A/N: Light chapter this week. Nothing major has happened. Yay.

Except that I did discover a fabulous blog that anyone reading this should definitely read. It's called The Articulate Autistic. Check it out. So accurate.

Rar!

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Kakuzu

Kakuzu could not believe his ears. "What fucking others?"

"The other Akatsuki members," Konan replied. "The ones who had not died yet by the time I did."

Kakuzu took a deep breath before he broke something. "You're only sharing this now?"

"I had intended to wait until they appeared." Konan frowned. "I must still be at least a little unstable."

"The membership of this group is…a very big deal."

"Yes."

"I will give him one hour for socializing. Then I'm calling Itachi," Kakuzu said.

"Understood." Konan looked thoughtful. "I wonder…"

"Wonder what?"

"If they ever will appear. What they will be like if they do. How they will integrate into a group that is well-established and coherent."

"We were well established and mostly coherent by the time the plushies got enchanted, and they had no trouble becoming part of our lives. It'll probably be easy." Kakuzu growled. "Too easy."

Konan waved a hand. "Do not worry, Kakuzu. As you say, it will most likely be easy to deal with. And I do not expect us to be waiting for long. I died at the start of a great conflict, one which they were surely part of. If their originals are not already dead, they will be any day now."

"New group members may appear soon. Lovely."

Konan requested that he not share this information too widely, and to pass on this instruction to Itachi when they spoke. Then she left Kakuzu's room, leaving him to stew in his angry thoughts and dirty clothes. The clothes, he could do something about. He sorted through them, deciding what was salvageable and what should get tossed. The shirt had taken the brunt of the damage and could not be saved, but the pants would be alright with a bit of patching. The socks only needed washing. They were Kisame's socks originally; they'd ended up with the rest of the outfit just because they were also bloodstained. Kakuzu grabbed his notebook and snuck over to Nagato's room, where he quickly drew a multiple-objects storage seal on a blank page. After cleaning the ink brush and replacing it neatly in its sleeve, Kakuzu went back to his own room, sealed the dirty clothes into his notebook, put the notebook in his pocket and started the journey back to his house.

While walking, he focused on his own angry feelings. They seemed to come from frustration. Over and over, more and more changes just kept happening. He could never relax. Everything was always in flux. Could he not have a single fucking day of nothing important happening? He used to have a well-ordered life. Everything used to be exactly as he liked it. Then Konan and all these other people had to barge in, and… Well, it was nice to have more people around. And he was having a lot more fun now. But a not-insignificant part of him resisted anyway, wanting to go back to how things used to be.

Just outside the official border of town, Kakuzu met Kisame and Samehada. The two sharks were walking the other way. Kisame carried some leashes over his shoulder. "Hey, Kakuzu," he said, stopping. Samehada peeked over his unoccupied shoulder and chirped hello. "What are you doing out here?"

"Thinking," Kakuzu replied. "About the past." He looked around and saw nobody, so he allowed himself to sigh. "I used to have a perfectly nice, orderly life. Then Konan came and took it from me. I can't help but resent her, resent it all, for that, even though the change has been good for me. I'm just…tired. Will it ever end?"

"Maybe when we're dead," Kisame joked.

"I'm being serious. Is this the way life is now? Neverending change, unstopping growth, a new revelation always around the corner?"

"I don't think so," Kisame said. "You've gotta run out of revelations at some point, right?"

"It does not seem that way." Kakuzu shook his head. "I don't know what I'm complaining about. My life before was objectively worse in every way. Hidan was my only friend. I had little to do except occupy myself with diversion after diversion. I was dangerously close to stagnating."

Kisame interrupted him with a laugh. "You, stagnating? No way."

"My point is, everything is better now. So why am I resentful?"

"I don't know, but I can tell you why I was resentful. Remember when I nearly left the group? I was upset and angry, not because of what Hidan actually did, but just because he hadn't gotten my permission to do it. Maybe you're mad for the same reason I am: because you weren't given a choice."

"I don't insist on having choices. I know very well that there are things in life you just have to put up with."

