Exception

By: Aviantei

64. How to Get Revenge: Soccer

If this were a Japanese school AU, the arrival of April would mean a new year full of new hijinks, and the further arrival of spring would mean that there would be sakura petals everywhere, pink scattered about the world in the peak shōjo manga aesthetic.

But this was an ambiguously probably-in-America high school AU (what's that? Then why do we have all those Japanese honorifics out and about? Don't worry about it!), so the arrival of spring didn't look anywhere near as picturesque. Sure, the blooming of flowers and green leaves on trees brightened the world after the rather dreary and snowy winter they'd experienced, but there wasn't anything around Black Order High School that screamed "Hey it's April!" the same way it would in anime. So our main characters and all their classmates had to appreciate the arrival of spring in different ways.

One such example: outside gym classes.

While it had taken a little bit for the weather to get its shit together (in like a lion and out like a lamb and all that), things were finally feeling consistently decent, and that day was no different. With Spring Break's passing, things were at last sunny and bright without being overwhelmingly hot, which was why it was no surprise at all to the various participants of our convenient main character gym period to see that they would not only be going outside that day, but also that they would be playing soccer.

It wasn't that soccer happened to be a super significant sport or anything, it was just that someone from the earlier gym periods had told their friend, who had in turn also mentioned it to their friend, and waiting at the end of that chain was Lenalee, who had also been kind enough to tell all her friends, so they were substantially prepared for what was to come.

And thus all changed into their respective athletic gear, the class trooped outside to be put into positions. Anyone who felt like volunteering for a part tended to get it, while the rest were assigned at random, and team composition was set from there. Lavi, who would have normally been beyond enthused to play any sport, was a little bit subdued as he eyed the other team from his position as goalie.

Both Ivy-chan and Yū-pon are on the other side, so this could get messy… While it sometimes felt as if it had happened an eternity ago, Lavi had yet to forget the results of the Death/dodgeball incident. Some said he still maintained the bruising until this very day… They both ended up on offense, too, so that's rough. I'd hoped that maybe the Brit could keep them in line, but it looks like he's on goalkeeper duty, too. Well, I've got Ari on defense and Lena as part of our offense, so it should be okay! All I have to do is keep cool and keep them from scoring too much, and I'm pretty damn sure we've got this game in the bag!

Feeling confident in his team's ability to score a victory, Lavi grinned and braced himself for the eventuality that his friends would be coming for him and show no mercy. Sure, this wasn't like the fall, whenever the yet to be couple had an insurmountable frustration to work off, but the fact was that his friends were competitive as all fuck, so even if they weren't out for blood, they would be out for the victory, and that was almost as dangerous as a position to be on the receiving end of.

All that to say that it was no surprise whatsoever whenever Kanda was the one to lead the offense, managing to swipe the ball and head in a straight charge across the field. While Kanda was the type to keep up a regular workout routine, he could admit that there was a different appeal altogether to sports. His athleticism was refined to a point that several Black Order High sports teams had attempted to recruit him, but his antisocial nature had met all those offers with curt refusal. It had been the worst in his freshman and sophomore years, whenever he hadn't even wanted to bother with people whatsoever.

And, well, Kanda still didn't want to bother with people, and he wouldn't join any sports teams into college, either, but that didn't mean that he was going to play badly on purpose or anything. Going easy on anyone just straight up wasn't in his nature.

Thus he was more than capable of dodging the other team's offensive line, getting in perfect range of the goal to fire off a kick. He was successful in both the wind up and the execution, and the black and white ball made a beautiful sight as it shot towards Lavi. One redheaded rabbit braced himself, but it turned out that he didn't have to as one Lee Lenalee swept in, intercepting the ball and getting it under control with no issues whatsoever.

She could've popped off some cool one-line, a sick burn, but Lenalee was not the type to waste breath on taunting her opponents. Instead, she considered it a much better use of her time to head back down the field, aiming for the goal where Allen had taken up sentry. Of course, Kanda wasn't about to let her off without a fight, following in close pursuit as the rest of their respective offensive lines attempted to get into good positions, but the facts remained that, out of every member of our main cast, Lenalee happened to hold some very distinct advantages.

One being that she was a pretty powerful runner thanks to some time she'd spent on the track team in middle school.

Two being that her kicks were deadly.

Both Ivy and Kanda were pressing in, attempting a pincer movement to recover the ball. It might've worked, too, except Lenalee noticed their strategy. Passing might've been an option, but point two was about to make a very notable appearance.

Because Lenalee kicked, and the ball flew across the field with such force that it was almost impossible to track. Allen, having not been expecting an offensive move from such a distance, was nowhere near in the line of fire, which was for the best because he didn't think he would've gotten out of a blocking attempt like that unscathed.

I don't know why I thought going back to school would make my life any less hectic, he lamented, glancing up to the heavens as if that would offer him some salvation.

"Allen-san, come on!"

