Chapter LXXXXII

Coldness

Gently, the chirping of the birds wakes me from my sleep. I don't recognize the place, and a fleeting confusion overwhelms me for a breath. After an eternity of sleeping in a hospital room—or rather, in a depressing room—my somewhat confused brain takes time to process the information. I blink a few times and grimace in disgust. I'm under the blanket that I haven't cleaned yet; at that, my head rests on my equally disgusting pillow. Naruto took advantage of my swooning state to offer me this unwanted comfort…

It's only now that I realize that I'm in the arms of my student and that I'm his little spoon. His tail is wrapped tightly around my leg, and his face against my neck gives me incessant shivers due to his breath. I blush with embarrassment. I forgot how clingy and invasive Naruto can be. Somehow, his embrace feels good. I'm so comfortable that I don't want to get up; I want to stay in a ball and sleep in.

I let out a sigh and gently separate myself from the teenager, who is mumbling incomprehensible sounds. I glance at my dial. It's eight in the morning. I expected to get up much later. Naruto no longer seems to submit me to his nocturnal lifestyle. He must know that my body truly needs to recover from the damage caused by his venom. This resistance to substances of all kinds is double-edged; it threatened my life more than once. I wonder if I also gained resistance to poisons…

I go to the bathroom to take a shower and get rid of the static electricity accumulated in my hair. However, I stand still when I encounter my reflection. My enchanting silver mane bewitched by a hypnotic charm is normal. Usually, I wake up with a messy, ridiculous mop of hair, waving in every direction, like it's being pulled by some invisible force ready to rip it out. Slipping a careful hand through it, I don't hear any suspicious buzzing, and the hair doesn't stick to my skin. Obviously, I no longer store static electricity or am immune to it now.

Mechanically, I caress the back of my neck, then another detail captures my attention. Although I'm put off by the appearance of my hideously scarred arms, I observe them meticulously—specifically the bite from yesterday. The wounds that are only a few hours old are already healing, and there's no redness. As a result, they no longer hurt at all, even when I touch them with my fingertips. Odd.

Concerned, I roll up the sleeve of my pants. My eyes widen when I see the state of the bruises surrounding my ankle. Perplexed, I reveal the second. It's in the same condition as its twin. Last night they were purplish, burning and painful. Now the bruises have almost disappeared. By inspecting them by touch, the sore skin is no longer swollen and the temperature is normal. I lower my mask to look at my tongue. Like other injuries, it doesn't hurt as much anymore. The swelling and redness left it. Depending on its current condition, it will heal within a week instead of several, long weeks.

What does that mean? My wounds are healing with worrying speed, and that's not normal. These kinds of injuries take several days to heal. However, they will be by tomorrow or the day after tomorrow. Did I gain the chakra devourer's healing ability? It can only be that. Otherwise, I can't find any logical explanation for this phenomenon. In the hospital, I was constantly receiving care, and since I avoid looking at my arms, I didn't pay much attention either.

Cold sweat breaks out on my temple as I place a hand on the back of my neck. My body is changing … is still changing… Is there a stop on these worrying changes? Was I wrong about this impossibility that I transform into one of these creatures? Am I becoming something else, a being neither human nor chakra devourer?

I shake my head. I've already accepted that I'm no longer human, that I'm a macabre mixture of the two. It's just another tiny little detail of nothing at all that slipped through my fingers…

As long as I don't devour chakra, I'm normal.

As long as the mark doesn't progress on my back, I'm normal.

As long as I don't have a black, hairy tail, I'm normal.

"Calm down!" I tell myself, gripping my silver locks. "Now isn't the time to freak out. Although I'm out of the damn hospital, I'm not out of the woods yet. They don't trust me anymore. This is such that I no longer have to submit reports daily. If I lose my mind, I'll be locked up, whether I'm a demon or not. Naruto will be in turn, and I refuse to let him be plunged back into hell." I clench my fists. "I have to stay composed. I promised to protect Naruto, and that's what I'm gonna do."

- XxX -

Nothing has changed after a month. On my way to get groceries with Naruto, I hear vociferous whispers aimed at us. Obvious disappointments with our "release," confirming the rumours that we were both imprisoned. Their sharp, contemptuous eyes are bombarded on us without restraint. They keep a safe distance from us, as if an invisible force encompassing us was pushing them back. The sky is blue, luminous, but darkness proliferates in our wake like a disease corrupting the soil and the air, which is now toxic.

I ignore them, continuing on my way nonchalantly. But I return them a look even colder than theirs. I refuse to let them impress me. I make them understand that I don't intend to hide in my den with my tail between my legs. I'm a predator, and the predator is the one who rules with his presence alone. They can think and believe what they want. I no longer intend to hide. I hold my head high. I will walk straight no matter what, and I will break down all obstacles that stand in my way.

