A/N: Content Warning: the title of this chapter is no exaggeration. There's some potentially disturbing stuff ahead, at least if you've got a strong imagination, which anyone who's read this far probably does. There's some gore: described as existing, few details given. Plenty of blood: described as existing, no details given. There is also vomit: not explicitly named, barely alluded to, only description given is color. (I'm very squeamish around it myself.)
Aside from that, expect more of what you got last chapter. Weapons, mind screwing, happy vampires. All that sort of stuff.
Rar.
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Kisame
Kisame awoke the following morning in dread. Am I going to enjoy battle? Or am I going to end up like everyone else did yesterday? Samehada was still asleep, his tail curled tightly around Solis, who watched Kisame in perfect contentment. Kisame waved to the doll and crept out of his room to check on Itachi.
He met Yahiko, who was doing the same thing. "Hey Kisame," Yahiko greeted. He was doing a good job of covering up his wounds well enough to function without going overboard and turning into a Pollyanna. "I was just going to ask Itachi to give Little One back. I missed his company last night."
"You think Itachi has him?"
"Yeah."
Kisame stiffened. "Oh shit," he whispered.
"Kisame?"
"I don't actually remember if Little One followed me home last night. I was too blitzed from the battles to look for him. Fuck."
They knocked on Itachi's door. Itachi answered with a neutral "Hello." He did not have Little One with him. Kisame cursed, explained what he had just realized, and went outside to look for the doll.
He found Little One examining the withered plants. After verifying that Little One was not on the move, Kisame looked around. He saw little neat piles of pebbles. "Hey," he said. "It's time to get back, kid."
Little One jumped and ran up to him. Kisame took a step in the direction of the base. Little One took two steps. Hehe, cute. Little One followed closely at his heels all the way back home, a perfectly obedient little doll. I like this one.
Yahiko genuinely smiled when he saw Little One. "You're home!" he cried, embracing his doll. Little One hugged him back. Kisame allowed himself to go all gooey and mushy for a moment.
Nagato was also there. He smiled. "Looks like Little One could have a future as a therapy doll," he remarked to Kisame.
"Yeah, he's cute." Kisame sighed. "Are you worried about your fight today?"
"Hell yes. I am terrified. Isn't Sasori terrifying? He was instructed to mess with my mind. He's an engineer. Following instructions is his thing. I have no doubt he will dismantle me without the slightest twinge of guilt."
"He's your friend. There's a limit to how far he'd go," Yahiko said.
"The limit is clearly set far enough out that it won't matter," Nagato replied.
"He's got a shit ton of ammunition at his disposal, too." Kisame told Nagato about the piles of pebbles. "I can imagine Warlic or Solis turning those rocks into a magical machine gun. He can mess with your mind as much as Itachi or worse, and he's a lot more physically dangerous. Be careful."
"Even if it hurts to attack a friend, it might hurt worse not to," Yahiko said. "I mean the same kind of hurt, too. If you attack him and he gets injured, you'll feel guilty. But if you don't, you'll feel even more guilty when he presses all your guilt buttons."
Nagato sighed. "I have to fight for my sanity. Great."
"It wasn't… As bad as it could have been…" Yahiko muttered.
"Do either of you have tips about Hidan?" Kisame asked, hoping to draw their attention to happier topics.
"Good luck concentrating enough to command even one plushie," Yahiko muttered. "I wasn't able to do it at all. Everything moved too quickly."
"Well, that was using a completely different kind of ability," Nagato said. "Channeling chakra into a rod is sure to feel more natural than focusing your feelings. And that's not true, Yahiko. You got mad when Itachi used his illusions on you, so the plushies got angry too and tried to attack him."
"They did? Oh. I didn't notice."
"I'll be lucky to get a hand free when I'm busy swordfighting," Kisame said. "Speaking of which, I really need to practice with that thing. I've been focusing on controlling the plushies too much. I need to get a feel for my own damn weapon. See you guys later?"
Nagato gulped. "Yeah. Later."
