A/N: I'm not sure if the events of this chapter correspond to things that happened recently or over the past months. It's unclear what's time delayed and what's not. But do I need to care? ...I think not.

What I said before about short chapters still stands. However, it is also true that with so many events to cover and so many characters, I will also need long chapters out of simple necessity. I might have super short chapters alternating with long chapters. The only thing that's clear is that medium length chapters won't cut it.

Anyway.

.

Kisame

Kisame dreamed of being a shark. He swam along in the ocean, or maybe it was a great big river. Either way, he felt strong and free. But then, he detected something following him. No matter how he swam, he couldn't shake his pursuer or even catch a glimpse of them. But his electroreceptors told him he was being followed, and that his pursuer was getting closer…and closer…

He woke up feeling just like he had in the dream. The unsettling sensation of something hovering around him, invisible and inescapable, followed him into his waking life. So this is what it's like to be haunted. He hoped the feeling would go away, but he didn't really expect that it would.

Hoping for a distraction, he watched Samehada asleep in her bed. She snored softly. It sounded faintly like purring. Her tail was securely wrapped around Solis, as usual. The doll was perfectly content and relaxed, as usual. Aside from occasionally turning his head to look around the room, he looked just like an ordinary nonliving doll. They looked so peaceful together. Mother and son. Kisame blinked. His heart beat faster. You know what? It's time. It is finally fucking time. He slid out from under the covers and crept across the floor to sit against the wall, at her side. He didn't say anything or touch Same in any way. He waited.

Eventually, Samehada opened her jaws in a great big yawn. She uncurled her tail and trilled, encouraging Solis to get up and go out into the world. He stood up and walked a few feet away, then turned around and tilted his head, watching them.

Kisame cleared his throat. "So, uh, Same. I wanted to talk with you about something."

Samehada lolled her tongue out. She looked happy.

Kisame summoned up all of his courage. He really didn't want to broach this kind of topic. He would much rather have left it to someone else. But he had done that before, and it didn't work, and it made him a bad friend. Come on. I can do this. I have to do this. "So, uh… After the poisoning, at the vet's, uh… They really had to check to make sure you were okay, that you weren't getting organ failure or anything like that."

Samehada whined and licked his cheek. She probably thought he was stressed out of concern for her.

Kisame gently pushed her away. "They, uh… Well, no one's ever taken that close a look at you before. And you aren't physically like other sharks at all. So…"

Samehada made confused sounds. He was going to have to come right out and say it. Goddammit, stop being such a wuss!

"It was a surprise to me when the vets told me you were female." Kisame's entire body froze. He couldn't pull his gaze off the bed. He couldn't move. His chakra withdrew inward, curling up like a mouse shivering in its burrow, and he couldn't stop it. He was caught in the grip of panic. He couldn't even think. All he could do was wait.

Samehada chirred in confusion. Then she detected his chakra and immediately went into comfort mode, whining in distress and crawling into his lap to soothe him. Kisame squeezed his eyes shut and trembled. Why am I so terrified? It felt as if, by speaking honestly, he'd torn his own heart out of his chest and thrown it onto a table to be assaulted by splinters and germs and whatever else wanted to take advantage of raw, unprotected flesh.

It took a long, long time for Samehada to bring him back from the depths of terror. He wrapped his arms around her, partly as a hug but mostly just to prevent himself from being able to see her. "I - you - dammit!" Stop being such a friggin' coward! But no amount of yelling at himself worked. Telling himself to stop being a coward did not give him courage. He groaned. "Fuck."

Samehada whined and licked his neck. Tears came to his eyes. His instinct was to repress them, but he remembered having heard something about channeling energy via emotions. Perhaps trying to channel some kind, any kind, of energy would give him courage. He thought about all the ways he'd let Samehada down. Sadness came to him eagerly. He soon found himself drowning in it. The feeling of drowning was frightening, so he clung to the words he half-remembered hearing, trusting that his friends knew what they were talking about.

