A/N: Not talking about my upcoming projects is working well so far! I've been greatly productive at several things I was initally pessimistic about, things I doubted I would be able to keep doing. But I've kept at them so far!

Come to think of it... Because I regard writing as a very personal endeavour, I never told anybody except you readers that I'd started doing it. References to it came up over time, of course, but slowly, and only references. It must have been a good month or two after I started publishing before any of the people who live with me learned of it. I remember how surprised I was in an early chapter that I'd successfully kept up with publishing a chapter a week. No longer! This explains everything. Looking back, projects I began in deepest secrecy are the projects that went on to become lifelong. The only surprise here is how long it took me to make that connection.

Anyway.

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Zetsu

They did not talk about it. Or even think about it. They did their best to erase it from history, as if it had never existed, as if they hadn't seen what they had seen and felt what they had felt.

Unfortunately, Tobi wasn't in on this plan. "I wanna play with the friend dolls," she said while on a walk that was supposed to keep her distracted. "When are we gonna see them again, Zetsu?"

Never. "Uh…I don't know."

"Can we ask?"

Let's not. "Uh…We don't have anyone's phone number."

Tobi noticed a building they were passing. "Ooh! Can I make pretty pictures?" She darted inside the art supply store before Zetsu could stop her.

Zetsu followed. The store wasn't large; they could mostly keep an eye on her from the front entrance. That was where they stayed, because neither of them had a desire to move any more than they had to. Black Zetsu sighed. This is really damn annoying.

I can't believe I'm saying this, but I've gotta back you up on that one.

That energy… I don't want to be around it.

Me neither. I thought those people might be nice to know at first, but now, they are WAY too scary.

Totally unsuitable. If we leave Obito in their care, he'll be torn to shreds.

Possibly literally. One of those people they brought back had a weapon with him!

Tobi moved out of sight, hidden down Aisle 6, but they weren't worried. She'd found a store clerk and was pestering the poor man about everything that could possibly be related to pretty pictures. There was someone in danger, but it wasn't her. Tobi might fit in perfectly though, White Zetsu mused.

People that dangerous might just be able to handle Madara, Black Zetsu conceded. However, it's Obito we're concerned about, not the others. The other two might love it there, but he should stay as far away as possible.

Oh yeah. As faaaar away as possible. White Zetsu shivered.

Tobi moved back within earshot. Her enthusiasm had reached its maximum. "I want to make pretty pictures!" she nearly screamed while performing a combination of dancing and running in place. "Is there a pretty picture club?! I want to be in a room with people and put all the pretty pictures on the walls and…" Tobi went on to describe normal, everyday kindergarten activities. Zetsu cringed, feeling as if a knife had been plunged into their heart. If she had a separate existence, she could've gone to school and had all her wishes fulfilled. If she had a separate body, she could've done all of these activities. But there was no way that she could go to kindergarten trapped as she was in Obito's body. It would never be allowed. "And the winner of the prettiest picture contests gets… Hmm… A puppy!" Tobi clapped her hands together and squealed with delight.

Both halves of Zetsu had tears in their eyes. That poor kid, Black Zetsu thought.

Oh man, White Zetsu said with a mental whimper. White Zetsu also enjoyed activities typically reserved for younger humans. He could empathize.

Judging from the look on the clerk's face, he had one hell of a migraine setting in. "I know some people you can go and draw pictures with. They even have their own supplies. You don't need to stick around here."

"Really? Yay! Who are they?" Tobi danced in place again.

"I don't know their names, but they're a pair of guys. One of them has medium-length orange hair and the other has longish straight red hair plus rings in his eyes. Just search the entire town and I'm sure you'll find them somewhere." The clerk muttered something else under his breath. It was probably, and spend long enough doing that that you never, ever, come back to this godforsaken store.

Tobi gasped. "They draw pretty pictures too?!" She screamed. It echoed off the walls. The clerk gave up all pretense of customer service and ran for the safety of a back room. Tobi skidded to a stop inches from colliding with Zetsu head-on. "That says it! We're going! We're gonna see the friend dolls and draw pretty pictures and have a great tiiiiime!"

