A/N: This chapter ended up going in a direction I did not expect it to go. Very interesting. In multiple ways.

I wonder if this is because I'm writing a book now. An actual, like you might find in the library, like one written by a normal and functional adult, YA book. I've never been one of those people that suffer from an irrational compulsion to fit in just because, and I've never lamented being the way I am. Yet, as I see that I am capable of successfully imitating a normal person, I recognize in myself a desire to do it more often. If I can fit in with standard society...what rewards might that bring me? I never wondered about that before because I wrote off the whole thing as not possible. I see more possibilities now. And frankly, I'm starting to get bored living in my own world.

Perhaps I should have saved that for the end notes.

Don't worry, the rars are not going anywhere. Rar!

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General

Deidara left to go to his afternoon shift at the store. With that, the therapy circle broke up. Yahiko followed Kisame and Samehada inside and performed more healing in the privacy of Kisame's own room. Samehada whined when Kisame took his shirt off and revealed his wounds. "Hey, better than they were yesterday," he said.

Konan sent out a message in the group chat. Hidan tells me he is proceeding from the lake directly to the campground. Nagato, Itachi and Kakuzu sent her thumbs-up emojis for sharing this information in a timely manner. She sent back a devil emoji. The meaning of this one was less clear. Just a joke, perhaps?

After healing Kisame, Yahiko went to check on Konan. He spent chakra clearing up her wounds, too. After that, he was tired. "I'm gonna take a nap." He had no way of knowing it, but he had company. Nagato decided to take a nap before his anxieties could come roaring back. Kisame took one in the hope of speeding up his healing. Samehada took one just to show solidarity. Kakuzu read a book, and Konan satisfied her urge for action in a way that would not worsen her injuries by going to Yahiko's apartment and making a separate character so she could play that video game he liked. Itachi enjoyed the sunlight on the roof. It was a low-stress day.

Sasori returned from his job feeling terrible. He parked his motorcycle, got off, leaned his head against the wall and thanked his lucky stars that he'd successfully ridden home. He wandered inside in something resembling a daze. He proceeded directly to his room, hoping to crash in peace. But it was not to be. He found all four plushies standing on his bed, examining the nonliving plushie on his bedside table. Oh, crap. He picked up the nonliving doll and tossed it onto the floor. "Get off my bed." They didn't take the hint, so he pushed them all off and climbed under his covers. He closed his eyes and hoped to go to sleep soon.

A doll landed on his head. He sat up and glared at the living ones. He picked up the nonliving doll and shook it before their eyes. "Look. We, the humans that live here, got ourselves a dozen dolls like this. Twelve dolls, all just like this one I'm holding. Then we took four of them and used magic to bring them to life. That's how you were created. Warlic, Manta, I know you know what I'm talking about, because you watched Solis get brought to life. You four were brought to life by magic. That leaves eight other dolls that are not alive. They haven't been touched by magic, they can't move or think, they do not have feelings, and they will not play with you. This thing looks like you, but it's not like you. It's just an object. It's no different from a shirt." Sasori took off his outer shirt and tossed it to them. He threw the doll after it. "They're the same, okay? Not interesting at all. Now leave me alone." He went back under the covers and closed his eyes again.

The living dolls looked down at the nonliving one. Visually, it looked just like them. They had no facial muscles, so its face didn't look any more slack than theirs. They had no blood flow, so it was not paler than them. Their eyes were artificial and unblinking, so there was no shine to distinguish life and unlife. They did not breathe. If they lay on the floor and chose not to move, they would look just like it. There was no indication that the doll on the shirt was not just like them. The tired, grumpy human said it wasn't, but it looked exactly alike. They didn't really understand what "alive" meant, either. It meant moving, right? Warlic picked up the doll and shook it. It moved.

Little One jumped. He flailed his arms wildly, getting everyone's attention. He lifted up the nonliving doll and pointed at its blank, unmarked forehead. He poked Warlic's mark, and Manta's, and Solis'. Solis poked him back. They all looked at each other. Yes, that was right; they had marks on their foreheads and the one on the shirt did not. They were special. They were the marked. The one on the floor was plain, ordinary. What were they to do with it? Should they rule over the ordinary ones with an iron fist? Warlic jumped up and down happily before tossing the nonliving doll into a wall. Solis picked it up and looked around for a place to put it. No; the ordinary ones were weak and helpless. They should be looked after. Little One guided Solis to the door. The ordinary ones were not like shirts. They could be carried. They should be collected!