Kakuzu
Kakuzu, in between healings, found time to keep up with events. He nodded in approval at Kisame's sword training. Nagato confessed his fears, which led Kakuzu to visit Sasori. He knocked on the door to Sasori's room. "Come in," Sasori called. He found the engineer on his laptop, searching for who knew what.
"Don't you have preparations to make?"
"What preparations can I make that aren't going to be wrecked by the realities of battle?" Sasori replied.
"Good point." Kakuzu closed the door behind him and leaned against a wall. "Do you have any plans?"
"The pebbles will allow me to use my strings for things other than puppetry," Sasori told him. "With something attached to them, I could guide it through the air and, say, wrap the string around his leg."
"Are chakra strings substantial enough to do that?"
"If I use a lot of chakra, yes."
"Clever. But he doesn't need to have all body parts free to use his abilities. His Push jutsu doesn't use handsigns."
"My string idea doesn't qualify as an attack; just a sneaky trick. I'm planning to use mindscrews as my main attacks, supplemented by sneaky tricks using my strings and the plushies."
Kakuzu laughed. "There's a reason I like you." He stood up. "Little One was accidentally left outside overnight. There are piles of pebbles on the lawns now, all of them in sheltered locations. I recommend doing at least a little scouting; you can't be sure that Hidan and Kisame are going to scatter them." Sasori thanked him for this advice. Kakuzu left the room. Excitement quickened his footsteps. He'd saved the person he most wanted to talk to for last. What new and strange thing has Hidan thought of for his battle? Because I'm sure he has come up with something.
"You wanna know my plans, right?" Hidan said, bouncing on his bed. He smirked. "I may or may not have any."
Kakuzu smirked back. He sat on the bed beside Hidan. "If you hypothetically had some plans, what would they hypothetically be?"
"Wellll…hypothetically speaking…" Hidan leaned in and whispered, "I'll do a little bit of weapons fighting. Maybe more than a little. It is my main thing, and Kisame's the only one I can do that with. But I'm going to deliberately give him an opening to use the plushies because I want to see what the fuck he's going to do with them. And since Transformation Jutsu worked so well the last time, I'm gonna whip out some of that. The vampires like creativity, right?"
"What will you use transformations for?"
Hidan grinned. "Mind screws with the plushies, I'm thinkin'. I also know how to make clones, remember?"
Kakuzu chuckled. "You and Sasori are both devious masterminds. Today's fights are going to be interesting."
"Oh, shit yeah."
Konan, who required more intensive healing and thus could not gather information herself, agreed. While Yahiko took a breather, she favored Kakuzu with a smile. "You are a capable deputy. I will withhold my wrath."
Kakuzu stiffened.
Her smile faded. "I have not forgotten what you did to Warlic."
"...Just save it until after the battles."
"I intend to."
Kakuzu no longer looked forward to the battles. As noon approached, he wondered what manner of doom was nearly upon him.
General
Nagato donated some chakra to Yahiko. Nobody questioned this decision. After yesterday, who could guess what would happen?
The plushies seemed to have less energy than usual. Samehada was able to keep them all occupied; they climbed on the shark, sat on him, and simply leaned against his side. Little One joined the activities for once, to Solis' delight. Solis held his hand as Samehada embraced both of them. They both sat there in perfect contentment, little plushy arms resting on his tail, looking just like they might have if they sat in a movie theater. Kisame dared to hope for a smidgen less chaos.
When the time came to go out, Yahiko gathered them all up in his arms while Konan carried the skateboard outside. After five steps, he put them all down and exclaimed that four was too many. He carried Warlic and Manta. Solis and Little One followed on their own. The plushies were deposited on the ground near the earthen spike along with their skateboard. Warlic immediately created a forcefield.
Soye arrived as soon as the sun was hidden, as before. More vampires were with her. There was a high chance of fights breaking out over viewing positions, if Sakumo's group was as large as before. Unfortunately, it was larger. An enormous quantity of half wolves, some half tigers, and a bunch of lizard people came to watch the battles. Aside from Sakumo and Ruta, none of them had come to watch yesterday's battles. There was some snarling between them and the vampires as they all realized how little space there was. Kakuzu cursed under his breath and hoped he wasn't going to have to delay the battles another day. Almost immediately, the demon boy offered to create midair platforms. An unplanned battle was averted. Jiraiya arrived after this, with just as much flair as before. All their other friends were nowhere to be seen; it was just him and Shikaku.
