A/N: Hahahaha. HAHAHAHA!
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Yahiko
The strange gut-sinking feeling continued to haunt him. Yahiko found himself walking faster than everyone else, making them pick up the pace. At first, he felt bad. But after only ten minutes, the guilt went away. He didn't have time to be feeling guilty for making his friends walk fast. Something much, much worse was happening.
Konan was there when they returned to the base. She swooped down from the sky and met them on the front lawn. "A patrol reveals nothing," she informed him. "I have gotten in touch with nearly all members. Nobody has anything to report. I cannot get in touch with Hidan. He must still be in the lake."
In the lake. Yahiko swallowed. "I think that's what I'm sensing. It has something to do with him."
"Do you sense it now as strongly or directly as you did at first?" Konan asked. Yahiko shook his head. "I suspected you wouldn't. You detected whatever it was at a moment of peak connection. Hidan, too, is at maximum connection with Jashin sama right now. That might be how you learned of it."
"Yahiko says he's getting a very specific feeling, but he can't describe precisely what it is," Nagato said.
Konan sent a quick text. Itachi was there in less than a minute. He joined them all sitting down in a patch of shade. "What is needed?" Itachi asked. Konan repeated Nagato's description. "Tell me as much as you can."
Yahiko shook his head. In the intervening minute, he had tried to open up his connection in the hopes of learning more. "We don't have time for this. It doesn't matter. What matters is…" He closed his eyes and concentrated. "What matters is gathering together and… And we need to do something."
"What should we -"
"The sort of thing that people do when they gather together!" Yahiko jumped to his feet. His hands balled into fists. How can they not see it? How can they not understand? "The dough must have chilled enough by now. Let's finish that. Obviously."
Perhaps he was connecting to Jashinist energy, because Yahiko could not stop himself from erupting into a frenzy of activity. He issued orders, commanding various people to help him with the pies as needed. Obito stayed in the room but uninvolved, and Zetsu helped. When the pies were baking, he asked someone else to watch them and left. He took Konan's origami frog from her room and placed it on the rock that had once held flowers, with the three little symbols spread out before it. There, he found the demon boy, whose eyes glittered with excitement. The demon boy made illusory flowers bloom again and promised that no wind nor surprise rain would disturb the origami frog. Yahiko nodded, then raced off to do various other chores. He checked and replaced items in the training rooms. He vacuumed. He planned out dinner. He took a shower, and afterwards he not only brushed and combed his hair neatly but also applied skin cleansers, asked Nagato to give his hair a trim, and after much pacing realized he needed to wear makeup. It took 15 minutes of pacing to realize that because he never would have entertained the idea of wearing makeup in his male form before. It would have been impossible. But now, not only was it possible to dress himself up while in his male form, but he absolutely had to. He knew that he must do it, and he knew just as surely that he must remain in male form. Using Transformation Jutsu was the impossible thing now. What is happening to me? It felt like his head was clearer than it had ever been, but he also knew he was acting very unlike himself.
Nagato commented on it. He broke off his conversation with Obito to walk up and say, "Hey. Nice, um, eyeshadow. You wouldn't usually wear that in this form."
"I know," Yahiko told him. "But I don't have time for that. Endless worrying and fretting is such a waste of time and energy. It's really pathetic. I have more important things to be doing."
"Time spent thinking clearly is never time wasted," Nagato said. It was a piece of advice from a book they had loved as children. Yahiko stopped fidgeting. "What do all these important things have in common?"
"Being ready," Yahiko said.
"Ready for someone to come visit?"
"Kind of, but not quite. Just…ready."
"Alright," Nagato said soothingly. "If those are the sorts of things you need, then let's think of what else we could do that meets the criteria. We can assemble firewood so it's all ready to be lit. Konan can text the vampires. Do you want her to invite them? Tell them to stay away?"
