Genre: angst

Silena — Lies

Silena 16 - Travis 16 - Connor 15

Post Beckendorf's death, Pre Battle of Manhatten

When Silena was 11, she wanted to be a hairdresser. That's why she braided Annabeth's hair all the time. When she was 12, she wanted to be a fashion designer. That's why she made Clarisse be her model. When she was 13, she thought about being a horse trainer. That's why she asked Percy to be her interpreter for horse body language. When she was 14, she fell in love and wanted to be an engineer. That's why she stuck close to Travis and Connor and watched them set up their pranks.

And when she was 15, she wanted to be a hero. That's why she asked Chris to teach how to be strong, how to fight better, faster, to be unmatchable. Because there's a war coming (a war she helped cause) her friends will be in danger (a danger she inflicted upon them) and she wants to protect them (because she can't bear their death on her hands).

When Silena was 16, she wanted nothing more than to disappear.

A shame. An insult. An abnormality. They think she doesn't know what they say behind her back but she knows. She knows everything her siblings say about her and her refusal to do the rite of passage

Incomplete. Unfinished. A disgrace.

Whispers that's not really whispers rings from all corners of her cabin that no amount of fake sorting of her nightstand will cover up.

She sees red pass the tears and beyond the red, she sees their taunting smirks and callous attitude. And hunters. She sees the hunters and the scorn they held for the love she felt.

She stands, takes a step forward to her dear siblings, and is pulled back by the arm.

Connor's voice hisses in her ear, "Calm down!"

And Travis's voice, louder, more cheerful, "We'll be right back. We just have to talk with Silena really fast. You all should really go to bed."

She's drag outside to the bottom of the porch and to the side of the banister. The cool night air doing nothing to soothe the burning she feels.

"They were badmouthing Charlie," she chokes out, not liking the disapproval lining Connor's face.

His eyes soften. "I know. I know. And you have every right to be pissed. But you can't be pissy now. Not when we have a battle coming soon. You'll damage their morals."

"And damaged morals means troubled minds, and a troubled mind means a distracted mind, and distracted mind is a dead demigod," Travis says, regurgitating the lesson Chiron tells them all the time as counselors.

Silena tears her arm away, trying and failing to control her ragged breathing. "I-I know. I wasn't about to— I wasn't gonna—"

But she could see Beckendorf and his kindness and his selflessness and how she's nothing like him and how if he could really see her for who she is, he wouldn't love her. He wouldn't want to be with her and Silena curls up and sobs again.

"I got the hot chocolate, Travis," Connor says, before taking off in a full powered run.

Travis sinks to his knees too, a hand wrapping around her back. He said nothing, did nothing except stay by her side.

Eventually, she cries all she could and she's left sniffling as she traces a circle in the dirt with a finger.

"Why were you guys here so fast?" she mumbles.

"Because we know how mean your cabin is, no offense," Travis says, nudging her with his elbow. "And knowing how hot-headed you are, that you'll probably kick their butts. Gods, I still remember that time you almost fought Zoe. I can't believe it's been 2 years since that day."

She laughs even though it hurts to.

2 years ago she was just a dumb kid with no idea about love, about loss. Just a dumb kid living a dumb lie that Luke'll keep his promise.

"Yeah, I remember," she sniffles. "You guys held me back then too."

"Zoe could have whipped your butt."

"Yeah, I guess, but I would make her eat dirt before she does."

Travis snorts. "Sure, you will."

"I can too."

"Uh-huh."

She hits Travis's arm lightly. "Stop doubting me, you meanie."

"I'm being realistic. Zoe has like a thousand years of fighting experience while you're like… an above average fighter in your cabin, but compared to the rest of the campers, you're very, very much average, right?"

Silena swallows the lump in her throat. The average camper isn't a spy. The average camper isn't a 2-faced liar. The average camper isn't a cowardly bastard like her. But still, she forces a grin and chuckle. "Yeah, you're right. I'm completely average."

A moment mistake.

A forgotten power.

Careless words. That was all it took

All this time, all these years she's been careful, so very careful about what she said, to who she said it to, the questions she kept an ear open for. All that work and effort.

Gone.

And Silena realizes her mistake when Travis stiffens, a hand going to clutch his stomach.

"You're…" Travis frowns and he stares at her, really stares at her and Silena did her best to keep her poker face, to mask the screaming she feels in her chest.

Then his eyes widen and he's scooting away from her. Her heart fell.

Travis stands, almost tripping in his haste. "You're… lying to me. Which is very hurtful by the way. I'm trying to be nice to you and you don't trust me. I'm going to go tell Connor what a big meanie you are. You just stay right here."

Silena blinks once and Travis is running to the cabin store.

He knows. He's going to tell Connor. They're going to tell Chiron. Chiron'll tell the whole camp. And then everybody will know she's a traitor. That she caused Beckendorf's death. Lee's death. Castor. Bianca. Everybody.

And no. She doesn't want that.

Travis is fast.

But she's faster and she takes a deep breath and says. "Stop running."

He stops running.

She stands and lowers her head.

"Go back to your cabin and sleep. Forget this moment ever happen."

And he's did as he's told.

Silena watches him go back to his cabin, his movements stilted and robotic. She bites her lips and stifles the rising sob.

She's going to Tartarus for this. If Connor doesn't do it for her, she'll gladly do it herself.

Connor comes barging into her cabin in the middle of the night. Her light sleeping cabinmates wake up screaming and their screaming wakes up the others till it's all a screaming fest, but Connor isn't deterred. He marches to her bed and even afar she could see the panic in his eyes.

Her chest tightens.

She wants to run. She wants to hide.

But Connor is already beside her and he grabs her by the shoulders, eyes wild.

"Silena, there's something wrong with Travis. He's acting really weird. What happened after I left for hot chocolate?"

Her throat thickens.

"What are you talking about? I didn't see Travis after dinner."

Connor gawks at her. "What?"

"A couple of hours ago, at dinner, that was when I last spoke with him."

Connor scoffs unbelievably. He spins around, asking her cabinmates, "You saw us right? We definitely came in here before curfew? You saw us right?!"

Silena watches them all shake their head and Connor grows silent. He doesn't stop breathing heavily. He doesn't calm down. And Silena could see it, she could see the wheels spinning. Connor isn't Travis. But he's smarter and Silena knows it.

"Connor," she says, sitting higher on her bed.

Connor's angles his sharp, blue eyes to her.

"You should rest. You're tired. Forget about this."

Connor glowers. "Easy for you to say. You're not the one going crazy."

And he lefts with the same sharp, blue eyes.

thank you for reading!