"Yeah, but like you said, you've been putting up with it for a while and it's only natural to want one single day off every so often."

Samehada warbled and came down from Kisame's back. The shark nuzzled Kakuzu's leg and made long, extended purrs. "He does that when he's trying to help me relax," Kisame translated. Samehada nodded and nuzzled Kakuzu's leg again. "Have you tried lying in the sunlight?"

"That's supposed to help me turn my mind off how?"

Kisame shrugged. "Maybe if you turn your body off, the mind will follow? I don't know either."

"Maybe I want my old life back because back then, I could relax. There wasn't so much to think about. Or I refused to think about it. Either way."

Kisame shifted uncomfortably. "If you want to get out of your own head…there's always the real world."

Kakuzu's eyes lit up. "Good idea. After I get my clothes washed and speak to Itachi, I might pay that place a visit. Though I hate it just from your descriptions of it, it might be exactly what I need."

"I'm gonna get out of my head by taking as many plushies as I can on a walk," Kisame said. "That's sure to distract me." Samehada made worried sounds. The shark didn't understand how someone could be trapped in their own head, but it sounded very uncomfortable. "So, uh, see you around."

"I haven't heard my phone buzz. What did the doctor say?"

"Oh, shit. They had nothing to say. They advised me to keep clean bandages on at all times so the wounds don't get irritated by rubbing against clothing, keep doing what I'm doing infection and bleeding wise, and it should heal up in time." Kisame posted this in the group chat as he said it. "Thanks for the reminder."

"You're welcome. I'm washing your socks, by the way."

"Thanks. Storage seal?"

Kakuzu held up his notebook. "They come in very handy."

Kisame chuckled. "Don't let the plushies know that seals exist." With one last wave, he and Samehada went around Kakuzu. Samehada climbed onto his back again. Kakuzu entered town.

By the time he got to his house and put the clothes on to wash, he estimated that enough time had passed to call Itachi. Itachi answered immediately. "Hello. Is it very important? I am having a good time with the half snakes. They are teaching me how to relax."

"Important, yes, but not that urgent. Call me back when you're done. And please share what they teach you in the group chat."

"So far, it amounts to a lot of advice on proper sunbathing positions and the importance of not speaking." Itachi wished him well, then ended the call.

Not speaking? Kakuzu was sure he'd heard that advice before. He couldn't remember from whom, but someone had suggested taking a vacation from words. Wasn't that how Samehada lived? He could try it. Kakuzu looked around and took note of how many words surrounded him. Books - obviously, reading them was out of the question. Computer - an entirely visual format based on words. Going online was not an option. No phone activity either, then, except for setting an alarm to keep himself from spending all day in this condition. Taking a vacation from words was going to involve taking a vacation from time, too, since he wouldn't be looking at any clocks. Ah, yes. Just like olden times, before the entire friggin' world went online. Kakuzu briefly remembered his childhood. He had not spent much time reading books back then. He wouldn't call those years blissful, but they had a silver lining to them that his current life did not have.

He set a timer on his phone, and felt better already. Time to find a patch of sunlight.

Sasori

Sasori awoke slowly. He yawned and turned over, amazed that he had managed to fall asleep. I must be really damaged inside. He wondered if he should spend the rest of the day in bed, or try to do something.

Then he felt something move. He raised his head. Little One had been sitting on his bed. The plushie now climbed down from it, went to the door and used magic to throw a rock against the door. Sasori sat up. What the hell is he doing?

Footsteps sounded outside. Yahiko opened the door, slid inside and picked up Little One. He nuzzled the plushie and told him, "Thanks, buddy. You really helped me out. Maybe if you take the skateboard, you can still join the others on their walk." He put Little One down and watched the doll run away. Then Nagato slipped into the room behind him, picked up the rock and put it on the bedside table. Both of them kept their body language as subdued and careful as they could as they sat at the foot of Sasori's bed. "Hey Sasori!" Yahiko said. "Nagato and I have found your advice really helpful lately. We heard you were feeling bad, so we put together a nice time for you."

