A/N: Posting this absurdly early in the morning because I can. A) I woke up super early. B) The chapter was already complete.

As is 90% of the chapter after this one. I'm even more ahead of this story in real life than I was last week, having made an appointment to see a gender therapist. Being ahead of the story grants me a very significant ability: the ability to write ahead. Oh yeah.

As for why I woke up super early... It might be because of the massive disruption that happened yesterday. Something terrible happened to a family member. I won't get into specifics, but it is a thing that will be very relevant for an unknown length of time. I do not know if it will somehow influence this story. But I am very, very glad I have a good amount written in advance. I may need to pare back the total amount of time I spend writing.

So then! Let's get into a part of the story that's moving and dynamic as a story should be, shall we?

.

Konan

Yahiko, after being advised by Itachi, suggested that everyone scatter for the rest of the day. So that was what they did. They all came back that evening, as the sun fell, for the group meeting. Zetsu and Obito were among them. Obito shook like a leaf. Yahiko looked around and selected Itachi. He placed Itachi next to him in the circle, then scooted away and waved them in so that Zetsu and Obito could sit between people that they trusted. They followed the usual ritual of gathering wood, piling it in the center of the stone platform in the backyard and lighting it on fire. The crackling flames as the fire grew provided a soothing white noise. It was too early for dinner, but water was provided.

"Hello there. I am Sasori," Sasori said in his usual deadpan. "I run the auto shop in town."

"I am Nagato, and I work at the dog shelter," Nagato said, sounding most unsure of himself.

"I'm in charge right now because I'm saying so and people seem to be acting like it anyway," Yahiko declared. "Itachi, read off exactly what you said in the group chat."

"'Update: a third personality occupying Obito's (assumed) body has emerged. They are likely to be problematic. Will be discussed at the meeting tonight,'" Itachi read. He turned to Obito and said, "I wrote 'assumed' because I have no way to be sure whose body it is, but I assume the body was originally yours."

"It was," White Zetsu clarified. Itachi thanked him for the clarification.

"I - I'm sorry," Obito said, cringing as if he expected physical violence. "I'm sorry!"

Yahiko placed both his hands one over the other on Obito's shoulder and pressed down. "Hold steady. It'll wear off in a few minutes. Everybody give him space."

Konan was shocked. I do not understand what he's doing. She realized her desire to avoid thinking of or seeing the masked man had prevented her from gathering crucial information. She knew about him and his various personalities. But she did not know the opinions of her fellow group members. She had no idea how they felt about or interacted with the various personalities. If Obito and the others elected to maintain contact with or join the Akatsuki, she would need to get comfortable thinking of and talking about him, fast. Talking about them, rather. Something didn't seem right. The rapid switching, causing confusion and distress, was not something that the masked man she remembered would have done. It was possible that she did not, in fact, understand him and his various personalities at all. That idea was terrifying. She felt like she was standing on quicksand.

Obito took deep, shaky breaths and looked up at Yahiko. Yahiko nodded. "I'm in charge now," he repeated, projecting his voice over the whole yard. "Nobody is going to say anything critical unless invited to." Obito looked down again, visibly struggling to relax himself.

"I have an idea," Nagato said. "How about we perform introductions? Itachi put brief descriptions in the group chat, but nothing specific. Obito, uh, I don't know you. Can you tell me about yourself?"

Yahiko kept one hand on Obito's shoulder for support. Obito shrugged. He glanced at Zetsu.

"Nope," Black Zetsu replied.

Obito seemed confused. He looked at Yahiko. Yahiko seemed confused too. He murmured, "I guess Zetsu knows best…"

Obito shrank in on himself. "I'm shy," he said so quietly they had to strain to hear. "I'm really not confident at all."

"Heh, I know what that's like," Nagato replied. "I've spent most of my life trying to make other people happy. It's been tough, learning how to stop doing that."

