A/N: Hmm. Perhaps I should have begun writing this chapter earlier than last minute. I don't have this one character quite as figured out in my mind as I thought I did. Gotta work on that.

Aside from that, this chapter was exactly as much fun to write as I predicted it would be, or a little more. Heeheehee.

Yahoo!

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Kisame

Once the dolls got over their fear of Tobi, they were more than happy to play with him. Or her. Kisame guessed that Tobi didn't own the body they used, so their voice was the only thing to go on. Unfortunately, it was so high and squeaky, the archetype of all children's voices, that it could have belonged to anyone. While Tobi was distracted, Deidara told Kisame and Itachi what Zetsu had told him.

"So Tobi has literally no standards and doesn't even know that gender is a thing," Kisame summarized. Just like Samehada. "So… What? Am I supposed to make something up?"

"I guess so," Deidara murmured.

"Tobi's lack of preference gives us no guidance, which is uncomfortable," Itachi said. "I… I cannot make a decision with no guidance. I will refer to Tobi using they."

"Hidan said he wanted us to be consistent," Deidara said. "Yahiko too, yeah. But Tobi doesn't even seem like he would care if we used a different pronoun every time. I can't make up my mind either, yeah. I'll just use whatever seems right at the moment."

They then looked at Kisame. Kisame tensed up. I decided Samehada was a he just because I was more comfortable thinking of him as my same gender. I've been treating people unfairly just because of my own discomfort for a long time. It's time to get comfortable with being uncomfortable. "She seems more like a little lady to me."

With that settled, they returned to their other business. Itachi volunteered to post in the group chat for the benefit of everyone not present. Deidara used his spiders to play with Tobi and the dolls. Kisame had little to do, so he sat around and watched the antics.

Tobi got tired. It was sooner than Kisame would have expected from a normal child; he checked his phone and saw that only about an hour and a half had passed since the masked man first leaped out the back door. Tobi stretched, lying on her back in the grass. "Wow, there're so many friends to play with here! I don't know how I'll play with them all…"

"It's okay, man," Deidara said with a smile. "You can come here and hang out with us and the dolls anytime you want, yeah."

Tobi yawned. "I'm very busy. But okay."

"Busy with what?"

"Super important top secret mission."

"Oh, okay."

Tobi sat up. "Where's Zetsu? I need to be with Zetsu before I can go away. They made me promise."

Kisame stood up. "They're somewhere inside. I'll help you find them." Tobi dutifully followed him inside. Okay, she can be hyperactive at first, but once she's spent a while exercising she's not so bad. I wonder what this kid does when she doesn't have a body? That's how it works, right?

He found White Zetsu and Yahiko excitedly discussing neurology. It was something about body maps and feedback. They stopped as soon as Kisame stepped through the door. He stepped aside, letting Tobi through. "Sleepy!" Tobi called out, going around Zetsu and throwing herself facefirst onto the bed. "Ow. Nose bump." She touched her mask, seeming surprised to be wearing one. Kisame beckoned to Yahiko, who nodded and followed him out the door.

They went some distance away before speaking quietly. "I learned some important stuff," Yahiko murmured. "We should tell Konan." Kisame agreed. They went to the sunroom and found Hidan there, but not Konan.

Hidan was lying on the floor, pillowing his head on his hands, relaxing. "Is it safe for me to leave now?" he asked. They both nodded. "Cool. Konan went to the basement. She's freaked out and she won't tell me why. I already told Kakuzu, and I'll tell you guys the same: if she won't tell even me, then she needs time. Just let her fucking process."

"We need to have another meeting tonight, then," Yahiko said. "Because we have important news to tell her about Zetsu and… And… You know, that…person."

"Okay," Hidan said with a shrug. "Hey Sunshine?"

"Yeah?"

"It's awesome that you're casually walking around in girl form like it's no big deal."

Yahiko blushed. "I honestly forgot I was. Um… It's been a while. The fun has worn off, I guess." He transformed back. "Oh, it feels different to be back in my normal body. I've never spent so long in that form before. I'm not really sure how it feels. Just different."

Hidan grinned. "I know! Awesome, right?"

"Speaking of…"

Kisame raised a hand. "I should get this one. Deidara asked Zetsu about it." He relayed what Zetsu had said about Tobi. "So you can just make up whatever the fuck you want. I decided to think of her as a girl."

