"Hopefully it is…"

Deidara grimaced. "I just hope we don't get a repeat of the Solis incident, hm."

"What incident is that?"

"Well, we still have a bunch of nonliving plushies around, right?"

Oh, fuck. Kisame bared his teeth. "They're just going to have to learn that dolls that aren't alive exist. Not everything's a potential playmate. And Solis didn't seem to have a problem with that one when he stayed in our room last night. Though now that we're keeping him around, I probably should move it to the spare rooms."

"They said they gave the first three a tour right after enchanting them, right?" Hidan said. "The plushies would have seen all the nonliving ones in people's rooms. But the only one that any of them got attached to was the one that Yahiko used to play a game. Warlic had fun knocking Solis down; that's why he got attached. As long as we don't move the other dolls around and make them seem alive, we should be good."

"Excellent," Kakuzu said. "Now, onto non-plushie-related business. Is everyone who's going to be fighting ready?"

Most people nodded. Kisame and Itachi looked unsure. "I'm still getting the hang of controlling them using the rod," Kisame said. "I've only used it to move them around. I haven't made them use magic yet."

Kakuzu narrowed his eyes. "Practice that extensively tomorrow."

"My physical abilities are indeed good," Itachi reported. "But the only jutsus I know how to use are too dangerous or invisible to outside observers. I worry that I will be boring."

"You will not be boring," Kisame groused. "You're going to be fighting Yahiko. The least violent person around. You two are both so afraid of hurting other people that you're going to have to get real creative in order to do anything. Creativity is never boring."

"Well said!" Hidan chirped. "Don't forget the plushies. If you are boring, Warlic'll step up to make it more exciting."

"I would not be surprised if Yahiko is practicing using Angel Jutsu to control them as we speak," Nagato said. "Konan would force him to."

"That fight is unlikely to be a problem," Kakuzu said. "My fight certainly won't be. Would you rather trade places?"

Itachi paled. "No."

"I might have to let her win." Kakuzu wasn't happy about that, but if he had to do it to survive, he would. None of these fights have predictable outcomes. Oh well. If the audience isn't happy, boo hoo.

"Hey, Kisame," Hidan called. "Are you gonna be using Samehada as a sword or not?"

"Hell no. I have my own sword, remember? And I don't want to damage Samehada's capability as his own independent shark in the eyes of everyone watching." Samehada chirred warmly and nuzzled Kisame's knee. Kisame smiled. "Don't worry, buddy. We'll hold your fight soon."

Nagato winced. "Speaking of Sunday, are you sure about me versus Sasori?"

"Sasori, practice extensively with Little One tomorrow," Kakuzu said. "Make sure he knows you're the boss."

"I was actually worried for myself," Nagato said. "I'm not sure how well I can fight a friend. I'm even less sure of how well I can fight a cute little doll. If anyone's in danger of being boring, it's me."

Kakuzu chuckled in a way that sent shivers up spines. "Battle isn't all about brute force. Sasori, you might want to chat with Itachi. Everyone here has free rein to use as much mind-fuckery as possible."

Nagato whimpered. "Oh God." With my mind in the state it's in? I'm doomed.

"Huh," Kisame said, eyeing Hidan. Hidan frowned.

"Hmm," Itachi said, his eyes wandering up to the ceiling. "I'm sure Konan understands that, but it can't hurt to make she knows that the rest of us agree."

Kakuzu pulled out his phone to do just that. While he typed, Sasori smirked. "Don't worry, I'll hold back."

"Sundays are supposed to be days of rest!" Nagato complained.

"Can I bring popcorn?" Deidara asked. "I did think to request this weekend off from work, yeah."

"Popcorn is an excellent idea," Kakuzu said. "I wonder if we could get away with charging for it."

Nagato raised a hand. "Everyone who says 'hell no,' with me!" Every single member of the group aside from Kakuzu raised their hand or tail.

"Fine. I messaged her and Yahiko. They know the plans. Who's paying for the popcorn?"

.

Kisame opened his door and froze. "Little One. Put. That. Down." The plushies, as usual, did not respond to his verbal command. Samehada climbed down from his back and nuzzled Little One's head. The plushie turned around, letting the enormous sword fall to the ground with a harsh clatter. The shirts were scattered all over the bed. Solis sat on the bed, attempting to wear one. Kisame shook his head. "Shoulda listened to Itachi."

Konan

The next day was game day. Konan wondered if having been awake since 2 in the morning would affect her performance. Nah.