After some time, the worst of it passed. Sadness continued to flow through him, but in the form of a dull ache in his chest and a desire to hold and be held. He stroked Samehada's scales. "I always… I made myself think you were male. Because that was more comfortable. I didn't really want to think about if you weren't. That would have raised the possibility that we could have some other kind of relationship, which would have called into question my relationships with sharks in general, which would have forced me to talk about all sorts of things that I didn't want to talk about. I've been hurting you with my own insecurities. Dammit."

Samehada made a confused sound again. He didn't know what she was confused about. The possibilities were too numerous. "It's time. I'd better face the fact that you're female, and deal with it, and if that means asking some hard questions, so be it." Kisame let her go. When she was in her bed again and he could look at her, he did so. He glanced to his right; Solis was still there. "You like taking care of the dolls, and Ducky. Is that maternal instinct? Do you…want to be a mom?" Another spasm of panic went through him. He gasped for breath.

Samehada licked his face. Then she curled up and made thinking sounds. After a while, she made another confused sound and wiggled a bit in what looked like a shrug. "You don't know? Okay. Um… Well, Solis does seem to be a - a son to you."

Samehada warbled happily and went over to Solis. She wrapped herself around him and licked his plushy head all over. Solis waved his arms happily. Samehada purred.

What else? Keep going, dammit. Kisame took a deep breath. "You do a good job taking care of kids, Same. You would… If you ever wanted to… You'd be a great mom." He fought back the rising tide of panic. "Same, do you… Do you want a mate? A family?" It engulfed him. He started to shake all over, and he couldn't look at her anymore. He waited for her answer.

When he heard her approach, he closed his eyes. He couldn't look. Mustn't look. Some nameless, shapeless dread that he couldn't remember the origins of wrapped itself around his heart and squeezed. This was the unknown pursuer. This was the ghost that hovered in the air. The phantom took hold of his body and whispered to him words that he didn't quite hear. Kisame didn't know what it wanted. He had never been able to do anything on its command, only to stop doing things, because he didn't know what it wanted.

Samehada licked his cheek softly, then nuzzled him. At her touch, Kisame started to hear bits and pieces of the phantom's voice. His fear was beginning to speak to him. After so long wondering why he was a paranoiac, he could finally get an answer. Kisame was so focused on his fear that he was startled to feel tears trickling down his face again. Sadness? Why had that come back? Was his fear allied with sadness? How could that be?

Samehada kept nuzzling his cheek, rumbling softly. Sometimes one of her teeth brushed against his skin. He shivered. Don't - A snippet of the phantom's voice became clear. Kisame strained to hear more. Another tooth brushed against his skin. - they will - He burned with curiosity. What was it? What? What was the reason for his fear?

Samehada stopped nuzzling him. She drew back. Kisame's heart continued to beat strangely. He still felt like shivering. Electricity danced up and down his back. Don't leave me, Same.

- they will -

I need you.

- can't trust -

I love you.

Samehada pressed the very edge of her mouth against his lips.

It took Kisame a few seconds to realize she was trying to kiss him. He kissed her back, opening his eyes slightly so that he could guide his face along the edges of her mouth. As he kissed her scales, the strangling phantom whispered, They abandoned their home once. They will do the same to you. You can't trust them. You must look elsewhere.

Kisame stopped what he was doing and laughed. It was a choking laugh, half composed of sadness. After several seconds of this, Samehada began to whine fearfully, but he couldn't stop. The irony was too great.

When at last he stopped laughing, he wiped his face with one sleeve. "You're not going to fucking believe this, Same."

She made a questioning sound.

"I've been living my life by paranoia this whole time. But the thing is, I couldn't hear what my paranoia was telling me. Turns out that every single damn time I thought I listened to it, I actually did the opposite of what it wants." Kisame took a deep breath. "My family left the little seaside village they'd come from, left their extended clan, and didn't pass on any stories. They abandoned their own origins. My paranoia was trying to tell me that people who will abandon themselves will do the same to me. I can't rely on my own family for anything. I have to leave and find some other family, people who won't abandon themselves, who can be trusted." His smile faded. "But… I didn't hear that because I didn't want to hear it." Sadness blurred his vision again. "I won't abandon myself, which means I won't abandon my origins. But my origins were fucking taken from me. Walking away from the family I was born into means giving up on rescuing parts of me that they fucking stole."