"Wow," Yahiko said. "I had no idea. That's not at all what I was going to say."

"What were you going to say?"

"White Zetsu is hopeful that gender-related stuff can help Obito and the others. Because having a different body in your mind than the one you actually have in the physical world is something that these things have in common. He thinks Obito will be glad to learn about it. Changing your body but staying the same person is sort of the opposite of what he does, and that makes it…similar?" Yahiko's brow furrowed. "I'm not quite sure what Zetsu meant by that, but I could tell that we, our group, made a really good impression. Even Black Zetsu sounds happy to have met us."

Hidan pursed his lips. "You know what, I'm gonna invite them to the meeting."

Kisame stiffened. "Uh…" Like new members? Or as guests, like Laurie? He realized he had no idea what their status was. How was he to think of them? What were the expectations for this meeting? Were they going to join in on the discussion, or talk from an outsider's perspective, or something else? What the hell are we doing with them? He didn't know. He couldn't even guess.

"Chill," Hidan told him. "It's just gonna be a thing. I'm not gonna put a label on it. I don't know why I want them there. I just do."

"Should I pass on the invitation?" Yahiko asked. "Because they know me and like me, and I'm not so sure they'll be comfortable with that. They haven't even met some of us yet."

"Good idea," Hidan told him. Yahiko left. Hidan got up from the floor, stretched his arms, then sat in the chair with a sigh. "How's Sammy?"

"I am waiting for updates," Kisame told him. "I don't know how long it's gonna be. Too long, in my opinion."

"Cool."

"You seem…tired."

"Yeah, kinda," Hidan said. "Dunno why. It could be me, could be someone else."

"Maybe it's backlash from Tobi going nuts earlier."

"Or maybe I've been in this fucking room too long," Hidan said. "I'm prescribing myself some grass smell, effective immediately." He got up and left the room. Kisame was left alone.

Kisame sat down on the carpet cross-legged and closed his eyes. Lean into the discomfort. You have no fucking clue what's going on with Zetsu. He might want to be friends, or not. You don't know whether you desperately want him to or not. You don't know how many people are in Obito's body. Or whose body it is. Obito's fine and Tobi fits right in, but there might be a jackass in there and they could appear at any moment with no warning. And there might be lots of opportunity for a surprise appearance, because Zetsu and however many people occupy Obito's body (assuming it is Obito's) might be new group members. Holy shit. Just when I thought I was getting settled.

He took deep breaths and repeated these thoughts while paying close attention to how he felt. Chills ran up and down his spine. Facial and throat muscles tensed. I'm uncomfortable. So what. This isn't killing me. I do not feel any sign of impending death. This is fine. I can get through this.

After a long while spent actively making himself uncomfortable, he was glad to hear his phone ring. He threw away all the discomfort he'd been holding onto and reached for his phone. In the second before he answered the call, he realized, Holy shit I made myself stop being uncomfortable just like that. Then he answered the call. As expected, it was from the vet's office. Samehada was active, chirping, still tired but obviously recovered. She could come home. Kisame ended the call with a grin. She is going to fucking love Tobi. He raced out to bring his shark home.

Obito

Obito awoke from a deep, deep sleep. Beyond the window, he could see open sky. It was bright outside: noon, or early afternoon. He touched his face. His mask was off. He sat up and grabbed it from the bedside table, put it on. He sat on the edge of the bed and tried to calm himself. Where am I? What happened? Where's Zetsu? He ran his fingers through his hair. I must still be in the building where Deidara's club is. Zetsu's somewhere around. And Tobi took over. He whimpered. Oh no…

He wanted to search out Zetsu, but was too afraid to leave the room. What if he met someone else? Someone who Tobi had spent a full hour bothering? He knew he was not in bodily danger, and he probably wasn't in danger of being sneered at to his face, either. But he did not want to see the wariness in someone's eyes or hear the hesitation in their voice. It was impossible not to be uncomfortable around someone when you had no way of telling who they even were. Was he Tobi, ready to leap up with an endless stream of chatter? Was he Obito, sensible and calm? Or might he be Madara, who would sit and appear to be sensible and calm, then issue a soul-crushing condemnation of everything you were? Nobody's ever going to look at me the same way. If only those dolls hadn't been there. I was hoping to make friends, but now… His chance to make a first impression as himself, to be known as himself, was gone.