Ivy's shout was enough to bring Allen back to active awareness, reminding him that the game wasn't just about to stop just because the other team had scored a point. Already everyone was getting into as strategic as positions as they could manage, and it was Allen's job to pick up the ball and get the game back in motion. He scanned his options for a moment before lobbing it in Ivy's direction.

What followed for the next few minutes was the typical sort of skirmish one would expect. One team made advancements, then the other team managed to wrangle the ball off them during a pass. Lenalee's teammates had already realized that she was easily their best bet at a victory, though, which meant the agreed upon strategy soon became getting her the ball as quickly as possible. And while that was about as solid as a strategy as you could expect out of a pickup team in a high school gym class (Lena was, in all reality, the best offensive member they had), that meant it was a pretty easy strategy to exploit in that Kanda, Ivy, and their assorted others just had to get in the way of any and all passes in that direction.

Thus the game entered what the author understands to be the default state for soccer: players navigating the ball around the field, trying to get closer to the goal but not making as much ground as they potentially could. And since those ones in question were high school kids without any investment in the sport itself, the end result was pretty messy, with plenty of outs and balls reentering the field. Even Lenalee, who'd pulled off such an impressive miracle play right from the start, fumbled her footwork more than once, leaving the game in a stalemate of 1-0 for quite some time.

But while the general lack of skill meant that it was difficult to see any masterful plays, it also meant that it was possible for one misplay to give an opportunity to the other team. It was with such a play that Ivy was able to swipe the ball from a player from the opposing team, and she made her way towards the goal, and Lavi braced himself for what she was about to bring to the table. No one could compare to Lenalee in terms of pure kicking power, but he had yet to forget the level of intensity one Minomasu Ivy could bring to the table, re: the Deathball incident.

Contrary to Lavi's expectations, though, Ivy wasn't anywhere near as out for blood as she'd been back then. The remainder of spring break had left her contemplating the situation with Alma—just yet another thing capable of disrupting the stasis she had been hoping for. And while the whole thing wasn't anywhere as chaotic as Valentine's had been, it was still enough that she was more so using the soccer game to clear her head with physical activity than she was intent on delivering any such acts of retribution with sports.

Thus instead of gunning for Lavi with ill intent (unless you counted wanting to beat his team as ill intent), Ivy wound up for a strike, aimed for the corner of the net, and kicked as best she was capable of—which was still a pretty solid amount of force when it came down to it. Still, it wasn't even close to the blistering speed that Lenalee was capable of, leaving a prime opportunity for the defensive line to do its job.

Lucky for their team that Ari was there and on the scene! She managed to get in the way, the halting the ball's momentum with her sternum and managing to juggle it on her knees before returning the ball underfoot. Ivy clicked her tongue at being thwarted, but there was no time to waste in getting into a fight over the ball when it would be a much better use of her time to try and stop Lenalee from scoring again, so she backed off. This gave Ari plenty of room to survey the field, find her chosen target, reel up for the kick, and send it hurtling across the field.

Across the field in this case just so happened to be the very short jump across the field and right at her brother's gut.

Lavi's purest of instincts was to jump right out of the way of any projectile aimed at him by his sister, but he managed to squash that feeling down and caught the ball in the most bodily manner ever. It winded him, sure, but he managed to keep his goal safe, which was pretty admirable of him, considering the circumstances. After all, Black Order gym class rules didn't care who shot the ball; if it landed in your net, that was a point against you all the way.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Lavi shouted—or at least attempted to shout; he was kinda still trying not to lose what was left of his breakfast from the impact—glaring at Ari as best as he could. "What was that even for?!" He hadn't had a second thought about sharing a gym class with his sister (his first mistake), and considering that he'd thought she'd calmed down since Valentine's (his second mistake), there hadn't seemed to be any reason to worry whatsoever. "We're on the same side, you know!"

"…Are we?" Ari asked, but she wasn't attempting to pull some dramatic betrayal reveal or anything. Oh, no, instead she was letting off an ominous aura that made her fellow defensive players take a step back in pure concern. "I thought we were on the same side. We shared a pact and everything. But you know what you've done, Nī-chan, and I can't let such a betrayal slide…"

Just like everyone else around them, Lavi was at a pure loss for what she was even talking about, but you can be damn sure that he was trying his best to remember. With a perfect memory like his, that shouldn't have been all that difficult, and yet as he combed over the past several weeks and months (what could he say? Ari knew how to hold a grudge), he couldn't find anything at all. "You wouldn't, uh… you wouldn't happen to be in the mood to give a dramatic monologue about just why you're so upset there, would ya, Lil' Sis?"

Ari saw his ruse for the stalling tactic it was and huffed. Lavi made the very strategic decision to hug the soccer ball closer so as not to give her ammunition. "This is an even worse betrayal that I imagined," Ari said, still happening to be in the mood to give a dramatic monologue about just why she was so upset there. "Not only have you trampled over my heart, but it was such an insignificant moment to you that you haven't even cared about what you've done. I don't know why I expected any better of you, Nī-sama."