Now that the problem was clearly presented, its solution was obvious. No longer did he have to grope around blindly, hoping to accidentally do something right. Kisame looked down at his knees. "I have to figure out if I can rescue any of those parts. And anything I can't…I just have to walk away from. I'm not ever going to find out how my folks lived in human society as half-shark people, for example. I'm not going to get an answer to that. Any life advice I hoped to get, I just have to give up on." His heart clenched. How can I just give up? How can I just walk away? I am not like that. I am loyal. I don't abandon anyone who matters to me. Kisame bared his teeth. Other people turned my own best qualities against me, turning my strengths into my own prison bars. Fuck that! Fuck them! How could he break free from his own sense of loyalty? He certainly didn't want to stop being a loyal person, but then how could he escape?

Samehada nudged his shoulder repeatedly, making encouraging sounds. Kisame stood up. Perhaps he could ask someone: one of the trustworthy people he had access to now. I'm gonna have to thank Konan for dragging me into this. Shit. He chuckled at the thought. Samehada and Solis followed him as he went down the hall to knock on Hidan's door.

"C'min," Hidan muttered from inside. Kisame entered the room to find him sprawled on the floor looking absolutely exhausted. "I only said that 'cause I don't wanna talk too much through the door," Hidan drawled. "I'm tired, and my own fucking issues are getting set off, so I'm not in a nice neutral mindset right now. Go somewhere else."

Solis sat on his chest, volunteering to be a therapy doll. Kisame and Samehada left the room. "Great. Who else can I ask to teach me how to escape from myself?"

He heard a clatter from the kitchen. He found Yahiko and Nagato mixing up ingredients for some kind of baking project. "Kisame, we're making pies to try and restore group harmony," Yahiko said. "Pies are what people eat at Thanksgiving, and they're what grandmas make for visiting grandchildren, so they're a family sort of dessert. I think eating pie will help everybody feel better. Do you want to…" His voice trailed off as he remembered that Kisame was the one group member left who hadn't joined officially. "I mean, you don't have to…"

"No, that sounds great," Kisame muttered. I never visited my grandmother. I never had that. "What kind is it?"

Yahiko grinned. "We're just making the dough for the crusts. I was gonna decide on the fillings later."

Kisame joined them in mixing up, kneading and shaping lumps of pie dough. At some point, he thought to ask why Nagato was there. "Being able to physically help someone made me feel better before," Nagato replied. "It got me out of my own head. Yahiko expects it to help me again." The redhead still looked sad, but his movements as he kneaded the dough were strong and purposeful. He didn't seem like he would yell at anyone or storm away anytime soon.

Connecting with my body? Will that help? Kisame didn't see how baking would fix the ghastly, warped, misshapen mess his loyalty had been twisted into, but connecting with his senses had helped him before. Like Nagato said, maybe what had helped him once would help him again. And he knew exactly who to thank for introducing him to that method.

"I think Same and I are dating now," he muttered.

Nagato and Yahiko stopped moving. "Really?!" Yahiko squealed. He cried out in joy. He put down the bowl he was carrying and gave Kisame a hug. Kisame let him.

It's time. It's finally fucking time. Kisame grinned as he mentally pictured himself in an Akatsuki cloak. He wondered if he would look just as intimidating as Kakuzu.

Kakuzu

Kakuzu forcibly gathered Itachi and Konan and led them out the front doors to a patch of grass. The fact that Konan allowed him to do this indicated great trust in him. He considered himself smart for having made plans that would not strain that trust in any way. In fact, hopefully they would increase it.

Itachi sighed as they sat down. "Kakuzu, it is quite early."

"Yeah, well, tough luck. The situation is getting unstable and we need to make sure our footing's secure." Kakuzu crossed his arms. "What happened last night isn't like anything that's happened in our group therapy sessions before. We also have no idea what is going on with Zetsu and the rest. And I want to double check the balance of gods in this area. We all know what the last unexpected fluctuation resulted in."