"Why the hell did you come back?" Kisame asked Shikaku.
"As much of a bother as it was to see all that blood, yesterday was...interesting," Shikaku admitted. "Keeping track of the action was more mental exercise than I've gotten in a long time."
Hidan laughed. "You'll have a lot of fun today, then!" He laughed again, more evilly.
The demon boy echoed his evil laugh. "Livestream's all set up. Let's get going!"
"Positions," Kakuzu called. The Akatsuki gathered on the same rooftop as before. Sakumo's group took up all but two of the rooftops that had a decent view. The vampires mostly crowded onto midair platforms, which the demon boy kindly made transparent afterwards. They had bird's-eye views.
As Hidan and Kisame took their positions, the half wolves called out, "Go Kisame!" Any remaining nervousness he felt vanished. They came for me. They're my family, and they came just to watch me. He grinned as he unsheathed his sword. Hidan smiled back, just as happy, as he checked his rope harness and adjusted his grip on the scythe.
The fight began.
"Yahaa!" Hidan threw his scythe. It swung in an arc around Kisame, approaching his back. Kisame swung his sword to intercept. The scythe jinked out of the way, but Kisame had also leapt backward, so it missed him. He dove underneath the rope and came up outside the circle. Hidan pulled his scythe back to him with a grin. He hadn't expected that to work. When its handle was firmly in his hand once more, he charged, using chakra to speed up his run so that it was only a brief moment before he was right on top of Kisame. He dealt Kisame a glancing slice over the ribs.
That was not entirely mercy on his part. Kisame leaped back even before he realized that Hidan was so close. He did not feel the slice. His heart was racing, everything looked sharper, his grip on his sword was more sure. So this was why Hidan was such a daredevil! Adrenaline is a wonder drug! Kisame grinned as he closed the gap between them, slashing the air in one long, horizontal slice.
Hidan leaped back, as expected, which put him on unstable footing relative to Kisame, who was still charging forward. With a twist of his wrist, he sliced his sword back the other way. This time Hidan was the one caught by a glancing blow. Hidan bared his teeth and raised his scythe. Kisame raised his sword. Blades clashed.
It was like a dance. Despite their close quarters and Kisame's weight advantage, or maybe because of it, Hidan did not plant his feet. He kept darting around Kisame, not blocking the sword directly but rather turning it aside. Kisame had practiced wielding his sword in all different ways: over his shoulder, behind his back, while crouching. He was glad for that now. He was also keenly aware of how much chakra he was spending to strengthen his legs so he could keep up. This was not sustainable.
Hidan leaped back and prepared to throw his scythe again. Kisame reached into his pocket and seized the control rod. He commanded Manta to shoot Hidan with lightning. Hidan did have to stay still in order to throw his scythe, so he got shocked. The scythe never left his hand. But the grin never left his face, either.
Come to me! Manta darted forward, running as fast as his little legs could carry him to Kisame's side. Kisame kept his sword in one hand, but didn't expect to use it again. The swordfight portion had ended. Kisame realized he had a broad, sharky grin on his face. He couldn't wait to show off the results of his practice with the plushies!
Hidan roared theatrically. He held his scythe up as a shield. Kisame charged, sword swinging, intending to give Manta an opening as they attacked simultaneously. Instead, Hidan left himself wide open. Kisame's sword slashed directly into Hidan's guts. Kisame's eyes widened as he realized what that meant for Manta, and as the smell of blood filled his nostrils.
He'd never smelled such amounts of blood before.
Hidan's scythe caught Manta and flung him away. Manta hit the earthen spike. His head snapped back. The rest of him soon tumbled after, but that didn't stop the demon from letting out a small scream. Some vampires and most of the Akatsuki glanced at him. The demon boy vibrated with excitement, his whole body visibly twitching every which way.