There was a light knock on the door. "Room service," a familiar voice called softly. The orange-haired man crept through the door and closed it right behind him. He held a plated sandwich. He looked down at it, then at the floor, unable to meet Obito's eye. "Tobi gave you a lot of exercise earlier, so I thought you'd be hungry. Um. Zetsu said ham and cheese is alright with you. We didn't have ham, so I made you turkey with cheese. I hope that's okay."

Obito said nothing. He stayed seated and took the sandwich. "In the interests of total and complete honesty," the orange-haired man began. He shifted back and forth on his feet, obviously uncomfortable. "I should tell you that Hidan's an empath. He can feel people's feelings. His radius covers about half the building when he doesn't concentrate. He stayed near this room to keep a feel out for you. He said he got really afraid all of a sudden. Do you want me to leave so you can eat? Do you want to talk about it?" He stopped shifting and ran a hand through his hair. "I'm sorry, I don't know what to do in this kind of situation."

Neither did anyone else. Obito shrugged. He put the plate on the bedside table and waited.

After several seconds of dead silence, the orange-haired man said, "Uh… I'm getting no guidance right now… So… I'm just going to follow Hidan's advice and listen to my instincts. I'll do whatever I feel like doing, except for touching you obviously, and… Uh… Make a fist and raise it if you want me to stop?" He hesitated. "If you do that, I'll stop moving and speaking immediately. I promise." He hesitated some more. "I just don't know where your boundaries are and I don't want to make you uncomfortable. Okay. Situation's established. Now. Instincts…activate."

He sat down next to Obito. After a few seconds of trying to speak, he laughed. "I don't know how this works with people like you. I only have experience with Hidan, who can't stand to hear anything about the other guy. Make a fist if you want me to not talk to you about Tobi." He gave Obito several long seconds in which to do so. Obito didn't know what to do. The orange-haired man seemed…happy? "I'll take that as a 'Go ahead'!" he exclaimed. "Wow. Tobi is so cool. I don't know if this would sound creepy or not, but I want to thank you. Be-because I assume you have control most of the time? And it didn't seem like Tobi was very involved with deciding to come here, so I'm assuming you made that decision, which makes you responsible for me getting to meet Tobi, and thank you so much for that!" He paused to gather his thoughts. "There's a lot I could say, but I'll just say one of them because I don't want to keep you from eating for too long. Um. I kinda mentioned earlier, when we were introducing ourselves, that I sometimes transform into a girl. I'm really anxious about doing that. I grew up being shamed for all the feminine stuff I like to do. My parents told me not to wear anything of my sister's ever again and to act more like a boy, that I would get in trouble for it. And they were right. Kids at school wondered if I was gay. Some of them, only because they'd mentioned me to their parents and their parents put the idea in their heads. It's not appreciated for a boy to act like that. To like makeup and pretty clothes and… And to talk the way I do… Apparently my voice and the way I use it sounds feminine? Just because I don't brag and I always try to be gentle?" He looked deeply unhappy. He blinked forcefully. Were tears coming to his eyes?

"Even now," he continued, "I don't think I actually identify as a girl. I don't feel euphoria from being in that form. And I've made some Freudian slips, when talking with Hidan, who points them out to me, that suggest that I like to transform into a girl just because I still have the idea stuck in my mind that I can't do feminine things in my normal male body. I don't know if I'll ever get that idea unstuck. I'm a very anxious person. I worry all the time about how people see me. I'm… I'm a big 'fraidy-cat." He lowered his head, looking ashamed. Then he took a deep breath and raised it. He swung his legs. "I'm telling you all this so you understand the importance of what I'm saying. It took me a solid month before I could work up the courage to show my female form to the guy who already can feel all my feelings. Even then, I would only transform around him and around Konan, who doesn't talk much, especially not about personal stuff. Everyone in this group is like family to me, but I couldn't even mention that I was curious about Transformation Jutsu. Everyone in this group is super accepting of weirdness, and of Hidan switching form, and of all kinds of LGBT stuff, but still, I was so scared and untrusting."