"Just as long as they don't interfere," Yahiko said, running a shaking hand through his hair. "I really don't need any more trouble." He tried to take deep breaths, but they were fast and shaky and made him feel lightheaded. He returned to gasping for air in a shallow manner. It felt like he was sinking, drowning. Like… Like… I still can't describe what it's like, but I'm so close! He sobbed. It was a surprise sob. No tears accompanied it, and it wasn't followed by any more sobs. It was just a signal of what was to come.
"Maybe the important thing you need to do now is rest," Nagato said. "Come on. Hang out with Obito in the sunroom. It's sunny and warm in there right now. I'll take care of making the whole base presentable."
If Obito objected to being drafted, he didn't say so. Yahiko let Nagato lead him away. Zetsu, as always, caught up to them. Yahiko stopped just outside the sunroom. He turned to Zetsu and asked, "Why are you here?" Woah, I sound harsh.
Zetsu was taken aback. "Uh…"
"You don't need to be. Go away."
Black Zetsu's eyes narrowed. They didn't seem convinced. But then Obito turned to them and nodded. White Zetsu looked hurt. They backed away without a word.
Why didn't I want Zetsu to be here with us? Yahiko wondered that as he watched Obito investigate the sunroom. He didn't regret speaking, as harsh as he had been. Something told him he did not need lots of company right now. One person, and one person alone, was all that he could stand. One person that he could fully trust. I just don't know Zetsu well enough. Technically I don't know Obito any better, but somehow I feel as if I've known him my whole life. What's up with that? I don't care. I need him right now.
Obito was awkward, as usual. "Nice chair," he murmured. "Um…"
"Yeah, it is a nice chair," Yahiko mumbled back. "Obito?"
"Yes?"
"Please tell me everything's gonna be alright."
Obito shifted, looking unsure. "Everything's gonna be alright."
"No, like you mean it."
Obito held his own hands. He really didn't know what to do. I'm probably scaring him. Yahiko felt a little bad, but not enough to back down. He certainly wasn't going to apologize. He waited for Obito to get over it. Eventually, Obito did. He waved a hand at the carpet, indicating that they should sit. They sat. Obito faced Yahiko and held one of his hands. "Everything's gonna be alright."
Yahiko grinned. Perfect! "Thank you."
"Why'd you want me to…"
"I don't know, but I feel better."
Yahiko didn't have anything more to ask, so they simply sat together. The silence felt comfortable and familiar. Eventually, he realized why it felt familiar. This is how it feels when Sasori and I hang out! But now, I'm Sasori. I'm the calm one! This thought brought tears to his eyes, because it meant that he was capable of helping others who were like him. He could make other people who felt like a burden release their worries. That was what he had always wanted to do, more than anything.
"Are you okay?" Obito asked.
Yahiko turned to him with a smile. "Yeah. I'm okay."
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As the sun finally got low enough to justify meeting for dinner, Yahiko got a feeling like he had forgotten something. But it was a good kind of forgetting, like he needed to forget whatever it was. His heart beat fast as he sat next to the origami frog, because he knew that remembering would be painful. The demon boy's incessant giggling only confirmed it. The snake boy sat against the rock, sucking on the tail of his stuffed toy snake.
Macaroni and cheese was served. Broccoli was also served, with an extra-large portion for Yahiko. Deidara announced that he had gone out to purchase ice cream, so there was ice cream to be had along with pie for dessert. Zetsu ate a giant bunless hamburger instead, looking perfectly happy. It was as close to perfect as any dinner could be. There was only one thing missing.
"It doesn't usually take Hidan this long," Kakuzu said as the yard filled with shadows. "He's been gone literally the whole day."
"Maybe it's because of the thing Yahiko sensed," White Zetsu said.
"Should we look for him?" Nagato asked. Almost everybody had long since finished their dinner. They were waiting for Hidan to come back before they started on dessert, but he hadn't come.
Yahiko was still struggling to get through his dinner. His stomach felt tight. He shook his head. "Hidan's always fine."
"Okay… If you say so."
The clouds above their heads turned golden orange. The trees began to whisper in a cool breeze. Shadows stretched, and many members of the group began to glance at them. What might they contain?