Konan couldn't help but notice Kisame and Kakuzu looking very unhappy. They probably wanted to skip straight to the important part of the meeting. Thankfully, they kept any and all annoyance to themselves, obeying Yahiko's command.

"Do you have any hobbies?" Nagato asked next. "I haven't done it in a while, but I enjoy painting rocks and leaving them on the ground for people to find."

"I don't have any hobbies," Obito said, just as quietly as before.

"Tobi seems to have all the hobbies," Yahiko said. "He said he collects flowers."

Nagato blinked. "Oh. Uh… Do different personalities specialize like that? Like, one's in charge of work, one's in charge of leisure… I thought they were all just like normal people."

"Well, I'm sure every case is different," Yahiko said. "Itachi, you're on research duty. Look up everything there is to know about multiple personalities, understand it all, and put what you understand in the group chat."

"I have already begun this task," Itachi replied.

"Itachi's our information-analysis guy," Yahiko told Obito and Zetsu. "He's really smart and good at thinking."

"Yes!" Nagato exclaimed. "That's another great idea! We should introduce ourselves by group role."

"You okay?" Hidan asked him.

"No, I'm very nervous and looking for activities to do to keep my mind off of things."

"Okay," Hidan chirped. "I'll start. You probably figured this out already, but I'm basically the group therapist. I'm also part of the fun-having squad, the people who initiate the fun shit. Yahiko and sometimes Dei are also on the squad, which I made up just now."

"Okay," Yahiko said with a chuckle. "I'm, uh… I'm the person who believes other people are worth caring for. So I take care of all dependents, like the plushies, and comfort anyone who's in a rough patch, and I can use magic to heal or at least soothe injury. Recently I've been learning to use medical magic on the mind, too. I have a talent for it!"

Nagato raised a hand to signal that he wanted to introduce himself next. "I have no idea what my role is. I don't know what I'm doing with my life." Hidan laughed and slung an arm over his shoulder.

Deidara raised a hand. "I'm the counterweight," he said proudly. "I oppose whatever the people in charge are doing, yeah. Not in a mean way; in a 'pointing out downsides and consequences you haven't thought of' way, yeah."

"I analyze information and advise others," Itachi said.

Samehada chirped next. She nuzzled Kisame's arm and rumbled. "Samehada also comforts people and takes care of dependents, just like Yahiko," Kisame translated. "Also, because she's not human, she doesn't understand a lot of things that humans take for granted. Talking with her cures even the worst cases of overthinking."

He raised his hand to indicate he was speaking for himself now. "I'm Yahiko's opposite. I'm the one that believes other people aren't worth it. I'm paranoid, I hate unpredictability, I don't want to be pressured into things, I don't want to be told what to do, and I'm constantly on the lookout for anyone who can't be trusted." He bared his teeth. "I don't like people who can't be trusted." He fixed his gaze on the fire, but they all knew who he was talking about.

"I'm a similar way," Kakuzu said. "I like to have control. I like to know what's going on. I don't put up with being ordered around 'because I said so.' Anything you want from me had better have a good reason behind it. I can be persuaded to agree with a strong reason that I don't believe in, but I won't accept a flimsy justification even if it is for something I want."

Sasori raised a hand. "Kisame, Kakuzu and I are on the caution squad. We put the brakes on anything that's too crazy. I am…" He took a moment to think. "Not bothered by stuff. I don't tend to get swept away by either fear -" He glanced at Kisame. "- or excitement." He glanced at Yahiko. He sipped his water bottle for emphasis. "I'm the guy who reminds everyone to chill the fuck out, whatever seems incredibly important isn't that important, the life-changing thing hasn't actually changed anything, etcetera."

"Like I said before," Yahiko said to Obito with a huge smile. "I was worried about reactions, but he doesn't react."