Oh dear FUCKING sweet god. Zetsu knew they were trapped. In this state, there was no saying no to her. "Whatever you say…"

Tobi

The journey there counted as running practice. "C'mon!" Tobi called. Zetsu was so slow! They couldn't keep up without panting and puffing. They really needed to get in shape. Tobi wanted to go faster, faster!, but held back so that Zetsu could keep up. Tobi had never once had a single thought about leaving Zetsu behind. That was the sort of thought that young children simply could not have. Zetsu was The Adult. As The Adult, Tobi must always be in their presence or go elsewhere only with their permission. It was psychologically impossible to think of willingly leaving them in order to be alone. In this one respect, Tobi more closely resembled a four or five year old, instead of the older child that Zetsu usually imagined.

By pushing Zetsu at his fastest pace, they reached the abandoned building around 4 in the afternoon. Tobi stopped, overcome by a sudden bout of shyness. "Ohhh… What if they're super busy…" Zetsu waited, not saying anything. It passed in just a few seconds. Tobi clapped. "Ooh! So excited! C'mon Zetsu!" Tobi darted up to the doors and held one open for Zetsu.

The lobby was initially empty, but someone ran in to meet them. It was the man with the stitches all over his arms. He stopped by the desk and watched them suspiciously. "Reason for visiting?"

"The person at the place with all the things you need to make pretty pictures told me that the nice person and the ring-eyed person also make pretty pictures so now we're here to draw together and also play with the friend dolls and also look for flowers," Tobi explained in one breath.

"I'll take you directly to them," the stitched man said. Tobi looked around excitedly. Yay! Playing with pretty pictures and friend dolls will be so much fun! Tobi did not actually know what suspicion was or what it meant.

The stitched-up man took them down the right hall to the kitchen. The nice person was busy cutting up ingredients for cooking. He was smiling. "Ooh," Tobi exclaimed while walking in. "Whatcha making? What's your name again? Is it delicious?"

"Tobi!" the nice person exclaimed with a broad grin. "Haha! My name's Yahiko. Don't worry, I'll remind you as much as you want. Um, I'm getting an early start on dinner. I don't…want anyone to be rushing around or for us to have a…lazy sort of dinner." His smile faded, but then it returned. "It's good to see you! I wasn't…" His smile faded again.

"Huh? What's wrong?" Tobi asked.

"Um…" He glanced at Zetsu. "Well… Something happened last night. Um…"

"Zetsu? What happened?" Tobi turned to Zetsu. Zetsu knew all of the things. They had the answers.

"uh…" Zetsu looked frightened. Seeing The Adult frightened made Tobi's knees shake. It must be really scary!

"A-a-alternate versions of me and Nagato were brought back," Yahiko said.

Tobi turned to Yahiko. "What?"

Yahiko wiped his hands on a towel, then rubbed the side of his head. He slowly said, "Nagato's my friend with the rings in his eyes. There are two of me and two of him now. But the other us-es are…a little different. Other Nagato is bossier, and Other Me doesn't like the dolls as much."

"Oh?" Why would anyone not like the dolls? They're so cute. "And then what happened?" What's the really scary thing that Zetsu's afraid of?

"Another of my friends named Hidan also has another him now. Um. I don't know if you ever met him." Yahiko fidgeted. "If you see a man with white hair slicked back, like this, and he's wearing a necklace, don't talk to him too much. He's very grumpy. But if you see someone like that and he's not wearing a necklace, you can talk to that person as much as you want. The one without the necklace is cool. The one with the necklace is pretty scary." Yahiko put a hand over his face. "The one with the necklace also looks like a cat, but do not pet him. The one without the necklace, the nice one, he doesn't look like a cat but you can pet him just as if he was one. I hope I'm not making it too complicated…"

"The nice one does not look like a cat but I should pet him, and he doesn't have a necklace. The mean one looks like a cat but I shouldn't pet him, and he has a necklace," Tobi recited.