Warlic poked Manta. His would be the deciding vote. Manta looked around uncertainly. Then he pointed to his eyes, pointed somewhere outside the room, and mimed picking up the ordinary one and placing it in that location. Little One cheered. It was decided! They would collect the ordinary ones and look after them in a special place that Manta would find. Manta climbed onto Solis' head. Little One levitated himself onto Manta's head, then reached down to the doorknob that was about mid-knee level on him. Little One had figured out the purpose of the doorknobs after seeing one used during playtime earlier. The doorknobs were magical artifacts that must not be damaged or else they would explode. The others agreed with this conclusion. It explained why the humans looked so scared when they tried to use magic to get past a door. So they had learned how to use the doorknobs gently. Little One twisted it until he saw a little bolt in the crack of the door slide back. Then he pulled. Solis staggered back, causing Manta to lose his balance and dump them all onto the floor. The door was open!

Sasori heard metallic clicking sounds. Those sounds and fiery sounds were the only things that could have made him open his eyes. He cracked one eye open and saw the plushies exiting through the open door. He blinked forcefully. "Oh, Christ." He got his phone up next to his face and typed while still lying down, The plushies can open doors now. He put his phone on his now-empty bedside table, yawned, and finally went to sleep.

Kakuzu

Kakuzu checked his phone, hoping for a meme or something similarly frivolous. He sighed. Of course not. He put his book aside and got up. Now that the dolls could roam freely, where did they want to go?

He found them leaving Hidan's room. He raised an eyebrow at Solis carrying a nonliving doll. Thankfully, Solis didn't seem to expect it to come alive. He raised both eyebrows at Manta's absence. Something important is happening. Little One led the group. They went to Itachi's door. Little One turned and slapped Warlic on the cheek. No; it's not forceful enough to be a slap. What is it then? He bopped Solis on the head. Warlic stood under the doorknob, and Solis passed him the nonliving doll. Little One climbed on Warlic's head, and Solis levitated onto his in order to open the door. They entered the room and emerged shortly after with another nonliving plushie. Warlic carried both of them above his head. Three might be his maximum carrying capacity.

Kakuzu watched them cross the hall to Kisame's room next, with Solis in the lead. Solis turned and flailed his arms. They ignored Kisame's door and went to Kakuzu's. He stepped aside. They looked up at him. "Go ahead," he told them, gesturing at his closed door. Solis turned and tagged Little One, then bopped Warlic on the head. Warlic handed the plushies to Little One, who stood under the doorknob and let them lie on the floor beside him. Solis climbed onto Little One's head, and Warlic turned the doorknob. They entered Kakuzu's room and came out with a third nonliving plushie. This time, they each picked up one and went down to the cross hallway with Warlic in the lead.

Kakuzu's heart pounded. More than that, he told the group chat. They're using teamwork. They have a system for selecting who plays what role in opening the door. They're searching our rooms for nonliving plushies. I will find out what they're doing. He hurried after them.

Just as they reached the end of the cross hallway, Manta caught up to them. Manta raised his arms like they did when they were celebrating. The others handed all 3 nonliving dolls to him. Manta staggered away. Kakuzu glanced at the others performing gymnastics to open Deidara's door, and decided to follow Manta. Manta took the 3 dolls to the video game room, which had apparently been left open the last time anyone used it. He put them in a corner a moderate distance from the console. He sat each one up, adjusted them so they would be comfortable, then patted each of their heads. Oh shit. They do think the others are alive, after all. But Manta did not seem to expect them to reciprocate. He left the room and headed in the direction the others had gone. Kakuzu narrowed his eyes. Clearly, the relationship they thought they had to their nonliving counterparts had changed. But in what way?

He found Itachi watching over the other 3 dolls as they collected their counterparts. "They are treating them like objects now," Itachi whispered.

"No," Kakuzu whispered back. "They still treat the others as if they were alive. They're collecting them together in the video game room, like… Like a herd of sheep."