It seemed that this was not just to be a day for dramatic monologues, but also one for creating a full-blown spectacle of events. With all the context clues, Lavi was starting to wonder if this had to do with the whole lowkey also still having a crush on Allen thing (Tyki might've been taking up most of his attention, but those feels just didn't fade away, you know), which if that was the case he was super glad that the Brit in question was all the way on the other side of the field and unable to hear what was going on for the moment, and also he needed Ari to stop talking now please and thank!

"C-come on, Sis, be reasonable," he said, already starting to sweat in a way that had nothing to do with the general physical exertion of gym class. "This isn't something we need to air out in public, do we?"

"Why not?" Ari was in a full worked up mode, and she shot down her brother's attempts at delaying the at this point inevitable with no mercy whatsoever. "You wanted to know why I kicked the ball at you, and this is it."

"Yeah, well, I feel like maybe this topic is something we don't need to air out in public, maybe?!"

"What? You don't want everyone to know that you're the kind of fiend that eats the last of his sister's extra special cookies without permission, even though she's been saving them for a special occasion?!"

Lavi had been halfway forming a retort—and also starting to realize that he didn't much care whether or not the school happened to know that he was some form of bi adjacent, so that was a nice realization to have about himself—and then it processed that the story he'd been crafting in his head to explain Ari's behavior was based on a false premise and it was crumbling straight down to the ground. The near incident at hand was about something else altogether, which on one level was fine and great because that meant Ari could say whatever the fuck she wanted, but on the other—

"That's what this was about?!" Lavi shouted in a moment of pure fed up older brother-ness. To call it anger wouldn't quite be accurate, but the internal mood whiplash sure was a sight to behold anyways. "What are you doing bringing up that ancient history now, huh?"

Ari, who had been seeking retribution and repentance, was not pleased in the slightest by the direction the conversation seemed to be taking. "Nī-chan," she said, both Bookman siblings digging their heels in for a showdown, "I don't like the tone you're taking with me right now. Besides, I know my dearest brother has an excellent memory of actual ancient history—" This was true; Ari and Lavi had spent one summer devouring everything they could find on the subject and had competed to see who could recite the most events in a time limit "—so he should understand that just last week is not ancient history in the slightest!"

"It might as well be!" For two teenagers with pretty high intelligence factors, the use of any sense of rationality just wasn't in the cards today. We apologize for any inconvenience this may cause the reader; please have a good day. His agitation making the pain in his gut start to fade away, Lavi let the ball fall to the side and stomped towards his sister. "Look, I did a bad thing, and I'm sorry, yeah. But I already went ahead and bought you like two whole replacement boxes, so there's no need to come at me right now, dammit!"

"Some debts cannot be replaced with such trite offerings!" It seemed that Ari was not able to be appeased so easily, and Lavi was starting to regret letting go of the ball earlier. Just in case, he stepped between it and Ari, just so he could have a chance if she decided to try something. "This is a matter that can't be settled without blood. Now put the ball back in play, Nī-chan!"

"Now, now," Lenalee said, having listened enough to get a proper grasp on the situation. "While I understand where you're coming from, Ari-chan, you're not supposed to try and score on your own goal."

Lavi nodded, praising Lenalee for being the voice of reason they all needed. And while Ari could admit that Lenalee had a point—vengeance at hand or not, losing the game because of it wasn't quite worth it—she also had a counterargument good and ready to go. "But the ball hit Nī-chan instead of going in our goal, so it's okay."

Lenalee looked thoughtful, which was never a good sign. "Don't encourage her!" Lavi shouted, already at the end of his rope. At this point, it was looking like the one way to keep himself safe would be to put the Bookman siblings manning opposite goals, and given the way Deathball matches worked out, it didn't seem likely that Lavi could use his personal safety as a reason to appeal. "Look, Ari, I get it, but surely we can work out some kinda deal—"

"Oi, are we playing or what?" Kanda asked, fed up to the point that he had to see what all the commotion was. Ivy had hung back again, just in case there was some sort of surprise attack in the works, but she was curious, too. "Some of us care about whether or not we get good grades, and standing around like this is making a mess. Get your shit together." He added a glare in Lavi's direction for emphasis, as if this whole situation was his fault. "Put the fucking ball back in play, Rabbit."

"Sir, yes, sir!" Lavi said, more than happy for any sort of distraction that lead to getting the ball as far away from his sister as possible.

The rest of the game, as expected, ended in Lenalee's team's victory, but at least no one died, so we're willing to count that as a win.

[Author's Notes]

Ages ago, back in the fabled year of 2009, fanfiction dot net user Deadly Fangs mentioned Lavi getting beaten up with a soccer ball. That idea has been living in my head since then, and I was at long last able to bring it to fruition in this chapter. Deadly Fangs, if you ever see this, I hope you enjoy.

But, other than that, this is getting back to my silly, one-off chapter roots. Plus it was fun (and gives some highlights on a certain character who will have a lot of focus in this arc), so I hope you had as much fun reading as I did writing it.

Next Time: "65. Picking Up Some Pieces." Please look forward to it!

-Avi

[17 February 2024]