"I can assist," Konan replied. "Hidan has been meeting with Obito and Zetsu. He and Obito bonded over their shared frustrations, as they both lack control over their other selves. Then he paid them a second visit, yesterday, in which he revealed his other self to Madara. He does not have great feelings of terror or anguish, so it could not have been a disaster, but he does have some lingering regret. He only mentioned Madara, but presumably Zetsu was there as well. Who knows how they are reacting to seeing the other one in person."

"Most of this group hasn't even seen him that way," Kakuzu muttered. "That was a stupid and risky move. Why did he do it?"

"He was desperate for acceptance."

"Why not go to someone else? Someone who's already decided to stay on his side?"

Konan tilted her head. "I think that is precisely why he went to Madara. Anyone else that he could have gone to would have been restrained. He wouldn't know if their reaction was genuine or if they were masking their feelings out of a sense of loyalty or common decency. Madara lacks both loyalties and a sense of common decency. Any lack of fear or lack of outright disdain he demonstrates is a true lack, not artificially created."

"Hidan can tell what people's real feelings are."

"Not quite. His power allows him to share in the things that other people consciously experience. He cannot magically divine what another person is not allowing themself to feel."

Kakuzu narrowed his eyes. "If he detects something with his power, he knows for sure that it's accurate information. But if he fails to detect something, he could just be getting a false negative. Hmph. I knew there had to be a flaw somewhere."

"That makes our information on Obito and Zetsu's opinions of us so outdated as to be useless. We must gather more information immediately," Itachi said.

Konan nodded. "Who knows what they think of us now. As for the other matters that Kakuzu raised: I have identified a distinct problem at their core. Our communication is breaking down again. I was not told things that I should have been told. I intend to send another reminder via the group chat and via personal visits that I must be kept up to date on our activities."

Kakuzu nodded. "I wasn't happy to be surprised at last night's meeting either. But speaking of the group chat, now that Nagato has returned and has access to his own damn phone, do we still want Jiraiya to have knowledge of all our activities? He is not a member."

Konan waved a hand. "Jiraiya's presence was crucial to Nagato when he was vulnerable. Nagato still is vulnerable. If Jiraiya is to be removed from our communication channel, it should happen later. Nothing can be decided now."

"As for the balance of gods, how can we possibly check that? We have no ability to detect the gods without having our souls separated from our bodies," Itachi said. "But the demons in town do have such an ability. We must speak with them."

The three of them fell to planning. They discussed how to reinitiate contact with the demons, how to arrange a meeting, whether to arrange a meeting or just text (they decided in-person would be better), who to send (Sasori, obviously), and other details. Just as they were voting on a choice of location, their phones buzzed. Konan immediately tabled the vote and checked the group chat. "Yahiko has sent a message," she murmured, her brows furrowed. "It must be of great importance. His first message says, 'NOBODY freak out. This is an order. Everyone be chill. Take fifteen minutes at minimum before you say anything.'" As she read that, another message came through. Her eyes bulged and the rest of her face went deathly still. "'Kisame has decided to get a cloak.'"

Itachi's mouth fell open. Kakuzu crossed his arms extra tight to avoid looking vulnerable. Konan lowered her phone, visibly in shock. "Itachi…" she whispered.

Itachi's eyes began to dart around. "Perhaps great conflict is really a sign of great progress," he said. "Much change has happened, leading to parts that were not fully accepted becoming integrated at long last. Did not we have a moment of confusion last night over Samehada's role, confusion that was remedied? She and Kisame were the last ones not to be fully accepted and understood. If now they are in place, that is a good sign."

"You see progress, I see more instability," Kakuzu said. "Now I have a fourth question. What's going on with Kisame and how do we account for it?"

"That one, at least, is easy to answer," Itachi said while standing up. "Just ask him. I cast my vote for the park."

Kakuzu and Konan ended up agreeing. "So we're sending Sasori to meet demons in the park," Kakuzu summarized. "When?"