"They are shepherding their nonliving cousins?" Itachi tilted his head. "It makes sense. The nonliving dolls are like them, but unable to move or use magic. It would be reasonable for them to suppose that their cousins are crippled in some way and need help."

"What does this mean?"

"First," Itachi said while pointing at the ceiling, "we must gather accurate information." The plushies had finished with the occupied rooms and were now raiding the two remaining rooms where the spare plushies had been stored. They came out carrying all of the remaining five dolls. Itachi knelt down and placed a hand on Warlic's chest, stopping him. He pointed at the nonliving doll Warlic was dragging and asked, "Warlic, why are you and your friends gathering them together?"

Warlic turned to touch Solis' and Manta's heads, right on their markings. Then he lifted up the nonliving doll he carried and touched its unmarked forehead. He patted it as if he felt sorry for it. Then they all continued on their way.

Itachi smiled. "We marked them for our own convenience. But it helps them, too. They have a way to distinguish themselves from their cousins. Without a marking, we might not have ever been able to make them understand that the others are different from them."

"I'll ask again: what does this mean?"

"It means we can relax. There will be no more Solis incidents. However, it also indicates that they are evolving more complex social structures, with a higher and a lower caste, and a greater degree of cohesion. They may end up developing a very small secret society akin to the one the local bicycles have. I think we will not have anything to fear. Instead of ruling as tyrants, they are benevolent towards their helpless, nonmagical cousins. That has to be a good sign."

"Keep an eye on them," Kakuzu ordered. "Make sure they don't go near Yahiko's room. As soon as Yahiko wakes up, I'll ask him to lock up his art supplies."

"You fear that they may try to bring other dolls to life by themselves?"

"It pays to be prepared."

"I will see their shepherding for myself," Itachi said. He and Kakuzu went to the game room. The plushies were setting up all of their nonliving counterparts in the same corner. They turned them to face each other, as if encouraging conversation. Itachi nudged Kakuzu. "This is adorable. Excuse me." He left and came back a little while later with a spare red blanket, which he held out to the dolls. "Hello. I think you might want this." Solis accepted it. He and Little One unfolded it, put it on their heads, tried to use it as a trampoline, threw it, and other things. When the living dolls had fully explored what it was and what it could be used for, they blew it up into the air and let it settle over their cousins' heads. Then they all expressed curiosity and crawled under too.

Kakuzu and Itachi left the room. Kakuzu asked, "What is with the interest in dolls lately? Samehada plays with a rubber duck, Yahiko and Nagato cuddle them, and now we have dolls that play with dolls. It's a definite trend."

Itachi shrugged. "Perhaps our author has recently become a parent, or for some other reason is experiencing an increase in protective urges."

"Ugh. I was never a fan of parenthood."

"Hence why I added the possibility of some other reason."

Kakuzu shook his head. I don't really care why. I just don't want it to get out of control. Speaking of out of control, why hadn't Konan responded to the messages in the group chat? He checked and saw no sign that she was there. Maybe she's too distractible right now to remember to check her friggin' phone.

"Kakuzu?"

Kakuzu stopped and turned to Itachi. "Yes?"

Itachi told him everything, from Konan's order through the various errands he had run to her continued insistence on not telling him what had happened. "I see she has not told anyone else either, at least not anyone else who was present. Perhaps she told Hidan, perhaps not. What could be so important as to warrant top secrecy?"

"Perhaps it really is deserved," Kakuzu said. "I can give her three days. If it's not obvious what was so important by then, she has to give us a little more information."

"That makes sense."

Kakuzu really hoped he wasn't going to regret this decision.

Nagato

Nagato awoke from his nap feeling terrible. He checked his phone and saw that it was only an hour until dinnertime and two hours until bedtime. He lay in the dark and sighed. I don't want to get up. I want to stay asleep. He checked his phone again, because he had several notifications from the group chat. Reading them helped him wake up. He sat up, stretched and went to the game room. Kakuzu had reported that the nonliving plushies were collected there in a herd.

Nagato found Warlic and Solis investigating the console, Manta sitting among the herd, and Little One sitting in the middle of the floor with the blanket wrapped around his shoulders like a vastly oversized cape. Aside from the red stars on his forehead and hair, Manta was indistinguishable. Nagato checked to make sure the console was not in danger, then sat down next to Little One. The miniature king looked up at him. "I see you're taking good care of them," Nagato said.