"He said he was expecting us back in the afternoon," Yahiko said. He stood on the opposite side of Warlic and Manta, who were busy trying to fix their broken skateboard. The part between the two pairs of wheels had finally cracked open.

"It can't hurt to check in with everyone first," Konan replied.

"The sun just touched the ground though."

"And I've been awake for five hours already. I am bored of playing with plushies. Let's go."

Yahiko knelt down. "Guys, it's time to go. I'm sorry. The board can't be repaired. Maybe we can get you another one and enchant it to be super durable. Right now, we need to go home." He managed to pick up Warlic and Manta, but they each insisted on holding a chunk of board with wheels attached. They spun the wheels with their hands as Yahiko and Konan walked into the forest.

Out of consideration for him, Konan slowed her pace. Or at least, she tried to. She kept forgetting Yahiko existed. That was his fault because he kept getting behind her. How was she supposed to remember him if she couldn't see him? Konan gave up. Let him fall behind. It's only the consequence of his own actions. Yahiko said nothing and kept up as best he could.

They arrived in the backyard just in time for Kisame to walk out with a rod in hand and two plushies behind him. Konan made eye contact with him. Kisame turned and ran. She only realized afterwards that she had a broad grin on her face. She knelt down in front of Solis and Little One. "How are you? Have you missed your friends?" Yahiko placed Warlic and Manta right next to her. Solis raised his arms. Warlic dropped the skateboard piece and raised his arms as well. Solis gave him a hug. Manta held out his skateboard chunk and spun a wheel. Little One came over and spun a wheel too, but then backed off, upset by the broken edges.

"Are we really going to separate them again?" Konan asked. "They were only just reunited." Anger surged through her blood. How dare he! First locking them in the basement, then separating them? Kakuzu has been abusing these innocent creatures! He must not be allowed to have control over them.

Unfortunately, Kakuzu was exactly the person Kisame brought to the backyard. Konan looked up at him. Kakuzu froze like a deer in headlights. Konan rose to her feet and stalked toward him. "You have taken advantage of my indisposition to mistreat the adorable little creatures that I created. That I desired. That I have sat with and played with as if they were children." Kakuzu's back hit the wall. He hardened the skin all over his body. She placed a clawed hand on his chest. I will not be deterred. "There will be consequences."

"Yes, there will be. Definitely will be," Yahiko said cautiously. "They can come after the weekend's over, after we're done dealing with the vampires for a while. Remember, you want to ally with the vampires. Soye's your new message buddy. They've been talking with Kakuzu lately, and probably like him, so attacking him now would anger them. Wait just a little while. Let's, um, get a replacement skateboard for Warlic. And enchant it to be super durable. So he and Solis and everyone can play with it together and be happy."

Konan looked over at Warlic. He was trying to ride his single chunk of skateboard, but it kept falling over and spilling him on the grass. "Yes, of course." She pinned Kakuzu to the wall with another piercing look. "Tell me where we can get wheeled boards."

"I will look it up on my phone, which I'm doing right now," Kisame said. "Opening Google. Typing in 'where to buy skateboards.' Uh… Okay, I have an address. Deidara's available. Let me just -" He held the phone up to his ear. "Hey, sorry to wake you up, but Konan's here. She's terrifying. She wants to go somewhere. Get out here, I'll give you the address, Kakuzu's already here. In the backyard, I mean. ASAP."

Konan finally removed her claws from Kakuzu's heart area. She stood out in the sunlight and waited. Deidara appeared very quickly. He hadn't even tied up his ponytail. He tried not to look at Konan. "Address?"

Kisame handed over his phone. "Do you know what road that is? It's the one that runs past…"

"Yeah, I know it. I know where this place is. C'mon Kakuzu, let's go, yeah."

Kakuzu still had his iron skin on, but that wasn't why he looked gray. "Fuck my life," he whispered as he took his seat on Clay's back behind Deidara and in front of Konan. Konan held onto him reluctantly. How are his crimes my fault?

The ride was…tense. They were all quite happy to leap off of Clay's back and enter the toy store. Konan knocked on all of the boards and selected one that was the most likely to make a pleasing sound when crashed. Deidara paid for it and told Kakuzu he didn't need to be paid back since he was earning his own money now, which Kakuzu was grateful for. Then they got back onto Clay and flew to the library. Only as they entered the building did Konan realize it would have been smart to bring Yahiko. He was the only one who had ever talked to the ghostly books. She stopped at the front desk and told a librarian, "I have a request to make of the ghostly books in your reference room. I am unsure if I can communicate with them by myself. I've heard you or one of your colleagues can communicate with them. Would I be able to request your services?"