"I cooked up some hamburgers for lunch," Nagato said. "I also prepared little bowls so we can pick and choose our toppings like we were at a fancy restaurant. Diced onion, tomato, shreds of lettuce. And bottles of relish, ketchup and mayo, of course. It's all laid out on the counter."

"I thought there was no way you'd say no to free food," Yahiko said with a chuckle. "Beyond that, I had no idea what you liked, so we prepared a bunch of options. We picked out some movies. We got permission from the plushies to use their red blanket. We're open to any other ideas you might have. You know, just, whatever would make it a nice day."

Sasori blinked. He was used to forging ahead by himself. He hadn't once considered asking anybody else for help, or that anybody else would be willing to help. To do something nice for him, when they didn't have to. "You guys didn't…"

"We wanted to."

"You wanted to," Sasori repeated. The concept made no sense to him. But he wasn't going to refuse just because he didn't understand. "A fancy burger sounds great."

They made and enjoyed fancy burgers together. When Nagato and Yahiko finally finished critiquing each other's choices of toppings and condiments, Nagato bit into his and moaned. "Yahiko, you are a lifesaver."

Yahiko shrank in on himself. "I hope I'm never in that sort of situation."

"What sort of situation?" Sasori asked.

Yahiko looked at Nagato. Nagato held up a finger. He finished chewing and swallowed. "I was feeling depressed earlier. Thanks to Yahiko, I feel alive again. And you. It's impossible to be depressed while taking concrete action to help someone."

"Yeah, I also feel good!" Yahiko said. "Maybe I should volunteer more?"

"Marsha doesn't turn down anybody," Nagato told him.

"...Maybe after I've finished looking for people to help. I mean, human people. I do like animals, it's just…"

"Your idea of helping is a social one," Nagato finished with a smile. "You want to help by having a good time, and you can't do that as easily with a species that you can't even talk to. Well, can't talk to for now. If you keep practicing with bushes, you might be able to."

"Oh, that didn't even occur to me! I might be able to talk to animals. I could try!"

"Konan already comes to visit on Fridays. I'm sure Marsha would let you visit."

Sasori had long since finished his burger, while the others had yet to take more than one bite of theirs. He smiled. Watching their exchange felt good. He had no desire to participate; picking up the vibes was enough.

"Oh, that's right, I'm supposed to be eating," Yahiko said with a laugh. He and Nagato agreed not to distract each other any more. They finished their burgers too. "If you guys don't mind, I'll just grab the leftover tomatoes and lettuce," he said while reaching for the bowls.

"The onions are mine," Nagato declared.

"Weirdo!"

There was very little diced onion left, so Nagato went to get the movies while Yahiko ate his salad. He returned and spread them on the counter before Sasori. "Here we've got an animated adventure movie, a live-action romance movie, a live-action movie about creativity and connecting with your inner child, and a recorded comedy performance. We've got time for two, if you want."

"Hmm." Sasori rejected the romance movie because it had one subplot that he found depressing and he didn't want to have to get up to skip those scenes. He rejected the other live-action movie because, while it sounded interesting, it might require a bit more brainpower than he felt like investing. "Comedy performance," he declared. "And I am not saying that because it involves puppets. That does not influence my decision in any way."

"Nobody thought it would until you said that," Yahiko told him.

"What about the other one?" Nagato asked. "Watch it second, or skip for now?"

"Skip. I don't like to watch more than one movie in sequence. It needs time to sink into my brain after it's done so I can fully enjoy it. Starting another immediately feels like ending a music video a minute early."

"Alright!" Yahiko exclaimed. "You have your laptop, right?"

Sasori's smile dropped. "No. It's still with Laurie for safekeeping."

"Oh. We'll just have to bring you back to our place then," Nagato joked.

"I would like that," Sasori replied seriously.

That was how they ended up huddling together under a blanket on Yahiko's tiny couch watching a ventriloquist make vaguely sexist jokes that worked because they came from a puppet that resembled a curmudgeonly old man. Sasori sat in the middle, and both of his friends leaned into his shoulders. He laughed more than he ever had. This is wonderful. I should ask my friends to do something like this more often.