"I just want to clarify that I'm not remotely mad," Kisame said. His cloak fit him well. He was unbothered by the breeze, and he looked unbothered by anything. In his normal clothes he often seemed weighed down by some secret worry, but in the cloak, he looked trouble-free.
"Thanks," Nagato said. "Whatever's going on is enough to worry about. Guilt for upstaging someone else's big achievement would be too much."
"Which is why I don't have any," Yahiko said. He forced down the last bite of his food. "Okay, universe. I'm ready."
Many people held their breath, but nothing happened. The air continued to cool. Itachi cleared his throat. "Since we appear to have time, we should use it to properly honor Kisame's achievement. For those who don't know, Kisame was the last of our members to get the group uniform. He has struggled with fear, paranoia and an excessive need for certainty. At last, he is free of those worries."
Nagato clapped. "You look really good in it, Kisame."
"Very intimidating when you stand," Kakuzu added.
Kisame grinned. "Heh, just like I hoped. Thanks."
Itachi turned to Obito and Zetsu. "We made a new set of house rules. If you expect to spend any time here in the future, we should show them to you. But there's no need to decide anything now."
Konan glanced at the demon boy. "How far away is he?"
"Not far." The demon boy resumed giggling for several seconds, then turned into a flock of owls and lifted up into the trees. The snake boy stopped sucking on his toy snake and went over to Samehada, who licked his head and whined. The shark turned to Kisame and whined several more times.
"She's been freaking out all day," Kisame said. "Maybe she can sense what you can, Yahiko."
Samehada shook her head. "Oh, that's not it?" She whined again and frantically nuzzled the snake boy. "Uh… Sorry, I don't think I can guess it. My mind must be frazzled because of whatever's going on."
"Is this normal?" Black Zetsu asked. "For you people to know that something important is happening, but not what?"
"Yeah, pretty normal," Deidara replied.
Meanwhile, Nagato rubbed Yahiko's back. Sasori sat on his other side, looking sympathetic. Yahiko discovered that he was able to take a deep breath. He really was ready. He smiled and nodded at Nagato. I can handle it. I am strong.
Since they all had their ears peeled, they heard distant footsteps. About a minute later, Hidan appeared. "Oh shit," he said. His face was pale and twitchy. He looked badly frightened. He muttered something under his breath and turned away, going back into the dark forest to retrieve something.
He laid four dolls down in the grass.
Everybody stared for several seconds. The dolls did not move. They lay limply, just like their cousins, even when Samehada whined. "They followed me to the lake," Hidan said, his voice choked by grief.
"The lake that sucks the life force from anything it touches while you are in it?" Itachi asked.
Several people gasped. The limp dolls became a terrible and painful sight. They weren't just limp. They were dead. Yahiko's head spun. He couldn't believe it. He expected Warlic to wave his ams at any moment and sit up, ready for mischief. He couldn't tear his eyes away from them as he waited for them to sit up.
"Oh, Jesus," Kisame exclaimed.
"What - what do we do?" Nagato asked.
"I don't know," Hidan whispered. He turned away in shame.
Sit up. Wave your arm. Do something. Please. Yahiko replayed the memory of Tobi singing to Little One over and over again. He wasn't the slightest bit concerned about himself. He worried about how Tobi would feel. Tobi called the dolls best friends. They had to be fine, because if they weren't, Tobi would be so sad. Maybe Jashin sama realized there was a mistake and returned the life force to them immediately.
"This isn't supposed to happen," Itachi said. His voice cracked. "There aren't supposed to be any irreversible tragedies."
What is he talking about? There aren't any. They're fine. They're just resting, or playing at sleeping. They'll get up any moment now.
Samehada wailed.
Her wail pierced through Yahiko's shock in a way that words could not. All of a sudden, he knew it was real. The dolls were dead. Warlic, Solis, Manta, even Little One - their life force had been drained. They were now no more than limp, nonliving, ordinary dolls.