The librarian she was talking to waved at one of his colleagues. She came over. He explained the situation. She agreed to help. Konan nodded gratefully.

Deidara and Kakuzu were busy looking around. They were not very familiar with this place. They both raised their eyebrows when they saw the reference room. "Holy shit," Deidara exclaimed, then cringed. "Sorry."

The lady librarian stood next to the bookshelf and placed a hand on it to stabilize it. "What is your request?"

Konan held out a hand. Deidara gave her the skateboard. "This skateboard needs to be made practically impervious to damage. It will be crashed, thrown through the air, and caught in magical blasts. It needs to survive all of that."

The librarian frowned. "That would take an incredible amount of power. Are you sure?"

Konan was fighting back the urge to manifest paper wings. Electricity crackled beneath her skin. "Yes."

The librarian whispered to the books, closed her eyes and listened. Then she selected one. "It will take some time to prepare the spell. Once it's done, the board will be preserved in its exact current state. That means you cannot paint it, attach any additions to it, give it fashionable scuffing, or fix any preexisting wheel problems. What you have now is what you will always have."

"Hmm." Kakuzu gently took the board from Konan and examined its wheels. He gave each one a flick to set it rolling. With the librarian's permission, he even stood on it one-footed and rolled himself along for a few feet. "It seems good."

They had to wait an unbearable length of time for the book to prepare the spell, whatever that meant. Konan distracted herself with her phone. Phones were excellent devices for containing seething rage. How goes everything? she asked Hidan, then switched to her phone's app store to look up games. None of them looked as satisfying as ripping her claws through living flesh.

Kisame's learning fast, Hidan replied. Warlic hasn't attacked him even a little. Little One's busy smoothing out the broken edges on those board pieces.

Konan twitched all over like she had been electrocuted. Everyone looked at her. "Little One enjoys modifying objects," she explained. "If there is any roughness or unevenness to this board and he cannot fix it, that will upset him horribly."

"Understood, yeah!" Deidara leaped to his feet and ran out. Konan texted Hidan, Thank you for reminding me of Little one. Deodara will fetch ihm now. She ran a finger along the edge of the board and did not find any great problems. Little One probably would accept it.

The librarian said that the spell was ready at about the same time as Deidara returned. Little One was still working on his broken piece. He looked up, saw the full-sized board, and carefully handed his piece to Kakuzu. He stood on the board, tilted his little head this way and that, then hopped off. He flipped the board over and checked the wheels. He used a bit of magic to remove…something…from them. He ran his little plushy hands all around the edge of the board. He balanced it on his head. Then he placed it back down on the floor and raised his arms. Perfection!

Konan edged around it very carefully. "I can serve as the power source." The librarian held the book out to her, already opened. Konan, knelt down, gripped it with one hand on the spine and held it out the same way Yahiko had. Immediately her chakra surged out of her. She could feel the flow increasing, flowing faster and faster, yet remaining smooth and uninterrupted. Ah, so that is why the spell needed to be prepared: to have everything set up so it could all unlock in perfect sequence, no interruptions or obstacles. Glowing golden light streamed out of the book and settled on the skateboard, coating it with magic. Some of the light sunk in as well; the board would never rot. When both inside and outside were fully coated, the light moved around, locking into a more rigid formation. Finally, as the spell was released, it disappeared. The skateboard looked just like it had before.

Little One jumped up and down in a bouncy, happy-looking way. Does he know what I just did? He took his broken piece back from Kakuzu and sat on the board to finish smoothing it.

Konan handed the book back to the librarian, who returned it to the shelf. "Do you feel alright?" the librarian asked.

Konan stood up. Deidara stood next to her in case she needed support. She did not. But she did feel very strange. "I feel the same looseness inside," she reported. "But there is nothing to lose control over. I should be well-behaved for some time."

Kakuzu uttered a strangled curse. The librarian checked her face for paleness and her eyes for lack of focus, then pronounced her fit to leave. "May I ask you something?"

"Yes," Konan replied.

"That little one… Is he also a spell product?"

"Yes. Several days ago, a friend of mine who has become good friends with these books checked out one of them. He brought it to our home to enchant three dolls. Little One was one of those three. The following day, he brought a fourth doll here to enchant it the same way. A smiling, optimistic man with orange hair?"

"Oh, him!" The librarian smiled. "He's very talented. Few would even try to strike up a conversation. Almost nobody would succeed."

"Where do you come from?"