"Based on everything I've seen so far," Sasori continued, "I get the sense that my services are needed. So here's my perspective. We thought Deidara was introducing us to two or three new people. But actually, we were introduced to five. Considering there are ten established members -" He counted to make sure he had that right. "- yes, ten, that's quite a lot. But no big deal. We make new friends all the time. This is exactly like things we've done before, not unusual at all and certainly not a reason to flip out. We've met problematic people before, too, and handled them. It was fine. I think the plushies were more of a disturbance, because they're not human and can't be handled the way we usually handle things, by negotiating. Introducing them to our lives required us to learn new ways of interacting. You guys are normies next to living goddamn dolls."

"We appreciate your chillitude," Hidan said solemnly. "So… Konan…"

"I collect information from all members in order to maintain a general understanding of our overall situation," she replied. She spoke in her mission-debriefing voice, which was pleasantly neutral, very formal and lacking in emotion. "I maintain distance. I distinguish myself by formality, do not usually express my emotions, and remain here most of the time while other members travel around town. I monitor the group chat, and initially I was the one to call all group meetings. Others learned to do so after adjusting to my ways and seeing the benefits they bring. I lead and direct all interactions with other groups, decide how best to coordinate our resources, and occasionally issue orders if the group is lacking in some way."

After she finished speaking, there was silence. Nobody said anything. There was a lot of glancing around. "Th-uh-th-that was all technically accurate," Yahiko said. "Um. I think it's time to get to the hard part of this meeting."

"Agreed," Kakuzu said.

Itachi raised his hand high, arm at full extension. "Excuse me! This is a very careful matter. I have spent the past several hours planning how it should be handled in order to optimize the outcome. Allow me to gather my thoughts." He gathered his thoughts. "I believe we should start with some claims that may be hard to believe. Zetsu, Obito, you have already been introduced to the idea that magic exists in this region."

"Yahiko changed into a girl right in front of us," White Zetsu replied.

"We're half plant. Nothing is hard for us to believe," Black Zetsu said. "Get to the point."

Itachi folded his hands in his lap. "This town we live in is a liminal space between two worlds. One is an ordinary world with no magic, which you have false memories of always having lived in. The other is a world of magic, where people learned to use it to wage war against each other. Almost everybody here is a clone of someone who lived in the magic world and recently died. Upon the death of your original, you were created, possibly from a fragment of their soul. You have the same general shape of life as they did, but specific details have been altered according to established rules. Now, I said that almost everybody here is a clone because there is one person that is not. Konan comes from the magic world. For some unknown reason, she was unable to make it to whatever afterlife awaits people in her world and instead ended up here, her soul intact, uncloned and with all her memories. She knew all of our originals personally. And she knows your originals, too."

Zetsu and Obito looked at Konan. She fixed her gaze on the fire. How can I possibly speak of them? Even with Itachi's support, I do not know if I can get through this meeting. It feels just as impossible as the first funeral.

"So Madara was right," Black Zetsu said.

"Yeah, it had to be something like that," White Zetsu agreed. "She didn't even need to hear him say a complete word. She recognized him as soon as he made any sound at all. Like she knew his voice."

"Konan, why didn't you mention that you used to know somebody who scared the crap out of you?" Kisame asked. "I know you keep a distance from everyone else, but hiding something like that makes me feel like I don't actually know you."

"Actually, she did," Itachi said. "We held an entire meeting about a terrifying, formidable figure appearing in this world."

The backyard went dead silent. Hidan curled his arms around his legs, buried his head in his knees and moaned. "I feel shitty." Konan closed her eyes.

"I think it is time to hold another funeral," Itachi declared.

.

Nagato explained to Obito and Zetsu what the word 'funeral' meant in this context and summarized how the first funeral had proceeded. "In this case, someone needs to record everything she says, because not everyone is here to hear her. Um…"

"I have a recording app that I use to practice my music," Itachi said. He pulled it up on his phone and indicated that Zetsu should pass his phone along the circle to Yahiko, who sat next to Konan. "I have switched it from the Music setting to the Meeting setting. Press the red button and wait a second or two for it to start recording. It has no time limit."