"That part depends on the demons' response to our request," Konan replied. "Itachi has the ability to contact them. We must follow him."

They caught up to Itachi on the back porch. Nagato was also there. He asked if Yahiko had gathered them. Yahiko was in a frenzy trying to restore group harmony, it seemed. Samehada warbled cheerfully as he said that, presumably agreeing. Kisame chuckled softly.

Kakuzu crossed his arms and stood strong. "Itachi, we need you to message your demon friend and tell them we want to send Sasori to meet them in the park. Ask them when they would like to do this."

"We are looking to gather information on the balance of deities in this area," Itachi explained while complying.

"Oh, that's a good idea," Nagato said. "Yahiko thinks whatever god or collection of gods he's associated with is getting stronger."

"Have you gone yet?" Kisame asked. "Before the dough-making?"

"No. Not yet." Nagato's brow furrowed. "But I do feel better. He helped me, just like he said he would. Just like he always does."

"Yahiko's efforts to restore group harmony are proving successful, it seems," Konan said while sitting beside Kisame. "Kisame, what is this I hear about a cloak?"

Samehada chirped and trilled, waving her tail excitedly. Itachi scooted away to give her room. "Yeah. I think it's time," Kisame said. "I've, uh, made amends with my paranoia. I know that sounds nuts, but my fear and I are, like, at peace now. Ugh." He grimaced.

"No, it sounds perfectly reasonable," Itachi said. "How did you make amends with your paranoia, and what does this have to do with getting a cloak?"

"Well, before, I could tell that my paranoia wanted me to distrust something, but I couldn't tell what, so I distrusted everything. Same helped me to listen closer. I learned that my paranoia specifically wanted me to distrust my birth family and look for other people to trust. So by distrusting everyone, I was actually doing the opposite of what it wanted."

Itachi tilted his head. "Your birth family is no longer involved in your life."

"I can't stop thinking about them," Kisame confessed. "Why the hell do I have to figure out what being half shark means all by myself? Why do I have to figure out how to live all by myself? Why did I have to discover long-lost family, again, all by my friggin' self? I am fucking furious about all of that."

"You have every right to be," Itachi murmured sadly. "But there's a limit to the answers you can get, and asking these questions costs you. When the costs outweigh the benefits, you should consider letting them go."

"What are you, Hidan? And yeah, that's the conclusion I reached." Kisame sighed. "So anyway, that's what this is all about. I trust you guys, and it turns out that my paranoia is actually okay with me doing that. I don't have to struggle anymore to… To get along here."

"That leaves me," Nagato said. "I know that technically, I was one of the first to get a cloak. But I didn't make my own decision. I just followed Yahiko. I want to have a second chance."

"Granted," Itachi replied immediately. He blinked, then turned to Konan. "At least, I think so."

Konan nodded. "Yes, of course."

Kakuzu sighed. He was the only person on the porch not sitting. He leaned against the wall, thinking, More instability. Just when it seemed like everything was going well.

"Hey, what are you looking so grumpy for?" Kisame asked. His smile indicated he was only teasing.

"I don't like instability. It reminds me that this world we are trapped in is subject to the passing whims of a head case."

"Hey!" Nagato said, gesturing towards Konan.

Konan didn't seem offended, but perhaps Kakuzu just couldn't read her face well enough to tell if she was. "That reminds me. I ought to inform others, as I wish others to inform me, of upcoming plans. Today I will be seeing a medical professional to acquire mind medicine."

"Oh thank fuck," Kisame breathed.

"Well, all seeing a doctor will do is get you a prescription. It still takes several days for a prescription to be filled," Kakuzu muttered. "But congratulations." Another change, but for the better. And Kisame getting a cloak is good, too. Perhaps I am overreacting.

Itachi smiled. "It is as I thought. Great conflict is a sign of great progress. Things are getting better."

Kisame described the pie-making operation and how it was going. Just as he began to brainstorm possible filling options, Yahiko appeared with Sasori and a reluctant-looking Deidara. "Great!" Yahiko exclaimed. "Almost everyone's here! I couldn't find Hidan anywhere, but I'm not worried about him. He's probably in the lake anyway."