"I was born in Cincinnati. I met a psychic when I was eleven who awakened my power. My parents thought I'd been taken in by hippy New Age froofery. They never believed in me, but even so, I knew I had to pursue my destiny. So I moved. A sense of rightness led me here. This is where I will live out my life." She smiled, but shyly, as if not expecting to be believed.

"I wonder what a sense of rightness feels like," Konan muttered. "You are very fortunate. Thank you." Kakuzu picked up the skateboard with Little One still on it. They all said their thanks, to the librarian and to the shelf of ghostly books, then left.

"Cincinnati is a city in the so-called 'real' world that this one we live in is based off of," Kakuzu said in the parking lot. "She's an NPC."

"But a more complex one, yeah." Deidara frowned. "She's more realistic than the ones we met before. More capable of interaction, less glitchy, yeah. Like they're evolving."

"Congratulations, you just horrified me," Kakuzu growled. "Now I'm actually happy to think about how I willingly participated in the ruination of my own plan."

"What do you mean?"

"I wanted the vampires to see her at her worst. I shouldn't have let her serve as the power source."

"Do not worry," Konan told him. "I will nap until the late afternoon. I am sure I will not be boring."

Itachi

Itachi and Yahiko sat on the back porch together, ready to give Kisame a break from training with the plushies if he needed it. So far, he didn't. Samehada sat next to them, lolling his - or was it her? - tongue out. Itachi was unsure. I have decided. Thoughts alone do have relevance, after all. I shall think of Samehada as they until I know for sure.

"Yahiko, Konan is not here," he whispered. "Let us do something she would not approve of."

"What?"

"Collaborate on our battle."

Yahiko grinned. "This is the kind of conspiracy I like! Are you in, Same?" The shark nodded. "Great! Okay, so… Konan realized I might be able to use Angel Jutsu to control the plushies. Or if I can't spare the chakra, the psychic thing alone might suffice. But I've never done that in a complicated situation before, and I know I'm not that good at focusing, especially not when I'm being watched and judged. I won't be able to do it."

"Establish direct physical contact with the plushie," Itachi advised. "Picking one up may make it easier for you to send a mental message, even if your thoughts are somewhat scattered."

"If the worst comes to worst, I could just throw them at you. They'd probably love that."

"Remember that each of them has a unique personality. Use that to your advantage." Like how I am planning to use Little One as a sleeper agent. Kisame's story was very interesting; why would Little One be more interested in a sword than in clothing when both are equally too large for him? What do his interests have in common? I see two major groupings: shiny objects and ones that have rough edges initially but can be made even. Once Little One is brought back, I will take him into the woods and test ways of making him interested in things that were previously not interesting. But I must do this without Yahiko knowing.

"...Okay." Yahiko looked like he, too, was silently brainstorming. They smiled at each other.

Samehada chirped for attention. The shark mimed looking this way and that, twisting their head suddenly like a cartoon dog looking for a squirrel. "Distraction," Itachi translated. "You use some degree of psychic power. I spot opportunities. Our battle will be a constant fight to distract each other. I would have to use genjutsu, but the illusions it creates are not visible to an audience. How can I fight you in a way that entertains anyone?"

"Hey, can't help but notice you're having an important conversation here," the demon boy said, hanging upside down off the wall above their heads. "May I volunteer my services?"

"To make my illusions visible to an audience? I would be very grateful."

"I'm gonna wanna look at them. It's nothing to include everyone else, too." The boy disappeared. He sounded genuine, but Itachi suspected he had another motive. Resolving my fear would make me less inhibited and more willing to do interesting things. I see. In this desire to provide entertainment, he and I are entirely on the same side.

"That resolves the entirety of my problem," Itachi said with a smile. "What about you?"

"I'm just not much of a fighter. I don't think anything can resolve that. But if I can use the plushies, and they are fighters, then that compensates for it. Bringing them to life was a great idea!" Yahiko grinned.

"Kisame was right. It was a risky gamble. You are very fortunate that the plushies help to resolve other concerns of ours instead of adding to them or, worse, undoing our efforts to fix them."

"Well, it worked, didn't it?"

"Yes, it did."

.

A/N: Itachi's decision that thoughts alone have relevance is a reference to chapter 27, For Rusty. Wow, my writing was vague and unfocused back then.

And yes, it is very lucky that my new obsession with Dragonfable is helping me to write my ongoing stories instead of just making another pile of story ideas to get around to eventually or, worse, interfering with the production of new chapters. Very lucky. It actually does interfere a little, but little enough for me to get past it. *whew*

Rar.