He groaned in frustration and turned to face Obito. "I showed Tobi my female form within five minutes of meeting him." He paused for several seconds to allow this news to ring in the air. "Five minutes," he repeated. "Because Tobi picked up a doll and was holding it like a baby, singing to it, and he wasn't self conscious at all. He wasn't shy at all. He made it seem like the most natural thing in the world, and… And… And I knew in a way I've never known before that he would accept me. There are lots of things that technically I know, logically, but I don't act as if I really believe it. With Tobi, I believed it. Instantly. I've never felt so safe around anyone before." He bit his lip. "That's why I'm… So, so glad that you brought him to me. Thank you. And… I - I - I know that you're a different person. But I can't help but think there must be some connection. Zetsu tells you what Tobi is like, right? You couldn't share a body with someone like that and not learn to be pretty accepting yourself. I'd show you my female form. Not right now, because I've spent way too long talking and you still have to eat -" He laughed nervously. "But, but, yeah. Um. I, I just had to say it. It's a lot. I - I - I'll leave you to eat now." His voice trailed off into a rushed mumble and he leaped to his feet. He gave Obito an exuberant wave before exiting the room.

Obito stared at the door. His stomach growled, but he didn't even think of the sandwich. He had never been spoken to the way the orange-haired man had just spoken to him. Nobody talked about the others with him. The man was wrong. Zetsu had told him the basics of what Tobi was like: that Tobi was a child, liked to run around and talk a lot, treated everybody like a best friend, never seemed to realize that this made people uncomfortable. Zetsu shared enough that Obito knew roughly what to expect when he resurfaced. But he hadn't known that Tobi liked to play with dolls as if they were babies. Obito's head spun. Everybody who had ever learned that he had multiple personalities said something along the lines of, But you're yourself now, right? He had never heard, Thank you for introducing me to that other guy. Obito could not have begun to explain what the difference was between those reactions, but it was vast and profound and life-changing.

There was another light knock on the door. "Hey," White Zetsu called. "We heard you're up."

Obito's stomach growled again. "Give me a minute," he replied. "I need to eat." He took off his mask and took several bites of the sandwich. It was plain, with nothing in it besides bread, turkey, a slice of muenster and some mayonnaise. Of course. The orange-haired man didn't know what he liked, so went with something generic. He was acting so nervous out of desire to be considerate. Out of desire not to be yelled at. And Obito had sat there, expecting to be yelled at too.

He put his mask back on and invited Zetsu in. Zetsu sat on the bed next to him. "How are you feeling?" Black Zetsu asked.

"The man with the orange hair. I've forgotten his name."

"It's Yahiko."

"Yahiko." Obito looked down at his lap. How could he possibly explain what he felt? He tried to share with Zetsu his feelings the same way Yahiko had. He picked the one thing that was the most meaningful and symbolic. He didn't need to give paragraphs of background information like Yahiko had; Zetsu had been by his side since he was fourteen, so Zetsu knew almost everything. Obito skipped straight to the gut punch. "All my life, whenever I wake up from something like this, the only thing I've ever heard is, "You're Obito now, right?' But Yahiko told me, 'Thank you for introducing me to Tobi.'" He paused to allow the words to ring in the air. "It's so different. I don't even know how it's different. But I… I never hoped that I could… That anyone would look at me like… He was so happy. I never thought… It gives me chills." He turned his head toward Zetsu. Not far enough to see them; he felt too vulnerable while sharing to look anyone in the face. "I want…" What do I want? It feels like I want everything. Things I don't have names for. He looked down again and shrugged. "Nobody ever said that to me before."

Zetsu was silent for a long time. The air seemed to grow thick and heavy around them. "Gotcha," White Zetsu murmured, sounding sad. "You want to stay here for a while. Make new friends."

Obito jumped. Did Zetsu think that he was criticizing them?! "No! I didn't mean - You guys -"

"Aren't perfect," Black Zetsu finished. "We're only two half-plant humanoid beings. We're not a sociable kind of plant, and plants don't socialize the way humans do anyway. You need the company of your own kind."

"I didn't mean…"

White Zetsu waved his hand. "It's okay. We're plant people living in a world of human people. Realizing that we've been accidentally offending or leaving something out is just part of life for us. Don't feel bad."

But Obito did feel bad. "You guys are the best friends I could ever ask for. You helped me escape from the first Madara and you've been there for me ever since. I owe you a lot. I do appreciate you, I do. I don't mean to sound like I don't."