As for Naruto, he's perfectly calm. I don't detect any signs of stress and anxiety. I had trouble getting him out of bed this morning, but he didn't hesitate to follow me. He's not tired; I deduce that he slept part of the night. His light-sensitive eyes are glued to the ground, but his posture is straight, his shoulders are high, and he seems unshakeable now. The fragile, frightened little animal has matured; the vulnerable, wavering bud bloomed. Previously, I had to watch over him, protect him from the slightest breeze born of violence. Now I can trust him. I can't say how, but I know it, I feel it. In fact, I've been seeing new things since I left the hospital, and I can't explain it in words. I pay more attention to everything around me. I experience a rebirth that gives me the feeling of emerging from a deep sleep that has lasted my entire life, thus rediscovering a new world.

All my senses have been amplified, especially hearing, smell and touch. If I focus, the whispers buried beneath a loud orchestra are heard precisely, as if blown directly into my ear canals. Even though I'm dressed more than necessary, I feel the gentle breezes that tickle and caress my skin, the wind that carries my hair in their dance. I feel each solar ray that penetrates my skin and spreads their heat. The smells are an intolerable overload, to which I must once again adapt. Even with my mask, which filters out a large part of them, my intoxicated nose is assaulted mercilessly.

I wonder if my senses are as keen as Naruto's.

After a few minutes of walking, I finally arrive at the small grocery store in my neighbourhood…

"No… Not you… No… I don't want you here. G-Get out before this monster destroys my store."

I didn't even have time to take two steps inside… I stop in front of this bitter welcome. As Naruto continues on his way, I hold back a sigh. Her tone of voice is trembling, and her pulse is raging; this woman is terrified. As I look at her, she flinches. Her sad mask is about to shatter; she still begs for her miserable attempt to intimidate me to work and for me to leave. The tension is palpable, suffocating. She holds her breath like prey confronted with a predator.

When I approach the counter, she becomes livid. My icy gaze sees through this pathetic shell that she's building, her last rampart which roots her to the ground, preventing her from running away. I lean forward, placing my hands on the surface with a calculated gesture. "Oh? What do I must understand?" I ask, tapping the tips of my nails on the counter. "You want me to starve, right?"

"Uh… I…"

"Of course not! How stupid I am!" I cut her off, rolling my eyes and taking a condescending tone. "You're one of those fools who believe anything and everything." I glance at Naruto in one of the rows; he sniffs some containers while keeping us in his field of vision. "This 'monster,' as you say, is gently accompanying me and will remain this way as long as I decide. You know… With just a snap of my fingers, I can make your fears come true."

The woman is unable to answer me. Her trembling lips are condemned to silence. Her black, moist eyes no longer deviate from me. She stands on a rope above the void, and I'm the one holding the rope. I hear her heart palpitations with frightening precision; she succumbs to a primal fear deeply rooted in her genetic code for generations. I tighten my grip on her so that she understands that I no longer tolerate the violence the village displays. I lean in further, closing the thin gap between us.

"If I starve to death… What do you think will happen, huh? Who do you think the 'monster' will hold responsible? You, of course. He will come back here, and still be happy if your store is the only victims."

A rush of adrenaline flows through my veins, and I roughly grab this woman by the collar. I forcibly get her tear-soaked face close to mine. I stab her with my cold eye. I no longer intend to let them do this and let them disrespect us. "So, you're gonna let me do my shopping in peace and you're gonna shut up, do we agree?!"

Useless pleas escape her mouth. Still, she manages to nod … out of survival instinct more than anything else, and I don't care. I no longer have the patience for their little games. "Provoking me is provoking him. Try to remember that next time I come here."

I release her roughly. She almost collapses and her face suddenly turns pale. I notice that people are staring at me askance. All in all, I ignore them and focus on the reason why I came here. I carefully select my food, so I don't lose weight while Naruto inspects what I take with his sensitive nostrils. I realize that I'm being watched. He escapes my peripheral vision and probably witnessed the entire scene. Maa, whatever.

"You're the one who has the job of keeping an eye on me, hmm?" I mutter to myself.

- XxX -

I put away my purchases, fill my empty fridge that I cleaned from top to bottom yesterday. The only food I leave on the counter will be cooked shortly. Although I want miso soup with eggplant, I'm depressed; it will have no taste, no matter how much spice I add. I feel like I've lost my sense of taste, but that's not the case.