Meanwhile, Hidan let out another roar and dropped his scythe. He flew through barely completed handsigns and transformed into a tiger. Kisame retained enough sense to hold onto his sword. But the second Hidan's enormous, muscled, wounded body slammed into his, Kisame found himself biting and tearing like an appetite made flesh. He and Hidan grappled, claws and teeth slicing into each other, enormous bodies shoving back and forth and sometimes sideways. Chakra flooded Kisame's throat and mouth muscles. Chakra coated Hidan's claws. They forgot they were human.
At some point, Kisame tumbled sideways. His shoulder hit the ground. He remembered what and who he was. The control rod was on the other side of Hidan, who lunged at him with jaws agape and teeth blazing. Kisame grabbed a kunai from his seal and plunged it into Hidan's throat, rolling to avoid a direct hit. Hidan's weight still crushed the breath from him, but his own throat remained intact. The rod. Must - have it - Kisame reached out and focused his chakra into a single clumsy string. It barely gripped the rod and fell apart as soon as Kisame pulled, but the rod came sailing toward him. He caught it. Everyone, to me!
Manta sat on the ground, barely upright, with Warlic and Solis looking down at him. They didn't move. Only Little One came, using magic to fly to Kisame's aid. Hidan took advantage of his position to grab Kisame with his claws. Fire! Lightning! I don't give a shit, just get him off me! Fire was what he got. Hidan cried out. The smell of burned hair filled the air. Kisame winced as his upper right leg went numb, then slowly developed an ache. He punched Hidan in the side of the jaw. Hidan got to his feet and staggered away, panting in harsh, gurgling gasps.
Bestial instincts awakened in Kisame. They were the kind that didn't care about morality, that thought nothing of social ties and obligations. His whole body quivered with lukewarm anger, which was neither enraged nor cruel, merely a necessary fuel to keep him going. He had to fight to survive. That was all that mattered. He commanded Little One to do anything, as long as it defeated his opponent.
Hidan was shocked. He was nearly blown off his feet. A nearby pile of pebbles was turned into a short-lived machine gun, as predicted. He sustained many wounds, but did not slump to the ground. Kisame shivered and returned to his senses, the horror of what he was doing finally breaking through. Am I trying to kill him? If his opponent hadn't been Hidan, he would have succeeded. Hidan's transformation lapsed. The immortal raised himself up on shaking arms, grinning at Kisame with a crazed respect. Kisame felt ill, but Hidan looked nowhere near ready to give up. I have to keep going! He sent another command to Little One.
Little One used a bit of magic, but it fell apart before it could damage its target. He jumped up and down, flailing his arms wildly. He threw himself to the ground, slamming his plushy fists against the earth, then levitated himself up and ran with his arms over his head. He jumped headfirst into a bush. In other words, he was so done with battle.
Kisame finally realized that no other plushie had obeyed his commands. Oh shit. Mental images flashed before his eyes. Warlic slamming into the spike. Manta and Solis tumbling along the ground. It had been a mistake not to practice with them one final time. Hidan's grin widened. He sat up more confidently. Fuck I'm doomed!
Kisame rolled onto his feet, injured leg notwithstanding, and limped over to his sword. If he was going to be defeated, he was going to be defeated while fighting.
That was exactly what happened. Hidan took a few more forms, even used his Clone Jutsu to make Kisame paranoid as to which Hidan was the one capable of hurting him, but it was just the theatrics of a cat playing with his toy. Everyone knew the inevitable result. Hidan eventually got his scythe up against Kisame's throat when the latter stumbled on his bad leg. The fight was over.
Yahiko moaned in horror as he ran onto the field. Hidan waved him away. "Don't waste your chakra on me. I'm immortal, remember?"
"You're missing half an ear!" Yahiko yelled back. Hidan touched his left ear. Indeed he was. Kisame vaguely remembered something crunching satisfyingly beneath his teeth, and immediately felt sick. Something stopped his stomach from rebellion. It must have been ninja instinct, trained into him as thoroughly as if he'd been born with it. He did not make a very distinctive sound or smell right then, but looked around for the nearest safe location to do so.