"We like him too," Black Zetsu said. "Yahiko. The first thing he did after meeting Tobi was march out and tell everyone else that they were to treat Tobi well. He's protective. He's a good friend, and you're right to see him as such."

"We've been scouting out opinions," White Zetsu added. "Several people were confused or annoyed by Tobi at first, but they're willing to take some time and adjust. Only one person actually didn't like him. The lady with the paper butterfly was raised as a child soldier, and seeing Tobi acting all innocent makes her super uncomfortable. Her closest friends all promised to try and help her get over that. They have a group chat, so the people that aren't here at least know what to expect, and Yahiko assured us they're sensible and accepting. He even told us a story about imagining the reactions he would get if he showed up to a group meeting in his girl form, and how he always imagined one of the guys we haven't met smiling at him and waving him in. Then it actually happened in reality. So at least one of them is accepting."

"Translation: safe," Black Zetsu said. "It seems that people who are comfortable with changing gender are likely to be comfortable with you, too. Gender problems can involve having a different body in your mind than you have in the real world. It involves changing your appearance so as to look like a completely different person but keeping the same identity, which is your situation but inverted. So this group seems pretty safe."

"At least for you and Tobi," White Zetsu said. "We couldn't find a way to probe for how they'll react to Madara, but I'm optimistic. They said Hidan's alter is a huge jackass too."

"Avoidant and nonspeaking," Black Zetsu retorted. "Completely different."

"Eh, makes people not like him, so same thing."

"Entirely different."

"It's worth it," White Zetsu told Obito. "They might get along with Madara, and even if they don't, they'll be chill about it. It's not a big risk."

"I agree about the risk-reward balance being in your favor," Black Zetsu agreed. "We're supportive of making friends with these people."

"Speaking of!" White Zetsu chirped. He grinned. "They invited us to a group meeting tonight. Ani and I weren't sure what to say, but if you're having such a good time…"

Obito's heart began to pound. A group meeting? Everyone all at once? That sounded very scary. What if Madara surfaced? Madara had a horrible tendency to take over specifically during high-stakes interactions with people Obito wanted to befriend. He always drove them away. If I go to this meeting, Madara will appear. I know it. If he talks to Yahiko, he'll really hurt him. He's good at finding weak spots and attacking them. I can't do that to Yahiko. "I…don't think that would be a good idea."

"You sure?" White Zetsu asked.

"I'm sure."

"Want us to tell them?"

"...I can do it." He felt very nervous about meeting anyone else other than Yahiko. What if Yahiko was an extreme outlier? But if Yahiko had come to trust the rest of his group, Obito could at least try to do the same. He had to leave the room at some point anyway.

"Do you want us to be with you?" Black Zetsu asked.

"...Yeah."

"We'll hang back," White Zetsu promised.

Zetsu left the room so Obito could finish eating. They had the right to remove the mask if needed, but they implicitly understood that Obito was to be seen without his mask on for as little time as possible. Obito preferred it that way. Obito took the empty plate out. Zetsu showed him to the kitchen, where he placed it on a counter. "Hidan is a very important person in charge of coordinating group members. He's the one who invited us, and he prefers to be outside," Black Zetsu said. "Since he's so important, everyone else wants to talk to him too. We'll shoo them away for you if they don't leave."

They went out to the backyard. As Obito opened the door, he felt something. He realized he had made a big mistake.

General

Hidan was indeed outside. Having gotten his fill of grass smell long ago, he would've preferred to be in the forest, but other people needed him to stay close. He sat on the rocky platform with the cracks, pretending to be a yogi. Yahiko sat on a tree branch, as Hidan had ordered him to, in order to calm down. He was freaking out in multiple different ways from having told Obito his feelings. Kakuzu and Kisame were still out with Samehada. They were probably going to return any minute now, if something hadn't come up, which something might have. Hidan didn't worry about them. Itachi had gone into the basement and reported that Konan was nearly finished with her meditation. Itachi now sat at the base of the rocky platform. He didn't say anything, but Hidan got the sense that he felt helpless and adrift in a sea of change and derived comfort from being near someone who was in control. That was the only possible explanation for why Hidan didn't feel perfectly centered. He knew himself well enough to understand that any anxiety or uncertainty he felt in this situation must come from other people. Deidara busied himself taking the dolls on a walk. He was just like Itachi, but much more so. Hopefully the walk helped to calm him.