"Okay, it looks simple," Yahiko said. "Um, are we going to go over what she said about Madara's original after the funeral, or save that for some other time?"

"It depends on whether our new friends are the sort to get a shock over with all at once or absorb it gradually," Itachi said. "Let's not decide that now. We must see how much of a shock the funeral actually is."

"Okay. Starting the recording. Whenever you're ready, Konan."

Konan had opened her eyes and resumed staring into the fire. Her mouth was dry. Worse, she feared that she might slip into a flashback and attack somebody. "Nagato," she whispered. "If I should fall into the past, keep me from harming anyone."

"Okay," he said.

"I have no knowledge of Obito's original."

Hidan twitched. "You don't?"

"Something strange appears to have happened," she said. "In my world, I did know a masked man who went by different identities, each with a characteristic personality. But it was an act. He was a master of acting all different ways in order to disguise himself. From the way that everyone else speaks of it, I gather that is not the case now. The process of world clone formation appears to have made the disguises into reality." Her brow furrowed. "Perhaps in order to act so successfully, he was drawing on different parts of himself. It is true that the most effective lies contain truths at their core. Anyway. I suspected that Madara might not be his true name, but I never learned his real identity. I never heard the name Obito until today."

"Wow," Yahiko whispered, unable to stop himself from reacting. "Sorry."

"I… I would prefer to save them for last," Konan murmured. "Zetsu. You and the masked man both appeared in my life at the same time, already partnered and working together. Where you came from and how you met, I have no idea. Your original was a - or should I say your originals? You both seem to be much more forward in this world. The Zetsu I knew was treated as a single functional unit, a single spy, a single figure blending into the background, never speaking for himself. He performed whatever function was needed. When Madara attempted to persuade us, Zetsu backed him up. When, in order to gather firsthand knowledge of how the Akatsuki functioned, he disguised himself as Tobi, a wannabe member who later became an official member, Zetsu pretended to be in charge of him. You were used as a spy because of your ability to sink into and move effortlessly through earth, trees, stone, and any other solid natural substance. I have no idea what other abilities you may or may not have. I have no idea what personality your original had, if any. Originals. My apologies; White Zetsu did all the talking."

Konan was quite proud of herself for getting this far without breaking down. But the worst is just beginning. "As for Tobi… That personality was designed to be the ideal of harmlessness. As Tobi, he would demonstrate physical clumsiness and offend with careless but innocent words. Tobi justified his membership with useful battle abilities, but really only ended up becoming a member because of Sasori's death. The Akatsuki was formally organized into a paired structure, with members partnered for all of their missions. Deidara had been partnered to Sasori. After Sasori's death, he needed a new partner. World events at that time were moving quickly, preventing us from taking the time to recruit a new member. Tobi was convenient. I'm sure that man was glad to have an opportunity to join the group in a way that no other member would find suspicious. His real status was hidden from everyone besides Nagato and I."

Now was the time to move on to Madara. Konan found herself struggling for breath. Chills ran up and down her body. Her vision narrowed. Yahiko put a comforting hand on her shoulder, for which she was grateful. "Madara…" Her voice cracked. She saw vividly, as if he was standing before her, his cruel face watching her with contempt as he choked the life from her. She coughed. Reflexively, she touched her throat, trembling all over. "He… He attacked." She had no idea why she said that. She no longer was aware of being at a meeting, sharing her past with other people. She was only aware of his hands. His hands.