Yahiko finally remembered where he recognized his gut-sinking feeling from. It perfectly matched descriptions he had read in books of parents who were told they had lost a child. Everything he had read became reality. Just like those fictional parents, his world shattered. His vision narrowed until he could see nothing but the dolls. He couldn't hear anything anymore. He sat there, mouth hanging open, staring at the little ones he had cared for and loved and looked after. There was nothing more important than them. How could he have ever thought there was? When his world shattered, it was a world composed of illusions and fear.
He reached out.
Something tried to hold him back, but he shook it off. Bit by bit, he crawled to their side until he could reach out and place his hands on Warlic's and Little One's chests. He still expected them to wiggle. The fact that they didn't shocked him. Yahiko shook his head, not understanding. I don't understand. I can't. I won't. He faced something horrible, and he denied it. No. No. This is not allowed. His hands clenched into fists. If anyone had touched him, he would have punched them in the face. No. No. I do not allow this.
"Hidan, get over here," he barked.
Hidan knelt across from him in a heartbeat. "What do you need?"
"Your power," Yahiko answered. "I don't allow this. We don't allow this."
Hidan offered his hands. Yahiko took them and placed them on Warlic's and Little One's chests, palms down. He placed his own hands over them and channeled chakra. It was luminous, green, healing chakra. Hadn't Itachi deduced that medical ninjas were able to restore life to anything with a soul less complex than a human's? If he could bring a fish back to life, why not a doll? Yahiko poured all his chakra into this effort, all his will. There was nothing more important.
He slipped into a trance. His mind was clearer than it had ever been before, so the trance was deeper than it had ever been before. He imagined that he could swim through their conjoined chakra streams, against the current, up Hidan's arms and into his mind. There, he found that they were in perfect agreement. Hidan's world of fear had also shattered. He was just as clear-headed and ready for action. There was much to be done. They poured life into the dolls. With their powers combined, it was easy work.
It was so easy, in fact, that other options presented themselves. The previously impossible looked very possible. Yahiko blinked. For the duration of that blink, he hallucinated a feeling of lifting. Flying? Weightlessness. A flash of grey. Broken stone. These visions didn't feel like hallucinations. They were real. Hidan sucked in a breath. He, too, had seen something. They looked up and gazed into each other's eyes.
Do you want to?
Do you?
They searched each other's eyes, hoping to find answers. But they found those answers within themselves. Hidan's eyes clouded over with sadness. Yahiko's hands tightened from anger. He did not want to back down and be powerless again. They both decided Yes.
Hidan closed his eyes. Technically, what he was about to do, he had done before. He just had to do it again and hope not to die. Yahiko closed his eyes too and held tight to that vision of flying away from broken rocks carrying something in his arms. Not something. Someone. I understand why I exist. Other Me died long before world cloning was a thing, but he came back in order to help someone else. Of course he did. That's exactly the sort of thing I would do.
The power and energy he felt drained away, leaving him lightheaded. Yahiko shivered, feeling hollow all of a sudden. Chakra vessels all over his arms and legs cramped, making him want to pass out. His eyelids fluttered as he gave in to the urge, falling forward into darkness.
Hidan
Hidan didn't entirely succeed. He did not die, but he lost many things. As he regained consciousness and opened his eyes, he didn't know where he was at first. Goosebumps rose all over his body. My memories! They've been looted! He could feel that he had lost much, much more than he ever had before. It scared him.
He remembered Yahiko. He caught his orange-haired ray of sunlight and held him up while Little One wiggled out from underneath. Then he lay Yahiko down gently in the grass. I love him. Hidan was really glad to remember that.
After laying Yahiko down, Hidan collapsed into the grass face first. What the - His entire chakra system cramped. He couldn't move. He closed his eyes and tried to remember…something. To his horror, the memory he reached for was one of the missing ones. He couldn't remember his very first memory. No! Shit! He had a feeling like it had been very important to him.