Hidan whimpered. "Get - get him out of here." He gagged. Yahiko realized what was going on. Pale as a sheet, he nodded. This time he needed Kakuzu's help to get Kisame off the battlefield. They didn't even try to get him up onto the rooftop, instead leading him behind a building ostensibly to rest. They left him there and went back to the street. Yahiko's hands were shaking too badly to heal anyone.
Three yards and a portion of the street had bloodstains on them. Hidan was actually missing gouges of flesh. Small ones, but still. His cloak was shredded. Kisame's clothes were also shredded and there was a high likelihood that he was still bleeding from places where his own flesh had been torn out. After receiving a couple of back pats from Kakuzu and making sure he wasn't about to faint, Yahiko staggered back to Kisame's side to check. He found Kisame next to a rusty reddish…something. His eyes slipped off of it, rolling up. Don't faint! Yahiko somehow managed not to faint. He stared blank and wide-eyed at Kisame's black clothing, unable to even glance at the nasty-smelling material. He feared there would be recognizable bits in there.
Meanwhile, Hidan noticed his still-bleeding wounds and decided it would be rude to sit in close company with his friends. He went to the earthen spike and sat behind it. The three plushies looked up at him. "Hey, little fuckers," he panted. Solis tilted his head. He walked up to Hidan and almost touched a place where Hidan was missing some mass. Hidan brushed his hand away at the last moment. "No touch. It's a real bad wound." Solis went to Warlic and touched Warlic's neck. Warlic raised his head a little. When Solis took his hand away, Hidan could just see a tear in the fabric where something pointy had forced its way out. "Heh. Shit." Yahiko's gonna kill me for letting one of them get injured. This thought made perfect sense to him at the time. He closed his eyes and leaned back against the rock with a sigh.
Meanwhile, the entire audience was shaken by what they had seen. The Akatsuki were horrified at the amount of injury sustained by their own. Sakumo's group had never, as far as they could recall, witnessed a blood frenzy before. They were horrified by the possibility that they could be capable of such savagery. And the vampires, although experienced with blood-driven animalistic behavior, were nonetheless disturbed by exactly how fierce it had gotten. They could not outfight the creatures the two combatants had turned into. The vampires had gotten comfortable thinking that the only beings which could hurt them physically were other vampires. Confronting their own mortality made them very uncomfortable. Add to that the fact that one of the combatants was immortal and seemingly unstoppable, and most vampires in the audience had their first experience of sheer terror in years. They hated it. Fists clenched and teeth bared all around the battlefield.
Soye landed next to Kakuzu. "You must begin the last battle now."
He took her word for it. "Yahiko, Kisame. The next battle's starting," he called. Hidan can get his own ass off the field. He's immortal anyway. Kakuzu leaped up onto the rooftop and told the rest of the group the same.
"I might as well give up now," a green-faced Nagato said.
"No," Sasori replied. "That wouldn't be entertaining. Go nuts and use all your powers against me. That'll end the battle just as quickly and demonstrate something useful."
The only reason he suggested that was because he knew Nagato wouldn't do it. Everyone else knew this too. Nonetheless, Nagato took a deep breath, tried not to gag, and went down onto the battlefield. Sasori took the yard with the most blood on it as a gesture of charity. He was extremely disturbed by the primal bestial behavior he had just witnessed, so different from his own. But he was very good at not showing it.
The fight began.
Nagato waited for Sasori to make the first move. In the meantime, he tried to calm himself down. He was actually almost right. It would be so easy to lose control of my powers right now. This must be how the plushies felt when they had their tantrums yesterday. I could level this whole street just because I'm upset. Or I could surrender the fight and cry. His eyes burned. But he told me not to.
Sasori laughed. "Thanks for making it easy for me," he called to Hidan as he casually sauntered over to the earthen spike where the plushies were. He picked up Solis and whispered, "Don't go near Nagato. He's going to cry any second." Hidan gave him a thumbs up.