Using strength she didn't know she had, she changed the flashback. Instead of his hands, she heard his voice, his powerful and inescapable all-surrounding voice weaving itself around her mind. "He approached us. The three of us. Yahiko was there. He wanted Nagato's power to be his tool, but Yahiko was there to ward him away. Th-then, Yahiko died." Yahiko fell to the ground, lifeless, brave and self-sacrificing to the end. "Everything was so much more believable then. The world was a dark place. There was no hope for it. It must be destroyed and made anew. The…the original Akatsuki members, Yahiko's recruits, I never saw them again. Of course not. All light in the world died with him." Konan could feel tears in her eyes, but her vision of Yahiko's lifeless body was as clear as ever. "It was…a relief to become only a tool. Many years passed. Members were recruited. They took orders from Pain and I. Nagato's front, Yahiko's body reanimated and controlled by rods because Nagato's own body was greatly damaged. We could pretend Yahiko was still with us, at least a little. He was still the face of the group. But his voice wasn't his own, it was Nagato's. And Nagato's words weren't his own, they were Madara's. And we pretended to give orders to Tobi, and he obeyed, but of course he did." She started to laugh. How ridiculous! A circle of absurdity!

The laughter cleared her vision. She opened her eyes to see the fire again. She smiled. "Eventually, as tools do, they break. Or else they become worn and useless. Nagato broke, and that was ideal. I became blunt. But I still held critical knowledge, so…" She felt no distress thinking of her death in these terms. Death was not distressing when thought of in the way that ninja thought of it. People were tools. When used up, they were cast aside and broken. Simple. Neutral. No emotion involved, just practicality. It all makes sense. There are no hard questions. I'd outlived my usefulness. That's all.

Eventually, she remembered that there were other people nearby. Her smile faded. She rubbed her eyes as if waking from a dream. "Who… Yahiko. That's right." She looked to her right.

Yahiko was white as a sheet and performing his best statue imitation. He tried to speak and could only manage a squeak. What distresses him? "Yahiko, what's wrong?" He squeaked again.

Slowly, she remembered where she was. A new world, with a new group. Innocent clones that knew little of the horrors of ninja. A world where every person was a treasured friend, and many non-persons too. Even the tools weren't just tools. She looked around and saw nothing but horror. Drip by drip, the horror she saw began to leak into her own heart. I was used.

"Jesus fucking Christmas," Kisame swore. "Holy shit."

"Well, that is the worst thing I've ever heard in my life," Itachi remarked.

"Same," Sasori agreed.

Nagato gave Konan a hug from her left side. Nobody else had a reaction. Or rather, too many reactions. All kinds of emotions flickered across their faces and all kinds of words tried to escape their lips, but none could. There was too much of a logjam. Every reaction ended up trapped inside.

"How the fuck did you look at him and speak straight?" White Zetsu eventually managed to ask.

Konan felt fingers around her throat again. So cruel. So hateful. "I have no idea."

"I'll…get something to eat," Deidara muttered. Waiting for him to bring out food was nice. It gave everyone time to decompress, unwind and function again.

Or in Konan's case, to wind back up. He twisted my mind, made everything seem one way and then another, wove a world before my eyes. Her vision narrowed again. She recognized it from times when she had pushed her body to the limit. She was going to fall unconscious.

Someone pulled her arm hard enough to make her stand up. "Come," Itachi spoke into her ear. She followed him, once more struggling to breathe. He killed me. Even the touch of the symbol of Jashin could not wash away the full horror. She lay down or was laid down, she did not know which, in the center of the symbol and closed her eyes.

Deidara

What have I done?

Deidara couldn't touch any of the things he brought out. As soon as he stopped moving and sat down again, he felt ready to throw up. He'd brought over some new friends. Just to mess with Kakuzu. That was all. He hadn't meant to bring over missing group members. He hadn't meant to introduce Konan to the man who had killed her. I fucked up.

"No worries, he's immortal," Nagato announced. Hidan lay in the grass, knocked out by the horror of Konan's story. He had chosen to sit apart from her so that he would not accidentally touch her, but it hadn't protected him.

"Fuck," Kisame whispered. "Goddamn shit." He had yet to stop cursing. Kakuzu put a hand on his shoulder, and that finally stopped it.

Itachi returned to the fire and resumed his former position. "I have some suspicions about Yahiko's original's suspiciously convenient death and the suspiciously convenient missing group members. But that can wait."