Little One looked at the herd and nodded. He produced a glowing bit of magic in one hand and looked at it. "There's no particular reason why you were brought to life and they weren't," Nagato told him. "Well, actually there is, but it only delays the question. You were brought to life because you were in Yahiko's room, and Yahiko was one of the people who wanted to bring dolls to life. But there's no particular reason why you were in his room. Just random luck."

Little One looked up at him. It was impossible to guess what he was thinking. Nagato smiled. "I'm glad you're alive, though. You're very nice." He gave Little One a pat on the head.

Little One shed the red blanket and went over to Warlic and Solis. He pointed to Nagato, raised his arms up, poked Warlic's mark and jumped up and down. Warlic and Solis jumped up and down too. Is he telling them we're gods?

Being in that room made Nagato feel a little better. He went out to see what was for dinner. Kakuzu made a basic macaroni and cheese: simple, quick, universally appreciated. Nagato took a bowl to the sunroom and ate in silence. He listened to the commotion that started outside when Konan returned from wherever she had been and demanded to know why Kakuzu hadn't called her. She argued that he should have known that, in her current condition, a text might not always be read on time. Kakuzu stood his ground and argued back that he had investigated the matter, determined that there was no danger to anyone or anything, and therefore there was no reason to go around interrupting people unnecessarily. Kakuzu added something else in a lower voice that Nagato couldn't hear through the closed door. Whatever it was, it silenced Konan. There was no more commotion.

Nagato wasn't hungry enough to finish his bowl. He knew he should be, but his stomach hadn't gotten the memo. Lethargy and low appetite: classic signs of depression. Wasn't I supposed to go through bargaining at some point? He wondered if he had and not realized, or maybe he was going to return to that stage later. What am I grieving for again? That's right: myself and all the wasted time I spent on what turned out to be a fruitless yearning. His tear ducts did something, but no tears manifested. Nagato forced himself to finish his dinner.

Nobody searched for him. Something about that felt wrong. He realized Hidan usually would have, but Hidan was not there. He reached for his phone to text Hidan, but let his hand drop halfway there. He didn't really feel like going to the trouble of texting Hidan. It seemed like too much work. Oh, yeah. Classic depression. I'm going to sit in this room all night, barely moving. Like Kristen Stewart in that vampire movie that everyone hates.

His eyes were drawn to the large windows. He got out of the chair and went over to them, looked outside. Nothing was visible in the blackness except the dangling end of a branch and a few leaves. Anything could be out there. He wondered if a vampire was looking back at him. He left the window and sat in a corner out of sight. He curled up in a ball and buried his face in his knees.

Eventually he crept out and returned to his room. Everyone else had long since gone to sleep. He crawled under his covers and rested, not drifting off until much, much later.

Yahiko

Yahiko didn't actually have any means by which to lock up his art supplies. He searched his room for the most boring place he could find and settled for putting all the markers into the single drawer of his bedside table. Unless they were so devoted to bringing their cousins to life that they searched his whole room, which he would hopefully notice, they would never find the markers there.

The next morning, he woke up to find Little One lying on his chest. "Oh. Hi." Little One was lying back-down, as if he just wanted a bed that breathed. Yahiko tickled his stomach. Little One waved his arms and rolled over, allowing Yahiko to sit up. Yahiko yawned and rubbed his eyes. "So what's on the agenda for today?"

Little One carefully climbed off the bed. He walked a few steps, then turned back to look at Yahiko. Yahiko got out of bed and followed him. They went to the door. "Want me to open the door?" Little One waved his arms frantically, which Yahiko interpreted as No. "Okay. I won't open the door." Little One pointed at the doorknob. Yahiko touched it. "You want to know about doorknobs?" Little One nodded. "Uh… They're metal and shiny. This one is round, but you can find others that are shaped like handles. Rounds ones open doors by rotating, and the handle-shaped ones open doors if you push them down."

Little One made a magic display in the air. It didn't do anything, but it allowed Yahiko to see fancy glowing runes and indistinct writing. "...Doorknobs don't have anything to do with magic." Little One dropped the display and tilted his head. He looked at the doorknob, then raised his arms. Glowing red runes appeared. "No, don't do that!" Yahiko yelped. He realized what was going on. "If you destroy the door, we'll have to replace the door, and that'll be really annoying and time-consuming and we just really don't want to do that. You can't have a room without a door. It's part of the idea of a room's…roomness. You understand, don't you? You like things to be neat and tidy and complete. Well, we do too."