Nagato slapped himself on the cheek. Get it together! Sasori wasn't sure if he should fight at first because there was no way he could match me. Now I'm going to let him walk all over me? What good is all this power if I don't use it? I'm like Yellowstone, right? Then I should be feared. Maybe people can walk all over me, most of the time. They have all my life. But not today! His eyes snapped open. Did Yahiko need people to be especially memorable before he could fall in love with them? Then that was exactly what Nagato would be!
Sasori turned around and froze. But only for a split second. Then he ran, getting as far away from Hidan as he could. He crossed Solis' arms over each other as he did so. Solis immediately created a forcefield.
Yahiko and Kisame staggered out from behind the building. Kisame's face was wiped clean on one of the bandages Konan had supplied Yahiko with. "We didn't miss much," Kisame muttered.
Nagato yelled. He Pushed off the ground, flew through the air, then Pushed again on Sasori from above. The forcefield deflected much of the force, guiding it down into the ground and causing grass and dirt to explode into the air. Sasori wished he had grabbed more plushies as Solis fought to keep the forcefield up. Nagato landed on top of the field. He grabbed a kunai and stabbed it. The forcefield burst. It couldn't deflect such a pointed attack. Sasori leaped away, racing for a pile of stones he had spotted. Not coincidentally, it was right next to the bush Little One had burrowed into.
What can I do? I have access to all five kinds of elemental attacks, but I never learned to use them. Nagato played with his chakra internally, letting it have whatever effects it would. Stalagmites rose out of the ground. That could be useful! He gave that technique more chakra, creating more and bigger stalagmites underneath the bush Sasori was collecting rocks from.
Sasori had put Solis down in order to pick up the stones. Now he was forced to jump away. Solis was forced in the opposite direction. Shit! Little One clung to a stalagmite that rose up through the bush. Sasori attached one stone to each fingertip, let the rest fall from his hands, and grabbed Little One. "Sorry pal, I need you." Little One refused to let go of the stalagmite. With chakra-enhanced strength, Sasori pulled harder than he thought possible. Little One continued to hold onto the broken-off tip of the stalagmite as Sasori raced away.
A strange calmness had settled over Nagato. Perhaps I'm losing my mind. But I would lose more of it if I let him win, right? He used his Push jutsu to shatter all the stalagmites and send them shooting toward Sasori. Little One made a forcefield that deflected just enough of them to keep Sasori safe as he ran.
"Let's make a deal," he panted. "I won't ask you to fight. Just make forcefields for me, okay?" Hopefully Little One could agree to that. If not, he was doomed. What the hell had happened? Had Nagato really snapped? If that was the case, his strategy of using primarily mental attacks would not work. A strange calm settled over Sasori. If his defeat was inevitable, then there was nothing for him to worry about. Nothing he did could change the outcome. So he could do whatever he liked.
Nagato tried to change his chakra to wind chakra next. What can I do? The air stilled. On a whim, he did something else. The still air heated. Haha!
Hidan felt all of this. "I'd better get out of here," he groaned. "See you guys." He crawled past Manta and Warlic, got to his feet and limped away. Manta and Warlic looked at each other. Warlic got on the skateboard.
Sasori came to a stop. He reached one hand out. Strings flew from all five fingers towards Nagato. They were supercharged with wind chakra and branched out as they flew, turning into a giant tangled net of razor wire. Nagato tried to use his Push jutsu to deflect it, but that only worked for a few seconds. He was forced to run. "Catch him!" A little bit of levitation slowed Nagato's run, allowing a string to curl around his leg. Sasori pulled. Nagato landed facedown on the ground. The net settled over him, curling around his arms and shoulders. They sliced right through his clothes. Nagato cried out once before blowing the whole construct to pieces with his Push jutsu, as expected. Sasori raced for another pile of stones. He put Little One down and replaced the five he'd just lost. Solis ran up to him. Sasori picked him up and told Little One, "Take a vacation."
Nagato reached out for some broken chunks of stalagmite. He Pulled them towards himself, stepped aside at the last moment and switched to Pushing. He hadn't practiced this very much, so his timing was off. But perhaps his original had done this once or twice, because it was accurate enough for several hunks of rock to slice through the air where Sasori had just been standing.