"You okay?" Yahiko asked the person who sat next to him.

That person took a deep breath. Deidara sweated through his shirt. When at last they spoke in Obito's voice, he was greatly relieved. "I… I feel…" Obito shook his head. "I'm okay."

White Zetsu held his hand. "Can you stand to hear any more?"

"I guess so?"

"Because we want to know everything she told you people about Madara," Black Zetsu said. They looked around the rest of the group. "She told you there was someone terrible from her world who might get cloned any day now, but not what his name was or what he looked like?"

"Correct," Kakuzu said. "She said he intended to take over and destroy her world. A manipulator, someone skilled at finding weak people and gaining power from the shadows."

"But also," Itachi interrupted, "determined to remake the world in order to bring back people that had been lost and prevent suffering from ever happening again. Someone stricken by grief, and in despair, turning to magic instead of taking the time to grieve and move on."

"I don't recall her mentioning any specific thing he might try to do," Kakuzu went on. "She was just worried that somehow, in some way, he would ruin this nice, peaceable mini-world we have here. Someone did think to ask what he would look like. She refused to say. She didn't want us to be prejudiced against a potentially innocent man. Instead, we made plans to visit all our friends and make sure they felt safe and cared for so there was nobody to take advantage of."

"She has never mentioned her death," Itachi added. "Nobody ever asked. It was assumed that would stay a secret, too hurtful to ever touch on."

Zetsu did not reveal what they thought of that. They must have been thinking furiously, but neither half showed anything. "What a sad story," White Zetsu said. "I totally get why she thought the world sucked. Who would want to live there? Ani, I'm so glad we live here instead."

"A world of people just as awful, but with magic? Yeah, I'd stay away from that hellhole too." Black Zetsu snorted.

"There's something else," Kakuzu said. Everybody looked at him. "She privately mentioned, to me and giving me permission to tell Itachi, that this group wasn't complete. That there were missing members she expected to show up any day now. She gave no indication of what they were like or how she felt about them. That girl is a master at compartmentalizing."

"Mhm." Black Zetsu, again, gave no indication of what he thought.

"Oh, nuts," Yahiko exclaimed. "I forgot to end the recording." He pressed a button on Itachi's phone and passed it back along the circle. "Sorry."

"It's alright." Itachi took his phone back but did not put it away. He kept it in his hand. "Yahiko, now that you are functional again, give some kind of order."

Everyone looked at Yahiko. Itachi turned on his phone and started texting while everyone was distracted. Deidara was sitting on Itachi's other side, so he noticed this. He could not quite see the name of Itachi's contact. He didn't dare ask. He felt too guilty about Itachi having to clean up his mess. I should think things through more, yeah. I make bad decisions.

"Uh…" Yahiko looked scared for a moment. Then his face cleared. "Well, we know why she has a problem with Tobi and Madara now. She never met Obito's original, so she should be okay around him. Uh, Tobi came out as soon as you saw the dolls. Did the dolls trigger him?"

"Yup," White Zetsu answered on Obito's behalf. "Cute things, shiny objects and balloons usually bring Tobi out."

"What about Madara?"

"Madara has no triggers," Black Zetsu replied. "There's no way to predict when he'll show up."

"Okay. I'll pass that on so she'll feel more comfortable being around Obito when there are no dolls nearby. She likes having information. Um… When she has a flashback about my original dying, she acts out and can get violent. But she had flashbacks just now, and didn't act out. Hidan's the most likely to know about her flashbacks, so Nagato, when he wakes up, ask him what the difference is."

Nagato turned and shook Hidan's shoulder. "Hidan, wake up." After more shaking, Hidan groaned. "We need to know what the difference is between Konan's Yahiko-related flashbacks and the ones she had just now." He looked up and explained, "I may not look like it, but I'm freaking out right now. I'm never going to remember that later."

Hidan groaned again. "Her other flashbacks 'nclude being tied up, tryin' to move but not bein' able to. This one just felt like seein' and hearin' shit. Ow." He rolled over and, with great effort, pushed himself up. "I need to go. Right now."