I experimented with different substances, including those unfit for consumption. I tasted soap and shampoo. I choked on numerous occasions, forced to chase away the toxic bitterness with gulps of water. I bit my lip to taste my blood. I even tested perfumes and cleaning supply. Sure, my sense of taste is altered, but it still functions. If I include those cravings where everything becomes a divine gourmet dish… I don't know what's going on with my completely confused taste buds. This started long before Naruto marked me… Am I losing my mind? Am I hallucinating? Nothing makes sense, and the fact that I can't explain it makes me anxious…

I'm pulled of my thoughts as Naruto taps my shoulder. He hands me a small bottle, in which there are flavoured leaves. In other words, he asks me a green tea. I grab it and inspect it. I inhale the sweet floral scents while closing my eyes; I have the impression of finding myself in the middle of the forest, far from the hubbub of Konohagakure, soon hearing the wind blowing between the leaves and branches. I could teach him how to do it … but his beaming face forces me to give in to his whim.

"I can make one for you. After all, we only gave you wa—" I don't finish my sentence. It's the first time I've seen this bottle. Having plenty to make teas of all kinds, I didn't buy any just now. I frown. "Naruto … where did you find this?"

The effect is immediate. The blond represses a start and shrinks down. Holding his breath, he moves his fingers stuck together in anguish; at that, a few hairs stand up on his tail. During my unpleasant discussion with this detestable woman, Naruto took the opportunity to steal something… I thought he was scanning the surroundings out of pure curiosity… He was on the hunt, looking for something that could interest him in order to steal it. I hope no one saw him do it since his thefts will be plastered on my back.

"Did you take anything else?" I ask with a disapproving tone, one hand on my hip.

With his head lowered, Naruto hands me an identical bottle, which he takes out of his pockets. It's not good at all. I'm dealing with a kleptomaniac Naruto now. This gets on my nerves. That's not his type at all; Naruto never stole anything, even when he was a child without any supervision. Did he develop problematic behaviours because of my prolonged hospitalization? I don't know… I can only cross my fingers, hope that this is a phase and the last time I catch him doing this kind of stupidity.

It's better that no one knows. I don't want the village to scrutinize our every move to find another argument, with which to get rid of both of us. Hatred towards us will grow; distrust like fear will grow as well, will become out of control. Knowing how people think, there must be a hell of a lot of complaints asking the Hokage to lock us up, to believe that the village has regressed by around ten years. Because of the Nine-Tails, Naruto got the same treatment during his younger years…

"I really have to keep an eye on you…" I sigh. "Naruto, stop stealing things. You're gonna get us into trouble."

- XxX -

The day has barely started that I want to go to bed to pass the time faster. I want to visit the Memorial Stone and the graves of my precious comrades; I don't know when the last time I went there was. I need to go; there's a void in me, and the guilt poisons me a little more each day, as if I were failing in my duty. Before this whole thing started, I went there every day, unless I was on a mission. Sometimes I watched the sunrise and sunset; from dawn to dusk staying there, dwelling on my mistakes and the past. My legs have rooted themselves in the earth more than once, tied and held by regrets and an endless number of "what if?"

Since Naruto is a nocturnal creature, I plan to train him at the end of the day. With his focus lacking, I prefer him to be awake and alert. I'll probably have to teach him the basics until his body remembers itself. After all, the years of training since he was just a kid are still there. It's something that can't be lost, like knowing how to swim.

From what I've observed, Naruto blindly obeys his instincts and fights like a wild beast without a specific goal in mind. He uses his claws before his fists and his tail before his legs. He limits himself to his use of lightning and his chakra, with which he amplifies his strength; at that, he also uses it to project gusts of electricity. Depending on his offensive and defensive postures, there's a lot of work to be done. His posture isn't stable as it should. I have to break his current thought pattern so that he integrates that of a shinobi.

Before tackling ninjutsu, I must start with taijutsu. Then I can have him relearn his usual techniques. I will perfect his art of lightning and teach him new techniques; the Raiton has no secrets for me and it's one of the domains in which I perform best. I plan to include a little genjutsu in his program, teaching him techniques that don't require the use of his pupils. I agree that it isn't the same thing, since his eye techniques are intuitive like his use of lightning… However, I remain confident. Sure, it won't be as easy as with Sakura, but he's not as hopeless as before either.

My goal is above all to make him gain self-confidence so that he can fight alongside me. The enemy is already preparing a new plan to take him away, and this time I will be ready … no. We will be ready. No matter what plan this group is plotting in the shadows, they won't stand a chance.