Little One jumped up and down happily. Then he began to search Yahiko's room. He found the box of crayons in the closet, pulled it out into the middle of the floor and opened it. He took out crayons one by one, looking at each one before placing it by his side. Yahiko smiled. "I'll let you have fun with that. Um, I'll check on your cousins for you. Make sure they're comfortable." He did as promised. He wondered if the seemingly ordinary dolls really were alive, if there was a secret channel that objects like dolls and bicycles could communicate with each other on. He already treated objects of all kinds as if they were alive, so it wasn't a strange or frightening thought to him. He just looked at them differently and wondered if he was doing a good job.

"Ah, Yahiko, here you are," Itachi said. "I should have guessed so. You are a reservoir of social emotions."

"What does that mean?"

"Why did you want to bring these dolls to life?"

"Uh… Well, I have been thinking more about parenthood lately… Holding the little snake boy felt nice."

"Parenting specifically?"

Yahiko flushed red. "No, as a part of, or side effect, or… I've been getting more in touch with my feminine side."

"Ah, so it may reflect gender-related concerns. Interesting."

"Why are you asking?"

"Kakuzu asked me to identify the causes of this trend towards playing with dolls," Itachi replied. "Kisame is the other reservoir of social emotions. I shall ask him how he has been lately."

Yahiko looked up the term social emotions and found that it meant exactly what he thought it might mean: emotions that only existed in a social context, such as jealousy, sympathy, or shame. "I still don't get it," he said to the unmoving dolls. "What was he saying about me?"

Deidara

Deidara hadn't seen Sasori the previous evening and was worried. He made sure to track down his friend before work. "Hey, Saso - woah, you look like shit, man, yeah."

Sasori sat against the wall, on his phone, with no sign of having brushed his hair or changed his clothes. "I'm raising the volume on my notifications so I'll hear it if Ruta messages me needing my help. I'm calling out."

"...Have you ever called out before?"

"Exactly once, when I came down with a sudden inexplicable flu that entirely disappeared by the next day."

"...I don't think the flu does that."

"I'm just using that name as shorthand. It started with a bit of a stuffed feeling in my head. Within two hours I got little aches all over my body. I felt tired and just wanted to lie down. When I got up, my joints felt stiff and creaky and my muscles kinda sore. I didn't have much appetite and went to bed early. The next morning, the full-body aches were gone and my head felt perfectly clear within half an hour of waking."

"That's fucking weird."

"I thought so, which is why I called in sick when I felt the full-body aches. I thought it had to be a sign of something serious. What could be that serious, come on so quickly and disappear just as quickly? It will forever be a mystery."

"Speaking of how you're doing, I didn't see you last night, yeah. You okay?"

Sasori sighed. "I feel similar to how I just described, except I know damn well it doesn't originate from an organic illness."

"Anything I can do to help?"

"I think I just need more sleep. Sleep keeps the mind stable. I think Itachi told me once that PTSD can be thought of as a sleep disorder, because sleep is that important for separating memories from emotions."

"So I can't do anything to help."

"No, not really. It's nice that you asked, though."

Deidara left Sasori's room feeling useless. He saw Kakuzu approaching. Kakuzu's body language looked purposeful. "What's going on?" Deidara asked.

"I want to find out what he did with the plushies last night."

"Let me ask." Deidara returned with Kakuzu in tow and cracked open Sasori's door. "Hey, uh, what happened with the plushies?"

Sasori lay on his bed staring at the ceiling. "I told them that we ordered a dozen dolls exactly like the nonliving one on my bedside table, then used magic to bring 4 of them to life. I reminded Warlic and Manta that they watched Solis get brought to life, so they knew what I was talking about. I told them the nonliving dolls can't move, think or use magic and are functionally no different than a shirt."

"Okay. Thanks. Have a good nap."

Deidara closed the door and turned to Kakuzu. Before he could ask, Kakuzu answered, "I just wanted to understand what happened. They came up with the marks-are-special idea on their own. Good to know they're capable of that."