Sasori was so focused on the battle that it didn't occur to him that he could ask Solis to do more than make forcefields. His mind was still stuck on the deal he'd made with Little One. He'd forgotten the original plan. He reached out with his other hand, trying to snatch Nagato's legs out from under him.
Nagato was prepared for that trick this time. Instead of deflecting the strings, he aimed a powerful Push at Sasori. Sasori experienced what it was like to fly for the first time in his life. Solis cushioned his impact. Nice of him. If not for that, Sasori would have splatted against the front of the building that the rest of the Akatsuki was watching from. He and Solis dropped to the ground. Sasori scanned the battlefield, looking for an advantage. His unfocused eyes didn't see anything.
Warlic and Manta rode to the rescue. This time, Manta made the jet of flame and Warlic stood at the prow, looking like a dignified helmsman steering his miniature sailing vessel. Nagato Pushed at them. The board flew up, tipped over and dumped them off. Manta jumped up and down. Warlic shot back with lightning, which Nagato deflected with another Push.
Sneaky tricks! Sasori remembered part of his original plan. Being careful not to move and draw attention, he reached out again. More strings, regular ones this time, sneakily wove through the grass and over the pavement. This time, he was able to yank Nagato's legs out from under him. Nagato accidentally raised a stalagmite underneath himself, bruising his face and right shoulder. Since the ground was uneven, Warlic picked up the skateboard and ran forward for a second attempt to bash someone over the head with it.
Sasori observed that Hidan was no longer sitting next to the earthen spike. Wary of more stalagmite shrapnel and not wanting to put any bystanders in harm's way, he ran to that spike for cover. Little One had the same idea, apparently. Just as Sasori shooed him aside and crouched behind the spike, Warlic and the skateboard flew past. A miniature hurricane could be heard beyond. "He's really going for it," Sasori panted.
Something touched his hand. Sasori looked down to see Little One placing small black rocks into his palm. He curled his fingers over them and thanked Little One. There weren't many of them, but in his current stoneless state he would accept any gift of ammunition. Manta flew by, landing on top of Warlic. Sasori peeked out the other side of the spike. The stalagmites were cracked and broken, but not used as shrapnel. Not yet.
"That stupid Push jutsu," Sasori whispered. "He doesn't need to move to use it. I can't stop him from using it. And it's a perfect defense. My only chance is in the pause right after he uses it. I need a distraction." A plushie poked his shoulder. He turned. Solis saluted. The doll ran out the other side of the spike, fire and lightning already crackling. Sasori got into position. The rocks hurt his fingers. Sharp ones. Good. Maybe I can…
While Nagato was distracted defending himself from Solis, Sasori leaped out for one last attack. Strings flew from his fingers. This time, they were not aiming for Nagato's feet. Solis shot a lightning bolt. Nagato Pushed it back. Sasori's strings wrapped around his neck and face. Sasori pulled sharply. Nagato cried out as the rocks sliced into his skin. His cry ended in a shrill shriek. Sasori froze. Is he really in danger?
"I - I give up!" Nagato announced. "Aagh!"
Sasori walked up to him, not daring to move his strings. What the hell? No rock should be able to hurt him that badly. He removed each of them from Nagato's neck manually. What he saw made his blood freeze. Little One hadn't given him rocks. They were the control spikes that were supposed to be implanted into the plushies' necks. He'd defeated Nagato using Nagato's own rods.
"I'm not gushing, am I?" Nagato whimpered.
"No. I didn't cut anything important." Sasori's blood turned to ice. Regardless of their relative power levels, he could've easily killed his friend.
"Oh." Nagato didn't sound any better. "I still need healing. All the healing. And you - Oh my god. What did I just do?" He looked around. Two buildings were shot through with rocky shrapnel. Stalagmites and broken stalagmites littered the ground where road and yard had been. He estimated it was about twice as much ground area as the snake boy had destroyed. "Holy shit." I am like Yellowstone. I should be feared.
"Are you okay?" Yahiko called, racing up. "Nagato?!"
"I'm… I'm not dying."
Yahiko immediately applied water to his neck. "Sasori! That was dangerous!"