"I'd say so," Kisame agreed. "Hey, Dei. I have some more questions. What exactly were you so grumpy about last night? You passed it off to Sasori, but he didn't say a damn thing."

"Because it's not any of my business and I don't think I understand it anyway," Sasori said while elbowing Kakuzu. Kakuzu finally sat, some distance away from the others. The porch was getting crowded.

"Want a sideways hug?" Yahiko asked while offering his arm.

"You're excessively cheerful, yeah," Deidara told him. "It's obvious you're compensating for something, man."

"Yes, I'm secretly very scared," Yahiko said with a smile. "I'm in need of comforting touch myself, so I go around offering it to everyone I can reach."

"Fine, I guess," Deidara said with a shrug. He allowed Yahiko to put an arm around his shoulders and curled up, hugging his knees. "I just…really don't know what I'm doing with my life. I have stuff I should be doing, which I'm not any good at. And I have other stuff that I might want to do, except look how terribly that turned out…"

"In the past," Sasori objected. "Before this story even began. Your memories of fighting in a war are false memories, Dei. Your original hadn't died yet. You didn't exist yet."

"So what if they were just made up and put in my head? They're still my memories, yeah. And it's true that I can't go around blowing things up. It's dangerous!"

Sasori looked conflicted. "I don't understand what it is with you and blowing things up, but I do understand that it makes you happy. And you could use more of that. Honestly, after yesterday…"

He didn't finish the sentence. "What?" Deidara snapped.

"I'm worried that you might snap if you don't," Sasori said carefully. "You looked angry. I'd rather you were blowing things up while happy than blowing things up while angry. The second seems much more likely to result in harm."

Deidara snarled. "I don't know, okay? I don't know about blowing things up. I could figure something out, I guess. Just… I don't wanna think about it now. Leave me alone."

"Deidara…" Nagato said, looking worried. "Do you…want to come with me and Yahiko to the stingray pool?"

"That place is especially good at helping one recover from events long in the past," Konan added.

"I'm still confused, but I don't think I'm gonna get a coherent answer with him in this state," Kisame said to nobody in particular. "Sounds like a good plan to me." Samehada nodded.

"You don't have to worry," Yahiko said quickly while taking his arm back. "It's not the same energy as Jashin sama has. It's not super active, it won't compel you to do things, nothing like that. It feels like being held."

"Fine," Deidara mumbled.

Kakuzu cleared his throat. "Ahem." When the others looked at him, he said, "While you're out there, keep an eye out for our newly-discovered group members. Hidan's been secretly meeting with them, affecting their view of us, so we need to gather updated information on their opinions and such."

Yahiko smiled. "Will do! What sorts of meetings?"

Konan narrowed her eyes. "Zetsu has seen Hidan's other self. Tread carefully."

Yahiko grew more serious. "Will do."

Deidara sighed. "I'm with Kakuzu, yeah. I don't like so much instability and change. I just want life to be nice and normal."

Kisame laughed. "That was never a fucking option."

Deidara didn't say anything more. He just uncurled, allowing Samehada access to him. The shark came over to lick his face gently. "Do you want to, or…?" Yahiko asked Kisame.

"I guess me and Same are dating now," Kisame muttered. "Though I don't know what that means. We always were cuddly. I'll just be more aware of…various things."

"Thoughts alone are important," Itachi said. "That will make a great difference."

"You know, I'm starting to come around on that."

Deidara

Deidara, Nagato and Yahiko set off towards the aquarium. Deidara sat in the back seat of their car, lost in thought. I can't just blow stuff up. I can't. It hurts people. I'm never going to be able to not think of hurt people. How can I enjoy things mindlessly when every time I do, I forget something important?

"Do you have a shift today?" Nagato asked.

Honestly, it's nice to forget. It's nice in the moment. But afterward, when I come back to the real world, I always feel so bad. I kinda wish I could stay in that explosion-space.