"Thank you," Yahiko said as if he was in pain. His face was bright red. "I probably should have mentioned the cat thing first. I just -" He shook his head vigorously and put on a big smile. "Anyway, that's what's going on. Stay away from grumpy cat Hidan because he's grumpy and will get mad at you if you talk to him too much. Uh, also stay away from Other Nagato because… Because he and Other Me are new and they need time to adjust. They're not ready for playing yet."

"Okay. And then what happened?"

The room went dead silent. Tobi felt everyone staring. "Nothing else happened," Yahiko said.

"Yes it did. Zetsu's scared and you're scared. Something scary must have happened. What was it?"

Another long silence. "Grumpy cat Hidan is more than just a bit grumpy," Yahiko replied. "He starts fights. He pushes people and tries to cut them, that sort of thing. I didn't say so earlier because I didn't want to scare you. Zetsu and I are just worried that he might fight you and…break your mask, or-"

Tobi gasped. "Break the mask?" That was scary. Zetsu made it clear that the mask was to stay on at all times. The mask was Serious Business. Breaking it would be the worst most horrible thing ever! No wonder Zetsu had been so frightened. Tobi saluted. "Got it! Keep mask away from grumpy cat person so he doesn't break it!"

"Um…yup." Yahiko started to laugh again. This time he didn't stop. He ended up bent over, holding onto the counter, hardly able to breathe. After a long while, he straightened up and took deep breaths. "Tobi, you… You make everything so simple. It seems all complicated, but it's really not. The scary thing isn't as scary as I thought it was. Thank you."

Tobi looked down. "But I didn't bring anything magic with me."

"You don't need to." Yahiko tossed the towel on a counter. "You know what, I've changed my mind. You should see Other Me and Other Nagato. They need to meet you sometime, right?"

"That's debatable," the stitched-up person said.

"Kakuzu."

"We're on his side," White Zetsu said.

Yahiko's smile faded again. "But…" He tried to say more, but couldn't speak at all. He had looked so happy and confident, but now his aura retreated and he looked down, making himself seem very small and sad.

He's falling under a curse! I need magic to cure him. I don't have any magic items with me, but he said I didn't need them. Does that mean I have magic powers? Tobi rubbed Yahiko's hair. Perhaps I have magic hands. Yahiko looked confused. No, that's not it. Perhaps I have magic feet. Tobi gently stepped on his feet. Yahiko still just looked confused. Maybe the mask is magic? Tobi tried headbutting him. Yahiko looked more confused than ever. What else? I haven't touched him with anything else… Oh! Maybe it's my voice! Tobi started to sing. "La la la la la…" Yahiko's lips twitched. It's my voice! I have a magic voice! "Do re mi, do re mi, da ba daba daba do re mi…" Yahiko started to giggle. Yay! The curse is gone!

"Tobi, what are you doing?" White Zetsu asked.

"He's cheering me up," Yahiko replied. "Aww. Thanks! Can I give you a hug?" Tobi hugged him. It felt natural. It felt like something done a thousand times a day. But once the hug was accomplished, Tobi realized it wasn't. Woah. He's warm. And soft. I like it. Who was the last person to hug me? Tobi could not remember. In fact, it was impossible to know if Tobi had ever been hugged by anyone at all. Yahiko let go, but Tobi held on. This feels nice.

"Um…" Yahiko replaced his hands around Tobi's waist, blushing. "Tobi…"

Tobi felt something strange inside. It was deep, deep, hidden all the way in the very core of the inner life that all three of them shared. That made it indescribable using words, and all but unknowable. But if Tobi could have known it and if it could have been described, it would have closely resembled the heart-stabbing pain that Zetsu had felt earlier in the art supply store. Tobi understood more than anyone else realized.

Tobi let go eventually. "Hmm…" What fun thing were we going to do again?

Yahiko was still bright red. He kept his eyes on the counter. "...You know what, let's not use the word 'should.' We'll just do whatever ends up happening."