He heard voices. People were speaking. How long had they been speaking? He had no idea. Well, not speaking exactly, more like exclaiming in surprise and horror and confusion. What were they so surprised about?
He passed out before he could even wonder. He'd done most of the work, after all.
Nagato
Nagato woke up the next morning to find the demon boy staring at him. The room should have been dark, but the boy intentionally generated just enough light for Nagato to see his face only an inch or two away. Nagato stared back. Then he remembered what had happened the night before.
He sat up and threw off the covers. "Holy shit."
"You're telling me!" the boy said.
"What the fuck was that?"
"That's more power than you or me will ever have. You thought you were a king? Nah!"
"Oh my god!"
The demon boy looked just as surprised and upset as Nagato felt. Nagato covered his mouth with his hand. Yahiko and Hidan… They… They reached across worlds to bring people back to life! The demon boy was completely correct. How had Nagato thought he had the power to ruin anything? He did not. He was a mouse compared to them. I've come full circle. When I was young, I thought Yahiko was super impressive and I would only be following in his footsteps. Turns out I was right.
"Why? Why did they do that?" He gripped his head. The very ground beneath his feet had shifted.
"I don't know," the demon replied. "Just like I didn't really know why he insisted on getting those dolls."
Nagato swallowed back the remains of his dinner and thanked his lucky stars that he hadn't eaten dessert. "This is…so much more."
"Wanna find out how much?" The demon boy's relentless curiosity returned. "C'mon!"
The boy disappeared, leaving Nagato to fend for himself. Nagato trembled as he stood up and left his room. His hands shook as he gazed up the stairwell that climbed the rear of the building. They hardly ever used the stairs. Nagato hadn't even looked at the stairs since that day so long ago when he had discovered his Push and Pull powers. How long ago that was. His knees trembled, threatening to give way.
He climbed the stairs slowly, one step at a time, with his hand on the railing in case he fell down. At the top of the stairs, he took a deep breath before turning to his right. One of the rooms up here was a twin. That was the room they had used.
Sunlight shone in through large windows, illuminating three sleeping forms: one in each bed, and one on the floor between. Nagato only had eyes for the bed to his right. That was where his own original lay. Nagato sat softly at the foot of that bed and stared. The two of them looked nearly identical. His original was a little paler, perhaps. For some reason, his rebuilt body was clothed in a cloak nearly identical to the Akatsuki cloak except for its lack of red clouds. Nagato swallowed again and held himself for comfort. They looked the same on the outside, but would the look in their eyes be similar or completely different?
"Mrr." The person on the floor between the two beds shifted. His ears flicked. He lazily opened both eyes, then froze. His eyes sharpened. In quick, trained movements, he scanned the room. Finally, his gaze landed on Nagato and stayed there. It was a hard gaze, the sort that Nagato had gotten unused to. Chills ran up his back. With another flick of his ears, Original Hidan sat up. "Who the fuck are you, where the fuck am I, and what did you do to me?"
"I'm a cloned version of one of your groupmates, you're in our base, and nothing has been done to you except bringing you back to life and carrying you up here," Nagato answered. Thank goodness I've had time to get used to Konan!
Original Hidan narrowed his eyes. His tail waved back and forth slowly, as if he was hunting. "As if I'd believe that shit." He stood up slowly and saw Original Nagato lying in the bed. He glanced back and saw Original Yahiko lying in the other. "I don't recognize these people."
Nagato had to very quickly remember things he had not remembered in a long time. "They - they were disguised when you knew them."
"Actually, this guy does look a little familiar," Hidan said with a frown. He walked over and poked Original Yahiko's face. "He looks like Leader sama, but without the piercings."
"That's what I mean by disguised," Nagato whispered. Yahiko's dead body, turned into a puppet by the same chakra rods that Sasori uses to control his creations. He felt nauseous. They come from a world where that sort of thing is normal.
Original Hidan turned back to him. "You have a lot of explaining to do, Redhead. And what do you mean, 'our'? How many of you are there?"