"Dei?"

Deidara blinked. "Huh?"

"Do you have a shift today?"

Deidara's gut soured. All of a sudden, he felt off. He knew he wasn't sick, but his body did an excellent imitation of all the symptoms. Ah, fuck it. He pulled out his phone and punched in a number from his contacts. "Hey, it's Deidara. I'm not feeling good, yeah. My stomach's jumping, I feel hot, I'm tired even though I just woke up. Think I'm coming down with something, yeah." A pause. "I don't know about tomorrow. I guess I'll keep you posted." He hung up. Because that's the best anyone can do in this miniworld. Keep people posted. There's nothing reliable anywhere.

"Are you actually feeling all those things?" Nagato asked. Yahiko was the one driving.

"Yeah."

"Oh. Sorry."

The rest of the drive was conducted in awkward silence. They pulled into the aquarium's parking lot, got out of the car and walked inside. "I brought money for stingray treats, so it's not like we're taking advantage of this place," Yahiko muttered. Neither Nagato nor Deidara cared, though the mention of taking advantage reminded Deidara of everything he had just been thinking about, everything that put him in such a bad mood. When they came to a rounded pool of water and Yahiko stopped to talk to a staff member, Deidara was in such a foul mood that he wondered if he would be able to contaminate the place. Once that idea got in his head, he felt bad for being there. But if he left, Nagato and Yahiko would be so disappointed. Obligation kept him rooted to the spot. Knowing this, in turn, made him even more upset. I hate the world. I hate everything.

Yahiko handed him and Nagato treats. Nagato took a deep breath. "Time to try the magic." He didn't move until Deidara went with him. They approached the pool together.

Deidara scattered a few treats over the surface and watched a stingray race up to catch them. "It works best if you put your hand in the water," Yahiko chirped. God, he was so chirpy today! I hate him. Wait, what? I can't hate him. Fuck, I'm so sick and tired of being told what I can or can't do! I hate all that shit! Deidara waited until the stingray passed, then jabbed his hand straight into the water as if he was trying to break its throat.

The water was not harmed, of course. It flowed around and encircled his hand without the slightest offense or insult. Deidara felt the power in it immediately. Tears came to his eyes. His heart clenched tighter, and all his symptoms of illness returned. He felt worse, not better. That didn't seem to make any sense.

Nagato put a hand in the water, too. He sobbed. "It feels like forgiveness."

Deidara watched a stingray come near. It brushed against the palm of his hand. Against the nonexistent lips of his hand-mouth. Its smoothness made him shiver. He didn't know how to describe what the pool felt like.

Nagato sniffled. "I…I feel better." He kept his hand in the water, petting stingray after stingray and feeding them treats with his other hand. When he ran out, he put that hand in the water too.

Deidara could hardly hold the treats because he didn't want to risk his hand-mouth accidentally swallowing one. If they even could swallow. I hate these things! He noticed that, unlike his bitter thoughts before, this one had a distinctly whiny quality to it. It sounded like a toddler having a tantrum. I hate my hand-mouths. I hate being a freak. I just… I don't wanna… I don't… I don't wanna! He closed his eyes and imagined himself shrinking down until he was only 3 feet tall, barely out of toddlerhood. I. Don't. Wanna.

As another stingray brushed against his palm, the pool seemed to be telling him, You don't have to.

The anger and irritation left him. Suddenly, he wanted to collapse. All the symptoms of illness were still present. They commanded him to go straight to the nearest bed. He wasn't ill, but his body certainly had something it wanted to say. Deidara opened his eyes again and looked into the water. It continued to circle calmly. How could he have worried that he might contaminate it? He didn't have that power. Any harm he thought he caused was only temporary. It could be mended, or it could be the start of something new. Either way, it was alright.

Nagato laughed. Deidara finally understood what he was laughing about. The pool did feel like forgiveness, after all.

.

A/N: Ninja business should be upcoming at some point. I feel it. Talk therapy alternating with action, action, action. Yeah. That's what this is or should be about.

Anyway. More next week. (I feel oddly impatient...)