Tobi spotted the knife and the cut ingredients on the board. A third of them remained uncut. Tobi picked up the knife and poked a mushroom. Yahiko touched the hand that held the knife, silently asking Tobi to give it to him, and showed Tobi how to cut up the mushroom. Tobi cut up the rest of them. All of this happened in silence. The stitched-up man left the room; he wasn't needed. Zetsu stayed. But once again. Zetsu had not the faintest idea why. Their presence was not necessary.

"Tobi, uh, we're gonna leave now," White Zetsu said experimentally.

"Okay." Yahiko was now showing Tobi how to cut up onion. It was much more difficult than the mushrooms. Tobi was fascinated.

"Um…bye."

Tobi didn't even respond.

Kakuzu

Kakuzu only withdrew a little way down the hall so he could think. The situation with Tobi and Zetsu seems to be dealt with. What next?

Before he could decide on something else to do, Zetsu emerged from the kitchen. They went a little way down the hall too, stopping across from Kakuzu. They didn't speak. They seemed lost in thought. Whatever thoughts they had were clearly of a sad nature; both halves looked depressed.

Kakuzu leaned against the wall and watched them. Eventually, White Zetsu said, "We don't know what we're supposed to do anymore."

Kakuzu huffed. "Hardly anyone does."

"No, it's different for you guys," White Zetsu said.

Black Zetsu added, "It's no use lying to make us feel better. You people know exactly what you want to do."

Kakuzu wondered if that was true. Maybe it was. Hadn't they all pretty much accepted that they were tools of some higher power? Most of the group seemed willing to do their best to fulfill whatever meta purpose their story might have. That was probably what Zetsu meant. Zetsu definitely was not on board with that purpose. They didn't even know about the author yet.

White Zetsu looked sad. Black Zetsu seemed furious. Kakuzu wasn't part of their shared brain, but he could feel their inner conflict. He continued to look as stern as ever, but his heart softened. I used to be that conflicted. I think I understand what they're feeling.

Quiet footsteps drew his attention. Original Nagato and Original Yahiko were coming from the lobby. They stopped and scanned the scene in front of them in that wary way they had.

Zetsu heard the footsteps too. They moved one of their flytrap leaves and leaned forward to see around it. When they saw, they threw themselves back against the wall. Both halves groaned loudly, sinking down to sit on the floor with their arms wrapped around their knees. They closed their flytrap leaves tightly around their head, leaving only a small gap to speak through. "Does it never end?" Black Zetsu snarled.

"We just want to protect him," White Zetsu said. "We like to keep him safe. We like to keep things safe, to keep things, you know, making sense. He needs that."

"But now, it's impossible," Black Zetsu continued. "We can't keep him safe. There's too much change, too many bizarre things happening. What can we do about the powers of a god?"

White Zetsu sniffed. "Does he even want us around anymore?"

"It seems like there's no point in trying to create a sense of stability. It's useless, futile."

"So then what are we supposed to do? Why are we here?"

Kakuzu didn't need to see their shared face to know that Zetsu was in great pain. He would have preferred not to turn his back on the originals, but people didn't always get to do what they preferred. He knelt on the floor and put a hand on Black Zetsu's shoulder. "Now you know what the rest of us dealt with."

Their flytrap leaves opened a little. They peered out at him.

"Relax. If there's one thing that we do around here, it's figure out our purpose. It'll happen. You'll feel like garbage until then, but that's just par for the course." Kakuzu took his hand back and shrugged. His shrug said, No big deal. All to be expected. Totally normal.

One of them sniffled. It was impossible to tell who. "Mhm," White Zetsu muttered vaguely. They twisted away, getting to their feet and leaving. They were probably going as far away as they could in order to be as alone as they could. Kakuzu approved.

There were a few seconds of deep silence. Then Original Yahiko said, "That man… He travels with another who wears a mask, right? Is that who he feels unneeded by?"

Kakuzu had returned to his position leaning against the wall. He nodded.

"I have never seen Zetsu depressed before," Original Nagato said.

"Like I told them, it happens a lot around here. Most of our version of the group doesn't even know how to slap on a brave face and keep going, never mind bother to do it. Get used to open expressions of all kinds of mushy feelings." Kakuzu rolled his eyes to show he was not one of the mushy types and not going to participate.