"That's not all," Yahiko said, rushing up to them. "Sorry. I only just now realized you should know this. Little One hypothesized that we get so panicked whenever they try to blast a door down because doorknobs are magical and will explode, or something like that. I told him no, we just have the same preference for order as he does, so we couldn't let a room stay doorless, but replacing a door is a big pain in the butt and we don't want to have to do it. He seemed to understand."

"Dammit," Kakuzu swore. "As much as I disliked their semi-random mischief making, I dislike them getting creative even more. It gives them the potential to create more and worse kinds of trouble that are harder to deal with."

"As long as they listen to us, it's fine," Yahiko muttered.

"I was fine with them obeying commands only because we're larger than them and have the power to control them. I am not fine with them obeying commands because they see us as gods and have a whole fucking religion we're not privy to." Kakuzu stormed off. "I'm going to put a stop to it."

Yahiko tried to protest, but couldn't think of any words. Deidara meekly followed, unsure what else to do. Kakuzu gathered Warlic, Solis and Manta from Kisame's room where they were trying to perform handstands. He brought them to Yahiko's room, where Little One was three-quarters of the way through the crayon box. Little One looked up. Kakuzu put Warlic, Solis and Manta down on the floor next to him. He sat down and looked each of them in the eyes. "Listen, you little bastards. I am willing to tolerate you running around playing childish games. But I don't want you making up your own stories for how things work around here, and I don't want you hatching plans on your own. Is that understood?"

Yahiko winced. "Kakuzu, forbidding people from figuring out for themselves how things work never works! It's basic Adam and Eve."

Kakuzu shot him a glare. "He's right, hm," Deidara said.

"Kakuzu's, um, just worried that you guys will make decisions without us. That would be hurtful, because it would be like saying we didn't matter, that we're not your friends. We wanna be friends," Yahiko told the plushies.

"Stop undermining my authority," Kakuzu growled.

"Authority? What authority?" Deidara asked. "That's not how things work around here, hm."

Kakuzu shot him a glare, too. Yahiko wondered if fighting in front of the plushies was a good idea and winced. Deidara put on a brave face. I'm the counterweight, yeah. He's the one in charge now, so I'm gonna disagree with him. If he can't take it as smoothly as Hidan could, oh fucking well. "I'm doing my job, remember?"

"And Kakuzu's not comfortable with you coming up with your own explanations just because they might not be accurate," Yahiko told the plushies. "Please ask us if you're confused about something. For example, uh, we're your friends and makers, and we lived here first so we make the rules about this building, but we're not gods and we're not perfect and we don't make the rules about things outside this building. Yeah. That's the sort of thing we'd like you to know the truth about, and not make any incorrect assumptions about."

Kakuzu growled. "Since I wasn't the one leading the plushie project, I don't get to set any rules for them?"

"Your rules are just -"

"Wrong?"

"A little extreme," Deidara finished.

"They're dolls. Not actual living people like us."

"So? That doesn't mean we don't have to treat them with kindness the same way we would any other person," Yahiko said.

Deidara crossed his arms. "I'm not comfortable ruling anyone with an iron fist, yeah."

Kakuzu sighed. "The insanity around here has gone too far. I'd like to bring back some common sense."

"But insanity works," Yahiko said. "Why change?"

"Because it's only barely working. I'm not comfortable with that margin of error."

"What could happen?" Deidara asked. As soon as the words left his mouth, he wanted to take them back. Anything, you dumbass!

Kakuzu shot him a flat look. "A breach."

.

A/N: Expect next chapter to continue precisely where this one left off.

The Kristen Stewart movie that everyone hates is Twilight. I've never seen any movie in that series, but I've watched reviews, and all the reviewers I have seen show a clip of a circling shot where she's sitting in a chair and months pass.

I can't remember the last time these characters seriously disagreed with each other. It must have been back when Kisame nearly left. That was a while ago.

Oh, right! If anyone reading this knows of something that could have caused the symptoms Sasori describes, please tell me. It was a one-time thing; nothing like it has happened before or since. There was no vomiting or diarrhea as you'd expect from a norovirus, not even nausea. Is there such a thing as norovirus that doesn't cause any gastrointestinal symptoms? Google is unhelpful on this matter.

So, uh... Rar again! See you all next week.