So there wasn't nearly the crowd Black Zetsu had predicted when he, his other half, and the masked man stepped out into the backyard. "Hey hey," Hidan said with a wave. "Made up your minds yet?"

Itachi looked. Hidan felt a wave of ice run up his spine. "Who is that?" Itachi asked.

Yahiko leaped down from the branch. "Someone new?" He peered at the masked man. "He does look a little different. Nice eyes, Itachi. Uh, hello!"

Zetsu froze. Oh, fuck, both halves thought at once.

The masked man studied Yahiko back. He didn't say anything. Yahiko's instincts commanded him to react as if it was Konan staring at him. He didn't know what gave him that impression, but he obeyed, dropping his hand and his goofy smile and trying to look serious. "I'm Yahiko."

The masked man turned his head to look at Itachi next. Itachi averted his eyes. Very subdued body language. Reserved. Untrusting and potentially hostile. Even Konan never looked like this. She acts reserved in self defense, and we all knew that truthfully she wanted and needed our help. I have no idea what this man wants, and he does not seem to need anyone's help. The masked man had done nothing to create an impression of menace, and his aura was not very out of the ordinary. Nonetheless, Itachi wanted to be very careful.

Hidan tried to prevent himself from being overwhelmed by sheer terror. It took up a great deal of his mental energy, but he had enough to spare to notice that Yahiko didn't look terrified and Itachi seemed nervous, but not verge-of-panic nervous. Where was the gut-churning heart-pounding leg-activating terror coming from? Zetsu? He couldn't detect the masked man at all through that much noise.

The masked man returned his attention to Yahiko. He stepped closer. Yahiko smiled. "What's your name?"

"None of your concern." That voice! It was impossibly deep, deeper even than Kakuzu's. How could that voice and Tobi's voice come from the same throat? The masked man crossed his arms as he studied Yahiko. "Hmph. A child in a grown-up's body."

Yahiko swallowed. "Yeah. Isn't everyone?" He winced as he heard his voice sounding higher and thinner than usual, more like a child's, as if he was conforming to the stranger's judgment. No! I promised myself that I wouldn't be like that character, bending to the will of stronger people. I've got to learn to stand strong!

"No." That single word was as devastating as an axe. The masked man turned away and walked up to Itachi next. "Pathetic." He studied Hidan. "Hmm." He pronounced no judgment on Hidan. "Better than I expected from Zetsu, but that's not saying much."

Both halves of Zetsu tried to stop their fists from clenching and only partially succeeded. Madara was especially good at pressing their buttons. But they knew better than to play his game. They stayed silent.

There was the sound of a car engine. Itachi jumped. His instincts told him to run and warn Kisame, warn Samehada, before the innocent shark could make her way to the backyard. But his legs were paralyzed. He couldn't move. The masked man turned and waited. His body language dripped with Control. Power. Dominance. Itachi envisioned him meeting Kakuzu, and nearly panicked. Then he envisioned Konan coming out. Hidan cried out. He leaped off the rock and ran into the forest, disappearing among the trees faster than the eye could follow.

Kisame ran around the side of the building. "What was that just now?"

"Kisame, meet -" Before Yahiko could perform any kind of introduction, the masked man walked up to Kisame. "Someone new," Yahiko whispered.

The masked man chuckled. "For all your size, a coward." He looked down at Samehada, who lolled her tongue out. He ignored her and turned to Kakuzu, who had already hardened his skin and put on his fiercest glare. "And yet another coward. Everywhere I look, I see grown children. Not an adult to be found. A pity."

Yahiko tried to speak, but his vocal cords refused to work. He wanted to say, There are different kinds of adults. He knew the exact words. He just couldn't get them out.

Kisame gestured for Samehada to get behind him, which she did. Oh shit. I was right. "Who are you and what gives you the right to be such a dick?"

"Simply someone looking for mature company," the masked man replied. "As usual, there is none to be found."

He's lonely! Yahiko seized on this to give himself the bravery to speak. "W-well, there might not be anybody here who's as…adjusted as you, or… But we're good company in our own ways. If you could give us some time…"

"No need," the masked man replied. "I understand what you are. I do not need to learn it." He sat down on the top step of the porch, like a king claiming his throne, entirely at repose. "I will look further because it is wise to do so, but I don't expect to see anything different."