Itachi

"Avoid speaking," Itachi muttered. "If you must, stick to either functional discussion or topics that have no importance whatsoever. Do active things and avoid looking at each other except when necessary."

Satori nodded. "Sunlight and warm places. Avoid the cold; that ruins all attempts to have fun."

"Your half-snake heritage may be showing," Itachi said while typing on his phone. "That said, I have noticed the same effect in humans. It's just that cold temperatures don't ruin our fun quite as much as they would for cold-blooded creatures."

"Familiar places," a half-lizard chimed in. All the other half-lizards agreed with him. "Don't try to relax in foreign territory. Maybe that's just our territorial lizard half showing, but it ruins the fun."

"Your lizard half seems to be highly territorial, yes," Itachi replied. "That said, I have noticed the same effect in humans. Unfamiliar places are preferred for nights of fun, as they heighten sensitivity to stimulation. For relaxing, which is what Kakuzu wanted advice on, familiar territory would indeed be preferable." He took a moment to think. "Does anyone else have advice for me to add?"

The half snakes and lizards thought hard, but couldn't think of anything more. Itachi thought of something on his own. "Physical touch," he said while adding it to the message he was composing in the group chat. "Humans are mammals, so we share a primitive liking for burrows and nestling together with other terrestrial mammals. For active relaxing, bright sunlight and casual touch would help. For sedative relaxing, darkness and deeper touch would be preferred." He smiled and hit Send. "There. Our best advice on how to relax, all collected together."

"We're friends, right?" Satori asked. "It would be okay for us to hear what your other friend wanted to say, right?" He looked around. The others looked just as unsure as he did, but couldn't find a reason to disagree. Neither could Itachi. He invited all five of them to sit down nearby while he called Kakuzu back.

Kakuzu picked up his phone after less than one ring. "I was just checking the group chat. I take it you're done?"

"Yes."

Itachi intended to tell Kakuzu immediately that he was not alone and the call was on speakerphone, but Kakuzu cut him off. "Excellent. As I said, I have important news. Turns out there are some other group members Konan didn't tell us about. They hadn't died yet by the time she did. She thinks they would have shortly, so their clones could appear any day now."

I should have told him before answering his question. I am going to get in trouble with Konan for this. Oh no. What do I do? Itachi looked around. He knew logically that he should come clean as soon as possible to minimize damage done, but his primitive urge to avoid getting caught was more powerful. "Other group members? How many? And what are they like?"

"Dammit! I should have asked. She used the plural, so there's more than one, but that's all I know. And she didn't tell me a damn thing about them, either. Fuck."

"Well, it can't be too many," Itachi replied. "We share a fraction of our originals' social dynamics, so I am confident that I would know if there was a great big gaping hole in our membership. I would expect only two. And they must not have been very involved. Recent additions, perhaps? Socially reclusive?"

"She said something about them participating in a conflict. This must be the conflict she told us about before, with that idiot trying to take over the whole world. Nobody no matter how reclusive could avoid being affected by a world-wide illusion, so there's no reason to suspect you're wrong."

I should have told him before. I've dug myself too deep a hole now. My only option is to stay quiet. Itachi knew logically that he was using the Sunk Cost Fallacy, and that his situation would not in fact improve if he kept going down this mistaken path. But again, primitive urges took control. "Do you have any ideas about how their integration will go? Would their world clones be joining our established group at all?"

"She seemed to think so. And after seeing how quickly the plushies joined in our daily lives, I bet it'll be as easy as melted ice cream. Joining an established group should be difficult, but who cares about what should be true around here?"

"Speaking of which, has anyone gone to visit the real-world access point in the aquarium?" Ah, why not. If I am to plunge down the path of sharing critical information with a separate but allied group, I'd better commit to it fully. Perhaps if I do so, it will turn from a mistake into a well-executed strategical move.

"I will do that after we end this call. Yahiko planned to, but got distracted putting together a spa day for Sasori. Konan planned to, and who knows what she's doing. She may have gone already. Nobody else, as far as I know, knows about this or has any interest."