"Okay." Nagato helped him get to his feet and stagger away into the woods. When Hidan was gone from sight, he came back to the circle. He wrapped his arms around his knees. "He has a lake he goes to when he's picked up too much emotion."

Yahiko clapped his hands. "We know why Konan's acting the way she does. We can predict it and prepare for it. And… We know what Tobi and Madara's originals were like. They looked the same way they do now, and acted the same, but weren't actually people. That's really interesting and we can probably figure out more about how world cloning works from it. Um… And that's it. That's everything that's important." He looked around. "Everyone be nice to Konan. Give her space. Itachi, make a note so you remember to go back and think about how world cloning works. And that's everything!"

"Are you fucking serious?" Kisame asked.

"Uh, yeah? Why? Is there something I'm forgetting?"

Kisame made inarticulate sounds. Kakuzu sighed. "Aside from the bleeding -"

"He's right, actually," Sasori interrupted, raising his voice to do so. "He's completely correct. Remember how all of our originals were murderers? Mine turned himself into a literal puppet. Deidara's bombed the heck out of people. We are in no position to judge anybody. Her story changes nothing. We should behave just like we did before."

Kakuzu looked furious. Kisame looked betrayed. Samehada warbled cheerfully. Kisame looked at her, just as betrayed. Sasori picked up his empty plate - how the fuck can he eat? - and took it inside. Silence descended over the backyard.

"Should we tell Tobi and Madara what was said here?" Itachi asked. "Tobi had no knowledge of Kisame even though Obito had met him, so they likely have no awareness right now. Madara, I do not know about, but what Konan shared is very relevant to him."

"We'll handle that," White Zetsu said. Black Zetsu grunted in agreement. They nudged Obito's elbow before rising to their feet. "Good night!" They left the backyard, along with Obito.

"I guess that was less of a disaster than it could have been," Kisame muttered. "Still a disaster though."

"I wanted to ask more about Madara," Kakuzu growled at Yahiko. "How often does he appear? What does he want? Is there any way to manage him? Thanks to you, his next appearance is going to be a surprise ambush."

"Assuming those guys come back ever again," Kisame said. "Itachi, why the hell did you decide that dumping the whole 'other world' thing over their heads was a good idea?"

Itachi blinked. "Why wouldn't it be a good idea?"

"Because all they wanted to know was what we thought of Madara."

"Yes? Everything I had to say was relevant to that."

Kisame facepalmed. Kakuzu sighed in aggravation. Deidara gulped. He raised a hand. "I'm… I'm sorry, yeah."

"For what?" Itachi asked.

"Dei, it's not your fault," Kisame replied. "You had no idea that guy was responsible for Konan's death. She didn't tell us crap."

"I think she might have," Nagato said. "I remember now. She mentioned Tobi at the first funeral. Tobi, and Deidara, something about partners with different energy levels - oh, that makes sense! Did she mention Zetsu back then? She might have. Their name sounds like it might be a little familiar. But we wouldn't have noticed at the time."

"That doesn't fucking count," Kisame snapped. "I don't appreciate not being told shit. Kakuzu, why didn't you tell me? Itachi? You both knew that new people would be showing up out of the blue sometime soon and didn't tell me?"

"She asked us not to," Itachi said.

Yahiko tried to add, "And it makes sense why she didn't -"

"Fuck this shit!" Kisame stood up. "Same gets poisoned one day, and then a world-destroying megalomaniac that Konan knew all about but wanted to surprise us with for no goddamn reason appears the next. I am going the hell to bed. And I'm having words with…someone. Definitely someone." He stalked off. Samehada whined, but followed.

"He'll be okay, right?" Yahiko asked Itachi.

"He has some good points," Nagato said. "Konan's past is so horrible, and we hardly know any of it. What else can come forward into the present to haunt us?"

