Trigger warning for self harm.

If you struggle with self harm or suicidal thoughts, please, read with caution.

On the passenger seat, next to the Medal of Honor, the phone kept buzzing. Sky ignored it and kept her eyes on the road. She wasn't going to pick up. She wasn't going to listen to what Hawk had to say. She would never speak to him again because there was nothing he could say that would make things right.

Her vision was blurred with tears, her breathing came in ragged, painful sobs that tore through her weary body. She felt like she'd been hit by a truck, there was no spot in her body that didn't hurt, her soul was bleeding out through the wound in her heart.

He had lied to her.

Repeatedly.

About everything.

All the times when they had talked about the trashing of Miyagi-Do coursed through Sky's mind in fast forward. When Sky had called him and asked about it, he had been so shocked, had denied everything - but had he already been hiding the Medal in his drawer? And when Sky had asked about it in Italy, more than once - he had lied to her, brutally, mercilessly, again and again.

All lies.

So little respect he had for her. No love, only lies, only deception.

I should have known. It was too good, too good to be true. I never deserved it.

That thought escaped her as a painful, broken sob. It took all she had, to be able to stay in control of the car.

Can't think about that, not now, not now—

She focused on her breathing - four counts in, six out - gripped the steering wheel so hard that her knuckles went white. She couldn't afford to crash the car now, she had things to do.

She glanced at the medal on the passenger seat and the phone that was still buzzing with Hawk's picture on the screen. Sky flipped the phone over so that she didn't have to see, but the buzzing continued as he tried to reach her again, again, again.

Thank God it was Sam, who opened the door. She was the only member of the LaRusso household Sky was even remotely ready to face.

She knew she looked like shit - she certainly felt like that. The tears that had started to flow when she had rushed out of Hawk's room, were still running down her face and she knew they wouldn't stop, they would never stop.

"Sky—" Sam said and as she took in her wretched look - her wet hair, her pale face, and red-rimmed eyes, the tears on her cheeks - she went serious. "What's wrong? What happened?"

Sky couldn't answer. There was no way she could put it into words, so she simply fished the medal from her pocket and held it out in her outstretched palm.

"I'm so sorry—" she sobbed, meeting Sam's widened eyes. "I didn't know."

Sam picked the medal from Sky's palm carefully as if it was a priceless treasure - which it probably was to her.

"Oh my God," she breathed. "It's Mr. Miyagi's Medal of Honor! Where did you get it?"

Sky couldn't answer, She felt like she was going to be sick. Tears had started to flow down her face again and she was sobbing uncontrollably.

"He— he lied to me," she managed through her clenched throat. "I didn't know—"

"Who lied to you?" Sam asked, her eyes now filled with worry. She placed a soothing, calming hand on Sky's arm but it didn't help, the sobs that were tearing her apart were only growing stronger.

"Eli," she breathed. "Hawk. It— it was all a lie—"

She started crying hard, wailing, unable to control her emotions at all. It felt like she was being shot, again and again, the bullets shredding her heart apart.

And then Sam's arms were around her, and she pulled Sky into a fierce embrace. Her scent of cotton and fabric softener was warm and cozy, comforting and Sky breathed it in with shaky breaths.

"I'm so sorry," Sam breathed, holding her steady when the whole fucking world was crumbling to pieces. "Oh, Sky, It's gonna be okay—"

"No—" she sobbed. "No, it's not—"

"Why don't you come inside?" Sam said, releasing Sky from her tight embrace, to meet her eyes. "I think we have chocolate ice cream—"

That thought made Sky's stomach turn. There was no way she could eat, she could never eat anything in her life again. She felt like she would throw up, here, at the front door of the LaRussos, and then they too would realize there was nothing good in her, that she was a mess, that she was a freak, that she didn't deserve their kindness.

"No—" Sky stuttered. "I— I need to go."

"Maybe you shouldn't be alone," Sam replied, looking at her worriedly. "Just come in, we can go to my room—"

Sky shook her head, tears streaming down her face. She didn't expect Sam to understand, so she didn't even try. This was no normal breakup. Her heart was blown to bits and no amount of fucking chocolate ice cream could ever mend it together. This was not just a breakup - this was death, this was destruction, this was the end of all life - and she couldn't explain it, she couldn't drag Sam with her into the dark, dry well that was sucking her down, down, down.

"N— no—" she managed, wiping her cheeks. "No, I— I just wanna go home."

"You are in no state to drive," Sam said sternly. "Let me at least give you a drive—"

But Sky was already backing away from her, tears blinding her vision. It took all her effort to keep her voice at least somewhat steady when she spoke.

"I'm okay," she lied, meeting the other girl's warm, blue eyes. "Thanks for always being such a great friend. And, please, tell your Dad I'm really sorry. I didn't know."

"Sky—" Sam started, but she turned her back on her and ran back to her car.