"Are they group members?" Original Yahiko asked.

"Not yet. We're trying to get them involved. But as you can see, they're not eager to get on board." Kakuzu looked down the hall where Zetsu had gone. "The first meltdown is a milestone. Now that they've had it, they're all but officially in. It's just formalities at this point."

"The masked man?"

Kakuzu scanned them in just as wary a way as they had. "I believe Konan should decide how to introduce that." Unfortunately, I still have no goddamn idea where she is. He'd held back before in case she was away on important business, but now he pulled out his phone and called her.

The phone rang. It rang again. It rang a third time. Kakuzu started to get suspicious. She usually answers promptly. The phone started to ring a fourth time, but cut itself short. "Unavailable at this time," Konan said in an unusually eager voice. It sounded like the sort of voice she employed in the middle of a manic blood lust. She ended the call immediately after saying that, and Kakuzu had zero desire to call back.

He put his phone back in his pocket. "On the other hand, she is currently unavailable. I suppose I'll have to do. Come on." He indicated that they should follow him back the way they had come, to the kitchen. Just outside, he held up a hand, telling them to stay put. He leaned in. Tobi was unusually quiet and attentive as they watched Yahiko mix ingredients in careful proportions. Kakuzu almost felt bad for interrupting. "Tobi. Some people want to meet you."

Tobi came out into the hall and gasped. "It's them! The other people! I know about you." They pointed to Original Nagato, then to Original Yahiko. "You're bossy, and you don't like the friend dolls. Why don't you like the friend dolls?"

"I have reasons," Original Yahiko said politely and formally. It sounded wrong coming from him.

"But they're so cute!"

"Maybe he'll come to like them over time," Kakuzu said. "Anyway. Introduce yourself."

Tobi saluted. "I am Tobi! I am a magical princess that goes around and collects all kinds of magical things in order to keep people safe from curses. No curse gets past me!"

What.

"That's very noble," Original Nagato said politely.

"Now introduce the others," Kakuzu ordered. Forget about the magic and curses. That's not important right now.

Tobi tilted their head. "Others?"

Crap. "The others that you share a body with." Does Tobi even know about them? Dammit, I should have made sure.

"Huh." Tobi rubbed the part of their mask that covered their chin. "I dunno."

"Fine, I'll do it." Kakuzu was embarrassed at having been caught making a major oversight. He willed himself not to show any sign of it, then got annoyed at himself for apparently wanting to make a good impression on the originals. I'm not supposed to care what the hell they think! "Tobi's just one of three people who inhabit this body. The other two are a malicious asshole named Madara and a shy, barely describable person named Obito. Obito's the one that the body originally belonged to."

"Oh?" Tobi tilted their head. "Owns everything? Very shy? That must be the king!"

What? "...What about mean, attacks people, makes them feel worthless and hopeless, deep voice?"

Tobi rubbed the back of their head, looking shy for the first time that Kakuzu had ever seen. "Red scales?"

Kakuzu had no idea what to say to that. The originals glanced at each other. "Madara did, in a previous life, wear red plated armor," Original Nagato said.

Tobi gasped. "The dragon!" They looked around quickly, as if checking for danger. In a hushed voice, they whispered, "Don't talk about the dragon. It's very very top secret."

Kakuzu finally caught up with what was happening. "You're a magical princess, Obito's the king, and Madara is a dragon?"

Tobi acted very, very shy now. They nodded. "I break curses. The dragon's super cursed. I'm trying to gather magic things for a very big spell. It's super top secret and you can't tell anyone, not even Zetsu."

"Our lips are sealed," Yahiko said from the kitchen entryway. His voice was just as quiet as Tobi's and just as serious. The look on his face and the feel of his aura made it clear that this fantasy interpretation of Obito's system was indeed serious business. He gave Kakuzu a hard look. Kakuzu was not to roll his eyes, huff, make mocking comments, or in any way make it out to be less serious than it was. Hold on. When did I start taking orders from him? Konan has always been able to intimidate me, but he didn't use to. When did he acquire that power? Kakuzu could not remember. Perhaps it had developed gradually. It didn't matter; either way, he was inclined to obey Yahiko now.