"A spa day for Sasori?"

"Not literally, but he used the word 'pamper' in reference to their planned activities."

"I wonder if they are unintentionally executing any of the advice I shared in the chat just now."

"We're off topic. This isn't what I called you about. Itachi, you're the one keeping track of what our group membership means from a meta perspective. Do you have any thoughts about what it might mean that our group has, in fact, been incomplete this whole time?"

"I cannot say anything for sure," Itachi replied. "Not without knowing these other members' personalities. Perhaps they are superfluous additions to a group that is in fact already complete, their presence forced by outside circumstance. Perhaps they represent things that could not be considered until now. Perhaps they serve some other purpose entirely. I will not be able to tell you anything until after we have met them."

"Hmm. We'll just have to wait and see, then. I'll head over to the aquarium now. Keep your eyes open."

"Of course."

"And don't share what I just told you. Konan doesn't want it too widely known."

Whoops. "I will try." *beep*

Itachi put his phone away and looked around at all of his new half-beast friends, waiting for the inevitable barrage of questions. They looked confused. "New Akatsuki members?" Satori asked. "Hey, if they're as cool as the rest of you…awesome."

"What's going on with the aquarium?" someone else asked. "Does Kisame know?"

Itachi nodded. "He was the one to tell us about it, actually." He repeated as accurately as he could the way Kisame had always described the main hall to him in the past. "I never thought of this place as significant before. But now, knowing that our convenient little universe is not technically part of the real world but rather a bubble of sorts, I recognize that the main hall is a part of the bubble that connects to the real world. We've been investigating how our bubble world operates. It seems to operate on a law of convenience, where the non-magical folk that inhabit the town behave in ways that benefit us and the town itself always seems to have exactly what we need. The main hall of the aquarium does not operate according to that law. It is a place that we can go to where people are annoying, communication does not flow smoothly, inane obstacles get in your way for no reason, etcetera."

"Sounds like a horrible place," one of the half-lizards said.

A half snake, the only other one there besides Satori, scratched his head. "I don't know. It is a little…eerie that nobody seems to notice us using magic right in front of them."

"Kisame took a living doll into the room, and the people there treated it as normal just like other people in town do," Itachi told him. "However, a little boy pleaded for a chance to hug the doll, and when it was finally granted squeezed the doll hard enough to leave permanent trauma. In other words, they still treat magic as normal, but their definition of normal is much more annoying. The place is not sufficiently realistic as to cause us harm."

The half-beasts shrugged and accepted this. They did not immediately latch onto what Kakuzu had mentioned about a madman trying to take over their originals' world, nor did they launch a discussion of free will and bubble universes. Instead, someone asked how hard you would have to squeeze a doll to leave permanent marks. Someone else told them that Itachi probably meant mental trauma, since it was a living doll. Practical conversation, or where it was not practical, trivial. My gods, these people are geniuses. I must imitate them as much as I can.

The Hatakes did eventually get up to return to their own home. Satori added Itachi as a contact, and Itachi likewise. "Keep us posted."

"I will. Take care." They split up. Itachi walked through the forest back to the base. As he walked, he wondered about nothing at all. Mercifully, his mind had found a moment of rest.

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A/N: The animated adventure movie = How To Train Your Dragon. Live action romance with a depressing subplot = Love Actually. Live action movie about creativity and expressing your inner child = If You Believe. Recorded comedy performance with puppets = Jeff Dunham. Either Spark of Insanity or the very special Christmas special. It's been a while since I watched them, so I don't remember which is funnier.

I frequently want to do nice things just because it makes me feel good to do nice things, and I thank other people for giving me an outlet for this urge often. But I just cannot make myself believe that other people can use this reasoning too. On me. Maybe that's part of what I've been reading about on that blog, about how repeated rejection and confusion can create trauma-like symptoms in neurodivergent people.

Well, at least I can do nice things for myself.

I'm learning to drive! Wish me luck! Tell you how it went next week!