Yahiko looked hurt. "But that's no reason to be mean to anyone. She's been through a lot. Of course she can't face it all."

Kakuzu sighed. "Regardless, her secrets are dangerous to us."

"I am unclear on who is in charge right now," Itachi said. "Deidara, what do you think?"

All eyes fell on Dei. He looked down. "I wish I hadn't brought them here in the first place."

.

A/N: Eeeeeee I am enjoying this part of the story so much. It's moving. It's interesting. Stuff is happening. Just like in my actual life! Oh, everything is looking up lately. Everything's getting so much better. Aside from the stuff that's going on with my brother. But even in that situation, I must confess that I like helping people. So I'm actually enjoying helping him out, even if he only needs help because of something terrible. I'm easily the person least bothered by everything. I've already shifted into 'this is the new state of normal.' Of course, I'm sure it helps that my life has hardly changed.

Oh! That's right! Something I totally forgot to mention! (I think. I don't remember what I mentioned last week.) My self-insert fic has been entirely rewritten. It is now published, in its completion. 8 chapters. It takes place in the world of my favorite video game, so it's over in the Dragonfable section. In case nobody here cares enough to look it up, here's a summary of the revised version:

I, as myself, wake up in a fictional world with no idea how I got there or what's going on. Using my own talents and abilities, which consist mainly of finding help from the right people, I manage to get involved in the heroic, world-changing business of the plot, which at that point involves trying to stop the two antagonists from ending the world. I join the heroes to try to stop them peacefully, and we fail. Then, when all the rest of the heroes have given up on changing the main antagonist's mind and resolved to fight her and her general the old-fashioned way, I break with them. I don't give up. I get one last piece of assistance from the exact perfect person, the only person in the entire world who would be willing to help me get aboard the main antagonist's ship. Alone, with my only source of help being the main antagonist herself, I bare my soul, make myself completely honest and transparent, hoping that my bare soul possesses the power to save her. In an epic climactic moment with the fate of the world hanging in the balance, it works! But I do not realize it has. Before my character can get any indication that she is still alive and she changed her mind about ending the world, the other main antagonist, her general, appears. The only way that my character can prevent him from making his own entirely seperate effort to destroy the world is to return to my original world and take him with me. The story ends with my friends, the heroes, back in the game world, discussing how the main antagonist is still alive and the world is not over and what does this mean? They resolve dangling plot threads there. Then, in my world, in a hospital bed being treated for my numerous injuries, my character reflects on the general's fate and answers some questions from a police investigator. After the investigator leaves, I think about how it will be, returning to my old, confined life after having had an epic heroic adventure. It's going to be tough, since the people I know in my real life aren't nearly as supportive as the fictional characters were. The last lines of the story are quoted from the third stanza of a poem I love. They're about returning to a magic world. Returning home.

The original version of this same fic had zero character arc for me, was written purely for wish fulfillment, and riddled with mistakes and errors as a result. 5 out of the 8 chapters have extensive notes on what I changed and why - basically a breakdown of my entire revision process, and a thorough analysis of what the Mary Sue trope is and why you should not use it. They are meant to be educational to new writers. Any new writers reading this note, or anyone interested in the craft of writing even if you do not practice it, I recommend this fic to you even if you don't play Dragonfable just for the revision notes.

Writing a story where I do heroic stuff, go off on my own and get injured and face death and push myself past the limits of my capabilities, challenged me to think about who I really am and what I am really capable of. I believe that it helped me to write a story like that. I believe that the revision process and taking notes on it helped my writing. Everything that I aim to achieve is clearer to me now. That's why I'm describing it here. Writing two versions of a self-insert fic, one that is a demonstration of the worst of the self-insert genre and another that is a demonstration of the best of that genre, is a critical milestone event in my writing career. I can't believe that the writing and publishing of it is finally over. This has been a great past three months, and even though it is over and I have no plans for an epilogue, that story will always stay with me.

Stay snazzy!