"Thank you, Sir Knight!" Tobi relaxed. "I would be honored to have you join me on my quest."

Yahiko looked nervous. "Give me a sec!" He went back into the kitchen, rummaged around in drawers with metal objects, and came back out with a long serrated meat knife. "I can't be knighted without a sword," he explained. He placed one hand flat beneath the tip of the blade, the other flat beneath the handle, knelt down on one knee, bowed his head so that he looked at the floor and held up the knife to a person he could not see.

Tobi took the knife. They had no trace of shyness about them now. With careful and serious movements, they pressed the flat of the blade against Yahiko's right shoulder, then his left. "I dub thee Sir Knight, and invite you to join my quest."

"Your wish is my command," Yahiko replied.

"Then rise." Yahiko lifted his head and stood up. Tobi squeed. "Yayyyyy!"

"I'll just take that knife back to the kitchen," Yahiko said while doing so. When he returned, he beamed. "I've never joined a quest before! How exciting!"

Tobi nodded. "We must collect lots and lots of magical things in order to cast a great big spell to break the curse."

"May I use my dolls?" Yahiko asked. "Er, I mean, my trustworthy hounds?"

Tobi envisioned the six of them doing whatever they planned to be doing. The vision made Tobi sigh and go limp for a moment. They caught themself just before they melted onto the floor. "Y-yeah. That's acceptable."

Yahiko looked a little melty himself. "Yeah… I mean, thank you." He blinked and remembered where he was. He turned to Kakuzu. "Kakuzu, I've finished the sauce. It's in the pot with the lid on. Don't move it; the burner will keep it warm. You just need to cook some macaroni, then pour the sauce over and mix it in. Whenever you want dinner to be ready, I mean. It's early right now." He was trying to be serious, but he couldn't help but start grinning. "Perfect timing for me and Tobi to go over the details of our quest and make plans for tomorrow!" He blushed a little, but out of joy rather than shame. Tobi felt the same; they danced in place. As soon as Yahiko turned their way, they grabbed his arm and dragged him off. The two of them ran like little kids through the halls, laughing.

Silence descended over the originals and Kakuzu. Despite what Konan had said, Original Yahiko did not act very much like his clone at all. He and Original Nagato were just as serious and orderly as Kakuzu. Hmm. I might like them better than I expected to. Kakuzu cleared his throat. "That is also a normal part of life around here. Unlike your world, people of this world don't place much importance on hierarchy and status and pecking orders. We have a more flexible structure that changes depending on the context. In this particular context, Tobi has an established plan for dealing with Madara and they also live in the same body, which gives them influence over Madara. It makes sense for anyone else who wants to deal with that asshole to take orders from Tobi. In literally any other context, Tobi would be the one taking orders because of their age. That's how it works with us. Any questions?"

The originals took some time before responding. "I thought the different personalities were all acts," Original Yahiko said.

"They used to be. Your version of Obito was indeed just putting on a bunch of disguises as part of his schemes. But when a world clone was made of him…" Kakuzu took a moment to plan out what to say next. "World cloning has rules to it. Some things are not allowed to change, while other things are more flexible. The clones always have the same powers as their originals, and they always have the same general lived experience. Bodily appearance, physical age, and even mental status can change to accommodate those requirements. I guess a lived experience of passing as multiple different people was important enough to become one of the things that could not be altered. But in this world, people don't generally hatch schemes that require them to pull off that kind of act. There is, however, a mental condition called Multiple Personality Disorder that only requires a tragic childhood. He seems to have had one. It's an easy adjustment." Kakuzu brushed his hands against each other as if dusting them off. This gesture meant, Case Closed.

"You speak as if there is intention involved," Original Nagato said in a careful voice.

"There is," Kakuzu replied, in just as careful a voice. "How are you finding your new surroundings? Do you have questions about anything?" Translation: We're not going to tell you about it because you're new and fragile and we don't want to scare you.