A little bit of time passed while everyone else reeled in shock, struggling to find a way to respond. Who the fuck is this guy? What do we do? Before either question could be answered, Konan emerged. The masked man turned to look at her. She looked at him back. "Hmm," he said.

Konan turned white as a sheet. A tremor ran through her whole body. She turned to paper, each sheet of which raced into the forest faster than it should have been physically capable of doing. In only a few seconds, she was gone.

"Interesting," the masked man remarked. "Does she know me?"

Itachi's racing mind came to the conclusion that yes, she did. She tried to warn us. She tried to prepare us. His mind came to this conclusion so fast that he had no idea what evidence it was using. He was sure he should recognize this masked man from warnings Konan had tried to secretly give, but he had no idea why he thought that.

"Well, that seems to be the end of the sudden arrivals," the masked man said. "I've seen enough." He got up, walked out into the middle of the grass, and sat down on his knees. He bowed his head as if praying.

He raised it again several seconds later, but not as smoothly as he had lowered it. His shoulders subtly relaxed. Itachi gasped. "Obito! Thank goodness. Are you alright?"

Yahiko knelt down and put a hand on Obito's shoulder. Obito looked him in the face. "Are you okay?" Yahiko asked. Oh my god. He has to share a body and a life with someone cruel! That's horrible!

"I'm alright," Obito replied. "What…" He looked around.

Kisame stayed silent. I was right. There's a jackass with him. Actually, I was more than right. It's a dangerous jackass. He knelt down to pet Samehada's head so Obito wouldn't see him glaring.

Kakuzu had no such qualms. "Yahiko?" he asked in his sternest, hardest, least forgiving voice. Yahiko was unofficially the one in charge of Obito's alternate personalities. What was his unofficial official decision?

"Oh no," Obito whispered. He cringed.

Yahiko couldn't stand to see him looking so afraid. He raised his head and spoke loud enough for everyone to hear. "Don't worry, Obito. No one is going to blame you for sharing a body with a jerk. We're not gonna give you a bad reputation because of someone else's actions." Yahiko gave Obito a hug. "I don't know what's wrong with him that makes him act so mean, but it has nothing to do with you."

"Who was that?" Itachi asked. He had mostly stopped trembling. The sheer terror in her eyes…

Obito whispered something. "Madara," Yahiko repeated. He released the hug. "Are you okay? You didn't go to sleep this time. It looked like he forced you back into control."

"I feel fine," Obito whispered. His voice cracked. Tears trickled down the inside of his mask.

"Okay," Yahiko said. "Wow, that guy was intense. I, um. I vote for a round of cool drinks."

No more was said for a long while. Kisame took Samehada inside with him when he fetched the drinks. Kakuzu stayed outside, skin still hardened, unwilling to take his eyes off the situation. Yahiko panted. I was strong! After the scary person went away, but better late than never! I did it! I stood up for something! An incredible whirl of feelings spun inside of him. The same was true of Itachi, who remained huddled in a ball with hands around his knees. Kisame had to place the drink on the rock next to him. Samehada approached Obito cautiously. She licked his cheek, warbled in concern, and nuzzled him while making her most comforting rumble. Kisame forced himself to relax for the sake of his shark.

Zetsu sat on the rock next to Itachi. Kisame had gotten one drink for the both of them. White Zetsu sipped it while Black Zetsu scanned the yard with his eye. Neither of them could believe that Madara had appeared and disaster hadn't happened. Surely it was just delayed. Any moment now.

Deidara returned with the plushies. They were still on their leashes. "Aw man, Hidan left? Just when I wanted to chat with him." Everyone looked at him. He blinked. "What?"

Itachi struggled to think of a way to describe what Madara had just done. Targeted personal vulnerabilities. Attempted to drive off allies. Very powerful and persuasive, domineering, enforcing his will on others. At last, he put the pieces together. He realized why Konan had been so terrified. Oh, fuck.

.

A/N: I didn't expect Madara to appear this early, but given what I did have established about his character in my mind, it made sense. I also wasn't expecting anyone to figure out what was going on before Konan herself revealed it, but since Madara showed up and Itachi is Itachi, well...

Oh man, this whole region of the story is just so much fun. I'm really looking forward to next chapter, too. The first chapter of the fifth year of this story. Time to make a new folder! Yayyy!

See ya 'round!