"I didn't know Little One gave me the spikes," Sasori mumbled. "I thought they were just rocks." How could I have thought that? They shine, and their shape is too regular. I was moving too fast. I wasn't thinking straight. Stupid.
"The spikes?" Nagato glanced over. "The rods. Kisame - he couldn't - couldn't control the other three plushies. If he could have, he would have." The previous battle had been so traumatizing that they hadn't realized this. Only now did Sasori put two and two and two together. He couldn't control the other three plushies. Because they didn't have their spikes in. The spikes must have been knocked out of them during the fights yesterday. Little One gathered them while he was out last night. No; Kisame controlled Manta. Who slammed into the thing. Which is where Little One was. Did he make a separate pile for the spikes behind that rock? And give me the nearest one of his piles because he knew I needed them?
"Yahiko." Nagato pushed his friend's hands aside. "Get them. Kisame doesn't have control of them. The vampires will hate that."
Yahiko sat with Warlic and Manta, both of whom were acting sore and bruised. "It's okay. I - I used special powers to make them well behaved. They're not dangerous."
The vampires heard everything. Soye came to speak with them personally. "Let me see these spikes." Sasori showed them to her and explained that they needed to be implanted somewhere in the plushies' bodies in order to work. She looked at the dolls. Solis lay sprawled facedown on the skateboard, which he had retrieved and turned upright. Warlic and Manta couldn't possibly be bruised; nonetheless, they sat still and looked down as Yahiko rubbed their backs slowly. Little One stood next to the rock, watching. "We are not concerned. For now. See that these spikes are re-implanted in a more secure location soon."
"Will do," Sasori mumbled. I nearly killed my friend.
The rest of the Akatsuki came down from their rooftop. "Sweet Jesus," Deidara exclaimed.
"Leave Sasori alone," Konan ordered. "Nagato, can you move?"
"Yeah."
Itachi held Sasori's hand. He said nothing. Sasori realized his hand was being held and squeezed back. He felt awfully strange. Nothing seemed to be quite right. Like a computer with a broken fan. Broken. He remembered how close he had come to slamming into the front of a building. Broken doll. Warlic sliding down the spike in a crumpled heap. Sasori laughed. Dolls! We're all dolls! "Excuse us," Itachi called, leading Sasori away. Deidara followed. Sasori was still laughing. Maybe everyone's a doll, with the right spikes inside.
Sakumo's group drifted away in just as ghostly a manner as the previous group from yesterday had, aside from a brief pause when most of them waved at Kisame. He waved back. Soye asked where Hidan was. Three other vampires reported that they had followed him. He was unconscious two doors down. She determined that there was no immediate threat and congratulated Kakuzu on holding a most interesting and informative set of fights. Kakuzu grunted. He wasn't as pleased. Even he could only stomach so much brutality.
When the vampires left, Konan smiled. "This was fun."
"You're only saying that because you're nuts," Nagato replied.
Kakuzu helped Kisame walk. Itachi, Sasori and Deidara rejoined the main group. Sasori was no longer laughing. They were just about to pick the dolls up and head home, when a voice interrupted. "Jeez, that was…a lot. Are you kids okay?"
"Jiraiya!" Nagato turned and embraced his adoptive father. "No. Not even a little."
Yahiko joined the hug. "Than-thanks for asking." He burst out crying.
Shikaku shook his head. "If this is what the ninja life is…"
"I did try to warn you," Kisame said.
Jiraiya released Nagato and Yahiko from the hug. "Um…what about you?" He didn't know how to approach Konan.
She shook her head. "That's not a good idea right now." I don't think I would hurt him, but I can't know for sure.
"Well then, look after yourselves, alright?" Nagato and Yahiko nodded. Nagato said he would take the next two days off from work at a minimum.
Jiraiya and Shikaku left. The Akatsuki walked home. They picked up Hidan on the way. No dinner was made. Nobody felt like eating.
.
A/N: Wa and hoo. Hoo and wa. A rather heavy chapter. It feels like things have been rather heavy lately. Can't tell if that's an illusion or not. Anyway. See you all next week.