Did Original Nagato briefly smile, or was that only what Kakuzu wanted to see? "We will search out any information we do not already have for ourselves. But thank you for the kind offer."

Kakuzu wished them well and hurried off to complete some vague business of his that he did not describe in any way. Once safely enclosed in his room, he took a deep breath and let it out in a sigh. Well, well, well. I never expected to feel like a schoolgirl with a crush, but here I am. At last I meet people with the same attitudes and standards as I have. I want to impress them. I want to be accepted by them, just so that I can finally have some decent company. He sat down on his bed. I guess I have been somewhat lonely. My wants and desires constantly get overruled or compromised by grown children. It would be nice to have people to speak with who will understand my concerns completely, agree with and validate them, not need anything explained. He looked down. I've always forged ahead by myself. It would be…nice…to not have to. Even just for five minutes a week.

He would never share such thoughts, of course. Hidan might magically detect them, but Hidan could be sworn to secrecy. Kakuzu put the matter aside and returned to thinking about what he must do next in order to maintain order and ensure stability among the group. That was his usual preference, but lately it had taken on a new sense of urgency. He must enforce order among the group. It was already evening on the originals' first day in their new life. Time was running out to make a good first impression.

.

A/N: In chronological order as presented in this chapter:

Grrrr! I DETEST maximum age limits. By which I mean general ones, not specific ones. It's okay to have a limit for a specific group so that one specific group can have members that are all around the same age who can be comfortable with each other. But to have no equivalent groups or open spaces for people of different ages? To say either implicitly or explicitly, "Once you pass X age you're not allowed to participate in X activity anywhere at any time ever"? I HATE that! Back when I was physically young enough to participate in singing circles and arts'n'crafts days and block building projects, I felt and acted more like a surly teenager and would not have enjoyed those activities. Now that I am older, I have aged into childhood innocence and would enjoy such activities very much. But I can't because I'm older. Those of us who live the phases of our lives out of the "correct" order miss out on many opportunities. I'm sure if I look hard enough I can find opportunities that are open to me. But that's a poor substitute for the bountiful opportunities that five year olds are shown without ever having to look.

I'm pretty sure Zetsu represents dissociation. That term can be looked up on Wikipedia, but I don't think any online source captures the full essence of it. It's like a wall comes down inside, cutting you off from your inner life. Emotions, values, hopes, dreams, ambitions, beliefs - they all are trapped behind it, inaccessible. That's a way of keeping them safe when the outside world threatens them. You can't have your hopes dashed if you don't even know you have them, can't have your dreams broken if you never speak of them and don't even know you have them. I have been trying as hard as I can to move past that. It's accurate to say I don't want it around. Yet even now, I still continue to use it. During times of stress or difficulty, I return to feeling like a well-disguised sociopath. My relationship to this way of dealing with the world is complicated. No wonder Zetsu's confused.

I originally envisioned Tobi and Yahiko playing together in what seemed to be silly childhood games, and Yahiko coming over time to suspect that they might be more than games. That flew out the window along with my inability to speak clearly and directly. I don't like to beat around the bush like that anymore.

Ah, Kakuzu. He's so cool. And so overlooked. As much as I've learned to like impulsive wackiness, I'd rather not put up with being forced to live that way forever. Lucky me, I don't have to! I'm aging. Physically maturing. The parts of my brain that are meant to coordinate actions in order to accomplish goals are finally becoming strong. Ooh, I can't wait to be 25. That's the age that popular science says the brains finishes maturing. Who know what I'll be capable of then. That saying is often misinterpreted to deny teens and young adults equal consideration because they supposedly "don't know what they're talking about," but there is also some truth to it! PSA for the day: just because a person lacks certain abilities does not mean they should be dismissed when they give opinions on the things that they are capable of doing. People who have yet to finish growing should be treated with just as much respect as people with other disabilities, either temporary or permanent, AND THAT SHOULD BE A HIGH LEVEL OF RESPECT. But the poor treatment of people with disabilities is a rant for another day.

25 is a few years away. I imagine I'll stop this story long before then. But maybe I could have a celebratory birthday epilogue...

Anyway, see you all next chapter.