While my cover and sheets go through the washing machine, I lie on my bed, on my side, facing the wall. I read using the stuffed Kakashi as a pillow. Contrary to the usual, Naruto doesn't go to bed when the afternoon approaches. He circles me. He wants to play with me, and I don't want to at all. I need to be alone. So, I ignore him … with difficulty. After painful minutes of tolerating his wandering hands in my hair, I send him to shower to have peace. Unfortunately, this is only short-lived since he's already back in my room, a few centimetres from the bed, staring at me with his piercing and excruciatingly uncomfortable eyes.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see him rocking back and forth on his toes. Naruto wants to ask me something—wants to play with me. He lets out big, exaggerated sighs, making sure I hear them. Immersed in my favourite chapter, I pay him no attention. His ebony tail approaches me dangerously like an unwanted tentacle. With the latter, he tries to tickle me with the tips of his long hairs. I frown as he tickles my nose, making me sneeze.

"Leave me alone, Naruto," I grumble, brushing his tail off with the back of my hand. "I don't want to play with you."

The blond lets out another complaint. To my misfortune, he continues to annoy me with his damn prehensile tail. I growl in turn. He touches me with his tail absolutely everywhere; he's looking for a sensitive area to tickle me. I suppress a jump when he tries his tail on my foot. My heart speeds up despite myself. 'Calm down,' I order my organ of love while holding my breath. 'He will hear you and know it.'

I remain impassive as best I can … but Naruto continues to push on. My racing heart has spilled the beans. The teenager knows it because he doesn't stop. I don't see him, but he has a mischievous grin on his face.

Unable to resist him any longer, I let out a laugh before jerking my feet away. Naruto stares at me with a psychopathic face; his ear-to-ear grin is unhealthy, and his monstrous fangs are visible. His intentions are perfectly clear, and I panic. A cold sweat slides down my temple.

"No. Na… Naruto, we'll agree, right? You didn't see anything," I negotiate, brandishing my palms in front of me. Mechanically, I back up until my back hits the wall. His grin, animated by malicious intentions, doesn't leave his face, which sends shivers down my spine.

"You forget that, and I'll stop struggling when you want to groom my hair, okay?" Naruto turns a deaf ear; he much prefers to torment me. His azure eyes are focused on me. He's a feline about to pounce, and his overexcited tail is jostling in all directions. "I warn you! I won't hesitate to hit you!" I threaten him, pointing my finger at him.

The tension is palpable. It's like talking to a wall. My student will do everything he can to capture and tickle me…

Naruto pounces at me, arms wide open. I roll out of bed at the last second. I don't feel the coldness of the floor since I do a backflip when he jumps on me again. In a split second, I draw from my precious chakra reserves and materialize a clone, with which to draw his attention away from me, and it works.

As I silently land onto my bed, my clone doesn't have time to land on the ground before Naruto catches him in his arms. I take advantage of this diversion to carefully open my bedroom window. My clone struggles for a few precious seconds and disappears into ephemeral, white clouds. Faced with this inexplicable phenomenon, Naruto stands with many question marks on his head, visibly troubled by what he's just seen.

Slowly, I sneak through the window. However, I don't have time to cross it since he suddenly turns his head before pouncing on me. I let out a muffled cry, and he's too fast. He grabs my ankle at the last moment to force me back inside. Having nothing to hold on to, I'm suddenly thrown into my bunk. The painless shock empties my lungs. With a devilish grin on his face, Naruto is already on top of me, ready to attack my feet.

"PLEASE! LEAVE ME ALONE!" I struggle like mad to push him away. I furiously wave my legs and arms in desperation in all directions, trying to land a blow. I manage to kick him in the chin … which elicits absolutely no reaction from him, no flinch of slight pain. With an agile and powerful extra limb, he quickly gains the upper hand.

He forces me onto my back while lying on top of me. He wraps his arms around my chest and my left arm, pinning them to my body with just one arm. He succeeds in reducing my range of action with my right arm that I wanted to use to pull his hair … his hair that I can no longer reach. I beg him to release me when he grabs my leg and holds it in place, folded over itself. He immobilizes my next leg with his tail. With the hairs at the end of it, it tickles my sole. I start to fidget while holding back laughter.

"No! Please! No! Naruto! Stop! Stop!" I beg with a forced smile. I try to free my restrained leg; I can't move it an inch. I end up laughing in despair, and Naruto silently laughed at my misfortune, taking pleasure in torturing me with his hairs acting like vicious feathers. I can't breathe anymore, just as I can't stop laughing; I'm unable to regain control over my voice and my breathing. When my eyes fill with water, I manage to free my right arm, which I stretch to give myself momentum and therefore, to hit Naruto…

Then, a dull crack split the air. We slide into the centre of the bed, which breaks in two. I catch my breath while Naruto analyzes the situation, what just happened.

"Ahhh… It had to happen sooner or later," I whisper between two noisy breaths before rolling my eyes. With the daily scratches and our chaotic and wild struggle… The bed spring gave way and split in two. Humiliated and disappointed, I slide a hand through my silver mane, letting out the longest sigh of my life.

"Well done… You have just destroyed my bed spring and my dignity…"