"Konan is here, and every other one of your groupmates was cloned too," Nagato replied. "We gathered together in an abandoned hotel so we could train together."
Something about these responses was making Original Hidan displeased. He bared his teeth. He spotted his scythe leaning against the wall and grabbed it, holding it ready for action. He advanced toward Nagato, who stood up in a hurry. "You look like a pussy. I can take you."
Never in a million years would Nagato have thought that he would be attacked. He backed away and tried to ready his chakra, but for what? Was he really going to do battle inside a building? He was caught totally unprepared. Original Hidan, on the other hand, knew exactly what he was doing. His eyes gleamed as he watched Nagato back away. He took another step forward. Nagato's back hit the wall.
"Hidan."
They both froze in place, then turned to look at the doorway. Konan was there. She and Original Hidan watched each other for a long, long moment. He lowered his scythe. Konan held out the object she carried in her hand. It was a mirror.
Original Hidan took it and looked at himself. He flinched. "What the shit?" He put the scythe on his back in the opposite way from how his clone did, blades down, so that he could touch his own face. He ran his fingers over the soft white fur that covered his skin, touched the ears that weren't quite human and weren't quite cat. He looked down and watched his tail as it curled around his left leg. It was long, smooth and white-furred, like the tail of a domestic cat. He looked up at Konan. "What the fuck happened to me?"
"You died," she replied. "Then you were brought back."
Nagato crept along the edges of the room, trying to stay out of Hidan's sight for as long as possible. "I'm out of here," he gasped as he ran past Konan into the hall. Into safety. He still couldn't believe it. My life was in danger!
He reached the stairs and jumped over the side, then went out into the backyard. Here, he could run if he needed to. Inside a building no longer felt like a safe place to be. Nagato took deep breaths and watched the sky lighten. Dawn was well advanced, but still underway. Probably nobody else except Kakuzu was awake yet. He sent a message in the group chat. Guys, I don't know what's happening, but things are not going to be the same from now on as they were before. Original Hidan just threatened my life. I'm not so sure we can count on narrative convenience anymore.
After sending that warning, he thought, I could be overreacting. I'm just freaked out and my ninja instincts are telling me to be alert for danger. I don't have any proof that the way this world works has changed. But the look in Hidan's eyes… It was true that Konan had appeared just in time to save him, but there had been something to save him from. When was the last time that had been the case? I don't think we're playing around anymore…
He almost regretted that Marsha had given him as much vacation time as she could. But then he changed his mind. Hiding at his place of work, while it might make him feel safer, was not an effective strategy for dealing with his new situation. Original Hidan looked at him like he was prey because he was. I've got to get my shit together and fast. He tightened his fists, then touched his weapon seal and took out a kunai. He threw it directly at the tree in front of him. It pierced the wood with a loud Thunk.
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A/N: FINA-FREAKING-LY! I've been waiting for this moment for more than 4 years! This is the moment predicted in the very first Author Note: the moment when the whole story becomes a cute kitty omake! Finally! It took forever to get here!
My original ideas for this plot development were very different. I initially wanted to bring the whole group back for purposes of comparison. That's why the entire second level of the building is unused. Then, there was the obvious question of how would people be raised from the dead. I thought that the story might include a rival religion that would detest Jashinism and bring the original group back to life to use as a weapon against them. That didn't happen, but I can see where parts of that idea got used. Until a few weeks ago when I started to write the events of last chapter, I thought that it just wasn't going to happen. I had no plausible way to reanimate their originals, and I'd established that this story is not really a story, so there was no need for the originals anyway. So I thought. I was kind of relieved to think this, because it didn't take long to get a bad feeling about my original idea. Most of the original Akatsuki were perfectly happy to be dead, and would have no place here.
But some of them were not, and they do.
I'm not totally sure what they're doing here, but I'm going to find out. And I already know this: they will vastly increase the amount of editing this story gets. Because they would never put up with half the tangentmongering that goes on here. Oh, this is gonna be so much fun!