Her hands were surprisingly steady when she started the car and drove off, leaving confused Sam standing in the doorway. But Sky wasn't thinking about Sam anymore, or the medal of honor. Those thoughts slipped her mind like passing shadows, as she drove away. She was thinking about Hawk again, and all the lies, and the pain that was shattering her heart into millions of tiny pieces. She was thinking about the weight on her chest and how hard it was even to breathe, and how it was all more than she could take. She missed Kat more than she had ever missed her before, her loss now fresh and painful on her soul too, like an old wound that was torn open and bleeding again.

When she parked her car in the driveway in front of her house, Sky knew exactly what she was going to do next.

The damn phone kept buzzing as she stuffed it into her pocket and rushed through the front door, but She didn't even think about picking up the call. She slammed the door and kicked off her shoes, tears still running down her face. She felt nauseous, a horrible headache was starting to hammer her skull.

"Dad?" She called with a thick and raspy voice, but no answer came. "Dad, are you home?"

The house was silent, empty.

Good, she didn't want dad seeing her like this. There was nothing he could do to help her anyway. He would only offer her ice cream or a movie too or he would want to talk - and none of that would help. He wouldn't understand, nobody would understand, that this pain was fucking killing her and that there was only one thing that would help.

Her legs were trembling, her head spinning, but she made her way to the garage, stumbled around until she found an ax, picked it, and carried it upstairs. She ignored the phone that was still buzzing in her pocket, stupid phone, stupid Hawk, her stupid fucking life.

When she reached Dad's bathroom, she was feeling so sick that she threw up in the toilet. She retched violently, emptying her stomach. The taste of bile burned her throat and her lips, but she welcomed it, she deserved it for being an idiot—

Idiot. Stupid slut.

It was all a lie.

He never loved me.

Wiping the tears from her cheeks and the vomit off her lips, she cried silently over the toilet for some time, then finally stood up with weak, trembling legs, and opened the cabinet where Dad kept the medicines. She took the large, red metallic box that was closed and locked with a padlock, and placed it on the floor.

Screw this. Screw everything.

I don't have to take this anymore.

This pain, the pain of losing Hawk, was worse than losing Kat. That she had survived - barely, but she had. Now Sky knew with breathtaking certainty that this pain she could not survive.

It was too much. If she didn't have Hawk, she had nothing.

Her hands were trembling with adrenaline when she raised the ax in the air over her head and brought it down in a fierce strike. The padlock shattered, pieces flew around the tiled floor as the ax cut through the lock and all the way to the floor, splintering a floor tile.

Sky barely noticed. She threw away the ax, it clattered onto the floor as she fell on her knees next to the box, opened the lid, and grabbed every bottle there was.

Her old painkillers, the medication for her anxiety attacks, everything. There wasn't much, the bottles were half empty, but she was hoping it was enough - besides, she had something in her room too. The rest of the benzos she had bought in Naples, hidden in the drawer of her nightstand.

She poured a glass of water and made her way to her room, found the tablets in a small plastic bag in the drawer, sat down by her desk, and laid all the white little pills on the table in front of her in a beautiful, neat row that would be her highway to Heaven.

She flushed them down with water, one by one. First the nameless benzos she had bought on the street. Then the anxiety medication. Then the painkillers.

It was easy. She didn't hesitate. After all, she had done this once already and now she was only finishing what should have been finished a long time ago, what had been dragged on for too long, since that horrible day when she had bled on the cold, tiled floor.

When she had swallowed the last pill, she checked the time. Fifteen minutes. She only had to endure that much, before the effect of the meds started to kick in. She didn't have to carry this pain any longer. Fifteen minutes, and then - nothing but darkness.

Oblivion.

She was grateful that dad wasn't home. He was out, on a date, Sky remembered now. Out all afternoon - and maybe all evening too, if things went well - and by God Sky hoped that things would go well because Dad didn't need to come home today, he didn't need to interfere this time, and he deserved his first date in decades to go well, he deserved happiness, he deserved a life without Sky constantly dragging him down with her stupid problems.

Sky hoped the lady he was meeting was nice. She hoped she would stick by Dad's side through all the shit Sky was about to put him through.

But she couldn't keep on fighting anymore, not even for Dad. She was too tired, too sore, too broken and no one could force her to endure more pain. Enough was enough.

With a deep breath, she took a post-it and wrote a short note on it with her favorite pink gel pen.

Dad, I'm sorry

Don't come in

Call 911

She stood up, walked to the door and stuck the post-it on the outside, closed the door and locked it, went to her bed, shut the curtains, and lay down on her side.

Her body was exhausted, trembling, strengthless. Breathing hurt, every heartbeat was strained, painful, unnecessary. She closed her swollen, burning eyes and wished for the darkness to take her, but the only thing she could see on her closed eyelids was Hawk.

Fontana di Trevi is beautiful at night. The sub-water lights paint the fountain the same color as the Mediterranean, a gorgeous shade of turquoise. Hawk holds her in his arms and they kiss, and Sky has never been happier, her heart is about to explode with emotions that course through her chest. He holds her in his arms and it is her home, she is safe, he will take care of her, forever.

The phone in her pocket had gone silent. Soon, everything else would finally be silent too.